


Tender is the Night

by moist_n_creamy



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Accidental Bedsharing, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fanfiction, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort Hell, M/M, Mutual Pining, OC, Romance, Warning: Sex Abuse Mention (Not Graphic), sin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:05:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 118
Words: 295,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9832052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moist_n_creamy/pseuds/moist_n_creamy
Summary: My self-indulgent, OC-riddled, hoe-shit Mystic Messenger fic.Who's ready to sin?18+ for Violence, Explicit Sex, and No-No WordsFOREWORD:This story might be considered a bit of an AU. While the original plot remains as the central framing device for my little saga, all plot points are combined into one complete universe, rather than having details be gradually uncovered as the same story resets over and over. Thus, some small details must be fudged a bit to fit into one singular story, and to better fit character personalities. I will try to stay true to the canon characters' personalities, and to the original plot. Though, as I mentioned before, those plot points may occur in a different order than they did in the canon, in order to accommodate the expanded storyline. ALSO: MASSIVE OC WARNING. I'm introducing seven dumb children into this universe. So be prepared for that. If you don't like OCs, ABANDON SHIP. I'm just here to have a good time. It's gonna be a shit-show.ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE





	1. Wine Drunk is Always a Bad Idea

**Author's Note:**

> I first started writing this work in December of 2016. "Another Story" was not released until September of 2017, and by the time I started to play through it, I'd already written 97 chapters for this work. As a result, I was unable to incorporate a lot of V and Rika's canon characterization without creating continuity errors out the ass. I regret that they aren't necessarily written as multi-dimensionally as they appear in "Another Story." I am attempting to bring in a few elements, but there is a limit to what I can do at this point. "Another Story" is an AU anyway, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I did my best.

\---

Yuki Asano's cell phone buzzed with an incoming call as she poured herself a glass of wine.  
"Anna! It's been a while!"

"Hello Yuki, how are you settling in in Seoul?"

Yuki took a swig of her Pinot. "Oh, you know, still getting used to living in a completely different country, still missing New York a bit. Classes are going well; I've got some really talented students this semester, and they're even assigning me a TA for the Spring. How are things going for you? Still enjoying your job at La Bernardin?"

"Eh, it's a job. Though I may be leaving New York soon. I've been offered the opportunity to interview for an executive chef position at a restaurant in your neck of the woods. It'd be a huge change, moving to Korea, but at least I'd have a friend I could count on to help me adjust!"

"That's awesome! Is it too selfish of me to say that I really hope you get it?"

Anna laughed. "Is it too selfish of me to speculate that maybe you've got some cute girlfriends there that you could introduce me to?" Yuki could practically hear her friend smiling devilishly on the other end of the line.

"Ugh, I can't even find a boyfriend for myself, let alone finding someone for you, ya perv," Yuki smirked, taking another sip of her wine.

"What? You seriouly haven't found anyone special yet?"

"Anna, it's been all of four months since I got here. I'm teaching a full load at the university, and I still have to find time for my paintings."

"Right, right. I know how you feel. So busy~. Just make sure you find a hot D while you're still young and beautiful."

"I drink green tea and I moisturize, Anna. I'm gonna live forever."

"Have you tried online dating?"

"Eh? Like those sexting apps they're always talking about? Not really for me. I'm 25 years old. I need to date someone seriously, not fool around."

"No, no. That's not what I meant. They make apps for people seeking serious relationships, too. Maybe give one of those a try."

"Maybe."

"Ah! I need to get going. My shift is about to start. Sunday nights aren't too busy, but I still have a lot to do. Take care Yuki!"

"Bye, Anna. Let me know when you'll be coming in for that interview. You can sleep on my couch."

Yuki tapped the "end call" button and sighed. Anna was probably right. She probably should start looking for someone special, but was a dating app really the best way to go about looking for a husband? Yuki supposed it couldn't hurt. She poured herself another glass of Pinot Noir before opening the App Store on her phone and searching "dating apps." The usual suspects came up: Tender, Scissr, iHarmony... RFA? Yuki hadn't heard of this one before. "Chat with hot guys..." Yuki's brain was buzzing from the wine, and, on a whim, she tapped "download."

\---

Taking another big gulp of Pinot, Yuki opened the application. Cheerful music greeted her as the screen prompted her to enter her name. Almost immediately, she received a chat request from "Unknown." Wow, creepy much? 

This "unknown" character claimed to have found a cell phone on a subway and claimed to want to return it to the owner. Unknown claimed that an address had been listed on the phone, and now wanted Yuki to go to the address, in an attempt to find the owner.

Ugh, Yuki hadn't even had the application on her phone for five minutes yet and already serial killers were reaching out to her. No way was she going to go to some strange address at the request of someone who wouldn't even reveal their name.

Unknown persisted, claiming that the area was very developed and that Yuki had no reason to feel afraid. Unknown even said that she could turn back at any point if she should feel unsafe. What the hell. Who was this "Unknown" and why was he(?) so obsessed with getting Yuki to go to this address?

Yuki's thoughts raced. To be quite honest, she was a little curious about this whole situation. Her inhibitions were fading fast, despite her full knowledge that the safest thing to do would be to delete the application and forget the whole thing. _Maybe it'll be okay as long as I've got my pepper spray with me... After all, I can always turn back if things get weird..._ She responded to Unknown's message, agreeing to attempt to go to the specified location. Yuki slipped on a pair of shoes and picked up her handbag.

\---

The location was only about ten blocks away, as it turned out. _Just looks like a normal apartment building... Maybe someone really did just leave their phone on the subway._ As Yuki arrived at the specified unit, her phone sounded again, this time with a message from Unknown containing a passcode for the front door. Yuki wasn't sure about this. She didn't really feel comfortable intruding on someone's private residence. She decided to knock first. No answer. Yuki knocked again. Still no answer. Tentatively, Yuki punched the code into the electronic keypad on the door.

The lock beeped and a green light flashed, granting Yuki entrance to the small apartment. It was a studio unit, smaller than Yuki's present residence. The room was eerily tidy, as if someone had not lived there for some time. Perhaps it belonged to someone who lived outside the country, but conducted business in Seoul often enough to warrant a permanent living situation. Regardless, Yuki thought it best to leave a note before heading back home, mystery solved.

Just as she was about to turn back around, Yuki's phone pinged again.


	2. Welcome to Our Beautiful World

\---

Yuki looked at her phone to see a new notification from the RFA app. "New chatroom open." Maybe this time she wouldn't be sent on a wild goose chase. Statistically, this invite HAD to be from someone semi-normal. Yuki entered the chat, which included five other users.

One of the chat users, listed as "Jumin Han," noticed Yuki's presence immediately. "Someone else is here," he observed. Yuki was confused. Was she not supposed to be a part of this conversation? She had assumed she'd been invited to join. Had the program glitched and sent her randomly into a private chatroom?

The other users quickly began to comment on Yuki's presence. It became very apparent that this really was a private conversation, and that Yuki was not supposed to be privy to it. 

The user under the name "Jaehee Kang" was immediately suspicious of Yuki's presence. "How did she get here? How do we know we can trust her?" Yuki took no offense to this, as it was indeed a strange occurrence, and this was very clearly intended to be a restricted chatroom. Yuki herself was beginning to feel suspicious of the situation.

"Honestly, I'm not sure how I was able to join this chat. I downloaded this dating app called 'RFA' and then this person listed as "unknown" told me to go to some apartment and then I was invited to join this chatroom. I'm just as confused as the rest of you."

"Dating app? Are you looking for a boyfriend?" asked a user listed as "Zen," completely missing the point.

The user listed as "Yoosung" seemed to make a connection between the current situation and Unknown's request for Yuki to investigate the address. "Apartment? Do you think she could be at Rika's apartment? Can you find out, Seven? You're the only one who knows that address, after all."

"Gimme a sec. I'll look into it."

"We should ask V about this," Jaehee suggested. "Also..." she paused for a moment. "Can you try to find some information about this Yuki person? I'm sorry if I come across as distrustful, Yuki, but you have to understand that this situation IS unusual."

"I understand. Is this 'V' you mentioned another regular member of this chatroom?"

"V is the head of RFA. He handles most administrative decisions," Jumin explained.

"I'm starting to get the feeling that RFA isn't actually a dating app. What exactly have I gotten myself into?"

"Aw, she's like a poor little lost puppy. Don't worry princess, everything will be okay~." Yuki took a screenshot of this message, fully intending to send it to Anna later on. "Get a load of this guy," she would say, "This is why I never tried online dating!" Yuki squinted at the silver-haired man's profile image. He was lucky that he was good-looking. Otherwise all this "lost puppy" and "princess" nonsense would be right at home on a cringe thread on Readit. Jaehee seemed to read Yuki's mind, responding with an exasperated-looking animated emote.

"Allow us to explain this much," Jumin started, "You are correct. RFA is not a dating app. RFA stands for 'Rika's Fundraising Association.'"

"Both you and Yoosung have mentioned this Rika person. Who is she?"

Yoosung picked up where Jumin had left off. "Rika, as you can probably guess, started this organization. We held parties to raise money for good causes. Rika used to coordinate them, until..."

"?"

"Rika passed away a little over a year ago. Since then, we haven't held any parties," Zen explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure she meant a lot to all of you."

The user identified only as "707" re-entered the chat, bringing with him several photos of Yuki. A purikura strip, a graduation photo, her most recent profile image.

"How did you get those photos?"

"I pulled them straight from your Facepage account lolol. Yuki Asano. Japanese-Born, Bachelor of Fine Arts from NYU, Master of Fine Arts from the School of Visual Arts, Speaks Japanese, Korean, and English, adjunct professor of fine art painting at Daesun University here in Seoul, need I go on?"

"No, no, you've made your point." 

"She's cute~."

"Oh, don't worry about him;;; he's got low standards lolol."

"Well excuse me for not being Miss Universe..."

"He didn't mean it like that, he just meant that Zen does this all the time," Yoosung explained, trying to pull Seven out of hot water.

"lolol Yuki's far from ugly lolol."

Zen sent a selfie to the chat. "No one seems to mind my flirting, since I'm so handsome~." Yuki lowered her phone and stared at the wall for a moment. Zen's photo brought on a firestorm of self-portraits. Pictures of Yoosung, Jumin, V, Rika, even Jaehee flooded Yuki's phone.

Jaehee sent another frustrated emote.

"Same, Jaehee," Yuki muttered to herself.

"As you can see, it's been a while since there's been another woman in the chatroom. Seven, any progress on confirming Yuki's location?"

"Almost done." Seven was silent for a moment. "She IS at Rika's apartment."

A chill ran down Yuki's spine. She had been sent here by Unknown intentionally. Her mouth went dry. What exactly was going on? Her gut instinct told her that something wasn't right about this. Her fingers hovered over her phone's keyboard.

"Yuki, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here... What is going on?"

A new user entered the chatroom. "Good evening, everyone," V typed. "Hello, Yuki. This situation must be very confusing for you."

_No shit_ , Yuki wanted to say. 

"Yuki, I think it's best that we try to be honest with you," V typed, "RFA has had some... security concerns. There have been some attempts at hacking into our databases with the goal of stealing private information. Rika took a lot of precautions to make sure that information was safe."

"I thought this was a charity organization."

"It is. However, many of the guests attending our parties are very wealthy, or very high-profile. Thus, they require a certain level of discretion."

"I still can't believe that even you didn't know the location of Rika's apartment lolol," Seven mused.

"Maybe we should ask Yuki to join RFA. Regardless of how we feel about it, she's a part of this now," Zen suggested.

"But how can be be sure that she's not involved with the hacking attempts?" Jaehee's concern was evident.

"I don't think she has anything to do with that. None of the information 707 has uncovered thus far indicates that she's anything more than a randomly-selected proxy. I believe the best thing we can do is invite her to join RFA. Yuki's in a delicate situation. We definitely want her on our side."

"I suppose that's true..."

"Luciel, please continue to search for Yuki's background information, and keep me updated. Please try to uncover information on this unknown person as well."

"She's an Aquarius, if anyone was wondering lol."

"What do you say, Yuki? Will you join us?"

Yuki thought about it for a moment. Maybe if she joined this organization, they could start raising money for charity again. They had lost their party coordinator... And if anything, Yuki was incredibly organized. Her color-coded daily planner could attest to that...

"I'll do it."

"That's great to hear, Yuki. Maybe you can take over Rika's old role and we can start holding parties again, if you're comfortable with that." V seemed to have the same idea as Yuki. "In the meantime, please pass along all information you have about 'unknown' to Luciel so that we can continue to investigate the incident. Also, you will need to start staying in Rika's apartment, for your own safety."

"Can I go and retrieve a few things from my own place? Like clothes? Some personal items?"

"Of course. Please notify us when you return to your present location so that we can confirm that you are safe. If you hear from 'unknown' again, please share any information. I must go now." V left the chatroom.

"Yay~ Welcome to RFA, Yuki!" Yoosung was like an excited puppy.

"Welcome to our beautiful world, princess~."

"I look forward to getting to know you better, Yuki."

"I can assure you that you will not regret this decision. I hope that we can all work together to host parties again."

"Thank you, everyone. I hope we can do some good work. Let's all do our best together!"

One by one, Yuki's fellow RFA members signed off. Yuki closed the application and sighed.

_What the actual fuck._


	3. Tyto Alba

Yuki wasn't quite sure how to feel. One one hand, she was hopeful that she would be able to contribute something to a good cause, and she was very curious to see what would happen next. Her fellow RFA members were certainly... interesting. She wondered how they had all come to be a part of this organization. There were some very strong personalities involved. At the very least, she knew she was guaranteed to get a some hilarious screenshots out of the ordeal. However, Yuki was also wary of the situation. The whole thing was very odd. Was "unknown" related to the attempted hacking incidents? What did they hope to accomplish by involving Yuki? 

Yuki sighed, running a hand through her short, black hair. She didn't particularly want to move into a stranger's home, but at the same time, she wasn't about to go against V's instructions if her safety was on the line. She grabbed her bag again, and headed back in the direction of her own apartment.

\---

Zen scrolled back through the now-completed chat, re-reading Yuki's messages. He was intrigued, to say the least. Yuki had seemingly come out of nowhere, and Zen was itching to know more about her. He tapped one of the photos Seven had dumped into the chat, enlarging it. Yuki really was a cute girl. Smooth light brown skin, glossy black hair, big golden-yellow eyes... Kind of like a cat, but not gross. "Yuki..." the name was unfamiliar on his tongue, but Zen found himself smiling at the sound of it.

\---

One back in her own home, Yuki located a suitcase and began packing some essential items- clothes, shampoo, makeup, a couple of sketchbooks, her instructional materials. Yuki assumed that she would be able to continue teaching while participating in RFA. A gal had to make a living, after all. Yuki packed enough items to get through a couple of weeks, balking at the prospect of moving everything at once. She'd just moved from New York four months before, and wasn't too eager to break out the moving boxes again. _I'll move as I go... Besides, maybe this whole hacker thing will get sorted and I'll be able to come back._ Thankfully, she was sober enough to drive now, and she loaded her suitcase, work bag, pillows, and a few bags of groceries into her hatchback. 

It was getting close to midnight, and Yuki's first class started at 10:00 the next day. It was time to be heading back to the apartment. Yuki climbed into the driver's seat and started the ignition. The satellite radio switched on and the soothing voice of the NPR host floated out over the airwaves. Yuki's phone pinged again, signaling a new notification from the RFA app. The chatroom was open again. Her curiosity piqued, Yuki joined the conversation. 

"Hello again, Yoosung."

"Hi Yuki, have you made it back to Rika's apartment yet?"

"I'm just about to head that way. It took me a little longer to gather my things than I originally expected;;"

"How much stuff do you need lol"

"I needed to pick up all of the materials for my classes. I'm right in the middle of grading sketchbooks right now."

"Oh that's right, you teach at Daesun."

"Yes, that's right."

"So you really are just a normal person."

"Yep!"

"I know you haven't been with us for long, but I think it's going to be great having you in RFA." Yuki smiled. _What a sweetheart._

"I like your positive attitude! I hope that I can help out and that we can all become good friends."

"Zen was right. You are cute, Yuki!"

"You're gonna be so surprised when you see me in person, lol."

"I hope we can meet you soon!"

"I hope so too! ^^"

"I have to go now; I have a match starting on my game."

"Have fun!"

Yuki signed off. Yoosung was a nice kid. If he was any sort of indicator of what type of people were involved with RFA, everything would be fine. Yuki was starting to feel more at ease with the situation, and her interest continued to build. 

\---

Jaehee sighed, glancing over at the clock hanging on her living room wall. She had hoped to finish this work hours ago, but she couldn't seem to focus. Her thoughts were occupied with this new development, this mysterious Yuki. Jaehee wasn't the type of person to trust someone too easily. It often took her a while to warm up to people. She really hoped that her hesitation didn't come off as jealousy. She had been the only woman in the group since Rika's death, and suddenly she wasn't anymore. Jaehee's reservation could very easily be interpreted as territorial behavior.

She sincerely hoped that Yuki wasn't offended. If anything, Jaehee wanted Yuki to be a good person. It would be nice to not be the only woman. Maybe she and Yuki could become close friends, and they could look out for one another.

Realizing the unlikelihood of her work being finished anytime soon, Jaehee opened the RFA application.

\---

Yuki was just slipping her nightgown over her head when her phone sounded again. RFA was certainly... communicative. _I'll just check right quick and then off to bed._

"Jaehee, you're still awake?"

"Yes, I've been trying to finish up some work for tomorrow. Mr. Han has an important meeting and I'm preparing the agendas."

"You work for Jumin?"

"Yes. I suppose I forgot to mention it before. I'm his assistant. That's how I became involved with RFA."

"You're very diligent."

"Perhaps you could put it that way. What about you, Yuki? Do you consider yourself a hard worker?"

"I suppose I might. I often find myself staying up working later than I intend because I get really focused on my work and I want to do the best job that I can. Thank goodness for coffee haha"

"It's good to take pride in your work, but you shouldn't stay up too late. It's not healthy to deprive yourself of sleep."

"Thank you for the advice. I'd advise you to try to sleep soon as well."

"I hope I will be able to. I'll let you go now. Good night."

"Good night, Jaehee."

Yuki was happy to have been able to talk to Jaehee a little bit more. She could sense the other woman's hesitation, but tried not to take it too personally. Jaehee seemed to be the serious type, but Yuki wanted to believe that she was very kind and warm once she became more familiar. Yuki plugged in her cell phone, set a few alarms, and switched off the light, unsure of how quickly she would be able to fall asleep.

\---

Zen was absolutely wired. He'd been trying (and failing) to focus on practicing his lines for the next day's rehearsal for the past few hours. He knew that he probably should try to get some sleep, but he didn't feel tired at all. 

In all honesty, what Zen really wanted to do was talk to Yuki again. He had been kicking himself for missing not one, but two opportunities to talk to her. He had been able to go back and read the transcripts, but it didn't really compare to being a participant. Yuki seemed really sweet and friendly, and Zen was itching to talk to her again. _She's probably sleeping now. It's past four in the morning. I really should be sleeping too..._ Maybe he could sneak in a short workout to try and get rid of some of this excess energy... Or he could always take another look at the RFA chatroom...just to see if anything was happening...

\---

Yuki groaned and rolled over, fluffing her pillow for what felt like the millionth time. She'd been laying here for almost two and a half hours, trying desperately to fall asleep. Every time she managed to get comfortable, her thoughts would start racing again, and when they finally calmed down, she'd realize that she needed to turn over, and when she turned over, she'd have to get comfortable again, and then...

Seeming to sense her restlessness, the cell phone on the bedside table vibrated, announcing that Yuki wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping. _Might as well..._

She opened the application, entering the open chatroom. It seemed Zen was a night owl as well. _A_ Tyto Alba _perhaps?_ Yuki smirked at her own cheesy joke. _Well, let's see how this goes..._

"[Yuki has entered the chatroom.]" Zen's heart leapt into his throat. He couldn't believe his good fortune. _I suppose it's not so surprising. She is an artist-type, after all..._

"Good evening, Zen. Or is it morning now?"

"Yuki, hello. I hope I didn't wake you." _What, no 'Hello my sweet caramel latte princess' business? Or is it more of a 'What would we be doing if I was there right now?' situation after midnight?_

"No, it's all good. I haven't gone to sleep yet."

"So you're more of a nighttime person, then?"

"I do tend to stay up fairly late. I teach during the day, so I usually spend my evenings working on my paintings." Yuki instantly regretted sending this message. If she got to talking about her work, they'd be here for hours. She decided to follow up with another message. "I do have to admit, I'm up later than normal tonight."

Zen smiled. _So cute!_ "Having trouble sleeping? Don't worry; I can't seem to settle down either." He paused, contemplating whether he should send the next thought that occurred to him. "Is your heart beating faster too?" _Oh God I sent it. I hope that's not weird..._

_And there it is._ "My heart's beating fine."

Zen snapped a quick selfie, and sent it to Yuki. "Are you sure?"

Yuki smacked herself in the forehead. _Jesus Christ. This boy._ She enlarged the photo. Maybe it was the exhaustion setting in, but Zen wasn't a bad-looking guy. Yes, he was objectively handsome, but there was a softness in his expression. Maybe he was flirtatious, but he wasn't an asshole. Yuki felt just a tiny but bad for jumping to conclusions.

The exhaustion rapidly eating away at the filter between her brain and her thumbs, Yuki sent back a response without much consideration. "You have kind eyes." A moment later, Yuki's brain processed what she had typed. She let out a strangled screech, and very nearly launched her phone across the room. _I wonder if it's possible to delete my existence..._

Zen's face grew hot as he read Yuki's message. He took a quick screenshot, knowing that he would want to read those words over and over again. _Shit, Yuki. You're gonna give me a heart attack if you keep saying things like that._

"That's...really sweet of you to say. It's been a long time since anyone's said anything like that to me."

"Really? I thought you were RFA's resident lady-killer." Zen could detect Yuki's sarcasm. _Damn it. She can see right through me._

"To be honest, it's been quite a while since I went out with anyone."

"Why that long?"

"I guess... I'm just not often around women who are looking for the same thing I am."

"Don't be discouraged. You're still young, right? You've got time. The right person will come along. You have to have faith."

A little smile rode up Zen's face. _Maybe she already has._ "Thanks, Yuki. I guess I'll let you go now so you can sleep. You probably have to teach tomorrow, right?"

"Yep." Yuki paused. "I hope I can fall asleep;;"

"Close your eyes and relax. I'll meet you in your dreams."

"Go to sleep Zen, you're drunk."

"I'm perfectly sober, thank you."

"Are you sure about that?"

"One Hundred Percent! You can even come over and confirm for yourself if you want!"

"Zen..."

"Yes, Yuki?"

"Go to bed." With that, Yuki signed off. _She's certainly something else._

Zen felt his eyelids drooping. He knew exactly what he would be dreaming about.

"Good night, Yuki."


	4. Something Meaningful

\---

The 7:30 am alarm on Yuki's phone sounded, the shrill beeping rousing her from her relatively brief slumber. Almost tempted to hit the snooze button, she reluctantly dragged herself from the bed before tugging on a set of workout clothes. If her daily run in the brisk air of an October morning didn't bring her back to the land of the living, maybe a hot shower and a cup of coffee would do the trick. Yuki slipped her phone into the small zippered pouch she wore on her waist and popped in her earbuds before quickly stretching out her muscles, trying in vain to shake off the exhaustion. Her late night had really taken its toll, but Yuki couldn't say she regretted it, exactly. She was feeling a little more confident in her decision to join RFA after talking more with her fellow members. Stepping into the elevator, she briefly wondered if anyone else was awake yet. _I hope Jaehee was able to get that work done in time to get a good night's sleep... And Zen... I hope he slept well too..._

Yuki furrowed her brow. _I must still be half-asleep if that's what I'm thinking about this early in the morning..._ The elevator reached the ground level and dinged, pulling Yuki from her reverie. She exited the building, doing her best to push her brooding thoughts from her mind before breaking into a sprint.

As she propelled her lean body forward, Yuki's mind cleared, her thoughts merely flitting between the chilly air nipping at her skin, her breaths, and her pumping heart. Her surroundings were unfamiliar, but it was a pleasant part of the city for a run, if not a little posh for Yuki's taste. Having spent the past seven years enveloped by the New York art scene, Yuki was accustomed to surroundings a bit more bohemian. She had carefully selected her Seoul residence based on its proximity to a few key art galleries, but now it seemed that her painstaking research was going to go to waste.

Her energy waning, Yuki made her way back to the apartment building. It was now nearing 8:00, and she still had plenty to do to prepare for her first class of the day. As she punched in the access code to her specific unit, Yuki felt her phone vibrate inside her waist pouch. Stepping into the apartment, she slipped it out and opened the RFA app. 

\---

"Good morning, Zen, Jumin."

Zen smirked and gave a satisfied "Hmmph," pleased that Yuki had greeted him first, rather than Jumin. "Good morning, Yuki. I see you're up early too."

"What were you doing, Zen?"

"I woke up a little while ago, and couldn't seem to fall back asleep, so I decided to put the time to good use and get a short workout. Are you getting ready for work, Yuki?"

"I'm about to. I just got back from a workout myself. I like to run in the mornings." 

_Maybe we could go for a run together sometime..._ Zen wanted to say, but thought better of it. He didn't want to be too forward, and risk pushing Yuki away. As he was pondering what to say instead, Jumin interjected.

"Assistant Kang could take a few pointers from you regarding diligence, Yuki. It's nearly 8, and she still has not arrived to work. I certainly hope she has completed the documents I requested from her."

Yuki frowned. "Please don't be too hard on her. I think it's better to treat employees like human beings, rather than being too strict."

"I do wish that she would at least pretend to enjoy her work. I asked her to care for my cat, Elizabeth III while I am away on an upcoming business trip, and she seemed rather put out."

_He asked his assistant to cat-sit for him? Seriously?_ "It sounds like a complicated situation."

"What about you, Yuki? Do you like cats?"

"I'm not too fond of them really..." Yuki's nose itched at the thought.

Zen's smirk grew into a full grin. He liked Yuki more with every chat bubble. Especially when she was putting Jumin's ass on blast. 

"Well, in any case, I need to sign off now. Assistant Kang has made it to the office."

"Have a good day at work. Say hello to Jaehee for me."

Jumin exited the chat room, leaving Yuki alone with Zen, who was happy to have her to himself for a bit. That is, until his phone vibrated, signaling a text message from his agent, who wanted Zen to give him a call.

"I'm sorry Yuki, but I have to go as well. My agent wants me to call him."

"Your agent?"

"I guess I haven't mentioned it to you. I'm a theatre actor. We'll be talking about an audition I had recently."

"Oh I see. I hope everything goes well!"

"Thanks, Yuki. I'll talk to you later." 

Yuki was alone now. She was just about to sign off when Seven's goofy little hand-drawn icon blinked onto the screen.

"RFA's resident mastermind makes an appearance."

"Lolol hey, Yuki. I'm just taking a little break from researching."

"What are you researching?"

"I've been digging around for information on this whole 'Unknown' situation, as well as conducting a little more background information on you. I guess you could say I've been thinking about you all night long lol."

Yuki rolled her eyes and cracked a small grin. "Did you find anything?"

"I'm following some leads now, but nothing too concrete yet."

"Anything you can share with me?"

"Not yet. I need to speak with V before I pass anything along."

"Can't you just tell me?" Yuki was growing frustrated, and a bit anxious. Seven had to have stumbled across something fairly serious if it needed to stay confidential.

"I'm afraid not." Seven seemed to realize that Yuki was growing tense. "Don't worry. Your safety isn't in question currently. It's just that this situation is somewhat...sensitive, especially for V."

"How so? That is, if you can tell me."

"It's fine. V was Rika's fiance. That is, until she passed away last year."

Yuki's stomach hit the floor. "That's so sad..."

"I'm concerned that 'Unknown' might be connected to her death in some way. That's why I want to talk to V first."

"I see." Yuki paused a moment, unsure if she should continue asking questions, unsure if it was really any of her business to be asking. "Seven...how did Rika leave this world?"

"She committed suicide."

"That's awful..."

"It is. It's almost like RFA has been frozen in time since she left us. No one really knows how to go forward from here." A couple of minutes passed, neither chat user really knowing what to say next. Finally, Seven continued. "I'm glad you're here with us now. A shock to the senses; that's what we needed. Maybe now we can start to move on."

"I hope so. I know that it's hard to come back from something like that, but I hope everyone can start to heal now."

"Oh! I need to get going. A new lead just came my way."

"Bye, Seven."

Yuki closed the application, feeling a little nauseous. She had entered this scenario in media res, barging her way into a group of people who were very clearly hurting. Not only did her presence have the potential to worsen the trauma, but, being an almost-perfect stranger, Yuki was powerless to help her fellow RFA members. She could only hope that over time, she would grow closer to them, and maybe then she could help them heal.

\---

As she stood in the shower, with fog puffing about and hot water tickling her scalp, Yuki continued to ponder the situation at hand. She empathized with her new aquaintances, but she also felt nervous for her own safety. If the individual who had involved her was indeed connected to Rika's death, Yuki could potentially be in a lot of danger. She felt helpless. She would simply have to trust V and Seven to keep her safe. She ultimately didn't have a choice.

Applying her makeup, Yuki tried to think more positively. First, she had a unique opportunity to contribute to a good cause. First and foremost, RFA was a charity organization, and Yuki was in a position to get the ball rolling again on those benefit parties. Second, she had gotten to meet five new people in one go, and she could already see the beginnings of friendships starting to take root. 

Her fears waning, the seed of curiosity began to sprout again. Yuki itched for another chat. She pulled on a pair of black pants, a black v-neck t-shirt, and a pink kimono jacket, almost regretting having to go to work. A storm of questions singed her brain. Unfortunately, life continued as usual. There were jobs to do, agents to call, classes to teach, leads to follow. Yuki sighed, pouring some fresh coffee into a travel mug and blending it with a bit of cream. She tugged on a pair of ankle boots and slipped out the door, off to work.

\---

Jaehee's lunch break was almost over, and she was feeling distracted. She'd been struggling to focus on her work all morning. Thankfully, her conversation with Yuki the night before had eased her mind enough that she'd been able to finish Jumin's meeting documents, but the strange situation still weighed heavily on her mind. She was feeling a little more comfortable with Yuki's presence, but she remained skeptical. One question in particular remained in the forefront of her consciousness. Unable to wait any longer, Jaehee opened a new chat.

Yuki sat at her desk, printing off copies of a John Berger excerpt that she wanted her second-year painting students to read. After a 2-hour critique, she was glad for the quiet that her office hours provided. That silence was interrupted when a now-familiar "ping" escaped from the cell phone in Yuki's handbag. She snatched up the bag, scrambling for her phone.

"Hello, Jaehee."

"I'm glad you responded, Yuki. I want to know more about you."

"About me? I'm really not that interesting. I'm an adjunct college professor at Daesun University. I'm a painter. I like to read. I'm unmarried..." Yuki could discern that Jaehee was still suspicious, and was happy to provide any information that would help her feel more trusting. 

"Yuki, how do you feel about trying to hold parties again?"

"I think that would be fun."

"I'm glad to hear that. It's good that you have a positive attitude."

"So... what will I have to do? Specifically..."

"You'll need to book the venue, the caterer, any entertainment, and you'll be responsible for inviting guests."

"That's a lot of responsibility, but I'll do my best."

"Of course, we'll be able to help too."

"I really hope that we'll be able to start hosting parties again."

"Me too, Yuki. I think it'll be good for everyone, V in particular. He's been distant since Rika died. I think we'd all like for him to be around more. Well, except for Yoosung, anyhow."

Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Why except for Yoosung?"

"Well... I don't know if anyone's mentioned this to you... but V and Rika were going to be married."

"Yes. Seven told me."

"Well, Yoosung is Rika's cousin, but they were close, like siblings. He's been hostile toward V since Rika's death."

"Do you know why?"

"No. None of us know for sure. I suspect it's because Yoosung took offense to V's grieving process."

"Oh? Like how V's been distant, as you put it?"

"Maybe."

"Well, everyone processes grief differently."

"That's true."

Jumin's name appeared at the top of the chat.

"Hello, Jumin."

"Hello, Mr. Han. Yuki and I have been taking a moment to discuss the responsibilities of the RFA coordinator."

"I see. What do you say, Yuki? Are you up to the challenge?"

"Don't worry. I'll do a good job."

"Do you feel comfortable being in contact with the guests?"

"I'll try my best."

I'm a little surprised that you're so interested in the organization and willing to take on this responsibility."

"I'd like to do something meaningful."

Jaehee felt relieved by Yuki's answers, though she was still a little nervous to see how everything played out. "I've got to be going now. My lunch hour is ending. time to get back to work."

"The same goes for me. I'm glad we were able to talk about this a bit."

"I am too. You two have a good rest of the day at work."

\---

The 3:00 train pulled into the station with a chuff. Zen stepped into the car, happy to be heading home after a particularly grueling rehearsal. One of the other cast members, though talented, struggled with memorization, and didn't always put in the extra time necessary to overcome this difficulty. Zen opened the RFA application, hopeful that Yuki's cute face would cheer him up.

Yuki flitted about the figure drawing studio, checking the progress of her students' work and offering suggestions here and there. She had just finished explaining to a student how she should rework her foreshortening of the model's legs when her phone vibrated in her pocket. Yuki took a seat and discreetly slipped it out.

"Zen, hi~" Zen smiled. Yuki's greeting was so cheerful and cute. _She must be having a good day. I'm glad._

"How has your day been, Yuki?"

"It's been good. I'm teaching a class right now, but the students are occupied drawing a 30-minute pose, so I can chat for a few. How has your day been?"

_She's so cool!_ "Rehearsal was a little rough today, but I'm on the way home now, so I can relax." He snapped a quick picture of his reflection in the mirrored wall of the train car and sent it to Yuki.

Yuki followed his lead, switching her phone to the front-facing camera and discreetly capturing an image.

Zen did his very best not to get all dumb and giggly right there on the train. _She sent one back!!_ "You look cute!" The ambient lighting cast soft little highlights on the high points of Yuki's cheeks and flickered in her eyes, a rich gold in the shadowy room. 

"Oh! That's right! You were supposed to talk to your agent about a recent audition. How did that go?"

"You remembered! It went well! I haven't been offered anything yet, but they've narrowed it down quite a bit and they're still considering me."

"That's great! I'm happy for you!"

"I'm really glad to be considered. The audition was so convoluted... I had to perform lines from three different scenes AND an entire song from the score."

"That's a lot! You must be talented."

Zen puffed out his chest a little. Yuki was really kind to say those kind of things to someone she hardly knew. Zen needed to be careful to avoid letting those words go to his head. "Maybe you can come see a performance sometime..."

"I'd like to do that... Oh! Time's running out on this pose. I need to go in a few minutes."

"Ok, Yuki. Don't work too hard! And make sure you remember to eat!"

"Don't worry. I had lunch, and I'll have a snack when this class is over. I'm teaching a class from 5-8 tonight, so I'll have dinner when I get home."

"Good girl. I'll talk to you later tonight."

"Ok, Zen. Bye!"

The timer beeped, signaling the end of the pose. "Ok guys, 15-minute break. Then we'll set up again for a 60-minute session." Yuki pulled her lighter and pack of smokes out of her bag and headed downstairs, flanked by several students who had the same idea. Once outside, Yuki lit a cigarette and took a long drag, feeling a little guilty for having judged Zen so harshly at first. He could be a little... eccentric, but under that, he really was a nice person. Yuki looked forward to seeing him perform in the future. She flicked the butt of her cigarette onto the pavement and ground it out with the heel of her boot.

\---

It was almost 8:30 when Yuki finally made it home. She had picked up some take-away on the way home and fully intended to pair it with alcohol. She pulled a bottle of vodka out of the freezer and poured roughly four shots-worth into a large glass, mixing it with lemon-lime soda. She took a large swig, enjoying the sweet burn of liquor in the back of her throat. 

Yuki was half-way through her food and already on her second vodka-soda when her phone vibrated again. She snatched it up and quickly opened the now-frequently-used application, seeing that both Zen and Jumin were online.

"Zen, you're on."

_Take that, asshole! I'm her favorite!_

"Yuki! Did you make it home safely?"

Yuki snapped a picture of her dinner, not noticing that the vodka bottle was slightly visible. "Yep, having dinner now."

"And a drink, I see," Jumin added.

"Oops."

Zen laughed. Yuki was clearly a little buzzed. He sent Yuki a picture of the beer he was currently enjoying. "Don't feel bad. You're not alone."

"Cheers, bitch." Ok, maybe she was a little more than buzzed.

"You certainly do liven up things, Yuki."

"Is is good that I'm here with you guys?"

"That seems to be the case thus far, but it'll take some time to determine your worth to the organization."

Yuki was indignant, and these emotions were only amplified by the copious amount of liquor she had dumped into her body. "Why do I have to prove my worth to anyone?"

"Relax, Yuki. I only meant that we don't yet know exactly how your participation will impact RFA."

"Oh, I see. Sorry for overreacting."

"You don't need to apologize, Yuki. Jumin's a dick."

Yuki laughed out loud. "Well, in any case, you guys don't need to worry. I'll try my best to be helpful."

"I'm not worried, Yuki," Zen typed, "I'm sure you'll do great. Well, we should let you get back to your dinner."

"I agree. We'll talk another time."

"Later guys."

\---

It was getting close to 10, and Yuki sat writing comments regarding some of her third-year students' paintings. She was still rather buzzed, as it was always easier for her to come up with wise-sounding bullshit when she had been drinking. Yuki had lost count of how many A-quality art history papers she had written while blasted during undergrad. She was so intently focused on her task that she jumped a solid 3 inches into the air when her phone suddenly started vibrating, Zen's face appearing on the screen. The RFA app had a phone call function, apparently. Yuki was slightly suspicious. What exactly did Zen want to talk about that warranted a private phone conversation? Still, Yuki accepted the call.

"Hello?" Zen jumped, surprised that Yuki had actually answered.

"A-are you there, Yuki?

"Yes, I'm here. I didn't know the app could make phone calls. What's up?" Yuki's voice was soft, feminine, but it definitely had a rough edge to it. Zen thought it suited her perfectly.

_I was too curious about how your voice sounded. Also you're cute and I like talking to you. Also I'm a little drunk and have no self-control._ "I was wondering... How do you feel about all of this, really. You can be honest. I won't repeat any of this conversation to anybody."

"Well, I'm curious to see what will happen... and I'm excited for all the things to come."

"I'm really happy you joined us, Yuki."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Zen's words failed him momentarily, "you seem really nice, and I think you'll fit in well. I hope V lets us meet you soon."

"Is V that important?"

"Well, he started this organization with Rika, and he's been leading us since Rika passed away."

"Why doesn't V come here often?"

"He's been travelling a lot since last year. I think it helps take his mind off everything..."

"It's not the worst coping mechanism I've ever heard of." Yuki suddenly launched into a violent coughing fit.

"Yuki! Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Yuki croaked, "you know how sometimes you choke on liquid?"

"Yes."

"Let's just say that I've learned that you can't drink and talk at the same time."

Zen cracked up. "Yuki, are you still lit?"

Yuki was quiet for a minute. "...Yes."

"Me too..."

They both sat there for a few moments, giggling sheepishly.

"Shit, Yuki, do you have to teach tomorrow?"

"Yeah, but not until the afternoon. I can sleep in if I need to."

"Your poor liver..."

"Yeah it's kind of fucked. Lungs too."

"You smoke?"

"Some. Mostly on long days or when I'm stressed and up against a deadline. I know it's bad, and I should quit, but it's hard."

"Don't feel too bad. I do it too, and probably more than you do. Maybe we can make a pact to quit together, and then we can both feel terrible."

"Let me get through this semester first." Yuki laughed.

"Well, I should let you go. Even if you can sleep in tomorrow, I should let you rest."

"Ok. Good night, Zen."

"Good night, Yuki.

Reluctantly, Zen ended the call. He really wanted to keep talking, but he didn't want to take up too much of Yuki's time. He'd only known her for a day, but he was really starting to like her. She was fun, and cute, and cool, and really funny. Zen could tell that these feelings were only going to grow deeper, but that was ok. He'd just roll with it. Maybe Yuki would feel something in return, maybe not. At the very least, they could become good friends.

Yuki finished her work, and her mind drifted back to everything that'd happened over the past 24 hours. They really were going to start hosting parties again, and the new responsibility weighed heavily on Yuki's shoulders. She didn't regret it, and felt optimistic about the future. Maybe it was the booze talking, but in that moment, Yuki was convinced that everything was going to be great.

\---  
A/N: Is my art degree showing?


	5. A Sensible Woman

\---

Jaehee and Elizabeth III stared at one another. Elizabeth stretched her front legs, kneading the carpet with her paws, and yawned with a loud "Mrrrwahh" before padding over to Jaehee's couch, jumping up and curling herself into a snuggly ball. Jaehee's eye twitched.

  
Feeling like venting a little, Jaehee snapped a picture of Elizabeth and signed on to a new RFA chat.

  
Yuki greeted her promptly. "Are you still working, Jaehee?"

  
"No, I'm at home now." Jaehee paused. "Well, I guess technically I'm still working..." She gave Elizabeth III the ol' side eye.

  
"Is something up?"

  
Jaehee sent the picture of Elizabeth. "Mr. Han just dropped her off."

  
Yuki cracked a sympathetic smile. _Oh, no, no, no Jaehee!_ "He's so wrong for doing that. And visiting you this late at night?"

  
"I have to admit, I'm not too pleased about it."

  
"Next time, don't open the door."

  
Jaehee laughed at Yuki's dry response. "As much as I'd love to do that, I don't want to have to look for a new job."

  
"I doubt he'd fire you. You're good at your job."

  
"Thank you for saying that. Say, Yuki, I've been wondering... How are you feeling about working with us? I mean, are you comfortable?"

  
"Everyone's been nice so I'm not worried." She really meant it. It seemed like everyone had welcomed her with open arms, even though the circumstances of her entrance were decidedly suspicious.

  
"That's good. Oh...I need to get going. That cat seems to be taking an interest in my curtains."

  
"Oh no! Go get her!"

  
"Good night, Yuki."

  
"Good night, Jaehee."

  
It seemed that Yuki had been correct in her previous assessment of Jaehee. The other woman's demeanor grew warmer with every interaction, and Yuki was tickled. She found the idea of women always competing with one another abhorrent, and much preferred strong friendships between women. Yuki deeply cherished her friendships with other women, and sincerely hoped that, in time, she could consider Jaehee a close friend too.

  
\---

  
It was just past 3:00 in the morning, and Yuki was hard at work on her computer, sorting through photos she had taken as reference for her current painting series, and fiddling with them in an editing program; sharpening here, increasing saturation there. Hopefully tomorrow she would be able to start work on a new canvas, as she only had to teach two classes the next day, and would be home by 7:00 in the evening. She needed to be getting to sleep soon. At this rate, she'd be getting 6 hours of sleep at the most. Yuki closed down her computer and went to wash her face.

  
She'd just finished applying her facial products and was brushing her teeth when her phone pinged, signaling that someone was online. Yuki finished brushing and spat the foam into the sink before signing on.

  
"You're still awake?"

  
Zen smirked. "Says the girl who is also still awake."

  
"I got caught up editing reference photos, so sue me."

  
"Like a reference for a painting?"

  
"Exactly. What are you doing?"

  
"I picked up some mail from my P.O. Box today. I've been reading some of my fan letters."

  
"You must feel good."

  
"I do." Zen paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Though, ironically, the more popular I've become, the lonelier I've been."

  
"Does your popularity have anything to do with you getting a girlfriend?"

  
"It does. I've generally been advised not to date anyone, in order to avoid being involved in a scandal. I hate that I'm made to choose between my career and finding love."

  
"Don't be so weak. You're not the only one who is lonely."

  
"Are you lonely too, Yuki?"

  
Yuki froze. _What kind of question is that?_ "I...haven't really thought about it. I spend so much time thinking about other stuff. Romance doesn't cross my mind much."

  
"But you've gotta admit, the idea of laying down next to someone at the end of a long day is nice, isn't it?"

  
_Why all this talk about romance all of a sudden?_ Despite her hesitation, she couldn't deny that Zen was right. "I suppose so."

  
"I like talking to you, Yuki. I hope you stick around with us. It seems less lonely since you've been here."

  
Yuki didn't know what to say. _He certainly is forward._ _I suppose it's good that he's honest, though._ "Don't worry. I won't disappear."

  
"You should be going to bed soon. You need to be getting enough sleep."

  
"I will soon. I'm getting ready for bed now."

  
"That's good. You go ahead and sleep, Yuki."

  
"Ok. Good luck reading those letters."

  
Yuki signed off, a bit of confusion nagging her brain. Was Zen...starting to have feelings for her? _Ha! No way! He's probably just excited to make a new friend. Besides, I highly doubt I'm his type. Prettyboy types always go for the ultra-gorgeous girls._ Yuki laughed at herself for even momentarily considering such a ridiculous idea. _It's definitely time for bed._ Yuki slipped her nightgown over her head, set an alarm for 9:00 am, and crawled into bed, falling asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  
\---

  
Unfortunately, Yuki was pulled from her peaceful slumber an hour earlier than she expected when her phone sounded at 8:05 am.

  
"Mmmmm....ughhhhhh," she groaned, reaching for her device. More than anything, Yuki wanted to continue sleeping, but she knew that it would be irresponsible to ignore the chat. She grabbed herself a glass of water, and signed on.

  
"Jaehee, how is the cat?"

  
"She's fine. She wasn't too pleased that I put her in the spare bedroom to keep her from destroying my apartment while I'm at work, but she's fine."

  
"I can't believe you locked my sweet Elizabeth III in such a cramped space all day."

  
Yuki rolled her eyes. "You should just be grateful that Jaehee was willing to take care of her while you're gone."

  
"That doesn't matter if she doesn't do a proper job."

  
Yuki sighed. Clearly there was no getting through to Jumin when his cat was involved. Yuki decided to change the subject. "When do you think we'll hold the next party?"

  
"Probably a week from Thursday." Yuki very nearly spit out her sip of water.

  
"Wow, that's really soon! I'll need to get to work as soon as possible."

  
"Fortunately, the venue and catering, and entertainment have already been arranged. All you will need to do is communicate with the guests."

  
"We'll help you come up with a list of people to invite," Jaehee added.

  
"Ok. Sounds like everything should turn out fine. I was a little nervous for a moment!"

  
"That's understandable. Oh, that's right, when do you think you'll be able to pick up your cat, Mr. Han?"

  
"I estimate sometime tomorrow."

  
"Are you able to be any more specific?"

  
"Tomorrow evening?"

  
Jaehee sent a frustrated emoticon.

  
"Don't act annoyed with me. I am paying you extra for this, after all."

  
_What a douche._ _Zen was right._ "It's not about money. You have to respect Jaehee's private life too."

  
"In any case, I need to be going now. I've got a meeting in half an hour with the Japanese branch of C&R."

  
"C&R?"

  
Jaehee offered an explanation. "C&R International is a conglomerate company founded by Mr. Han's father. Mr. Han is the Executive Director." For the second time that morning, Yuki almost spit. _Are you fucking kidding me? No wonder he was able to arrange so many of the party details so quickly._

  
"Maybe I'll pay Yuki's family a visit while I'm in Japan," Jumin quipped.

  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you..." Yuki responded, thinking about what type of people made up parts of her extended family.

  
"You're probably right, _Asano-nee_."

  
Yuki's faced burned. "Did Seven tell you about that?"

  
"Yes, he's found quite a bit of information regarding your history."

  
"Wait, I'm lost. What are you two talking about?"

  
" _Asano-nee_ is Yuki's nickname from high school. Seven uncovered it along with the rest of the details about Yuki's high school career," Jumin explained, thankfully leaving out the juicier bits of information related to this topic. "By the way, the kanji you have tattooed on your upper back...what does it mean?" _So he knows about that too..._

  
"So he even got you details on my tattoos?"

  
"Just that one." _So she does have the tattoo._ Jumin made a mental note to ask Seven to look further into this.

  
"All of this is going over my head."

  
"We'll talk about it privately sometime, Jaehee. I'll tell you anything you want to know."

  
"I'll be going now. I need to prepare for my meeting."

  
"Don't forget to come get your cat tomorrow!"

  
"I won't."

  
"Jaehee, I'm glad it's almost over for you, haha."

  
Yuki signed off. _Shit. Shit. Shit._ She ran her fingers over the "王女" inked on the top bump of her spine. She'd gotten that tattoo secretly when she was only sixteen years old, and she sincerely hoped that Jumin wasn't jumping into any conclusions regarding her current affiliations.

  
There was no way Yuki was going to be able to go back to sleep now, so she started fumbling around for some clean leggings, hoping that going for a run would ease her mind.  
  
\---

  
Yuki removed the mug of hot water from the microwave in her office, dunking a tea bag into it, watching the water slowly take on a greenish-yellow tint. _I really hope I don't get kicked out of RFA for this... I'm not the same person I was then..._ She picked up the mug and her cell phone, locking the door to her office before heading down the hallway to the large painting studio. _Then again, I'm sure Seven is thorough with his research. He'll be able to confirm that I haven't been up to anything unsavory._

  
The 3:00 studio was about to start, and Yuki's students were already setting up their canvases and preparing their palettes. Yuki sat down on the leather couch in the corner of the studio, checking to see if she'd missed any messages or phone calls. Almost on cue, a new chat notification popped up. _Ho boy..._

  
_Oh, God. V's online. I'm definitely in trouble now...Ok, just play dumb._

  
"Hello, V."

  
"Good afternoon, Yuki. I hope things are going well for you in regards to your new position."

  
"Everything seems to be going well so far." _Ok, so far, so good._

  
Zen's icon appeared in the chat, and he greeted Yuki and V.

  
V greeted him in return. "Hello, Hyun."

  
"Hyun?"

  
"That's Zen's real name, Yuki; Hyun Ryu."

  
"Oh, I see."

  
Yuki stealthily peered around the studio, making sure her students were engrossed in their work, before whispering the new name to herself. "Hyun..."

  
"What?" Hyun Paik hollered from the other side of the room. _Goddammit._

  
"Not you!" Yuki hollered back, before returning her attention to the conversation on her cell phone.

  
"So, what's going on for you today, V?"

  
"It's strange. Several guests have contacted me regarding the new party coordinator. Have you been in contact with any guests yet, Yuki?"

  
"No, I haven't."

  
"The information seems to have gotten out somehow."

  
"That's actually suspicious..."

  
"I agree. I've talked with 707, and he didn't release the information."

  
"Someone's not watching me...right?"

  
"If you are being watched, it's by someone outside RFA, and it's unauthorized."

  
_Well that's fucking horrifying._ Yuki felt like she might have a panic attack, but calmed herself, not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of class. "I'm a bit scared..."

  
Zen felt sick. _Yuki..._ "We'll do everything we can to make sure you're safe."

  
"For now, we're still planning on going ahead with the party. Are you ok with that, Yuki?"

  
"I think it will be fun. I'm glad we get to hold the party again."

  
_She might really be in danger, and she still wants to help. She's as positive as ever..._ Zen was suddenly aware of a warmth in the center of his chest. _Yuki really is a special girl..._

  
"I need to get going. I need to make some phone calls."

  
"Ok, V. Talk to you later."

  
"Bye, V."

  
Zen couldn't tear his thoughts away from this new development. "I really hope this is a misunderstanding. Yuki, please trust V to take care of this."

  
"I will. I'm thankful that he worried about me."

  
"This must be hard for him. I'm sure it brings up a lot of memories of Rika."

  
"He must have loved her deeply."

  
"Listen, I've got to get going too. I'll talk to you later, Yuki. Be safe, ok?"

  
"I'll do my best. See you later, Hyun."

  
Zen's breath hitched in his throat. _She really is something else..._

  
\---

  
Yuki was about to sign off and make a lap around the studio when Seven suddenly signed into the chat.

  
"707 has entered."

  
"Hi Yuki, I guess I just missed V, huh?"

  
"Yeah, did you want to talk to him?"

  
"Yep, I have some new information that needs his attention."

  
"That doesn't sound too good;"

  
Yoosung joined them. "Hey guys~"

  
"Hey, Yoosung. It's been a while~"

  
"Did you find anything new, Seven?"

  
"We'll find out soon, I guess," Yuki was also curious as to what Seven wanted to discuss with V.

  
"Good afternoon, everyone," Jumin greeted, signing into the chat.

  
"Hello," Yuki responded. _Damn, talk about a sausage fest._

  
"I'm a little surprised that Assistant Kang isn't here as well."

  
"She's probably busy. Jaehee has a life of her own;"

  
"I'm a little disappointed to have missed V as well."

  
"I'm not..." _Oooooooooohhh..._ Deep inside, Yuki was a messy bitch who lived for other people's drama, though she would never admit this to anyone. Yuki always found herself being the person people came to in order to talk shit about others. She generally knew everyone's secrets, because she stayed quiet and observed from the safety of her own lane.

  
Yuki lifted her mug to her lips, the liquid inside singeing the tip of her tongue. _Ah! This tea is still too hot!_ "I guess Yoosung isn't getting along with V?"

  
"I just don't like how cold he's been since Rika died."

  
"Maybe V knows something you don't..." Unfortunately, because Yuki knew everyone's business, she always ended up being the mediator between conflicting parties.

  
"And he's gone all the time..."

  
"Maybe he has his own reasons. I want to trust V."

  
Seven interjected. "Yuki, I'm still gathering intel on 'Unknown.' Is there anything else you can tell me? Something you might have forgotten to mention before?"

  
Yuki searched her brain. "I think he mentioned something about religion..."

  
"Thanks, Yuki. That gives me something new to go on."

  
Yuki looked at the clock. She'd been chatting for almost 20 minutes now. "I need to be going now. I need to look over my students' work. I'll talk to everyone later." She signed off. Yuki rested her elbows on her knees, knitting her eyebrows together. _Well, at least this will take everyone's mind off of my tattoo._

  
\---

  
Yuki dropped the instant curry blocks into the pot of simmering vegetables, hungry for some comfort food at the end of such a bizarre day. After this, she hoped to lose herself in the process of starting a new painting. While she waited for her dinner to cook, she grabbed an Usagi Super Dry from the fridge and popped off the cap.

  
The first thing Yuki had done after arriving home was check every place a camera or listening device could possibly be hidden. She'd seen enough detective shows to give the apartment a fairly thorough once-over. She'd even checked to see if there were two-way mirrors installed. Yuki felt fairly confident that she wasn't being monitored every second of every day. _It was probably "Unknown" that leaked the information._ Still, Yuki was on high alert, constantly looking over her shoulder when walking to and from her car, stopping on the way home to purchase a new can of mace, even blockading the front door handle of the apartment with a chair. Everything else would have to be left to Seven and V.

  
Yuki's cell phone dinged, and she grabbed it, desperate for the "all clear" message.

  
"Hyun, are you done with work?"

  
"Yep! Ah! I'm so excited!"

  
"Got a date?"

  
"Ha ha," Zen responded sarcastically, "No, it's career-related."

  
"You must be starting a new piece~ Congratulations!"

  
"You got it! I went for costume fittings earlier." He sent a photo of himself wearing a long, black wig.

  
"Lolol good for you."

  
"What do you think?" Zen had started analyzing Yuki's responses to his photographs, trying to gauge her reaction.

  
"I think it'll suit you well." _So we're being cryptic, huh?_ "Tell me about your new project."

  
"It's a love story adapted from a popular romance novel. There was even a romance novel book club waiting outside when I left. I was surprised, but they were very polite. Maybe we should invite them to the party."

  
"Sounds good."

  
"I'll get going so I can start learning my lines. Make sure to eat a good dinner."

  
"I'm making curry as we speak."

  
"Sounds good. Save me some!" Zen sent a winking emoticon.

  
"Lol. Thanks for the good information."

  
Yuki felt a little calmer now. The familiar, savory aroma wafting through the apartment didn't hurt either. She popped open the rice cooker and scooped a big pile onto a plate, topping it with the finished curry. Yuki was glad that she and Zen had started talking more. At first she had assumed that he was flirting with her, but now it seemed that they were cultivating a real friendship. Yuki spooned a bite of curry into her mouth, making a very unladylike noise as the rich flavor spread over her tongue.

  
\---

  
Jaehee's eyes scanned the transcripts of earlier chat messages, and she frowned. Yuki and Zen's conversations teetered dangerously on the line between friendly and flirtatious, especially now that she had taken to calling him "Hyun." This was running a little too hot, too fast, and Jaehee felt that she should probably intervene if she wanted to prevent anything scandalous. She knew it was difficult to think about consequences when one's mind was clouded by fantasy and infatuation. Yuki needed to understand that such a relationship could be damaging not only to Zen's career, but to RFA's reputation.

  
Yuki rolled her brush in Galkyd and pressed it gently against the little plop of ultramarine, allowing the medium to pick up the pigments before she brushed the vibrant color onto the canvas. She squeezed pea-sized amounts of ivory black and titanium white onto her palette, and mashed the thick blobs together with her palette knife, creating a deep gray to blend into the blue. The oily scent of paint tickled Yuki's nose, and it was a comfort to her. She hadn't felt quite like herself the past couple of days, but as she pressed brush to canvas, the old Yuki came creeping back to her. It was hard for her to feel like herself when who she was was changing, but this would always be part of her. It would always bring her to exactly where she needed to be.

  
Yuki heard a muffled "ding" from across the room and set her brush in a jar of turpentine, wiping her hands on the paint-stained button-up shirt she wore before walking over to pick up her phone.

  
"Hello, Jaehee."

  
Jaehee realized that she couldn't just come out and say what was on her mind. This was a sensitive issue, and it needed to come up somewhat naturally. "Hello, Yuki. How are things going?"

  
"It's been kind of a weird day, to be honest."

  
"I agree."

  
"I'm just glad I have people to talk to about it. I feel like everything will be ok in the end."

  
"It seems like you and Zen are on friendly terms."

  
"I think so too."

  
"Do you think he's attractive?"

  
_What is this, like a 'go ask her if she likes me' kind of deal?_ "I'm not sure yet. I haven't known him for long."

  
"Just please be aware, a scandal could seriously harm Zen's career. It's best for him to avoid relationships for now."

 

_Who said anything about a relationship?_ "I'll admit that I like talking to him, but it's nothing like that~ Don't worry."

  
Jaehee breathed a sigh of relief. At least Yuki understood the situation. "I just want to see Zen be successful."

  
"Hyun will be thankful." There was that "Hyun" again.

  
"We can be his loyal fans together," Jaehee offered.

  
"I'll cheer with you."

  
"Well, I'll be off now. I need to feed the cat."

  
"It was nice talking to you ^^"

  
Yuki tilted her head. It kind of seemed like Jaehee had started the chat with the sole purpose of telling Yuki not to get involved with Zen. She didn't need to worry about that. Did their conversations really seem that flirtatious? _Maybe I should be more careful about what I say... I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea._ Yuki went back to her canvas, hoping to clear her mind once again.

  
\---

  
Yuki stood in the shower, trying in vain to scrub a stubborn dioxazine stain from her forearm. She hoped it would fade in time for the party. Walking around a fancy party with paint stains on one's skin didn't seem too professional to Yuki. _Maybe I should start wearing long sleeves and latex gloves when I paint..._ Despite all of the bizarre events of the past day, she was genuinely looking forward to the party, especially since she would finally get to meet everyone in person. She'd already sent several emails to potential guests: A photographer friend of V's, the romance novel club that Zen had suggested, and a group of competitive LOLOL players that Yoosung had emailed her about a couple of hours before.

  
Her shower finished, Yuki turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in a fluffy towel. She ran a comb through her hair, parting it so that it would dry correctly. Wondering if anyone was online, Yuki signed onto the RFA app and opened a new chat. Zen and Seven popped in almost immediately.

  
"Hyun, you're up pretty late."

  
"I usually am. Listen, I just read over the transcript of you and Jaehee's last conversation. What was that about?" _Oh shit. I hope he wasn't offended by any of that..._

  
"I think she's your fan." Yuki tried her hardest to play it cool.

  
"And you?"

  
"I'm your fan too." Zen couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Just my fan?

  
Seven could tell that Zen had taken a liking to Yuki, so he decided to stir the pot a little. "What type of guy do you like, Yuki?"

  
"I'm not really sure;;"

  
"Aww, c'mon Yuki. You're no fun." Seven decided to try a different tactic. "What kind of woman do you think Zen likes?"

  
_Probably an airheaded supermodel, if I know anything about men. Well, maybe that's not fair. He's actually a pretty nice guy. He probably wants a girl to match._ "A sensible woman."

  
Zen was struck by Yuki's accuracy. "I'm impressed, Yuki. That's exactly what I prefer. Unfortunately, I tend to attract the type of women who only care about looks. Not that I could date anyone right now, anyway. It kind of sucks, either way."

  
"I understand how you feel."

  
"I shouldn't be so ungrateful, though... It's all because of V that I'm here talking to you now."

  
"How did V help you?"

  
"A few years ago, I was involved in a pretty serious motorcycle accident. Luckily, V was nearby when it happened, and he was able to get help. If he hadn't been close by... I don't even want to think about it."

  
"Oh, god. I'm glad everything ended up being ok..."

  
"Me too, Yuki. We'll let you go now. What time do you have to teach tomorrow?"

  
"10:00. I have the same schedule on Mondays and Wednesdays, and Tuesdays and Thursdays."

  
"Oh, yeah. You should go sleep."

  
"Ok. Good night, Hyun."

  
After completing her nighttime routine, Yuki crawled into bed, only one thought on her mind: _So he really does like normal girls..._


	6. Landmine

\---

Yuki scooped the grassy green matcha powder into the small ceramic bowl, whisking it together with the steaming water, a rich, earthy aroma rising from the resulting froth. She cupped the bowl between her palms, and took a sip from it, the robust warmth spreading to the core of her body. Yuki had slept in a little later on this particular morning, unable to muster the willpower necessary to drag herself outside for a run, and she had to admit, remaining curled up in bed with a hot cup of tea, reading articles on Superallergic, was pretty damn awesome.

  
Yuki's phone vibrated, and her morning began in much the same way as it had the past couple of days.

  
"Hyun, good morning."

  
"Yuki, you're awake already? Did you sleep well?"

  
"I did. I just usually wake up early. Did you sleep ok?"

  
_She's so cute._ "Not bad. What are you up to, Yuki? Are you getting ready for work soon?"

  
"In a little bit. I was kind of bad this morning and stayed in bed instead of going for my run."

  
"That's actually kind of adorable."

  
_Adorable?_ Yuki sent a quick selfie, hair sticking out every which way, teacup in hand, encircled in a fortress of blankets. "Are you sure?"

  
Zen stared at the photo for a solid minute, smiling at Yuki, sleepy and snuggly, ceramic cup in her tiny hands. "I'm sure."

  
_Oh._ A little spark of electricity jolted through Yuki's body, her fingertips tingling.

  
It had been a nice little moment, until a photo of a fluffy, white cat appeared on the screen. "You know who's adorable? Elizabeth III."

  
Yuki rolled her eyes. _Cat mom._ "How childish..."

  
"And I'm out. I want to get a workout before I go to rehearsal."

  
"I'm leaving too;;"

  
The two exited quickly, leaving Jumin alone with the photo of Elizabeth.

  
As Yuki finished the final sip of her matcha, she received a private message from Zen. "I'm glad I got to talk to you this morning. I wish every morning could start as nicely as this one."

  
Yuki's cheeks grew pink, and a garbled screech escaped her throat. "I'm glad we got to talk too. I hope we get to talk again later today."

  
Zen read Yuki's message over and over, a soft smile on his lips. _This woman is gonna be the death of me._

  
\---

  
Yuki closed and locked her office door, stripping out of the old t-shirt and jeans she had worn to her second-year drawing studio, and changing into the skirt and blouse she had brought from home. Her class had been starting with soft pastels today, and Yuki had no desire to try and get cadmium red powder off of a white blouse. She opened the small refrigerator tucked under her desk and retrieved her lunch- leftovers from the night before, and popped the container of food into the microwave.

  
As Yuki shoveled the leftover curry rice into her mouth, her mind drifted back to that morning's conversation with Zen. Did he really think she was cute? Was he just being playful? If he did think she was cute, was it a fluffy bunny type of cute, or a "I want to kiss you" type of cute? Not that Yuki particularly cared one way or another; she just wanted to understand what Zen was thinking. Not being able to decipher a person's intentions was frustrating to Yuki. As if sensing her confusion, Yuki's phone vibrated loudly on her wooden desk.

  
"Hyun, you're here."

  
"Yuki, have you eaten lunch yet?"

  
"I'm eating now." Yuki sent a picture of her remaining food, evidence of her good behavior.

  
Zen replied with a picture of his own smiling face. "Good girl."

  
Yuki almost choked on a clump of rice, and spent a few moments hacking and wheezing and beating her palm on the desk, making such a racket that Kat, the photography professor next door, poked her head in to confirm that Yuki wasn't dying.

  
"Handsome~," Yuki responded, providing a much duller reaction online than in person.

  
_Do you really think so?_ Unfortunately, Zen didn't have time to gauge Yuki's feelings, as his brief lunch break was ending and the director was calling him back to run lines. He groaned quietly, desperate for more time with the young woman. "Oh, I've got to get going now."

  
"Aww, so soon?" Yuki's curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she had decided to play along with Zen's flirtation until she could discern his true motives. That said, she couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit disappointed.

  
"Unfortunately. I have to get back to rehearsal."

  
"Ok then. I'll talk to you later."

  
Yuki wasn't left alone for long, as Jaehee joined her in the chatroom shortly after.

  
"Jaehee, good to see you~ Zen was just here."

  
"It's good to see you too, Yuki. Are you taking your lunch now?""

  
"Yes, I currently have office hours."

  
Yuki was about to ask Jaehee if she had any ideas of who to invite to the party, when Yoosung joined the chat.

  
"Yoosung, you're here~"

  
"Are you both having a good day?"

  
"Mr. Han picks up his cat tonight, so I'd say so."

  
"I'm having a good day too. What is happening in your world, Yoosung?"

  
"I finally leveled up enough to get this exclusive armor for my LOLOL avator!" Yoosung sent an accompanying image of an angry-looking CGI character with huge muscles and a long beard. "It's so cool! Which do you think is cooler, Yuki? The avatar or that picture of Zen?" Yoosung had spoken with Seven, and had also elected to stir the pot.

  
Yuki was on the spot. "Why do you ask?"

  
"Just curious."

  
"Well, the photo of Hyun is more handsome..."

  
"Is that your final answer?"

  
Yuki sighed. "Yes."

  
Thankfully, Jaehee stepped in to save Yuki from embarrassment. "I think the photo is handsome too. It reminds me of one of Zen's earlier performances. I have a DVD if you want to see it sometime, Yuki."

  
"I'd like to."

  
"I think I might save this photo..."

  
"The photo of Hyun?"

  
"Or my LOLOL avatar?"

  
Yuki cracked a sideways grin. "There's no way Jaehee's going to take a photo of your avatar."

  
An animated emoticon of a crying chibi-Yoosung appeared in the chat.

  
"Ok, maybe that was a little mean. I'm sorry."

  
A smiling emoticon replaced the sad one.

  
"Jaehee, you must really like Hyun~ lol." Yuki was beginning to suspect that Jaehee's warnings might not necessarily be coming from a place of objectivity, but she was willing to be patient.

  
"Please don't misunderstand, Yuki."

  
"You like his acting and photos of him," Yuki clarified.

  
Yuki's burning suspicions crawled up the back of Jaehee's neck. Desperate, she searched for a different topic of conversation. "I've been doing a little research regarding who we should invite to the party, and I've found a jewelry artist whose bracelets have become popular recently."

  
"We should invite her to the party."

  
"I had an idea for party guests too."

  
"Tell me."

  
"Well, there's this club for students who are gifted enough to be accepted to college at an earlier age than normal. Maybe they'd be good," Yoosung offered.

  
"Let's go for it! I'm glad everyone is coming up with good ideas. I think the party will be really successful! I need to go now. I have some preparations to make for my next class."

  
Yuki exited the chat, setting her phone down on the desk. She knit her fingers together, resting her chin on top of them, her brow furrowed. _Does Jaehee have feelings for Hyun? I feel like I've stepped on a landmine._ _I just have to hope everything doesn't blow up in my face._

  
\---

  
The familiar, comforting scent of cheap coffee floated through the painting studio, mingling with the sharp odor of turpentine and the stank of linseed oil. The drip coffee maker on the counter in the corner of the room growled to a stop, churning out the last spurts of its bitter brew. The third-year students lined up with mugs in hand, looking much like soldiers returning from the front lines for their evening ration. For the second-semester third-years, portfolio review was coming up, and it was likely that sleep had become a rare commodity at this point in the semester. This crappy cup of coffee was all they had. A defeated-looking student returned from his quick trip across the street to HMS for Turpenoid, smelling a bit more like whiskey than before.

  
At least they were quiet. At the beginning of the semester, they had been rather rambunctious and talkative, but now they focused intently on their work, their self-worth hinging on the upcoming review. Yuki settled herself on the worn sofa at the back of the room, taking a sip of her own crappy cup of coffee. Her phone vibrated with a photo message.

  
_If it's a dick pic I'm throwing this phone out the window._ Fortunately, Zen's selfie was fully-clothed, smiling and holding up a peace sign, accompanied by the caption "Heading home!"

  
Yuki opened a new chat, eager for something to distract her from the dreary atmosphere of the studio. "Hyun, hello."

  
"Babe! I'm glad you're on!" _B-babe?!_ "Are you in class right now?"

  
Yuki sent a picture of the studio, which somehow looked like a colorized photo of a long-past war. "Yeah, I'm braving the zombie apocalypse."

  
Zen laughed. "Pretty funny, Yuki."

  
"I guess you're out of rehearsal?"

  
"Yep. On the train now. I got a call from my agent earlier. Apparently a clothing company wants me to model for them..."

  
"Is that good?"

  
"Career-wise, I guess so. I just don't want people to focus on my looks more than my acting ability."

  
"I see. Maybe they want you to model for them since you're so handsome."

  
"You...think I'm handsome?" _Fuck fuck fuck._

  
Yuki tried to be matter-of-fact about things. "Well, seeing as I'm not blind... Have I done a sufficient job stroking your ego?"

  
Yuki's wording put a very raunchy thought into Zen's mind. _If you like, I've got something else you can stroke... Oh, that's wrong..._ Zen shook his head, trying to shove the idea back into the dark hole out of which it had crawled.

  
As Zen was trying to clean up his thoughts, Jaehee entered the chat. "Hello, Jaehee," Yuki greeted her.

  
"Hello, Yuki, Zen."

  
"I'm still laughing about Yoosung's avatar from earlier. He really thought Jaehee would save it over my picture." On opposite sides of the city, Yuki and Jaehee both rolled their eyes simultaneously.

 

"Maybe if he got a girlfriend, he wouldn't play games as much."

  
"I guess you focus more on women than hobbies, Hyun."

  
"Well, not so much, since I'm not supposed to date anyone. Scandals and everything."

  
"It would also be difficult for you to date at this point in your career. You'd be too busy, trying to juggle your acting jobs and a girlfriend."

  
Yuki raised an eyebrow. She didn't exactly agree. "I don't think it's necessarily bad to be busy. Both career and love are important, I think. If you can pursue your career and still make time for someone you care about, it's the best of both worlds."

  
"I suppose that's true..."

  
"As for the scandal aspect, I guess I could date in secret."

  
"I don't really think that's best..."

  
"I have to agree with Jaehee on this one. That would be really hard on both people."

  
Zen frowned. _So I really can't win..._

  
"I need to go now. I need to make sure I'm at home when Mr. Han comes to pick up his cat."

  
"See you later, Jaehee."

  
Zen was quiet.

  
"Hyun, are you ok? You didn't say goodbye to Jaehee."

  
"I'm just frustrated. I wish she wouldn't interfere so much."

  
"I think Jaehee just really wants you to be successful. She means well."

  
"I know. I just wish everyone would trust me to make my own decisions." Zen hadn't thought about it too much before, but the spark that had been ignited in him forced him to reconsider.

  
"I can understand that."

  
"Oh, I have some guests for you."

  
"Oh good. What did you find?"

  
"It's a women's club. They visit museums and other cultural events."

  
"I'll invite them."

  
Zen was feeling a little vulnerable, so he sent Yuki another picture, hoping for some encouragement. "From the gym this morning."

  
Yuki enlarged the picture, gazing intently at the man. _Nobody should look that good after a workout._ "You look better than a model!"

  
Zen cast his line out, trying to catch as many compliments as possible. "Do you really think so?"

  
Yuki snorted. She knew exactly what Zen was up to, and, knowing that he was feeling a bit down, she played along. "Why do you have to be so selfish and look so handsome?" She took a quick picture of herself, a soft pout on her lips.

  
"Why do you have to be so selfish and look so cute?" Yuki covered her eyes with her free hand, a hot blush spreading across her cheeks. _Damn you, Hyun Ryu._ "Oh, I'm almost to my stop. I wish I didn't have to go, but I'll talk to you later tonight."

  
"Ok. Goodbye, Hyun."

  
Yuki chugged down the rest of her coffee, which had started to go cold. She grimaced at the bitter taste, normally dulled by the heat. Her mind drifted back to Zen. What was happening between them? Yuki honestly did not know. It really seemed like he was flirting, but wasn't that just how he tended to interact with women? _He called me "Babe..." What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ Yuki couldn't deny that she was attracted to him, that she felt a little tingly when he complimented her, but she was hesitant. She didn't want to end up playing herself, misinterpreting Zen's friendliness. She started another pot of coffee, the low hum of the appliance breaking the silence. 19 heads snapped up in unison.

  
\---

  
Yuki emptied the packet of miso into the bowl of boiling water, the rice cooker beeping behind her. She laid out her dinner on the table; grilled fish purchased on the way home, a bowl of miso soup, a cup of rice, a beer. _Itadakimasu._

  
Two and a half beers later, Yuki was a little too engrossed in the over-the-top drama on television. Would the rich CEO get the working-class girl to fall in love with him? Would he be forced to marry the woman that his father had selected for him? Yuki didn't know. Her buzz growing, she hopped on the RFA app, looking to see if anyone was online.

  
"Hiya, Jaehee, Yoosung."

  
Jaehee responded with a photo of a couch. "Do you know what that is, Yuki? It's a couch that is no longer occupied by a cat."

  
"Hooray!!"

  
"Now I just need to lint-roll my entire apartment."

  
"Eeeeeuuughhh," Zen chimed in as he signed on.

  
"Hello, Hyun~" Yuki gulped down the rest of her beer, bringing her kill-count to three.

  
"I knew we'd be able to talk again!" Yuki couldn't help but smile.

  
"What is everyone doing?"

  
Yoosung sent the crying emoticon again. "I have a huge test tomorrow, and I'm not ready at all! I wish someone could come to my apartment to lock me in my room and force me to study!"

  
"Wouldn't it feel as if you're under someone's control?"

  
"Hey man, whatever tickles your pickle." Yuki's filter had flown out the window. "Hyun, have you ever acted out a situation where you were locked up?"

  
Zen very nearly choked on the water he was sipping. Yuki! He was a little shocked that she would ask a question like that. _Are you drinking vodka again?_

  
Right on cue, Jaehee sent a photo of Zen on stage, hands bound with rope, shirt open, revealing his muscular body. Yuki's eyes widened. _Woof._

  
"lololololol what is that?? lololololol"

  
"It's from a play that Zen was in. It was titled 'The Jalapeno Topping Was Pretty Spicy.'"

  
"lololololololol I want to see that play." _Yeah, she has to be drunk._

  
"We can watch it together sometime, and maybe his next play too."

  
"Sounds like a good plan."

  
"Well, I'm going to go now. I want to clean up this cat hair. It's driving me crazy."

  
"I need to go study."

  
"Good luck, you two."

  
"I have to ask, how drunk are you right now, Yuki?" _Is it really that obvious?_

  
"Three beers."

  
"Ha! I knew it!" Zen was pretty satisfied with himself.

  
"How did you know?"

  
"Two words: No. Filter. And you 'lol' a lot more."

  
"Oops. I guess I was pretty uninhibited..."

  
"Do you really care that much about looks?"

  
"Not really. It's more about personality for me. However, I studied art. I appreciate aesthetic beauty. It's just not the most important factor."

  
Relief washed over Zen. "That's what I thought."

  
"Maybe we should invite the model agency that's scouting you for that clothing company. You might not want to work for them, but they might be good for charity purposes."

  
"To the party, you mean?"

  
"If you're comfortable with that, of course."

  
"That's a pretty smart idea. Let's do it."

  
"I'll contact them."

  
"What are you planning on doing for the rest of the evening?"

  
"I'm probably going to try to paint once I sober up a little."

  
"I want to see your paintings sometime."

  
"Really?"

  
"Of course, Babe." Yuki's skin prickled and a high-pitched giggle escaped her lips.

  
"I'm blushing..." _Oh god, why did I say that? Jaehee is going to rip me a new one if she reads this._

  
_Oh god, she's so cute._ "Show me."

  
"Fat chance."

  
"Mean Yuki."

  
"Have you eaten yet?"

  
"I'm waiting on delivery now."

  
"Oh, you're eating late! I'll let you go now."

  
"Ok. You make sure to have dinner too."

  
"I did."

  
"Good girl. I'll talk to you later, Yuki. Good night."

  
"Good night, Hyun."

  
Yuki signed off, and turned her attention back to the TV. The drama had ended, and the nighttime news had started. Yuki opened a window, at sat in front of it, lighting a cigarette to calm her racing thoughts. _This really takes the cake for the weirdest week ever._ She leaned her face out the window just enough to blow her smoke outside, watching as it curled and twisted on the slight breeze, gradually fading into the night.

 


	7. Ignition

\---

Their mouths collided, teeth clacking together shamelessly. Eyes fluttered closed as a mouth met a jugular with a vulgar smacking sound. Zen's hand snaked up her shirt and a low, breathy groan escaped her. Soft breasts met sturdy muscles and the couple's soft moans could barely be heard over the wet slapping of skin on skin.

  
_PING!_

  
Yuki's eyes snapped open, her perverse subconscious receding as her more sensible conscious mind took over. Bed-linens had tangled themselves around her limbs and one of her pillows had somehow made it to second base during the night. Her brain beginning to process the last wisps of her nighttime vision, Yuki's face grew hot. _S-shit._ Another secret to take to the grave.

  
Pushing her early morning guilt aside, Yuki checked the time on her phone, noticing the chat notification that had jolted her awake. It was only 7:00, but the day had already started for Jaehee and Jumin.

  
"Hello, Jaehee."

  
"Good morning, Yuki. Can you believe what Seven did?"

  
"Am I missing something?" Yuki had passed out around 1:00 am, and it seemed that she was now a bit behind.

  
"Yoosung drank coffee to try and stay awake to study, and Seven convinced him that he had a disease that would cause him to faint if he drank anything with caffeine in it. He claimed the only way to avoid fainting was to drink a lot of chocolate milk."

  
"Oh no! I feel bad for Yoosung! How much chocolate milk did he drink?"

  
"At least 2 liters."

  
"Yoosung should know better by now than to blindly trust everything that Seven says," Jumin commented.

  
"Jumin, did you get back from Japan ok?"

  
"Everything went fine. Thank you for asking. I had a very productive meeting with the Japanese executives."

  
"Why don't we invite them to the party?"

  
"That's not a bad idea. It seems you've been transitioning into your new role rather smoothly."

  
"Mr. Han, will you be coming into the office today, or will I be doing your job for you?"

 

_Yikes._ "How hard did you make her work for her to say that?"

  
"I need to stay home with Elizabeth today. It's always a bit difficult for her when I go out of town."

  
"You really like that cat...;;" _I bet that cat is just fine. If either of them struggles with being away, it's Jumin._

  
Jaehee sent a frustrated emoticon. It seemed like she had to do that a lot.

  
"Cheer up, Jaehee."

  
It wasn't until Jumin signed off that she shared her true feelings about the situation. "Sometimes it seems like he's never going to really respect me."

  
"Don't say things like that. Everything will work out."

  
"You're probably right. I'll be going now. It's time for me to leave for the office."

  
Yuki shut off her phone and rolled over, hoping to catch a couple more hours of sleep, but the universe had other plans for her. An exasperated growl rolled from her throat when she heard her phone vibrating on the nightstand, then died out when Zen's picture lit up the screen.

  
"Babe!" Yuki's mind drifted back to the dreamt rendezvous, and she couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed.

  
"Good morning, Hyun." Yuki's voice came out throatier than normal, as it sometimes did when she first awakened.

  
"Oh, you still sound sleepy. I didn't wake you, did I?"

  
"No, no. I woke up a little bit ago when Jaehee and Jumin were in the chat room."

  
"Talking to Jumin is not how I'd want to start my day, that jerk."

  
"Well, I'm already feeling better talking to you." Yuki chuckled softly.

  
"Oh, Yuki, you're so cute."

  
"Do you really think so?"

  
Zen did. He really did. He was definitely starting to feel something for Yuki, even if those feelings were still amorphous, having yet to blossom into anything easily describable. "...Yes."

  
Yuki was quiet, Jaehee's warnings pounding in her ears. Yes, the spark was definitely there, but Yuki was unsure whether she should allow it to truly ignite inside of her. _Something sure ignited in my sleeping mind..._ She decided it was best to change the subject for now. "Did you sleep well?"

  
"Yes, I did my very best to visit you in my dreams. Did it work?"

  
"I think it did." Yuki could hear Zen's breath hitch on the other end.

  
Zen swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry. "Oh?" he asked, heart beating a little faster than before.

  
_Shit._ "I don't remember too much, it's really foggy," Yuki lied.

  
"I'll try to be more memorable tonight."

  
_Please don't. I'm not sure I can handle much more..._

  
"Are you going for your run this morning, or are you planning on staying in bed?"

  
"I'm definitely gonna go this morning, since I skipped yesterday. At 25, I should be able to have SOME discipline."

  
"I keep forgetting that you're two years older than me."

  
"When you meet me in person and see these eye bags, then you will realize."

  
"I'm sure you'll be beautiful. I can't wait to meet you at the party..."

  
"I'm excited too. I wanna see if you're as handsome in person as you are in your photos."

  
"Babe, I'm more handsome in person."

  
"Oh, I might die."

  
"Please don't do that."

  
"Now THAT would be bad for your reputation."

  
\---

  
Yuki traced the makeup pencil across her eyebrows, permanently thin from too much plucking in her adolescence. Satisfied with their shape, she dabbed them lightly with translucent powder, setting them for the day. As she started the arduous process of applying her eye makeup, Yuki's mind strayed back to everything that had already happened that morning. It was barely 10:00 am on a Thursday and Zen, a man she'd scarcely known for four days, had her careening swiftly toward cardiac arrest. _I... really think I might like him..._ Wasn't liking someone supposed to be a good thing? In this case, Yuki really wasn't sure.

  
First, she still was unable to confirm that Zen returned her feelings. It was possible that he was just flirtatious by nature, and she was misreading the situation entirely. Second, Jaehee had emphasized, over and over, why getting involved with that man wouldn't be appropriate. Yuki had assured her that she had nothing to worry about, and she felt sick at the idea of going back on her word, and giving Jaehee reason to distrust her. Then again, maybe Yuki was over-analyzing everything. Then again, maybe not.

  
As she dusted MARS "Climax" blush onto the apples of her cheeks, Yuki's phone lit up with a new chat. When she saw V's name on the screen, she was quickly reminded that there were more important things currently happening than liking some dumb boy.

  
"V, you're online."

  
"Yuki, you've been active this morning. Make sure to take time for yourself, ok?"

  
"I will, V. Thank you for always thinking of everyone."

  
"Hi Yuki!" Yoosung greeted her cheerfully as he entered the chatroom, plainly ignoring V."

  
"Hello Yoosung."

  
"Yuki, are you feeling ok about the progress of planning the party? You're not feeling too much pressure?"

  
"It's fine, V. I've been exchanging emails with a lot of people who are interested in attending. I think the party will be a big success."

  
"Planning a party like nothing ever happened... It's like you don't even care about what happened to Rika!"

  
_Oh boy, here we go. Are we gonna need to have a come-to-Jesus moment today?_ "Yoosung, you should calm down a bit."

  
"We shouldn't do this without at least acknowledging what we've been through over the past year-and-a-half."

  
"Yoosung does have a point there."

  
"I don't want to gloss over what happened, but I do think that Rika would want us to have the party again. In the end, it's for a good cause. Even if it hurts to remember her, we should keep going."

  
"I think deep in his heart, Yoosung understands."

  
"I have to go now. Good luck with the planning."

  
"It makes me sad, planning the party without Rika."

  
"Cheer up. It's good that we're able to have the party again."

  
Yoosung was quiet for a few moments. "I guess you're right. Don't overwork yourself, ok?"

  
"I'll be fine. We can all try hard together."

  
"I'll talk to you later, Yuki."

  
"Ok, good luck on your test!"

  
Yuki shut off her phone, frowning. RFA seemed to attract a very specific type of person. Everyone here was simply unable to deal with their problems in an emotionally mature manner. _After the party is over, you all need a come-to-Jesus talk._

  
\---

  
"I know your current project isn't due until Tuesday, but I'm going to go ahead and hand out your next project sheet so you can be thinking about it over the weekend. I'm also passing out a short reading to go along with it. Read and reflect on it, and start writing down ideas and working in your sketchbooks. I'll be checking your progress before critique on Tuesday, so come prepared!"

  
The second-year painting students took a moment to look over the Non-Figurative Self-Portrait project, briefly silent before showering Yuki with myriad dumb questions. "How can you make a self-portrait without using figures?" "What if I just do part of a figure?" "What does 'non-figurative' mean?"

  
"This is why I'm giving you the assignment ahead of time. You have brains in your heads. Use them. I'll be walking around soon to check the progress of your current projects. They should be close to finished. Please continue to use your time wisely."

  
Yuki assumed her regular perch on the studio couch, tucking her legs underneath her and taking a swig of her tea. She answered a handful of emails from party guests before logging on to a new chatroom. The corners of her mouth tweaked upward when Zen joined her almost immediately.

  
"Hyun~"

  
"Babe! I saw the posters today for my current project! What do you think?" A photo of Zen, open-shirted and dressed as the masked crusader, Zorro, accompanied the message.

  
_Got damn._ "It's a serious problem. What do we do? Everyone's eyes will freeze."

  
The flirty moment was lost when Jaehee joined them.

  
"Hello, Jaehee."

  
"Hello Yuki, Zen. So the posters came out today? They look good!"

  
"I'm going to save it ^^"

  
"I will do the same. Perhaps we can get physical copies at the performance."

  
"Now I know the true meaning of beauty lol"

  
"I'd like to stay and chat, but I need to go for a workout now. I have to stay in shape for the performance." _And for the party. I want to look my best for Yuki._

  
"Beautiful Hyun, have a good workout and see you later."

  
"I need to get back to work as well. I just wanted to log on long enough to see what was happening with everyone."

  
"Do your best, Jaehee!"

  
Yuki took another big gulp of tea and stood up, making her way to the closest easel. "Oh, this is really coming along."

  
\---  
Yuki pushed up the sleeves of her thickly-knit, mustard-colored sweater. Despite the frigid temperature outside, the apartment was toasty. Yuki waited impatiently for the rice cooker to finish, hungry for the ox bone soup that the rice would accompany. She'd picked up the soup on the way home, wanting a warm, savory dinner to finish up the chilly day.

  
She was just sitting down to eat when a new photo message popped up. Zen had sent a picture of his sashimi dinner with the caption: "Make sure to eat a good dinner!" Yuki sent a photo back of her meal. "Hot soup for a cold night!"

  
"Is that ox bone soup? Looks tasty, but it seems my favorite dish didn't make it into the picture."

  
Yuki rolled her eyes at the cheesy line, and sent back a smirking selfie.

  
"There she is! You look cute in a sweater! I want to give you a warm hug~"

  
Yuki felt the color rising in her cheeks. "I'll make sure you give me one at the party!"

  
"Maybe I'll give you a kiss too..."

  
Yuki smacked herself in the face. She didn't quite know how to respond to that one. Luckily, a new chat notification buzzed in, saving her.

  
"I'm going to join the new chat. You should come too." She exited the private messenger and opened the group chat.

  
"Yoosung, it's a good evening~"

  
"Yuki, hi! I've decided to give up playing LOLOL so that I have more time for other things, like school."

  
Zen was skeptical. "We'll see how that goes..."

  
"Good luck ^^;"

  
"Good evening everyone," Jaehee chimed in.

  
"It's getting busy in here~"

  
"I'm not sure quitting cold-turkey is the best way to give something up. It's easier if you go slowly."

  
"That might be true."

  
"Oh, Yuki. I've found a music group that we could potentially invite to the party. It's a group of grandfathers that perform traditional music."

  
"Let's send them an invitation. Everyone, great job thinking of guests for the party! Let's keep doing our best together~"

  
Jaehee smiled. Yuki was a nice person. Maybe a little misguided at times, but kind and helpful. "Yuki, great job coordinating the guest list. I hope all of your hard work pays off next week."

  
"Thank you, Jaehee. It means a lot to me that you would say that. I'm going to go now so that I can eat dinner before it gets cold."

  
A warm feeling grew in Yuki's chest. Truth be told, she was kind of glad that Unknown had picked her as the random proxy. She had grown so close to these people so quickly, even if they were a bit chemically-imbalanced. She was proud to be a part of RFA, and she was proud to have the other members as her friends.

  
\---

  
Yuki dipped her brush in the container of turpenoid, pressing it against the rim to squeeze out the extra liquid. She made soft little strokes between the two fields of color, gradually creating a gradient between them. A couple of small drips of tinted turpenoid escaped and slid a few inches down the canvas, but Yuki was unconcerned. These little happy accidents were part of her process, and had long ago been accepted as part of her personal aesthetic.

  
Yuki selected a tube of metallic silver paint next, and squeezed a pea-sized dab onto her palette. She plucked a fine liner brush from her collection, and loaded it with the shimmering pigment. She scattered a multitude of tiny points across the canvas, like so many glittering stars.

  
Having found a good stopping-point, Yuki elected to have a seat and take a short break. Nighttime had settled over the city, but that did not concern Yuki, as Friday held nothing in particular for her. No classes, no office hours, just a glorious extra day to relax.

  
Knowing the unlikelihood of her being the only one awake, and feeling a bit chatty, Yuki started a new conversation.

  
"It's starting to get late, Hyun."

  
"It's weird, Yuki. It says Yoosung's online too, but he's not saying anything."

  
"I bet he's playing games, lol."

  
"I thought he said he was quitting."

  
"Do you really think he can escape the evil plans of LOLOL so easily?"

  
Yoosung sent an angry emoticon then, as if to say "Heard you were talking shit."

  
"Speak of the devil!"

  
A cheerful-looking 707 emoticon popped up next.

  
"Seven's suddenly here!"

  
"I heard that LOLOL is having a special event with exclusive items today only." 707, up to his old schemes.

  
"Stop teasing Yoosung!" As much as Yuki believed that it would be almost-impossible for Yoosung to give up video games, she did want him to succeed. Yoosung was naive enough to check to see if "gullible" was written on the ceiling, and Yuki'd be damned if she was going to let Seven trick him into playing himself.

  
"Teasing? I'm only trying to tell him about a limited-time offer! He should be grateful!"

  
"What kind of logic is that?"

  
"He's missing out!"

  
"So petty..."

  
"Yoosung is naive, so you shouldn't take advantage of him," Zen criticized.

  
"I'm innocent!" As if to prove a point, Seven sent a photo of himself dressed in a nun's habit. It was mildly disturbing.

  
"Photo of a hypocrite."

  
"Follow me, and your soul will be cleansed~"

  
"lmfaooooooooo"

  
"I'm going now, so that Seven can't try to trick me anymore!"

  
"Block his number."

  
"I'll use snail mail!"

  
"-_-"

  
"Oh come on, y'know you love me."

  
"So childish."

  
"Fine, I'll go then. I can tell when I'm not wanted!" Seven whined facetiously.

  
"Hyun, are you going to stay here?" Yuki asked, ignoring Seven's tantrum.

  
"I might go soon. I'm a little tired. You should try to sleep soon too."

  
"I appreciate your concern, but to be honest I'll probably stay up late. I don't have to go to work tomorrow, so I can stay up to paint and then sleep in."

  
"Just make sure you get enough sleep, ok? You have to stay healthy so that I can meet you at the party!"

  
"I'll be there, don't worry~"

  
"Good night, beautiful Yuki."

  
"Good night, lovely Hyun."

  
Yuki dropped her phone on the bed. Her skin tingled with a jolt of electricity. The spark had ignited into a small flame. She flicked through the pictures Zen had sent, her lips curling into a little smile. If she'd ever seen a more beautiful man, she certainly couldn't recall it now.

  
_Ah! No time for googly eyes now. I've got to get back to work!_

  
\---

  
Jaehee wanted to trust Yuki. She really, truly did. However, it seemed that Yuki had chosen to not heed her advice. The coquettish nature of her and Zen's conversations had only escalated since Jaehee had interfered the first time. She decided to test the waters, and placed a phone call to Yuki.

  
"Good evening, Jaehee... Are you watching DVDs of Hyun, by any chance?" _Again with the "Hyun" business!_

  
"Not currently. Why do you ask?"

  
"I was only guessing."

  
"Listen, Yuki, I know I must sound like a broken record, but the way you talk with Zen... You're moving into dangerous territory. I must reiterate: you should not get involved with him. It will only cause problems for the two of you."

  
Yuki ran her hand through her hair. Why did it seem like Jaehee was the only one concerned about this? Was is because as a fan, she had a different perspective than everyone else? Or...? "Do you like Hyun, Jaehee?"

  
Jaehee froze. She had not expected Yuki to turn this back around on her. "I am merely his fan. I like his acting. I like his singing. I like seeing him try hard."

  
"I like seeing Hyun try hard too."

  
"He is an excellent performer."

  
"I'd like to see his performances live one day."

  
"You must go only as a fan."

  
"Isn't it better to be honest?" _So she does have feelings for him._

  
"Not if the truth is harmful." _Please, Yuki, trust me. Take my advice._

  
"I hope everything goes well for Hyun. I'm fully supporting him."

  
"I am too, but I'm afraid our definitions of 'support' are different."

  
Yuki wasn't sure what to say. She couldn't just tell Jaehee flat out how she felt, but she knew that lying would only make things worse, and shatter Jaehee's trust when she inevitably discovered the truth. "I will do what I can to make sure Hyun's reputation isn't damaged."

  
"Thank you, Yuki. Good night."

  
"Good night."

  
Yuki hung up the phone, heaving a deep sigh. She didn't want to be angry with Jaehee, and she didn't want Jaehee to be angry with her. At the same time, Yuki yearned for the opportunity to explore her feelings without feeling guilty. She felt that Zen deserved the opportunity to find love as much as anyone. _If having a relationship is considered scandalous...isn't it our expectations of celebrities that are warped? If someone finds a person that makes them happy, shouldn't we cheer for them? Or am I just being selfish?_

  
\---

  
A smear of pale pink streaked across the morning sky, and the first sparrow of the day began its song. Yuki stifled a deep yawn, brushing the last field of color onto the canvas. It still had a long way to go before it was finished, but it was a good start, at least.

  
The foamy residue of Yuki's face wash gurgled down the sink drain, mingling with toothpaste spit. Her abbreviated bedtime routine complete, Yuki shimmied down under the comforter, just in time for her phone to ping, alerting her of a new chat session. _Might as well._

  
"Yuki, are you still awake? We both stayed up all night!"

  
"I want to see Hyun...lolol."

  
Seven sent a screenshot of Zen's debut video. "Remember this??"

  
Yuki suddenly flashed back to a forgotten memory of her high school days.

  
_Young Yuki lounged about in her childhood bedroom, accompanied by her two closest companions, Machiko and Kazue. Machiko, who had commandeered Yuki's computer to check an email account, let out a groan of exasperation. "Kazue, it got me too!"_

  
_Yuki found herself lost. "Eh? What got you?" she asked, confused._

  
_"You haven't gotten that email that's been spamming everyone? With the video?"_

  
_"I don't know, I don't check my email that often..." Yuki, unbothered, continued looking at the fashion magazine that had occupied the past half-hour._

  
_Kazue proceeded to explain. "So there's been this email going around with a video of this guy's- I guess it's supposed to be his debut video? Anyway it's just samples of this 15-year-old kid singing and acting. Look!"_

  
_Yuki lowered her magazine to look at the silver-haired boy on the screen. "He's got a decent voice I guess, but I can see why it'd get annoying..."_

  
_"He's not bad-looking though, Machiko mused. "Do you think he's cute, Yuki?"_

  
_Yuki took another look, then smirked. "No way. He's dorky-looking! And what's with the ponytail?!"_

  
Present Yuki was dumbfounded, finally understanding exactly what had happened. "You sent that email all those years ago!"

  
"Clever girl."

  
"Omg look at the views..."

  
"Did you see the video back then?"

  
"Yeah, I saw it." Yuki shook her head, completely shocked at the strange coincidence. Then again, 90% of East Asia had seen that video. It wasn't really all that unlikely...just humorous.

  
"You know, Zen's changed since you've been here. In the past, he rarely logged on, but now he's here all the time."

  
"Is it really because of me?"

  
"I think so. He used to seem like such a lonely person, but I think he's less lonely now."

  
"I want to meet him soon..."

  
As if on cue, Yuki's phone started vibrating with an incoming call.

  
"Hyun~ I really missed you! I almost died!"

  
"Yuki! I thought you were going to sleep in..."

  
"I am. I haven't gone to bed yet."

  
"Are you going to go to bed soon?"

  
"Yes~"

  
"It's important that you take care of yourself."

  
"I will, lovely Hyun~"

  
"Yuki, do you think I'm handsome?" _There he goes, fishing for compliments again..._

  
She indulged him. "I seriously think you're the hottest guy in the world..."

  
"I just hope I can be a successful actor. I want to make you proud of me."

  
"You have natural talent and amazing looks...plus, you try hard. You'll succeed for sure." _Yuki...my heart's beating so fast..._

  
"You're so sweet Yuki. Sleep well."

  
"I hope you have a great day, Hyun."

  
Yuki set the phone down on the nightstand and closed her eyes, eager to fall asleep so that she could find Zen in her dreams and pick up where they had left off the night before.


	8. Rising Stars and Supernovas

The bouncy, upbeat song by Austrian Archdukes shattered the 10:30 am silence, and Yuki's eyes fluttered open. Four hours of sleep wasn't much to go on, but Friday made few demands of her. Friday meant switching out her regular run for a group yoga class, and Yuki hoped to avoid falling asleep during savasana or guided meditation. She rolled out of bed, her feet hitting the floor with a soft _pap_. Yuki rifled through her bag of clothes, digging out a pair of leggings and a loose tank top. As she dressed herself, she made a mental list of how she wanted to spend her day: 1.) Yoga Class, 2.) Talk to Zen, 3.) Tidy Up, 4.) Paint... She stepped into a pair of canvas slip-on shoes and grabbed her mat before leaving for the morning.

  
Yuki exhaled, settling into Warrior I. For the first time that week, her mind was a blank slate, save for the occasional flash of _Ugh, boob sweat._ She never felt more at peace than during this glorious hour and a half every Friday morning. It wasn't that Yuki walked around in a constant haze of anxiety, or that she was unhappy with her life, but this class forced her to be fully present, no matter how briefly. In these moments, she felt deeply connected to the universe, and fully grateful for her place in it.

  
Back at home, Yuki dunked a green tea bag into a cup of hot water, preparing a beverage to accompany her bowl of oatmeal. She savored the period of quietude, taking some time to read some selections from an anthology of art criticism as she enjoyed her meal. She had just finished marking up an essay on the idea of "looking" when her phone began to vibrate, bringing her back into a world where she functioned as part of a unit, rather than as an individual. It seemed that she could now check item #2 off of her mental list.

  
"Hyun! I missed you so much!"

  
"Yuki! You're not going to believe it!"

  
Yuki cocked her head to the side. "Why, did something good happen?"

  
"Do you remember that audition I told you about before? My agent just called me. I've been offered the role!"

  
Yuki let out a little squeal of delight. "Ehh?! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!"

  
"Not to mention, the other lead role is going to be played by Echo Girl!"

  
"I apologize, I don't think I've heard of her. Is she an idol?"

  
"She's a singer on a very popular television show right now. She has a lot of fans."

  
"Oh, I see. If you perform in a show with her, you might get even more famous!"

  
"I'll have to start working with her soon. She may be popular, but I'll always like you best. I hope you know that."

  
"I'm a bit jealous, but I hope everything goes well for you!"

  
"I'm glad you're as excited as I am." _When you cheer for me, it makes me want to work even harder._

  
"Of course." _Always do your best! I'll be here cheering for you!_

  
"I only have five days to learn lines before rehearsals start."

  
"Isn't that right before the party?"

  
"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten." Zen could scarcely wait for the next week to pass. _Only six more days until I can hold you in my arms._ "Unfortunately, I'm going to have to turn down the other role I accepted. I feel a little bad."

  
"Cheer up! I'm here for you, Hyun."

  
Every time they spoke, it only served to stoke the flame burning inside Yuki. She knew what Jaehee had said, but Yuki refused to believe that there wasn't a way for them to make it work. _Everything happens for a reason._ She did feel a little silly, having developed these kinds of feelings so quickly, but there were no regrets.

  
"I can't wait to meet you next week."

  
"I don't know if I can wait. I might have to hunt you down before then."

  
"Are you going to torture Seven until he tells you where the apartment is?"

  
"No, I'll just drop in on one of your classes. I know where you teach, after all. I'm sure I can track you down."

  
"No way! I'd never get my students back on task after seeing you!"

  
"Ha! You're probably right. I guess I'll just have to wait. I have to let you go now. My lunch break is almost over."

  
"Ok. I hope you have a good day!"

  
"I will, Yuki. Enjoy your day off and make sure to take time to rest."

  
Yuki's entire body felt like a superconductor. She'd known Zen for such a short time, but their connection was just...electric. Anticipation filled her, and she was briefly concerned that if Thursday didn't hurry up and arrive, she might just explode. A spontaneous idea came to Yuki, causing her cheeks to redden. _I wonder if he'll want me to go home with him after the party..._ Not that she'd mind if he did...

  
\---

  
Yuki carefully blended ivory black with Galkyd medium in a small container, creating a thin, inky-black liquid. Applying it to the canvas, she roughly sketched the next section of the image with the translucent compound. She felt inspired to commit her best effort to her work. Zen had worked his hardest at his craft, and it had seriously paid off for him. Yuki decided that she should do the same. She wanted Zen to be as proud of her as she was of him.

  
Despite her excitement for his accomplishment, Yuki felt a little melancholy. Jaehee's concerns had once again gathered in the forefront of her consciousness. Zen would face more scrutiny now than ever before. His star was just beginning to rise, and Yuki certainly did not want to be the comet that caused him to crash and burn. She couldn't change her feelings, however. All she could do was be optimistic that maybe, somehow, things would work out in her favor.

  
Yuki snapped a picture of her in-progress work, sending it to Zen with the caption, "Thanks to you, I'm feeling inspired to do my very best!" At this point, he was probably still in rehearsal, but hopefully he would see it on the way home.

  
Yoosung wasn't busy, however, and had just seen Zen's announcement. Yuki's phone buzzed, notifying her of the new chat he had created.

  
"Yuki! Can you believe it?"

  
"Hyun got a lead role and he's acting with a famous TV star~"

  
"Not just any TV star! It's Echo Girl!"

  
"Is she good at acting?"

  
"Well, she's known more for her singing, but she's a pretty good actress too. I should ask if Zen can get her autograph for me! I should probably get Zen's, too..."

  
"I should get his autograph too ^^" Though, truth be told, that wasn't the only thing she wanted from Zen. She hadn't forgotten the kiss he had proposed the night before.

  
"Do you think he'll change once he gets really famous?"

  
"I feel like Hyun won't change." At least, Yuki hoped not. _Hyun's perfect just as he is._

  
"You're probably right. Oh! found another club to invite to the party!"

  
"Tell me."

  
"It's a club for young men committed to being faithful to their girlfriends."

  
_Is it just me, or are these clubs getting oddly specific?_ "Sounds fun. Let's invite them."

  
"I'll get going now. Have a good day, Yuki!"

  
"I will. Everything is going great!"

  
Yuki felt a little selfish for being so concerned about the nature of her relationship with Zen. She should be celebrating his accomplishment, rather than looking for negatives. It wasn't about her right now. It was about Zen's well-deserved achievement. The time would come for them to figure things out, but that time wasn't now. Yuki decided to put that issue on the back burner and focus on doing whatever she could to be supportive, like Jaehee had suggested before. _We'll all cheer for you together._

  
\---

  
Jumin glanced at the email from the C &R marketing department, and quickly jotted a few notes on a pad of paper. Apparently, word had spread quickly regarding Zen's new project, and marketing, knowing of Jumin's connection to the actor, urged him to take advantage of this crucial moment in Zen's career. Their plan: wait for Zen's popularity to hit an all-time high, then release a commercial with the actor as a spokesman. Jumin took a quick gander at a list of C&R's current projects in development, trying to determine which would best fit Zen's image. It should be a product largely marketed to women...maybe...cat food?

  
Unfortunately, Zen would likely turn down such an offer, citing his supposed "cat allergy" out of spite for Jumin. Perhaps he could get someone to act as an intermediary. He couldn't ask Assistant Kang; she wouldn't be comfortable asking Zen to do something so against his nature, but Zen sure had taken a liking to Yuki. She hadn't been with the group long enough to truly understand Zen and Jumin's tenuous relationship, so maybe she would be willing to try.

  
Jumin unlocked his cell phone. _Yuki did say she'd be off today...It shouldn't be too difficult to get a hold of her._ Jumin selected the "phone call" option and tapped Yuki's picture. After a few rings, the young woman answered.

  
"Jumin?"

  
"Good afternoon, Yuki. How are you?"

  
Yuki was a bit surprised that Jumin would call her out of the blue like this. She hoped everything was okay. "I'm well... Is there something I can help you with?"

  
"I'm sure you've heard the news about Zen's new role."

  
"Oh, yes. It's very good news!"

  
"As you can imagine, acting with Echo Girl may very well increase his status as a performer."

  
"Is Echo Girl that famous? Hyun must be very good..."

  
"She is very popular. Right now, it seems like everything she touches turns to gold."

  
"Do you really think she will help Hyun get more famous?"

  
"I think there's a very good possibility. That is, if Zen doesn't manage to screw it up somehow."

  
"I think you're being a bit harsh on him." Where exactly was Jumin going with this?"

  
"My marketing team has suggested hiring Zen to advertise one of our products while his star is on the rise. I'm thinking he might do well in a commercial for cat food."

  
_Oh I see. You want me to do your dirty work. You know he won't help if you ask him yourself._ "I don't think Hyun will like that..."

  
"Please just consider it. This would be a good career move for him. He should take as many jobs as he can while his popularity is high. Try mentioning it off-hand to see what he thinks. I'll let you go now. I need to schedule a meeting with marketing."

  
"I'll think about it. Good luck with your meeting."

  
Yuki had no intention of "thinking about it." Zen had made it clear that he wasn't fond of cats. If it had been a project involving something that actually interested him, Yuki wouldn't hesitate to ask, but this project wasn't right for Zen.

  
She sighed and called her mother back, returning to the conversation that Jumin had interrupted.

  
"Sorry, _Eomma_...eh?...Oh, it was about a charity organization I joined...Oh yeah?...How are _Oji-san_ and Maw-Maw?...Oh?...Well...You know how Yakuza are..."

  
\---

  
"Your Cabernet, Miss."

  
Jaehee thanked the waiter for her drink and took a sip. She had decided to celebrate the end of the week by treating herself to dinner out.

  
"Have you decided what you'd like to eat this evening?"

  
"Yes, I'd like the Ahi Tartare, please."

  
"Excellent choice. I'll have that out for you as soon as possible."

  
Jaehee took another swig of her wine, trying to forget Mr. Han's bizarre request from earlier. He had asked Jaehee to try to convince Zen to star in a cat food commercial, of all things. Apparently, he'd already pitched the idea to Yuki, who had also seemed skeptical. _Yuki's only been with us for five days, and even she knows that this is a fool-hardy endeavor!_

  
Jaehee wasn't left alone with her thoughts for long, as she soon saw a familiar face enter the restaurant. She cupped her hands around her mouth to call out to her friend.

  
"Zen!" When the man's head snapped around to locate the familiar voice, she motioned for him to come over.

  
"Jaehee, are you having dinner?" He sat down next to her at the bar.

  
"Yes. I just ordered."

  
"I called ahead to order some food to take home. It's not quite ready yet, so I think I'll join you for a drink while I wait, if that's okay."

  
Jaehee smiled warmly. "Of course."

  
Zen ordered a beer before asking Jaehee about her day.

  
"Zen, have you spoken with Yuki, or Mr. Han today?"

  
"I talked to Yuki earlier when I first heard about the role, but not since then. I haven't talked to Jumin at all. Why?"

  
"He wants you to star in a cat food commercial. He tried to get Yuki to ask you to do it. Can you believe that?"

  
Zen groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Unfortunately, I can believe that."

  
The bartender returned with Zen's pint, handing him the check. Jaehee grabbed it before Zen could pull out his wallet. "It's my treat. Consider it congratulations for your new project."

  
"You don't need to do that."

  
"I know. I want to."

  
"Well, I definitely appreciate it. Hey, let's send Yuki a picture!" Zen opened the camera function on his phone while Jaehee smoothed her hair and straightened her blouse. "Say...Jumin stinks!!"

  
Yuki set her chopsticks on the edge of her dish to reach for her phone, opening the new photo message, greeted by Zen and Jaehee's smiling faces. _Oh, that looks like a fun time. I wonder what they're doing._ She decided to find out, and opened a new chat.

  
"You two look like you're having fun ^^"

  
"Hi Yuki, I went to pick up dinner, and ended up running into Jaehee."

  
"We should all go out together sometime!"

  
"Oh, that sounds like fun," Jaehee typed, joining the conversation.

  
"I can't believe Jumin asked both of you to talk to me about doing that dumb commercial!"

  
"He asked Jaehee too?! He's so shameless!"

  
"Mr. Han can get a little out of hand when he's on a mission."

  
"Try and stop him, Jaehee! lol"

  
"So I guess it's a definite 'no,' then?"

  
"Absolutely. There's no way in hell I'm taking that job."

  
"I think Hyun doesn't want to do the job for personal reasons."

  
"I don't want to work with cats."

  
"I definitely understand that! Cats make me itchy!" Yuki scratched at her nose almost instinctively.

  
"Really? Me too! The problem is, Jumin doesn't take it seriously."

  
"Luckily, Zen doesn't need to do the commercial. His new show with Echo Girl will bring him plenty of attention!"

  
"I hope your new piece is a huge success ^^"

  
"It makes me so happy that you support me doing this."  
"What do you think about Zen acting with Echo Girl?" Jaehee wondered somewhat if Yuki was the jealous type.

  
"I don't think it matters who Hyun works with as long as they're talented. I'm happy that he's getting this opportunity!" If Yuki was jealous, she was very, very good at hiding it.

  
"Maybe I can get you a VIP seat at the performance."

  
"Thank you for thinking of me..."

  
Jaehee frowned. Zen had a very specific look on his face as he chatted with Yuki, and she knew it was bad news. "Please remember, now more than ever, that a relationship could be detrimental to Zen's career."

  
"Jaehee, are you being jealous?" Jaehee was taken aback. Before, Yuki had seemed to agree with Jaehee's warnings, but now she was pushing back. Had her feelings really grown that strong? Jaehee felt like she was trying to stop a runaway train before it crashed and burned.

  
Zen had started pushing back as well. He gave Jaehee a quizzical look before typing his response. "Jaehee, why are you so worried? I can make my own decisions about this. I wish you could trust me to make the right choice."

  
"I...feel the same way." It was two against one.

  
"I'm just worried..."

  
"Thank you for worrying about Hyun, Jaehee, but we'll take care of it on our own."

  
Zen's food arrived then, giving him an excuse to discontinue the unpleasant discussion. "My order is ready. I'll be going home now."

  
Yuki, too, was a little relieved to have an out. "Ok then. I'll talk to you two later." She wasted no time signing off.

  
\---

  
Yuki made an annoyed noise and rolled over onto her stomach. She'd been reading the same paragraph in her book over and over for the past hour, and still hadn't processed a single word of it. The memory of her earlier conversation with Zen and Jaehee still swirled about in her head. The idea of feuding with Jaehee made her feel ill, and she felt hesitant about doing anything that would make another person feel so uneasy. The worst part was, Yuki didn't know for sure if maybe Jaehee was right. Maybe Yuki was so blinded by infatuation that she was incapable of thinking clearly.

  
Her reverie was broken when her phone began vibrating next to her, Zen's face on the screen. _And what exactly do you want to talk about at 1:00 in the morning?_ As she reached for the phone, Yuki's mind receded into the gutter, and she grew warm between her legs.

  
"Hyun! What are you doing this late?" Her brief arousal was shattered when she heard Zen's panicked voice on the other end.

  
"Yuki!" Zen hissed in pain. "I was working on choreography...My ankle...I think I might have broken it!"

  
Yuki sat bolt upright. "What? Your ankle? What's going on? Do you want me to come?"

  
"No, no... I just..." he gave a soft whine.

  
"Just be calm for now... Is there anything I can help you with?"

  
"Yuki, what should I do? God, I must seem so pathetic right now..."

  
"No, you're not pathetic. Think about getting to the hospital first."

  
"They'll want to put me in a cast! Rehearsal for the new show starts in five days!"

  
"Go to the hospital and see a doctor. If you don't, you might make the injury worse."

  
Zen sighed. "You're right, you're right. I'll go."

  
"Get to the hospital safe, Hyun. You'll be alright."

  
Yuki felt sick. Zen hadn't even known about his new role for 24 hours, and now it looked like he might lose it. Opportunities like this didn't come along often. It would be awful if Zen had to pass this one up. Yuki wasn't a religious person, but she wondered if maybe she should start praying that everything would work out for him. She massaged the temples of her head briefly before heading into the bathroom, making sure to keep her phone nearby so she could stay up-to-date on Zen's condition. Maybe running a hot bath would help her relax a little...

  
\---  
The 3:00 hour was drawing near, and Yuki still hadn't received any updates. She didn't expect to hear anything else from Zen that night, but everyone else had been oddly silent. It suddenly dawned on her that maybe she was the only one who knew. Yuki didn't want to flatter herself, but she secretly felt a little tickled at the idea that she was the one he had called on in his time of need. Still, the other RFA members needed to know what was happening.

  
Yuki opened a new chat, hoping that maybe someone was still awake. Jaehee was the someone.

  
"You're still awake, Yuki?"

  
"Jaehee, I'm glad you're online. Hyun injured his ankle and has had to go to the hospital."

  
Jaehee froze. "What? When did this happen?"

  
"He called me around 1:00. It just now occurred to me that maybe I was the only one who knew."

  
"Have you heard any updates?" Jaehee felt sick. Partially because this was a terrible thing to have happen, partially because Zen had only bothered to tell Yuki what was going on.

  
"Not yet. I don't necessarily expect to hear from him again tonight. I feel so bad that he got injured."

  
"I wonder if this will affect his new role..."

  
"He hasn't completely lost the role yet, so let's stay positive."

  
"I wonder if I should go check on him."

  
"I think we should just see how things go for now. He may still be at the hospital. If not, he's probably resting now. I'm sure we'll hear from him in the morning."

  
"You're right. We should let him be for now. You know, Zen actually has an uncanny ability to recover from injuries much quicker than most people."

  
"I really hope that's the case this time~!" Yuki was desperate for any hope that Zen could still perform his new role. More than anything, she wanted his hard work to pay off.

  
"I'll make sure to say a prayer for him," Jaehee offered.

  
"Hyun will be thankful that you're worrying for him... Get some rest now, Jaehee ^^"

  
"You do the same, Yuki. Thank you for telling me what's happening."

  
Yuki set her phone on the nightstand, nestling her head into the pillow. No matter how things turned out, they certainly wouldn't be helped by staying up all night worrying. It might not be easy to fall asleep at a time like this, but a good night's sleep would help things seem better in the morning. Yuki hoped that Zen would be able to rest too, rather than dwelling on his unfortunate situation. She thought that maybe someone should go see him the next day, to check on him and make sure he had food, painkillers, anything he needed. As much as Yuki wanted to be that person, she wanted even more for everything to turn out okay for Zen. She would do anything to put that soft smile back on his face.


	9. Killing Time

It was nearly 10:00 when Yuki awakened on Saturday morning. Her sleep had been fitful at best, waking every hour or so, sick with worry. A pit had formed in her stomach, and she almost dreaded Zen's inevitable phone call. It was Schrodinger's diagnosis, both minor and severe until Yuki finally received news. She lie there in bed indefinitely, until her desire for caffeine finally overpowered her ennui.   
Yuki lit a cigarette, taking a long drag as she dumped several scoops of ground coffee into a fresh filter and pressed "start," watching the black-brown brew seep slowly into the glass pot. Its rich aroma enveloped the small apartment; easing her feelings of dread ever so slightly.

  
Yuki had scarcely tasted her first cup of the day when the dreaded call finally came. Her heart and stomach turned back-flips in tandem as she answered.

  
"Hyun! I was so worried! Are you back from the hospital now?" She wondered how pathetic and desperate she sounded on the other end. She lit another cigarette.

  
"Babe...it's definitely broken." Yuki's stomach hit the floor.

  
"Oh no...does it hurt?"

  
"A little, but not as bad as before. Nicotine helps too..."

  
"It's not good to rely on cigarettes...though, I don't really have any room to talk...The first thing I did when I got out of bed was have a smoke, and I'm having another one now...We're pretty bad, aren't we?" She gave a wry chuckle.

  
"Just hearing your laugh makes me feel so much better already...After last night I must seem pretty pathetic, huh?"

  
"You're not pathetic at all. It was only an accident." Yuki's voice had taken a gentle tone that Zen hadn't heard before. He yearned to see the soft expression on her face that he was certain went along with it.

  
"I'm so disappointed...All that hard work seems like it's for nothing now."

  
"I believe in you. I know that your efforts will shine through one day." Yuki ached to touch him.

  
"I wish you could come visit..."

  
"I'd love that."

  
"I need to lay down for a little while. The more I rest, the quicker I'll recover." Zen's eyelids had started to droop, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep them open.

  
"Ok. Go rest. I hope you feel better soon."

  
Yuki's hands shook as she set the phone down. "GodDAMMIT!" she exclaimed to no one in particular. She slammed her hand on the nearby table. "FUCK!" She ran her hands through her hair, and plopped back down on the bed, rubbing the sides of her head as though she were trying to ease a migraine. She felt so helpless just sitting here, waiting. Yuki was the sort of person who couldn't seem to stay still in a time of crisis. She hated being useless. She hated just sitting around, waiting for something to happen. At the same time, there wasn't a single thing she could actually do now. She didn't know where Zen lived, and she certainly couldn't go without permission. That was bound to be a big no-no.

  
Unfortunately, killing time seemed to be the only option at the moment.

  
\---

  
Yuki didn't realize that she had fallen back asleep until her phone dinged, suddenly jolting her awake. She groaned and rubbed at her eyes. Her mouth tasted like stale cigarettes. She'd already wasted a good part of her Saturday, and she resolved to go for a run and get some painting done before the day ended. If she was going to have to kill time, she could at least do so productively.

  
She switched her phone on, seeing that Jumin and Jaehee were both online, presumably deciding on what actions to take now. Yuki joined them.

  
"Yuki, I'm assuming you know that Zen's been released from the hospital?"

  
"Yes. I'm so glad that he's back home and able to rest now."

  
Jumin got right to the point. "Yuki, Zen contacted me earlier, and asked if it'd be alright for you to visit him." _He did that for me?_

  
"I don't think it's a good idea. If anyone sees you going to his home, it might start rumors. I think maybe I should go instead."

  
Yuki felt disappointed, but she understood. A scandal would just be the cherry on top of a shit sundae. "If I can't go, I think at least you should go, Jaehee. I'm worried he might get too depressed."

  
"I think that would be best."

  
Yuki bit her lip. A question once again burned in her mind, and she couldn't help but ask. "Jaehee...You don't have feelings for Hyun, do you?"

  
Jaehee sucked in her cheeks. Yuki certainly didn't mince words. "Yuki, I'll reiterate. I am only Zen's fan. This is why I feel it is best that I go. It'll be easier for me to stay objective."

  
"Jaehee, I understand why you're anxious, but we're just starting to get to know each other."

  
"Still, your visit would likely start rumors. Because I am both an RFA member, and Mr. Han's employee, I won't raise any suspicions."

  
Yuki realized she was fighting a losing battle. Getting her hopes up would only end in disappointment, so she decided to drop the issue. "I understand. We should do whatever is best for Hyun. Please let me know if there is anything I can do."

  
"Thank you for being cooperative. If we think of anything you can do to help, I won't hesitate to contact you."

  
"Good luck with work, both of you ^^"

  
Yuki closed out of the RFA app, sighing and resting her head in her hands momentarily. Of course she understood the risk involved with visiting Zen, but that didn't make her want it any less. She was starting to get stir-crazy, or something like it. Her curiosity, her concern for Zen, and her more primal desires were a lethal combination. She could temporarily dull one of those things on her own, but the other two would still remain, and in time, the third would once again rear its ugly head. Her frustration mounting, Yuki decided to go for that run.

  
Yuki's lungs stung from the combination of cold air and physical exertion. Bathing them in tobacco smoke probably didn't help too much either. The performance fabric of her jacket helped block out some of the chill, but from time to time, the icy wind managed to cut through. Desperate for physical stimuli to help block out her tumultuous thoughts, she slipped off her jacket and tied it around her waist, the skin of her bare arms prickling at the shock.

  
By the time Yuki arrived back at the front door of her building, her heart was racing and she drew in sharps gasps of air, very nearly causing herself to hyperventilate. Maybe she had pushed herself too hard in her pursuit of distraction.

  
\---

  
Yuki lay sprawled out on the apartment floor, where she had been for the past half-hour or so, simply staring at the ceiling. She put her hands over her eyes and let out a garbled whine. She felt pathetic, being this needy and desperate. She rolled over onto her side and stared at the dust bunnies that had built a nest and started a family under the bed, briefly considering giving them names.

Yuki's phone chimed, and she scrambled to her feet, thirsty for news.

  
"The plot thickens," Seven commented when Yuki joined him in the chat room.

  
"I hope Hyun gets better soon." Yuki had come down with a nasty case of One-Track-Mind Syndrome.

  
"lolol I see how your priorities fall..."

  
Yuki went red. Was it that obvious? _Whatever, it's normal to be worried about something like this. It'd be weird to not be worried._

  
"Don't worry, Yuki. Zen has superhuman healing times. He'll be back on his feet in no time. Probably sooner than the doctor predicted."

  
"It'd be great if he gets better that quickly, but shouldn't he listen to the doctor?"

  
"Maybe, but Zen's a freak of nature. He knows better than anyone what he can and can't handle; we just have to trust him."

  
"I suppose you're right. I just wish there was something I could do to help in the meantime."

  
"Jaehee doesn't seem too keen on that lolol"

  
"I'm sure she means well." At least, Yuki sincerely hoped she did.

  
"Jaehee usually has everyone's best interests at heart. If she says that you visiting Zen could cause problems for him, it's because she genuinely believes it."

  
"If that's the case, I understand."

  
"Do you want to see Zen?"

  
Yuki was caught a bit off guard; she hadn't expected to be asked this so directly. However, she couldn't lie. "I'd like to go visit him if I get the chance..."

  
"When you do get a chance to meet him, how much do you plan to share about yourself, about your past. Will you tell him about your family, about _Asano-nee_?"

  
"I'll tell him anything he wants to know. I don't want to keep any secrets from Hyun."

  
"lolol that'll be an interesting conversation."

  
"I'm a bit surprised you're so nonchalant about it. Who all knows about this...about me?"

  
"Myself, Jumin, and V are the only ones who know at the present moment. Anyone else is up to you. It's not really a concern for us, really. All intel I've pulled indicates your non-involvement. As for the _Asano-nee_ business, well, lots of people were delinquent teenagers..."

  
"I have to admit I'm a bit relieved..."

  
"I've got to go now. I need to contact Jumin and see what we can do about getting you a visit with Zen..."

  
"What? Really?"

  
"It'd probably be good for both of you. I'm willing to bet you're not the only one going mad with frustration."

  
"I'm not...! Do you really think I'm getting that weird?"

  
"Does the pope shit in the woods?"

  
"Well...I appreciate it anyhow."

  
"No problem. See you later."

  
"Bye."

  
Yuki was suddenly struck by the absurdity of her behavior. She hadn't even known Zen for a week, and yet here she was, stressing herself out because she couldn't go see him. The Yuki of last Saturday would have whacked her on the back of the head and told this Saturday's Yuki to sit the fuck down and re-evaluate her priorities. Y _ou see that canvas over there? That! That is your purpose! Not making googly eyes at some dumb boy! Get back to work! There is a time for everything, and there will be a time for love. Be patient bitch! Damn!_

  
\---

  
After nearly three hours at her canvas, Yuki had to admit that she was feeling much better. Art-making was her constant, her cure-all tonic. It demanded her full attention, demanded that she be fully present. Yuki had gotten so caught up in it, she scarcely realized that time had passed. When her phone vibrated in her pocket, she was shocked to discover that the sun had already begun to set. _I did sleep until nearly 3:00._

  
Seeing that Zen was online, Yuki's heart leapt into her throat.

  
"Hyun! How are you feeling?"

  
"Even better now that you're here. Did I misread the transcript of your last conversation with Seven, or is he going to help you get to me? You really want to come over? You don't have to if you don't want to..."

  
"I'd like to go."

  
"It makes me really happy to hear that..."

  
Jaehee logged on then, and both Yuki and Zen braced themselves for a lecture.

  
"Hey, Jaehee~^^"

  
"I thought we had agreed that it wouldn't be best for Yuki to go. There's just too much risk involved. Besides, how would you be able to get there? We can't send a car for you, since Mr. Han doesn't know the address."

  
_Yikes, she got right to the point._ "I'd like to go, but since I'm staying at a secret place, things aren't too easy."

  
"Maybe we should send Seven instead."

  
Both Yuki and Zen reeled backward at that suggestion. "How could you recommend Seven? lolol"

  
"Yuki, you've only known Zen for about a week. Maybe one of the more senior members of RFA should look after him."

  
_It really seems like she's grasping at straws here._ "I haven't known Hyun for long...but I think I can care about him as much as the others do, or even more." _Did I really just say that?_

  
Zen's heart swelled. "Yuki...I care about you a lot too."

  
Yuki gave a little yelp, then clamped her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

  
"I can't deny that seeing each other would be good for Zen's morale..."

  
"Then doesn't that mean I can go?" Yuki had turned into a puppy that wanted to go walkies so very badly.

  
"I still don't think that's a good idea."

  
"Did I do something wrong?"

  
"No, you didn't. I've told you why I think it might do more harm than good. I think it's best we don't make hasty decisions based on what you want right now."

  
"If that's what's best for Hyun, I'll keep that in mind."

  
"What if it's just for a little while? I really want to meet Yuki..."

  
"Hyun..."

  
"Jaehee, I think I'm able to make decisions for my own career." Zen was clearly growing annoyed.

  
"I understand your position, Jaehee...but thank you for saying that, Hyun."

  
"Zen, please just consider the scandal that this could cause. Your dignity is at stake."

  
Yuki grew defensive. "Jaehee, you're not wrong...but I think it should be Hyun who decides what dignity means for himself, not the fans."

  
Jaehee rubbed the sides of her head. These two clearly couldn't be convinced to think logically about this. Trying to persuade them was pointless. "I need to go now. Please think about what I've said. Just think about it."

  
Zen waited until Jaehee had gone before sending another message. "Babe...you don't think I'm being pathetic and desperate, do you?"

  
"Hyun...don't have such thoughts. You're just going through a rough patch right now."

  
"Why is Jaehee so adamant about this? Why can't she let us make the decision for ourselves? I mean, I know she means well, but..."

  
"I'm sure she means well too. We just have different perspectives."

  
"Oh, I need to go. Seven's calling me."

  
"Rest up and think positive thoughts. I'll talk to you later."

  
Yuki put her phone down, suddenly realizing that she hadn't eaten all day. She quickly sucked down a cup of instant noodles before returning to her painting, desperately hoping to make three more hours disappear in a puff of smoke.

  
\---

  
Yuki stood several feet back from her canvas, just looking at it, as she'd been doing for the past hour. The painting wasn't finished, not by a long shot. All the same, Yuki wasn't quite sure where to go with it next. She glanced at the clock on the wall, which notified her that the midnight hour was rapidly approaching. She'd been hard at work for four hours before conducting an hour-long analysis. Finally, Yuki hit that inevitable point of realization that she'd simply been starting at the same image for too long, and it was now time to walk away for the night.

  
Yuki started the water in the shower, searching for the right balance between hot and cool. She stripped out of her studio clothes and stepped inside, water drenching her scalp and trailing down her back. Even after she had finished washing, Yuki stood there under the water for a long time, lulled into a state of relaxation by the hot water. When the water had begun to run cold and her ear caught the muffled ding of her phone, it was time to step out.

  
Yuki wrapped herself in a towel and sat on the bathroom floor, phone in hand, water dripping down her neck.

  
"Hyun~"

  
"Yuki, you're still awake?"

  
"For a little while longer. I've just gotten out of the shower."

  
Zen's brain quickly generated an image that he would return to later that night, but he pushed it aside for the time being. "Everyone's been calling me today."

  
Yuki was a little surprised that Zen hadn't taken the golden opportunity to make a raunchy quip, but she didn't complain. "I'm sure it's because they are worried about you."

  
"I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep well tonight. I'm still thinking about the role..."

  
"Hyun...are you still holding on to it?"

  
"I heal quickly! I might be able to just make it!"

  
A knot formed in Yuki's stomach. _He's still so hopeful...but a broken bone..._ "Hyun..."

  
"I have to take this role. I'm not going to get a better opportunity than this!"

  
"Don't think like that Hyun. You can get better soon and get a better role!"

  
"Yuki's right! You're a talented, hard-working actor. There's sure to be another chance," Jaehee added, joining them. "Listen... maybe now would be a good time for you to contact your family."

  
"Does Hyun not talk to his family regularly?"

  
"I guess that hasn't come up since Yuki's been here...I haven't spoken to my family in nearly a decade. I don't know about reaching out to them, though..." _Hyun..._ Yuki's heart ached for Zen. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to be cut off from her family.

  
"Listen, Hyun...I don't know the situation, but I don't necessarily think it's a bad idea."

  
"It might be a good opportunity for you to start mending your relationship with them."

  
"Of course it's for you to decide Hyun, but it would be nice if you could return to your family."

  
"I don't know...I'll think about it..."

  
"I understand it's a sensitive issue, so I'll respect your decision."

  
"I think I'll go now. I want to look over my script just in case I can get better in time."

  
"Please feel better...I really wish I could go..."

  
"Yuki, please remember why you can't..." Jaehee gently reminded.

  
"I know. Thank you for thinking of him, Jaehee."

  
"Yes, thank you both for everything..."

  
"Good night, Hyun. Please get better soon. Jaehee, you get a good night's rest, too^^"

  
Yuki signed off and resumed her nighttime routine. She felt as though her heart might burst with all of the affection, empathy, desire, and kinship she had shoved inside of it recently. Simultaneously warm and fuzzy, and struck by melancholy, she turned back the bed covers and crawled inside. Yuki sighed softly, realizing that another sleepless night awaited her, as she had far too much to think about. She crawled out of bed and retrieved the bottle of vodka from the freezer, hoping that a nightcap (or three) would quiet the voices enough that she could steal a few hours of rest.


	10. The Stars We Looked at Together

\---

The early morning sun peeked through the blinds, casting its soft glow across Yuki's face. Her eyes fluttered open, and she stretched her arms upward, feeling more well-rested than she had expected. Yuki lay there for a little while, just enjoying the silent stillness of the hazy Sunday morning. She briefly pondered a theoretical future Sunday, awaking from a deep sleep to gaze at Zen through half-lidded eyes, a dreamy "good morning," a languid kiss that lingered like sleep on one's eyelashes.

  
Yuki's stomach gave a low rumble, demanding sustenance as she snapped back to reality. She rolled out of bed and wrapped herself in her thick, fleecy robe before padding into the kitchen to prepare a hearty breakfast. Yuki put a kettle on to boil while heating a pan on the stove. She retrieved some leftover rice from the freezer, along with an avocado and a couple of eggs. Ten minutes later, she sat down with her steaming breakfast bowl and a pot of tea.

  
Yuki sat in silence, eating her breakfast, stabbing the fried eggs so that the rich yolk seeped out, mingling with the rice and grassy avocado. She savored the quiet moments to herself, as those were few and far-between these days. Yuki didn't regret her new lifestyle, but she did enjoy these occasional moments of solitude. She had just finished her meal, resting her chopsticks on the rim of her bowl, when the first chat of the day came through.

  
"Babe! You're awake already. Did you eat a good breakfast?"

  
"I did! You should eat properly too."

  
"Good. You should always eat healthy meals. You can't live off of Honey Buddha Chips like Seven."

  
"What? Honey Buddha Chips? How did he get them? They're so hard to find!"

  
Zen shrugged. "No one knows." He paused for a moment. "The director of the new show called me this morning. I didn't tell him about my injury..."

  
Yuki's eyes softened. "Hyun..."

  
"I can't give up on this, Yuki."

  
"I know it's hard...but you know that you always have to tell the truth."

  
"But this is my chance!"

  
"You'll get another opportunity. Everyone thinks so...Have faith in yourself!"

  
"Not like this..."

  
"Don't limit yourself by thinking like that."

  
"You're so kind to me, Yuki."

  
"Because I believe in you. We all do."

  
"Thank you." He sent a cheerful emote. "I think I'm going to go get some goldfish-shaped bread. Seven posted a picture of some late last night, and I've been thinking about it ever since. There's a seller just down the street from my house."

  
"Get back safe~"

  
Yuki closed out of the chat and looked back through the photos that Zen had sent over the past week. Feeling inspired, she grabbed her sketchbook and a pencil.

  
\---

  
Zen made his way down the street toward the goldfish-bread seller. Apparently, goldfish-shaped bread was the breakfast of choice on this particular morning, as a short line had formed by the seller's cart. Zen joined the line, waiting patiently for his turn to order.

  
A limousine with tinted windows drove past, suddenly screeching to a halt a little further down the street. The door opened, and a petite brunette leapt out, making a bee-line for Zen. She looked a little familiar, but Zen couldn't exactly put his finger on where he'd seen her before.

  
"Is that Echo Girl?" one of the women in line whispered to her friend.

  
Zen could have smacked himself in the face. _Of course!_ Echo Girl latched onto his arm, her cheeks pink with excitement.

  
"It's really you!! My handsome Zenny~!" _Well okay then._ Taking a moment to recover from being caught so very off-guard, Zen did his best to remember his manners.

  
He clasped Echo Girl's hand gently in his and smiled. "I'm very glad to meet you, Echo Girl. I was very excited to be offered the chance to work with you."

  
Echo Girl let out a delighted squeal. "You're even more charming in person!" She was beaming so brightly, Zen feared he might go blind. "I'm so excited that I get to act alongside you as your leading lady!"

  
"I'm glad that you're excited for the project too," Zen responded, a bit lost for words.

  
Shameless, Echo Girl's eyes flicked up and down his body, and for the first time, noticed the cast on his leg. "Oh-oh no! Is my Zenny injured?" she asked, concern clouding her face.

  
"Unfortunately, yes. I fractured my ankle Friday night while practicing choreography. I am afraid it may not heal in time for rehearsals. If that is the case, I may have to give up the role.

  
Echo Girl stuck out her bottom lip, pouting. She crossed her arms. "That simply won't do. If Zenny has to give up the role, I will refuse mine as well. I'll make the director push back rehearsals until your ankle heals. If I can't act with Zenny, I don't want to do the role at all." She gave a childish _hmmph_.

  
"You don't need to do that."

  
"Don't misunderstand me. I don't want to do the role if I can't do it with you."

  
Zen ran his hand through his hair, a defeated grunt escaping him. Was Echo Girl really that big a fan of his acting? Or did she just like his looks? Before he could say anything else, another woman trotted up behind Echo Girl.

  
"Echo Girl, we've got to get going. You're going to miss your flight if you linger here much longer."

  
"They'll hold the flight for me."

  
Echo Girl's handler sighed, exasperated. She was clearly used to this sort of diva behavior. "Please come along."

  
Echo girl _hmmph_ -ed again, before standing up on her tip-toes to give Zen a peck on the cheek. "I'll see you soon, Zenny~."

  
The other woman turned to Zen, simply saying "Please excuse us," before whisking Echo Girl away.

  
Zen was at a loss. The strangeness of the brief encounter befuddled him. What were Echo Girl's feelings exactly? Had he only been offered the role at Echo Girl's behest? What would Yuki have to say about all this. Zen had a feeling that she would laugh the whole thing off, finding it absurd, but would she secretly be hurt by it, by Echo Girl's feelings? Zen racked his brain for the right way to explain the situation.

  
"Sir?" Zen snapped out of his headspace. It seemed that the line at the goldfish bread stand had dissipated while he was in his own little world.

  
\---

  
Yuki set the two paper bags down on the table, sliding off her jacket and hanging it on the back of a chair. One bag contained her bounty from the art supply store, some new sketching pencils, a fresh plastic eraser, a couple of nice brushes that she had been unable to resist, while the other bag contained her lunch. While walking back to her car after making her supply purchases, the meaty aroma wafting from a nearby hamburger joint had called out to her, and she had answered. She removed her food from the bag- the burger, neatly bundled, and the packet of still-steaming fries, sparkly with grease. She unwrapped the burger and took a bite of the hefty sandwich, juices oozing out and coating her fingers. _Mmmph...So good~_

  
A muffled ping sounded from the inside of her handbag. Yuki froze mid-bite, her eyes flicking over to the bag. She set the burger down and wiped her hands on her jeans before grabbing the device.

  
"Hello, Jaehee~"

  
"Hello, Yuki," Jumin greeted. "Since Zen may be unable to perform his new role, do you think he'd be any more willing to do our cat food commercial?" Yuki rolled her eyes. _It's a Sunday, and the man is thinking about cat food._ "We're in the process of developing a new cat food formula, organic this time. We're planning a huge product launch."

  
"Am I the only one who smells more late work hours for Jaehee?"

  
"We could potentially release an entire line of organic, eco-friendly cat products..." Jumin went on.

  
"Aren't you sick of cats?" Yuki certainly was.

  
"I wonder how Zen is doing," Jaehee commented, attempting to change the subject.

  
"It might be good for someone to visit him."

  
"Maybe you should go, Yuki," Jumin suddenly commented. WHAT?!

  
"I'd like to go, but how can I?"

  
"I can have you meet my driver at a neutral location. He will take you to Zen's house. You will stay for no longer than two hours, and then my driver will take you back to the neutral location."

  
"Then...I can really meet him!!"

  
"Of course, this is all on one condition: you must talk to Zen about doing the commercial."

  
Yuki groaned. "I could ask him about it..." Truthfully, she had no intention of asking, but Jumin didn't need to know that.

  
"I thought we had established that it wouldn't be good for Yuki to go."

  
"Jaehee, you don't have to worry. Nothing bad will happen." Yuki felt like a dog that had heard the word 'treat.' Nothing was stopping her now.

  
"Where should I go?"

  
"I'll ask Seven to tell me what part of the city the apartment is in, and I'll send you an address for a cafe or coffee shop where you can wait."

  
"Yuki, please be mindful today..."

  
"Don't worry. I won't do anything to harm him."

  
"I know, but...please be careful."

  
"I will."

  
Yuki wolfed down the rest of her food before scrambling off to the bathroom. She switched on her flat iron while dabbing primer onto her face. She probably didn't have long before Jumin would send her the address, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to make one hell of a first impression. An hour later, Yuki's hair was straight, her eyebrows perfectly arched, her eyes smoked and sultry, her cheekbones sharpened, and her skin smooth and flawless. She was just dabbing Dark Heroine perfume onto her pressure points when she received the address from Jumin, notifying her to be there in half an hour. _Shouldn't be a problem...If I can just decide what to wear._

  
\---

  
Yuki tapped the address to the coffee shop into the 'maps' function on her phone, trying to decide if it would be best to drive to the cafe, or walk. She'd finally settled on a grey t-shirt dress, a loose, thickly-knit black cardigan, and a pair of black canvas slip-on shoes, a combination that was decidedly comfortable and casual, but still accented her femininity. Seeing that the coffee shop was a mere two blocks from the apartment building, Yuki opted for the short walk. She slung her handbag over her shoulder and paused a moment by the door, steeling herself for...well, she didn't know exactly.

  
Yuki speed-walked down the sidewalk, her gait a little bouncier than normal. Passing by a pharmacy, a thought occurred to Yuki, and she popped inside for a quick errand. _Better safe than sorry._

  
Face beet-red, Yuki stared at the numerous varieties of condoms, whose suggestive packaging graphics seemed to mock her. It had been quite a while since she'd had to make this kind of purchase, and she could have sworn that the number of options had only grown since then. _It's a bit presumptuous, isn't it? Maybe I should just go...I...don't even know which...size...to buy._ A pharmacist, old enough to be Yuki's grandmother, passed by, noticing Yuki's hesitation.

  
"Is there anything I can help you with, Sweetie?"

  
"Ah...No, I'm just thinking. I'm not quite sure what kind I should buy...Or if I'm even going to need them in the first place..."

  
"If there's even a remote chance that you might need them, I'd recommend having them just in case."

  
"That's what I was thinking, I just don't know..." Yuki trailed off.

  
"What size to buy?"

  
Yuki could have sworn that steam was coming out of her ears. "R-right."

  
The pharmacist gestured to a package on the bottom shelf that had somehow gone unnoticed before. "We carry a variety package. That way, you and your partner can decide which is best."

  
"I see. Thank you for your help."

  
Yuki made a bee-line for the counter, paying for her selection before she could have a chance to change her mind.

  
\---

  
She sat perched outside the coffee shop, hands shaking as she sipped her cup of tea. Yuki felt a bit like a pervert, but at least she was a cautious pervert. She had shoved the box as deep into the black pit of her handbag as possible, wanting to eliminate any chance that Zen would see them. Unless, of course, they found themselves in a situation where protection was needed.

  
A black luxury sedan with tinted windows pulled up beside her, and a middle aged man exited. He approached Yuki and offered his hand. "Miss Asano? My name is Driver Kim. Mr. Han has sent me to escort you today." Yuki took a deep breath. It was time.

  
Yuki settled into the back seat, her handbag beside her. She bounced her leg nervously, her mind buzzing. She pinched the flesh of her leg. _Pull yourself together! Get your game face on!_ Yuki steadied her breathing, and slipped her phone out of her bag to confirm that Zen knew she was coming.

  
Zen answered before the second ring. "Babe! I can't believe you're actually coming! I'm so excited!"

  
"I'm excited too~" Yuki caught herself smiling broadly.

  
"Listen, something crazy happened earlier when I went to buy the goldfish-shaped bread. I actually ran into Echo Girl."

  
"You met her?"

  
"Yeah. She seemed really excited to work with me."

  
"Did you tell her that you might not be able to do the show?"

  
"I did, but she refused to take no for an answer. Apparently...she's my fan."

  
"Wow...Amazing."

  
"She said she'll talk to the director and get him to push back rehearsals."

  
"I guess you get to play the role. Congratulations."

  
Zen could have sworn that he could hear a little jealousy in Yuki's voice, but he wasn't concerned. After all, he had the whole evening to prove to her that she was the one he cared for. "I can't wait to see you..."

  
Driver Kim turned, pulling into a more residential area. "I think I'm almost there. I'll see you soon."

  
After hanging up, Zen hobbled to the bathroom as quickly as he could in his present condition, smoothing his hair and splashing on a little cologne. His heart leapt when he saw the black car stop in front of his house.

  
\---

  
After what seemed like an eternity, the doorbell rang, and Zen rushed to answer it.

  
"Good afternoon." Driver Kim stepped aside to reveal Yuki, small and lovely, standing right there on Zen's doorstep.

  
"Hyun..." Zen thought he might melt at the sound of her voice, clear and undistorted by the phone. Zen took her hand (so tiny!) and led her inside.

  
"Mr. Han has asked me to take her back in two hours time. I will wait in the car across the street until then."

  
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that. We'll let you know when she's ready to go."

  
"But-" Zen closed the door. Yuki couldn't help but give a small laugh.

  
"Is it okay to ignore what Driver Kim said?"

  
Zen shrugged. "What is he gonna do? Kidnap you? I won't let that happen." Yuki laughed again. "Your laugh is so cute. I'm glad you're here. I wanted to meet you so bad..."

  
"I wanted to see you too."Her eyes flicked off in the other direction, color rising on her cheeks. "You're more handsome in person." Yuki met his gaze again, her amber-colored eyes sparkling.

  
"Your eyes are so bright..."

  
"What would you like to do while I'm here? Is there anything you need help with? Oh! Maybe I can help you practice your lines, since you get to keep your part!" Zen found Yuki's enthusiasm almost too adorable.

  
"Actually, I need to get some groceries. It'd be too difficult for me to go on my own while I'm injured, but I'm sure with both of us, we could get it done."

  
"Okay. I'd be glad to help you."

  
\---

  
Yuki pushed the cart through the grocery store, with Zen hobbling along beside her. The two had become deeply engrossed in a discussion about vegetables, which ones were best for you, and whether there really was such a thing as a "superfood."

  
"Yuki, Kale's so good for you! And it tastes so good cooked with olive oil and shallots!"

  
"I know, but it still smells like someone farted into a dirty sock."

  
"That's super gross, Yuki."

  
"But am I wrong?"

  
Two young women noticed Zen, and approached, politely asking for an autograph.

  
"If you like, I can take a photo for you," Yuki offered, smiling.

  
"Really? We'd love that!"

  
Yuki snapped a couple of pictures on each of the girls' phones, showing them the images to make sure they were happy with the outcome. Zen was touched by the gesture, by how easy-going Yuki was with his fans, by how friendly she acted with them.

  
"Is this your girlfriend?"

  
"So pretty~!"

  
Zen was surprised by the question, but Yuki seemed unbothered. She winked, and wagged her finger cutely. "I can't tell you that. It's a secret, okay~?"

  
The girls thanked them for the pictures and left. "You're a natural with fans!"

  
Yuki shrugged. "You just have to be friendly...what else do we need to get while we're here? Dish soap? Beer?"

  
"I think all that's left is bottled water, and, yes, beer."

  
After they had made it through the checkout line, Yuki and Zen had an unfortunate realization.

  
"Ah...Yuki...I think we bought too much stuff. Even with two of us..."

  
Yuki stared at the load for a moment before snapping her fingers. "I think I know what we can do." She hung most of the grocery bags from her outstretched arms. "Now put the bottled water in my arms, and put the beers on top of that." Zen did as he was told, but he wasn't sure that tiny Yuki would make it even a block before the weight became too much.

  
"Isn't that really heavy?"

  
"Ha! You underestimate me, Hyun! I'm used to carrying around 25 kilograms or more of art supplies! This is nothing."

  
\---

  
To Zen's surprise, Yuki made it all the way back, barely breaking a sweat. She sighed loudly as she set everything down on the kitchen counter. "It was easier when I was 20, but I can still do it!" She fanned herself with her hands and tugged off her cardigan, exposing a half-sleeve tattoo of a traditional-style koi fish.

  
"Whoa! I didn't know you had that!"

  
Yuki gave him a quizzical look. "What, you don't like tattoos on women?" She raised an eyebrow.

  
Zen shook his head. "It's not that at all. I actually think it's pretty bad-ass. It suits you. I was just surprised, that's all."

  
Yuki made pointing motions at herself. "Art School!" She laughed. "I have others too, you know..." She turned around and tugged at the collar on the back of her dress, revealing two kanji inked onto the top bump of her spine.

  
"Oh! Didn't Mr. Trust Fund Kid say something about that tattoo earlier in the week?"

  
Yuki sighed. "He did."

  
"What do those characters mean, if you don't mind me asking?"

  
Yuki turned back around, starting to unpack the groceries from their bags. "The kanji spell the word " _Ojo_." It means "princess."

  
Zen raised an eyebrow. "No offense, but you don't exactly seem like the kind of girl who would get the word "princess" as a tattoo..."

  
Yuki snorted, putting the last of the cold items into the fridge. "Let me make you a cup of tea, then we'll go into the living room and sit down. It's a long story, but I'd like to share it with you."

  
In the living room, Yuki settled into a chair facing Zen, tucking her legs underneath her. She took a deep breath before beginning.

  
"Historically, the Asano were a family of samurai. We had a proud, honorable history as humble, skilled, warriors. However..." she trailed off briefly.

  
"Go on, Yuki. I'm listening."

  
"During the Meiji Restoration, the samurai class was abolished. My family's entire way of life up until that point, suddenly no longer existed. Ultimately, many of them resorted to running illegal gambling establishments just to make ends meet. Eventually, the Asano family came to monopolize underground casinos in Hyogo and Okayama. We went from being a samurai family to being a yakuza group. The Asano Syndicate still holds a significant amount of power in those prefectures today."

  
"Yuki..."

  
"I understand that this is a lot to process...but please know, I'm not involved with my family's illegal activities."

  
"I didn't think you would be...Is this related to your tattoo?"

  
"Yes. All members of the group have kanji tattooed in that same spot. The word differs from person to person. Sometimes it's a name, or a word that describes that person's personal philosophy. The traditional way of wearing kimono, it exposes that spot, so that the kanji is visible when the person is wearing a formal kimono."

  
"You're not involved with your family's syndicate, but you have the tattoo of a member?"

  
"Yes. I was sixteen years old when I got that tattoo. At the time, I wanted to be involved with the group. However, I grew up, went to college...I changed a lot as a person over those years. I'm not involved, but it's still a part of my history. I'm not ashamed of it..."

  
"Why the word 'princess?'"

  
Yuki clasped her hand on the back of her neck. "Well...my paternal grandfather is...kind of the family head...When I was young, his men always affectionately called me _Asano-ojo_."

  
Zen almost spit out his tea. "S-seriously? So you grew up in that situation?"

  
Yuki shook her head. "Not really. My father had no desire to follow in his father's footsteps. He went to Hokkaido to attend college, and studied literature. He met my mother, they got married..."

  
"I see...so your immediate family was pretty normal then?"

  
"Yes. Of course, we did visit my grandparents several times each year. My dad still has a good relationship with his father, even if he doesn't approve of my grandfather's choices. He didn't want to deprive me of having a relationship with my grandparents; he always made sure to always explain that what they were doing wasn't right, but that they were still kind people and we should still respect them and care for them."

  
"Amazing...you've been living with this all along..." Zen's heart swelled for Yuki. She too had experienced an unusual upbringing. Maybe...she would understand what he had gone through. He resolved to explain everything before she left. "Would you like to stay a while longer and eat dinner together?"

  
"I'd like that very much, Hyun."

  
\---

  
Yuki stared at the contents of the refrigerator. "What do you want to eat, Hyun?"

  
"Maybe...beef and vegetable stir-fry?"

  
"That would be good. If you work on making some rice, I'll start cutting vegetables." She selected some onions, peppers, and snow peas from the vegetable drawer and located a cutting board and kitchen knives.

  
"Yuki, why did you want to become a part of your family's syndicate when you were younger."

  
Yuki paused her slicing and dicing for a moment. "Ah, I didn't explain that did I? I have to warn you...it doesn't paint me in a very flattering light."

  
"I don't care. I want to know everything about you."

  
Yuki's lips parted a little, and her gaze met Zen's, holding it for a brief moment in time. She resumed her cutting. "Ok. Let me start from the beginning. There's a bit of relevent background information. As I'm sure you already suspect, my heritage isn't entirely Japanese. My mother is Korean. This is why I can speak the language fluently; I grew up bilingual. My father is only half-Japanese. His father is Japanese, and my paternal grandmother is African-American. She traveled to Japan to visit a friend who was an American soldier stationed in Japan during the American occupation following World War II. During her visit, she met my grandfather, and they connected almost immediately. They were married, and had my father, and my two aunts. If you've been wondering why I have darker skin, it's because I'm a quarter black."

  
"I see. Go on."

  
"Well, as I'm sure you can imagine, I grew up looking different from all the other children. Japan is fairly homogeneous, so people weren't always nice about it. It wasn't an issue when I was really young, because small children don't care about that sort of thing, but as I got older, some of my classmates started to bully me for it. I started getting into fights after school. I have never felt ashamed of who I am, so when people tried to make me feel bad for how I looked, I always wanted to defend myself.

  
"By the time I was in high school, I was a full-fledged delinquent, along with my two best friends, Michiko and Kazue. We had an interesting way of doing things. During school hours, we were model students. We made straight A's and participated in clubs. I was both the president of the art club and captain of the girls' kendo team. After school, however, we ran our neighborhood. I would fight anyone who challenged me, and I never lost. Eventually, younger kids started coming to me when they were being picked on, and I'd beat up their bullies for them. That's how I got the nickname _Asano-nee_. It means 'big sister Asano.' Once, I even beat up an ice cream seller who had been cheating little kids out of their money. When we'd visit my grandparents, I'd sometimes go to the gambling parlors and challenge older men to dice games. They always accepted, assuming they were sure to beat a high school girl. Unfortunately for them, my grandfather taught me how to play dice when I was tiny. That is, he taught me how to cheat at dice."

  
She looked at Zen, dead-serious. "Never play dice with me. I will take everything you own."

  
Zen held up his hands. "I believe you. Thanks for the warning."

  
"The syndicate was the one place where I never felt any judgment for my heritage. For that reason, I wanted to become an _Ane-san_ , and maybe even one day succeed my grandfather. My parents were so worried that I actually might do it...but time passed, my art got better and better, and my teachers encouraged me to apply to art schools. When I got into NYU, I knew that art was my true destiny. I went to the United States, and I got a completely fresh start. I'm so glad that I chose that path instead. I'm proud of the person I've become." She smiled softly to herself.

  
"Yuki...you're such an amazing person...you've been through so much, but you still have so much kindness and hope inside of you." Zen leaned over to brush a piece of hair out of Yuki's face.  
Their eyes met, and Zen found himself, ever so slowly, leaning in closer. Yuki bit her lip. The intimate moment was shattered into a thousand pieces when Yuki's phone rang, the cheerful RFA music filling the silence, Jaehee's face appearing on the screen.

  
Yuki grabbed for the phone. _Jaehee is bound to have a heart attack if I hesitate too long._

  
"Yuki, I'm glad you picked up. How is Zen doing?"

  
"He's doing well."

  
"Please give him my regards."

  
"I will. Thanks Jaehee."

  
"Please let me remind you, one more time, to be mindful about what happens between you and Zen. A relationship that is too intimate could cause a scandal big enough to ruin his career."

  
"Jaehee, I understand what you are saying. But...leave our relationship to us."

  
Zen looked at Yuki. _Our relationship? Do you want to have a relationship with me, Yuki?_

  
"Just...be careful. Enjoy your time together, but be careful."

  
_Don't worry, Jaehee. I picked up protection before coming here._ "I will. Have a good day, Jaehee."

  
Yuki put her phone down on the counter, and started chopping vegetables again. "Jaehee says to give you her regards."

  
\---

  
"Yuki, you like beer, right?" Zen called from the kitchen.

  
"I do!"

  
Zen returned to the living room with two cans, handing one to Yuki. They had finished their team-effort dinner and were now relaxing in the living room, laughing at some old photos from Yuki's high school days. It had started to get late, but neither of them showed any signs of winding down. "Yuki...I don't really want to send you home. Can you stay tonight?"

  
Yuki's eyebrows lifted, and she was suddenly very glad to have stopped by the pharmacy. She crossed her legs, trying in vain to ease the heat building between them. "If you want me to..."

  
"I mean...if you want to stay, that is..."

  
Yuki's mind had already started to form all manner of inane questions. _Will he give me one of his shirts to wear to bed? Or would he prefer nothing at all..._ "I want to stay here too."

  
Zen's heart leapt into his throat, and he was suddenly unsure whether he would be able to control the beast inside of him; the thought of Yuki lying next to him, cuddling closer in her sleep, was almost too much to handle. The room suddenly seemed impossibly hot. "Oh! There's something I want to share with you! I haven't yet shown you my favorite thing about this house."

  
He grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch, wrapping it around Yuki's shoulders, and led her down a short hallway. He stopped in front of a sturdy, wooden ladder, which led up to a hinged window on the ceiling, seemingly providing an exit to the roof. Zen carefully climbed through, and gestured for Yuki to follow. She did as told and took a seat next to Zen. "Look up."

  
Yuki lifted her face upward, greeted by a thousand glittering stars which rendered her breathless. "Beautiful..." Yuki reached into her pocket, retrieving her lighter and pack of smokes. She put one in her mouth, lighting it before offering the package to Zen.

  
He happily accepted, gesturing for Yuki to hand him the lighter. Instead, Yuki leaned over and pressed the tip of her cigarette against Zen's, gazing deeply into his eyes as she waited for the paper to ignite. _Yuki...You have to know what you're doing to me._

  
"You know, Jumin wanted me to ask you again about the cat food commercial."

  
"I'm not going to do it."

  
"I know. I never had any intention of asking you about it seriously. I trust your decision."

  
"I know he's probably going to offer me a lot of money for the work, but I don't care about that."

  
"Why?"

  
"It's not that I don't understand how money is important, I just don't think it's the most crucial factor. My older brother emphasized it too much."

  
"Oh?" It seemed that maybe Zen was finally ready to open up about his family history, and Yuki was all too eager to encourage it.

  
"Yeah. My brother is quite a bit older than I am, but when I was young, we had a good relationship. When I would go out in public, people would always fuss over me and try to touch me. I didn't like it, and my mother would tell me that it was because I was ugly."

  
Yuki's heart sank. "Hyun..."

  
"My brother explained to me though. He told me that I was actually very good-looking, but that our mother was trying to keep me humble. She didn't want me to become like other handsome men, working as an entertainer, damaging the family name. I wasn't particularly gifted in school, but I always worked hard and did all right because my older brother encouraged me."

  
"You must have really liked your brother..."

  
"I did, that is, until I started middle school. I discovered that I had a talent for singing and acting, and I started to become more confident. My parents discouraged me from pursuing those things, but it was even worse when my brother took their side. He called them 'silly hobbies,' and said I should give them up, and pursue a more profitable career."

  
"Why do you think he changed so suddenly?"

  
"He had started working as a lawyer, and was making a lot of money. I think his definition of success became very narrow, and he lost sight of what was important. I...ended up running away. I worked a lot of odd jobs and barely made rent for a long time. I...even did some bad things, like threatening people for money. You and your gang probably would have beaten me up for the things I did." He gave a small chuckle.

  
Yuki's eyebrows knit themselves together. "It must have been so hard..."

  
"It was for a long time, but then I met Rika. She surprised me after one of my performances, and told me that she'd been following my career from the beginning. She told me that she could help me find opportunities for work. That's how I was introduced to Jumin. I disliked him right away."

  
"Because he reminded you of the kind of person your brother had become?"

  
"Yes. I turned down all of his offers, but eventually joined RFA. Little by little, I started getting more work, and got a contract with GD Entertainment as a freelancer."

  
"Amazing...No wonder you're so passionate about your work. You went through so much to pursue your dream. You have a lot to be proud of, Hyun."

  
"Yuki...It was so hard for so long, but now...everything seems to be getting better and better." He paused, color rising in his face. "Especially now that you're here."

  
"There's nowhere I'd rather be right now."

  
Zen smiled sheepishly. "Can I...hold your hand?"

  
Yuki's heart pounded in her chest. "Hold it tight and never let go."

  
Zen clasped Yuki's hand in his, taking a quick look at it. Her hands were small and square, clearly having done much work over the years. Her palms looked rough, but they weren't. A callus had formed on her ring finger from years of holding paint brushes.

  
They sat there for a short while, just wordlessly gazing at the night sky, before the tension mounting inside Zen became too much to handle, and he had to make a decision. Was he man, or beast? This time, he had to choose the path of a gentleman.

  
He pulled his hand away, breaking Yuki's dreamy focus. "I'm sorry, I have to send you home now. Just holding your hand, I can't help but think about what will happen in the end..."

  
Yuki's eyes widened, and her cheeks went pink. She too, had been imagining what would happen in the end, and she very much liked the thought. "What do you mean?" she asked coyly.

  
"If you can't guess, then you don't need to know." _What I mean is, if I don't send you back, I very well might put you on your back right here and now._

  
Yuki smiled devilishly. "Oh, I can guess, but I kind of want to hear you say it." _I want to hear how badly you want me._

  
Zen groaned loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yuki...You're gonna be the death of me, you know that?" Yuki smirked.

  
Downstairs, she picked up her handbag and slipped her shoes back on. "Before I go, is there anything else you need? Painkillers? Anything like that?"

  
"No, I'm all set. I'm sorry I don't have enough self-control to let you stay..."

  
"It's fine. I can come next time."

  
She cradled one side of Zen's face in her hand, gently pressing her lips against the other before slipping out the front door and trotting over to the car, where Driver Kim had fallen asleep at the wheel.

  
\---

  
Back at home, Yuki pulled out her cell phone, wanting to let Zen know that she had made it home safely. He picked up before the first ring had even ended.

  
"Babe, are you back at the apartment?"

  
"Yes, I'm back safe."

  
"Good. Listen, I'm sorry I had to send you back. I just knew that if you had stayed..."

  
Yuki bit her lip. _Tell me. Tell me what you would have done to me._ "I'm blushing..."

  
"See? You're just too cute. I want to be with you always."

  
"Hyun..."

  
"I think I just need some time to get ready. You deserve someone who's ready to love you completely and without hesitation."

  
"Thank you so much for saying that, Hyun..."

  
"I don't think I've ever liked anyone as much as I like you..."

  
"I like you too, Hyun, but...I don't want any damage to your career." After hearing how much Zen had struggled to get where he was, Yuki was hesitant to risk causing him to lose everything he had achieved.

  
"Yuki, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. I know there has to be a way, and I will find it." _Yuki is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of girl._ I'd be a fool to let her pass me by.

  
"Hyun...Thank you so much for saying that!"

  
"What can I say, Yuki? You're absolutely radiant. You've blinded me!"

  
"I don't care if you're blinded. I still like you."

  
"I should let you sleep now. You have to work tomorrow, right?"

  
"Crap! I almost forgot!"

  
"You should get ready to sleep."

  
"Put me to bed, Hyun."

  
Zen gave a low moan. "You know I'm gonna be awake all night thinking about you..."

  
Yuki laughed. "Good night, Hyun."

  
"Good night, Princess."

  
\---

  
A/N: While there is a real-life _Asano-gumi_ , this work is in no way representative of that group. Despite a couple of similarities maintained for the sake of believability, the Asano Syndicate I describe is completely fictitious. It is not my intention to appear flippant toward any existing groups.


	11. Hell Hath No Fury

The midnight hour was quickly approaching, and Zen was once again crouched on the roof, puffing on a cigarette and staring at those same stars he'd shared with Yuki just hours before. She'd been everything he could have ever hoped for, and then some; kind and lovely, perfect in her imperfection. Zen had so badly wanted to take her to bed, to lay delicate kisses across every inch of her flesh, but he had resisted for now, and that was for the best. There would be a time for that, but that time was not tonight. The delicious tension built by the wait would only make that special first moment together so much more blissful.

  
Tired from the day's excitement, Zen returned downstairs, picking up the tea cups that had been left behind earlier. A soft smudge of pink caressed the rim of one cup, and Zen pressed his lips against it, desperate for the last lingering traces of Yuki. Just as he was placing the cups in the kitchen sink, the doorbell rang. _It couldn't be..._

  
It wasn't.

  
Echo Girl stood perched on Zen's doorstep, batting her eyelashes, a coy smile on her bubblegum-pink lips. "Good evening, Zenny~"

  
"Echo Girl? What are you doing here? This time of night, I mean."

  
"Oh~ I just couldn't wait any longer to see you~" She puffed her chest out, not-so-subtly.

  
Zen placed his hand on the back of his neck, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "I apologize, now's not such a good time for a visit..."

  
"You won't regret it...I promise~"

  
"I'm not sure I understand."

  
Echo girl stepped one foot inside the house, putting a hand on Zen's chest. "I think you do..."

  
Zen stepped backward, gently lifting Echo Girl's hand off of him. "I don't think this is appropriate..."

  
"Did you know that I have natural double-D breasts?"

  
"Do you really think I'm the kind of can who can't control himself around a woman with double-D breasts?"

  
She grabbed Zen's hands. "You don't need to control yourself, Zenny...Touch me here~" She pulled his hands toward her chest.

  
Zen yanked his hands away. "I don't want to do this. You're making me uncomfortable."

  
"You...you don't like me?" Echo Girl's face scrunched up, as if she were about to cry. Then, she became angry. "You wouldn't even have this role if it weren't for me! I'm the one who suggested you to the director in the first place!"

  
"You need to go home now." Luckily, Zen spotted the woman who had been managing Echo Girl before, and flagged her down. The handler, horrified, whisked Echo Girl away before Zen could even explain what she had tried to do.

  
Zen closed the door and flopped fown on the couch. The entire experience had been completely baffling, and Zen was a little concerned about the implications. He knew that he needed to tell Yuki about this right away, lest she find out another way. She was sure to be at least a little hurt, but Zen didn't want to have any secrets from Yuki, especially after everything they had shared during their time together. There was no question about whether Yuki should know, but how Zen should go about telling her was a completely different question entirely.

  
\---

  
The RFA ringtone floated through the room, jolting Yuki from her peaceful slumber.

  
"Mmm...Hyun?" she murmured sleepily.

  
"Shit, Yuki, were you sleeping?"

  
"I was, but it's okay. What's up?"

  
Zen felt bad to have woken her, but this wasn't really something that could wait. He had thought about it, and had come to the conclusion that Yuki would probably prefer to know right away. "Yuki, there's something I need to tell you. I'm not going to do the show with Echo Girl."

  
Yuki sat up in bed, her interest piqued. "What? Why?"

  
"Well...she came to my house...and...tried to...seduce me. Apparently, she talked the director into offering me the role just so the could have the chance to get with me."

  
Suddenly very awake, Yuki's lip curled. _Hoe._ However, Yuki had no intention of displaying the ugly jealously brewing inside her. "I see...That must have been tough..."

  
"I-I didn't let her do anything, of course! Though...I am a little disappointed to have to give up a role over something as stupid as this."

  
"It wasn't an opportunity that came because of your talent. I think it's best to just forget it."

  
"It was only because of my looks. Maybe...that's the only reason I've made it this far..."

  
"Don't say that. You made it because you're talented, not just because you're handsome."

  
"Yuki...I know this must have been hard for you to hear, but I don't want you to worry about Echo Girl, okay? You're the one I like. Ever since you left, you're all I've been able to think about..."

  
"Oh?" Yuki's voice had taken a softer tone, and Zen's breath hitched in his throat.

  
"Yeah..."

  
Yuki's hand began to migrate southward. "I'm going to fall asleep thinking about you...I'll meet you in your dreams, ok?"

  
"I'll be thinking about you all night."

  
\---

  
At 8:00 pm the next day, the entertainment new program dropped a bombshell. Echo Girl had released a statement, claiming that Zen had called her to his house, and proceeded to sexually harrass her. 

  
Zen felt like he might throw up. He stared at the television wide-eyed, his mouth dry, his hands shaking, This was it. This was the end. There was no way anyone would take his word over Echo Girl's. He simply didn't have the same cultural currency. His words carried no weight compared to hers.

  
Yuki watched as her class exited the studio, faintly overhearing a conversation between two students. "Can you believe what happened to Echo Girl?"

  
_Oh...Oh no._ She whipped out her phone and ran a quick search on news for Echo Girl. She read the press briefing with wide eyes, and the coffee in her stomach threatened to make an encore appearance. She sank back down onto the couch, clamping her hand over her mouth.

  
Of course she didn't believe a word of it. _Fucking lying bitch! She better hope we never meet, or she'll be sure to catch these hands._ Before she could read too much into it, Zen called her.

  
"Hyun! Are you okay?"

  
"I-I...It's all over, Yuki..."

  
"Hyun...first try to calm down. Don't let the media get you!"

  
"I'm so sorry..."

  
"You have nothing to apologize for...Echo Girl's the one who lied! Please don't let it get to you."

  
"For her, this is just a publicity stunt...but this could really ruin everything for me..."

  
"I can't believe they're using you like this...I'm so mad, but I know this is hardest for you."

  
"I should have given up the role the second I realized she was interested..."

  
"You did nothing wrong. No actor would have turned down that opportunity. You know that."

  
"I should call my agent...and maybe Jumin too...he might have some useful information about Echo Girl, since she's modeled for his company before."

  
"Okay. Please don't hesitate to call me when you're ready to talk some more."

  
"Yuki..."

  
"Yes?"

  
"Thank you...for everything."

  
"Anything for you, Hyun."

  
Yuki remained calm long enough to lock up her office, walk downstairs, and climb into her car, where she let out a long string of obscenities. When she had finished, she slipped her cell phone back out and made a quick call.

  
"707, I need to ask for a favor."

  
\---

  
A/N: I am fully aware that I phoned it in on this chapter, and I am sorry.


	12. Bombshell

A/N: Just a heads-up, there is explicit sexual content in this chapter. It's in the second-to-last section, if you are trying to avoid it.

\---

Yuki shoved her face into the pillow and gave an angry whine, the Gordian knot in her stomach twisting itself a little tighter. Knowing that sleep wouldn't come easily tonight, she'd hit the sack around midnight, only to lay here, wide-awake, for what seemed like hours on end. Zen had never called back after their initial conversation about Echo Girl's dirty deeds, and that fact gnawed at Yuki, her brain fabricating all manner of awful conclusions. Concluding that sleep might not come until she'd heard Zen's voice, confirming that he was, at the very least, alive, she grabbed her phone off the nightstand and gave him a call, trying to ignore now needy this might make her seem.

  
"Yuki?"

  
"Hyun...I'm sorry for calling this late, but I never heard back from you, and...I got worried about you. I'm so glad to hear your voice."

  
Zen felt a sharp twinge in his chest. "Oh, Yuki...I'm sorry I made you worry. I should have called you back."

  
"No, no. It's okay. I was just being dramatic. I understand if maybe you just wanted to be alone for a while. How are you feeling?"

  
"To be honest, not much better. I'm actually a little frightened. I think there's someone outside my house..." Zen moved over to the window to lift the curtain ever so slightly for a peek.

  
"Oh my god! Should we call the police?"

  
"No...I think it's just a rogue reporter." He was silent for a few moments, biting his lip. "Yuki...I don't think things are going to get any better."

  
"Don't think that! Be confident!"

  
"Just when I got that stupid cast off, and things were starting to look up...Now everyone thinks I'm a shitbag..."

  
"Don't let their opinions get to you. If you didn't do anything wrong, then act so."

  
For the first time since Echo Girl's press release, Zen smiled. It wasn't a big smile, by anyone's measure, but it was a smile nonetheless, a step in the right direction. "I really don't deserve someone as kind and understanding and supportive as you..."

  
"Don't say that. I'd come to you and comfort you right now if I could." Yuki found herself smiling as well.

  
"I think...I might go for a motorcycle ride. I think it might help clear my head a little, the cold wind in my face...I have this spot in the mountains, no one knows about it, and I can just be alone, and look at the stars...Yuki, they're so much brighter out there. Maybe in the future, I can take you and show you."

  
"Then it'll be our secret place...but...weren't you in an accident riding your motorcycle before? Are you sure it'll be safe?"

  
"Don't worry, I ride a lot more carefully than I used to. I was so reckless back then. I'll make sure to come back to you in one piece."

  
"Okay then, I'll have to trust you. Be safe Hyun."

  
"I will. Try to rest now, Yuki."

  
"Good night, Hyun."

  
"Good night...Oh, Yuki?"

  
"Yes?"

  
"Ah...Never mind. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

  
"...Okay. See you later."

  
Yuki placed the phone back on the nightstand, feeling a bit more relaxed than before. The knot in her stomach persisted, but it had loosened, at the very least. She stared at the ceiling, hoping that maybe she could fall asleep out of sheer boredom. _What was it that he wanted to say to me?_ Yuki had a faint idea of what it might be, but she didn't want to flatter herself too much. Still, the idea of Zen uttering those three words to her did bring some comfort on what had been such an ugly day.

  
\---

  
Before she could even realize that she had managed to catch a few hours of sleep, Yuki was awake again. Her slumber had been fitful, racked with surrealist horror-shows posing as dreams. Now, she was here again, staring at that same ceiling, feeling gratitude for her unexpected five hours of rest. Momentarily, she was flooded with the desire to call Zen once more, just to check in, but Yuki quickly repressed that thought, realizing that he'd ridden out to the mountains to get away for a bit, and that constant phone calls wouldn't really help. Fortunately, her craving for conversation was satisfied when her phone sounded, signaling that Jaehee had opened a new chat.

  
"Yuki, have you heard from Zen recently? No one's been able to get a hold of him. I'm starting to get worried."

  
"I called to check on him last night around 3:00. He told me that he wanted to ride his motorcycle out to the mountains to be alone for a little while. I think he's going through a rough time."

  
"I can't help but wonder...if his career will be able to recover from this."

  
"Everything is against him right now, but I'm sure everything will be fine once he gets his energy back." Whether this was true, Yuki couldn't be sure, but she needed to be positive now, to be strong for Zen.

  
"I'm not so sure. Something like this...might really damage his reputation beyond repair."

  
"I'm a bit sad to hear you say that."

  
"I hate to be negative, but coming back from this just seems impossible."

  
"How can we get through this situation?"

  
"I honestly don't know, Yuki. We just don't have the same resources as Echo Girl and her team."

  
"Why doesn't he just explain the truth to the public?"

  
"It's not that simple. It's Zen's word against Echo Girl's. Unfortunately, the public is always more apt to believe the person that is more famous. Besides, they have photos of Echo Girl actually being at his house. They have physical support for their claim. We have no such thing. For now, it's best that all of us lay low and avoid making any claims until we can support them beyond a shadow of a doubt."

  
"I understand. We have to do what's best for Hyun. Good luck with work today, Jaehee."

  
Yuki sighed loudly, running her hands through her hair. Once again, she was stuck sitting on her hands, unable to actively do anything to help Zen. She was merely allowed to participate passively, doing something only by doing nothing. She flopped backward on the bed, groaning with frustration. _I need to caffeinate._

  
She rolled out of bed and went to put the kettle on. In the meantime, she would run down to the convenience store on the corner, as the past five or so days had completely decimated her pack of cigarettes. She paid for her Morleys, averting her eyes from the news program that was currently ripping Zen a new asshole, and giving a disapproving _tch_.

  
"It's such a shame, isn't it?" the cashier asked her. "Why do people do have to do things like that?"

  
"I just don't know anymore..." she answered absently, summoning the full breadth of her willpower to avoid burning this poor employee with the hottest tea she'd ever had in her life.

  
\---

  
Yuki sat perched by the window, a cup of tea in her hand and a cigarette in her mouth. She needed to be getting ready for work soon, as life didn't stop just because a boy she liked was having difficulties. For the time-being however, Yuki preferred to stay still, indulging in whichever poor coping mechanisms best suited her in that moment. Her phone vibrated at her feet, sending her ash tray skittering a few inches across the hardwood floor.

  
She clumsily snatched it up, desperate to hear from Zen. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be seen, but maybe the other RFA members would have some news, or at least a battle plan.

  
"Yuki, I'm worried about Zen..."

  
"I'm worried too, Yoosung."

  
"Where do you think he went?"

  
"Probably to that hidden spot in the mountains," Jumin answered.

  
"How did you know about that?" Yuki asked, genuinely baffled.

  
"That's where I met Zen for the first time."

  
"Wow...How was it, meeting him for the first time?"

  
"Honestly, he was a little shit. I offered him fantastic opportunities in some of C&R's projects, with incredibly generous compensation, and he turned it all down."

  
"I can see Hyun being less-than-enthusiastic about that."

  
"He said that he wanted to earn his opportunities, to prove himself."

  
"I guess he said that because his parents never approved of his dreams..."

  
"You and Zen must have talked a lot while you were together!" Yoosung interjected.

  
Despite the fact that she was currently alone, Yuki could feel her face growing hot. They had talked a lot, and not all of their conversations were exactly...appropriate for sharing.

  
Jumin rescued Yuki from her momentary embarrassment by changing the subject. "Oh, Seven called me earlier today."

  
"Because he's worried about Hyun?"

  
"Yes, he's planning to work his magic to gather as much information as he can about Echo Girl. Maybe he can find something that will help us expose her."

  
"Do you think that will help?"

  
"I do. In the meantime, I'm going to go talk to Zen. I know he's not too fond of me, but I'm going to talk to him about an opportunity...One that doesn't involve cats this time."

  
"Jumin...That's awesome. Please take care of Hyun."

  
Jumin logged out, leaving Yuki alone with Yoosung, who still seemed concerned. "Yuki, I don't think anyone's asked how you're doing with this. I know you must be hurting too..."

  
"Yes...but now that everyone is helping, I can't help but be positive and think that everything will work out okay."

  
Yuki ground out her cigarette and stood up. Maybe sitting and waiting seemed useless, but sitting around and feeling sorry for herself was even worse. She needed to be strong now, along with everyone else. RFA was going to war, and Yuki had a fist with Echo Girl's name on it.

  
\---

  
Her first class of the afternoon only about a half-hour away, Yuki pulled into the parking lot by the Fine Arts complex. Parking at Daesun had recently become an extreme sport, as several parking lots had been eliminated, making room for a new business building and sports complex. _The Fine Art buildings have asbestos, but yeah, let's get rid of parking for a new sports complex._ Fortunately for Yuki, faculty parking was separate from the students', and she easily hunted down a spot. She grabbed her handbag out of the passenger seat and headed upstairs to her office to print out rubric sheets in preparation for the second-year painting critique that would immediately follow her twelve o'clock drawing studio.

  
The printer hummed, spitting out page after identical page. Yuki stared at it absently, wondering if Jumin was having any luck finding Zen. Seeming to sense her craving for news, her phone vibrated, alerting Yuki to Jaehee and Seven's online presence.

  
"I keep trying to get a hold of Mr. Han, but he's not picking up." Jaehee's frustration was almost palpable.

  
"That's not good."

  
"We need him here. And we need Zen to come back as well. He can't hide out in the mountains forever!"

  
"Didn't Jumin say he'd help with that?"

  
"Did he? I guess he conveniently forgot to let me know before he left."

  
_I can't believe he neglected to tell his assistant where he was going. Even if he put it in the chat, he still should have told her...How absent-minded of him._ "Yes. He's going after Hyun, to try and talk to him."

  
"Wow...I guess I can't be too mad about that. We should all be doing what we can right now to help."

  
"It makes me feel so happy to see how everyone is trying to help. Maybe Hyun will see this and cheer up a little. Seven, have you found any information about Echo Girl yet?"

  
"I found a couple of things. It seems like she was involved in a Zen fan club, at least at one point. Some of her social media posts also seem to indicate that she was a fan. It's not enough by itself, but if I can find other information, especially specific plans to go to Zen's house, it might bust this whole thing wide open."

  
"That's awesome! Please keep up the good work! I have a class starting soon, so I have to go now. Both of you, please take care."

  
Yuki closed out of the application and headed down the hallway to the drawing studio, where several students had started setting up their drawing boards and sharpening their pencils. The previous night's cynicism had begun to wane, and she couldn't help but feel optimistic. Everyone had committed themselves to doing whatever they could to help, and that kind of determination and man-power had to put them at an advantage. _Hyun, please come back to us soon._

  
\---

  
Critique days could be grueling, especially when Yuki's class suddenly decided to not have opinions about anything. However, this one had been excellent. Not only had her students given each other a lot of useful feedback, but they'd managed to finish an hour early, and Yuki had been able to return to the apartment by 5:30. Wanting a fresh start, she'd hopped in the shower, letting the hot water wash away the last of her pessimism. She had just stepped out of the shower when the RFA ringtone echoed off the tiled walls of the bathroom, delivering the phone call she'd been anticipating all day.

  
"Hyun!"

  
"Hey, babe. I'm back from my little trip." Zen's voice sounded more cheerful now. It seemed that he had been right about the benefits of his motorcycle ride.

  
"You're safe, right? I'm so glad. Do you feel better?"

  
"I do. When I got back to my house, I found some gifts on my doorstep. Some of my fans came by and left them for me, to remind me that they still care."

  
"That's so touching..."

  
"Also...Jumin came looking for me. He offered me the opportunity to do some advertising for a teacup company that his group just acquired. But...I ended up accepting the offer for the cat food commercial..."

  
"R-really? Are you sure?" _You're gonna be sneezing your head off._

  
"Yes. It's my way of apologizing for how I've acted toward him over the years."

  
"Okay...As always, I'm watch and support you."

  
"I think from now on, Jumin and I can understand each other a little better."

  
"I'm glad. You're starting to heal from the hurt in your past."

  
"I think I'm going to go wash up from my adventure now...Have you washed up yet today? Maybe we can wash together sometime..." Zen laughed.

  
Yuki smirked. _Aaaaaand he's back._ "I like the way you think, Hyun."

  
Caught off-guard, Zen choked a little, and Yuki cackled at his strangled response.

  
"Yuki...umm...after this is all sorted out, I'm going to officially ask you to be my girlfriend...Y-you don't have to give me an answer right now, of course!" He laughed nervously. "But...think about it, okay? I'll talk to you later."

  
Yuki tapped her finger against her lip, considering an idea that had seeped into her brain. She opened the front-facing camera and held her towel strategically, just barely covering the tips of her breasts, but pushing them up slightly to create a nice bit of cleavage. She smirked playfully at the screen and started the camera self-timer. "To answer your question, I have washed up today."

  
Zen gazed at Yuki's photo, biting his lip, his fingertips lightly grazing the front of his pants. It seemed that his shower was going to run a little longer than he had initially anticipated.

  
Yuki picked up a container of strawberries, examining their condition before placing them in her cart. She had decided to take advantage of her early arrival home, and was now doing a little grocery shopping, as her food stores were growing sparse. Her phone dinged inside her bag, and, not really considering the implications, opened the new photo message.

  
"Just for you, babe~"

  
Yuki gave a little yelp of surprise, almost dropping her phone as she quickly shoved it back into her bag. Face bright red, she whipped her head from side-to-side, checking to make sure no one else had seen the photo. A couple of customers seemed confused by her sudden reaction, but that was it.

  
She leaned her back against a wall, taking another surreptitious glance at the smutty image. _So the carpet DOES match the drapes...Forget spaghetti, I know what I want for dinner..._

  
\---

  
Yuki loaded her in-progress painting into the back of her car, as she planned to talk about it with one of the Daesun grad students the next day. She headed back upstairs, yawning loudly. The past two sleepless nights had begun to take their toll, as Yuki couldn't function without sleep the way she'd been able to during undergrad. That had been the first sign that she was getting older. The second had been her excitement to watch a documentary on PBC. Yuki brushed her teeth and applied her skincare products before climbing into bed, excited for a good-night's sleep. She'd just closed her eyes when her phone rang again.

  
"Hey, what's up?"

  
"Babe, I wanted to tell you. I've got another plan to try and fix everything."

  
"Oh yeah? What is it?"

  
"I asked Jumin to arrange for a press conference to be held at the party. I'm going to explain everything."

  
"That's a great idea. It's always best to be honest."

  
"I'm finally feeling excited for the party again. I'm dying to see you...Maybe...you could come over again after the party."

  
Yuki grinned to herself, remembering the photos they had exchanged earlier. "What do you want to do this time?"

  
"Yuki...I...hah..." Zen was clearly at a loss for words.

  
"Maybe...you can do a re-enactment of the photo you sent me earlier."

  
Zen's breath hitched, and his voice deepened. "Would you like that, babe?"

  
"I wanna see that pretty cock of yours again..."

  
_Fuck, Yuki...You really get right to the point, don't you..._ Zen yanked his pants down, teasing himself lightly between his thumb and index finger. "What else would you like?"

  
"I'd like to do what we couldn't on Sunday. Maybe you should refresh my memory?" Yuki slipped her hand between her legs, her fingers tracing wet circles.

  
"If I'd had my way, I'd have put you on your back right there on the roof, hiked your dress up, and made you scream my name."

  
"Mmmm...I'm not sure I want it like that...I wanna ride you."

  
Zen gasped at the thought, his cock twitching in response. "Yuki...Are you touching yourself right now?"

  
"Mmhmm...I'd advise you to do the same." That was all the encouragement Zen needed. He gripped his arousal tightly and started rapidly stroking it.

  
"Does it feel good? Doing that while thinking about me?"

  
"So good...Does it feel good for you too?" Yuki sped up her ministrations.

  
Zen gave a low moan. "It feels incredible, babe...though...I have to admit, this isn't the first time I've done it..."

  
"While thinking of me?" Yuki's breathing had grown more ragged, her moans coming more loudly and frequently than before.

  
"Right...Shit, Yuki...I can't wait to feel you on me...to _fuck_ you..."

  
A great shuddering cry escaped Yuki as she hit her peak, her back arching as she rode it out, whimpering softly. "Hyun..."

  
Zen groaned, the faint sound of Yuki's moans pushing him closer. "Yuki...I'm gonna..." A sharp pant escaped him as he came, gripping the bed-sheets tightly. "Yuki..."

  
They both lay in their respective beds for a few short moments, panting. Zen was the first to speak. "Okay, the next time you make noises like that, it needs to be from me, buried deep inside you."

  
\---

  
Yuki's blissful slumber was rudely interrupted when Seven called her suddenly at 2:00 in the morning.

  
"Mmmph...What is it, Seven?"

  
"Yuki, thank God."

  
Yuki cocked her head, hearing the panic in his voice. "Seven, is something wrong?"

  
"Something's...happened."

  
"Is it about Hyun?" Yuki sat up, worried. Had things suddenly gotten much worse in the three hours since she'd passed out from pure satisfaction?

  
"No, Zen's fine. Listen. Your apartment has a special security system..."

  
"A special security system? Why would I need that?"

  
"It was designed to protect the confidential information in that apartment."

  
"Was the hacker after this information?"

  
"I think so. I've found traces of hacking there. The system's been tampered with. Instead of allowing in RFA members and trapping intruders, it's the other way around. If an RFA member tries to enter or exit the apartment, it might...explode..."

  
"Oh my god! Are you saying there's a bomb here?!"

  
"...Yes."

  
"So the bomb might go off?"

  
"Only if an RFA member tries to enter the unit. Or, if you try to exit; though that's only about a one-in-one-thousand chance. Please don't risk it, though."

  
"So what am I supposed to do, Seven?!" Yuki began to grow hysterical.

  
"I'm going to fix this, Yuki. I swear to God. For now, just stay put. Don't exit the apartment, or let anyone in. You should be safe. Please trust me to sort this out."

  
"There's no other choice. I'll have to trust you."

  
\---

  
A/N: We now return to our regularly-scheduled sin.

 


	13. Damsel in Distress

Yuki staggered backward, cowering in the strange man's presence. "W-what do you want from me?"

  
"I've come to take you away to paradise, Princess. Won't you come along with me?" He reached out to her, offering his hand. Yuki flinched at the movement before slapping his hand away.

  
"P-please leave. I don't want anything to do with you!"

  
The man sighed, shaking his head. "And here I was, hoping we'd be able to do this the easy way..." Yuki winced in pain as he grabbed her wrist forcefully.

  
"Yuki, no!" Zen sat up in bed, his heart racing. He clutched at his chest, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating. _A dream?...No, not just a dream..._

  
He grabbed his phone, desperate to confirm that Yuki was safe. Well, as safe as she could be, considering the circumstances. Seven had called him at nearly 3:00 in the morning, explaining about that nasty bomb business. Zen opened a new chat, praying that Yuki would join him online.

  
Fortunately, she did so almost immediately, followed by Jaehee. "Yuki, thank god. Is everything okay there? As okay as it can be?"

  
"I haven't noticed any changes. Thank you for worrying."

  
"I don't like that you have to stay there."

  
"I know. I'm not exactly a fan of this either, but for now, I think it's best to do as Seven says."

  
"Maybe...we should put the party on hold. Your safety should be the top priority right now," Jaehee suggested.

  
Yuki sighed. After everything they'd gone through over the past week, she didn't want all of their hard work to go to waste. "I want to proceed with the party. We've all worked so hard for this; it'd be a shame to throw it all away now."

  
"Yuki...No one's tried to break into that apartment today, right?"

  
"What? Why?"

  
"I-I just had a feeling..."

  
"What, did you have a psychic dream or something?"

  
"Whoa! How did you guess?! I did have a dream- about someone trying to break in to kidnap you!"

  
"Was I in your dream then?"

  
"Yes. This man- he wanted you to come away with him, and you didn't want to. He grabbed you, HURT you...Then I woke up."

  
Jaehee felt sick. Zen had seen things in dreams before, things that had later come true. She wanted to believe that this would just be a fluke, a result of Zen's worry, but she had to acknowledge the possibility that this was another prophecy. "Oh my God..."

  
"Hyun...I'm scared."

  
"Just hold on, Yuki. I'm going to come get you."

  
"How? The address is a secret."

  
"I'll get it. Just sit tight a while longer."

  
_Did you forget there's a bomb here, dingus?_ "But Seven said, if you come here, the system might activate."

  
"Shit. You're right. I need to wait until Seven resets it."

  
_No shit._ "Yes, I think that's better."

  
"I'm going to call him now, to see if he's close to fixing it. I'll talk to you soon. Be safe."

  
Jaehee rubbed her forehead. "Zen is not thinking clearly right now, I'm afraid."

  
"I'm worried that Hyun will go out of his way. He doesn't need to do so much. Everything will be fine."

  
"I hope that is the case, Yuki. For now, I should go and inform Mr. Han about Zen's dream. Please continue to be cautious."

  
"Okay...It sucks that this is happening, but we'll get through it."

  
Yuki groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. She could feel a migraine trying to develop in the right hemisphere of her brain. She swallowed a couple of Tiaranol and set about preparing a few things. There was a very good chance that she might need to leave this apartment in a hurry, once Seven gave the all-clear, or if someone did try to intrude. She packed a set of clothes, a set of pajamas, and a few toiletries into a backpack and placed it by the door with her handbag. Deciding it would be best to be ready to go at a moment's notice, she dressed herself, slipping on a plaid flannel shirt and a pair of black leggings, and tying a pair of high-tops tightly on her feet. Suddenly realizing that she hadn't made any arrangements for her classes, she unlocked her phone and placed a call to one of the painting graduate students.

  
"Chae-Young? Listen- Is there any way you can cover my studios today?"

  
\---

  
Yuki sat perched on a chair in the kitchen, chainsmoking and trying in vain to distract herself from her current predicament by browsing social media. Cigarette smoking hung lazily in the air, as Yuki didn't dare open a window, lest she activate the security system and get smoked herself. This was one bitch of an unsatisfactory situation. Even the Rob Boss videos she'd watched on MeTube couldn't help her relax.

  
Yuki stuck the next cigarette in her mouth and opened the RFA messenger, seeing that both Yoosung and Seven were online. If she couldn't calm herself down, maybe she could at least get an update on the situation.

  
"Yuki, are you okay right now?" Yoosung asked.

  
"I'm okay," Yuki lied. "But Seven, have you talked to Hyun? He seems really worried."

  
"I did. He did seem really nervous. I did my best to reassure him of your safety."

  
"I am safe, right?" Yuki bit her lip.

  
"Yes. Please just wait a little while longer. I'll have this fixed soon. I hope to have the security system reconfigured within the next five hours."

  
"I'll stay here just as you said."

  
"Seven, you wanted me to go through all of these files, right?"

  
"Yes. Everything in the folder that I showed you."

  
"Okay. Yuki, I need to get back to work now, stay safe."

  
"?"

  
"Oh, Yoosung came over to help with some of my responsibilities. He's currently going through all of Echo Girl's online records to see if there's anything we can use to prove Zen's innocence."

  
"Oh! That's important too. Please do a good job, Yoosung." Yuki couldn't help but feel a little guilty for having almost completely forgotten about the Echo Girl thing. _Well, sitting on a ticking time bomb will do that to you, I guess._

  
"I'll go as well. The sooner I get back to work, the sooner the security system gets reset."

  
"Alright, good luck, Seven."

  
The urge to take a nap started to take Yuki, but she repressed it, getting up to make a pot of coffee. She needed to stay alert, vigilant. She searched the apartment for something that could be used as a make-shift sword. They hadn't made her captain of the girls' kendo team for nothing. If anyone should come for her, _Asano-nee_ would be ready and waiting, trusty sword...er...broom at her side.

  
\---

  
Finally, four and a half hours later, Seven called Yuki back.

  
"Okay, Yuki," he sighed, "I finally have some news for you."

  
"Is it about my safety?"

  
"Yes. I was able to reverse the hacker's alterations to the security system. The bomb will not detonate if any of us enter or exit the apartment."

  
Yuki breathed an audible sigh of relief. "Seven, that's music to my ears. Thank you."

  
"Unfortunately, I've had to completely disable the security system. The apartment is still passcode-protected, of course, but there's no longer a second line of defense."

  
"Oh...Would it be possible for me to leave, and go somewhere safe?"

  
"I wish that were possible. However, I have to ask you to stay there for the time-being."

  
"What? Why?"

  
"V hasn't given me the green light for you to leave. He's on a plane right now, so I can't reach him. I've left him a message letting him know to call me as soon as he lands."

  
"Oh...I see. I hope he lands soon. I don't feel so good about staying here without any kind of safe-guard."

  
"I know, I'll-...I gotta go, Yuki. Yoosung says that there's someone at the door."

  
"Okay. Contact me as soon as you hear anything."

  
Somehow, Yuki felt less safe now. She didn't have to worry about getting blown into a million pieces, but now there was nothing in place to discourage intruders, no consequence for breaking and entering. What if Zen was right about someone trying to kidnap her? It would be easier than ever to sneak in and snatch her up. Yuki tightened her grip on the broom.

  
\---

  
"And how exactly am I supposed to know how to say 'I want to be your cat' in Arabic? Why would you pick a phrase like that, anyway?

  
Seven shrugged. "It has to be something that only I know."

  
Zen sighed, shaking his head. "Anyway, I need you to help me. I need you to tell me the address of the apartment."

  
"I'm sorry. I can't tell you. V has told me to keep it confidential."

  
"V doesn't know what's happening right now! You said yourself, he's on a plane right now! Do you really think if he knew that Yuki was sitting there in that apartment, alone, without any kind of security measures, that he wouldn't at least send someone to take her somewhere safer?"

  
Seven sighed. He knew that Zen was right. V wouldn't be okay with this, with letting Yuki be a sitting duck. "I just...don't want to act without consulting V, and then have something go terribly wrong. I'd never forgive myself."

  
"And what if something happens because we didn't do anything?"

  
"Okay, okay. I'm going to give you very specific instructions."

  
\---

  
Yuki swore that she had to be wearing a deep groove in the floor as she paced in circles, restless. She'd drunk an entire pot of coffee on her own; perhaps there was such thing as too much caffeine. Though, she needed to stay alert. If someone came through that door, or that window, or, hell, even up through the damn toilet, it was critical that Yuki strike first and claim an advantage. Her phone rang, making her jump a solid ten centimeters off the floor.

  
"Yuki, are you still safe?"

  
_You almost gave me a heart attack, Yoosung, but yeah._ "I'm fine. Did something happen?"

  
"Well, kind of...Oh! It's not anything bad though!" Yoosung wanted to explain to her what had happened, so that she could relax a little, but decided against it, thinking it might be nicer for Yuki to be surprised.

  
"Has Seven heard from V yet?"

  
"No, I don't think his flight has landed yet."

  
"He's planning on coming to the party tomorrow, right?"

  
"I think so. He's flying into ICN."

  
"I hope everything gets cleared up in time for the party tomorrow."

  
"We're working hard to fix everything. It'll all be okay, especially now that your knight in shining armor is on the way."

  
"Knight in shining armor?"

  
_Oops, I guess I let it slip._ "I-I have to get back to work now. Talk to you later!"

  
What on earth had Yoosung meant by "knight in shining armor?" _Is...Is Hyun coming for me?_ Yuki smiled gently.

  
A loud crash coming from the main room interrupted Yuki's romantic daydreams.

  
\---

  
Yuki stampeded into the main room, wielding her broom fiercely, all-too-ready to throw down. The white-haired man moved swiftly toward her, staring with intense turquoise eyes.

  
"I'm so glad to finally meet you in person...Yuki." The bottom half of the young man's face was covered with black fabric, but Yuki could have sworn that he was sneering at her.

  
"Who are you?" Yuki moved as she spoke, maneuvering so that she was closer than he was to the door. Maybe she could escape.

  
"Just an angel sent to bring you to paradise."

  
"Angel my ass. What do you want?" She assumed the _chudan no kamae_ stance, her muscles tensed and ready to strike. Though, she had to admit, the stance was far less dignified when wielding a broom in place of a sword.

  
"To take you to paradise, to the everlasting party, Miss Asano."

  
"Why should I listen to you? How do you know my name?"

  
"Because you were chosen, princess. Paradise isn't just for anyone. I brought you here because you are special."

  
Something clicked in Yuki's brain in that moment. "You want the support of the _Asano-gumi_ , don't you. This is a strategic move. Recruit the family head's precious granddaughter, and the whole syndicate falls at your feet, right?" Her eyes flashed. "You'll never take me alive."

  
"What do you intend to do, commit _seppuku_? I think your "sword's" a little too blunt for-"

  
The man's sentence was cut short when Zen burst into the apartment. "Yuki, the door was open. What were you-" Zen froze, seeing the strange man from his vision, confronted by Yuki. Though, this Yuki was decidedly more aggressive than the one his subconscious had depicted.

  
Yuki's focus broke at the sound of Zen's voice, and the man took that brief moment of confusion to grab Yuki around the shoulders, pulling her backward. She thrashed about in his grip, howling like a wild animal. "Let me go you shit-ass motherfucker! I'll ram that broom handle right up your ass! I'll unscrew your fucking head!" Zen lurched forward, to attempt to pull Yuki away.

  
"Not so fast," the man crowed. He held up a switch. "Keep moving and I'll press this button, and we'll all go up."

  
Zen froze, baring his teeth in anger. "Yuki..."

  
"Hyun. Get back. I'm fine."

  
"I'll be taking your precious princess now...I- AAAGHH!" The stranger shrieked as Yuki sank her teeth into the flesh of his hand, drawing blood. He pulled away instinctively, giving Yuki the perfect opening to deck the man right in the face with a swift uppercut, knocking him out cold, the switch rolling out of his hand harmlessly.

  
"Run!" Yuki grabbed Zen's hand and dragged him along behind her as she sprinted out of the apartment, throwing her backpack over her shoulders. They hurried down the stairs and out the front door, where Zen's motorcycle was waiting. Yuki wrapped her arms around him as he revved the engine, the two of them speeding away to safety as the building's windows blew out, smoke billowing through as the brick walls crumbled away. Yuki winced at the sound, pressing her face against Zen's back as they fled the scene.

\---

A/N: A little teaser for Chapter 14, anyone? (NSFW)

http://squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com/post/156500923996/a-little-teaser-for-chapter-14-im-sorry


	14. Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight

\---

Zen lounged on the couch, cradling Yuki against him as she dozed. She'd come down from her adrenaline high soon after arriving at the house. Zen had left her in the living room while he went to get a glass of water from the kitchen, only to come back to find her nodding off while sitting straight up. He ran his fingers through Yuki's hair absently as he watched her sleep, completely enraptured. He took a moment to make sure she was out cold before leaning down a little to inhale the scent of her hair. _Cigarette smoke. Poor Yuki's probably gone through half a pack today alone..._

  
Zen's phone suddenly sounded, and he jumped, jostling Yuki awake as well.

  
"Shit, Yuki, I'm sorry. My phone startled me when it went off."

  
"Mmmph...It's okay. Oh...did we let anyone know that we made it back safely?"

  
"I...don't think so."

  
Yuki rolled off the couch and padded over to where she'd ditched her bags, pulling out her phone and logging onto the RFA app, along with Zen.

  
"Yuki, Zen, are you safe?" Seven's panic was apparent in his message.

  
"I'm at Hyun's house now. We're safe."

  
"We're safe NOW, Seven. Yuki should never have been left alone without any kind of a security system! We're lucky she's got a mean uppercut, or god knows what would have happened to her!"

  
"Hyun...calm down. I'm safe."

  
"He's right, Yuki. I was too hesitant to act, and it almost got you kidnapped, or worse. I'm sorry. You're weren't injured, were you?"

  
"No. Thanks to Hyun, I wasn't hurt."

  
"Yuki, you need to stay here tonight. It might be too dangerous for you to go out. Besides...I can't stand to let you out of my sight right now." Zen looked up from his phone to meet Yuki's eyes. She bit her lip, momentarily looking like she might cry. That is, until their phones booped with Seven's response.

  
"I agree with Zen. I think it's best that you stay put. I believe Jumin will be sending a couple of bodyguards to stay posted outside the house, just in case."

  
"Okay :)"

  
"Again, Yuki, I'm so sorry for what happened. I hope you can forgive me."

  
"Already done. Seven, you did your best. Thank you for giving Hyun the address."

  
Gently, Zen took Yuki's hands in his own. "Yuki, I-" He was interrupted by a loud growl emitting from Yuki's stomach. Slightly embarrassed, Yuki made a funny face and Zen couldn't help but laugh.

"Yuki, are you hungry?"

  
"I-I don't think I've eaten anything today. Coffee and cigarettes, that's all I've had."

  
"Oh shit, Yuki. You need to eat something. I can make you some soup pretty quickly. Does that sound good?"

  
Yuki nodded. "You could offer me a hot dog that's been laying on the ground outside for 2 days and I'd probably eat it." Zen laughed, glad that Yuki's vibrant personality seemed to be returning. "Would if be okay if I used your shower while you cook? I know I should help, but..."

  
"No, no, please- feel free to take a shower. After the day you've had, you just need to relax."

  
"Ah~ Thanks!" She dug her toiletry bag out of her backpack, along with some clean underwear, thanking her lucky stars that she'd brought a nice-looking pair.

  
_So cute..._ Zen wished he could follow her into the bathroom. Yuki had made her desires pretty clear the night before. However, it didn't yet seem like the time was quite right. Zen didn't quite know how to initiate, not having been in this situation before. Yuki had seemed pretty keen on being an active participant; maybe she would end up being the one coming on to him. Maybe everything would work itself out organically. Zen shook his head as he selected a can of soup from the cabinet, pushing the thoughts away. _She's already been through so much today; I don't want her to feel pressured to do anything she's not comfortable with. I need to try to hold back as much as possible._

  
\---

  
"Are you sure I can't make you a cup of tea, or get you a beer, or anything?"

  
"Hyun, relax. I'm okay. If I need anything, I can get it." Ever since they'd fled the apartment, Zen had been handling Yuki with kid gloves. She'd been cuddled, fed, and had even had a nap. Ironically, her shower had been the one thing she'd been permitted to do by herself. Zen even spoke gently to her now. Yuki felt that she had more than proved that she was able to take care of herself. "You're acting weird."

  
"Yuki, in the past 24 hours, you've been notified that you were living in an apartment that was rigged with a bomb, you were almost abducted, and you escaped a building that exploded just moments after you exited. What's weird is you acting completely unbothered by any of it. I don't believe for a minute that you weren't scared at any point today."

  
"I was scared. Then. Now, I'm fresh out of fucks to give. I'm safe." She raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I'll wake up in the middle of the night absolutely terrified, and maybe then I'll need you to comfort me. But right now, I'm good. I'm looking forward to the party tomorrow. You can stop walking on eggshells. If I need anything, I promise I'll ask you." She shifted her eyes to the side. "I'm okay because I feel safe here, with you."

  
Zen started to speak, but was interrupted by both of their cell phones pinging in tandem.

  
Jumin greeted them. "I'm so glad both of you are safe now."

  
"Yes, Hyun is taking good care of me." Yuki shot Zen a brief glance.

  
"I can't believe this happened. It was just as Zen predicted." Jaehee was dumbfounded.

  
"Well, at least everyone's safe. Now we can focus on the party tomorrow!"

  
Yoosung joined them online. "I've got good news!"

  
"Oh, yes. You've been looking for evidence we can use against Echo Girl, right?"

  
"Yeah! We have a witness now who can confirm that Echo Girl was a fan of Zen's! The man who sells the goldfish-shaped bread near Zen's house!"

  
"Oh HELL yes. She'll get a nice taste of bofa."

  
"What's bofa?" Yoosung asked innocently.

  
"BOFA DEEZ NUTS." Yuki knew this was petty, but she didn't particularly care right now, especially as she heard Zen snicker beside her. "Yoosung, you did so well!"

  
Jaehee waited until Jumin and Yoosung had signed off before responding again. "Yuki, Zen, I have something I need to say."

  
"Go ahead, Jaehee."

  
"Over the past week, I've spent a lot of time discouraging the two of you from getting close. I believed that I was trying to prevent Zen from becoming involved in a scandal, but now I see that a scandal can arise out of absolutely nothing. I also see that I let my own subjectivity cloud my judgment. I thought that I knew what was best for Zen, but now I realize that he needs to determine that for himself. Besides, at this point, I think Zen's fans would be happy for him to have a committed relationship with a woman that he treasures and treats with kindness and respect. I can see that you make each other happy, and if that's the case, then it's not my place to interfere."

  
Yuki's heart swelled. "Jaehee...Thank you for saying that."

  
"If you'd like, you can come visit soon and we can watch some of my DVDs of Zen's performances. We could even make an evening of it and get dinner before."

  
"I'd really like that, Jaehee."

  
"For now, let's do what we can to make tomorrow's party the best we've ever had."

  
"Yes, let's do our best."

  
"Make sure to get a good night's sleep. You'll want to be well-rested for the last-minute preparations tomorrow."

  
Yuki knew very well that she'd be up late tonight, but she didn't need to share this with Jaehee. "Yes, I'll try to rest soon. Hang in there, Jaehee."

  
Yuki responded to a couple of last-minute messages from party guests, confirming that they would be attending before standing up. "Hyun, I'm going to have a cup of tea. Would you like one as well?"

  
\---

  
Yuki swallowed the last sip of tea, leaving the sad, wet teabag all alone in the bottom of the cup. For the past hour, Zen had been pretending to be engrossed in a thick, dog-eared script, but, for an actor, he was really bad at it. His quick peeks at Yuki every couple of minutes were more than obvious. Despite the flagrant nature of his actions, he looked pretty cute like this, shooting quick, intense gazes with his ruby-colored eyes, a flustered expression on his face.

  
Yuki focused her golden gaze on him, waiting for him to look up again, and raising an eyebrow when their eyes met. Realizing that he'd been caught, Zen quickly returned his attention to the pages, his face turning as red as his eyes. Yuki opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. _You're off the hook for now._

  
"V?"

  
"Yuki. I'm so glad you're safe. You've had an eventful day."

  
"Yes I have...And the party is tomorrow!"

  
"Yuki, you were unnecessarily put in danger today, and that's partially my fault. For that, I am sorry."

  
"Not only me, Hyun was in danger too." _If this organization is going to move forward, we need more transparency. So many problems could have been avoided if we got rid of all this red tape and were just fucking honest with one another._ "I know you didn't do it on purpose...but things like this can't happen in the future."

  
"I know. In the future, you won't have to worry about not being able to contact me. This was my last trip."

  
"Your last trip?"

  
"Yes, I'm not going to be physically able to make any more trips after this one."

  
"Did you injure yourself?"

  
V sighed, realizing that he wasn't going to be able to keep this issue under wraps any longer. "Yuki, I'm going blind."

  
Yuki's head started spinning, and she gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth. Struck with an artist's empathy, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. "Oh, god, V...I'm so sorry...Is there a way to fix it?"

  
"Jumin has already offered to cover the costs of surgery, but I declined."

  
Yuki shook her head. "No...no. You don't get to do that. That's _bullshit_ , V."

  
"This is the fate I've been dealt by the universe. If I must, I'm not afraid to go quietly into the night."

  
"It feels like you're trying to say goodbye."

  
"There may be a time when I'm no longer able to act as head of RFA. If that time comes, please take care of everyone, Yuki."

  
Yuki stood up and walked into the bedroom. She didn't want Zen to go deaf from the ear-full she was about to give V. "V, stop fucking around. I can tell there's a lot you're not telling us, so just this once, be honest with me. Stop all this 'bearing the burden on your own' bullshit and pull your head out of your ass! Just...fucking talk to me!"

  
"I can't. The things I know would hurt them too much."

  
"Do you really think that everyone is so weak that they can't handle the truth? Not knowing hurts them so much more, believe me. In reality, you're the one who is weak! You're so scared to be truthful with the people you claim to care about so much! Tell me what's going on. After everything you've put me through, you owe me at least that much."

  
V was quiet for a long time before he finally spoke. "I know that if I tell you what happened, you won't keep it from the others. But, please, just wait until after the party to tell them. You'll be opening Pandora's box, and I want everyone to be happy, if even for just one more day."

  
Yuki's voice softened. "I can promise you that much."

  
"Okay." V paused, questioning whether he should let it all fly. However, Yuki was right. Brutal honesty was necessary to move forward. He took a deep breath. "First, Rika isn't dead."

  
"W-WHAT THE FUCK."

  
"Please try to stay calm... She's not dead, but she isn't the Rika everyone once knew. Prior to the last party, she because depressed, then...delusional. She started to believe that she was some sort of messiah, that she knew a way to take people to paradise if they followed her. 'The everlasting party,' she called it. She's managed to develop a cult following, an organization that she's named 'Mint Eye.'"

  
"Fuck, V. So it's like a cool-ade and cyanide kind of situation, huh?"

  
"Underneath her seemingly kind and benevolent exterior, Rika is actually incredibly narcissistic and manipulative. Everyone in RFA has been manipulated by her, to some extent. Well, except for you. It took me a long time to realize, but the whole 'charity party' facade was just an opportunity for her to gather powerful people, and try to bring them into the fold."

  
"Is-is this why I was led to the apartment? Is the hacker tied to Mint Eye?"

  
"I believe so. Rika needed a means to infiltrate that apartment for the information from the previous parties, but she needed a way to do so without anyone realizing that she was behind it, so she chose a seemingly-random proxy. In reality, she chose someone that she hoped to later manipulate."

  
"Are...you still involved with her?"

  
"I'm not on her side, if that's what you're asking. When Rika started to become ill, I asked her to seek treatment. I gave her an ultimatum- that I'd leave her if she didn't get help. For a while, the therapy and medications seemed to be helping; she started to act like her old self again, but..."

  
"But?"

  
"She suddenly quit treatment, and fell back into her negative patterns. My eye injury? She did that to me. Claiming that she wanted me to prove my love for her. That was the point of no return. We had a huge fight, and I left her."

  
"Oh, V..."

  
"Since then, I've been going undercover, and monitoring the group. I keep looking for a weakness. It's my responsibility to end this."

  
"If you'd just been honest, we all could have been helping you. If what you said is true, that all of RFA has been used by Rika in some capacity, then we all deserve to have a part in taking her down. This catharsis belongs to all of us."

  
"I don't want anyone to be hurt any further."

  
"It's not your place to decide that. You have to let everyone decide for themselves how far they're willing to go for closure. You don't have to shoulder this alone. Mint Eye will burn, and we will all bask in the glow of the flames." Yuki's voice dripped with vitriol. "After the party is over, we're all going to sit down and hash this out. No more secrets. No more shade. Cut the wound open and drain the pus. We'll be raw for a while, but as long as the infection persists, the wounds can't heal."

  
"Has anyone ever told you that you're incredibly strong-willed?"

  
"My mother, every day of my life."

  
\---

  
Zen frowned, glancing in the direction of the bedroom. He could hear Yuki raising her voice as she spoke with V, but he couldn't quite make out her words. All he could discern was that Yuki was very upset with V, and he thought it might be best to leave her be. If Yuki wanted to talk about it with Zen later, she would.

  
It was quiet for a while before Yuki finally returned to the living room, looking frustrated.

  
"Is everything okay?"

  
Yuki sighed, sitting down next to Zen and leaning her head on his shoulder. "No, not really. But it will be eventually."

  
"Do you want to talk about it? I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to...But if you do, we can..."

  
Yuki snorted at Zen's stammering response. "I can't talk about it right now, but after the party is over, I'll tell you everything. I'll tell everyone everything. We all need to get together and have a meeting to work through some stuff."

  
Zen put his arm around Yuki and squeezed her shoulder. "As long as you know I'm here for you."

  
"I know, Hyun." She took his free hand in her own and laced their fingers together.

  
"Yuki...I uh, I want you to move in with me. I don't want to spend another day separated from you."

  
Yuki lifted her head to look at Zen. "But what about your career? Isn't it a little scandalous for an unmarried couple to live together?"

  
Zen shook his head. "I don't care. I'm not doing anything wrong. If my fans have a problem with it, then they weren't really my fans in the first place."

  
"If you're sure about this...I'd love to move in."

  
Zen gently cupped Yuki's face in his hand, their hearts speeding up in tandem. "Yuki...I love you."

  
Yuki's eyes widened. "Hyun, I..." Zen didn't let her finish, interrupting her returned confession with a soft kiss.

  
"Sorry. I couldn't wait any longer..." Yuki reached for him, closing the gap between them once more. _I love you too._

  
\---

  
Fireworks exploded behind Yuki's eyes as Zen's lips pressed against her own. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, eliciting a soft whine from her. At this, the intensity of the kiss increased, with Zen gripping her face with one hand as the other tangled itself in her hair. He growled softly against her and Yuki shivered at the sound, murmuring Zen's name before tracing the shape of his mouth with the tip of her tongue.

  
Zen gripped Yuki's shoulders, pushing her onto her back. She gasped at the sudden force, as the beast inside Zen started to take over. Little did Zen know, Yuki had a beast inside her as well. She grabbed him roughly by the back of the neck and jerked him down to continue the kiss, nipping at his lower lip. _Shiiiit, Yuki._ Zen groaned, his pants suddenly seeming impossibly tight. He began fumbling with the buttons of Yuki's shirt, finally revealing the lacy bra underneath. Zen ran his hands up and down her sides, drawing breathy sighs. He pulled back to look for a moment at Yuki, glossy black hair splayed around her head, her hooded eyes, pupils dilated from arousal, her flushed cheeks, her shamelessly lustful expression, her chest rising and falling with each needy breath...

  
"I'm going to take you to bed now. I don't want to do it to you right here..."

  
Zen took Yuki's hand and led her to the bedroom, where they resumed their foreplay. Yuki slipped off her already-unbuttoned flannel, next tugging at the bottom of Zen's shirt. She watched, rapt, as he pulled it over his head, her eyes scanning that delicious upper-body. She pressed her mouth against his again, her hands exploring his chest and shoulders. Zen shivered at her gentle touches, his own hands pressed softly against the velvety flesh of Yuki's back.

  
Yuki's hands began to wander further south, teasing Zen's erection through his pants. Zen broke away from the kiss, a coherent thought suddenly breaking through. "Do we have...?"

  
"Oh! Yeah, hold on." She sprinted through the house to where she had left her handbag, the box of condoms from before still buried inside it. She dumped out her bag's contents onto the floor, snatching the box and racing back to the bedroom. She whipped the box at Zen. "I...wasn't quite sure which-ahem-size we'd need..."

  
"You came prepared..."

  
"Well, to be completely honest, I bought them on Sunday before I came over...Just is case..."

  
Zen couldn't help but laugh. "You're so bad."

  
"I know." Yuki peeled her leggings off and kicked them aside as Zen read the back of the box, trying to judge which of the three options was best.

  
"I, uh, I hate to brag, but, uh..." He held up a condom in the largest size. "For future reference, this is the size you'll want to buy."

  
Yuki's eyebrows lifted, and she smirked. She gave a thumbs-up before undoing Zen's belt, wordlessly asking him to remove his pants as well. He obliged her, his jeans falling to the floor. Zen sat down on the foot of the bed, his arousal now clearly visible through his underwear. Yuki climbed on top of him, straddling his lap. Their mouths connected once again, and Zen rested his hands on Yuki's hips as she tugged the elastic band out of his hair, silvery tresses spilling out across his back. Yuki dragged her fingers through the silky strands, lightly grazing his scalp with her fingernails. Zen gave a soft sigh at the contact.

  
Zen began thrusting his hips, grinding lightly against Yuki. She began rolling her hips into him, increasing the friction between them. Zen groaned loudly, slightly worried he might cum from this alone. He slowed his movements, decreasing the pressure Yuki put on his needy cock. She went for his neck, first grazing her teeth lightly against his flesh, then latching on and sucking hard, drawing a sharp pant from Zen. She drew away, admiring the deep red welt she had left, marking him as her own.

  
Zen fumbled with the hooks of Yuki's bra, desperately trying to get it off of her. Finally undoing it, he yanked it off of her and whipped it across the room, admiring her soft breasts. Round and pink-tipped, they fit perfectly in Zen's hands as he pinched and teased them. He leaned forward and ran his tongue over a nipple, earning a low moan. Zen took the tip of a breast into his mouth, sucking lightly. Yuki trembled and whimpered at the attention, grinding against him a little more quickly than before.

  
Without taking his mouth off of her, Zen lifted Yuki's hips slightly, slipping his fingers inside her panties. She gasped at the contact, bucking her hips to brush herself against his fingertips. "You're so wet..." he whispered against her chest.

  
She whined loudly. "Please...put your fingers inside me!" Zen did as he was told, slipping his index and middle fingers inside Yuki, gently thrusting them in and out, coating them with her wetness. Her whole body shook and she panted more loudly with each thrust. "Hyun...You're gonna make me come if you keep doing this!"

  
Zen withdrew his fingers, and Yuki's mouth formed a pout. "Don't you remember what I said before? 'The next time you make those noises, it needs to be from me, buried deep inside you.'" He sucked on his fingers to taste her, and Yuki maneuvered her panties off, finally naked on top of him. If, on the night he and Yuki had first spoken, someone had told Zen that they'd been like this now, he wouldn't have believed it. However...he wouldn't have it any other way.

  
Yuki tugged at the waistband of Zen's underwear, lifting herself up on her knees to allow him to slip them off. Zen gasped as the cold air hit his erection, then shuddered visibly as Yuki grasped him, her thumb pressing gently against the head. "B-be careful. I'm so sensitive right now..." Carefully, she unwrapped the condom and rolled it onto him, positioning his tip against her wetness.

  
Suddenly shy, Zen stopped her momentarily. "Before you go any further, are you sure you're okay with this, Babe? I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything you're not comfortable with..."

  
"I'm sure." She bucked her lips lightly, so that the tip of Zen's cock entered her ever so slightly before exiting again, making him see stars. "Besides, I very clearly remember you saying that you couldn't wait to feel me on you, that you couldn't wait to _fuck_ me. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that you still want that."

  
"I do."

  
"Good." Yuki brought her hips down on Zen, making him sigh, his eyes fluttering shut as she took his entire length in one swift movement. She paused briefly as they adjusted to the feeling of the intimate connection, looking deeply into one another's eyes, ruby meeting amber, clouded with lust.

  
"You feel so tight on me. I'm not hurting you, am I?"

  
Yuki began rolling her hips back and forth. "Mmm-ahh~...no. You feel good inside me."

  
"Good." Zen grasped her hips and began thrusting upward, intensifying the sensations as his cock slid in and out of Yuki. She cradled his face in her hands, kissing him again as she moved, breaking away occasionally when Zen hit a sweet spot deep inside, drawing a ragged moan from her lips. She sped up her movements, seeking greater intensity, her legs starting to tremble as her tension built. Sensing Yuki's need, Zen returned his mouth to her breast, flicking his tongue against her nipple as he gripped her tighter against him.

  
She moaned constantly now, impossibly slick between her legs. The heat built around Zen, drawing breathy gasps from him as well. The bedroom was a chorus of whimpers and whispered affections as they made love. It started to become apparent to Zen that he wasn't going to last much longer, with Yuki so hot and wet on him. He bucked his hips harder, pounding into her as roughly as he possibly could. Yuki's moans became screams, and Zen was momentarily concerned that he was hurting her. At least, until he caught a glimpse of the fucked-out expression on her face. "Hyun...Don't stop!"

  
Yuki's entire body trembled, her fingernails digging into Zen's flesh as she came, screaming his name over and over. She tensed around him, and he knew that he would follow closely behind her.

  
"Babe...I'm gonna cum."

  
"Cum inside me, Hyun!"

  
Zen gripped her hips tightly, holding her still against him as he came unraveled inside her, thrusting his hips softly as he rode out his climax. "Yuki..."

  
Both panting, they looked at one another, a potent cocktail of Dopamine and Oxytocin coursing through their brains. Overcome with affection, Zen reached out and tucked a loose piece of hair behind Yuki's ear.

  
"Yuki...I'll love you forever."

  
\---

  
A/N: Always practice safer sex, kiddos.


	15. Show Time

Zen's eyes fluttered open and he gazed at the woman still asleep next to him. Yuki lay curled up knees-to-chest, dressed only in his favorite grey-and-white striped shirt, face peacefully blank save for the occasional dream-induced twitch. They'd made love the night before, over and over, desperately trying to etch their feelings into one another, until, completely spent, they fell asleep tangled in each other's arms. Yuki clasped the sheets tightly, forming a warm little cocoon around herself as she slumbered on blissfully. Zen could have watched her sleep forever, mesmerized by the softness of her unconscious state. He scooted closer, pressing a gentle kiss against her forehead. Her eyes flicked open, and her lips grew into a soft smile. "Good morning, _ai-sama_."

  
Zen thought he might melt at the sound of Yuki's words, and he pulled her into his chest, whispering his own greeting against her hair. "Good morning, _jagiya_." Yuki showered tiny kisses against Zen's collarbone, and he believed that he might faint from the cuteness, draping a leg over her to hold her as closely as possible.

  
Their blissful moment was soon interrupted by the sound of two smartphones dinging simultaneously. They looked at one another, neither wanting to return to reality. "I swear I'm gonna delete that damn app," Yuki muttered, staring at Zen's butt as he padded off to the living room to retrieve their devices, still where they had left them the night before. She rubbed her eyes, recalling her conversation with V the night before, and committed herself to focusing on that evening's party, and to maintaining the best poker face the world had ever seen.

  
"Hello~ The party is tonight!"

  
"Have you finished corresponding with our guests?" Jumin's tone was no-nonsense, as usual.

  
"I have. Everyone we invited has answered in one way or another."

  
"I am anxious to see how many people attend."

  
"I'm feeling optimistic, Jaehee. I think out of everyone who was contacted, only two groups sent regrets."

  
"Oh! That's great! I look forward to it!"

  
"I think we've more than earned this party..."

  
"Yuki, after everything that happened yesterday, you're still okay, right?"

  
_Oh, Yoosung, I'm more than okay._ "Hyun...gave me a lot of love, so I'm good."

  
"I might have to give you some more today, just to be safe."

  
Yuki nearly choked on her own saliva, shooting a glance at her lover. "H-Hyun...haha;;;"

  
Jaehee rapidly changed the subject. "Is everyone ready otherwise? We've made confirmations with the venue, the caterers, and the entertainment. What is everyone planning on wearing? I'm picking up my dress from the dry cleaner during lunch."

  
"Oh, shit. Fire. Hellfire."

  
"What's wrong, Yuki?"

  
"The dress I was planning to wear was left at Rika's apartment. My dress literally got blown up." Zen broke into peals of laughter next to her. "Stop laughing, Hyun!"

  
"If you like, we could make a short shopping trip during my lunch break. I'll be near Zen's house when I pick up my dry cleaning."

  
"That's not a bad idea."

  
"If it's for the party, I won't mind if you take the afternoon off. I think you've earned enough comp time caring for Elizabeth."

  
Jumin didn't have to tell Jaehee twice. "I'll see you around noon, Yuki."

  
"Okay, Jaehee. Good luck at work this morning!"

  
Yuki put down her phone and wrapped her arms around Zen once more. His hands found their way under the striped shirt and between her legs. Yuki sighed, parting her thighs to allow greater ease of access as his fingers slipped inside her.

  
Zen rolled her over onto her back, positioning himself in such a way that he could taste her, his tongue dipping in and out, coaxing her closer and closer to her peak. As soon as he had her teetering on the edge, he pulled away and plunged his cock inside, pumping into her, encouraged by her now-familiar screams of pleasure. Zen slammed his hips against Yuki, her voice cracking just a little as she whimpered his name. His cock twitched inside her as he climaxed; hot, breathy sighs tickling her neck as his movements gradually slowed to a stop. "I told you that I'd give you more love today."

  
Yuki smirked. "Just to be safe."

  
\---

  
Jaehee rang Zen's doorbell at 12:15 sharp, checking her watch. The drive from the C&R flagship office building had already eaten up fifteen minutes, and she and Yuki had only a short while to complete their tasks, if they wanted to return home with plenty of time to get ready. First, they needed to eat lunch and pick up Jaehee's dress from the dry cleaner. Then, Yuki desperately needed something to wear to that evening's party. It would have to be off-the-rack of course, as time was of the essence. Fortunately, Mr. Han had been able to suggest a few stores, as he'd more than once had to seek out gifts for his father's revolving door of girlfriends.

  
Zen answered the door cheerfully, notifying Jaehee that Yuki was just finishing up a phone call with the graduate student that was covering her classes for the second day in a row. _Is it just me, or is Zen's skin looking better than normal?_ Jaehee pushed the thought from her mind until Yuki emerged from the other room, her skin looking as radiant as Zen's. _Oh, yeah. They most definitely did._

  
"Jaehee~ I'm glad to finally get to meet you in person!"

  
"Really?"

  
"Of course! I know this outing is more out of necessity, but I think it'll be fun."

  
Jaehee smiled. Her relationship with Yuki had started out rocky, wrought with distrust and jealousy, but if now, they could be friends, well, Jaehee would like that very much. "Well, we should be going. We've got a lot to accomplish!"

  
"Take good care of her, Jaehee! I'll leave it to you."

  
After picking up Jaehee's dress, they'd settled on sushi. Before them was a half-eaten smorgasbord of various rolls, nigiri, sashimi, and more than a couple of beer bottles. (Pre-gaming, as Yuki called it.) They chattered back and forth, swapping stories about New York, RFA, and Zen. Yuki nearly spit out a sip of beer as Jaehee showed a photo from the last RFA party, when Jumin had brought his cat to the function, stirring up Zen's allergies.

  
"I can't believe Jumin brought his cat!"

  
"I couldn't believe it either. I couldn't say anything about it though, because I will still new at the company then."

  
"Poor Zen..." Yuki laughed, stuffing another piece of salmon nigiri into her face.

  
Jaehee returned her phone to her bag, adjusting her glasses. "So...forgive me if this is a bit forward, but...last night...did you...?"

  
Yuki covered her mouth, stifling a giggle. "If I say yes, are you going to call in a hit on me?"

  
"I knew it." Though she felt just the slightest bit envious, Jaehee's tone carried no hostility. Her glasses glinting, she held out her hands, palms facing each other, slowly moving them further apart and then closer together again. "So...if you were to give me an estimate..."

  
Yuki screeched, breaking into a loud cackle. "JAEHEE!"

  
"Just put my hands where they need to be." Yuki did as she was told. Jaehee looked at her hands for a moment, silent. "No wonder he acts like he's God's gift to women."

  
\---

  
The smoky floral scent of Yuki's perfume tinted the air as she spritzed it onto her pressure points, dabbing a little behind her ears. She'd all but taken over Zen's bathroom in her own pursuit of beauty, and he'd obliged her, the two of them getting ready side-by-side, Yuki tracing a sharp arch into her eyebrows as Zen massaged argan oil into his hair.

  
Seeking caffeine, Zen had wandered off into the kitchen, leaving Yuki alone as she dressed herself for the evening. She tugged at the zipper of the dress she and Jaehee had chosen before strapping on the chunky velvet heels. She fastened the jeweled choker around her neck, taking one last look in the mirror and throwing a couple of finger guns.

  
"Are you ready to go, _jagi_ -" Zen stopped in his tracks, looking at the beauty in front of him. He'd watched Yuki style her hair and apply her makeup, but seeing the whole look together was something different entirely. She'd opted for a tailored black dress, its plunging neckline drawing Zen's eye. Her wine-colored heels looked impossibly uncomfortable, but emphasized Yuki's lean legs in such a way that Zen suddenly wished that their attendance at the party wasn't mandatory. "You look amazing..."

  
"You don't look so bad yourself." She linked her arm through Zen's, and they made their way out to the town car that Jumin had sent to pick them up.

  
Jaehee greeted them as they arrived at the party, with VIP badges for both of them, and a headset and clipboard of information for Yuki- guest lists, an itinerary, final to-dos before the start of the party. Yuki popped the headset on, transitioning back into a mode of professionalism, and clicked off to check the progress of the A/V set-up. _It's Show Time._

  
\---

  
Cameras flashed and reporters flipped pages in their notepads as Zen prepared to finally give his press conference. Several tabloid "reporters" had tried to muscle their way into the affair, but Yuki had told them in no uncertain terms where she'd shove their cameras and tape recorders if they didn't leave. The party had only been rolling for an hour, but it had felt like an eternity for Zen, who'd seemingly been fielding questions about the Echo Girl scandal since the first guests had arrived. _Just hold on a bit longer, my love._ If Yuki weren't a more mature person, she'd be @-ing Echo Girl right now, giving her a play-by-play of her night with Zen. Fortunately for Echo Girl, Yuki wasn't that petty. Yet.

  
Finally, Zen made his way to the stage, standing behind the podium as thousands of camera flashes lit his form.

  
"At this time, I'd like to give a formal statement. As you all know, Echo Girl released a statement on Monday claiming that I invited her to my home and sexually harassed her. I would like you all to know that these allegations are entirely false. Around midnight on Sunday, Echo Girl came to my home unannounced, and attempted to instigate a sexual relationship with me. I declined, and she became angry with me, claiming that she'd coerced a director into offering me a role. I continued to refuse, and I sent her home. At no time did I act inappropriately toward Echo Girl.

  
"Since this incident, it has come to light that Echo Girl was, at least at one time, a fan of mine. I now believe that she planned to use the role offered to me as leverage to coerce me into a relationship. We have a witness here tonight that can confirm Echo Girl's infatuation with me." Zen called the goldfish-bread seller to the stage. The man explained what he had seen, from Echo Girl's eye-batting, to her hyperactivity, to her cringe-y, gooey word choice.

  
Zen's eyes met Yuki's, and he began speaking once more. "I want you to know that I would never act in the way that Echo Girl claims. First, the behavior she describes is disgusting to me. It is degrading, and disrespectful, and no one should ever be subjected to it." He paused, taking a sip of water to wet his throat, which had suddenly become very dry. "Second, I am not interested in having a relationship with Echo Girl. I've already found someone very special to me, and I'd like you to meet her. I'm sure those of you here tonight have already been acquainted with her, and you've no doubt found her as lovely and charming as I do. Now, I want to formally introduce her as my girlfriend. Yuki, will you join me on stage, please?"

  
Yuki's head spun, barely processing the movement of her legs, propelling her toward the stage. Standing next to Zen, and facing out into the crowd, she suddenly noticed a couple of TV cameras. _Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck._

  
"This cute lady here is Miss Yuki Asano. She joined us about ten days ago as our new party coordinator. I'll admit that we haven't known one another long, but sometimes...you just connect with someone..."

  
Yuki blushed, thinking about how they had connected the night before. _Don't be nasty, Yuki._

  
"With Yuki's help, we hope to hold many more parties in the future, carrying on Rika's legacy. She's already put up with a lot out of us. She's a very special woman." He turned, facing Yuki. "Yuki, _jagiya_ , I love you. I know I've already told you so many times since last night, but I can't tell you enough how much you mean to me."

  
He kissed her then, flashbulbs exploding, illuminating the two, and Yuki knew that all of her social media would be blowing up within the hour. "I'm sure you're all anxious to know more about this incredible woman, so I'll give her an opportunity to say a few words." _Hyun why._

  
Not really having the option of disappearing into the crowd, Yuki adjusted the microphone and cleared her throat. "Um, hi. My name is Yuki Asano...though I guess you already knew that." The crowd laughed, and Yuki relaxed a bit. "When I first joined RFA, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I quickly realized that RFA is a family. They may be a little, uh...chemically imbalanced, but the connection here is strong. RFA's members are some of the most caring, loyal people I've ever met. I quickly learned that they're the kind of people who will always have your back. Even when things get difficult, they only want to help. Echo Girl's allegations were hurtful, and we can only hope that, in time, she'll mature a bit, and change her behavior." _Translation: "Meet me outside."_

  
"However, this experience also brought us all a little bit closer." She looked at Zen, and then Jumin. "Even if we don't always get along perfectly, RFA is ride-or-die. We're also passionate about making a difference. I joined because I believed that the organization would give me the opportunity to give back, and to help others. Before, RFA only held parties every couple of years. I think we can do better than that. With the other members' blessing, I would like to start holding four parties each year." Yuki could see six mouths fall open at once. "I know it sounds intimidating, but I've seen what we can do in only ten days. I'm ready to make a difference, so...please believe in me!"

  
The press members exploded out of their seats, a firestorm of questions raining down. "I will not be making any further comments at this time. Please direct any questions through proper channels." _Honestly, I have no idea what the proper channels are._

  
Jaehee and Zen quickly swept her away, protecting her from the information-hungry gazes of the reporters.

  
"Babe...I had no idea that you could be that dramatic!~ We're sure to be all over the news tomorrow! We should collect the magazine covers and frame them~"

  
"You two really are perfect for one another."

  
\---

  
A few hours later, the press frenzy had finally died down, and RFA had been able to properly tend to their guests. The party had been a roaring success, and Yuki had already collected quite a bit of contact information for guests interested in the next party.

  
Yuki stepped outside to smoke, and V joined her, pulling out a pipe and a book of matches.

  
"When do you plan to tell them?"

  
"Saturday. I'm going to put details for a meeting in the group chat. I'd like you to be there too."

  
"Is that necessary?"

  
"We're going to be talking about some other things too, so yes. Besides, after you've kept all of these things from them, it'd be worse for you to not be there. I know how much they'll hurt, and how much that will hurt you in return, but this has to happen. You can't keep running away." Yuki put a hand on V's shoulder and squeezed. "Besides, it's as I said before. RFA is a family. That includes you too. 'Family' also means that no one suffers alone. I know that's been your M.O. for some time now, but it's bullshit. RFA rides together, dies together. It's not as bad when everyone shoulders the pain together."

  
V removed his sunglasses, dabbing at his cloudy eyes with a handkerchief he pulled from his back pocket. "Thank you...for everything."

  
\---

  
At midnight, Yuki sent out a group message, simply reading, "RFA meeting at 5:00 p.m. Saturday, at Hyun and Yuki's house. B.Y.O.B."


	16. Come-to-Jesus

Zen watched as Yuki came through the front door, a cardboard box in her arms. He could hear the muffled clinking of glass bottles rattling together. She carried her bounty to the kitchen, and began unloading various types of liquor into the freezer.

  
"What's with all the booze?"

  
"It's for the meeting this evening."

  
"You say 'meeting,' but it seems more like we're getting ready for a party."

  
"Well, unfortunately, it's definitely not going to be that." Yuki leaned on the counter, mushing the side of her face against her palm.

  
Zen cocked his head. "I'm confused, Babe."

  
"Remember on Wednesday, when I came out of the bedroom after talking to V?"

  
"I remember. You seemed pretty upset."

  
"Well...that's what this meeting is going to be about. I don't think any of us are going to be able to make it through this evening sober."

  
"Is...this about Rika?"

  
"It is."

  
Zen grimaced outwardly. "God..."

  
"I don't know if you've ever heard the expression "come-to-Jesus moment"- it's an American expression- but that's what's happening."

  
"I haven't heard that phrase before, but it doesn't sound good."

  
"It won't be fun, but it'll be good for us in the long run. I just hope we can keep Yoosung from getting into a fist-fight with V..."

  
Zen's eyes widened. "What did V do?!"

  
"V didn't do anything. I can confirm that now."

  
"...Did Rika do something?"

  
"I don't think it would be fair to everyone else for me to tell you first."

  
\---

  
As 5:00 drew closer, the RFA members started to trickle into Zen and Yuki's home. Jaehee was the first to arrive, just before the top of the hour, followed closely by Jumin and V in Jumin's sleek town car. Zen briefly wondered why the two of them always seemed to travel together these days, but he put the question aside, certain that he would receive an answer by the end of the evening. Seven and Yoosung were the last to arrive, pulling up in Seven's flashy sports car almost 20 minutes late, as Yoosung's LOLOL match had run a little longer than expected.

  
Yuki had started drinking by that point, and she mulled about, greeting everyone with a vodka bottle in hand. This was the first sign that the evening was about to go all the way to the left. She grabbed an ice bucket from the kitchen, digging the chilled liquor bottles into the cubes, and carried it into the living room, along with a three-pack of tissue boxes. Booze, tears, and profanities were sure to flow freely tonight.

  
Everyone settled into the living room, uncomfortably eyeing the open bar and tissues laid out on the coffee table. Zen looked worried, Yuki, defeated, and V, like he might throw up.

  
Jaehee chewed on her nails nervously, furrowing her brow as she looked at Yuki. "What exactly did you want to discuss tonight?"

  
Yuki sighed, taking another swig of straight vodka. "I suppose I was a bit vague in my invitation." She paused for a moment, closing her eyes. "Some things have come to my attention since everything that happened on Wednesday, and it needs to be discussed, despite the unpleasantness of it. Tonight isn't a celebration, or a planning meeting, or anything like that. It's a come-to-Jesus."

  
"Oh shit," Seven whispered, staring at the definition of the phrase that he had found online. "What's going on here?"

  
V buried his face in his hands. "Just tell them, Yuki. There's no way to say it easily."

  
Five faces turned to stare at Yuki, their eyes wide with dread.

  
Yuki lifted the bottle to her lips again, taking a long drink. It stung her throat, but the words forming there burned so much more hotly. She silently passed the bottled to V, seated next to her, and he drank as well, passing it on around the circle. Jumin grimaced a little at the idea of drinking from the same bottle as everyone else, but relentled, understanding the gravity of the situation. Once everyone had drunk, Yuki cleared her throat, gently lifting the lid to Pandora's box.

  
"Rika...uh...isn't, uh...dead."

  
\---

  
A hostile silence crept through the room, so thick and heady that it seemed to suffocate any words that attempted to escape their lips. RFA sat, frozen, as the moments crept by, their cadence achingly slow.

  
All color drained from Yoosung's face, and his ears rang as if a gun had been fired right next to him. Feeling as though he were watching his own actions in third-person, he stood, his hands shaking. Dizzy, he slowly moved forward, his fellow RFA members watching helplessly.

  
"What the fuck, V?" he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. Yoosung lurched forward, his hand balling into a fist. Zen caught him around the middle, and yanked him back before the punch could connect. The fragile silence now shattered, he thrashed about in Zen's grip.

  
"Why would you tell us that Rika died?! Why would you EVER lie about something like that?" Yoosung shouted, his voice cracking.

  
Yuki attempted to explain. "Rika-"

  
"No, Yuki. I want to hear it from V. Just once, I want him to tell me the truth!" Hot, angry tears stung the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over.

  
V swallowed thickly, finally opening his mouth to speak. "Rika was sick. She still is. She...got depressed. It got worse and worse, and she finally because so delusional that she didn't even vaguely resemble the Rika that you used to know. That Rika...really is gone."

  
"...Oh, god..." Yoosung went limp in Zen's arms, sinking to the ground when he was released. His breathing became rapid and irregular as he began to hyperventilate, and he clutched at the sides of his head. "Oh god oh god oh god oh god..."

  
Guided by the younger man's voice, V lowered himself onto the floor, scooting forward until he and Yoosung were face-to-face. V pulled him closer, holding Yoosung's face against his shoulder. The blond tensed again, and tried to jerk himself away, but the older man clutched him tightly.

  
"Let me go..."

  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Yoosung. I should have just told the truth from the beginning."

  
"Woulda, coulda, shoulda..." Yoosung mumbled against him. "Rika got sick. A lot of people get sick. Did you even try to help her?!"

  
"She received treatment for a while. She was on some medications and she was seeing a therapist, and it seemed like it was helping...but then she quit, and she got sick again."

  
Yoosung's heart hammered in his chest, and tears flowed freely now. "You're so full of shit, V! All of this was happening with Rika, and you just shut down on us, lied to us! You couldn't trust us enough to tell us the truth, so why should we trust you? That's not how a normal person acts!"

  
\---

  
Jaehee leaned forward and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the bucket of ice, cracking the cap off and taking a long drink, grimacing a little at the sharp burn of liquor. She had long ago grown annoyed with Yoosung's grudge against V, and had decided that now would be the perfect time to set things straight. "Yoosung, do you really think you're in any position to talk about how normal people act? You believed that Rika was dead, and you became depressed, becoming addicted to online games and changing after-school clubs every couple of weeks, just looking for some sort of distraction. That by itself is a fairly typical response to grief.

  
"However, you simply gave up on yourself after that, after having been such a high-achieving student before. You no longer had Rika's encouragement, so you stopped trying. When she wasn't there to believe in you, you no longer believed in yourself. No matter how you look at it, you didn't have a healthy relationship with Rika." Jaehee's tone began to escalate. "You developed such a dependency on her that you couldn't even function once she was gone. Does that sound even VAGUELY normal to you?!"

  
Yuki joined in. "Jaehee's right. It sounds to me like Rika manipulated you. She made it so you needed her. That's not normal. She used you."

  
Yoosung shook his head in disbelief. "It doesn't matter. How can we even be certain that V is telling the truth? He lied to us about Rika before; he might be doing it again. How am I supposed to believe him if he can't even make eye contact with me? Take off your stupid sunglasses, look me in the eye, and tell me she was sick!"

  
Yuki and Jumin both choked a little as he said this, and everyone else stared at them, wondering what could have possibly triggered a response like that.

  
V sighed and removed his sunglasses, looking dimly at Yoosung through cloudy blue eyes. When he felt around for the coffee table, searching for a resting place for the frames, Yoosung started to understand.

  
"V...What happened to your eyes?"

  
"Rika. Rika is what happened," Yuki muttered darkly.

  
"No..."

  
"After Rika stopped her treatment, and got sick again, she injured my eyes, claiming she wanted me to prove my love for her. I can still see a little bit out of my left eye, but even that's starting to go now."

  
"Why would she do that?"

  
"Yoosung, I think you're going to have to accept the fact that you didn't know Rika as well as you thought you did," Jumin interjected. "He really is telling the truth about his eyes. I offered to cover the cost of a double corneal transplant, but V refused."

  
"Wait, you KNEW about this?" Zen was suddenly furious. "And you didn't bother to tell the rest of us?"

  
Yuki tugged gently at his hand. "Hyun...It wasn't Jumin's place to tell us. I'm sure he made the decision to let V deal with it in his own time."

  
Yoosung looked back at V. "If it's true...why wouldn't you have your eyes fixed."

  
"Because this is my fate."

  
"That's stupid. By refusing treament, you're doing the same thing you said Rika did!"

  
Yuki brought her bottle down on the coffee table a little more loudly than she had intended, making V jump. "I have to agree with Yoosung on this one. You're being a dumbass, V. So you got done dirty by your ex. So what? Everybody's got a shitty ex! You're not special! It's high time your pity-party started winding down. This whole 'victim complex' thing ain't cute! You-" Yuki suddenly stopped, a sober thought breaking through, reminding her that there was more to the story, that maybe, considering the situation, she was being unfair. She went quiet, a funny look on her face.

  
"Though...this isn't exactly a normal 'shitty ex' situation, I guess..."

  
"There's more to this, isn't there?" Zen groaned.

  
"I'm afraid so."

  
\---

  
Yuki cleared her throat. "Ah, as Rika became more mentally unstable, she developed sort of a god-complex. The RFA parties were, up until recently, a front, for her to gather followers. Powerful ones. She's built a cult-type organization called 'Mint Eye.' Based on what V's told me, it sounds like a 'cool-ade-as-a-chaser-for-cyanide' kind of situation." Yuki paused, taking a deep breath. "V thinks that they're the ones who lured me to the apartment, who tried to hack into the RFA databases, who tried to kidnap me. Rika needed access to the files in that apartment because they contained information about powerful party guests. She used me as a proxy to gain access without revealing herself."

  
Seven had been quiet until this point, but now, the pieces were starting to come together in his mind. "So...everything that's happened recently...has been Rika's doing?"

  
"We believe so."

  
Holding his head in his hands, Seven started to laugh. It wasn't a laugh of joy; it carried a much darker quality than that. The sound sent a chill up Yuki's spine. "Ha...haha...It was Rika the whole time...The answer was right in front of me...And I MISSED IT. She...got WAY too close...ha..." Seven shook his head, his hands tangled in his hair. "I'm such a fuck-up..."

  
Zen stood up and went to sit next to him. "Hey, no...You're not a fuck-up, okay? You did everything you could. You went above and beyond trying to keep everyone safe, like you always do. It's because of you that Yuki's safe with us here, now."

  
"And it was because of me that she was in danger in the first place!" Seven looked like he might cry.

  
"You're human, okay?"

  
"I'm supposed to be better than that! I have to keep everyone safe!...I have to do better..."

  
"You don't have to do it alone. We all can look out for each other, okay?" Yuki suggested. "For such a tightly-knit group, you all really have an issue with bottling up your problems. That's the whole reason we are where we are right now. Maybe if we all stopped hiding our shit, and were actually honest about our problems, and talked stuff out instead of shading each other in the group chat-" She looked at Yoosung. "-maybe we could get somewhere. From now on, this is a group effort. No more lone wolf bullshit."

  
\---

  
Yoosung looked at V sheepishly, feeling a little shitty for how he had acted before. "This is just...unreal. I can't believe you tried to deal with all of that on your own. You can't do that anymore, okay? Don't be dumb."

  
Yuki's slurring tone softened. "Please, V. In the future, please tell us what's going on. Everyone's been worried about you. I know I've given you a lot of hell, but I do care about you. We all do."   
V looked about the room, doing the best he could to make eye contact with everyone, a tiny smile forming as he felt around for the box of tissues on the table. He'd been so numb for so long, and for the first time in a while, he felt just a little bit hopeful for the future.

  
"Okay. I promise."

  
\---

  
Though he'd managed to remain composed throughout this entire unpleasant affair, Jumin felt deeply troubled. He'd known about V's injury, but he hadn't been aware of the full extent of Rika's abuse. Deep inside, he burned with anger, and a vivid memory reemerged after having been shoved deep into his consciousness. In conjunction with all of this new information, it turned his stomach. At the same time, the time for catharsis was now.

  
Jumin cleared his throat. "I have something that I need to say, about Rika."

  
V turned in the direction of his friend's voice. "Go ahead."

  
Looking at V's face, Jumin thought he might be sick. " Rika came to me once, and..." he trailed off, not certain that he could bear to complete his sentence. "She told me that she was interested in me, that she would be willing to leave you at a moment's notice. It made me sick then, and it makes me sick now. In retrospect, I understand that it was a power play. It wasn't that she had feelings for me. She wanted my assets."

  
Jaehee gasped, clamping a hand over her mouth. Yoosung's mouth fell open. Yuki whispered the words "Holy fuck."

 

  
V simply shook his head, smirking in irritation. "That doesn't even surprise me. Nothing _that woman_ does surprises me anymore."

  
"I should have told you as soon as it happened. You could have left, moved on, been happy..."

  
"It doesn't matter now. It's in the past. I've learned that if you dwell too much on what could have been, it'll eat you alive. Focus on the present, and the future instead."

  
"What do we do now?"

  
V's hands scanned the table, locating the ice bucket. He pulled out a bottle at random, passing it to Jumin.

  
"Like Yuki said before, we drink."


	17. Have You Tried Turning it Off and Back On Again?

Sun-Mi Dang's Monday morning started out in the worst possible way: with a cat's ass in her face. Choo-Choo had settled himself on her chest, his back end just inches from her nose. "You furry little asshole," she muttered, nudging the animal off and brushing his little black hairs from her silky pajama top. She rolled out of bed and padded off to the kitchen, where she put the kettle on to boil as she opened the cupboard, removing a china mug and an English Breakfast tea bag. Sun-Mi pressed two halves of a blueberry whole-wheat bagel into the toaster before popping open a can of Fantasy Feast for Choo-Choo, the smell of cat butt still lingering in her nostrils.

  
She leaned against the counter, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she waited for her breakfast to heat. It wasn't that Sun-Mi was unused to early mornings. She had long ago adjusted to waking up at 4:30 in the morning, only to arrive at the office at 7:00, inspect the C&R servers, run a malware sweep, and look over the most recent maintenance requests. However, she'd been up a little later than expected the night before, finally finishing up the mystery thriller she'd been working through for the past three weeks. Her bagel halves finally toasted, she deposited them onto a plate, along with a handful of fresh strawberries, and poured boiling water over the tea bag in her mug, carrying her bounty back to the bedroom and taking a seat at her vanity.

  
A thin trail of steam rose into the air as Sun-Mi ran her flat iron down a section of hair, taming its messy wave. She flicked her wrist outward, preserving a slight curl at the end. _Why can't my hair be either curly, or straight? It tries to be both, and ends up neither. It looks so messy!_ Finally satisfied with the styling of her tresses, Sun-Mi moved on to her makeup, the most time-consuming part of her routine. She didn't consider herself ugly, per se, but she didn't consider herself pretty either, and spent a significant amount of time attempting to alter her features. For someone who hated spending money frivolously, Sun-Mi budgeted quite a bit of money toward cosmetics and skincare products: a one-hundred-dollar lactic acid treatment, a fifty-dollar concealer, an eighty-dollar BB cream... Unfortunately, no amount of expensive makeup could seem to cover those freckles that Sun-Mi hated so passionately.

  
Finally satisfied (somewhat) with her appearance, Sun-Mi set about getting dressed. She shooed Choo-Choo off of the black dress pants she'd laid out, along with a pink silk blouse. She looked at the clock, and, seeing that it was nearly 6:30, rapidly completed her preparations for the day. Sun-Mi grabbed her lunch from the refrigerator, stuffing it into her work bag along with a stainless steel water bottle, and quickly prepared another cup of English Breakfast in a travel mug.

  
"Be a good boy while Mommy's gone, Choo-Choo!" She scritched the kitty under his chin, earning an affectionate purr, before slipping quickly out the front door of her apartment.

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi rapped gently on the glass door to the C &R flagship office's lobby, capturing the attention of the overnight security guard. She presented her ID badge as she did every morning, offering the guard a friendly greeting as she entered the dimly-lit building. As she boarded the elevator, pressing the button for the basement level, sleepy silence enveloped her. Sun-Mi always found this part of the day pleasant. The day had not yet fully begun, and the peaceful stillness always elicited feelings of contentment from her.

  
The office suite for the I.T. department unlocked with a muffled click of Sun-Mi's key. She strode into the inky blackness of the unlit office, feeling the wall for the light switch. As usual, she was the first to arrive for work. Sun-Mi had been promoted to Head of I.T. about a year before, and this required her presence in the office an hour earlier than any of her technicians.

  
She deposited her bag behind her desk and placed her lunch in the office fridge before opening up the large room in back, greeted by the gentle whirring and clicking of the company servers. Sun-Mi booted up the powerful computer at the front of the room, running an in-depth diagnostic as she did at the beginning of every week, ensuring that the servers were running properly, and checking for evidence of suspicious activity. Once she could be certain that everything was running smoothly, she returned to her desk and turned on her own machine, sipping her tea as the "Welcome" screen greeted her. She opened her email inbox, then an internet browser, navigating to the live-streaming site for her favorite radio station. Cheerful classical music filled the room as that morning's "Road Rage Remedy" played on the airwaves.

  
Sun-Mi's lead-technician-slash-best-friend, Mina, arrived around 7:45, carelessly dropping her jacket and motorcycle helmet next to her desk, then ever-so-gently pulling a shiny laptop from her crossbody bag.

  
"Yo."

  
"Hey, Mina."

  
Mina snapped open an energy drink, its artifical fruit scent filling the air, and wandered over to Sun-Mi's desk, leaning over her shoulder. "So what's on the docket today, chief?"

  
"I got an email from purchasing. The new graphics cards for the advertising division came in. It should be an easy install, just a time-consuming one. We'll get Dae and Mangjeol to do it."

  
Mina threw a finger gun, making a clicking sound with her mouth. "I'm finishing up that revision on the firewall upgrade proposal so we can re-submit it by the end of the month. I know it got shot down by Exec before, but I really think it's something that needs to happen."

  
"I agree with you, Mina, but it's not me you have to convince. You gotta sway the boss man."

  
Mina rambled on. "I mean, I'm sure the Board of Directors sees us as not being at risk for cyber attacks, but I know what kinds of people are out there. Besides...the Executive Director's charity organization was targeted recently. It's not ridiculous to think that we could potentially be those hackers' next step."

  
Sun-Mi looked up, worried. "You should put that in your proposal!"

  
Mina shook her head. "I can't. I got that information through channels of...um, questionable legality."

  
"MINA! Who did you hack?!"

  
"Hmm...'hacking' is such an unpleasant way of putting it. I prefer the term 'Guerrilla Coding.'"

  
\---

  
Jumin Han's eye twitched as he stared at his computer monitor, hands folded neatly under his chin. He'd opened the email program five minutes ago, and it still wasn't checking for new messages. Growing frustrated, he decided to try opening his mailbox online, and clicked the icon for Web Explorer.

  
"The Web Page Could Not Be Displayed."

  
Jumin groaned, running his hands through his shiny, black-brown hair. After an incredibly stressful weekend, he had returned to work, somehow feeling more emotionally exhausted than he had when the weekend began. This was exactly the kind of bullshit he DIDN'T need right now.

  
He finally looked at the internet icon on the toolbar, seeing the "NO INTERNET ACCESS" message. Growling, Jumin dragged himself out of his chair and cracked open the office door.

  
"Assistant Kang, do you have internet access?"

  
Jaehee swiveled her chair around to make eye contact. "I do have access. Is yours not working, Mr. Han?"

  
Jumin shook his head. "Please call down to I.T. and see if they can send someone up to take a look." As much as he didn't want to deal with some sweaty, mouth-breathing, basement dweller staining his keyboard with cheesy poof grease, he needed internet access to perform his responsibilities as Executive Director. Hopefully, this would be an easy fix.

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi stared across the room at Mina as she typed, her noise-canceling headphones keeping her blissfully unaware of the ringing telephone on her desk. Sun-Mi waved her hands wildly until Mina looked up at her, then stuck out her thumb and pinky finger, mouthing the word "PHONE!"

  
Mina jerked the headphones off of her head, grabbing the receiver.

  
"I.T.; Have you tried turning it off and on again?...Oh...Oh, yes. I see. Let me transfer you to the department head."

  
Sun-Mi cocked an eyebrow, taking the call when it arrived. "Sun-Mi Dang, Head of I.T."

  
"Miss Dang, this is Chief Assistant Kang."

  
"Good morning, how can I help you?"

  
"I'm afraid the Executive Director's computer is unable to access the internet currently. Would you be willing to come up and try to fix it?"

  
"Of course. I'll head right up."

  
The unusual phone conversation had captured the interest of Sun-Mi's technicians. "What on Earth was that about?" Dae asked her.

  
"The Executive Director lost internet. I'm going up to take a look."

  
"10,000 won says his ethernet's unplugged." Mangjeol quipped.

  
Sun-Mi laughed. "We'll see." She grabbed another quick sip of tea and headed for the elevator, pressing the button for the top floor once inside.

  
The lift slowly ascended, picking up and dropping off other young professionals with important things to do. Sun-Mi couldn't help but feel a bit of hesitation. She never liked interacting with the higher-ups. They always acted as if the technician's presence was as much of an annoyance as the technical issue itself. Then again, the Executive Director was supposedly still fairly young...around Sun-Mi's age? It seemed like she'd heard that somewhere. Maybe he would act differently?

  
The elevator finally dinged as it arrived on the top floor, and Sun-Mi exited, striding toward the large corner office. Her heart rate increased, as this situation was always a bit anxiety-inducing, considering professionals at this level could fire her on the spot if they were dissatisfied with her performance. Sun-Mi sure liked being employed. _I work hard so my cat can have a better life. At least, that's what my favorite coffee mug says._

  
Chief Assistant Kang looked up as Sun-Mi approached her desk. "Ah, Miss Dang. Let me take you in."

  
\---

  
Chief Assistant Kang tapped lightly on the door as she guided Sun-Mi into the Executive Director's office.

  
"Mr. Han, Miss Dang is here to-"

  
He interrupted her mid-sentence. "Assistant Kang, I don't have time to deal with secretaries right now. I'm waiting for someone to come up from I.T. and fix my computer."

  
_Well, OKAY then, ass._ "Mr. Han, I-"

  
"Did you not hear me? I don't have time for this. Please come back later."

  
Sun-Mi narrowed her eyes, exchanging a glance with Assistant Kang. Politeness clearly got you nowhere with this douche-canoe. She sighed loudly and cleared her throat.

  
"Are you just going to keep standing there?"

  
"Do you want your computer fixed or not?" _Asshole._ "I came up here to repair your internet connection, but if you don't have the TIME for that," Sun-Mi was now speaking through clenched teeth, "I can leave." She knew that she probably shouldn't be mouthing off like this, that her behavior could get her fired immediately, and without recourse, but there was no way in hell that Sun-Mi was going to just stand around being disrespected.

  
Jumin's eyes widened, taken aback. He'd never actually had an employee back-talk him before. Usually, they just slunk away, embarrassed and defeated, but this... _Miss Dang_...sure could run her mouth. He was caught a little off-guard, and made a mental note to contact HR, just to make sure that his assumption of Miss Dang being a secretary wouldn't land him in the middle of a gender discrimination lawsuit. He cleared his throat. "You came from I.T.?"

  
_That's what I said, isn't it?_ "Yes. I'm the _department head_ of I.T., actually." _Because apparently you're too fuckin' special to have a regular technician come up._ Sun-Mi strode forward and stood in front of the mahogany desk, staring down her nose at the Director. "What exactly seems to be wrong with your connection?"

  
Mr. Han gave an exasperated sigh. "It's just not working. Please, just do whatever you need to do to fix it. I have important things to do."

  
_Oh, that's SO helpful. Thank you so much._ "Allow me to take a look." Her lip curled as she spoke

  
Jumin stood and stepped away from the desk, smoothing his jacket. He gestured toward the machine. "Please."

  
Assistant Kang quietly excused herself and Sun-Mi moved to stand in front of the monitor, tucking a soft curl of hair behind her ear as she opened the Network Settings panel, checking to see if the device had merely been temporarily disconnected from the network. "Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?" She knew that simply restarting the machine probably wouldn't solve this particular problem, but the question allowed her to deliver a subtle dig at Mr. Han- one that he was probably too dense to catch.

  
"Why would that help at all?" Okay, so maybe he wasn't quite as dim as Sun-Mi had expected.

  
"Sometimes a computer just needs a minute to get its life together."

  
"If only the same concept applied to insubordinate employees."

  
Sun-Mi bristled. She really, really did not like this man. He was a pompous ass, just like every other trust-funder she'd ever met. Money made people ugly inside, she'd long-ago decided. The Executive Director was no exception.

  
Ruling out a network issue, Sun-Mi turned her thoughts to the possibility of a mechanical error. She shifted her attention to the CPU tower, sliding it forward a few centimeters. She leaned over, examining the numerous cords plugged into the back. One particular port seemed to be missing its connection. _Bingo. Looks like Mangjeol will be winning his bet._

  
She squatted down, peering behind the desk, locating the missing cable. She grabbed it and waved it at Mr. Han. "Your ethernet cable was unplugged." She smirked inwardly. "This is where the internet comes from," she added condescendingly.

  
Jumin found Miss Dang's attitude abhorrent. The way her eyes remained half-lidded even as she raised her eyebrows, silently implying that she found him rather stupid, they way she spoke with an air of intellectual superiority, her complete disregard for company hierarchy. His eyes narrowed, casting a glare in her direction. "I know what an ethernet cable is."

  
"But you didn't check to see if it was unplugged?"

  
She had him there. Any technical knowledge he possessed was irrelevent if he still had to have someone fix simple problems for him. He would have to concede this round to Miss Dang, though his mistake still did not excuse her disrespectful behavior. He cleared his throat. "Is the issue resolved now?"

  
Miss Dang reconnected the ethernet cable to the tower, checking the internet icon on the monitor. It processed for a moment, before switching to the "INTERNET ACCESS" graphic. "You appear to have internet access now. Go ahead and open your email inbox, just to make certain."

  
Jumin returned to his desk, following her instructions. A steady stream of email messages arrived, signaling that the powerful network connection had been reestablished. Exhaling loudly, Miss Dang made her way toward the door. "Will that be all, Mr. Han?" Her voice carried a palpable tone of annoyance that grated roughly on Jumin's nerves.

  
Not even bothering to make eye contact, he waved her away. He felt flustered, and not in a good way. Miss Dang infuriated him, threatened to make him lose all composure, but despite how salty he felt about the interaction, he knew he couldn't fire her just because he found her personally insufferable. Jumin's retaliation would have to be more subtle than that. _This isn't over yet._

  
\---

  
Finally returning to the basement office, Sun-Mi was immediately arrested with questions regarding her ordeal.

  
"Well?"

  
Wordlessly, Sun-Mi removed some cash from her wallet, placing it on Mangjeol's desk.

  
"S-seriously?"

  
"Yep."

  
The technicians were momentarily silent before breaking out into peals of laughter. "Oh god, oh god," Mina stammered. "You have to tell us everything."

  
"Well, first of all, he's the biggest asshole I've ever met in my life." Sun-Mi began to recount the event, having to pause momentarily after telling how Mr. Han had mistaken her for a secretary, because Mina was practically screaming with laughter.

  
"What-ha-a-ha- _DOUCHE_!"

  
"I think I'm going to send out an email on behalf of I.T., describing common technical issues and how to easily resolve them; in the name of efficiency, of course."

  
"Oh, please, PLEASE do that," Dae begged.

  
Sun-mi set right to work on the email, opening a design program to create a cheerful-looking graphic to insert into the mass message.

  
"Hey, Sun-Mi, do you happen to have a photo of the Executive Director?" Mina suddenly asked.

  
"First, no. Second, why?"

  
"No reason."

  
Ten minutes later, Sun-Mi could hear the color printer whirring, Mina jumping up to collect the document that emerged. _Do I want to know what she's up to?...Yes, actually, I do._ She meandered over to Mina's desk, making the purple-haired woman jump.

  
"Mina, what are you doing with that picture of Mr. Han?"

  
Mina opened a desk drawer, removing a bottle of glue and a bag of googly eyes. "Making a masterpiece."

  
"Why do you have googly eyes in your drawer?"

  
"Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to sneak around and glue them to inanimate objects. Don't tell anyone it's me though." She selected two matching eyes and stuck them to the photo before drawing a speech bubble saying "Hurr durr what's a computer."

  
The silliness of it caught Sun-Mi by surprise, and she bent over, so taken with laughter that almost no sound escaped her, only a slight wheeze discernible. "A masterpiece indeed."

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi arrived home late that afternoon, wanting only to cuddle up on the couch with her cat and a glass of scotch. "Choo-Choo, I met the biggest jerk in the world today. You should put your butt in his face." She and Choo-Choo watched the evening news together, Sun-Mi wondering aloud what she should eat for dinner, as if Choo-Choo could offer his opinion.

  
Her cell phone began vibrating next to her, the image of her father appearing on the screen.

  
" _Appa_ , how are you?"

  
"Hello, sweetheart. Are you home from work now?"

  
"Yes, I just got in a few minutes ago."

  
"Did you have a good day?"

  
"Eh, it was a mixed bag. How was yours?"

  
"Oh, you know how it goes. Listen, I'm meeting with my personal lawyer tomorrow to update my will..."

  
Sun-Mi sighed, knowing where this conversation was headed.

  
"I know what you've said before...but please. Think about it some more. Honestly, I've never in my life seen someone flat-out refuse an inheritance."

  
"I have my reasons, _Appa_."

  
"I know, and they're not necessarily bad reasons, but...I don't know what else I'd do with my estate. You're my only child, and my only wish is for you to always be taken care of. I'd like you to enjoy the fruits of my labor. You could even donate it all to charity if you like. You're the only family I have, darling. I only want to give you the world."

\---

Sun-Mi's Character Profile: 

http://squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com/post/156817140686/sun-mi-dang-age-26-height-165-cm-birthday

 


	18. We Love What Submits to Us

"So this is the new series you've started?" Chae-Young Kwon asked, her thumb on her chin as she gazed discerningly at the canvas in front of her. Her eyes flicked across the surface, drinking in the image of her faculty advisor smashed up against a white-haired man, mid-coitus."

  
"It is," Yuki answered. "What are your thoughts?"

  
Chae-Young tapped her index finger against her lips thoughtfully. "It makes me think of that one Koons series..."

  
" _Made in Heaven_?"

  
"That's the one...Oh! That's not to say that this is at all derivative. This has more..." Chae-Young waved her hand in a looping motion as she searched for the right word. "Softness. It's gentler, there's a...tenderness to it."

  
"The working title for the series _is_ 'Tender is the Night.'"

  
"And this is your boyfriend? It seems you're found yourself quite a muse..."

  
"Yep!"

  
"I guess that's why it seems so authentic..."

  
"I'm not planning on the series being exclusive to the two of us. I want to use a variety of models, posed together similarly. Thoughts?"

  
"Well, I'm only a TA, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I think it's interesting. I want to see more like this. In fact...if you need models, I'd be willing to pose for some reference shots. I'm assuming you're working from photographs?"

  
"Mhmm. Using you as a subject could even be a narrative within itself. I could have you pose on several different occasions, each time with your um...flavor-of-the-day?" Yuki's tone carried no malice, as Chae-Young's sexual exploits were no matter to her. However, she did enjoy delivering snide remarks here and there, if only for the humorous reactions they earned her. "Do you have any suggestions?"

  
"Hmm...Maybe...several large images of each couple or group in different poses, hung side-by-side as one cohesive piece. The title could be the names of the people depicted?"

  
Yuki paused for a moment, scratching her head as she stared off into space, imagining Chae-Young's suggestion. "I actually like that idea. Having multiple images expands the narrative of each scenario."

  
"I guess you could say... _It helps flesh it out more_?" She pointed two finger guns at Yuki, who groaned at the bad pun.

  
Yuki resumed her careful study of the image, muttering to herself and making little notes on a scrap of paper, not noticing the two men poking their faces in the door, one of whom Chae-Young recognized immediately.

  
"Yuki, your boo-thing is here," she smirked.

  
\---

  
Yuki turned back around so quickly that Chae-Young was afraid she might give herself whiplash. "Hyun! What are you doing here?"

  
The man gathered Yuki in his arms, planting a kiss on her forehead. "Thought you might like a little snack, since you'll be late getting out of here tonight! It was Yoosung's idea, actually," he answered, gesturing toward the other young man standing in the doorway.

  
"Hiya!~ We brought goldfish bread!"

  
"Oh~ the two of you are so thoughtful!" Yuki put her hands against her cheeks, smiling. "Oh! That's right! I haven't introduced you yet! This is Chae-Young Kwon, one of our Painting Grads. She's going to be my TA starting next semester. Chae-Young, this is my boyfriend, Hyun Ryu, and our friend Yoosung Kim."

  
"Pleasure." Chae-Young stuck out her arm to firmly shake hands with the two men, eyeing them as she did so. Yuki's boyfriend, Hyun, appeared to be a little younger than she. _I never knew you were such a wolf, Yuki!_

  
Her gaze lingered a bit longer on Yoosung as her brain attempted to gather visual data. _Bleached hair, big eyes, not yet at full adult height...he's still a kid. An undergrad, maybe?_ "Well, Yuki, I'll leave you to it. I think I'll go hunt down some goldfish bread myself, since I'm craving it now." She made her way toward the door as Yuki's companions pulled a couple of chairs over to her desk, Yoosung digging through the paper bag.

  
"Oh! Chae-Young, wait! They gave us an extra goldfish! Do you want it?"

  
Chae-Young put up her hands. "Ah, no, that's all right. You can have it."

  
"Chae-Young, come back and eat the bread. There's plenty for everyone," Yuki insisted.

  
"Well, if you're sure..." She pulled a chair over to the desk to join the group. She thanked Yoosung as he passed her the goldfish, taking its head off in one bite. "Soooo gooooooood..." Suddenly voracious, Chae-Young devoured the bread, wiping her hands on her paint-stained jeans.

  
The building's furnace began rumbling, pumping heat into the room. Yuki sighed, fanning herself. "I really should say something about the temperature in this building...The A/C is too much in the Summer, and the furnace is too high in Winter." She removed her cardigan, draping it neatly over the back of her chair.

  
Chae-Young agreed heartily. The heat beginning to get to her, she grabbed the bottom of her hoodie, pulling it off over her head, and ran a hand through her hair to smooth it.

 

"Whoa! You play LOLOL?" Yoosung looked like his eyes might pop out of his skull.

  
"Hm?" Chae-Young looking down at her shirt, reminded of the day's t-shirt choice."Oh. Yeah." _Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I play video games_ , she though facetiously. "I mean like, tabletop gaming will always be my first love- that's how I got into LOLOL in the first place. One of my friends in my BNB group got me into it, because it's still role playing and adventuring and stuff, but you don't have to get your whole group together to play..."

  
"Chae-Young's inner geek has awakened," Yuki commented to no one in particular.

  
Chae-Young rambled on. "...and you can play LOLOL for as short a time as you want, while BNB sessions can run anywhere from 3-10 hours, depending on your group's tendency to get distracted. Though, I haven't been playing LOLOL for all that long, only about two years now..."

  
"I play too! I'm pretty good, but you're probably better. You've been playing longer than I have."

  
"And she's probably still less addicted to it," Yuki muttered, taking a sip of her tea.

  
"I mean, to be fair, it can get pretty engrossing."

  
Yoosung grabbed a sticky note and jotted down his username. "We should play together sometime!"

  
"Yeah, sure." _He's like an excited puppy._

  
"Just what Yoosung needs: a reason to play LOLOL even more..." Zen sighed, exchanging a glance with Yuki.

  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Yoosung pouted.

 

"Oh, nothing. Just don't go skipping class to play that game." The cogs inside Yuki's brain began to spin, formulating ideas into plans. She took another long drink.

  
"You skip class just to play LOLOL? That's pretty lame, dude." Chae-Young leaned back, supporting her head with her tattooed arms, tapping the heels of her high-tops against the industrial tile floor. Yoosung's mouth opened, but no sound came out. "I mean, you don't want to be one of those forty-year-old NEETs still living in their parents' basement, right?"

  
"No..."

  
"So don't be stupid. Take care of business first, then play games when you have time. After all, they're made to help people relax after a hard day of work."

  
Yoosung didn't quite know what to say. _Chae-Young is really...cool..._

  
\---

  
"That's right, we didn't ever get around to talking about your current work," Yuki reminded Chae-Young. "Do you have a picture of what you're working on right now?"

  
"Mm." Chae-Young pulled out her cell phone, scrolling through several images of in-progress paintings. Unnerving imagery, old photographs of abandoned carnival features, of creepy vintage Halloween masks, of people in poses way too playful in contrast to the hazmat suits that they wore.

  
"And these are a continuation of the 'Cursed Images' series?"

  
"Cursed Images?" Yoosung cocked his head to the side, confusion apparent on his face.

  
Chae-Young sat up straight, reverting into Art-Discourse-Mode(TM). "The Cursed Images series makes use of photographs that, while often innocuous, possess some sinister quality which stimulate discomfort in the viewer, creating questions which have no answers, invoking the sublime."

  
"Before you ask, that IS the standard spiel she gives to everyone. Chae-Young, maybe you should translate it into Non-MFA?"

  
"I paint photographs that aren't necessarily of anything bad, but they're creepy, so they make the viewer uncomfortable, because there's no explanation as to what's going on. They pose more questions than they answer. As for the sublime...Edmund Burke describes the 'sublime' as that which inspires terror and awe. Things that fascinate us because they are potentially threatening, but in a vague, chaotic sort of way. We are uncomfortable in our inability to understand, in our powerlessness. The 'sublime' is the antithesis to 'beauty.'" Chae-Young's eyes glittered as she spoke. "To quote Burke, "...we submit to what we admire, but we love what submits to us."

  
Yoosung furrowed his brow in intense concentration. Chae-Young had lost him at "Burke," but he was doing his best, goddammit.

  
"Don't feel bad dude, it all went over my head too," Zen sighed.

  
"Speaking of work that touches on sublimity, Kat's "Liminal Spaces" show is coming up next week. You're planning on going, right?"

  
Yuki smacked herself in the face. "Shit! I almost forgot! Yeah, of course I'll be there. We can make it a date, Hyun!"

  
Zen scratched his head. "I think V said something about going to an exhibition soon. What is the artist's name, again?"

  
"Kat Stolz."

  
"That sounds familiar."

  
Yoosung was befuddled. Something didn't quite add up here. "Why would V...go to an exhibition...that he can't see?"

  
"From what I know, he's been following this artist's career for a long time. He has a lot of respect for her work. I think he just wants to go to be supportive."

  
Chae-Young pulled one leg up into her seat, resting an arm on her knee. "It's gonna be so funnnnnn~ I can't wait! Good art, free booze...That's my kind of Friday night!" She closed her eyes in reverie, grinning broadly.

  
_So cool..._ "I-I wanna go too!" Yoosung exclaimed suddenly. Yuki raised an eyebrow.

  
Chae-Young started laughing. "Yoosung knows what's up! It won't be top-shelf, but it'll be free."

  
_Yes, Chae-Young, it's the promise of free alcohol that's drawing him in._ Yuki smirked. For someone so intelligent and discerning in her field, Chae-Young really was an oblivious person. She could analyze art theory texts and comprehend highly-abstract concepts with the best, but often failed to notice things happening right in front of her. She certainly was fortunate to have a faculty supervisor as wise and emotionally in-tune as Yuki!

  
\---

  
Muffled rap music filled Yuki's office, and Chae-Young groaned. She grabbed the Fjordraven Kraken bag that she had previously dumped on the floor, digging out her cell phone and switching off the alarm.

  
"Welp, it's been fun, but I have to go pick up a painting before my studio starts." She pulled her hoodie back over her head and slung her backpack over one shoulder before treading swiftly out of the office. "Later Yuki!....Oh!" Chae-Young's face popped back through the doorway. "It was nice to meet you guys." She threw up a quick peace sign before vanishing from sight once again.

  
Yuki and Zen were quiet for a few minutes as they waited for Chae-Young to get out of earshot.

  
Zen gave a low chuckle. "Smooth, dude."

  
"W-what are you talking about?" Yoosung was genuinely confused. _Did...I do something weird?_

  
Yuki cracked up. "Talkin' about 'Let's play together sometime.'"

  
Zen egged her on. "And you KNOW what the subtext there was!"

  
"LET'S PLAY TOGETHER SOMETIME!" they crowed in unison.

  
Color rose in Yoosung's face as he understood their meaning. "You two are nasty! I didn't mean anything inappropriate by it!"

  
His friends continued howling with laughter. _Perverts. All I did was offer to play a game that we both like. That's not weird...is it?_

  
"Was...it really that awkward?" The space between Yoosung's eyes creased with worry, and Yuki's laugh gradually died out, though her crooked grin remained.

  
"No, dude, you're fine. We're just messin' with ya."

  
"The way you acted...it was just funny to us."

  
"So cute!~"

  
"Cute?! What's cute?!"

  
"Nothing~" Yuki looked at her watch. "Unfortunately, it's time for me to be kicking you both out. I have to get to class." She stood, shuffling the two men toward the door, giving Zen a quick good-bye kiss. "See you at home."

  
"See you tonight babe. Be careful getting back."

  
"Bye Yuki...Um...if Chae-Young says anything...about me...l-let me know, okay?"

  
Yuki raised her eyebrows, giving a knowing grin. "I will."

  
\---

  
The deed done, Chae-Young extracted herself from the man's embrace, rolling out of the bed and padding over to collect the clothes she'd left in a sad pile on the floor. The man watched her as she walked, brushing his bleached-blond hair out of his face.

  
"You're really gorgeous, you know that?"

  
"I've been told," she muttered, her back toward him. Dressed, she grabbed her wallet, keys, and phone from the table by the door, moonlight flooding inside as she swung it open.

  
"Y-you're leaving already? Why?"

  
"Because I'm sufficiently numb," she called back, closing the front door softly, gone as quickly as she'd arrived.

  
Chae-Young climbed into her hybrid, turning the key in the ignition. She stared at the woman in the rear-view mirror, face lit only by the soft glow of the dashboard. "What?" she asked her. _Really? Another random hook-up from Tender? Whore._ Chae-Young smashed her index finger against the power button on the audio system, the CD changer whirring and clicking. The jarring tones of the witch house CD blared from the speakers, overpowering the criticisms coursing through her brain. She lit a cigarette and took a long drag, blowing the smoke out of the driver-side window as she took off the parking brake.

  
Comfortably numb, she drove off into the night.

  
The Art wing of the Daesun Graduate Residence building never seemed to quiet down completely. Someone was always awake, blasting music or smoking or cussing their art or fucking; and so, it never felt lonely. Chae-Young liked it this way. Entering her apartment, she switched on the light, kicking the door shut. A heavy sigh escaped her as she dropped her bag on the floor next to the couch. She kicked her shoes off, one of them hitting the wall with a loud _THUD._

  
Chae-Young poured herself a nightcap before flopping down on the couch and digging through her bag for her well-worn, leather-bound sketchbook. She flipped it open, sticking another cigarette in her mouth as she read and re-read her professor's comments on the piece she had shown during critique, making her own notes in the margins. A shadow of an idea coming into her brain, she flipped to the next clean page to sketch it.

  
A neon-green sticky note fluttered from the book, landing face-up in her lap. "Oh yeah..."

  
\---

  
"Orcs! Orcs fuckin' everywhere!" Yoosung's teammate screeched over the headset.

  
"Where?! I don't see any!"

  
"Dude! Behind you!"

  
"Damn it!" Yoosung threw his head back and groaned as his group was soundly defeated. "Ughhhhh..."

  
"Alright dude. I've got an 8:00 am class tomorrow, so I'm gonna go get some rest."

  
"Okay. Let me know if you want to play again tomorrow." Yoosung spun his chair around aimlessly, not really sure what to do with himself now that the last match of the night had ended. Sure, he could always go to bed, but... solo-mode LOLOL was always an option, right?

  
Yoosung was just about to begin a new quest when a notification appeared in the corner of the screen.

  
"User [YUNGCHAE] has added you as a friend."

\---

A/N: Chae-Young's character profile:

http://squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com/post/156950490951/chae-young-kwon-age-23-height-153-cm-birthday

 

Yuki in this chapter: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cja529hUYAUZ-xk.jpg


	19. Power Play

The gentle whirring of the servers greeted Sun-Mi as they did every morning, lights dancing intermittently in the darkness. She began the daily diagnostic before returning to her desk with haste, having several tasks to complete before the 9:00 a.m. department heads' meeting. She'd been dreading this meeting ever since she'd received the Overlook notification a week before. Normally, these kinds of meetings were scheduled at least a month in advance, but this quarter's gathering had been moved up, just days after Sun-Mi's uncomfortable interaction with the Executive Director, and the coincidence sent a chill up her spine.

  
The Zeroz machine grumbled and hummed, churning out copies of a short agenda which listed Sun-Mi's talking points for the meeting. Mina had completed her revisions on the firewall upgrade proposal, and Sun-Mi intended to mention it today, slightly nervous that her previous clash with Mr. Han would negatively impact the proposal's chances of success.

  
"Woo-Hoo~ You're dressed up today! Got a hot date?" Mina exclaimed, scanning Sun-Mi's silk sheath dress, nylons, and pointy-toed leather heels.

  
Sun-Mi snorted. "Hardly. I've got that department heads' meeting today. When you're speaking in front of the Board of Directors, it quickly becomes a formal affair."

  
"So you'll be seeing your good friend Mister Executive Director today?"

  
"Ugh. Don't remind me. I'm already stressed enough." After their volatile meeting before, the Director was sure to have a few condescending remarks to make in response to Sun-Mi's report. That wasn't to say that she was afraid of him! That would be ridiculous. She merely had concerns that the Director's personal annoyances would hinder his professionalism.

  
She continued her preparations, sorting her handouts into folders and making a few notes for herself of her own copy of the agenda, until the time came for her to head upstairs to the executive conference room. She gathered her documents, touched up her lipstick, and headed for the elevator.

  
\---

  
Finally arriving at the correct floor, ten minutes early, Sun-Mi smoothed the front of her dress and took a deep breath as the elevator doors slowly opened. She lifted her chin, squared her shoulders, and strode confidently toward the conference room. Inside, she selected a seat at the far end of the table, neatly arranging her materials. A continental breakfast had been prepared for the meeting, and several other participants had already helped themselves. Sun-Mi took a paper cup, filling it with hot water. She looked through the assorted tea bags, selecting a red packet of English Breakfast and ripping it open. Dunking the bag in the hot water, she returned to her seat, crossing her legs neatly at her ankles.

  
She inhaled the aroma of the black tea blend as it steeped, the familiar scent calming her nerves ever so slightly. Unfortunately, her nerves frayed once again when the doors to the conference room opened and Mr. Han strode in, flanked by Assistant Kang. Sun-Mi looked away, busying herself with her papers and silencing her cell phone.

  
The Director took a seat at the head of the table as Assistant Kang passed around agendas for the day's meeting. Sun-Mi scanned the page she was given, noting that she'd been scheduled toward the end of the meeting. _Sun-Mi Dang, Head of I.T.: Announcements & Comments._ Once all of those present had taken their seats and quieted themselves, the meeting began. Mr. Han stood to address the room, buttoning his jacket as he did so.

  
"Good morning, everyone. Thank you for gathering here on such short notice. I apologize if this caused any inconvenience. Today we'll be hearing updates from the heads of each department: new developments, upcoming projects, budget items, proposals. I'm anxious to get this meeting underway, so let's go ahead and proceed to the first item on the agenda. Research & Development, please go ahead."

  
R&D launched into their presentation, briefly explaining their progress on various projects, describing the difficulty of formulating a cat-safe wine. _Wine? For a cat? I wonder if Choo-Choo would like that...Probably not. He digs through the trash and eats used tissues. Hardly a sophisticated palate..._

  
One by one the other departments gave their spiel. Most of them didn't concern Sun-Mi in the slightest. Advertising offered their thanks for the new graphics cards that her technicians had installed, and HR notified everyone that their dental insurance provider would be changing, but that was about it. Regardless, she listened politely, patiently awaiting her turn to speak, not really wanting it to come.

  
Sun-Mi looked down toward the other end of the table when Accounting began their presentation, only to notice Mr. Han staring at her. She raised an eyebrow as if to say _The fuck are you looking at?_ before averting her eyes to look at the speaker. _Weird..._

  
\---

  
Unfortunately, the time did come for Sun-Mi to finally speak. She cleared her throat and stood, handing the stack of agendas to the person on her left.

  
"Good morning. My name is Sun-Mi Dang, and I am head of I.T." No matter how tumultuous she felt inside, Sun-Mi always managed to present herself as collected, detached, and, above all, professional. She'd been trained from a young age to hide her emotions, to put on the air of pleasantry despite inner conflict. Her etiquette was impeccable, at least, until she was treated poorly, and even then, she still spoke politely, her words merely colored with unemotional sarcasm.

  
She began her presentation by addressing the "Tech Tutorial" email, the one she had originally crafted as a dig at Mr. Han, asking if anyone had found it helpful, and if the departments had seen an increase in efficiency as a result. Most departments agreed that they'd learned some useful tips from the tutorial, even suggesting that I.T. offer a professional development seminar on computer usage and fixing simple technical problems.

  
Feeling confident in her decision to create the email, Sun-Mi prepared to move on to her next speaking point. Mr. Han stopped her.

  
"Before we continue, I have one comment to make, if I may."

  
Sun-Mi swallowed hard, nodding.

  
"In my opinion, sending a tutorial email seems to communicate that I.T. is trying to avoid doing their jobs. That perhaps they feel that fixing these seemingly simple issues is beneath them. Excuse us if we are not quite as tech-literate as the Geek Squad in the basement."

  
_Oh, you wanna do this? You wanna dance, asshole? Well let's fucking dance._ "It was not our intention to seem condescending. We simply realize that it can sometimes be inconvenient for employees to have to call I.T. and wait for their issue to be fixed. We believe that many employees would like to be able to repair small issues, and so avoid an interruption in their productivity. That email was merely sent in the interest of efficiency." Sun-Mi turned her head ever so slightly, maintaining eye contact with the Director. "Everyone here seems to agree that the tutorial has been helpful."

  
Jumin's eyes narrowed as he held Miss Dang's gaze. He'd said all he could in criticism of the email, and she'd delivered a convincing counter-argument. He'd have to concede this point to Miss Dang, as he couldn't very well come out and say that he knew the email had been directed at him. First, such a claim would seem speculative at best to anyone other than Miss Dang and himself. Second, that accusation would require him to admit that he'd been unable to fix a simple issue himself, and Jumin very much did not want to do that.

  
\---

  
"Okay, if there are no further comments regarding the Tech Tutorial message, I'd like to move on to the next item. A few months ago, we submitted a proposal to upgrade the company's firewall in the interest of increasing cyber-security. This proposal was rejected by the Board of Directors. However-" Sun-Mi was interrupted by the Executive Director.

  
"If the proposal was rejected previously, why are you bringing it up now? Is it your intention to waste our time?"

  
_Is it your intention to be a pompous ass?_ "HOWEVER," Sun-Mi continued, "we feel that considering the company's growth and expansion into global markets, we should upgrade our security measures accordingly. We have revised the proposal, and intend to re-submit it for review." She took the folder containing copies of the proposal, flipping it open and grabbing the stack of papers.

  
She hissed, jerking her hand back as a rogue sheet sliced her finger. Two tiny ruby specks beaded up at the surface of her flesh, and Sun-Mi pressed the finger to her lips to clean them away.

  
"Are you quite all right, Miss Dang?" the Director asked, exasperation apparent.

  
"I'm fine. It's just a papercut." Sun-Mi took the papers from their folder, tapping them against the table to straighten them.

  
"Do you need a bandage?"

  
"I do not."

  
"Assistant Kang can get the first aid kit for you if you need."

  
"I don't need anything." Sun-Mi prepared to hand the stack of papers to the person on her left.

  
Mr. Han cleared his throat loudly. "Miss Dang, you will wait for Assistant Kang to get the first aid kit for you, and then you will put a bandage on your cut before handing off those papers. Blood is a biohazard, and I will not have everyone in this room exposed to it."

  
Sun-Mi stiffened, her eyes wide. Normally, she wouldn't take this sort of treatment for a second. However, the last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene in front of everyone present. She clenched her jaw, holding her tongue.

  
The five minutes of silence while Assistant Kang went for the first aid kit were very uncomfortable for everyone in the conference room. The department heads looked at one another, whispering, confused by what was happening. Mr. Han sat, arms folded, staring at Sun-Mi, who stood frozen in place, hands starting to shake. This was perhaps the most embarrassing thing she'd ever experienced in the workplace. The Director's behavior was cruel, unprofessional, and entirely unacceptable, and Sun-Mi never could have guessed that this would be how he would choose to retaliate.

  
Finally, Assistant Kang returned to the conference room, passing the plastic box to Sun-Mi, who quickly wrapped a bandage around her finger and shuffled the papers off, anxious to finally finish her presentation.

  
Her voice wavering, Sun-Mi began to speak once again, attempting to explain the gist of the proposal, along with the changes Mina had made in attempt to get the Board's approval. However, Sun-Mi found herself stumbling over her words, struggling to focus and speak coherently. Mr. Han raised an eyebrow.

  
"Miss Dang, is there a problem?"

  
Sun-Mi's mouth hung open, her eyes two blue flames. _Fuck. You._ Finally forcing herself to center her focus, she managed to finish the presentation before sinking into her seat, defeated. She stared down into her lap, a lump forming in her throat.

  
Jumin smiled to himself. _Victory._

  
\---

  
When the meeting finally ended, Sun-Mi stood abruptly, striding out of the room as quickly as her heels would allow. She clasped a hand over her mouth, hot tears stinging the corners of her eyes. She broke into a little half-jog, anxious to get to the elevator. Mr. Han followed at a brisk pace, buttoning his jacket once again.

  
"Miss Dang!"

  
Sun-Mi increased her speed, pretending to not hear him. He caught her arm, and she whirled around.

  
"Miss Dang-"

  
Sun-Mi spoke through clenched teeth, shaking a finger at the man. "You do not EVER humiliate me like that again." Her voice cracked as she spoke, and Mr. Han took her by the wrist, pulling her aside into an empty meeting room, closing the door behind him.

  
"Please take a minute to pull yourself together."

  
Sun-Mi's lips formed the first consonant of a word, but she stopped herself from finishing it, realizing that she'd be fired immediately if she popped off and told the Executive Director to go fuck himself.

  
"Honestly, you are just so out of line today."

  
"YOU'RE the one that's out of line!" Sun-Mi spat back.

  
"How dare you speak to me that way. I'm of the Board of Directors!"

  
"I don't care who you are! You don't get to treat me that way! You don't get to treat anyone that way!" The angry tears had spilled over now, pouring down Sun-Mi's freckled cheeks. She'd been mortified before, and now things were even worse. She'd lost composure, revealing all of the potent, ugly emotions inside. Sun-Mi hated having other people see her cry, and could count on one hand the people who had ever seen her tears. And now, here she was, sniveling like a baby in front of the man she so loathed, feeling absolutely helpless.

  
Mr. Han gave a disapproving little huff, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a pristine, white cotton handkerchief. "Clean yourself up," he scoffed, holding out the cloth.

  
"Don't you patronize me." Sun-Mi slapped his hand away, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand and stalking out of the room, the door slamming behind her.

  
As she walked away, Jumin noticed two things about Miss Dang. 1.) She smelled like $300 Thomas Ward perfume. 2.) The soles of her heels were bright, cherry red.

  
\---

  
Jaehee Kang watched as Miss Dang made a beeline from the meeting room to the elevator, feeling just slightly compelled to go after her. Mr. Han exited the meeting room shortly after, shaking his head as he fidgeted with his shirt sleeve.

  
"W-what did you say to her?" Jaehee asked, eyes wide.

  
"I simply notified Miss Dang that her behavior today has been thoroughly inappropriate, and I gave her a moment to calm herself down." Mr. Han turned his gaze to watch the woman enter the elevator, still swiping angrily at her reddened eyes.

  
"Do you think maybe you were too cruel to her? Did you really need to take it that far?"

  
"Insubordinate employees must be dealt with accordingly, Assistant Kang. I don't think Miss Dang will be a problem any longer."

  
Jumin gave a self-satisfied smirk. _Checkmate._


	20. Chae

The sun had long since set when Chae-Young finally put down her brush for the night. She took a few steps back and narrowed her gaze, brows knitting together as her eyes traveled across the picture plane. Chae-Young rubbed at her eyes, as they had grown irritated from her contact lenses. She covered her palette and grabbed a clean glass jar from a nearby shelf, along with a canister of turpentine. She filled the jar a few inches with the pungent liquid, dropping her used brushes inside, before grinding out her cigarette butt and wandering off to the bathroom to remove her contacts.

  
Chae-Young's stomach grumbled as she removed the lenses, reminding her that it had been a good ten or eleven hours since her last meal. Glasses perched on her nose, she set about making something to eat. Chae-Young's diet consisted of five major food groups: pizza, instant noodles, snack foods, coffee, and alcohol. Despite her lithe build, her eating habits were crap. She stuck a cup of water in the microwave to boil, and dumped a brick of instant noodles into a bowl, setting the flavoring and spicy sauce packets aside for the time being.

  
Once the brief preparation of her food-like substance had been completed, Chae-Young scuttled back to the main room, bowl clasped tightly in her hands, looking much like a raccoon carting stolen garbage back to its burrow. She placed her meal on a folding TV tray in front of the couch, curling up in her usual spot with her WacBook on her lap. She opened an internet browser and logged on to LOLOL, ready to end her productive evening with something just a little bit mindless. Wanting some company, she scanned her friend list, noting that Yoosung was the only one of her friends currently online. Chae-Young paused a moment before clicking "send" on a party invite.

  
\---

  
Yoosung's heart skipped a beat when the notification appeared on his screen. Unfortunately, he was already neck-deep in multiplayer mode with his guild, and they needed him badly. But on the other hand...Chae-Young was so cool...

  
"I-I gotta go now!"

  
"What?"

  
"Why?"

  
"It's only been a couple of hours!"

  
"I, uh, I have a paper I need to work on!"

  
"Okay, fine."

  
"See you later, dude."

  
Yoosung jumped over to Chae-Young's party before setting his status to "show as offline," so as to avoid arousing his guildmates' suspicion. "Chae-Young! You're online!"

  
"Yeah, I'm here. Uhh...why does it show that you're offline?"

  
_Crap._ Yoosung didn't exactly want to explain that he'd bailed on his teammates just to play with Chae-Young. He searched his brain for a decent excuse. "Oh, there's this kid in one of my classes that always wants to play together, but he gets so overly worked-up and angry when he loses, so it's kind of frustrating to play with him...Anyway, he's online right now, and I'm trying to hide from him." Yoosung laughed nervously, hoping Chae-Young would buy his fib.

  
"Sounds annoying."

  
_Phew._ "So, uh, you wanna play for a while?"

  
"Well I sure didn't come here for a tea party." Her words might have seemed a bit harsh, but Chae-Young's tone was light at amused, and Yoosung concluded that that was just her personality- dry, sarcastic, but ultimately good-natured.

  
They proceeded with their game, Chae-Young charging into the dungeon with Yoosung hot on her heels. Her character swung its great sword wildly, swiftly defeating the scores of goblins that had suddenly erupted from the shadows. They fought their way through the darkness, chattering away about, "On your left," and "Grab that potion," and "I need healing."

  
As they finally reached the end of the dungeon, Chae-Young approached the chest of loot, not noticing the ogre lurking in the pitch blackness. It lumbered toward her, club swinging, and Yoosung engaged it in battle right as it was about to take off his teammate's head.

  
"HOOOOOOOOLY SHIT!" Chae-Young hollered over the headset as Yoosung's character's sword pierced through the monster's chest. "Dude! You're super fuckin' good!"

  
Yoosung puffed out his chest a little. "I'm not number two on the Shooting Star server for nothing."

  
"N-Number two?! Damn dude!...Wait a minute...don't you skip class to play or something? Didn't Yuki say something like that?"

  
Yoosung didn't respond, and Chae-Young had her answer.

  
"Don't skip class to play video games! Go to class! Don't be a dumbass!"

  
"The professor doesn't even take attendance! It doesn't matter." Yoosung retorted, indignant.

  
"If it doesn't matter, what did you make on your midterms?"

  
_Heck._ She had him there. He didn't say anything in return.

  
"Yoosung, what did you make on your midterms?"

  
"...I failed 'em..." Yoosung muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

  
"What was that?"

  
"I failed them, okay! I failed my midterms! Are you gonna make fun of me now?" he murmured sheepishly.

  
"No, I'm not going to make fun of you. Because it isn't funny." Chae-Young's voice was firm, but sympathetic. "That's why you need to actually go to class. What time do you have class tomorrow?"

  
"10:00."

  
"Well, then I'm gonna sign off at 2:00 a.m., so that you can get to sleep, and then go to class in the morning."

  
"Oh come on!" Yoosung whined.

  
"Nope. I'm not going to enable you."

  
Yoosung felt a little funny then. As much as he hated to admit it, he actually kind of enjoyed being chided by Chae-Young. She was strict, but in a gentle sort of way, and a part of him wanted to continue his bad habits so that she would admonish him further. _It's...kind of weird, isn't it..._ He put the thought out of his mind, not really wanting to psychoanalyze himself at the moment. He made an annoyed sound, sticking out his bottom lip. "Don't YOU have to go to class tomorrow?"

  
"Yes, but I'm well-adapted to functioning on caffeine alone. I'm guessing that you don't have the same skill, as you're not an art major."

  
"How do you know I'm not an art major?"

  
"Because you're not an asshole," Chae-Young responded matter-of-factly.

  
"Are all art majors assholes?"

  
"Oh yes. In fact, it's an admission requirement."

  
"I guess that means you're an asshole too?"

  
"Oh yes. I'm the _biggest_ asshole."

  
Yoosung shook his head, chuckling a little. "No, I don't think so. Maybe you're a little abrasive on the outside, but you're a gentle person inside. I can tell."

  
Chae-Young was caught a little off guard. Chae-Young was the kind of person that most people tended to take at face-value. She put on a rough facade, and most left it at that. Very rarely did anyone see past that, and now Yoosung, who Chae-Young had talked to all of two times, was looking right into the depths of her character, reading her like a book. _What kind of person are you, Yoosung?_ "Anyway, you need to go to class tomorrow."

  
"What are you, my mom?"

  
"Dude...just...don't be a fuck-up like me."

  
"Huh?"

  
Chae-Young sighed. "I almost failed out of school my first year of undergrad."

  
"R-Really?!"

  
"Yeah. I dicked around too much and I SKIPPED CLASS ALL THE TIME. I ended up failing two classes and I lost my scholarship. I had half my tuition paid every semester, and I lost that. I had to get a job to afford my tuition, and I had to work hard to come back from my mistake. I don't want to see you do the same thing."

  
Yoosung was quiet for a moment. "I used to be a really good student. I graduated at the top of my high school class."

  
Chae-Young gasped. "Seriously?! What happened?"

  
There was a long pause then. The answer to that question was complicated. Before, it had been about Rika's death. Now...well...those feelings had been further complicated when the truth about Rika had been finally revealed. Yoosung's wounds were still raw, and he wasn't emotionally prepared to talk about it presently. "I guess...the transition from high school to college was just difficult."

  
"I see...Well, you should go to class tomorrow."

  
"..."

  
"Just go! Just take care of your shit! You can do it!"

  
Yoosung sighed loudly. "Yeah, I know..."

  
\---

  
They continued their game, never really having stopped. Chae-Young, it turned out, was an excellent offensive player, perfectly complimenting Yoosung's defensive style. They made a great team, achieving greater success together than they ever did separately. Playing in tandem, they decided, would become a regular event.

  
Eventually, 2:00 a.m. did roll around, and Chae-Young notified Yoosung that she would be signing off for the night.

  
"Aww, you were serious about that?"

  
"Of course. If you fail out of school, it's not going to be because of me."

  
"Well...okay then. Let me know when you want to play again. Oh! And I'll see you at the photography show on Friday."

  
"Oh, that's right. See you then, Yoosung."

  
"Good night, Chae."

  
_Chae?_

  
Yoosung considered playing solo once Chae-Young had left, but her words echoed in the back of his mind. He stared at the screen for a few moments, a pouting expression on his face. Finally, he gave a great growling sigh. "Fine..." he muttered, shutting down the computer and standing up from his chair to go get ready for bed.

  
As he drifted off to sleep, he could almost see Chae-Young's smiling face, pleased with his improved habits.

  
\---

  
The following evening, Yoosung joined Chae-Young online, greeting her over the headset.

  
"I went to class today, like you said."

  
Chae-Young gave an excited little shout. "Good job dude! That's great!" she gushed.

  
As much as Yoosung didn't mind Chae-Young's criticism, he actively enjoyed her praise even more. He felt a little bit tickly inside, but it wasn't a bad feeling at all. Maybe...he should start going to class more regularly. _Oh._


	21. If She Promised You Heaven

This was not Kat Stolz's first rodeo. She no longer felt the rush of adrenaline or a racing heartbeat in anticipation of a solo exhibition, as such events had long ago become simply another facet of her career path. An MFA from Yale did that to you. Nonetheless, she still felt excitement at the thought of art-lovers looking over her photographs, murmuring interpretations and words of approval. Her latest series, "Liminal Spaces," was set to debut on this night at the Paik gallery, and Kat now set about readying herself for the evening.

  
Kat unwound the elastic band wrapped around the end of the thick braid of hair she wore draped over her shoulder. The thick texture of her tresses held the braid together even once untied, thus she began carefully untangling the strands with her fingers. Little by little, the wild, chestnut brown waves spread out over her back, and Kat separated her hair into two sections, pulling them forward to lay over the front of her shoulders. She took the jar of coconut oil that she had mixed with patchouli, warming a small amount of the mixture between her palms. Carefully, she spread the oil through her hair, taming loose strands and giving her lion's mane a glossy sheen. She hummed softly, meditatively, and her pit bull, Daisy, who had curled up on the rug next to her, wiggled the tip of her tail in response to the sound of Kat's voice.

  
She traipsed back into her bedroom to fetch the dress she'd ordered especially for tonight. She ran her hand over the silky fabric, admiring the red and turquoise paisley print, and hung the dress on a hook in the bathroom, carefully slipping out of her jeans, t-shirt, and sports bra, replacing the latter with a strapless undergarment. Kat selected a golden-capped glass bottle from the bathroom counter, scenting herself with the patchouli and tangerine-laden "Dharma" perfume. Teddy the golden retriever padded into the bathroom, wagging his feathery tail and whining for attention. He wove himself around Kat's legs, and she rubbed his silky head gently. "Go lay down with Daisy."

  
Kat removed the dress from its hanger and slipped it over her head, arranging the elastic neckline around her upper-arms, revealing her tan, freckled shoulders. She turned this way and that, admiring her reflection in the mirror, the hem of the midi-length dress brushing against her freshly-shaven legs. She ran a Bart's Bees tinted balm over her lips, softening them and adding just a kiss of color before stepping into her favorite pair of brown leather platform mules, fastening the straps around her ankles. Kat slipped a turquoise bracelet onto her wrist, the polished stones gleaming, and looked in the mirror one more time. _Yes ma'am._

  
\---

  
Yuki had told V that she and Zen would pick him up at 5:30 sharp, and it was now 5:35. V shrugged, figuring that Zen had probably taken a bit longer to get ready than anyone had anticipated. The exhibition was come and go anyway, so it didn't much matter whether they were there right when the doors opened at 6:00. Still, V felt a bit anxious. He'd been anticipating this gallery show ever since it had been announced on Kat Stolz's website, and the evening had finally arrived. He wondered if he would actually get to meet the woman after all these years, having followed her work ever since it had attracted attention during her time at North Texas, where Kat had earned her BFA. She'd gone to Yale since then for her MFA, and her star had risen even further, gaining acclaim as a highly-praised conceptual photographer.

  
V's colleagues had learned better than to mention Stolz's work around him, lest he start waxing poetic about exposure and intentional light leakage. Rui had once jokingly asked if V was in love with Rika or Kat Stolz. V had shut up pretty quickly after that, not wanting to communicate the wrong idea about his interest in Kat's work. V really was just passionate about art. Rika had known this from Day 1, and often enjoyed listening to his long-winded monologues about photographers whose work he admired. Except when it came to Kat Stolz. Rika had always been just a little bit jealous of Stolz, and had been more than a little up-front about it. She always gave a disapproving little tch when she'd find that V had purchased a print of Kat's photography, and would make little passive-aggressive comments here and there, like, "If you love her work so much, why don't you go marry her instead," and then V would have to apologize (It was always V's fault, for some reason.) and convince Rika that she was the one he loved. In retrospect, it was bullshit, but at the time, he'd tolerated Rika's behavior, convincing himself that it really wasn't a big deal, and that he shouldn't make mountains out of molehills.

  
He'd taken a long time to get ready, but then again, it usually took him a long time nowadays. V's eyesight had continued to deteriorate, and he'd really have to work to focus on his physical form. He'd come to rely on touch in order to distinguish one piece of clothing from another, and his ideas of what looked good together were almost entirely theoretical at this point. He'd ended up texting some photos to Zen, asking which combination of items looked best. At Zen's suggestion, he'd settled on a pair of slim black pants, a plain white v-neck t-shirt, a black cardigan sweater, and his favorite black leather boots. He hoped it looked as good in real life as he imagined it did. First impressions were important, after all! V laughed to himself as he realized that he was more nervous now than he had been prior to his and Rika's first date.

  
Finally, V's cell phone rang, Yuki announcing to him that they were parked outside.

  
\---

  
"Yoosung, I didn't realize you were interested in art," V commented as Yuki jockeyed for a parking space in the nearest lot to the gallery.

  
Yuki laughed softly. "He's not interested in art. He's interested in a girl that's interested in art."

  
"I am not!" Yoosung sputtered indignantly.

  
"Is that girl going to be here tonight?"

  
"She's probably eyeing the open bar as we speak."

  
Finally, Yuki caught a glimpse of a sedan pulling out of a nearby space, and swerved the hatchback into it, jolting her passengers violently. "Sorry."

  
Inside, V could immediately tell that the opening was a brilliant success, based upon the sheer number of voices he could detect. He could tell that the lighting was ambient, soft, probably casting dramatic shadows on the faces of those present. Kat Stolz's work had only grown more haunting over time, and this atmosphere suited the theme well, the soft, instrumental new-age music just discernible underneath the voices of the show's attendees.

  
At V's request, Yuki described the layout of the gallery: a wide, open space, with three broad white walls covered in photographs. Several massive giclee prints hung on the far wall, while the two side walls were plastered in multiple types of photographs- digital images taken with a DSLR, high-exposure images from a throw-away camera, even Polaroids. Some photos were arranged neatly in lines, while others were clustered, overlapping, a vast compendium of visual data.

  
The young woman that Yuki had described before finally joined them, introducing herself as Chae-Young Kwon. She dragged Yoosung away, leaving Yuki, Zen, and V to move about the exhibition at their own leisurely pace. V removed his mirrored sunglasses, squinting so as to view the images as best he could with his foggy, blue eyes.

  
"What exactly does she mean by 'Liminal Spaces?'" Zen asked finally.

  
V answered him the best he could, explaining, "Based on what the artist writes about her own work, the 'Liminal Space' is best described as a space where we are only supposed to exist temporarily. It is defined not by itself but by our location directly before and after. A liminal space exists only as a threshold between other spaces, like parking lots and airports. I know she also likes to photograph spaces that have an eerie feeling to them, like playgrounds at nighttime. She's interested in invoking the sublime, as defined by Edmund Burke."

  
"Oh, god. Not that sublime business again. It went over my head the first time it was explained to me and it'll go over my head again."

  
They stood in front of a cluster of Polaroids, V turning his head and craning his neck to get the most optimal view possible. "Something that's always interested me about Stolz's work is her use of 'low' photography methods; her willingness to use disposable cameras and instant film in pursuit of aesthetic. Those types of film and equipment have a very specific 'look' to them that fits very nicely with her themes." He smiled, looking at an image of a German shepherd, washed-out by the camera flash, its eyes two green dots, bright against the greenish-black background, smudgy orbs peppering the picture plane.

  
\---

  
Yuki suddenly turned and waved an arm wildly. "Kat! Over here!"

  
"I'm comin'," an airy drawl responded from a few meters away.

  
A figure approached, a noticeable bounce in its gait, and embraced Yuki. "Thanks for comin' out, darlin'." This was Kat Stolz, in the flesh. V caught glimpses of her, his brain piecing together a mental picture of the woman. The first thing he noticed was the hair. Wild and wavy, it tumbled down over Kat's shoulders, a glossy, soft brown. Her skin was tanned from extensive time spent in the sun, and it held a rich, almost golden tone.

  
"Kat, I want to introduce you to someone. This is our friend, V. He's been following your work for quite a long time."

  
V extended his right hand. "I'm very happy to finally meet you in person."

  
Kat clasped his hand between her own, leaning forward a little, and the scent of patchouli tickled V's nose. "It's a pleasure." Kat's hands were warm and soft, her grip firm. "Thank you for being here tonight." Her voice carried an airy quality, its pitch low in contrast. The best word to describe it would be "smoky," earthy and warm, her drawl long and dreamlike.

  
"I've been following your career since you were at North Texas."

  
"That's quite a long time!"

  
"I work in photography as well, though, I haven't been able to make anything new for a while now. I regret that I can't see your new work so well." V gestured to his eyes.

  
"Well, I'm just tickled that you're here."

  
"He MIGHT have been able to see them," Yuki quipped, raising an eyebrow."

  
"What do you mean?"

  
"V is going blind by his own choice."

  
Kat's voice sharpened. "How so?"

  
"Well, his best friend since childhood offered to cover the medical expenses, as the injuries are completely treatable, but he keeps refusing to accept the help. His ex-fiancee did that to him, and he thinks that this is his fate, and that he must accept it."

  
\---

  
Kat furrowed her brow, giving V the mother of all stink-eyes. "I know it's not really my place to say anything, so forgive me, but that's just 'bout the stupidest fuckin' thing I've heard in my life. She shook her head.

  
"Excuse me?" V was visibly shocked by Kat's bold response.

  
"It's fuckin' stupid is what it is. You have the option to be an artist, the opportunity to return to your craft, and you're throwing it all away! To create, is one of the most noble pursuits in life, and you would willingly walk away from that? You don't deserve to call yourself an artist!"

  
V opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. A strangled noise escaped his throat, but that was all.

  
A fire had been lit inside Kat. Furious, voice dripping with vitriol, she continued her diatribe. "You have a responsibility to create, if you are able. To walk away now is to neglect that responsibility. This woman who did this to you, she's a destructive force, yes? Well, here's the thing: the universe demands balance. As she destroys, you must create. That is your endless and perfect work. To be an artist is to be burdened with glorious purpose." Kat's eyes glittered. "You're letting her continue to control you. Are you gonna let her ruin your life? Are you gonna live out the rest of your days as a pussy-ass little bitch?! Or are you gonna take back control of your own life?"

  
She stared at V intently, her heart racing, fueled by a burst of adrenaline. V's seeming indifference to his situation disgusted her, as Kat was a very passionate person. She knew she could be harsh, and that her words had been sharp, but she couldn't abide by this . She couldn't bear to watch as this man relinquished his ability to continue making art, all for some woman who gave him only pain in return. "Excuse me."

  
Kat turned quickly on the ball of her foot and strode away, cutting a path toward the open bar.

  
V turned to Yuki. "That wasn't at all how I expected that to go."

  
\---

  
All in all, V had mixed feelings about his interaction with Kat. On one hand, she could clearly be a very warm and gracious person. On the other, she was opinionated and fierce, confrontational. She didn't mince words, even when those words could be hurtful. At the same time, maybe she did have a point. She hadn't exactly been gentle about getting the point across, but at the end of the day, WHAT she was saying was more important than HOW she said it.

  
Not wanting the evening to be completely overshadowed, V tried not to think too much about Kat's words as they continued through the space, finally arriving in front of the massive giclee prints. These were a bit easier to see, and they were stunning. In the past, Kat had generally avoided portraiture, but here, she seemed to be dipping her toes into the water, displaying three large black-and-white self-portraits. In the first, Kat stood in profile, a sprawling mountain range behind her, raking a hand through her hair, pushing it back from her face. The natural lighting illuminated her brightly, the pupils of her eyes mere pinpoints. In the second photo, she lay in the grass, face screwed up in laughter as four dogs tumbled over her, long tongues lapping at her cheeks. Her expression emitted pure joy; love and light emanating from her as she clutched onto a fluffy retriever. The final image was the most intimate, and perhaps the loveliest of all; she sat on a bed, the sheets tangled around her, naked, but strategically covered. Her thick mane of hair cascaded about naturally, hiding the left side of her face. The early morning sun backlit her, creating a faint halo as she eclipsed it.

  
Kat couldn't help laughing as she looked over to the refreshment table, seeing Chae-Young with a glass of champagne in one hand and in the other, a small plate piled high with food. 

  
"Chae-Young, please never change." She laughed again, shaking her head.

  
Yuki joined her, bringing Kat her own glass.

  
"Thank you, Kat."

  
"For what?" She cocked her head to the side.

  
"For what you said to V. You said everything the rest of us have been afraid to say."

  
"From what you've told me, it sounds like he's really been through it."

  
"He has."

  
"He's probably internalized a lot of negativity over time. I imagine he's pretty set in his ways, and it's almost impossible to get him to deviate from them. As a result, gentle suggestion won't get you anywhere. He needed a wake-up call. I probably seemed really mean in that moment, but in this kind of situation, you have to be tough. A reality check isn't supposed to be pleasant."

  
"I know. I stand by what you did."

  
They watched as V wandered outside for a smoke.

  
"I'm going to go talk to him again. I don't want to leave things just like that."

  
\---

  
V packed the loose tobacco into his pipe, popping it into his mouth and holding it between his teeth. He slipped his old, silver lighter out of his pocket, flicking it several times, trying to get a flame, to no avail. He made a small, annoyed sound as the lighter sparked, failing to ignite fully.

  
"Need a light?" a smoky voice drawled softly behind him. Kat took a seat beside him, pulling a book of matches out of her handbag. She struck one and pressed it into the end of V's pipe. A thin trail of smoke curled upward into the night.

  
"You smoke?"

  
"On occasion, but I doubt it's the same plant that you're burning right now." V could hear a wry grin on Kat's voice. She returned the matches to her bag and pulled out a stainless steel flask. She took a long drink, hissing as the liquor burned her throat, then offered it to V. "Bourbon?"

  
V took the flask from her, raising it slightly in thanks before taking a quick swig. He coughed a little, unused to the harshness of the whiskey.

  
"Listen, V... I know that I may have sounded harsh before, but I stand by what I said."

  
"I understand where you're coming from, but...you don't understand my pain."

  
Kat shook her head. " _Life_ is pain! ...But you can't let it consume you. The woman who did this to you, do you think she gives a rat's ass about you? She doesn't give a fuck about you."

  
V met her gaze, puffing away silently on his pipe.

  
"It's not worth it, to keep wasting energy on her. She damaged your eyes. Why?"

  
Maybe this was a deeply personal question, but it didn't bother V. Kat was merely an inquisitive person, meaning no offense by her question. More than anything, she wanted to understand. "She wanted me to prove my love for her."

  
"And how did she prove her love for you?" V was silent. "That's what I thought." Kat raised her eyebrows. "You're at a crossroads right now. If you give in to the hand you've been dealt, you allow her to decide your destiny. She owns you forever. You have to fight for yourself! You have to take back control! Rise from the ashes! Look: the world is an ugly place. Everyone gets fucked over by someone. You're not special."

  
"Yuki said something similar before."

  
"She's right, you know." Kat stood up. "Let's go back inside now."

  
\---

  
Inside, they joined Yuki and Zen once more, and Kat floated an idea to the group.

  
"So, who wants to go drinking after this?"

  
A smile rode up Yuki's face. "I think...that sounds like fun. Hyun, what do you think?"

  
"If you want to go, Yuki, then we'll go. It'll be a good time."

  
"I'm sure Chae-Young will want to go," Kat smirked.

  
Yuki smirked back. "And if Chae-Young goes, I'm sure Yoosung will be coming as well." She exchanged a glance with Zen.

  
"What about you, V?"

  
"Hmm..." V turned the idea over in his head.

  
Kat elbowed him lightly. "I'll go shot-for-shot with ya."

  
"Ah, what the hell?"

  
A couple of hours later, they found themselves at a karaoke bar, receiving their drinks.

  
Yuki tapped her vodka-soda against Kat's bourbon-on-the-rocks. " _Kanpai!_ "

  
" _Prost!_ "

  
Beer in hand, Zen rushed over to the microphone. It was his time to shine. He did several songs in a row, serenading Yuki through all of them. It was cheesy, but also awkwardly adorable. There was clearly so much love between them, and Kat respected it immensely, despite her own disinterest in romance.

  
After several bourbons, Kat was sufficiently intoxicated to go up to the front herself. She selected a song, clearing her throat as the instrumental opening played.

  
Her voice was full and rich, comforting to listen to. V closed his eyes, allowing Kat's velvety sound cover him like a blanket. "... _would you stay if she promised you heaven_..."

  
\---

  
After a couple of hours of constant drinking, Chae-Young and Yoosung were quite drunk, and Yuki had a proposition to make. She knew that Chae-Young would agree, but she hadn't been so sure about Yoosung. But now he was wasted; poor kid turned out to be quite a lightweight.

  
"Chae-Young, remember before when you offered to pose for my new series?"

  
"Yeah, why?"

  
"Would you be willing to do that next Friday?"

  
"I think that would be fine...Who do you have in mind to pose with me?"

  
"Mmm...maybe...Yoosung? I mean, if he's okay with that of course..."

  
Zen exchanged a look with his girlfriend; he knew exactly what Yuki had up her sleeve. Kat quickly figured things out as well, and couldn't help but laugh.

  
"Wait, what exactly are you asking me to do?"

  
"Oh, I just need to take some photos of you and Chae-Young. To reference for a painting."

  
"I'm sure he'll be fine, Yuki." Chae-Young clapped him on the back.

  
"Oh. Yeah. That's fine." Yoosung nodded his head quickly.

  
\---

  
Chae-Young had brought her instant camera, and had been taking pictures all evening. The volume of images she'd captured had only increased as she'd become intoxicated; mostly selfies and portraits of Yoosung making various stupid faces. She leaned close to Kat and they pulled a couple of goofy expressions, Kat puffing her cheeks out and widening her eyes, looking rather like a blow-fish. They looked at the image as it developed, bursting out laughing. Kat's laugh climbed higher in pitch than her speaking voice; it was almost musical.

  
"Chae-Young, do you think I could borrow your camera?"

  
"Be my guest." She passed it to V.

  
Slowly, carefully, V focused the camera on Kat, snapping a candid photograph as she raked a hand through her wild mane of hair, a crooked, toothy grin painted across her face. The flash surprised her, and she jumped a little.

  
"What is this for?" she asked as V handed her the still-undeveloped photo.

  
"Please hold on to this for me. I have a feeling that in the future, I'm going to want a photo from the night I first met you."

\---

A/N: Poor V just can't catch a break lmao


	22. Overheated

This morning's stream of emails seemed endless. Marketing, R&D, Publications, Purchasing; they all demanded a little bit of Jumin's time on this particular day. Though, that was the job, and he'd long ago adjusted to the heavy work load. The responses went out one by one, Jumin's CPU whirring loudly. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to untangle the knot that had formed there overnight. He must have slept weird. After the emails, it was approval paperwork for new research projects, then a phone conference with the Hong Kong branch, then a brief report on the third-quarter profits.

  
Jumin opened document after document, email after email, internet tab after internet tab. The whirring sound grew louder. It had been doing this for several weeks now, and, though it was annoying, he paid it no mind. Jumin had more important things to do than mess around with some silly little computer problem, and he sure didn't want to call I.T. to talk a look, lest _that woman_ come prancing into his office with that haughty attitude, implying his stupidity once again. The whirring increased again, louder than ever before, and then the screen went black. Jumin groaned, rubbing his eyes. He stood, walking toward the open door.

  
"Assistant Kang, please call I.T."

  
\---

  
The I.T. department hadn't seen such a hectic day in quite some time. Every single one of Sun-Mi's techs ran back and forth, going straight from one maintenance request to another. Sun-Mi herself sat glued to her computer, calling her employees whenever a new order came in, telling them to just add it to the list, go when you get a chance. Only Mina remained to keep her company, and she was tied up with a finicky server whose faulty wiring had given its users quite a bit of trouble. Sun-Mi sighed as yet another request arrived, picking up the phone and placing a call to one of her frazzled technicians.

  
Almost as soon as she put down the receiver, the telephone rang again.

  
"I.T."

  
"Yes, this is Chief Assistant Kang. Executive Director Han's computer has shut down unexpectedly. Please send someone as quickly as possible. Mr. Han has an internet teleconference in two hours."

  
Sun-Mi choked a little. She knew she couldn't just pawn this one off on her techs. Low-level employees could stand to wait a few hours for their machines to be fixed, but the Executive Director was a different story. If Mr. Han missed his teleconference, Sun-Mi would be responsible for blowing him off. She couldn't very well put this problem on the back burner just because he was a massive ass. "I'll be right up."

  
Sun-Mi picked up the tool bag next to her desk, hoisting it over her shoulder. She ducked her head into the server room. "I'm going upstairs for a few. The Executive Director's computer is shutting down or something. He needs access back ASAP so I can't send anyone else."

  
Mina stopped fiddling with the wires for a moment, and looked at her friend. "I could put this on hold and go instead. I know you probably don't want to go up there, after how he treated you at that meeting."

  
"No, I'll go. I'm a professional. I can handle this. I'm not afraid of him."

  
"Well, if you're sure...Just let me know. I can take over for you any time."

  
Stepping into the elevator, Sun-Mi sighed as she mashed the button for the executive floor. She stared at her image in the reflective doors: her short, printed dress, leggings, leather boots, anxious expression. She couldn't deny that she felt a little nervous, and she hated it. She very much preferred to have control of the situations in which she was involved, and now, she didn't. Her dominant personality clashed with Mr. Han's, and in their last interaction, he'd upset the balance of power, firmly establishing an advantage for himself when he'd managed to break Sun-Mi's composure.

  
She needed to reclaim dominance. Focusing on her reflection, she softened her expression, crafting an air of calm detachment. Her composure reestablished, Sun-Mi strode confidently out of the elevator toward Assistant Kang's desk.

  
\---

  
"Oh, Miss Dang. Let me take you in." Assistant Kang stood up and guided her toward Mr. Han's office, gesturing toward the open door. "Mr. Han, Miss Dang is here to look at your computer."

  
The Director looked up from the papers spread out across his desk, giving an exasperated sigh. "You couldn't have sent up someone else?"

  
_Nice to see you too._ "All of my techs are out on maintenance requests. If I didn't come myself, your computer wouldn't be fixed in time for your teleconference." She crossed her arms. "I know you're not fond of me, but I thought it would be best to get this issue resolved as soon as possible." As much as Sun-Mi didn't want to deal with this kind of lousy attitude, she wanted to get back downstairs as quickly as possible. Perhaps maintaining a polite demeanor would help her achieve that. However, she wasn't afraid to raise her hackles should Mr. Han's foul mood begin to escalate.

  
"What exactly happened with the computer? Describe to me what happened."

  
"Well, there was a loud whirring noise coming from the machine part, and then it just shut down on me."

  
"The whirring sound was probably coming from the fan that keeps the CPU from overheating. Has it made a loud sound before?"

  
"Yes, actually. It's been doing that for a couple of weeks now."

  
_And you're just now saying something?_ Sun-Mi elected not to say anything, not wanting to start another nasty argument. She decided it would be best to simply repair the computer, and go about her day. "Let me take a look."

  
She pulled a screwdriver out of the bag that she then set gently on the floor, and carefully turned the CPU unit onto its side. She swiftly removed the side panel from the unit, examining the fan inside.  
"Can you tell what the problem is?"

  
"Not immediately. I'm going to turn the computer back on to try and replicate the issue." Sun-Mi pressed the power button, and the unit came to life. "Try opening several programs at once to see if we can't get the system to overheat. I think that could possibly be what happened before."

  
Jumin did as he was told, feeling a little baffled by Miss Dang's change in personality. She'd been so rude and flippant before, but now, she was polite, and helpful, almost pleasant. He wouldn't be forgetting Miss Dang's potential for ugliness anytime soon, but at least he now knew that she at least had the ability to act nicely. Maybe...he had been too hard on her before.

  
No, no way. If Jumin hadn't set her straight before, she'd probably be mouthing off right now, asking why he hadn't reported the problem sooner, why he felt the need to waste her time, why he wasn't a computer engineer capable of making his own repairs. He'd made the right call.

  
\---

  
Sure enough, the loud whirring began again. Sun-Mi opened multiple websites at once, stretching the computers RAM to the limit. She carefully watched the fan. It would spin quickly, then sputter to a stop, then start turning again for a short period before freezing up once more. Eventually, the computer overheated, shutting down completely. _Well there's your problem right there._

  
"Unfortunately, it looks like I'm going to need to replace the fan."

  
Aggravated, Jumin threw up his hands. "Wonderful!" he exclaimed sarcastically.

  
Sun-Mi could feel the beginnings of a migraine in her left temple. Still, she maintained her composure. "I have the replacement fan in storage downstairs. I can change it out in less than an hour."

  
Jumin rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, making an exasperated noise. "Fine. Be quick about it."

  
Folding her arms over her chest, Sun-Mi huffed. "Listen, I have tried to be polite and helpful today, but my patience is wearing thin. I don't need the attitude, okay? I know you don't like me, and I couldn't care less about that, but you can't just keep being rude to me." She narrowed her eyes and frowned, her bottom lip pouting out just a little.

  
Jumin pinched the bridge of his nose, forehead creasing as he squeezed his eyes shut. He knew Miss Dang was right. He wasn't being professional, letting his personal feelings affect his work relationships. He bit his lip, choking on the words he knew he needed to say. "You're right. I'm sorry."

  
Sun-Mi raised her eyebrows, deep blue eyes widening. After saying her piece, she'd expected Mr. Han to sigh, waving her out to go get the new fan. She definitely hadn't expected an apology, and she wasn't quite sure how to react. "I-I'll go get that fan now."

  
\---

  
Now that the Executive Director had apologized for his behavior, Sun-Mi felt a little bit more motivated to repair his computer promptly. She hurried back down to the I.T. office. She must have still looked a bit baffled when she arrived, as Mina, who had finished with the server, cocked her head, raising an eyebrow, giving Sun-Mi a funny look.

  
"Is everything okay up there?"

  
"Yeah...yeah, everything's fine," Sun-Mi responded, sounding a little spaced-out as she opened the storage closet, searching for the correct part.

  
"Your voice sounds different. Did he say something to you?" Mina lowered her chin, casting her green gaze at Sun-Mi. "Do you want me to kick his ass?"

  
"No, no...He...apologized to me..."

  
Mina almost spit. "What?! Seriously?!"

  
Sun-Mi made a victorious noise, finally locating the part. "Yeah. I almost couldn't believe it myself."

  
"Huh. Well color me surprised. You might want to buy a lottery ticket before your good fortune runs out."

  
"Since when are you superstitious?"

  
"Since I've witnessed a miracle."

  
\---

  
Still feeling a little baffled, Sun-Mi returned upstairs, new part in hand. She went back into Mr. Han's office, where the director had busied himself with paperwork on the opposite side of the room from the computer. He looked up briefly when Sun-Mi entered, then silently refocused his attention on his work.

  
Sun-Mi went back to the computer, beginning the process of removing the defective fan. As she worked, a question nagged at her. Clearly, Mr. Han had the ability to be polite, demonstrated by his previous apology. Then, why had he treated her so cruelly before? Sure, it was more than obvious that he didn't like her, but if he knew that his behavior toward her was inappropriate, why had he taken things so far at the Department Heads' meeting?

  
"Mr. Han?"

  
"Yes?" He didn't look up from his work.

  
"May I ask you a question?"

  
Jumin balked. Miss Dang had made her disdain for him crystal clear before. What reason did she have for making small talk now? "That depends on what the question is."

 

Sun-Mi was silent for a moment, her good sense questioning whether she should go down this road. "Why did you treat me like that at the Department Heads' meeting?"

  
Not having expected to ever have this conversation, Jumin froze. He mulled over Miss Dang's question, coming to the conclusion that in the end, he didn't really have a good answer. Well, that wasn't true. He had an answer, but it was merely an excuse. Ultimately, he himself didn't understand his choices on that day. "You were being insubordinate. It is my responsibility to discipline defiant employees."

  
"Insubordinate? I stood up for myself when you were disrespectful to me. Do you really consider that insubordination?" Sun-Mi finished unscrewing the old part, and disconnected it from its power source. She began installing the new fan.

  
"There is a difference between defending oneself and mouthing off."

  
"You were being controlling. You were cruel to me."

  
"Miss Dang, you must understand that I don't like being undermined by my own employees."

  
"And I don't like being treated like shit."

  
What happened next would surprise Sun-Mi even more than Mr. Han's apology. He laughed. "Fair enough." He was silent after that, still smirking a little.

  
_What?_ Sun-Mi finished connecting the new device, and turned the unit back on to test it. She opened several programs as before, observing that the new fan functioned as it was supposed to. She replaced the side panel, and turned the unit back upright.

  
"Okay, everything seems to be in order now." She gestured to the computer, then picked up her tool bag, and walked toward the door.

  
"Thank you, Miss Dang."

  
Sun-Mi was shocked, and more than a little tongue-tied. "Ah...n-no problem."

  
She'd be puzzled about this for a long time.


	23. "I Am a Bowl of Fruit."

Chae-Young had spent the past two hours preparing for this photo session, showering, shaving, perfuming herself, flossing and brushing her teeth, all in attempt to give herself a pleasant scent. She didn't spend this much time getting ready for her Tender flings. However, those meetings were never intended to last more than one night, and, as she now considered Yoosung a friend, she intended to spend time with him again in the future. They would be in very close contact today, and Chae-Young couldn't help feeling just a little bit self-conscious. It wasn't that she was ashamed of her body, or anything. Well, she did feel a bit conscious of her small bust size, but other than that, she was rather happy with her petite form.

  
She fussed about the apartment, picking up empty beer bottles and putting fresh sheets on the bed, as she assumed that Yuki would want to use the bedroom as the setting for the photos. Chae-Young shoved her hands into her pockets, biting her lip, looking around the room, tapping her foot anxiously. She ducked into the bathroom, grabbing the Zanax bottle from the medicine cabinet.

  
There was a knock at the door, and Chae-Young jumped. She hurried to the front door, letting Yuki inside.

  
"Hey, you ready for today?"

  
"Yeah, I suppose so. Where are you going to want us?"

  
"Hmm...the bedroom, I think. You smell good."

  
Yuki made her way to Chae-Young's bedroom, DSLR and tripod in tow. She began arranging the sheets and pillows on the bed, trying to create a lived-in scene. Once she was satisfied, she set about manipulating the tripod and trying different light sources. Chae-Young watched, arms crossed firmly across her chest.

  
"Are you feeling nervous?" Yuki finally asked her.

  
"What? No! This isn't the first time I've posed for art."

  
"If you say so."

  
\---

  
Yoosung entered the Daesun graduate residence building, searching for a set of stairs. _Chae's apartment is supposed to be on the second floor, right?_ The building was old, but had a welcoming friendliness. It was warm, homey. Finally locating the stairwell, he headed up, checking the text message from Yuki, which listed Chae-Young's apartment number. _207._

  
Yoosung strode down the hallway, still confused as to why Yuki had told him to bring an athletic cup. He shrugged it off, figuring that he'd be finding out soon enough. Finally, he arrived at the correct unit, knocking tentatively.

  
Chae-Young jumped a solid three inches when the next knock came. _Not nervous my ass_ , Yuki thought to herself. They answered the door together, letting Yoosung inside.

  
He took in the space; the old, velvety couch, the 20-sided-die-shaped coffee mug still on the table, the numerous canvases leaned against the wall, the easel, surrounded by paints and solvents and cups upon cups of different brushes, the quick, sketchy studies tacked up on the wall. The late afternoon sun filtered in through the window next to the easel, warming the room. The building was old, but the place had a nice feeling.

  
Being led into Chae-Young's bedroom should have been Yoosung's first clue that something was up. Yuki hadn't explained what exactly would be taking place in the photos, and Yoosung didn't think too much about it.

  
His attention was grabbed, however, when Chae-Young lifted her t-shirt up over her head, revealing the grey cotton bra underneath. Yoosung flushed a deep red, quickly looking away out of consideration. He heard a quiet _zip_ and looked back to see her removing her jeans as well. Yuki didn't seem bothered by this in the least, and Yoosung wondered what in the world he'd gotten himself into.

  
"W-what's going on?!"

  
Chae-Young froze. "Wait, you don't already know?"

  
"No?"

  
She looked at Yuki. "You didn't tell him?"

  
Yuki gave a nervous chuckle. "Ah...my new series involves images of people in...intimate scenarios. I'm going to pose you and Chae-Young as if you were..."

  
"I get it." Yoosung's head was swimming. Suddenly, Yuki's suggestion of the athletic cup made a lot more sense. If he and Chae were going to be that close to one another...well...certain bodily reactions were bound to happen. His heart raced and his face grew very hot.

  
Chae-Young seemed to sense his discomfort. "Hey, uh...we don't have to do this if you don't feel good about it. I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with." She raised her eyebrows, concern apparent in her face.

  
"No, I'll do it."

  
"Are you sure?"

  
Yoosung swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. "Yeah, I'm sure."

  
Chae-Young walked off toward the kitchen, still in her underwear, motioning for him to follow. "Let me make you a drink. It'll calm your nerves. She looked over her extensive collection of liquors, looking for something that Yoosung might like. _Not whiskey...not tequila..._ She finally came across a bottle of flavored vodka, pouring a full shot into a rocks glass, mixing it with lemon-lime soda. She offered it to Yoosung. "Here. Drink up."

  
Chae-Young poured herself a shot of whiskey and knocked it back, shaking her head as she swallowed. Yoosung tentatively took a sip of the concoction he'd been given, hissing as the high concentration of liquor burned his throat.

  
"Just chug it."

  
Yoosung did as he was told, drinking the mixture quickly, coughing violently when the glass was finally empty. Chae-Young nudged him back toward the bedroom. "Alright, let's do this." She could tell that Yoosung was still anxious. "Do you want a Zanax?"

  
"What? No. Is it even legal for you to have those?"

  
Chae-Young laughed. "Relax, I've got a scrip. Doc prescribed them because I've got a touch of the anxiety."

  
_Really?_

  
"Okay, Yuki, how naked do you want us?"

  
"Yoosung, you run off to the bathroom and change into these." She sling-shotted a pair of patterned boxer-briefs to him. "And don't forget the thing I told you about before!" She turned to Chae-Young next. "Okay...keep those on," she said, gesturing to Chae-Young's panties, printed with tiny pictures of raccoons eating colorful donuts. "Those are fantastic. And um...put on that LOLOL t-shirt from before. No bra."

  
\---

  
Yoosung stood frozen next to the closed bathroom door, biting his lip, looking at himself in the mirror. Normally, he didn't think too much about how he looked, but, just this once, he wished that he was built a little more like Zen. Whatever. Chae-Young probably didn't care either way. This was for Yuki, anyhow. Not really able to delay the inevitable, he opened the door, reentering Chae-Young's bedroom.

  
Chae-Young had kept the panties she was wearing before, but Yuki had added that LOLOL t-shirt. _Damn it, Yuki._ Chae looked back at him as he entered, no discernable reaction crossing her face, as her shot of whiskey had begun to dull her senses.

  
"Ready to get started?" Yuki asked.

  
Chae-Young nodded. "Yeah, let's do it." She stepped over to Yoosung and put a hand on his back, guiding him toward the bed. He tensed immediately, turning red again. "Still nervous?"

  
"I uh-I haven't done anything like this before."

  
"Don't think about it too much. Think of your body as a still-life. You know how artists will sometimes have a bowl of fruit, or a vase of flowers in front of them to paint?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"Think of yourself as the bowl of fruit. When an artist works from a nude model, that's how they look at it. It's completely non-sexualized. Just think: 'I am a bowl of fruit.'"

  
Yoosung closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on Chae-Young's words. His breathing steadied, and he relaxed.

  
"You good?"

  
"Yeah, actually. Thanks."

  
"No problem. Well then, let's get this show on the road."

  
\---

  
"Okay, for the first couple of poses, I like to let my models pose themselves in a way that they feel comfortable, to ease them into it. Yoosung, you pick first."

  
"Ah...okay." Awkwardly, he moved to the bed, taking a seat on the edge. "Chae...come sit next to me...okay," he took her hand, lacing their fingers together. "Now, lay your head on my shoulder." Chae-Young did as she was told, her eyes fluttering closed.

  
"Very nice. Now hold." Yuki snapped a barrage of stills. If this pose was any indicator of how the rest of the session would go, she'd be going home with some excellent references. She always preferred to work with models who knew one another, as their interactions with one another always came across as more authentic on film. This first image was filled with tenderness, with Chae-Young looking so relaxed, and Yoosung so gentle, almost protective. "Okay, Chae-Young, you pick next."

  
"Mm. Yoosung, stay right where you are, I'm just moving myself." She moved behind him, sitting up on her knees. Chae-Young leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Yoosung's shoulders, pressing her cheek against his. "Put your hand on top of mine. Close your eyes halfway and shift them to look at me."

  
Yuki hadn't expected Chae-Young's selection to be so...chaste. She normally had such a raunchy personality, such promiscuous habits. Perhaps with the right partner, she could be softer, gentler. These first two arrangements would most likely be the most G-rated of the set. Yuki had many devious ideas in mind, and she was anxious to get her models much, much closer.

  
"Alright, I'm going to start directing you now. Chae-Young, lay in bed like you normally would, on your side, facing me...good. Now, Yoosung, lay directly behind her, and put your arm around her."

  
"Spoon me, my dude."

  
Yoosung went a little bit pink, but followed their directions, pressing his body against Chae's.

  
"Now kiss the back of her neck." He hesitated a moment, then, slowly, brushed away a few errant strands of hair and pressed his lips against her skin.

  
Chae-Young was acutely aware of the contact, her flesh prickling in response to the gentle, intimate touch.

  
"Chae-Young, relax your face." The camera click-click-click-click-clicked again. "Now, roll over onto your back and spread your legs." Both heads snapped up, horrified expressions looking at Yuki. This had escalated very quickly. Still, Chae-Young did as she was told, suddenly feeling very exposed. Yuki moved over to the bed, lifting Chae-Young's shirt just a little to reveal a peek of stomach. "Now, Yoosung, get between her legs and lean over her, with your hands on either side of her head."

  
Once in position, Yoosung leaned forward, biting his lip. A fierce blush crept over his face, matching the color that had risen in Chae-Young's. She looked so, so cute like this, and the cuteness only intensified when Yuki directed her to meet Yoosung's gaze, and she shifted her big, brown eyes to look at him, eyebrows turned upward, lips slightly parted. He was suddenly very grateful for Yuki's athletic cup suggestion.

  
They lay there like that for what seemed like an eternity, holding each other's gaze, so much being silently said between them.

  
_Just trust me, okay? I won't hurt you._

  
_I trust you._

  
\---

  
"Okay, you can move away now. Lie down on your side next to her, facing her. Chae-Young, stay on your back. You can close your legs now."

  
Chae-Young's legs snapped shut, and she crossed them at the ankle comfortably.

  
"Now, lean over her, put your right hand on her cheek, and kiss her."

  
"W-what?"

  
"Pucker up, my guy."

  
Yoosung froze.

  
Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

  
"I just...I haven't ever... _kissed_ anyone before."

  
"S-seriously?" Chae-Young was genuinely surprised. "Well...we don't have to..."

  
"No-no it's okay. I was just surprised. That's all." Yoosung laughed nervously. Truth be told, Chae-Young wouldn't be a bad first kiss. He...kind of wanted to kiss her, to know what her lips felt like.

Heart jumping into his throat, he loaned forward, laying a quick, chaste kiss on Chae-Young's lips.

  
"I need you to hold the pose long enough for me to capture it. Also, a little more passion this time?"

  
"Like this." Chae-Young laid her hand on the back of Yoosung's neck, pulling him back in for a deep kiss, lips moving gently against his. His head went fuzzy. The taste of whiskey still lingered on Chae's mouth. Yoosung had never been too fond of the sharp liquor, but on her lips, it was much more palatable.

  
After a few moments, something tickled Chae-Young's funny bone, and she began giggling against Yoosung's mouth, and he couldn't help but start laughing as well. They lie there for a few moments, kissing, and laughing, and holding one another tenderly. It was...nice...for both of them. Finally, Chae-Young turned her head away, still chucking. "You get some good shots?"

  
"Very good. Ready to move on to the next pose?"

  
"Sure."

  
"Chae-Young, take the t-shirt off now." Both Chae-Young and Yoosung's eyes widened. Her cheeks going just a bit pink, she pulled the shirt over her head, tossing it onto the floor. Yoosung went red as he caught a glimpse of her chest, fighting the urge to stare with every ounce of willpower that he had.

  
Chae-Young cast her gaze to the side, too self-conscious to make eye contact with Yoosung. She could feel her face growing hotter and hotter.

  
"Are you okay?" he finally asked her.

  
"I'm fine."

  
"You don't seem fine. Tell me what's on your mind."

  
"I...just feel a little self-conscious, I guess..."

  
"Why?"

  
"Well..." she gestured to her breasts. "They're kind of small."

  
_What's an innocent way to say "I think you look amazing, and if we were alone, I'd be struggling to keep my hands to myself"?_ "So what? There's nothing wrong with that. You look fine."

  
"You promise?"

  
"I promise."

  
Chae-Young managed a small smile. "Well, if you say so. How should we pose now?"

  
"Yoosung, stay sitting up like you are now. Chae-Young, you get on top of him." Past embarrassment at this point, they assumed the pose easily, calm until they were actually in position.

  
Yoosung's face was now at the same height as Chae-Young's chest, and he was struck with the desire to lean forward and take one of the pink tips into his mouth. _Oh, god. I'm a pervert, aren't I?_

  
"Yoosung, put your hands on her hips and lay your head against her left breast."

  
_Yuki, you're really testing my limits, aren't you?_ He leaned against Chae-Young, desperately trying to block out all of the improper thoughts swarming in his mind.

  
"Chae-Young, rest your chin on top of his head." As she arranged herself, Yuki once again saw the color rising in Chae-Young's face. She clicked the camera a few more times. "Now, give me another kiss."

  
Chae-Young took Yoosung's face in her hands, leaning down to devour his mouth again. Yoosung wrapped his arms arounds her, holding her tightly, never in his life more grateful for athletic cups. If Chae-Young knew how much he was genuinely enjoying this, he'd never live it down. It was already taking every ounce of self-control he had to keep from moaning loudly into the kiss.

  
"Well, I think I've got enough now. We're all done here."

  
Chae-Young flopped back on the bed, holding up a peace sign over one eye. "Cool. Who's up for bar-hopping? All of the college bars are literally two streets over."

  
"Yeah, okay."

  
"Sounds like fun. Maybe I'll see some of my students getting drunk and acting a fool." Yuki laughed.

  
They began the process of re-dressing as Yuki packed up her equipment. As Chae-Young was lacing up her high-tops, her phone rang.

  
"Won-Jae, hey...Mmm...Yeah, I'm still good for tomorrow night...Yeah, I can bring some beers...6:00?...Sounds good. See you then."

  
_A date?_ "What was that about?"

  
"Oh, that was my DM, calling to make sure I'd be making it to the session tomorrow."

  
"Session?"

  
"Yeah, for our B&B campaign. Oh! You like fantasy games, right? You should come play with us sometime. It's a little different from LOLOL, but it's a lot of fun. It gets really ridiculous sometimes. Maybe Won-Jae could put together a one-shot just to see if you like it..."

  
"Yeah...I think I'd like to try that."

  
"Maybe next week or the week after..." Chae-Young mused to herself. "Oh, here." She passed her phone to Yoosung. "Put your number in. I don't think I have it." He punched his number in and passed it back to Chae. A few minutes later, his own cell vibrated, receiving a text with her number.

  
"Now, how about bar-hopping," Chae-Young grinned.


	24. Practice What You Preach

The sun had begun to set behind the trees, the coolness of the night beginning to creep into the park. Yet, V remained seated on the bench, where he had been for the past couple of hours, his thick, grey cardigan protecting him from the evening chill. For years he had been coming to this park, as it was in such close proximity to his apartment building. V could no longer admire the rich colors of the flowers, or the glittering diffused light beneath the trees, or watch the squirrels racing from limb to limb, assaulting passersby with acorn bombs, but he could still bask in the warm glow of the sun, inhaling the rich, grassy scent of the location, listening to the twittering of the sparrows and the shuffling of the wind through the trees.

  
More than a week had passed since Kat's show, and V still couldn't get her words out of his head. He weighed her arguments carefully, trying to evaluate how valid they really were. Several times, he had come to the conclusion that she was right, but he refused to believe it, desperately searching for the hole in her logic. He hadn't found one yet.

  
What it all boiled down to, was, V was afraid. Afraid that Kat was right, afraid that it was time to come to terms with what had happened to him, afraid of starting the arduous process of recovery. The task seemed Sisyphean, and excruciatingly painful. V had had enough pain for one lifetime. But then again, wasn't he in pain now? Yes, but it was a quiet, dull ache, and easy enough to ignore.

Eventually, he would have to decide which was worse: a great, painful catharsis that promised happiness in the end, or a minor pain that would last for the rest of his life. Thinking about it too much made V feel sick.

  
Attending that opening had also created another problem, another nagging thought. Being at an exhibition for the first time in so long had reminded him of how things had been before, when he was still able to make work. He'd ignored this truth for so long, but V missed making art. He missed the feeling of the camera in his hands, searching for the perfect shot, messing with the photos in editing programs, showing them off. _You must create. That is your endless and perfect work._ His hands itched for something to do. He had needs; needs that hadn't been met in a long time.

  
V could tell that the sky had begun to darken; he should probably be heading home. He gripped the plastic cane, prepared to stand up. He heard a familiar, drawling voice behind him.

  
"V?"

  
\---

  
"Kat? Is that you?"

  
"Mmhmm." V could hear her footsteps as she approached, accompanied by the bright jingle of dog tags.

  
"You're out late."

  
"So are you. I just got here. I wanted to take some photos. You can get some really weird light effects at night if you use a bright flash, or a heavy exposure. I've got my lomography camera equipped with a pretty hardcore flash bulb. Brought my instant too. And of course the DSLR..."

  
"What kind of DSLR do you use? Or do you have more than one?"

  
"Just one, since I don't do digital exclusively. I know Ganon is the popular camera to have, but I personally prefer the Mikon."

  
"Mikon makes good cameras. I've got one at home... Though it's been neglected for a long time..."

  
They were both silent for a few moments, the implication heavy between them. The loud jangle of metal tags broke the silence.

  
"Do you have a dog with you?"

  
"I have _two_ dogs with me."

  
"What kind? Tell me about them."

  
"Well, Daisy is a pit bull, and she's white with light brown patches, and blue eyes. I know pits have a reputation as vicious attack dogs, but let me tell you, that's a load of crap. They're big babies. They only get mean if you mistreat them, same as any other dog." As if on cue, Daisy stood up and wandered over to V, tail swinging from side to side. V could hear her snuffling gently, short bursts of warm air hitting his hand. "She's curious about you."

  
"Is it okay if I pet her?"

  
"Oh, that's exactly what she wants. Fair warning though: I can't promise she won't put her front paws up on you."

  
"That's okay." V reached out, feeling for Daisy's face. His fingertips brushed the side of her cheek, and he slid his hand upward to pet the top of the dog's head, scratching around her ears, rolling the flaps between his fingers. Sure enough, Daisy shifted, and V could feel her front paws on his knees. He could hear her panting, and her body wiggled back and forth in time with her wagging tail.

  
"She's smiling at you. Do...you mind if I take a picture?"

  
"Hmm? No, go ahead."

  
"Would you be willing to take off the sunglasses? They'll lens-flare like a motherfucker."

  
"Oh! Yeah." V slid the frames off, slipping them into his pocket. He did his best to train his eyes on the dog in front of him.

  
Kat very nearly gasped. V's eyes, though cloudy, were as blue as his hair. They were the color of turquoise, and just as precious. She lifted her DSLR and snapped a quick photo. She looked at the image on the small screen. For a spontaneous photo, it was lovely, perhaps one of the loveliest she'd ever taken. "I-I've got it."

  
V replaced his glasses and leaned forward, met with a wet tongue to the side of his face.

  
"I don't know what I expected," he laughed.

  
"Sorry about that."

  
"No, it's fine. What about the other dog?"

  
"Goober's a German shepherd. He's not as extroverted, but he's friendly. Call him over and hold out your hand." V did as he was instructed. "Goober, shake!"

  
A warm paw was pressed into his palm, and he laughed, surprised. "So polite!"

  
"Good boy, Goober."

  
"Goober seems like kind of a goofy name for such a serious dog."

  
"He's a goofball at heart." Kat adopted a silly, high-pitched baby-talk voice. "Come here, Goober!" As she expected, the dog broke character, wiggling all over, whining as he mashed himself against his human. "Oh-ho-ho, yes! That's my lovey boy! That's my goofy Goober!...You see?"

  
V's tone was deadpan. "No, I don't."

  
Kat's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean..."

  
V smirked, lowering his glasses and giving a quick wink. "Gotcha."

  
Kat gasped. "Dick!" She laughed, shaking her head. "You pull a stunt like that again and I'm gon' slap you."

  
V grinned at her. "Mind if I join you?"

  
"Not at all."

  
\---

  
Kat began searching the park for a good place to shoot, walking slowly, making sure to keep the conversation going so that V could follow the sound of her voice.

  
"Is Goober the same German shepherd that was in one of the photos at your show?"

  
"Yes, that's him. Though, I thought you said that you weren't able to see my photos."

  
"I can still see a little out of my left eye. If I turn my head and focus, I can see some images, like if it's a simple image, like the one of Goober. He was the only subject in the photo. I can sometimes see large images too, like your self-portraits. I'm glad I got to see those."

  
Kat went a little bit pink when he said that. While she didn't mind her work being noticed, Kat didn't really like being the center of attention herself. She preferred to stay behind the camera. This was the first time she'd shown self-portraits, and it had been a little nerve-wracking to hang them, especially the one of her in bed...

  
Finally arriving at the old playground, Kat tethered her dogs to a nearby pole and began unpacking her equipment. She pulled out the lomography camera, checking that the film was loaded properly and that the flash bulb was well-attached. An errant breeze jiggled the swingset a little, and Kat snapped a couple of shots, the flash jarring in the darkness of the night.

  
"I miss that sound," V said of the camera's snapping noise, a poignant smile on his lips.

  
"Of the camera?"

  
"Yes. I miss taking photographs."

  
Kat was quiet for a moment, loading new film into her instant camera. "Is it too late for you to have the surgery?"

  
"No, it's not too late. The treatment needed will be more complicated now, since I've waited so long. I'd need a double corneal transplant, but it's not too late."

  
"Then you should have the surgery. If you get better, you can go back to doing what you love. You should do what makes you happy," Kat remarked, looking over a couple of instant photos as they developed.

  
"It just feels like...what if this is what is supposed to happen to me? Am I fighting my own destiny?"

  
Kat made a _pfft_ noise. "That just sounds like a crappy excuse to me. Besides, nothing is predetermined in life. We write our own destinies. The universe is chaos, darlin'. God is dead and we killed him."

  
"I guess you're not religious?"

  
"Not really. If anything, I'd describe myself as spiritual. I tend to mix and match ideas. Like, I believe in the concept of Karma, and I also view nature as sacred and divine. I don't know if I believe in an afterlife or in any kind of a deity. What about you? Are you religious?"

  
"I grew up going to church, but I ended up converting to my ex-fiancee's religion."

  
"What religion was that?"

  
"She believed in eliminating pain and suffering from the world."

  
"She sure didn't practice what she preached," Kat muttered.

  
"She believed that the followers of her religion would be granted entrance to paradise. She described it as 'the everlasting party.'"

  
_You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!_ "That's a cult, darlin'!"

  
V nodded. "I don't follow that religion anymore. I'm not even sure what I believe now."

  
"I wouldn't worry about it too much," Kat shrugged. "There are more important things to worry about in this life." She squinted into the screen on the back of her DSLR. "May I share my four rules for living with you? Take it however you will."

  
"I'd like to hear what you think."

  
"Rule Number One: Always bear in mind that you are not superior to, or more deserving of respect and dignity than any other person."

  
"I can get behind that."

  
"Number Two: As long as you are not harming yourself or anyone else, do what makes you happy."

  
"Okay."

  
"Three: Mind your own business. This one comes with a caveat: If you witness someone being hurt, or hurting others, it's permissible to intervene. In fact, you have a responsibility, as a member of the human race, to address injustice and cruelty where you see it."

  
"Which is why you felt comfortable criticizing my decision to let my vision deteriorate?"

  
"Yes. I believe that your decision is harmful to you, and I felt I should say something about it."

  
"Fair enough. What's the fourth rule?"

  
"Don't be an asshole."

  
V laughed. "They're not bad rules, honestly. They seem to be working for you."

  
\---

  
They were quiet for a while, Kat switching between cameras, taking pictures from different angles. The dogs lounged about lazily. V sat down in the grass near them, Daisy laying her head in his lap. He could hear Kat shuffling around, muttering notes to herself, cameras clicking. He could tell which she used by the snapping sound alone. He'd enjoyed such a successful career before...maybe...he was supposed to go back. Maybe this was just a little detour along the way; a character development arc.

  
Finally, he heard the zipping of camera bags as she loaded up her equipment. "It's getting late; I'm thinking I need to be done for tonight. Will you be okay getting home?"

  
"I'll be fine. My apartment building is just across the street from the park."

  
"Would you like me to walk back with you? N-not that I doubt that you'd be fine or anything... I just thought you might like the company?"

  
"I'd like that."

  
Walking back, thoughts of his former life weighed heavily on V's mind. How things had been before Rika, and before Rika had lost her marbles. He'd been so free to create, to explore new ideas. After Rika had come into his life, he'd lost pieces of himself, a little bit at a time. Anything that threatened Rika's place at the center of his world was torn away ruthlessly. Gradually she'd eaten away at V until he was merely a shell of his former self. Finally, she took away his ability to create, and that was where he'd had to draw the line.

  
V's inability to make work had become almost unbearable, especially now that he'd caught glimpses of that world again. Arriving at his building, Kat bid him good night and turned to leave, but V stopped her. "Kat."

  
"Yes? What is it, darlin'?"

  
"I wanna get better."


	25. I Wanna Get Better

 

V laced his fingers together under his chin, ruminating on everything that had happened over the past couple of weeks. When he'd started following Kat's work all those years ago, he never would have dreamed that this would be where he'd end up. Then again, he wouldn't have thought that things would go the way they had with Rika: the years of abuse ultimately culminating in life-altering physical trauma. Now, with Kat's encouragement (or badgering, depending on how you looked at it), V had arrived at a decision. He'd passed the crossroads that Kat had described before; making the choice to get better was the first step.

  
Though, he hadn't exactly DONE anything about this decision, yet. He hadn't made any appointments or told anyone that he planned to have surgery. He had told Kat that he wanted to get better. That was all, and that statement was cryptic at best. Theoretically, he could still change his mind, even if that would have Kat sorely cross with him. Once V started the process of recovery, there was no going back. It was all or nothing; no more half-measures. It was terrifying. Several days had passed since he had arrived at his choice, and he kept putting off doing anything about it.

  
In his head, V could hear exactly what Kat would have to say to him right now. _Just...DO IT. Just make that first step. That's the hardest part. After that, you won't have any choice but to keep going. SO DO IT._ V shook his head, and picked up his cell phone, holding down the home button until it dinged, awaiting his voice command.

  
"Sara, call Jumin Han."

  
\---

  
_Ding-ding._ "Calling Jumin Han." The phone rang once, twice, three, four times. Finally, a familiar voice answered.

  
"Jumin Han speaking."

  
"Hello, Jumin."

  
"V?"

  
"It's me."

  
"It's been a long time since I've heard from you."

  
"I know. I'm sorry I've been so distant."

  
"Hey, I get it. Now that I know everything that's happened...I understand."

  
V felt guilty for having neglected his friendships for so long; especially with Jumin. They'd been so close for so many years-over a decade, really. V knew that he was one of the few people that Jumin could truly trust. He felt shitty for abandoning his friend. "Listen...Does your offer from before still stand?"

  
"Regarding the surgery?" Jumin's voice was hopeful.

  
"Yes."

  
"Of course! Yes!... Are you thinking about having it?"

  
"Not just thinking about it. I want to do it."

  
Jumin couldn't hide his excitement. "You do?!"

  
"Yes."

  
"I'm so glad! I never gave up hope that you'd come around. What made you change your mind?"

  
"I met someone."

  
"R-really? Wow...what's she like?"

  
"How did you know it was a woman?"

  
"Oh...I thought you meant you 'met someone' as in..."

  
"What? Oh no no no no no. It's not like that. She's another photographer, and she just...she made me think about it differently. She made me realize how much I miss making art."

  
"Oh. I see. How soon do you want to have the surgery?"

  
"As soon as I can."

  
"Well, I've kept in contact with an opthamologist, named Dr. Kim. He's one of the top eye surgeons in the country, and he has a near-perfect success rate. Dr. Kim's patients have even reported shorter recovery times than average. I'll contact him and set up a consultation."

  
"I'll probably need a double transplant, right?"

  
"That's what Dr. Kim has estimated. He'll have to examine you before he can make a definite treatment recommendation."

  
"I wonder how many people will be ahead of me on the transplant list...I could potentially be waiting for a long time, right?"

  
"I've got contacts everywhere, V. I know some people on the transplant board. I'll see if I can pull some strings."

  
"You don't need to do that."

  
"You've waited for this long enough. I'm not going to have you sitting around for another year-and-a-half, not able to do your photography. I'm so glad you're finally doing this."

  
"Me too. I'm nervous, but I know it's for the best."

  
"I'm going to call Dr. Kim now. I want to get you an appointment as soon as possible."

  
"Okay....Jumin?"

  
"Yeah?"

  
"Thank you."

  
"Don't think anything of it. You're my friend. I want you to get better."

  
\---

  
Making a full recovery, V had decided, would be a three-pronged effort. Step one would be to have his vision restored. Step two: forcibly remove every trace of Rika's toxicity that still remained in his life. As long as she continued to be a part of V's existence, no matter how small, she would be able to influence it. Everything related to Rika needed to be purged, cut out like a cancerous tumor.

  
This meant that V's investigations into Mint Eye needed to cease immediately. The organization threatened to become dangerous in the future, but the more time V spent undercover among them, the more his mental health deteriorated. To continue this surveillance would be to allow Rika's poisonous authority to remain. Everything must go.

  
V made his second phone call of the day.

  
"Luciel?"

  
"Hey Chief."

  
"Listen, I need you to help me with something."

  
"What is it?"

  
"I need to dispose of some things securely. You have the resources to do that, correct?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"Are you able to come now?"

  
"I think I can manage it."

  
While he waited for Luciel to arrive, V set about locating all of the items that needed to go. When his vision had started to worsen, he had organized them neatly, storing them in their own closet, painstakingly cataloged. He moved everything into the main room- electronics, written records, gifts from Rika, hundreds upon hundreds of photographs. He set aside the ones he had taken of Rika during happier times.

  
Luciel finally arrived a couple of hours later, abandoning his normally-lighthearted air for a more serious one. "You said you needed to get rid of some things?"

  
"Yes." V gestured to the two neat stacks he had created. The first contained Rika's gifts, a set of robes from his time undercover, books of photographs that V no longer considered desirable. "These items need to be disposed of. I don't care what you do with them. Throw them away, burn them for all I care."

  
"And the others?"

  
V carefully handed Luciel a small laptop computer, and several three-ring binders of hand-written notes and photographs. "This is everything I have on Mint Eye. If the time ever comes to present evidence regarding their activities, it's all here. Please keep this secure until that day comes."

  
Luciel took the items, seeming confused. "But...don't you need these records?"

  
V shook his head. "I'm not going to be investigating them anymore. I won't spend any more time on Mint Eye."

  
"What? Why?"

  
"As long as I continue to focus time and energy on this, I let Rika's influence back into my life. I don't want that. I've spent enough time being hurt by her, thinking about her. I'm not going to give her that power anymore."

  
"What made you change your mind all of a sudden?"

  
"I met someone. Someone who challenged the way I've thought about everything up until this point."

  
Luciel's playfulness returned momentarily, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively. "Ohoho!"

  
V rolled his eyes. "It's not like that," he explained, for the second time that day. _Why does everyone keep making this out to be a salacious sort of thing?_ "This person...challenges me...to do better. To get better. She encourages me to pursue things that make me happy. She's one of only a few people to ever do that."

  
\---

  
V stood in front of the stove in the kitchen, flicking the lighter over an over, as he'd been doing for the past ten minutes. What he planned to do wasn't a big deal, really, but what it symbolized, was...monumental. A neat stack of photographs lay waiting on the counter to his right, that familiar green gaze boring a hole in his skull.

  
He'd made an appointment to meet with a therapist, to begin to unpack everything he'd internalized throughout the years, to purge Rika's very ideas from his psyche. He imagined that what he planned to do now would be viewed with approval by the therapist, maybe even encouraged.

  
Without thinking about it further, V switched on the vent hood, snatching the first picture from the stack. He flicked the lighter again, igniting the corner, and Rika's smiling face slowly burned away. He repeated the action again and again, destroying that devil woman over and over. The act was cathartic, and V almost felt convinced that there was some strange magic to it, that every photo burned weakened Rika just a little bit more. _We never did make each other happy, really. Love at first sight is a nice idea, but it's just a fairy tale._

  
The last photo turning to ash, V felt...strangely freed, as if a curse had finally been lifted. He smiled, really smiled, for the first time in a long time. He didn't even notice the tears streaming down his face until they began to drip onto his hands.

  
_I'm going to get better._

 


	26. Code Silver

The rich aroma of freshly roasted and ground coffee beans enveloped the small coffee shop, tickling Jaehee's nose. She'd managed to escape the C&R building for a few precious moments, and had taken the rare opportunity to dash across the street to this cafe, which had opened a few weeks before. After taking an abnormally long time to order, as Jaehee didn't get treats like this very often, she checked the RFA chat room, noting Yuki's latest plans for the RFA Holiday party taking place later that month.

  
"I have a cappuccino for Jaehee."

  
Jaehee tucked her phone back into the pocket of her blazer, striding up to the counter and thanking the barista for her beverage. She dashed back across the street, eager to get out of the December cold. Back in the building, Jaehee headed quickly toward the elevator, hoping to get back upstairs before Jumin noticed that she had gone.

  
No such luck.

  
"Assistant Kang, where have you been? I've been looking for you for five minutes!"

  
"I went to get coffee. What is it?"

  
"I think someone's accessing the files on my computer."

  
"Really?" Jaehee put her cup down on her desk and moved toward Jumin's office. "Show me."

  
He led her into the room, gesturing toward his computer. Sure enough, the cursor ghosted across the screen, seemingly moving all on its own, though the mouse sat dormant, unmoving. Dialog boxes opened up, containing folders and documents, some confidential. Strangely, no actual files were opened during this, as if the culprit was trying to say, "Look, even though I'm choosing to leave these unopened, I have the ability to access them any time I want, and you can't stop me." This was merely a flexing of technological muscles.

  
Still, this major breach of security was unacceptable. Jaehee picked up the receiver of Jumin's office phone, dialing the extension for the I.T. department. She felt a little bad, calling them for the third time in the past month. If there was ever a proper job for the head of the department, this was it.

  
\---

  
As soon as the phone rang, Sun-Mi knew who would be on the other end, without even looking at the called ID.

  
"I.T."

  
"Miss Dang, I'm sorry to bother you again."

  
_I knew it._ "What seems to be the problem?"

  
"It seems that someone is accessing Mr. Han's desktop from another computer, without his permission."

  
_I doubt it. Our firewall is pretty secure. It could be better, but it's usually good enough._ "I'll come take a look." She hung up the phone, sighing and shaking her head.

  
"What is it this time?" Mina asked, her voice colored with sarcasm.

  
"Oh, the director thinks that someone's accessing his desktop from the outside."

  
"S-seriously?"

  
"What? Do you think it's possible?"

  
"Well...it is _possible_. Why do you think I wanted to upgrade the firewall?"

  
"It's probably nothing. That man has a crisis roughly once a week now. I'll probably be back down in less than ten minutes."

  
"I'll keep my phone close in case it's not nothing."

  
Sun-Mi made her way to the elevator at a leisurely pace. She didn't take this claim too seriously, and was in no hurry to rush upstairs just to explain why a USB drive blinked when it was plugged in. She leaned against the wall of the elevator, closing her eyes. She hadn't slept too well the night before, and sincerely hoped that this interaction didn't end in another knock-down-drag-out. Sun-Mi didn't have the energy today.

  
\---

  
Chief Assistant Kang was waiting for Sun-Mi when she finally made it to the executive floor.

  
"Miss Dang, please come quickly."

  
Sun-Mi had to bust a little half-jog to keep up with Assistant Kang. Damn, she moves fast in heels!

  
"What took you so long?!" Mr. Han was clearly not in the best of moods.

  
"I came as quickly as I could," she responded calmly, her voice terse.

  
"Please look at what is happening."

  
Sun-Mi looked at the computer, at the phantom cursor, the windows opening and closing. Her eyes widened. "Shit." She clasped her hand over her mouth, not having intended to curse in front of management.

  
"I _told_ you someone was accessing my computer," the director boasted.

  
Sun-Mi ignored him, whipping out her cell phone, selecting Mina from the "favorites" menu. Luckily, she picked up quickly. "It's not nothing, is it?"

  
"Mina, we have a Code Silver! A massive security breach! I need you to shut it down now! Lock down the servers. Nothing goes out or in. Send an inter-departmental message explaining what's happening. And do it quickly!"

  
"I've got you."

  
"And then I need you up here as soon as possible. We've got to trace this thing."

  
Sun-Mi calmly hung up the phone, her silence ominous. She stood still for what seemed like an infinitely long time, her face gradually darkening; the calm before the storm. Finally, her voice barely above a whisper, she spoke from between clenched teeth.

  
"If only our firewall proposal had been approved."

  
No one dared speak for the few minutes that passed after that. Jaehee could have sworn that a tumbleweed blew across the floor.

  
"That proposal was rejected by the Board of Directors as a whole. Do not try to put this back on me."

  
"But I bet you didn't argue its importance, or even try to think about why it would be a good idea."

  
"A lot of factors go into decisions like this. You wouldn't know about that, would you?" Jumin's professionalism had flown out the window. Jaehee had never seen him so agitated. Upset, yes. Frustrated, yes. But now he had completely lost his cool, color rising in his face as he raised his voice to match Miss Dang's.

  
"Do you ever stop and think that maybe, _just maybe_ , we know what we're doing?!"

  
"Watch yourself, Miss Dang!"

  
"Or what?"

  
"I'll have you terminated for insubordination."

  
"Oh yeah, go crying to your Daddy about the mean lady in I.T."

  
Jumin slammed his hands on the desk. "ENOUGH." Miss Dang gasped, jumping back in surprise. Her eyebrows turned upward, and her eyes widened, revealing her fright. Miss Dang's bottom lip pouted out just a little; she looked like she might cry.

  
Jumin felt a little bit guilty for scaring her. _She must have thought I was going to hit her. I would never..._ He still felt that Miss Dang's criticisms were unjustified, but he also understood that he shouldn't have egged her on, or even raised his voice in the first place. Jumin straightened his tie, clearing his throat. "I apologize. I should not have raised my voice to you."

  
Sheepishly, Sun-Mi bowed her head a little, casting her embarrassed gaze to the side. "I'm sorry too. My behavior was inappropriate."

  
An uncomfortable silence followed, finally interrupted by a knock at the door.

  
"Damn, who died in here?" Mina asked, carting in several bags of equipment.

  
\---

  
"Mr. Han, this is my lead technician, Mina Park. Her knowledge of coding and network security is far more vast than mine, so I'm letting her take charge on this."

  
"Miss Park, please." Mr. Han gestured to his computer, grabbing his cell phone off the desk. "Excuse me for a moment, I need to make a couple of phone calls." He exited the office, and Assistant Kang followed, leaving Mina and Sun-Mi alone.

  
"Wanna vandalize the office and then bail?"

  
"We need to keep our jobs, Mina. We have cats to feed."

  
"Oh, you're right. So that's the guy, huh?"

  
"Yup."

  
"No wonder you're always at his beck and call," Mina smirked.

  
Sun-Mi socked her in the shoulder. "Mina! You're the worst!" _No way. No way in Hell._

  
Having completed the phone call to his father, Jumin returned to the office. Miss Park was seated at his computer, investigating the issue, and Miss Dang watched intently. He noted Miss Park's short skirt, her purple hair, her dusty combat boots undoubtedly dirtying the rug, her t-shirt, which read "I'm here because you broke something."

  
"Miss Dang, a word?"

  
She crossed over to him obediently. "Yes?"

  
"You need to take more responsibility for your employees. Miss Park's attire is hardly office-appropriate." He looked at Miss Dang, noting her over-the-knee boots. _Who exactly are you trying to impress?_ "Your choice today is questionable as well."

  
Miss Dang folded her arms across her chest. "I find my employees work best when they're comfortable. Section 8, paragraph 3 of the C&R Supervisor's handbook states that department heads may designate their own dress code rules, so long as they do not violate Employees Rights, section 2, paragraph 1."

  
Jumin scoffed. "You memorized it?"

  
"I'm book-smart, so what? I'm good at my job, Mr. Han. I can handle my employees."

  
Mina looked up from the computer, her glasses glinting. "Would you two shut up and let me work?"


	27. 0110.0.0110

\---

Mina Park would have made a phenomenal Boy Scout. She was always prepared. In her line of work, she operated under the constant threat of having her servers hacked. Thus, she was well-equipped with a top-notch counter offensive when the Executive Director's computer was accessed by an outsider. Viewing the screen of the compromised unit, it was clear that the intruder had simply commanded remote access of the desktop. For now, at least, the company servers seemed to be safe.

  
"Are you sure she knows what she's doing?" Mr. Han asked Sun-Mi.

  
"Absolutely."

  
"Mr. Han, I have a Master's degree in Computer Engineering from M.I.T.," Mina replied, not even bothering to look up from the screen. She began removing equipment from the bags she had brought. Mina scooted the desktop's keyboard and mouse back, making room for the two sleek laptops she produced: her own beefed-up portable unit, complete with defensive programs Mina had written herself, and a notebook she intended to use merely as a dummy computer, customized with extra memory capability. Mina connected her personal computer to Mr. Han's, opening a command console to run a trace. The device made quick work of the task, providing her with a short set of numbers which defined the one specific computer accessing this one.

"Bingo, we've got an IP address." She entered the numbers into a program, yielding a general location. "The user controlling your computer is located here in Seoul."

  
Jumin swallowed hard, wondering if maybe this was the same hacker that had tried to access RFA's confidential documents. Was he being targeted by Mint Eye? Was C&R at risk? _Miss Park, please do your best. I will have to trust you._

  
Mina opened her dummy computer, connecting it to her own. She opened another command, running a long string of code she had written. This would effectively allow her to do exactly what this hacker had done, giving her access to THEIR desktop this time, which would appear on the dummy.

  
Unfortunately, the hacker seemed to know a thing or two about cyber security. Mina grunted, irritated.

  
"What is it?" Sun-Mi asked her.

  
"The intruder's firewall is pretty beefy." Mina gave a confident smirk, cracking her knuckles. "But it's nothing I can't handle." She reached back into her bag, retrieving her home-brew decryption device and plugging it into her computer's USB port. Zeroes and ones began appearing on the small screen, flying across it at the speed of light.

  
"Is...Is that device legal?" Mr. Han asked.

  
"Don't ask," Sun-Mi replied.

  
"Any questions about this device should be directed to my lawyer."

  
Mr. Han grimaced.

  
Mina's brow furrowed, her glasses glinting ominously. _Come on...come on!_ "You can do it, sweetie," she purred to her computer. The decryption device beeped victoriously, and an unfamiliar desktop appeared on the dummy screen. _YES!_

  
"I hate to sound cliche, but..." She deepened her voice. "I'm in."

  
She opened a list of applications available on the strange desktop. "There's a webcam I can access. Wanna see our culprit?"

  
"Let's see this fucker," Sun-Mi confirmed, visibly annoyed by this whole ordeal.

  
"God I hope this person isn't nude," Mr. Han's assistant commented. 

  
Mina launched the application. Everyone in the office watched with baited breath as it loaded. Mina stared intently at the screen.

  
Finally, the image of a young man appeared, his hair red and slightly curly, golden eyes peering at the screen from behind a pair of striped prescription frames. He seemed very confused, as he could clearly discern that his desktop was now the one being accessed.

  
The director's assistant shook her head and left the room, muttering something about "Is this your idea of a joke?"

  
Mina opened her own webcam, forming a connection with the other, forcing her image onto the man's screen.

  
\---

  
Seven jumped back a few centimeters when the woman's face appeared on his screen. She laughed, indicating that she could see everything he did. _She must be accessing my webcam._

  
Having a little free time on his hands, Seven had decided to fuck with Jumin a little, mess with his computer, freak him out a little, make him think that the big, bad hacker from before was after him. It had all been a very funny joke until now. Seven had never even considered the possibility of C&R employing especially-skilled technicians in their I.T. department. His failure to realize this had come back to bite him in the ass.

  
Jumin peered into the webcam on the other side. "Seven, what exactly do you think you're doing?"

  
The purple-haired woman turned to look at Jumin, her confusion apparent. "Wait, you know this guy?"

  
"Unfortunately, yes."

  
"That's cold, Jumin. I was just messin' with ya. I thought we were friends!" Seven jokingly stuck out his bottom lip, pouting.

  
Jumin sighed. "I know you like to mess with people, but please do not involve my company. You clearly have too much time on your hands."

  
A question still nagged at Seven. Someone had managed to get through HIS firewall, which Seven had always considered to be un-hackable. This was deeply troubling, as it indicated that his skills were still seriously lacking, if his security measures could be penetrated so easily. _Heh, penetrated._ "What kind of crazy Russian hackers are you employing at C &R to bust through MY firewall."

  
Mina raised her hand. " _I_ did it." She gave a mischievous grin, proud of her accomplishment.

  
"How?"

  
The corner of Mina's mouth curled up devilishly. "I guess I'm just better at what I do than you are."

  
_Is that a challenge?_

  
A second woman appeared on Seven's screen, much more serious-looking than the first. "Anyway, please leave Mr. Han's computer alone now. Fail to comply, and the lawsuit will hit you so hard that you'll need reconstructive surgery."

  
Mina patted Sun-Mi's arm. "Easy, girl."

  
"Who are you, anyway?" Seven asked the purple-haired woman. Though he was reluctant to admit it, there was a possibility that her skills exceeded his own. If this was true, then Seven needed to not only increase his efforts at keeping his work secure, but also to gather as much information about her as he could, and keep tabs on her, should she decide to come through unannounced again.

  
"Hmm...that's for me to know. If you've got so much spare time, you can go and find out." With that, Mina shut off the connection, leaving the man on the other end very confused.

  
Reluctantly, Seven relinquished access to Jumin's computer. _It's time for me to get back to work anyway._

  
\---

  
When 5:00 finally rolled around, Mina was more than ready to leave the office for the day. She sighed loudly, watching the last ten seconds tick away, taking their sweet time with it. She shut down her company-issued desktop, a less-than-impressive model, and began loading her things into her cross-body messenger bag.

  
"Here's to hoping that tomorrow is much less eventful than today," Sun-Mi sighed, gathering her own belongings.

  
Mina grunted in agreement, her mind still occupied. Ever since the morning's events, she had only been able to focus on one thing. This annoyed her: not being able to focus her mind as she chose. The same thought coursed through her consciousness over and over. _You sure do keep some strange friends, Mr. Han._

  
She picked up the shiny motorcycle helmet she had deposited next to her desk that morning, walking with Sun-Mi to the elevator.

  
"Any plans for the evening?" Mina's friend asked her.

  
"Not really. Gym, then home. This day needs an anticlimactic ending."

  
"Agreed."

  
The exited the building, and Mina located her motorcycle, parked just outside. She swung her leg over it, settling onto the seat and slipping the helmet over her head. She revved the engine a couple of times and sped off into the night.

  
Mina arrived at her gym just over twenty minutes later. She reached into the saddlebag of her motorcycle, retrieving the set of workout clothing she had packed, before heading off to the locker room. Trading her skirt, t-shirt, and combat boots for a tank, leggings, and tennis shoes, Mina deposited her worn clothing into a locker along with her bag, and sat down on a bench to wrap her ankles. After tying her long hair into a tight bun and stretching out her legs, she headed for the boxing bags.

  
She fell into a rhythm after a while, pummelling the bag with her long-mastered kicks and knee strikes. Mina was by no means a competition-level kick-boxer, but she wasn't exactly someone you'd want to meet in a dark alley, either. After a particularly long and frustrating day, there was nothing like sparring with a big, red bag to ease her nerves.

  
After a solid hour of non-stop assault, Mina's breathing grew labored, her clothing drenched in sweat. She finished off with one final roundhouse, and headed back to the locker room to fetch her things, feeling a little more at peace than before.

  
\---

  
Mina turned her key in the lock, finally arriving home to her apartment. "Han, Chewie, I'm home." Chewie's ear twitched in response, but neither Siamese cat bothered to look up at her. "I just wish you loved me."

  
She shook her head, padding off to the kitchen. Mina removed a can of Fantasy Feast from the cabinet, and her cats came running the second they heard the can opener. "I should have named one of you Pavlov." Han chirped in response, looking at her with crossed eyes. _Feed us, mother._ Mina dumped the wet food into the cats' bowls, both felines rubbing themselves against her legs. "Oh NOW you love me. Little turd burglars."

  
Cats fed, Mina redirected her attention to feeding herself. She normally didn't mind cooking, but after the day she'd had, Mina hoped to find a semi-healthy TV dinner in the freezer. She got her wish, throwing the Steak Portabella dinner into the microwave. Once it was good and hot, Mina retrieved it, taking it with her to her battle-station, the monitors casting a subtle blue glow on her face.

  
Mina had work to do.

\---

A/N: Mina's character profile:

https://squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com/post/157932005986/mina-park-age-24-height-162-cm-birthday


	28. Welcome to Seoul

The man's head lolled over onto her shoulder, and he snorted loudly in his sleep before resuming his snoring. Anna Fredericks side-eyed him, mildly uncomfortable with the situation. She nudged him gently, and he sniffed, waking just enough to pull himself back into his own seat. It seemed as though Anna always got stuck next to the wierdies on airplanes, though this fellow had been fairly normal for the first seven or eight hours after departing LAX. Anna herself had been able to catch a few hours of rest over Hawaii, but now she was wide-awake, trying to study her Rosa Stone module while playing defense for her shoulder.

  
The flight attendant wheeled her cart by, asking Anna if she would like one last drink or snack before landing. _Has it really been twelve hours already?_ Thanking the attendant for her club soda, Anna shook her head in disbelief, bewildered by how short the jaunt from Los Angeles to Seoul had seemed. Her pug, Dizzy, gave a wheezing whine from the crate under her seat. Anna poked a small biscuit treat through the bars, quietly reassuring the dog that it wouldn't be much longer. Soon they'd be touching down in a whole new country, beginning a whole new life.

  
She returned her attention to the language module. Anna felt a little bit self-conscious, hoping no one would make fun of her if she stumbled over her words. Out of personal interest, she'd taken a few semesters of Korean at NYU while also attending culinary school, but her language skills had grown rusty from years of non-use. Anna was conversational at best in this language, much more fluent in her native English, Louisiana Creole, and French. Learning the Korean language had been difficult for her, having to learn not only a new set of words and grammar rules, but also a writing system completely different from her own. _Please help me, Yuki!_

  
The restaurant where she'd been hired as the Executive Chef had arranged for a translator, but Anna hoped that soon, that wouldn't be necessary, as she'd been devoting extra time to memorizing kitchen terminology and phrases. Her language-related anxieties aside, she felt excited about this new venture. She couldn't wait to meet Yuki's friends, to see what this new city had to offer. _A whole new city of possibilities...A whole new city of cute girls..._

  
The "Fasten Seat Belt" sign lit up, and the intercom dinged. "Please fasten your seat belts and place your trays in the upright position. We are beginning our descent." Anna loaded her laptop back into her bag and looked out the window. A range of low mountains greeted her, and she knew that they would be entering the city soon enough. The excited butterflies in her stomach stirred again, and she grinned widely as she watched the features below grow closer and closer. The strip of runway at ICN came into view, and the pilot beared toward it.

  
Dizzy yelped in surprise as the wheels touched down, and Anna could feel him wiggling anxiously in his crate. "Just be patient. I'll let you out soon enough." Finally, the plane reached its terminal, and its passengers began to swarm out, grateful for their thirteen-hour flight to be over. Tote bag over her shoulder and dog crate in her hand, Anna exited the craft, happy to finally be able to stretch her legs.

  
Garment bag after rolling suitcase after garment bag glided past on the carousel as Anna waited for her own bag- a small gray rolling suitcase, adorned with a bright yellow ribbon to catch its owner's eye. Finally, Anna spotted it, and grabbed it from the revolving belt. At last, she could proceed toward the gate, where Yuki would be waiting for her with her new boyfriend... _Hyun, was it?_

  
\---

  
Coming down the escalator, Anna looked out into the sea of people, searching for her welcoming party. Yuki had told her that she'd dress colorfully, so that she'd be easy to spot. Anna spotted a bright pink and purple kimono. It seemed that Yuki had kept her promise. She held a brightly-colored hand-lettered poster, reading "Welcome to Seoul, Anna!" in both English and Korean.

  
The two friends made eye contact and Yuki quickly passed the sign to the silver-haired man beside her, shuffling toward Anna as quickly as her sandals would allow. Anna put her things on the floor to catch Yuki in a warm hug, both of them making incoherent screeching noises of excitement.

  
Yuki squatted down on the floor. "Dizzy! Remember me?" She waggled her fingers through the bars of the crate. The dog's round body vibrated, and he made little grunting noises as he slurped at Yuki's fingers. It seemed that Dizzy did, in fact, remember her. Yuki picked up the crate, insisting on helping Anna carry her things, and they returned to the man waiting for them patiently.

  
Yuki put the crate down, clutching his arm. "This is my boyfriend, Hyun!"

  
Anna held out her hand, and Hyun gripped it firmly. "Yuki's told me so much about you, Anna. I'm very glad to finally meet you." Yuki assumed the role of translator, turning Hyun's rapid Korean to English.

  
"Likewise. I'm so glad that Yuki was able to meet you. The way she talks about you, I can tell that you love one another deeply." Yuki translated Anna's words, and Hyun went a bit pink, smiling at Yuki softly.

  
A young woman approached them, asking Hyun a question. Anna was able to discern that she wanted to take a picture with him. He obliged her, and Yuki held out a hand to take her camera. The young woman shook her head, indicating that she wanted Yuki to be in the photo as well. Yuki looked surprised for a moment, then gestured to Anna. "Our friend Anna [something something] photo." The woman passed the camera to Anna, and she snapped a couple of images.

  
The woman said her thanks, and Anna managed to respond in Korean. The woman looked surprised, but then smiled widely. Yuki gave Anna a thumbs-up. Anna turned to her. "What was that about?"

  
"Ah...I may have forgotten to mention that Hyun's kinda sorta a little bit famous..."

  
"And I guess you're guilty by association?"

  
"Something like that."

  
Anna took another look at Hyun. Despite her lack of interest in men, Anna could see that he was objectively handsome. He had a very specific kind of aura to him too; a kind of I-have-a-big-dick-but-I-don't-brag-about-it kind of deal. Anna looked at Yuki, mouthing the words _good job_.

  
\---

  
Dizzy nosed around the grassy spot near Yuki's parking place, happy to finally be free of his kennel. Yuki and Hyun loaded Anna's bags into the back of their car as they waited on the pug to finally pick a spot. He sure didn't have much urgency for a dog that had been confined for the past thirteen hours. After a good five minutes of waiting, they were finally able to pile into the car.

  
"So you're only going to be staying with us for one night?" Yuki sounded surprised.

  
"I can get the keys to my new apartment tomorrow," Anna explained.

  
"But...you won't have any furniture..."

  
"Not true! I'm renting a furnished unit, like I did in New York. I only had to have boxes shipped over. I'll be renting a truck to move them."

  
"Would you like some help?"

  
Anna waved her off. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure you've got things of your own to take care of."

  
"Tomorrow is a Saturday. I don't have anything that I have to do, so yes, I'm going to help you move."

  
"You've got a good one here, Hyun! Never let her go!"

  
Hyun laughed. "I don't plan on it!"

  
Anna returned her attention to Yuki. "The two of you really did have kind of a whirlwind romance, didn't you? It's only been a couple of months since we talked about you going out and trying to find someone, and now you've moved in together! You've got some explaining to do, young lady!"

  
Yuki giggled. "Be warned, a lot of it sounds like bullshit."

  
Anna shrugged. "Truth is stranger than fiction."

  
Yuki began. "So. The very night you and I had that conversation, I dowloaded what I thought was a dating app. An unknown person started messaging me, telling me that they'd found a phone on the subway and wanted to return it to the owner. They sent me an address, telling me to check it out."

  
"You didn't."

  
"I did. And no one was there, but then I got added to a group chat. As it turned out, it was supposed to be a private chat, but that Unknown person added me to it."

  
"Yuki, I can't believe you went to some strange address after a stranger told you to. That's a good way to get snatched up!" Anna shook her head in disbelief.

  
"I almost did get snatched up. More on that later. Anyway, it turned out that the private chat was for a charity organization. I ended up joining it. The address I was given was for an apartment that had belonged to their former party coordinator. It was a super high-security situation, so they had me stay at that apartment for a while."

  
"You're wild, Yuki."

  
"Anyway, that's how I met Hyun. He's a member of the organization. We really hit it off, talking every day. We started...to have feelings for each other. I eventually got to meet him, and those feelings just kept growing stronger. About ten days after I joined, the person who led me to that apartment broke in, and tried to kidnap me. As it turned out, he was probably part of a religious cult started by the former coordinator I mentioned before."

  
"Oh hell no!"

  
"Hyun helped me escape, and he kept me safe that night."

  
"With his penis?"

  
"ANNA! ...yes."

  
"And you shacked up after that?"

  
"Basically. Hyun told me that he didn't want to spend another day separated from me."

  
"That's...super sweet actually."

  
"So now, I'm the one coordinating parties for charity. We've got a big holiday celebration coming up in a couple of weeks. You're invited to come, of course!"

  
"I'd love to! You know, I'm glad everything worked out for you. I've missed having you around, but it really seems like you've built a happy little life for yourself here. I can see the love in Hyun's eyes when he looks at you. I'll be cheering for you both."

  
"Now it's your turn to build your happy little life!"

  
"If I can find me a girl that looks at me the way he looks at you, I'll be set!"

  
\---

  
Anna, Yuki, and Hyun crowded into the kitchen, each tackling a separate task to prepare dinner. Anna had insisting on helping Yuki cook. "Let me show you these Michelin-star knife skills!" She skillfully deboned the chicken thighs that would go into their British-style curry dinner while Yuki heated some butter in a pan. Of course, Hyun hadn't wanted to sit around like a useless lump while the women did all the work, so he had taken charge of the rice. Dizzy danced around their feet, waiting for any scraps that should fall his way.

  
"How did the two of you become friends? I know you were both living in New York at the same time, but it's a big city!"

  
Yuki began to explain. "We met during my time as an undergrad at NYU. I had to take two semesters of a foreign language for my core requirement, so I enrolled in Korean so that I'd have an easy time, 'learning' a language that I already knew."

  
Anna jumped in. "I was in culinary school at the time, but I decided to take the same Korean class at NYU. I was working in a restaurant then, and the owners were Korean. Some of the employees didn't speak any English, and I wanted to be able to communicate with them better."

  
"We ended up seated together, so whenever we had out-loud speaking exercises in class, we paired up. We got along really well, and we started studying together outside of class."

  
"I guess it was more like tutoring," Anna laughed. "Considering that Yuki was secretly fluent the whole time!"

  
"Anyway, we were friends after that. Have been ever since."

  
"I can't believe that we both ended up moving to the same city for work..."

  
"When do you start at your new restaurant?"

  
"Monday. I'm so excited!"

  
Yuki scratched her head thoughtfully. "I should make a reservation within the next couple of weeks. I've got a friend whose birthday is coming up, and I'd like to take her out to dinner."

  
"Oh yeah," Hyun remarked. "Jaehee's birthday IS coming up, isn't it?"

\---

A/N: Anna's character profile:

https://squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com/post/158045167781/anna-fredericks-age-26-height-171-cm-birthday


	29. Roll for Initiative

Chae-Young double-checked the address Yoosung had given her, making sure she had pulled into the right apartment complex. She looked up at the large concrete building in front of her, squinting to see the numbers of the street address posted by the office. _Shit, I forgot to put my contacts in._ Once she could confirm that she was, indeed, parked in front of the correct building, she rang him. Yoosung picked up quickly, telling Chae-Young that he'd be down in a few minutes.

  
Chae-Young grumbled to herself, frustrated about her missing contacts. She had her glasses with her, but she didn't really want to have to wear them, believing that they made her look kind of dorky. However, she also didn't want to spend the entire evening squinting and playing trombone with her character sheet. She sighed and reached into her bag, pulling out the hinged case and sliding the frames onto her face.

  
A familiar head of blond hair emerged from behind one of the doors on the third floor. They'd been playing LOLOL almost every day for weeks now, and the time had finally come for Chae-Young to introduce Yoosung to the magical world of tabletop RPGs. He knocked on the passenger-side window of her hybrid, and she unlocked the door, allowing him to climb inside.

  
"Why did you have the door locked?"

  
Chae-Young shrugged. "Force of habit."

  
Yoosung turned to her, a quizzical look on his face. "I didn't know you wore glasses."

  
"Oh- yeah...I usually prefer contacts, but I forgot them today. Just gonna fully lean in to the geekiness today I guess..."

  
"Geekiness?"

  
"I mean, don't I look like a huge dork with these?"

  
"You look fine," Yoosung shrugged. "You shouldn't worry so much about that sort of thing."

  
"I know..." Chae-Young mumbled as she turned the key in the ignition.

  
"So, like, how is B&B gonna be different from LOLOL?"

  
"Well, the gameplay is different. It really is role-play-based. You interact with other characters and with the setting AS your character. You have to make choices based on what your character would do. It's also roll-play, as in R-O-L-L. You use different dice to determine the outcome of different events, like, if you're attacking an enemy in a battle, you have to roll to see if your attack hits, and then to see how much damage it does. Thematically, it's still a fantasy-type world, though."

  
"What got you into it?"

  
"I've been playing since high school. Some of my classmates used to play at lunchtime. I guess it's going on...six or seven years now?"

  
"I bet you're really good then!"

  
"I mean, I'm good at maximizing my chances of success, but so much of it is left up to chance that it evens the playing field a little. Our game master put together all of the characters we're going to be playing tonight, so you don't have to worry about that."

  
"Game master?" Yoosung seemed confused.

  
"Yeah, he's sort of like a narrator. He's written out everything we can do, and what happens based on our choices, and he kind of controls the game world. If your character dies, he can kind of fudge things to bring them back," Chae-Young explained.

  
"I see."

  
"Oh! That's right," Chae-Young exclaimed. "How did your Biology test go?"

  
"We got our grades back yesterday, actually."

  
"And?"

  
"I actually got an A."

  
Chae-Young lit up. "Dude! Good job! I'm proud of you!" She grinned widely. That sort of smile seemed to be a rare occurrence for her. When Chae-Young smiled, it was typically more of a smirk, or a wry grin. Yoosung felt warm inside. He liked this smile better.

  
_I want to make you smile like this more._

  
\---

  
"Open up, fucker!" Chae-Young yelled, pounding on the apartment's front door with her fist.

  
"Chae! Shh! You're gonna disturb the people across the way!"

  
"You mean the weed dealers? Nah, they're used to our shit."

  
Finally, a tall, bespectacled young man, with long black hair tied back into a messy bun, answered the door. "Hey, you ready to get weird?"

  
"Always. I even wore my special shirt." Chae-Young unzipped her jacket, showing off her t-shirt that read: "Ain't no party like a B&B party 'cause the B&B party don't stop until the healer is dead and we've used up all of our potions."

  
The man's eyes flicked over to Yoosung, and he lowered his glasses a little to get a better look at him. "This your friend?"

  
"Yeah. Won-Jae, Yoosung. Yoosung, Won-Jae. He's gonna be our GM for the evening."

  
Won-Jae chuckled softly, still looking at Yoosung. "Cute."

  
"Easy boy." Chae-Young put a hand on Won-Jae's chest, pushing him aside so that they could enter. She shook her head. They'd been here all of two minutes and already Won-Jae was trying to work his magic. _You old horn-dog, you._

  
Her other two friends, Junsu and Momo, were already seated at the card table set up in the living room, their character sheets laid out in front of them. Chae-Young introduced them, taking a seat at the table and pulling her legs up into the chair with her, as she normally did. Despite her ability to focus, Chae-Young tended to struggle with sitting still in a chair for long periods of time. This made for some interesting sitting positions during their more extended gameplay sessions.

  
Won-Jae took a seat at a small desk positioned next to the table, his gaming materials hidden behind a tall divider. "Ok, so I've put together a one-shot session for tonight. It'll be pretty straightforward- nothing too deep or complicated- just a fun, light-hearted something-something." He passed them their character sheets. "These are the characters you'll be playing tonight. I'm making you play a character that ISN'T magic-based, Chae-Young," he quipped.

  
Chae-Young feigned disappointment, looking over her half-demon rogue. She looked over to Yoosung, who seemed confused by the elf ranger character sheet. "You good?"

  
"What do all of the pluses and minuses mean?"

  
"Oh, those are your modifiers. Sometimes, when you want to do an action, you have to roll to see how well you do it. You apply the modifiers to the number that you roll. The higher your number, the more successful you are."

  
"This is a lot of math!"

  
"Oh hush, you! If three art majors can play this game, so can you!" She gestured to Won-Jae, Momo, and herself.

  
"What is your major, Yoosung?" Junsu asked.

  
"Pre-Veterinary."

  
"I didn't know we had that here..."

  
"Oh! I don't go to Daesun. I go to SKY." Yoosung explained.

  
Momo cocked her head. "How do you know Chae-Young, then?"

  
"He knows Yuki," Chae-Young explained. "We even posed for one of her paintings a couple of weeks ago."

  
Yoosung turned a little bit red, remembering that encounter.

  
Won-Jae raised an eyebrow. "Isn't her current series kind of _Made-in-Heaven_ -y?"

  
"That's exactly how I described it! She didn't actually have us...you know. It was all posed. I'm not THAT big of a slut, you know."

  
"Shit, man, I'd have done it. He's cute."

  
Chae-Young smirked, engaging Won-Jae in his completely-non-serious banter. She stuck out her bottom lip, latching onto Yoosung's arm. "No way," she murmured in a faux-whiny voice, her lips dangerously close to his neck. "Yoosung belongs to me!"

  
It was obvious to everyone in the room that Chae-Young and Won-Jae were joking with one another, but Yoosung's pulse quickened nonetheless, and he felt the color rising in his cheeks.

  
"I don't see your name on him."

  
"I guess I'll just have to put a collar on him, then!" Yoosung flushed completely red when she said that. As much as this was all a very silly off-color joke, he couldn't deny that he liked the idea of being owned by Chae-Young. His imagination would certainly run wild with this one.

  
\---

  
Finally, thankfully, they started the session. Won-Jae described how the characters woke up in the dark depths of a dungeon, with seemingly only one way out. The group made their way down a corridor, Momo careful to use her wizard's abilities to check for any traps along the way. Won-Jae described a squishing sound just discernible further down the way.

  
"No. Oh, no," Chae-Young groaned.

  
Won-Jae cackled.

  
"Did I ever tell you that I hate you so much?"

  
"What is it?"

  
"Ahead of you is a large blue, jelly-like mass, wobbling ominously."

  
"It's a gelatinous cube."

  
"Hey, no meta-gaming!"

  
"Ok, fine, I roll for insight." Momo tossed her 20-sided die onto the table. "With my modifier...that's a...nineteen."

  
"It's a gelatinous cube."

  
"Now what?"

  
"If you want to get out, you're going to have to defeat it. So roll for initiative."

  
Half-an-hour later, Junsu's character was down to 2 HP, having gotten sucked into the jelly monster twice, Momo was out of spells, and Yoosung was currently stuck inside the cube.

  
"The dice are trying to kill me!"

  
"I'm going to try to pull him out," Chae-Young announced.

  
"Roll a strength check to see if you can."

  
"16."

  
"You pull him out. Now roll a dex check."

  
"Why?" Chae-Young asked, suddenly worried.

  
"Just roll."

  
"8."

  
"You stumble and fall into the cube yourself."

  
"FUCK."

  
Another round passed, both Yoosung and Momo having tried (and failed) to pull Chae-Young to safety.

  
She sighed. "Can I try to get out myself?"

  
"You can try. You'll need an 18 or higher, though."

  
"I haven't got anything left to lose." Chae-Young shook the 20-sider in her closed fist, blowing into it a couple of times. She finally released the die, and the party stared with the intensity of a thousand suns as it skittered across the table. Finally, it landed, "20" side up. "FUCK YES. NAT 20! SUCK A DICK, CUBE!"

  
"You rip yourself from the cube with such force that it falls to pieces, trembling at your might."

  
Chae-Young cackled. "Bow before your god!" Yoosung watched her smiling. This was nice, all of them hanging out, goofing around. Chae-Young seemed truly happy, and this made him happy too.

  
\---

  
Finally, they emerged from the dungeon, taking a well-deserved long rest, their spell slots and HP returning. They continued on with the story, having entered the town square right in the middle of a fair. Won-Jae described the various attractions and they meandered about the setting, investigating, looking for the key element that would advance the story.

  
The party was approached by an old woman, claiming that she had long been searching for a treasure trove which contained an ancient grimoire. She assured them that if they located the item, and brought it to her, they could keep any treasure which accompanied it.

  
"Pretty straightforward," Chae-Young commented.

  
"What do you want from me? It's only supposed to be a one-shot!"

  
The group started on their journey, entering a thick forest, the veteran players suspicious of the sudden darkness of the setting. Momo's character cast a "Dancing Lights" spell, illuminating their path.  
Chae-Young bit her lip, looking over at Yoosung. She hoped that he was enjoying this, as she was going to feel really funny if it turned out that she had dragged him out just to play some dorky game that he didn't actually care about. She squinted over the frames of her glasses. He seemed engrossed, laughing at the other players antics and getting worked up when the action built. _That's a good sign, right?_

  
The bushes rustled in front of them.

  
"Should we roll for initiative?"

  
"Hey, you're catching on!" Chae-Young smiled, pleased.

  
"Luckily for you, it is only a dog."

  
"Can I pet the dog?" Yoosung asked.

  
"Roll a check for animal handling."

  
"Ooh, Nat One. Tough break, bro."

  
"You slap the dog."

  
"NO!"

  
Chae-Young almost fell out of her chair laughing. "Hey, at least you used that bad roll now and not in battle."

  
"Speaking of which, roll for initiative!"

  
"Oh god are you fucking kidding me?"

  
"Yep. A werewolf tramps toward you. That dog is his pet, and now he's angry that you slapped it."

  
"Oh Jesus Christ."

  
They took turns launching a valiant offensive against the werewolf. It fought back fiercely, gravely injuring Chae-Young's character. Luckily for the party, the monster was bloodied, and close to defeat, and the other three still maintained plenty of health. The next move would be Yoosung's, followed by the werewolf.

  
He considered his options carefully, knowing that the enemy would probably attack Chae-Young, as she was closest, and the most vulnerable. Theoretically, it would be possible to defeat it on this turn, but it would take two rolls over 15, and that wasn't likely.

  
"I move to shield Chae-Young."

  
"Are you sure? You could be injured by the werewolf."

  
"I still have plenty of HP left. I want to protect her."

  
Chae-Young looked at him, her eyebrows lifting slightly. "Don't worry about me."

  
Yoosung shrugged. "My character is lawful good. It's what he would do." _Let me protect you._

  
It seemed that he had made the right choice. The monster did indeed attack, but it failed to leave any fatal injuries. Junsu and Momo managed to take it out on their turns, ending the battle.

  
Yoosung turned to Chae-Young, grinning. "This is fun!"

  
Chae-Young breathed a sigh of relief. "I told you!"

  
"And you were right!"

  
\---

  
"Up ahead, a sphinx guards your hard-earned treasure. 'Before you may pass, I will ask you three riddles. You must correctly answer two of the three in order to proceed.'"

  
"What is your name? What is your quest?" Chae-Young jested.

  
"Are they African or European swallows?" Yoosung added. Chae laughed, and they high-fived.

  
"Hush, you two. 'First riddle: What walks on four legs, then two, then three?'"

  
"That's easy," Chae-Young retorted, running her hand through her hair confidently. "It's a person. They crawl on all fours as babies, then walk on two legs as an adult, and then the cane becomes the third leg in old age."

  
"Oh well fine, then." Won-Jae rolled his eyes, wondering if he should have spent more time searching for his puzzles on the internet. "'Second riddle: The part of the bird, that is not in the sky, which can swim in the ocean, and always stay dry.'"

  
Chae-Young shrugged, stumped by this one. The party began collaborating, popping off ideas and trying to work out the puzzle line by line. Yoosung leaned back, staring at the ceiling, tapping his pencil against his lips. "It's the shadow..." he said aloud, finally.

  
Chae smacked herself in the forehead. "Of course! Won-Jae, is that the correct answer?"

  
"That is correct. Congratulations, you may claim your treasure."

  
"You're so smart, Yoosung."

  
Yoosung turned just slightly pink, laying his hand on the back of his neck. "I-I don't know about that. I got lucky, I guess." He smiled, looking into Chae-Young's pretty brown eyes, holding her gaze for a few moments. _Tonight was fun...then again, I always have fun doing stuff with you._

  
"Anyway, who wants to order a pizza?"


	30. A Match Made in Hell

The early Saturday morning sun filtered through Sun-Mi's bedroom window, specks of dust dancing in the soft rays as they fell across the woman's face. Choo-Choo padded across the carpeted floor, hopping up onto the bed with some effort, and crawling over to his human's face and patting it lightly with his paw. Sun-Mi's eyes flickered open, and she scooped the cat into her arms, cuddling him and scratching him behind the ears. Choo-Choo wiggled in her embrace, chirping and nibbling on her nose.

  
"Are you hungry?" Sun-Mi chuckled.

  
"Mmmrehh."

  
Sun-Mi rolled out of bed, tugging on a robe and sliding her feet into a pair of slippers before accompanying Choo-Choo to the kitchen. She emptied a tin of "Fish Fiesta" wet food into his dish and started the kettle on the stove. She could hear the faint sound of her ringing cell phone in the bedroom, and she sprinted back to pick it up.

  
"Good morning, _Appa_."

  
"Hello, Sweetheart. What are you planning to do today?"

  
"I don't really have any plans to go out...I might do some sewing."

  
"Any dates lately?"

  
"I think you know the answer to that."

  
"Why not?"

  
_Are we really having this conversation again?_ "You know why." It had been at least three years since Sun-Mi had been on a date. It seemed like every time Sun-Mi would start seeing someone, and she'd start to really like him, he'd start sniffing around about her financial situation, her inheritance. The way Sun-Mi had begun to see it, she wasn't pretty enough to be desired for her looks, and she wasn't interesting enough to be loved for who she was.

  
"You're still young. Are you really so convinced that you won't find someone who truly loves you?"

  
"You know how it is for people like us, _Appa_. It's never about us. It's about our money."

  
"What if I told you that I have someone you'd like to meet?"

  
Sun-Mi shook her head vigorously. "Oh, no. Absolutely not."

  
"Trust me, I understand your hesitation. You'd be meeting the son of a close friend of mine. From what I've been told, he's had a lot of the same hesitations as you, the same sort of attitude about dating."

  
Sun-Mi grunted in response. "I don't know if I like this idea."

  
"What if I promise not to ask you about this again for three months?"

  
"Make it six months."

  
"Done."

  
"When?"

  
"Monday, at lunch. I'll pick you up."

  
\---

  
By the time Monday finally rolled around, Sun-Mi's anxiety had escalated to a record high. She truly dreaded this arrangement, but the promise of six sweet months, free of her father's meddling, overrode her aversion to matchmaking dates. After all, no one said she had to start seeing this man; she just had to meet him to satisfy her father and his friend. After that, Sun-Mi would be free to carry on with her normal life, and never see this man again.

  
She spent the morning in the office, trying (and failing) to focus on her work, and hide her nerves from her coworkers. Nothing got past Mina, however, and her careful gaze studied Sun-Mi, trying to work out exactly what was happening with her friend. When Sun-Mi pulled out a cosmetic bag and began touching up her makeup, staring into her small compact mirror, a line of worry forming between her eyes, the pieces started to come together.

  
"Got a lunch date?" Mina asked quietly, scooting over in her desk chair.

  
Sun-Mi sighed, lowering her voice. "I'm going on a matchmaking date during lunch today."

  
Mina struggled not to gasp in surprise. "What?!"

  
"I know. I know. But if I go, my dad won't ask me about it again for six months."

  
"Why is he so dead-set on getting you fixed up with someone?"

  
"He just...doesn't want me to be lonely. He wants me to be taken care of."

  
Mina made a _pfft_ noise. "You can take care of yourself."

  
"I know. But...I don't really have any family other than my dad. You know that. When he's gone...he doesn't want me to be all by myself."

  
Both women were quiet for a few minutes before Mina finally spoke. "Well...I guess I understand. Go, but...send up a smoke signal if you need an out."

  
At 12:00 sharp, Sun-Mi's phone vibrated, announcing her father's arrival. She climbed into the back of the town car where he was already seated, smoothing the skirt of her grey-and-lavender printed dress. Mr. Dang leaned over and kissed his daughter on the cheek. "You look lovely, Darling."

  
The driver let them out at the front of the Grand Imperial Palace hotel, and Sun-Mi's father turned to face her, resting his hands on her shoulders. "Are you ready?"

  
"As ready as I'll ever be."

  
\---

  
Driver Kim opened the back door of the black sedan, and Jumin stepped out in front of the hotel where he and his father planned to meet with a client for lunch. He fiddled with his shirt sleeve as he entered, spotting the Chairman waiting just inside.

 

"Hello, Father."

  
"Jumin, I'm glad you've made it."

  
"Remind me, what is the name of the client we are meeting today?"

  
The chairman hesitated for a moment. "Well, to be quite honest...I didn't exactly have you come in order to meet a client."

  
Jumin sighed. "Will I be meeting your latest girlfriend?" He felt more than a little annoyed to have been dragged out for such a frivolous reason, and it showed on his face.

  
"Not exactly. Today is...about you."

  
"How so?" Jumin raised an eyebrow, suspicious.

  
"I've arranged for you to meet the daughter of a close friend of mine."

  
Jumin made an exasperated noise, running a hand through his hair. "So this is a matchmaking date."

  
"Well, yes."

  
"Why would you lie to me about this?"

  
"Because I knew that you wouldn't come otherwise."

  
"If you knew I wouldn't be keen on the idea, why would you make the arrangement in the first place?"

  
"Jumin, it's time you found a nice woman and settled down."

  
"I believe you're well aware of why I'm not interested in that." Jumin crossed his arms, his eyebrows knitting together.

  
"Please...just humor me this once."

  
"I'll do it, not because I want to, but out of courtesy to your friend, and his daughter. It will be up to you to explain your mistake."

  
Chairman Han sighed. "Please at least try to keep an open mind. You never know, you might really like her. She's quite lovely, from what Mr. Dang has told me."

  
\---

  
Mr. Dang led Sun-Mi into the hotel's restaurant. "They should be here...Ah! There they are!"

  
Sun-Mi looked at her feet nervously as she followed her father through the crowded room. Her heart pounded, nerves fraying with anticipation. Even though she had no intention of seeing this man past today, a tiny, tiny part of her wanted to hope that maybe...just maybe... It wasn't that Sun-Mi didn't want to find someone to love her. She was just used to being disappointed.

  
Arriving at the table, she looked up, gasping, her eyes growing wide.

  
"Hello again, Chairman. It's good to see you as well, Jumin. This is my daughter, Sun-Mi. Sweetheart, this is Chairman Han, and his son, Jumin."

  
Sun-Mi stammered for a moment, her face painted with horrified confusion. Mr. Han... _Jumin_ seemed equally shocked, struggling for a moment to find words.

  
"Miss Dang..."

  
"Have you met before?"

  
Hands shaking, Sun-Mi slowly turned her head to look at her father. "Y-you do know that I work for C&R, right?"

  
"Oh...yes...but, I didn't think your paths would have crossed..."

  
"They have. Multiple times." An awkward silence settled between them, both fathers feeling a bit silly for not having considered the possibility before. Finally, Jumin cleared his throat, gesturing toward the table.

  
"Shall we?"

  
Sun-Mi took her seat at the table, folding her hands neatly in her lap, casting her gaze to the side, too mortified to make eye contact. She swore she could feel Jumin's eyes on her, and her cheeks grew very pink.

  
\---

  
Jumin couldn't help staring at Sun-Mi, ( _such a pretty name_ ) dumbfounded as to how he had gotten into this situation. His relationship with her was...tenuous at best, and yet, here he was, on a _matchmaking_ date of all things.

  
His suspicions about her had been confirmed. She _did_ come from money, as Mr. Dang had built a successful business of his own. So...why had she taken a middle-management position at C &R, when she could very well have any high-level rank she desired in her father's company. _You are an enigma, Miss Dang...Sun-Mi._

  
Still, this was a very awkward position for Jumin. He couldn't say he was exactly fond of Sun-Mi. Both of their personalities tended toward the dominant end of the spectrum, and they sought control of every situation. Now, it seemed that neither of them controlled this scenario. Sun-Mi seemed incredibly uncomfortable, her posture stiff and her face very, very pink. She almost looked...cute. Almost.

Jumin shook his head, pushing that very silly thought out of his mind.

  
The waiter arrived then, rescuing them momentarily from their suffering. Jumin's father ordered an expensive bottle of wine for himself and Mr. Dang, and Jumin, a single glass of Chianti.

  
"And for the lady, perhaps a nice rose'?"

  
"Scotch. Neat."

  
"You don't care much for wine, Miss Dang?" Though they now sat in front of one another as equals, Jumin still felt a little odd calling Sun-Mi by her first name. To him, it felt a bit too...familiar.

  
"I do like it on occasion, but it's not my favorite. It tastes...dusty...to me. I prefer the fresh sharpness of Scotch."

  
Chairman Han addressed Sun-Mi. "You said that you and my son have met before?"

  
"Yes. I've repaired his computer on several occasions."

  
"You work for the I.T. department, then?"

  
"Miss Dang is the department head for I.T." Jumin clarified.

  
"I see. I'm a bit surprised that you didn't choose to work for your father's company."

  
"I ah...I didn't want to take a position based on nepotism. I wanted to work my way up, like a normal person."

  
Jumin cleared his throat, trying not to take offense. "Why would you want to be a normal person?"

  
Sun-Mi was silent for a moment. "I guess...I just want to stay humble. It can be difficult, when you're born into power and money..."

  
Jumin rested his chin in his hands. Sun-Mi continued to surprise him. He was beginning to understand why maybe she wouldn't be too fond of him. He'd done everything that she tried to avoid.

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi absolutely wanted to die. She felt as if she might sink right through the floor from humiliation. She had been right to be wary of this scheme. _Jumin-fucking-Han of all people._ She took a discreet glance at her watch, disappointed to see that only fifteen minutes had passed, that she would be trapped here for at least another forty-five. She almost jumped when her father began to speak.

  
"You know, I recently read an article about citrus fruits on their effects on children's teeth."

  
Sun-Mi's face screwed up in confusion, looking at him.

  
"Are you interested in children or things like that, Jumin?"

  
"I-I suppose so..."

  
Sun-Mi lifted her glass to her lips. "Pushing...pushing..." This was getting to be all too much. It had been embarrassing enough to arrive at this date, only to find that Jumin was the man that she was supposed to meet, but now, she had to watch as her father essentially asked him if he wanted to have children with her. She picked up her handbag. "Please excuse me for a moment."

  
She hurried off to the bathroom, digging out her cell phone, sending Mina a text that simply read, "S.O.S." Mina called her back immediately.

  
"Tell them that there's a RAM emergency, and you need to return immediately."

  
After waiting an appropriate amount of time, Sun-Mi returned to the table. "I'm sorry to ruin this, but my lead technician just called. There's been a-a RAM emergency. I need to get back as quickly as possible. I am very sorry."

  
"Are you sure you can't stay?" Mr. Dang's disappointment was palpable.

  
Luckily, Jumin was willing to come to Sun-Mi's rescue. "It sounds like a serious issue. You should be getting back. The three of us will hold it down." He gave her a faint, understanding smile.

  
Without another word, Sun-Mi turned on the ball of her foot, and left.

  
\---

  
Back in the basement office, Sun-Mi groaned, removing her grey suede pumps. "That...was probably one of the worst things I've ever experienced."

  
"Sorry to hear it," Mina replied, chuckling. "At least your date wasn't Mr. Han."

  
Sun-Mi froze, a very funny look on her face.

  
"No. No effing way." The two women looked at one another, bursting into peals of laughter at the absurdity of the situation.

  
\---

  
Jumin sat in his office, resting his head in his hands, his brow furrowed with frustration. All afternoon he'd struggled to focus, only able to think about that bizarre lunch meeting, about how his father had set him up with Sun-Mi Dang, of all women. Something about her suddenly seemed very familiar. Jumin closed his eyes, trying to jog his memory.

  
Finally, something came to him.

  
_Years ago...more than a decade-and-a-half ago, really, Jumin sat in the back of a car with his father after the school day had ended, his father telling him that they needed to make one more stop before going home. Chairman Han needed to visit a friend for a few minutes; it wouldn't take long._

  
_The car stopped in front of a large house-not as big as Jumin's, but still greater than the average family's- and Jumin's father nudged him out. A man, about the same age as Chairman Han, met them at the gate._

 

_"This is my son, Jumin. Jumin, say hello to Mr. Dang."_

  
_Mr. Dang extended a hand. "It's nice to meet you. I'm going to talk to your father inside for a few minutes. I have a daughter just about your age. You can wait with her if you like. I believe she's out here, somewhere."_

  
_Walking toward the house, they passed a large tree, its thick limbs twisting every which way. Mr. Dang looked up at the tiny girl perched on one, a thick book spread out on her lap. "Sun-Mi! I'll be talking inside with Mr. Han. Please be nice to his son, Jumin." Sun-Mi looked up, sunlight flickering across her freckled cheeks._

  
_The two men went inside, leaving the two children looking at one another._

  
_"How did you get up there?" Jumin finally asked._

  
_"I climbed."_

  
_"Really?"_

  
_"Yeah, it's not hard."_

  
_"I'm not supposed to climb trees. It's too dangerous."_

  
_"It's only dangerous if you're not careful. Wanna try?"_

  
_"I don't know how."_

  
_"I'll show you." Sun-Mi held the spine of her book in her mouth, carefully shimmying down the tree. She pointed to the spot where the trunk split in two. "That's where you put your foot first. Then you swing your leg up."_

  
_Jumin attempted to follow her instructions, not quite able to make it into the cleft of the trunk. "I can't do it."_

  
_"Here." Sun-Mi got on all-fours, gesturing for Jumin to step on her back. "Try now."_

  
_A little concerned that he might hurt the girl, he hesitantly stepped onto the broadest part of her back, finally successfully swinging himself up. Sun-Mi followed closely behind him, and he sat next to her on the limb as she resumed her reading._

  
_"You like to read?"_

  
_"Mmm."_

  
_Jumin watched her as she intently stared at the pages, studying her face- her deep blue eyes, her little nose, turned upward at the end, her pretty freckled cheeks..._ I-I think you're cute.

  
_He looked away, embarrassed, kicking his legs as he waited for his father to finish._

  
_Finally, Chairman Han emerged, surprised to see Jumin in the tree. "Come along, son. It's time to go home." Jumin waited until the two adult men looked away, talking to one another, so that he could lean over and give Sun-Mi a quick, little kiss on the cheek._

  
_"I-I'll see you around!"_

  
Jumin smacked himself in the forehead, dumbfounded. _There's no way...I can't believe it..._ He pressed the "talk" button on the intercom. "Assistant Kang, please contact a florist."

  
\---

  
Choo-Choo greeted Sun-Mi with a happy meow at the door as she arrived home, very happy that this unfortunate day was finally over. She picked up the cat and mashed him against her face, muttering into his fur. She was just about to head into the kitchen for a stiff drink when her doorbell rang.

  
"Yes? Who is it?"

  
"Floral delivery."

  
Sun-Mi opened the door, receiving the bouquet of bright yellow sunflowers.

  
The card simply read, "Some match, huh?"


	31. Red

A sharp _whoosh_ of cold air hit Anna in the face as she opened the back door to the kitchen at her restaurant. The dinner rush at Madeleine's would be beginning within the next couple of hours, and Anna would be right in the thick of it, preparing the more complicated dishes, cooking and plating each dish with skillful precision. She took great pride in her art, having spent countless hours honing her craft. She also reveled in the fact that every step up came to her as a result of her own dedicated work and hard-earned skills, unlike so many of the men she'd encountered in her field.

  
Anna took her place at the center of the kitchen, rolling up the sleeves of her crisp, white chef's coat and giving her knives a once-over with a whetstone. As the five o'clock hour commenced, the orders began to trickle in. It would only be a matter of time before the kitchen was absolutely swamped, as Friday nights always promised a hungry crowd, celebrating the beginning of the weekend.

  
Sure enough, by 5:30, dinner tickets littered the line, and Anna made herself dizzy delegating tasks, making sure her kitchen ran with the precision of a finely-tuned performance engine. Waiters buzzed in and out, bringing new orders, taking completed dishes. Cooks called to one another for ingredients or instructions. Just another crazy Friday night at the back of the house.

  
"I think Yuki's reservation is for tonight..." Anna mused to herself.

  
\---

  
Jaehee shuffled the papers on her desk, trying in vain to organize them. For once in her life, she was headed home at the correct time. Well, a half-hour later than most of the employees, but still an improvement! She shut down her computer for the weekend, in a hurry to get home and change clothes. Yuki had insisted on taking Jaehee out for her birthday, and they had a 7:30 reservation at a high-end French restaurant. Her birthday was still a couple of weeks away, but by that time, Jaehee would be too busy tying up the final details for Mr. Han's New Year's party to have time to celebrate.

  
She laughed to herself, remembering how Yuki had called Mr. Han, griping at him to make sure to let Jaehee go on time tonight. At least Yuki would always be looking out for her. Jaehee was glad that she could finally consider her a close friend.

  
She ducked her head into Mr. Han's office to let him know that she was leaving, then strode quickly toward the elevator before he could think of a reason to keep her behind. When the lift's doors finally closed, Jaehee breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled out her phone to send Yuki a quick text. "Leaving the office now."

  
At home, she speed-walked to her bedroom, flinging open the closet doors. Jaehee slid hanger after hanger to the side, searching for something a little more fun and playful than her normal business attire. _Yeesh, even my formal dresses seem buttoned-up._ Finally, Jaehee managed to locate a lovely red number. It hadn't gotten much mileage over the years, as Jaehee rarely found opportunities where the dress's deep neckline was appropriate.

  
She hadn't been on a date in years, considering how she basically ate, slept, and breathed work now, and the few formal occasions her job provided her called for attire a bit more...modest, in all senses of the word. This fire-engine red silk cocktail, with its low, v-shaped neckline emphasizing Jaehee's-ahem-assets, was far too flashy for C&R or RFA affairs. _I hope this still fits!_

  
The zipper slid all the way up with no complaints, the garment still fitting her like a glove, thanks to Jaehee's regular Judo practice. She removed her non-prescription frames and placed them carefully on her nightstand; she wouldn't be needing these tonight. Jaehee quickly looked into the mirror of her dresser, tousling her short hair a little and reaching for a red lipstick to match her dress. She glanced at her watch, seeing that Yuki would be arriving soon with their Uver ("I can't promise that I'll still be good to drive at the end of the night.") Jaehee quickly dabbed a little bit of her Miss Dion perfume on her wrists and decolletage.

  
\---

  
Yuki scooted over to the other side of the black sedan's back seat, allowing Jaehee to slide in. "Are you excited?"

  
"I can't wait! I've been looking forward to this all week!"

  
"Well, you deserve it," Yuki smiled, happy to treat her friend to an evening of luxury. "You look nice."

  
Jaehee nervously brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "You don't think it's too much?"

  
"Nah." Yuki shook her head. "You look hot."

  
"It's been a long time since I've worn something like this."

  
"You should get a cute dress for the RFA party next week."

  
"I'm not sure it'd be okay for me to dress too flashy, considering I'll be there partially as Mr. Han's assistant."

  
Yuki waved her off. "I'll be there as the freaking party coordinator, and you can bet I'll be looking good. You deserve to dress cute as much as anyone."

  
Jaehee tapped her finger against her bottom lip. "There is this one dress I saw in a store window a couple of days ago..."

  
"Then get it. If anyone says anything about it, I'll kick their ass."

  
Jaehee laughed. "Oh! I don't think you told me where we're going tonight."

  
"We have a reservation for a four-course meal at Madeleine's."

  
"Oh! I know about Madeleine's. I've made reservations for Mr. Han a couple of times." Jaehee lowered her voice a little. "Isn't it really expensive?"

  
"It's not as bad as it could be. I know the chef anyhow, so we'll get a discount. Besides, it's your _birthday_. If your friends can't spoil you on your birthday, when can they? Everyone deserves nice things once in a while."

  
\---

  
The sedan pulled to a stop at the front door of a provincial one-story building, bearing the restaurant's name on a small sign next to the door. Yuki and Jaehee climbed out of the backseat, making their way to the door. The maitre d' met them just inside, asking if they had a reservation.

  
Yuki lowered her voice, matching the restaurant's quiet ambiance. "Yes. I believe it will be under 'Asano.'"

  
The maitre d' checked a small notepad. "Oh, yes. Please follow me." He led them to a small table near the middle of the dining room, pulling each seat out. "This is a birthday dinner, from what I understand?"

  
"Yes," Yuki responded, gesturing to Jaehee. "Her birthday isn't for another couple of weeks, but we're celebrating early."

  
"We'll do our best to make sure you have a lovely evening. Your waiter should be arriving shortly."

  
Both women smiled as the maitre d' left them. Jaehee felt excited. It had been a long time since she'd had a fine meal like this. She couldn't wait to taste what might very well turn out to be one of the most delicious meals she'd ever had. After a few minutes, their waiter approached, bearing a vintage Pinot Noir and two glasses.

  
"Good evening, ladies. I hope this red suits your liking. Your first course will be out before long- our classic Porcini Mushroom Tartlets, followed by a rich French Onion soup, and Steak Au Poivre as the main course, accompanied by a rustic Ratatouille." Jaehee thought her eyes might roll back in her head; she could swear that she had died and gone to heaven. The waiter poured a little bit of wine into each glass, allowing the two women to taste it. Jaehee sniffed her glass before taking a sip, complex flavors washing over her tongue. The wine's crispness quieted its cherry sweetness. Jaehee found its mild, juicy flavor exceedingly pleasant.

  
The appetizer course followed soon after, presenting Jaehee and Yuki with a small plate of puff pastries, dressed elegantly with porcini mushrooms and chopped walnuts. Yuki wasted no time reaching for one as soon as the waiter had left them. Jaehee watched, finishing one last sip of wine before commencing with her meal. Yuki chewed for a moment, her head lolling to the side as her eyes flickered shut, her foodgasm overtaking her. "You gotta try this," she urged, mouth still full of pastry.

  
Jaehee plucked a tartlet from the plate, eager to take a bite. The buttery pastry melted in her mouth, its flaky layers crumbling away to allow the nuts and mushrooms to take center stage, the slight bitterness of the walnuts balanced by the earthy, meaty flavor of the porcini. Her eyes half-closed, she nodded her approval to Yuki. The remaining tarts didn't last much longer.

  
Jaehee dabbed at her lips with her cloth napkin, brushing away any remaining pastry crumbs. "How do you know the chef here?"

  
Yuki took another sip of wine, wetting her mouth again after the appetizer course. "I met Anna back when I was living in New York."

  
"Was she working in a restaurant there?"

  
"Well, I first met her while she was still in culinary school. After that, she started working as a cook at a French restaurant in New York."

  
"I see. How did she end up here?"

  
"She just recently started here. She's only been in Seoul for a couple of weeks."

  
Jaehee was surprised. "That's a really big change. I'm guessing she's still learning the language?"

  
"Yes. She's doing surprisingly well with it, considering how short a time she's had to study. Though I did have to translate a little when Hyun and I picked her up at the airport."

  
"I'm guessing English is her first language?"

  
"Yes."

  
"I'll make sure to switch to English should I ever have the chance to meet her."

  
\---

  
The soup course arrived next: a thick, rich French onion. Caramelized onions suspended in the warm brown broth, and a thick slice of baguette, coated in Gruyere cheese, rested on top, soaking up the full flavor of the soup. If someone had told Jaehee that there was to be no main course, she would have been satisfied with just this. The soup was comfort food, plain and simple, its thick, beefy flavor warming her from head to toe.

  
"Have you and Zen made plans for the holidays?"

  
"My parents are flying in to see us. My mother CANNOT WAIT to meet Hyun. Every time I talk to her, she goes on and on about how she's so glad I met a nice boy, and what pretty babies we're going to have." Yuki sighed, shaking her head. "We're going to see Hyun's family too."

  
Jaehee's eyes widened. "Yuki! That's great!"

  
"We've been to see them once before. I was so nervous the whole time! They're...really trying to understand now. They lost him for so long...I think they're just happy to have him in their lives again."

Yuki smiled softly. "Anyway, what are your plans?"

  
Jaehee was quiet for a moment. "Mr. Han will be spending the holiday with his father, so I'll be getting a few days off. I'll probably go to see my parents, take them some flowers..."

  
Yuki's gaze softened, understanding her friend's meaning.

  
Jaehee noticed her concern, and sat up straighter, trying to adopt a more cheerful tone. "Anyway, I'm hoping to get a few days of good, uninterrupted rest!" She grinned broadly.

  
"Well, if you get bored, you're always more than welcome to come visit us."

  
"Thanks, Yuki. I'll keep that in mind."

  
Finally, the dish of the night arrived. A thick filet of beef was served to each woman, crusted with ground peppercorns and bathed in a buttery cream sauce. Hungry, Jaehee wasted no time slicing into the cut of meat, revealing its pink interior. Tasting the bite, she temporarily reached nirvana. The crust formed by the peppercorns held a pungent flavor, balanced by the meaty flavor of the high-quality steak. The sauce carried a hint of cognac, and the tanginess of butter-caramelized shallots. "I'm in heaven..." Jaehee murmured.

  
"Good lord. Goddamn," Yuki muttered back, shoving a second large bite of tender filet into her mouth.

  
They sat silently as they ate, their feast merely punctuated by the occasional sip of wine. Neither of them could seem to find the right words to describe the other-worldliness of the food. The waiter returned to the table to find two empty plates. Yuki had had to fight the temptation to lick the plate clean.

  
"Let me guess, you hated it," the waiter chuckled.

  
"Please give my compliments to the chef."

  
"If it's possible, please tell Anna that Yuki says hello."

  
"Oh! You know Chef Fredericks?"

  
"Yes. I knew her back when she was working in New York."

  
"I'll tell her that you're here. It's getting close to the end of the night, so she may be able to come out and talk for a few minutes."

  
Jaehee smiled. "That would be lovely."

  
\---

  
Anna had begun finishing up for the evening. Madeleine's was reservation-only on Friday nights, and all of the main courses had been sent out by this point. The restaurant's patissier would be responsible for dessert. One of the restaurant's waiters appeared at her side.

  
"Chef Fredericks, Miss Yuki and her guest have asked me to offer their compliments to you."

  
"Oh! I'm almost finished up here. Please tell them that I'll come out in a few with dessert."

  
The waiter nodded. "Certainly."

  
Anna finished tidying her station before wandering over to the patissier for desserts that had been prepared for Yuki and her friend, looking for the plate bearing the special birthday greeting written in chocolate sauce. She plucked a bottle of champagne from its rack, along with three glasses, and, carefully bearing her delicious burden, entered the dining room.

  
Yuki gave a goofy little wave, clearly intoxicated. "Hey."

  
"Good evening! I come bearing gifts!"

  
"I can see that! Anna, this is my friend, Jaehee Kang."

  
"I'm glad to meet you, Anna," Jaehee greeted in English.

  
"Likewise, Jaehee. And happy birthday!" She popped the cork of the champagne, pouring a glass for each woman. "My treat. And for dessert, a chocolate souffle accompanied by truffle and white chocolate ice cream."

  
Yuki shook her head. "This restaurant is so fancy, even the dessert comes with a side dish!"

  
Jaehee watched Anna as she pulled a chair from an empty table, struck by how very pretty Anna was. The golden undertones of her deep brown skin almost seemed to shimmer under the low lights, especially on the high points of her cheeks. Anna had removed her chef's hat when she exited the kitchen, and so a few errant curls of hair fell freely around her face, near her eyes, blue-green like sea glass.

  
Anna snuck a look at Jaehee as she sat down, crossing on checked-pants-clad leg over another. She was fully willing to admit that Jaehee was very cute. Short, perfectly-tousled brown hair, warm, amber-colored eyes, and... Anna very carefully trained her eyes to focus neck-up.

  
"I hope the meal was enjoyable."

  
"Oh, very!" Jaehee responded enthusiastically. "I loved the flavor combinations, how they complimented one another, how certain ingredients brought out others..."

  
"I'm glad to hear it! That's always my goal when preparing food. I don't just want to make dishes that taste good. I want to make complex pieces of art- art that can be eaten. Eating is a biological imperative; we might as well make it as pleasurable as we can."

  
"I'd say you succeeded," Jaehee smiled, swirling her glass of champagne.

  
Yuki stuffed chocolate souffle into her mouth, watching Anna and Jaehee chat back and forth about food. She hadn't known that Jaehee was so interested in the subject. Still, she was glad to have her two friends hitting it off. A curious idea came to her. In the moment, it seemed absurd, and Yuki almost had to laugh. _Now I know I've had too much to drink..._

  
"Well, I need to be getting back to the kitchen now."

  
"I'm glad I got to talk with you. I'd like to talk with you more sometime."

  
"If you like, we could meet for coffee tomorrow morning. I'm guessing we'll both be available, since it's a Saturday?"

  
Jaehee smiled. "It's a date!"

\---

A/N: Today (March 21) is Sun-Mi's birthday, and because I love drawing smut, I made her a very special [birthday pic](https://squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com/post/158682313201/do-you-know-this-when-i-look-at-your-cherry-red) :))))))))))

 


	32. Full of Surprises

This old computer monitor was simply not cutting it anymore, Seven had decided. Its standard-sized screen had served him well for years, but now, he wanted something larger. Of course, he could just double-screen it, but what Seven really wanted was to see more of his code on the screen at once. Purchasing a newer, larger screen was his best bet. He saved his progress on his current project, and opened his internet browser, navigating to the NewEdge website to troll for parts. He felt just a little bit guilty, using the old monitor to shop for its replacement.

  
Seven finally settled on a 35-inch ultra-wide model: LED back-lit, anti-glare, and a higher resolution than any other model available on the site. It carried a hefty price tag of $1300 USD, but that was no matter to him. This was nothing compared to Seven's auto purchases, typically averaging closer to 200 grand. Unfortunately, this particular monitor wouldn't ship for 15 to 20 days, and he tended to be an instant-gratification type of guy. If he wanted this item today (and he did), Seven would have to make a trip to see his friendly neighborhood electronics dealer.

  
He conducted a quick search to make sure there was a store in the city that actually carried that model, not wanting to waste time going on a wild goose chase. Exactly one store carried that specific item; a little shop across town specializing in high-performance parts. Seven slid into the Napa-leather seat of his favorite car, burning a little rubber as he peeled out of the underground garage. He drove with the windows down, wind whipping his hair about.

  
Arriving at the store, he crookedly jerked the vehicle into a space, right next to a little orange crotch-rocket motorcycle. He rolled up the windows, beeping the locks as he walked away. As it turned out, the store wasn't so little after all. No, this was computer heaven: two spacious floors full of the highest-quality parts. _I guess it's time to take out my wallet, drop my pants, and bend over._

  
For what had seemed to be such a promising store, it sure wasn't sensibly organized. No matter how long Seven stared at the store's directory, he couldn't seem to find the location for computer monitors. Would they be in the "desktop computer parts" section? The "computer accessories" section? Luckily, a helpful sales associate recognized his confusion, directing him upstairs, and to the back of the store. This store had not one, not two, but three long aisles of monitors, and, unfortunately, it seemed as though all of the different brands and types were mixed together with no rhyme or reason. It looked like Seven would be going on a scavenger hunt today.

  
There was one thing that he noticed right away, however. On the last aisle before the monitor section, a familiar shock of purple hair browsed away in the graphics card area, unaware of his presence. The woman turned her head to the side, revealing those same black wayfarer frames. It was the same woman from C &R, Seven was certain of this. She held two different boxes in her hands, eyebrows knitting together as she compared the specifications.

  
She looked up then, noting Seven's arrival, eyes flashing with recognition before she resumed her careful study of the products she held. Seven shook his head, remembering his reason for being here. _It's no matter to me._

  
He began a systematic sweep of the section, searching for his desired monitor, starting at the end of the aisle opposite the purple-haired woman, carefully examining each product he passed. _I'm sure it'll be on the very last aisle, but if I start there, it'll end up being up here..._ Seven moved closer and closer to her as he browsed, looking up occasionally, noting her activity. He hadn't thought about her much since she'd hacked into his computer, but now his curiosity had been piqued again.

  
Before he knew it, he was right behind her on the next aisle, peering over the top of the divider, trying to catch a glimpse of her considered purchase. Who was she? She clearly had to have some sort of high-level training to be able to get into Seven's system. No sort of visual clues seemed to jump out at him. Dyed hair, combat boots... _Do people really still wear galaxy print?_ Her left arm was tattooed to resemble a circuit board. _That's pretty cool, I guess._

  
"Are you planning on saying 'Hello,' or are you just going to stare at my ass all day?"

  
\---

  
Seven made his way around the aisle to stand beside her. "Fancy meeting you here."

  
"I've been wondering: why were you digging around in Director Han's computer, exactly?" This woman certainly didn't pull any punches.

  
"Just felt like messing around with a friend."

  
"Is that how you mess around with all of your friends? Breaking into their private computers?" The woman smirked, raising an eyebrow. "How exactly do you know Mr. Han, anyway?"

  
"We're involved with the same charity organization." This wasn't the full story, of course, but Seven was barely acquainted with this woman. He didn't even know her name.

  
The woman turned her head slightly to look at him. "Forgive me if this comes across as offensive, but...you don't exactly strike me as your everyday philanthropist."

  
Seven shrugged. "I'm full of surprises."

  
"What is it you do, exactly? Besides mess around with your friends?" the woman chuckled.

  
"I handle security for the organization's confidential files. That's it."

  
The woman set down the items she was holding, shaking her head and snickering quietly. She crossed her arms, looking Seven in the eyes. "That's bullshit."

  
Seven's eyes widened as he reeled back a little. "What makes you say that?" One corner of his mouth curled upward. "Have you been cyber-stalking me?"

  
She snorted. "Don't get too excited. I pulled some information, but only in the interest of company security."

  
He adjusted his glasses. _Yeah, right._

  
"You got a real name, _707_?"

  
"Don't you know already?"

  
The woman rolled her head from side to side. "Mmm...not yet. I didn't look that far." She leaned against the shelves, crossing one ankle over the other. "Though I have to admit, my curiosity is piqued."

  
"You dug far enough to find my online alias, but not my legal name?"

  
She shrugged. "Didn't need it. My interest was primarily in your online activities."

  
"You know who I am, my online name...Care to share your own? It's only fair that I know who's snooping around for my information." Seven crossed his arms.

  
She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, revealing multiple piercings. "Fair enough. You'll look it up anyway." She extended a hand. "Mina Park."

  
Seven clasped her hand in his own, repeating the name. "Mina..."

  
Mina picked up one of the boxes from before, placing the other back in its place. "Welp, I'll see you around." She turned and walked away, long, straight hair bouncing as she moved.

  
Seven stood there for a few moments, not quite sure what to think of the interaction. Mina Park certainly had a lot of information...information known by very few people other than himself. Could it be possible that Mina's skills rivaled his own? What exactly did she intend to do with this information? _Who are you working for, Mina?_

  
\---

  
New monitor buckled safely in the passenger seat, Seven slid back into his vehicle, mind still spinning with confusion. He needed more information about this "Mina Park" woman as soon as possible. At best, Mina was merely an employee of C &R, chosen for her high level of technological skill. At worst... The paranoid part of Seven's brain had to wonder if maybe...she might be operating undercover on behalf of Mint Eye.

  
Seven shook his head, trying to focus on the road. As he pulled back into the garage, he couldn't help feeling a little bit paranoid. If Mina Park could get into his computer, why couldn't she get a hold of his personal information, including the location of his home. He was on high alert as he re-entered his house.

  
After a solid hour of unwrapping his purchase and fiddling with the hook-up, Seven's new monitor was finally up and running, glowing happily. He retrieved a can of Ph.D Pepper from the fridge and a big bag of Honey Buddha Chips, and settled into his chair, placing his large headphones over his ears. It was about time he started sniffing around for the truth about Mina Park.

  
Fortunately, through his affiliation with the intelligence agency, Seven had easy access to a great wealth of information on nearly every person in the entire world. He opened the agency database, entering the keywords "Mina Park." After a moment, results appeared for more than one hundred individuals, from ages five months to eighty-seven years, in six different countries. _Too broad._ Seven filtered for individuals living in Seoul, South Korea, between the ages of twenty and thirty years old, with affiliations to C &R International, yielding only one result.

  
It was her alright. Mina Park, born January 12, 1993 in Seoul. She attended the Massachusetts Institute of Technology from 2009 to 2014, graduating summa cum laude with both a Bachelor's and Master's degree in Computer Science and Engineering, beginning her position with C&R immediately afterward.

  
_If you're got two degrees from MIT, why are you working as as an I.T. technician?_ Seven kept scrolling.

  
To anyone else, Mina would seem squeaky-clean. The agency's notes regarding her ties to several hacking groups told a different story.

  
It wasn't Mint Eye she was tied to, but rather, left-wing political groups, watchdog groups. The notes tied her to the hacking of the Eastboro Baptist Church's website, as well as the sites of other hate groups. Furthermore, Mina's online activity suggested staunch atheism. It seemed unlikely that she'd go anywhere near an extreme religious sect, other than maybe to undermine them. _I guess I'll trust you...for now..._

  
Seven crammed a handful of chips into his mouth. _Who exactly are you, Mina Park?_

_\---_

A/N: For more content related to this story, including progress updates, character info, and art, follow my [tumblr](http://www.squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com). I also reblog a fuck-ton of mm content and scream into the void.

 


	33. People Like Us

"And of course, I told my wife that I was going out of town for business. You know she wouldn't have been pleased with me if she knew I was golfing in Hawaii for two weeks. You know how women are..." The man tilted his head, receiving knowing smiles from his companions.

  
Sun-Mi frowned, wondering how she'd become involved in this asinine discussion. Not that she was really all that involved. At first, she'd attempted to contribute to a lively debate about foreign policy, but every time she began to speak, another sagging, old man spoke over her, and politeness dictated that she defer to the person currently speaking. The reality was that these men didn't want her to _actually_ speak. They wanted her there as a placeholder, a _look, we're talking with Mr. Dang's daughter!_

  
This was how her father's annual holiday party went every year, and every year, it was a chore for Sun-Mi. Every year, he would throw this needlessly extravagant party in his needlessly extravagant house, and every year, Sun-Mi would sit, more decoration than active participant, listening to old men's boring conversations about their golf games, and their boats, and even their mistresses. When she was a teenager, this had been the time of year when divorce papers began trickling in. Some old bastard would get too loose on her father's generous helpings of fine wine, and lose his filter in the process. Out of spite, Sun-Mi had started tipping off these men's wives regarding their infidelities, just for the drama of it all. Eventually, she got caught, her father started losing friends, and she'd had to stop.

  
These parties had become less loathsome once Sun-Mi reached drinking age, but only marginally. The parties continued to be overly lavish, old-boys-club get-togethers that ultimately ended in pissing matches over who had a bigger yacht, or whose mistress had better fake tits. Wine wasn't a miracle worker.

  
"And I say to her, 'Woman, how do you think I paid for your tummy tuck last year?!'"

  
The group of men guffawed at the expense of someone's poor wife who was probably right, not noticing (or caring) that Sun-Mi had spent the past hour staring into her wine glass, frowning. She took another sip of the red liquid inside, involuntarily grimacing at its bitter, dusty flavor. She'd had ten-dollar wine from a mini-mart that tasted better than this. Unfortunately, there wasn't a single person here who would dare drink "commoner" alcohol.

  
"Did you hear me, Miss Dang?"

  
"Hmm?" Sun-Mi jerked her head up to look at the man addressing her, his jowls vibrating as he spoke.

  
"You need to learn to listen better if you want to find a proper husband. As I was saying, when you get married someday, you must be sure to defer to your husband, if you want him to stick around."

  
Her lip curling, Sun-Mi waved him off. "I don't plan to marry."

  
"Pf-f-f-W-Why not?" he asked, incredulous.

 

_Because I don't want to spend the rest of my life stuck with someone like you._ "I'm not interested in marriage."

  
\---

  
Mr. Dang's holiday party had begun at 6:00 sharp, and, as the time neared 7:30, the affair was already well underway. Jumin was merely "fashionably late," but considering that he tended to be an "on-time" sort of man, he felt flustered by his delayed arrival. He hadn't known about this event until 5:00 pm, when his father had unexpectedly called and asked Jumin to attend in his place, as he seemed to be running a slight fever.

  
The town car stopped in front of a grand estate, much larger than the house Jumin had recalled from his childhood. The Dang family's wealth must have grown since then, allowing them to upgrade. A man in full coattails descended the front steps to open the car door, guiding Jumin to the entrance. It seemed that Mr. Dang was a bit of a Francophile, if the interior decor was any indication. Jumin walked through the mini-Versailles, following the sound of music and laughter coming from the parlor.

  
He entered the room, greeted by many men he had met before through his father, and they seemed delighted to have him present. A few of them appeared to be pretty far gone already, as indicated by their boisterous welcome. Toward the back of the room, Sun-Mi sat perched on a silk brocade chaise lounge, resplendent in an off-the-shoulder confection of deep green velvet. She looked miserable.

  
_You look like you need a stiff drink._ Jumin located the open bar, making his way over. "A glass of Merlot and a scotch, neat."

  
Sun-Mi sighed, staring off into space, trying to find something interesting to think about in order to keep herself entertained. Before she knew it, her wine glass was being plucked from her hand and replaced with a lovely glass of scotch.

  
"I think you'll like this much better."

  
Sun-Mi turned, shocked to see Jumin standing next to her. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. "I'll be stealing Miss Dang away from you now. Please excuse us." He linked his arm through hers, gently leading her away, her mouth still gaping open. The men began murmuring amongst themselves, speculating about her relationship with Jumin. Sun-Mi felt a hot blush beginning to creep into her face. She took a large sip of scotch. She knew what this looked like. _It absolutely is NOT like that!_

  
Jumin led her out onto the adjoining patio, where the outdoor fireplace blazed away. Sun-Mi plopped down onto a couch with an indignant _hmmph_ , turning her head away as her words returned. "I didn't need you to rescue me."

  
"A simple thank you would more than suffice."

  
Sun-Mi huffed. "Do you have any idea how arrogant you sound?"

  
"And here I thought you found me charming..."

  
Sun-Mi had to laugh. "Ha! Ha ha." She paused, shifting her gaze a little to the side. "I do want to thank you, though. For the flowers."

  
Jumin made an indignant noise, not quite able to look Sun-Mi in the face. He hadn't expected her to say anything about that, and he felt a little embarrassed by it. His heart fluttered slightly, for a reason he couldn't quite put his finger on. He waved her off. "Don't think anything of it. It's nothing."

  
"What are you doing here, anyway? I didn't know my father invited you." _Is he still trying to set us up?_

  
"I'm here in my father's place. He's ill."

  
"I'm sorry to hear that."

  
"I'm guessing you're only here out of obligation to your father as well. You looked pretty miserable in there." Jumin raised an eyebrow.

  
"If I looked miserable, it's because I was miserable. I hate these stupid parties." Sun-Mi crossed her arms, frowning.

  
Jumin sat down in the chair facing her. "From what little I actually know about you, it seems like something you might not like. What exactly about them do you dislike?"

  
"For starters, I can't stand the kind of people who show up to these things. No offense."

  
"None taken?"

  
"If I have to listen to one more crusty old man share his unwanted opinions about how women should look and act, I might blow my brains out." She rolled her eyes.

  
"Do they ever talk down to you?"

  
Sun-Mi chuckled. "Oh, yeah. And all they want to talk about are their dumb vacations, and their dumb material possessions, and what hot piece of ass they're banging this week."

  
Jumin nodded furiously in understanding, thinking of his father. "I don't understand why men like that can't..."

  
"Keep it in their pants?"

  
"That's one way to put it."

  
"I think what part of it is...It's the thrill of the chase. These men, they have everything they could ever want. They like the challenge of pursuing more and more beautiful women, because it IS still a challenge."

  
"Maybe. I think it's just the ease of access. When you have a lot of money, a lot of beautiful young women come sniffing around...that's what I always observed growing up."

  
Sun-Mi looked at him confused.

  
"My father...ah...has certain indiscretions."

  
"Oh." Sun-Mi took another sip of her scotch.

  
Noticing her discomfort, Jumin searched his brain for an alternative topic of conversation. "A-Anyway, what else do you hate about these parties?"

  
"Ugh, they're just so... _stuffy_. The food's not even good for how much it costs! All I want to do is go home, put on some comfortable clothes, and cuddle with my cat."

  
Jumin perked up. "You have a cat?"

  
"Yeah! You like them?"

  
Jumin slipped his phone out of his jacket pocket, showing off numerous photos of a lovely Persian cat. "This is Elizabeth the Third."

  
He swore he could see hearts in Sun-Mi's eyes. "She's beautiful!"

  
"Finally, someone who properly appreciates her. It seems like everyone I know either hates her, or loves her in the wrong way." He thought of Seven.

  
Sun-Mi wrinkled her nose. "Do I want to know what that means?"

  
"Do you remember the man who hacked into my computer at the office?"

  
"Yes."

  
"He's broken into my home on several occasions just to play with my cat."

  
Sun-Mi pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "He really has no concept of boundaries."

  
"Do you have photos of your cat?"

  
"Well of course!" Sun-Mi opened the photo album on her phone which she had dedicated to images of Choo-Choo. "Here's my boy!"

  
"He looks like he's wearing a little tuxedo! Is he a rescue?"

  
"Yes. I've had him since he was a kitten." She played a video of her cat trying (and failing) to jump from her bed onto her dresser, and Jumin laughed. "Yeah, he's not too bright."

  
"What's his name?"

  
"It's 'Choo-Choo.'"

  
Jumin snorted. "Really? Choo-Choo?"

  
"Yeah...Let me explain. Sometimes, when you try to name a cat, it won't necessarily respond to the name you pick. Some cats like to 'choose' their own names. When I brought the kitten home, I tried out several different names that I'd thought of. He didn't seem to like any of them." Sun-Mi shook her head. "I wound up throwing out different names, just to see. Still nothing. I thought to myself, _Maybe he's just stupid._ At that point, I was saying lots of different words at random, just to see if he'd respond to anything. Out of everything I'd said to him, he settled on 'Choo-Choo,' of all things." She shrugged. "It fits though. He's a very weird cat."

  
"How so?"

  
"He's just...bad at being a cat. He's always falling off of things and running into walls. He makes weird noises. He's just bizarre. I gotta love that silly cat. I always wanted one growing up."

  
"You didn't have pets growing up?"

  
"We had a dog, and that was all well and good. Dogs make nice pets, but I really loved cats. I couldn't have one, though, because my father has an allergy. Besides, cats love to knock things over. We had so much expensive decor..."

  
"Does Choo-Choo knock things over?"

  
Sun-Mi smirked. "What do you think? Luckily, I got so sick of looking at all that garish crap over the years that I don't have too many knick-knacks lying around. I've lost a couple of coffee mugs in cat-related incidents, but that's about it."

  
Jumin leaned back in his chair, resting his head in one hand. "You know, it still baffles me that you grew up in this environment. I didn't know for sure until our parents set us up."

  
"You say 'for sure.' Did you have suspicions?"

  
"I noticed little things, like the red soles of your shoes, your posture, the fact that you wear $300 perfume."

  
"Unfortunately, I do still have some expensive tastes."

  
"What's wrong with that? You appreciate quality."

  
"I just don't want to end up..." She gestured back toward the guests in the parlor. "...like them. Their lives seem so...empty. I don't want materialism to rule my existence."

  
"Being wealthy doesn't necessarily mean that you become materialistic."

  
"The temptation is always there, though, along with all the privilege and elitism... I don't want to go through life so focused on my wealth and lifestyle that I lose focus of what's happening in the real world. I want to stay grounded."

  
"I can understand that." Jumin tried not to be offended by Sun-Mi's difference of opinion. It was becoming clearer to him now, why she had felt such disdain for him. He epitomized everything she seemed to hate. _Do you still hate me now?_ At the very least, she seemed more civil toward him now, even if she continued to keep him at arm's length. 

  
"That's why, since high school, I've tried to gradually distance myself from my father's wealth. I made straight A's all throughout my high school career, so that I could go to college on scholarship, instead of having it paid for. When I graduated, my father offered me a job at his company, and I turned it down, and went to work for C&R instead. When I got promoted, it was because I had worked hard to earn it. I wanted to make sure that everything I have, I've worked my ass off to earn."

  
"If you get to the same place either way, does it matter how you got there? Isn't it more efficient to take the easiest path?"

  
"I guess...it just helps me sleep better at night. I'd personally rather be just a normal person."

  
"You're not normal, though. The mere circumstances of your birth guarantee that you'll never be totally average."

  
Sun-Mi nodded. "That's the problem. I feel uncomfortable in this environment, but I don't quite fit in with everyone else due to my difference of experience. It's like I'm caught between two worlds, not fully belonging to either."

  
"In some ways I agree with you. People like us have our own unique set of difficulties."

  
_People like us..._ "Like what?"

  
"It's more difficult to tell if those close to us genuinely like who we are, or if they like our money."

  
"You're telling me!" Sun-Mi snorted. "That's one of the biggest reasons I'm not married!"

  
Jumin threw his hands up. "Exactly!" _Wait...'_ one _of the biggest reasons?' What on earth does that mean?_ "Miss Dang..."

  
"I think you can drop the formalities now, Jumin. I think at this point, we can be on a first-name basis. Call me 'Sun-Mi.'"

  
_Sun-Mi..._


	34. A Night Off

Anna couldn't remember the last time she'd had a Saturday evening off. Friday and Saturday nights always tended to be the busiest times of the week in the restaurant industry, and Anna would spend her weekends hard at work. This particular weekend was different, however. Yuki had invited her to her charity organization's holiday party, and Anna wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to relax and enjoy the company of a good friend.

  
She supposed that Jaehee was her friend now, too. They'd hit it off when Yuki'd brought her to Madeleine's for a birthday dinner, and had met for coffee the next morning so that they could continue their conversation. For three hours straight they'd sat and talked, downing latte after cappuccino after macchiato. They'd been so caught up in a little world all their own, they scarcely noticed the passage of time.

  
Jaehee had been researching coffee for a recent work project, and had taken quite an interest in it, rehashing all of the details of how it was grown, different roasting methods, preparation techniques, and various coffee recipes to Anna. Anna knew some things about the subject from her time in culinary school, but, as she had listened to Jaehee enthuse about her new interest, it was if Anna was learning about it for the first time. She had listened, rapt, watching as Jaehee's face lit up and she moved her hands excitedly as she spoke.

  
Anna carefully unraveled the hot rollers from her hair, twisting it with her fingers and setting it in place with little squirts of hairspray. She smoothed down the little baby hairs framing her face and looked into the mirror, smiling as she fluffed the full curls, admiring the style. It would look lovely with the gown she had chosen for the evening. Anna slipped the dress off of its hanger, the slinky, gold fabric shimmering under the vanity lights. Once it was on, she twirled a little from side to side, watching the full skirt flounce about.

  
Dizzy snorted, watching from the doorway, and Anna went over to scoop him up in her arms, dancing around with him a little, humming a made-up tune. "I wish I could take you with me! You'd make such a handsome date." Dizzy wheezed in response.

  
\---

  
Jaehee stared into the mirror, praying that the dress she had purchased for the party would be appropriate. Her entire chest area was covered by fabric, but above the dress's silk cups, she was covered only by sheer, black chiffon. A decent amount of cleavage remained visible. Jaehee snapped a picture and sent it to Yuki, asking her opinion. "Do you think this is appropriate?"

  
"Absolutely. Why?" was her response.

  
"Not too much cleavage?"

  
"Uhh...No?? I think it's fine."

  
"Okay, if you're sure..."

  
"If anyone says anything, you can blame me, okay?"

  
Jaehee put her phone down, taking another look at her dress, made of black silk, its chiffon halter neckline, its satiny ribbon belt. She knew it looked good on her. _I guess sometimes you just have to take a chance..._

  
The alarm on her phone sounded. _Is it that time already?_ Jaehee hurried after her shoes, still in their box. She hoped they wouldn't rub her feet too badly.

  
\---

  
Despite her long jaunt across town to the venue, Jaehee still managed to be one of the first RFA members to arrive. Only Yuki and Zen had beat her there.

  
Yuki lowered her cell phone from her ear, holding her hand over the mouthpiece. "Hyun, the caterer is here. Please meet them out back to direct them to the kitchen area."

  
"Yes, _jagiya_."

  
Jaehee sidled up next to Yuki, who chewed on the end of her pen, staring intently at a final checklist. She was already dressed to the nines, in a shimmering, v-neck ball gown the color of gunmetal. "Do you have the guest list for me?"

  
"Oh, yeah." Yuki shuffled through her papers, locating the list and handing it to Jaehee along with a radio headset. "I guess you know the drill by now?"

  
"Yes. Is there anything else I can do in the meantime?"

  
"Not really. I think everything's been taken care of...A/V equipment, entertainment, decor, food...All we're waiting on now is the rest of RFA."

  
"I still can't believe you pulled all of this together in two months..." Jaehee sighed, incredulous.

  
"Yeah, well, when your focus is ACTUAL charity work, and not putting together a sociopathic religious cult, it's easier to get things done," Yuki muttered darkly.

  
"I should have worn a hat," Seven quipped as he entered the room, taking a seat next to the two women, "I didn't realize how chilly it would be here with all of this shade."

  
Jaehee lowered her voice. "By the way, has there been any activity lately...from Mint Eye, I mean?"

  
Seven adjusted his glasses, adopting a more serious tone. "I mean, they're still out there, doing their thing, but...from what I can tell, they've stopped targeting us. For now at least. I can't guarantee that something won't happen in the future, but it seems that they're not currently a threat to RFA."

  
They were silent for a bit, the cheery atmosphere dampened a bit by such an unpleasant topic. Fortunately, they were distracted from the subject when Jumin arrived, grumbling back and forth with Zen, who had returned after assisting the caterer.

  
"Assistant Kang, you'll need to get into place, as the guests will be arriving soon." He looked at Jaehee as he spoke, but didn't mention (or even seem to notice) her choice of attire.

  
_Phew._ Then again, it wasn't all that surprising that he wouldn't notice. Jumin had been a little...off...all week, ever since he'd attended some holiday party in his father's place. Jaehee went off to find her normal spot, just inside the venue's front doors. Out of consideration, Yuki had set up a space heater nearby, so that Jaehee wouldn't freeze each time the door was opened.

  
Right on cue, cars began to pull into the circular driveway. It seemed that this party would be even more populous than the last. Jaehee glanced at the list, recognizing a fair number of names from the last event, sprinkled among some new ones. As the guests trickled in, Jaehee crossed them off dutifully, directing them toward the coat check.

  
Eventually, Yuki came back around, touching Jaehee on the arm to get her attention. "Go on in to the party. I'll take over here."

  
"Oh, it's alright. I can finish up here."

  
Yuki waved her off. "No, you go and have fun." She nudged Jaehee to toward the main hall.

  
Jaehee grinned. "Well...if you're sure..."

  
Her stomach growled. It was well past seven now, and Jaehee hadn't eaten since noon. She made her way through the crowded party, headed for the buffet tables. _Should I have steak, lobster, prawns...maybe I'll do a surf 'n' turf..._ Jaehee picked up a plate from the stack at the end of the table, looking over her options.

  
She felt a soft tap on her shoulder, and she turned to find Anna, who had arrived almost as soon as Jaehee changed shifts with Yuki. She looked lovely, having traded her bulky chef's attire for a flowy, gold dress. "Surprise."

  
"Anna! I'm glad you were able to come!"

  
Anna snuck a look at Jaehee, feeling a bit wolfish as she did so. Jaehee was dressed in another pretty dress, this one black, instead of red, and a little more conservative. Still, it fit her nicely, black silk swaying around her hips as she moved. "Let's get something to eat."

  
They filled their plates and took a seat at a nearby table after making a stop by the bar. "You know, this is the first time I've gotten to really enjoy the party."

  
Anna seemed confused. "How do you mean?"

  
"I joined this organization after being employed by one of the existing members. I'm his chief secretary, so I ended up working during the previous parties."

  
"Really? Where is he? Can you point him out?" Anna asked, craning her neck to scan the room.

  
Jaehee pointed to Jumin, chatting with a guest about 20 meters away. "That's him."

  
"The squirrelly-looking fellow?"

  
Jaehee cracked a smile. "I've never heard that phrase before, but it sounds totally accurate."

  
\---

  
After a particularly satisfying dinner, Anna dragged Jaehee to the dance floor, despite her protests. A bouncy, upbeat jazz number filled the room, and Anna took one of Jaehee's hands in her own, twirling her away, and then back again. Jaehee had never been too much of a dancer herself, as she felt a little too self-conscious out on the floor. Now, however, it seemed like her inhibitions were fading away. She didn't think she'd drunk _that_ much.

  
Anna spun her around the room, having the time of her life. She loved a good party, especially if it allowed her the opportunity for a spin on the dance floor. She turned Jaehee round and round, both of them giggling as she did.

  
After all, the key to dancing was having the right partner.

\---

A/N: So sorry about the short chapter this time. I had a killer case of writer's block on this one. 

ALSO: As of today, I have officially caught up posting every chapter I've written. From here on out, I'll be posting chapters as I complete them. You can expect new chapters every two or three days. It'll occasionally be four days, because of who I am as a person. Generally, you can expect, on average, three chapters each week.


	35. Messy

The Uver driver beeped his horn in irritation at all of the cars around him who had elected to drive at the speed of smell. It didn't matter. Traffic was bound to be horrendous on New Year's Eve, and Mina had anticipated this when she made the reservation for her and Sun-Mi's ride. Mina scrolled through her social media feeds as she and her best friend passed a stainless steel flask back and forth, becoming increasingly mellow. They hadn't planned to show up to the party already drunk, but as the downtown traffic continued to crawl, the odds of that happening increased exponentially.

  
It had been Mina's idea to crash Mr. Han's New Year's party. Normally, she wouldn't consider such a risky act, as it could very well put both of their jobs on the line. However, since Sun-Mi had shared with her what had happened at her father's holiday party, and the fact that Mr. Han now knew Sun-Mi's high societal status, it seemed that the two of them could get away with this. When Mina had first proposed the idea, Sun-Mi had been appalled, concerned about the damage it could do to both of their reputations. She didn't seem too fond of Mr. Han, but she sure did seem to enjoy fucking with him. Mina had argued that this would be an excellent way to go about doing that. Sun-Mi had seemed a little more open to the idea after that.

  
Mina didn't share the fact that this event would provide her with ample opportunity to tease Sun-Mi about her tenuous relationship with Mr. Han.

  
Sun-Mi passed the flask back to Mina again, and Mina downed a sizable sip. She couldn't understand why scotch was Sun-Mi's drink of choice. It tasted like lighter fluid. Not that Mina had ever tasted lighter fluid...but she knew it couldn't be much more acrid than this. "So. You gonna kiss Mr. Han at midnight?"

  
Sun-Mi wrinkled her freckled nose. "No way. Why would you even ask a question like that? Gross."

  
"Aww, come on, give Daddy some sugar," Mina teased, lowering her voice to a comical tone as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

  
"You're drunk!" Sun-Mi shoved Mina playfully. "That's disgusting!"

  
Mina cackled wildy. "Can I be your Maid of Honor at the wedding?"

  
"MINA!!"

  
Eventually, their Uver made it past the accident that had caused so much difficulty. It seemed that someone's New Year's celebration had started a little bit too early, and unfortunately, they were now paying the price by spending the beginning of the new year in the drunk tank at the police station. They'd have the whole night to figure out how they would pay for the damages to their vehicle. Both Mina and Sun-Mi were now very grateful for the existence of ride-sharing services. They planned on getting very, very intoxicated tonight.

  
\---

  
After another twenty, thirty minutes, the car finally arrived in front of a tall residential building. Mina could see lights on the rooftop, illuminating Mr. Han's celebration. She and Sun-Mi stepped out of the vehicle, doing their best not to wobble in their tall heels. They teetered into the building and into the elevator, smashing the button for the penthouse.

  
The elevator climbed slowly, the digital numbers on its screen increasing floor by floor, until it reached the building's apex. The two women stepped out of the lift slowly, met by Mr. Han's security guards.

  
"Oh! Miss Dang! Good evening," the head of security greeted. He gestured to Mina. "Name please?"

  
"Oh, she's with me." Sun-Mi laid her hand on Mina's shoulder.

  
"Very well." The guard waved them on through, directing them to an external door leading to the rooftop. It seemed that Sun-Mi's wealthy status had at least one upside, even if she did not admit it. Now that Mr. Han knew the truth about her upbringing, she basically had free reign, within reason, to do as she pleased. As long as she didn't go _too_ far, the C &R Board of Directors wouldn't dare terminate her employment.

  
A particularly beefy bodyguard opened the door for them, and they crossed the threshold into the party. For a New Year's celebration, it hadn't gotten too raucous yet. Roughly fifty to sixty people mulled about, chatting, laughing, drinking, while a DJ at the center of the crowd provided the lively atmosphere. Ambient lighting came from long strings of globe lights, and from portable outdoor flame heaters, placed about the perimeter to keep Mr. Han's guest warm on the frigid winter night.

  
Mina and Sun-Mi walked toward the crowd, Mina tugging at her stretchy, high-waisted miniskirt to make sure it covered her butt. There wasn't really anyone here that she'd particularly want to flash. She looked over at Sun-Mi, who suddenly seemed a little self-conscious in the tight blue dress Mina had convinced her made her ass look phenomenal. Mina nudged her. "You good?"

  
Sun-Mi held her arms flush against her sides. "I don't normally wear stuff this tight. It makes my hips look huge."

  
Mina snorted. "Are you kidding? A big butt is a good thing! It's analogous to having big boobs."

  
"The two of us together make the perfect woman," Sun-Mi quipped, a sly grin on her mouth.

  
As they passed the open bar, Sun-Mi noticed that the bartender was otherwise occupied pouring drinks for Mr. Han's assistant, and another woman that neither she nor Mina recognized. Acting quickly, she smoothly snatched two bottles of champagne, making a "shh" gesture to the two women. Assistant Kang's companion looked amused.

  
Sun-Mi dragged Mina into the crowd, passing her one of the bottles. She ripped the black foil off of her own bottle, popping the cork out with a hollow _tunk_. She put the green glass to her lips and tilted her head back, chugging the contents for a solid ten seconds before she came up for air. She clinked the base of her bottle against Mina's. "Cheers, bitch."

  
Mina's face lit up. She knew that they would be getting messy tonight, but she hadn't anticipated that Sun-Mi would go this hard this fast. This would be very fun indeed. She busted open her own champagne, attempting to match Sun-Mi's tempo. She honestly didn't know if she could. "Maybe we should pace ourselves a little."

  
"I never acted out in college. I've gotta make up for it now." She lifted the bottle to her lips once more.

  
\---

  
It was at that moment that Mr. Han happened to walk by, doing a double-take as he recognized Sun-Mi in her skin-tight dress, drinking straight from the $200 bottle. He turned on the ball of his foot, speedwalking as he made a beeline toward the two women. "Sun-Mi?!"

  
_They're on a first-name basis now?_

  
Mr. Han took Sun-Mi by the arm and led her away, clearly concerned by her behavior, leaving Mina by herself in the middle of the crowd. She watched as the two exchanged a few words back and forth. Mr. Han didn't seem angry, just...confused. Maybe a little bit worried. Maybe a little bit...flustered? Mina's lips curled into a little grin. She took another sip of champagne.

  
"What's going on with those two?"

  
Mina turned to see 707 standing beside her, looking surprisingly dapper in a well-tailored button-up shirt. "I didn't know you'd be here."

  
"I was about to say the same thing to you."

  
"You're not the only one with a playful side, 707. We're crashing this party." She offered him a sip from her bottle, which he accepted.

  
Seven watched for a few minutes as Jumin interacted with Mina's friend, the other woman he had seen when he hacked into Jumin's computer. He scratched the side of his head and adjusted his glasses. "What's the story with..." he waved his hand in Jumin's direction. "...that?"

  
Mina sniffed. "I'm not quite sure. Sun-Mi's-my friend's-father, and Mr. Han's father, set them up on a matchmaking date recently. It didn't go well. Then, she saw him again, a couple of weeks ago, at her father's holiday party. It's an...odd situation. I don't quite understand it myself." Mina took another long drink. "She claims to not be too fond of him."

  
"Jumin did seem a little distracted...a little...off...last week." 707 rubbed his chin.

  
From a distance, they could see Jumin lay his hand on Sun-Mi's arm gently as he spoke to her. Seven raised an eyebrow. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

  
"I think so. I've got a newsflash for you, though. She's a real slow mover."

  
"I've got a flash right back for you. She's in there with the champ."

  
\---

  
As it turned out, Sun-Mi had indeed gone too hard too fast. As her conversation with Mr. Han ended, she turned to walk away, falling flat on her ass in the process. Both Mina and Mr. Han rushed to her aid, Mr. Han kneeling down to take Sun-Mi by her little hands and pull her to her feet as she laughed maniacally at her silly mistake. He wrapped her arm around her middle to support her, and carefully walked her toward Mina, who met them halfway.

  
"Miss Park, please take Sun-Mi inside to sober up a little bit." He gestured to the sliding glass doors leading into his penthouse. "The passcode for the door is 032191, and there is a guest bathroom adjoining the living room. You might should try to get her to eat something."

  
"Sssssaaaaall goooood. I'm gooooood," Sun-Mi slurred. She was clearly not good.

  
"Come on, drunkie." Mina slid her arm around her idiot friend, replacing Mr. Han's, and leading her toward the penthouse. _Please don't puke on Mr. Han's expensive carpet._ She punched in the passcode and slid the glass door aside. Sun-Mi's head rolled against her shoulder. _Please don't puke. Please don't puke._ "Do you feel nauseous?"

  
"Nooooo...I ga gota the baffroom."

  
"Okay, okay. Let's go."

  
While Mina waited for Sun-Mi to finish up in the bathroom ("Make sure you wash your hands when you're done."), she crossed paths once more with Assistant Kang and her friend from before.

  
"Is Miss Dang alright?" Assistant Kang asked, pointing to the closed door.

  
"She'll be okay. She just went a _little_ too hard."

  
"She should eat something," Assistant Kang's friend commented.

  
"I'll go get some crackers." Assistant Kang hurried off to the refreshments table.

  
Her friend stayed behind, clearly concerned about Sun-Mi, though they had never met before. "My name is Yuki, by the way."

  
"Mina." Mina gestured toward the bathroom door with her thumb. "That's Sun-Mi."

  
"How much did she drink?"

  
"I'd say...a couple of shots worth of scotch before we got here, and then a whole bottle of champagne."

  
"Over how long a period of time? We need to make sure she doesn't get alcohol poisoning."

  
"We were in the car for about and hour...and then she drank the champagne in less than thirty minutes."

  
Yuki's mouth fell open. "No matter what, we need to keep her awake. We'll get her to throw up if we have to." As if on cue, they could hear a retching sound coming from the bathroom. "Well, that's good. She'll sober up more quickly now. I'll text Jaehee to get her a glass of water."

  
Mina knocked on the door. "Sun-Mi, are you okay in there?"

  
"...nooooo..."

  
"Okay, I'm coming in." She opened the door and stepped into the bathroom, sitting down on the floor next to her sick friend, who knelt in front of the toilet, rubbing her back. Yuki stepped in as well, squatting down to talk to Sun-Mi.

  
"You're gonna be alright. Jaehee went to get you some water and some crackers, okay?" Sun-Mi nodded weakly.

  
"I'm feeling a lot better now."

  
"I'm sure you are." Yuki reached into her bag and retrieved a stick of mint-flavored gum. "Here. Chew on this. It'll get the taste out of your mouth."

  
Together, Yuki and Mina helped Sun-Mi to her feet, leading her to the living room couch to sit down. Jaehee returned with a plate of crackers and a glass of water. "This is all you'll be drinking for the rest of the evening."

  
"What a way to start the new year," Sun-Mi muttered, lifting the plastic cup to her lips.

  
\---

  
Zen was beginning to feel concerned. Yuki had gone inside with Jaehee for a bathroom break, and she'd been gone for close to an hour now. He made his way around the party, looking for her. _Maybe she's still inside?_ Yuki had been drinking pretty hard before that. _Maybe she laid down for a few minutes and accidentally fell asleep._ He went to find Jumin.

  
"Hey, Mr. Trust Fund. Can you let me inside? I'm looking for Yuki."

  
"You could ask a little more nicely, but yes, I'll let you in." Jumin followed him to the sliding glass doors and punched in the code, allowing him inside.

  
It seemed that Yuki and Jaehee had made some new friends. Four women sat in a line on the carpeted floor, braiding one another's hair. A woman with purple hair sat at the front of the line, cradling that furball in her arms.

  
Yuki looked up at him, beaming. "Babe! Can we do your hair next?"


	36. Care

\---

Jumin had begun to grow weary of entertaining his guests. Very few of the people in attendance were people whose company he actually enjoyed. Most were more well-acquainted with his father, and inviting them to a party, getting them liquored up, was good for business. The only people he'd truly been happy to see tonight were his fellow RFA members, and well...he supposed Sun-Mi wasn't all that bad either. A month before, he would have been horrified to see her here, but now...they had an understanding.

  
It was strange, however, disconcerting, even, to see her so heavily intoxicated, to the point where she couldn't even walk on her own. Before, she'd always appeared so buttoned-up, so proper. Sun-Mi didn't seem like a party girl. Why tonight? It had to have been Miss Park's doing, Jumin decided.

  
Hours had passed since he'd sent them indoors, and he hadn't seen them since. Perhaps they had gotten sidetracked by Elizabeth. Maybe Sun-Mi had curled up to cuddle her, and had fallen asleep. _Cute...Wait, no._ Just as he was considering this possibility, Sun-Mi and Miss Park re-emerged, accompanied by Assistant Kang and Yuki, with Zen bringing up the rear, urging the group back outdoors. _It's like he's herding cats._

  
Sun-Mi seemed more lively now, almost sober. She walked without wobbling, and the life had returned to her deep blue eyes. She stood in a tight cluster with Miss Park, Yuki, Assistant Kang, and Zen, participating fully in what appeared to be an intense discussion about arts and crafts. Sun-Mi's eyes gleamed with energetic interest.

  
She and Miss Park had entered his penthouse alone, but now they had become part of a little group, formed over a mere couple of hours. _What in the world happened in there?_ Jumin's mind burned with questions. How had Sun-Mi managed to sober up so quickly? How had Yuki and Assistant Kang become involved? Jumin shrugged. Perhaps there were some things that he would never understand.

  
He did hope that Sun-Mi was alright.

  
Jumin argued with himself back and forth, trying to decide if he should find out. Truthfully, he did actively want to know. On the other hand, he'd already checked on her once before, and he didn't want to be _that guy_. But...wasn't it the polite thing to do, checking on a guest who had previously been having...difficulties? After all, Jumin had been raised to be a gentleman...

  
He slipped over the the group, gently laying two fingers against the soft skin of Sun-Mi's arm. "Sun-Mi, may I speak with you for a moment?"

  
\---

  
"I'll be back in a few moments." Sun-Mi accompanied him to a quiet spot about twenty meters away. "What is it?"

  
Jumin spoke quietly, his voice just a little above a whisper. "Are you doing okay now?" He was certain that his concern was evident in his eyes, and he could feel a little worry line forming between them.

  
"Yes, I'm fine now. Thank you."

  
"Is there anything you need? Water? Medicine?"

  
"I'm quite all right. Jaehee brought me some water and something to eat. I'm not going to be drinking anymore tonight." Sun-Mi crossed her arms and cast her eyes to the side, looking a little embarrassed by her behavior from before.

  
Jumin rubbed the side of his head. "I don't know what you were thinking, drinking like that. What you did was very dangerous." He fiddled with his shirt sleeve, going just a tiny bit pink. "I'm glad you're alright now, but please don't do that again in the future. Please take care of yourself."

  
Sun-Mi turned a little red. "Don't worry about me." This side of Jumin confused her, and she felt a bit uncomfortable with it. His spiteful side was at least predictable. This...softer side...made no guarantees. She couldn't be sure how he would react to things when he was like this. Besides, this behavior out of him seemed weird...out of character for someone who had before raised his voice like a petulant child and gone well out of his way to humiliate her in front of her colleagues.

  
"Just...be careful." Jumin coughed, turning away, his typical haughty expression returning. He waved her off. "That will be all. You can go now."

  
" _Tch._ It's not like I needed your permission." Sun-Mi turned and stalked away, much like a cat who has had quite enough of its master's affections. _At least be consistent. Jeez._ Jumin was gentle one minute, and moody the next, and Sun-Mi had no idea how to handle it. _He probably doesn't even know how to handle himself._

  
\---

  
Though he didn't quite feel as though he'd be welcome in the little circle, Jumin continued to observe from a distance, sipping on a glass of wine, leaning discreetly against a wall. Sun-Mi excused herself momentarily, making her way over to the bar area. _I thought you said you wouldn't be drinking any more tonight._ To Jumin's relief, the bartender merely handed her a can of diet soda. To Jumin's chagrin, the man who had been served just before Sun-Mi seemed to take a shine to her. He struck up a conversation with her, and she didn't seem to mind.

  
While he didn't appear to be acting inappropriate with her, his intentions were clear. Jumin could see the way the man looked at her, the way he talked with her. It was possible that Sun-Mi was merely obliging him, but from this distance, Jumin couldn't be sure. The man said something, and Sun-Mi laughed. The hair stood up on the back of Jumin's neck. She smiled, and he felt sick.

  
Jumin wasn't well-acquainted with this man, but he did know a little bit about him through his father. He was new money, some up-and-coming defense attorney in an ill-fitting suit. According Chairman Han, this man tended to frequent his fair share of strip clubs. In other words, he was a schmuck. _She's too good for him._

  
As the man leaned against the bar, continuing to talk, Sun-Mi suddenly seemed very stiff and uncomfortable. She said something, gesturing back to her friends. As she turned to leave, the man grabbed her arm. Sun-Mi jerked it away, and Jumin could faintly make out the words "Don't touch me." The man stood up straight, an angry facial expression replacing the sleazy one from before. Jumin narrowed his eyes. How dare such a pitiful, insignificant man behave this way toward _his_ Sun-Mi.

  
_Wait..."MY" Sun-Mi?_ Jumin shook his head. He clearly wasn't thinking straight. Perhaps he'd drunk too much. _There's absolutely NO WAY I'm jealous...That's ridiculous._

  
The man leaned forward, whispering something in Sun-Mi's ear. She sneered, reeling back before slapping him hard across the face, the loud _POP_ echoing through the party. The crystal wine glass fell from Jumin's hand, shattering on the concrete roof. The entire party went silent, save for the music which continued to play as if nothing had happened. The man stood frozen for a moment, processing what had just happened, before slowly straightening back up, hissing through his teeth.

  
"You. Little. Bitch." He grabbed Sun-Mi by her wrists. Both Yuki and Miss Park had kicked off their shoes, sprinting across the roof.

  
Jumin beat them to him, decking the man square in the face. A loud, wet crack was audible as his nose dislocated. He fell backward, his eyes rolling back as he passed out from the pain. Sun-Mi gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. Jumin turned to look at her as his security guards dragged the man away. She was shaking, almost looking like she might cry. _She's so frightened..._ Jumin laid his hands on her shoulders to steady her. "Are you okay?" _I won't let anyone hurt you._

  
She nodded slowly. He turned her and led her back toward her friends, arm curled protectively around her shoulders. Sun-Mi relaxed a little at the contact, though she still appeared anxious. "Thank you," she whispered. Jumin could only grunt in return, color rising in his face. Slowly, the party began to resume, a little more shaken than before. Stiffer drinks were ordered now.

  
\---

  
Jumin was very upset, Yuki realized. She raised an eyebrow, stepping away for a few moments. She went over to him, crossing her arms and tilting her head. "What's going on, Jumin?"

  
"Nothing. Nothing is going on." He brushed off her question as if it were an annoying insect.

  
"I don't believe that."

  
"I didn't like the way that man was acting toward Sun-Mi." He sniffed, turning his head away.

  
It started to come together in Yuki's mind. She straightened her back, a knowing grin on her face. "Okay, then. So I take it you'll be kissing her at midnight?"

  
Jumin turned to her, genuinely shocked. "Why would I do that?"

  
"Mmmm...because you like her?"

  
"I most certainly do not." He couldn't believe that Yuki would ask such an asinine question. Sun-Mi was merely the daughter of a close friend of his father's. He did not have feelings for her, especially romantic ones. It was silly to even consider it. His stomach turned over at the mere thought.

  
"Sure." Yuki turned and strutted away, chuckling to herself.

  
"I don't!"

  
Jumin could see Yuki whispering something to Zen, who gave him a funny look. They both looked very amused with the whole thing. _Please don't say anything to Sun-Mi! You don't even know what you're talking about!_ It was NOT like that at all. Jumin had absolutely no interest in Sun-Mi...or in kissing her...or... Jumin shook his head, clearing his mind. Luckily, midnight was only a minute away, and now, he could drink as much as he liked, and forget this entire bizarre evening.


	37. Keratoplasty

V's lips formed a thin line as his stomach tied itself in knots. The day of his transplant had finally arrived, along with all the anxieties he had about this course of action. He wasn't just nervous about having an operation. That was a normal fear to have. On the contrary, most of V's discomfort came from what this symbolized, what it meant. To reverse the damage to his eyesight was to admit that something was wrong, that what Rika had done was wrong. To have his injuries repaired was to acknowledge that he had been abused. This surgery...made it real.

  
By having this procedure, V also symbolically cut the final thread tying him to Rika. Despite everything that had happened, it wasn't easy to let go. In a lot of ways, it had been so much easier to pretend that everything was fine, that Rika really did love him, but that she just had a complicated way of showing it. This separation couldn't very well be explained away as "irreconcilable differences." Rather, it very clearly outed him as a victim.

  
The therapist he had been seeing often used the word "survivor," but V didn't exactly know how he felt about that terminology. To him, "survivor" implied that he'd actively fought his way out of the harmful situation. Truthfully, he'd hung around way longer than was healthy. In some ways, he blamed himself for what had happened, despite his therapist's insistence to the contrary. He'd tolerated everything so passively for such a long time that it was second-nature now. V wasn't assertive anymore. The years of emotional abuse had conditioned him to be submissive, and relearning behavior that contradicted that proved difficult. It seemed that V had forgotten how to do anything for himself.

  
As he sat waiting for Jumin's driver to pick him up, he tried to make peace with the fact that there was no going back now. He'd made this decision, and he needed to see it through. If he were honest with himself, V genuinely did want to get better, to be a happy person again. He genuinely did want to have his eyesight restored so that he could return to his art. It was just difficult to get to a place where he could admit this, and where he could force himself to act on these desires.

  
The hardest part was over now. At this point, actually going through with his commitment was nerve-wracking, but ultimately the easiest route. Now that people knew that he was doing this, he had no desire to back out. V was a people pleaser by nature, and the past few years had only solidified that trait in him. He'd run into Kat again a few weeks prior, and he'd told her about his plans, knowing that the more people he told, the more likely he was to follow through. "I'm so happy, so proud of you!" she'd said, laughing. The pleased tone of her voice had been an intense endorphin rush that V had clung to ever since.

  
\---

  
V chewed on his bottom lip nervously, leaning his head against the car window. Jumin sat next to him, having taken the day off to accompany his friend to the hospital.

  
"Are you feeling nervous?"

  
"A little."

  
"I'll be waiting the whole time. Dr. Kim is the best of the best. I promise everything will be fine."

  
"I know."

  
They were quiet after that, V trying to relax and avoid thinking about what the day held for him, and Jumin responding to a few business emails. V jiggled his leg axiously, his brain beginning to fixate on everything that could potentially go wrong. He tried to convince himself that, worst case scenario, the surgery wouldn't help, and he would wind up with the same prognosis as before. Best case scenario, his vision would be restored, though he would probably need to wear corrective lenses. Even if everything went completely wrong, it couldn't get worse. V had nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

  
However, he really did want the operation to work. He wanted to be able to see again. For the first time, he felt sick at the idea of his vision loss being permanent. _I guess you don't know what you really want until it's happening._ The fruitful life promised by recovery had become very attractive to V. He didn't want to get his hopes up too much, but he couldn't help fantasizing a little. He was willing to be a little naive if it relieved his anxiety even slightly.

  
Driver Kim let them out in front of the hospital before going to find a parking space. Jumin checked the directory for the optical surgery unit, where they would be meeting Dr. Kim today. Before, they'd met in the Doctor's own office, when he'd examined V's eyes, and explained the procedure.

  
After V was anesthetized, Dr. Kim would remove the damaged corneas with a cookie-cutter type of tool. V had shuddered at the idea, but had been assured that he wouldn't see or feel any of it. After the defunct parts were removed, he'd cut the donor tissue in much the same way, to make a perfect fit, and then he'd suture it into place. Keratoplasty, Dr. Kim explained, was much simpler than an organ transplant, as the corneal tissue held no blood vessels. For this reason, this type of transplant carried a much lower risk of rejection. V wouldn't even have to use immunosuppressants.

  
V and Jumin made their way up to the fifth floor, locating the reception desk for Optical Surgery. The receptionist marked down their arrival and handed V some release forms to fill out while he waited in an nearby exam room. He'd need to have his vitals checked before he could be given anesthesia.

  
Dr. Kim came into the exam room as the nurse recorded V's blood pressure, slightly elevated from stress. "Today's the big day. Are you ready?"

  
V managed a nervous smile. "As ready as I'm going to be."

  
"It's not often that I get to do a double-keratoplasty. You'll be shocked at how quickly your vision will improve. You should start to get it back as early as tomorrow, when I take the protective patches off at your follow-up, though it will still be blurry." Dr. Kim took a quick look at the stats the nurse had charted. "Alright. Everything seems to be in order. I'll take you into the OR now, and the anesthesiologist will get you prepped."

  
\---

  
"Since you're having a double transplant, we're going to be putting you under general anesthesia. That is, you'll be completely unconscious for the procedures. Sometimes we can get away with only localized anesthesia, but in your case, I think this option will give you a better chance of success. You'll be under for about three or four hours."

  
V lay on the table, feeling a bit like a corpse. The metal was cold, but he did his best not to fidget. He'd be asleep soon enough anyway. Dr. Kim left the room to scrub in, leaving his scrub nurse as V's only companion. She fussed around with a gaggle of wires, hooking up a heart monitor to make sure V didn't up and die on the table. Though this was a low-risk procedure, anesthesia always carried some level of danger. He could hear the beeping of the monitor, which increased in rate as the anesthesiologist entered the OR.

  
He produced a syringe, containing the sedative that would be knocking V on his ass for the next few hours. As he injected the fluid into the IV started by the scrub nurse, he explained that Dr. Kim was currently scrubbing in, and that they'd be ready to start soon.

  
Very quickly, V's eyelids began to droop, and it felt as if all sensation had slowly begun to leave his body. The last thing he could remember was the sound of the OR's sensor-controlled sliding door as Dr. Kim entered the room. Everything faded away after that.

  
\---

  
The next thing V was aware of was a dull ache deep within his eye sockets, and then the sensation of scratchy hospital sheets, then the beeping of the heart monitor. Everything was pitch black, until V realized that he still had his eyes closed. It felt as if his eyelids weighed ten kilograms each as he forced them open. Everything was still dark, as Dr. Kim had placed sterile patches over his eyes, but a tiny bit of light was let in through the tightly-woven gauze, and V dared hope that maybe the surgery had been a success after all.

  
He sniffed, wiggling his fingers and toes, just to make sure they were still there.

  
"Are you awake?" a familiar voice asked.

  
"Jumin, is that you?"

  
"Yes, it's me. How are you feeling?"

  
"Mmm...my eyes hurt...and I feel a little like I've been hit by a truck."

  
"That's from the anesthesia," Dr. Kim explained, entering the room. "You'll start to feel a little bit better in a few hours, but for now, you're going to feel very sluggish and tired, and maybe a little nauseous. You can eat as soon as your appetite returns."

  
The idea of food currently repulsed V. He shook his head. "I don't think I'll be eating anytime soon. I just want to take a nap as soon as I get home. I can go home today, right?"

  
"Yes. I can discharge you within the hour. For the next week or so, try to lie on your back as much as possible, to avoid putting pressure on your incisions. The operations went very smoothly, so now it's up to you to ensure they heal properly. Don't rub your eyes, or get anything in them. I'll remove the patches tomorrow, and then you'll need to wear glasses, or a protective shield to keep them safe. In a couple of months, we'll assess where you are, and I can prescribe you corrective lenses to further improve your vision."

  
"What kind of medicine can I take for the pain?"

  
"I'll prescribe a painkiller for you. Nothing too powerful, just enough to stop the aching." V could hear the scratching of a pen on paper as Dr. Kim jotted down his recommendation, tearing off the sheet and handing it to Jumin. "As soon as you feel like you can move, I'll sign your discharge papers so that you can get home and rest."

  
Thirty minutes later, V still felt like Hell, but at least he would get to feel like Hell in the comfort of his own home. The discharge papers had been signed, and he was now laying flat in the back seat of Jumin's town car, trying not to groan every time the car hit some little bump.

  
Luckily, rush hour traffic had not yet started, and V was soon home, glad that the entire ordeal was finally over. He laid down on the couch, face-up, the aforementioned nausea beginning to creep in.

  
"Jumin..."

  
"Yeah?"

  
"Thank you."

  
"For what?"

  
"Coming with me today, for..." V waved his hand weakly. "...everything."

  
Jumin waved him off. "Don't worry about it. Just rest now."

  
V was snoring within five minutes. _What would you expect?_ Jumin thought to himself. It had been a long day for his friend, and it was barely three in the afternoon. V needed to rest now, more than anything, and Jumin decided to let him get some sleep while he went out to pick up the painkillers Dr. Kim had prescribed, along with some anti-nausea medication.

  
As expected, V was still asleep when he returned. Jumin quietly removed the purchases from their bag, and settled down in a chair across from his friend, unlocking his (silenced) cell phone to check his work email. As he finished sending off a response to a question from Assistant Kang, V's cell phone vibrated on the coffee table. Jumin snatched it up to keep the loud buzzing sound from waking him.

  
V had a new text message, from someone called "Kat." _A woman?_ It seemed that Kat wanted V to let her know how the surgery went, when he was able. Jumin decided to respond on V's behalf, so as to not leave her hanging.

  
"Hello. This is Jumin. I'm a friend of V's. He's currently resting."

  
"Oh, yes. V has mentioned you before. Thank you for being there for him! Please ask him to call me when he's feeling a little better."

  
Jumin wondered if this was the woman V had mentioned before, the one who had encouraged him to rethink his decision, who made him think about things differently. He gave a slight grin, making a mental note to tell V to call when he woke up.

  
\---

  
V began to stir a couple of hours later, sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck. He felt much better than before. The nausea had left him, and a bit of energy had returned in his place. He even felt a little hungry.

  
"Are you feeling better now?"

  
"Ah, yes. Much better actually. My eyes still hurt some, but not as much as before."

  
"I got your prescription for you, but you'll need to take it with food. Do you think you can eat something?"

  
"I think so."

  
"Oh! You got a text while you were asleep. A woman named "Kat" wants you to call her. She wants to know how it went."

  
V nodded. "Hand me my phone."

  
Kat picked up after a couple of rings. "V? How did things go today?"

  
"According to the doctor, the surgery went well. Now, I just have to hope everything heals properly."

  
"How are you feeling?"

  
"Better now. I felt terrible when I first woke up." Jumin could see V smiling as he spoke to her.

  
"You hungry?"

  
"A little. I have to eat something. I can't take my pain medication on an empty stomach."

  
"Would you like me to bring you some food? Your pick?"

  
The tone of V's voice became livelier. "Yeah, that would be great, actually."

  
"What sounds good? Also, I'm guessing Jumin is still there?"

  
"Yeah, he's here. Ahh...Indian food sounds good."

  
"Oh my god, yes. What do y'all want me to get?"

  
"I'd like Masoor Dal, and rice, and..." V covered the mouthpiece with his hand. "What do you want, Jumin?"

  
"Chicken Biryani?"

  
"He says Chicken Biryani," V relayed over the phone.

  
"Got it. I'll the there within the hour."

  
\---

  
Before too long, V could hear the knock at his door, along with the jangle of metal tags. "Sounds like she brought one of the dogs."

  
Jumin went to answer the door, granting entrance to the young woman, carrying two bags of fragrant food, and accompanied by a large, brown-and-white dog. "You must be Jumin. I'm Kat. I'd shake your hand, but..." She lifted the bags, indicating her inability. She grinned, her vibrant personality coming out to play. Kat had thick brown hair, tied into two braids that crept out from under her knit cap, and a spray of freckles across her nose and cheeks, which mingled with the pinkness brought on by the cold weather. "I hope it's okay that I brought Daisy with me!" she called out toward the living room.

  
Jumin followed Kat into the kitchen to help divide up the food. He couldn't help noticing that Kat was a very pretty woman, objectively. He chuckled to himself. _V's certainly in for a surprise when his vision clears up._ After they had separated the items, Jumin reached for his wallet, removing some cash to give to Kat. "For dinner."

  
She pushed the bills away. "Don't worry about it. It's my treat."

  
"V, tell Kat to let me pay her back for dinner," Jumin nagged, carrying his and V's food into the living room.

  
V reached out to pet Daisy as she wandered over to him. "Hey, you should be happy that for once, I'm friends with a woman who doesn't want to take your money!"

  
Kat's mouth opened, but no words came out. She looked amused by the exchange. It seemed she knew about Rika. Daisy wandered over to Jumin next, intently sniffing the bottoms of his pant legs.

  
"Daisy, leave him alone," Kat warned, and the dog returned to her obediently.

  
"I bet she smells Elizabeth," V mused.

  
"Elizabeth?"

  
"Jumin's cat."

  
Daisy sneezed loudly then, and both V and Kat had to laugh at the silly noise. Jumin watched them, an interesting thought creeping into his mind. _Rika was not meant to be mine, but it appears that she's not your destiny either..._

_\---_

A/N: I keep forgetting to post Kat's character profile, so [here](https://squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com/post/157343864416/kat-stolz-age-27-height-167-cm-birthday).


	38. Feverish

"Come at me, shitlord!" Chae-Young hollered over the headset, fingers flying across her keyboard to make her character swing its mighty sword. She and Yoosung were deadlocked in PVP mode, making their LOLOL characters fight to the death. Yoosung sneezed a couple of times, the brief distraction just enough of an opening for Chae-Young to strike, finishing the battle.

  
"Not fair!" Yoosung whined. "Cheater."

  
Chae-Young laughed. "All's fair in love and war!"

  
"Yeah, well..." he was cut off by a massive coughing fit that made his chest ache, the discomfort only causing him to hack more. Yoosung groaned as the last cough finally left him.

  
"Dude, are you okay? That sounded pretty bad."

  
"I've been feeling kind of off all day. That was the first time I've coughed like that."

  
"Do you think you're getting sick?"

  
"I don't know, maybe. I'm not feeling so good..." Yoosung's voice sounded a little bit pitiful on the mic.

  
"Maybe you should go rest for a while instead of playing games."

  
"That sounds like a good idea. I'll get on later if I'm feeling better." Now Chae-Young _knew_ that Yoosung had to be getting sick. Something had to be up if he didn't even feel like playing LOLOL.

  
"Okay. Call me if you start feeling worse."

  
Yoosung logged off of his computer, and wandered over to his bed, collapsing into it face first. He gave a pitiful little moan, wrapping the thick blankets around himself. He did feel drowsy, and hoped that maybe he was just sleep-deprived, and that a short rest would have him feeling good-as-new. He curled up in a little ball, closing his eyes.

  
When Yoosung awoke several hours later, he did not feel good-as-new. In fact, he felt worse, much worse. He was very cold; no matter how tightly he tugged the blankets to him, he continued to shiver, which didn't help the throbbing in his head in the slightest. The nasty cough persisted, and now, it was accompanied by a scratchy, sore throat. Worst of all, he still felt exhausted. Crawling out of bed to find another blanket, and to change into something more comfortable, was a Herculean feat.

  
Yoosung picked up his phone, hoping that Chae-Young would be able to hear his fleeting voice. She picked up quickly. "Hey."

  
"Chae..." he whined, sounding like his vocal cords had been rubbed with sandpaper.

  
"Oh, no. You'll really sick, aren't you?" She sounded worried.

  
"Yes..."

  
"I'll be there in, like, 45 minutes. Just hang tight. I'll bring you some soup and some medicine, okay?"

  
"'Kay..."

  
Yoosung sat upright in bed, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets, trying not to fall back asleep. He needed to let Chae-Young in when she arrived.

  
\---

  
Chae-Young exited the pharmacy, wondering if maybe she'd bought too much stuff (tissues, daytime cold medicine, nighttime cold medicine, cough drops, Vape-O-Rub, bottled water, adhesive cooling pads, cold care tea...). No, no such thing as too much for a sick friend. Yoosung needed to get better as quickly as possible, and Chae-Young would do everything in her power to make sure that happened. She entered the take-away place next door to pick up the soup (and bulgogi) that she'd called in before.

  
She carefully ascended the stairs of Yoosung's building, the two pharmacy bags in one hand and the food clutched precariously in the other. She kicked the front door several times to announce her arrival, and after a few moments, the blond answered, looking half-dead.

  
"Chae...take care of me!" he whined, plopping down at the table in the main room.

  
"Yeah, yeah, that's why I'm here," she assured him, setting the bags down and unzipping her coat, revealing the loose, mint-green knit dress underneath. "You're lucky it's a Friday. If it was the middle of the week, I might not have been able to come." She leaned over the table, pressing the back of her hand to Yoosung's forehead. "Oh, yeah, you're burning up." She pulled the nighttime medicine out of the bag, passing the box across the table. "Take one of these. It's got acetaminophen in it, so it'll help bring your fever down."

  
Chae-Young wandered off to the kitchen with the box of tea bags she had bought, returning a few minutes later with a cup of hot, herbal liquid. "Here. Kat's recommendation. The elderflower helps your sinuses and the yarrow is for your fever. I tasted it. It's not bad." She began unloading the food from its brown paper bag.

  
"Aww, you got bulgogi?"

  
"Not for you! You need soup. It's really good soup. I promise." She slid the styrofoam bowl across the table." It was indeed good soup. "After this, you should try to get some more sleep. The more you rest, the quicker you'll get better."

  
Yoosung nodded, too tired to argue. Chae had been right about the soup. It was gentle on his aching throat and warmed him from the inside out. The medicine, on the other hand, made him feel sluggish, making it difficult to find even the energy to stand and walk back to the bedroom. Halfway there, he began to cough again, the sharp pain returning to his chest. Yoosung tried not to cough, but the tickle in the back of his throat was undeniable.

  
Chae-Young entered the room, handing him a jar of Vape-O-Rub. "This might help with your cough some."

  
Yoosung flopped back onto the bed, too tired to do anything but pass out. "Too tired. Do it for me."

  
Chae-Young's cheeks grew a bit pink at the suggestion. "No way! You're a grown man! Do it yourself!"

  
"But I'm _tired_!" he whined. He pulled his shirt up enough to give access to his bare chest. "Please..."

  
Though she was scarcely willing to admit it, Chae-Young couldn't resist a man who begged. She sighed, making an aggravated noise, and sat down on the bed next to Yoosung, pushing up her sleeves to avoid getting the oily menthol goop all over them.

  
Tentatively, Chae-Young began spreading the Vape-O-Rub across his chest, trying to keep her touches chaste. Yoosung closed his eyes in order to appear relaxed and sleepy, praying to anyone that was listening that Chae-Young couldn't feel the quickening of his heartbeat. After a few moments, the awkwardness of the act passed, and Chae-Young relaxed a little, smearing the goop around in a way that was decidedly non-sensual.

  
Still, Yoosung had to bite his tongue to keep from gasping lightly as her hand accidently brushed against a pink nipple.

  
When she finished, she jerked his shirt back down, getting up to go wash her hands. "Go to sleep." Chae-Young exited the room, turning off the light as she went. It had started to get late, the sun sinking down past the horizon. Still, she didn't feel as though she should bail just yet. Maybe she could pick up the apartment a little bit, make herself useful.

  
She wandered into the kitchen, confronted by a sink full of dishes. _Wash your dishes once in a while, you fuck._ Chae-Young located a sponge and a bottle of dish soap, and set to work, scrubbing the sink's contents clean and arranging them neatly in the dish rack nearby. As she worked, she reflected on her friendship with Yoosung, wondering how on earth the two of them had managed to become friends. He was so young, still so innocent and full of goodness; and Chae-Young was...Chae-Young.

  
At the end of the day, she wasn't really a good person. She smoked. She drank too much. She used people for sex, only to cast them aside once she'd gotten her high. Chae-Young didn't like feeling things. She'd already had enough feelings for one lifetime, most of them painful. Numbness was preferable. _If you knew how broken I am inside...would you still want to be my friend?_ She shook her head, banishing the unpleasant thoughts.

  
After she had finished in the kitchen, Chae-Young tiptoed around around Yoosung's bedroom, picking up empty soda cans and snack wrappers, and taking a few dirty dishes back to the kitchen. A couple of times, she'd caught herself watching him rest, admiring the fluttering eyelashes and smooth, pink skin, the little whimpering noises he made in his sleep. Her heart jumped for a moment when he shifted, giving a soft whine that sounded just a little bit erotic to Chae-Young. She quickly busied herself again, picking up a few worn clothing items from the floor.

  
\---

  
Satisfied with her efforts, Chae-Young dragged her Kraken bag into the bedroom. She still didn't want to leave, and she figured Yoosung wouldn't mind the company. She plopped down in his desk chair, laying some printouts on the desk in front of her, thinking it wouldn't be bad to get some coursework done in the meantime. Chae-Young uncapped a pen, chewing on the end as she carefully read through her course material, making notes in the margins and underlining and circling key points.

  
She heard Yoosung shift behind her, mumbling incoherently in his sleep. She put her pen down, getting up to go over and check on him. He shivered in his sleep, though he clutched the blankets tightly around himself, and sweat beaded up on his forehead. Yoosung was unconscious, but Chae-Young could tell that he was restless, his brow furrowing as he whispered nonsense under his breath. She laid her hand against his face again, noting that while he was a little cooler than before, he was still rather feverish.

  
Chae-Young went to find another blanket, wondering if that would help at all. She grabbed the fleece throw folded neatly on the back of the couch, and returned to the bedroom, spreading it out over the blond, carefully tucking it around him. To her dismay, he continued to shiver. Maybe he needed a heat source, rather than more insulation. _I think I saw a drug store across the street...it's probably closed now, though..._ She searched the apartment for a heating pad, finding nothing. _WELP._ There was only one thing to do now.

  
Her lips pressing into a thin line, Chae-Young returned to the bedroom, pausing for a moment at the foot of the bed. Ever so carefully, so as to not wake her sleeping friend, she lifted up the covers just enough to allow her to climb into bed next to him, shimmying down under the blankets. Slowly, she pressed her body against his back, allowing him to steal some of her warmth. Almost immediately, the shivers began to subside, Yoosung's tense body finally relaxing. He sighed in his sleep, his mumbling replaced by steady breaths.

  
Unconsciously, he snuggled back against Chae-Young, and she blushed. As much as she hated to admit it, this felt...nice. The non-sexual intimacy was comfortable, easy. Spending time with Yoosung always seemed to put her into a state of relaxation. He was such a gentle person, and that calmed her, quieting (no matter now briefly) the turmoil inside her in a way that alcohol, nicotine, sex never could. For the first time in years, Chae-Young felt as though she could let her guard down. Her eyes flickered shut as she nuzzled her face against Yoosung's back.

  
It was very late when she woke again, the digital clock on the bedside table reading nearly two in the morning. _A little late to go home now..._ Sweat poured down Chae-Young's face. The combination of the multiple blankets, combined with the feverish body beside her, was just too damn much. She felt sticky, and not in the fun way. She brushed aside a piece of hair that had been pasted to her face, trying to decide what to do. She'd have to find a way to cool off if she wanted to get any more sleep tonight.

  
_Fuck it_ , she thought, unsticking the long sleeves of her dress from her arms. She shifted her bottom to pull the skirt out from underneath her, and sat up a little to pull the dress off over her head. Cool air hit her damp skin, and she sighed with relief. It might seem a little salacious, laying here dressed only in her bra and panties, but she was too sleepy to care now. _It's not anything he hasn't seen before..._

  
\---

  
Yoosung awoke to a velvety warmth next to him, too large to be a heating pad or an electric blanket. He opened his eyes to see Chae-Young's familiar, short, brown hair splaying across the pillow next to him. Her back curved outward, pressing against his chest, and he held her tightly to him, arms curled around her. At some point, she'd gotten into bed next to him, presumably to keep him warm, and she'd fallen asleep. She was still asleep now, thankfully; only Yoosung witnessed this compromising scenario.

  
Something wasn't quite right. Chae-Young's arms were bare where they had been covered before. Yoosung's hand shifted, finding the naked flesh of her stomach. _There's no way._ After a moment of contemplation, he tentatively lifted up the covers, taking a peek underneath. _!!!_ She really had stripped down to her underwear. Did she not realize the implications of crawling into man's bed, wearing so little? The feverish flush on Yoosung's face darkened further. Not really sure of what he was doing, he slid his hand over to her hip, and Chae-Young gave a little sigh in her sleep. He bit his lip, pulse quickening as he grew hard between his legs. _I may be sick, but I'm still a man, Chae!_

  
In his weakened state, the sudden rush of blood made Yoosung lightheaded. He felt nauseous, covering his eyes with one hand and groaning in discomfort. He managed to wriggle away from Chae-Young and turn over, both to try and calm himself, and to avoid a very uncomfortable conversation should she wake up suddenly. The room continued to spin for a few moments, and the blond felt as though he might pass out. At least the sick feeling annihilated any lingering arousal.

  
Finally, the nausea passed, and Yoosung rubbed his forehead, staring at the digital clock. _Almost four in the morning..._ He closed his eyes, having a difficult time finding sleep again. Truthfully, he wanted to roll back over and hold Chae-Young again. She was so soft and tiny... She fit so nicely in his arms... Her little sleepy sighs were so cute...

  
It was too risky, though. Yoosung knew that if he returned to his previous position, he'd most definitely get excited again. He couldn't have Chae-Young waking up and finding out, thinking that he was being weird and inappropriate. He buried his face in his pillow and groaned. He couldn't stop thinking about what her body felt like against his.

  
_I shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts about her! She's my friend! This is so wrong..._ As guilty as he felt, this wasn't the first time Yoosung had had those kinds of thoughts about Chae-Young. When she'd admonished him for not going to class, when they'd posed together- especially _after_ they'd posed together, when Chae-Young had joked about putting a collar on him... It wasn't like Yoosung wanted to think those things! It was just...a little harder to control his thoughts in the heat of the moment...

  
_Damn it._ He was hard again. The girl lying next to him was just so cool, and cute, and funny, and just...he just generally loved being with her, no matter what they were doing. It wasn't just the sexual things about her that Yoosung found appealing, either. He loved the idea of holding her, kissing her, taking her out, making her laugh, giving her a gentle good night kiss at the end of a long day. That had to mean... _Uh oh._

  
_I...really like her, huh?_


	39. Warm

A small spray of chlorinated water kicked up as Anna flipped over at the edge of the pool, backstroking her way back down to the other end. Outside, snowflakes fluttered down into the blanket of frost that had formed overnight. However, Anna's apartment building had an extensive gym facility, including an indoor pool, whose room was nice and toasty warm. This was one of the reasons she'd chosen this particular apartment in the first place, as this would allow her to continue her daily dips in the early morning even as the weather grew frigid.

  
Her fingers touched the tile wall, and she slowed to a stop. Anna stood up, leaning against the edge of the pool to catch her breath. She hoisted herself out of the water, sitting on the edge for a little while as water dripped off. She wasn't as fast in the water as she'd been in high school, but then again, she was older now, and no longer trained at a competitive level. Anna still loved to swim, the feeling of her body jetting through the water, but it was more for fitness now.

  
She stood, and wrapped a towel around herself, slipping her feet into the pair of rubber flip-flops she'd left nearby. Anna needed to hurry and get showered and changed, as she was planning to meet Jaehee a little later that morning. Jaehee had found a specialty grocery store that supposedly carried every type of food imaginable, and she wanted to check it out. Knowing Anna's interest in high-quality ingredients, Jaehee had invited her to come along with her. Supposedly, there would be a farmer's market in the city when the weather warmed up a little more, but for now, this would have to be good enough.

  
Anna stood outside the designated coffee shop at 9:00 sharp, lifting her yellow scarf to cover her nose and mouth. Soon, she could see Jaehee approaching, recognizable by her gait and her short, brown hair. She noticed Anna, and raised her hand to wave. Anna slipped her scarf back down, smiling broadly as she waved in return.

  
"I didn't expect it to be so cold outside!" Jaehee commented, rubbing her gloved hands together. "I didn't realize that it was snowing until I got outside. I should have checked the weather before I got dressed," she said wistfully. Jaehee's choice of a dress and tights was indeed a little too bare for the weather, but she did look nice.

  
"A nice cup of coffee will warm you right up," Anna reassured, holding the cafe door open for her friend.

  
"We'll get it to-go. The store is only another couple of blocks away."

  
\---

  
"Are you planning on looking for anything in particular?" Jaehee asked as they waited for their order (a cappuccino for Jaehee and cafe au lait for Anna).

  
"Mmm...I want to see how their vegetables look. I checked the store's website, and it says that they carry organic produce. I'd like to look for some peppers. The ones I've seen at every other grocery store have been kind of sad and shriveled. What are you looking for?"

  
"I want to look for some specialty coffees. I bought a coffee grinder recently and I want to get some beans. My blood is basically 80% caffeine, so I might as well treat myself to the good stuff."

  
The barista came back then with their drinks, thanking them for their business. Jaehee paused in front of the door, steeling herself against the freezing temperatures outside. She stepped outside, walking stiffly and quickly down the street, to-go cup clutched tightly in her hand. Anna hurried along behind her, surprised by how quickly she moved.

  
Soon, they made it to the store, Jaehee bursting through the front doors, shivering. Anna grabbed a cart, unbuttoning her coat and dropping it into the basket. Jaehee took a moment to warm up before removing her own coat, revealing the low-cut dress underneath. Her breasts bounced a little as she moved, and Anna turned a bit red, trying not to stare.

  
Though she considered Jaehee a friend, and had no plans to make any kind of a move on her, Anna did find her attractive. She did have a preference for women after all, and Jaehee was a very lovely woman. Her personality was exuberant and sweet, and her body, well...Anna didn't want to have those sorts of thoughts in public.

  
In her conscious mind, she only saw Jaehee as a friend, but her body had a very different attitude toward the other woman.

  
She busied herself looking through the produce section. The peppers here were much nicer here. Then again, all of the produce here was pretty. Vibrantly colored peppers here, perfectly smooth and red tomatoes there... Anna started snatching plastic bags out of the dispenser. Jaehee grinned, watching Anna obviously enjoying herself.

  
Lots of other people had the same idea to spend part of their Saturday here. People filled the store, stocking up on rations for the week. Jaehee didn't plan to buy any raw ingredients, as she didn't have any time to cook anyway, so she stood to the side, happy to watch as Anna excitedly gathered items for herself.

  
It seemed as though Anna was stocking up to open her own restaurant. She filled the cart with bags full of massive onions, bundles of fragrant herbs, peppers in bright shades of red, green, orange, a full bag of fresh garlic bulbs. She examined a bunch of celery, looking for wilted spots, then bagged it, before moving on to the pile of long, fat carrots. Once she was satisfied with her selections, she pushed the basket over to Jaehee, ready to move on to the next section of the store.

  
Jaehee gestured to the piles of vegetables. "For the restaurant?"

  
"Actually, they're for my own home cooking."

  
"You go to work as a chef six days out of the week, and you still find time to cook for yourself from scratch? That's amazing!"

  
"The way I see it, I make such delicious, high-quality food at work that it hardly seems fair to not put the same amount of care into my own meals. Besides," she laughed, "I like good food!"

 

Jaehee peered into the cart, eyes scanning the different varieties that Anna had selected. "What are you planning to make?"

  
"For today, I think...Shrimp Etouffee. It'll be perfect for this weather."

  
"Etouffee?"

  
"It's a traditional Creole dish, common in the part of the United States where I was born and raised."

  
"Creole?"

  
"It's a category of dishes common in the gulf-coastal region of the U.S."

  
"So you're from the southern part of the States?"

  
"Yes. Specifically, I'm from New Orleans."

  
Jaehee scratched her head. "That name sounds familiar." She thought for a moment, trying to recall the context. "Oh! I think I remember now. Wasn't there...an awful hurricane?"

  
"Unfortunately, yes. It happened just over ten years ago. I was sixteen at the time, and it was terrifying. My family was one of the lucky ones. We got through it safe- my mom, dad, my brother... Even our house made it. We had some water damage, but we didn't have to move. Lots of people...had it way worse than we did." Anna looked a little bit sad as she recalled the aftermath of the storm. "I remember, when I finally got to go back to school, seeing so many students gone, and having to figure out who moved away, and who..." she trailed off, shaking her head.

  
Jaehee touched her gently on the hand. "I'm sorry you had to go through that...I'm glad you and your family are okay."

  
Anna turned, giving a warm smile. "Me too."

  
\---

  
The cart wound its way through the aisles at a leisurely pace as Anna and Jaehee browsed through all of the weird and wonderful products on offer.

  
"You know, I'd like to try Creole food sometime," Jaehee mused suddenly. "What's it like?"

  
_Be still my beating heart._ "Hmm...rich, warm, a little spicy. It's very flavorful- it uses a lot of different herbs and spices. It's kind of hard to describe how it's different from other rich and spicy foods. It just has a character all its own." Anna paused. "You know, if you like, you could come over after we get done here and I'll make the etouffee for lunch."

  
"I'd like to do that." Jaehee spotted the coffee section then, stealing her attention away. With immense interest, she began looking over her options, muttering to herself the pros and cons of each item. She held a bag of beans in each hand, her eyebrows knitting together as she tried to make a decision. Finally, she shrugged. "I guess I could always get both." She shot Anna a wry grin.

  
_Cute._

  
\---

  
It had grown colder; Jaehee shivered for the entire elevator ride up to Anna's apartment. Inside, Anna led her into the living room, switching on the little space heater near the couch and handing Jaehee a thick cable-knit blanket. As Anna went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, a little smush-faced dog wandered into the room, wiggling his body and snorting.

  
"Well, hello there." Jaehee reached out to the dog, accepting the wet puppy kisses he offered.

 

"That's Dizzy," Anna called to her. "You can shoo him away if he's bothering you."

  
"Oh, no. He's fine." Dizzy sniffed Jaehee's hands, and snorted once more before waddling off again.

  
Once she was finally warm, she folded the blanket neatly and joined Anna in the kitchen, watching as the other woman waited for the oil and flour in the pan to darken into a lovely, red-brown roux. Once it had deepened to her liking, she added the peppers, onions, and garlic she had minced, filling the kitchen with their fragrant aroma. Jaehee's mouth started to water in anticipation.

  
"Can you come live with me?"

  
Anna laughed, offering her a taste once the thick mixture began to take its final form. Jaehee accepted the spoon, blowing on the steaming liquid for a moment before giving it a try. If Jaehee had to choose one word to describe the dish, it would be "warm." It tasted like home, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so comforted.

  
_Anna is...pretty amazing. I'm really glad I got to meet you._


	40. Favor

"Assistant Kang!" Jumin called, leaning through the doorway to his office.

  
Jaehee saved her changes to the document on which she was working and swiveled around in her desk chair. "Yes, Mr. Han?"

  
"I assume you have received my email message notifying you that I will be away on business starting Wednesday?"

  
"Yes. I've made certain that you have no meetings during that time, and I've submitted your travel paperwork. You'll be visiting the vineyard, correct?"

  
"You are correct. In addition, I will need you to take Elizabeth while I am gone." Assistant Kang had taken care of Jumin's cat on many occasions, and he was certain that it would be no matter for her to do so again. Elizabeth the Third was very near and dear to Jumin's heart, and he refused to leave her with just anyone, even if they found it rather inconvenient.

  
Jaehee folded her hands in her lap, clearing her throat. "Mr. Han, I do not feel that it is appropriate for you to continue to ask me to be your cat-sitter. That is not one of the duties listed in my contract. Please find someone else to care for Elizabeth while you are gone." Jaehee made no bones about the fact that she loathed being Jumin's go-to caretaker for the cat, despite being well-paid for the time.

  
While Jaehee was technically in the right here, Jumin couldn't help feeling a little dismayed. He didn't like admitting it, but she was one of the few people he trusted to be responsible for his precious pet. Few people got close enough to him to truly understand how special his cat was to him. However, he knew it wasn't fair to keep asking his assistant to work extra simply to assuage his own insecurities. But...who could he ask. His brain ticked down his mental list of RFA members. Jaehee was already out. Yoosung would probably be too busy playing his silly game to properly care for a cat. Both Yuki and Zen would refuse on cat-allergy-related grounds. Seven was a definite no. That only left V, and he was still recovering after having surgery. No way would Jumin ask this of him in his current condition.

  
"Why don't you ask Sun-Mi Dang?" Jaehee's suggestion surprised Jumin. He hadn't thought of this. He and Sun-Mi weren't exactly... _friendly_. Then again...

  
It wasn't a bad idea. Sun-Mi had a cat of her own, and had seemed enchanted by the photos she had seen of Elizabeth. _They might get along really well._ It was entirely possible that she would be a better fit for the task than Jaehee. Still, Jumin felt a little hesitant to ask her. It seemed as though Sun-Mi always had her hackles up around him. She always kept him at arm's length, as if she didn't fully trust him. Jumin supposed he couldn't really blame her, considering how they'd been toward one another in the beginning. Would she be willing to do this, though? Jumin wasn't sure.

  
Elizabeth needed a proper caregiver, however, and it seemed that Sun-Mi was Jumin's best option. No matter how strangely Jumin and Sun-Mi related toward one another, he needed to put his pet's well-being first. If he left her with Sun-Mi, she'd likely come back to him properly fed, watered, brushed, and well-loved. He'd have to just bite the bullet on this one.

  
"Assistant Kang, please give Sun-Mi a call, and ask her to come upstairs when it's convenient."

  
\---

  
The ringing of her office phone startled Sun-Mi, who had accidentally dozed off, head resting in her hands. She jumped, all of her internal organs simultaneously doing backflips. She sat, breathing heavily for a moment as the phone continued to ring. When she no longer felt as though she was about to suffer a major heart attack, Sun-Mi picked up the receiver, giving the standard departmental greeting.

  
"Sun-Mi?" Jaehee asked, noting that Sun-Mi's vocal tone was decidedly more high-pitched than usual.

  
"Y-Yes?" Sun-Mi's heart continued to hammer away in her chest as the nice little jolt of adrenaline worked its way through her veins.

  
"First, are you all right?"

  
"I'm all right. The phone ringing just startled me, that's all."

  
Jaehee chuckled. "Slow day?"

  
"Very."

  
"Listen, when it's convenient, will you come up to Mr. Han's office, please?"

  
_Oh god, what is it this time? What's wrong now?_ "Is there a problem with his computer?" It had been over a month since Jumin's last technological crisis. Sun-Mi feared that perhaps the cycle was repeating itself.

  
"Actually, he just needs to ask you something. Whenever it's convenient."

  
"Of course." Sun-Mi set the phone back down. Somehow, this was worse than all of Jumin's silly little computer problems. With those, she always knew what to expect. What in the world did he need to ask her? In person, no less! This had to be something important, or he would have just sent an email. He did know how to send an email, yes?

  
"I-I'll be back in a little bit," Sun-Mi told Mina as she headed upstairs.

  
"What is it this time?" she smirked in return.

  
"Apparently, Mr. Han has something to ask me."

  
'WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Mina howled as Sun-Mi stomped out of the room, refusing to dignify her friend's silliness with any sort of response. She couldn't understand why Mina always made it out to be like _that_. Of course, Mina was kidding her, but did it really have to be like that?

  
_It can't be..._ Sun-Mi thought as she stepped into the elevator. _No way._ She shook her head, laughing to herself at Mina's ridiculousness. Though she knew Jumin's question couldn't possibly be _that_ , her stomach was still a pit of dread. She had no idea what to expect once she arrived on the executive level. Well, she'd be finding out soon enough.

  
When Jaehee shooed her into Jumin's office, he seemed perfectly calm and pleasant. That had to be a good sign. He didn't even bother to close the door; he merely gestured for Sun-Mi to take a seat in front of his desk as he continued to look over some documents spread out in front of him.

  
"Sun-Mi, I have a favor to ask of you."

  
This was unexpected. "A favor? What is it?" _If it's a sexual favor, I'm going to roundhouse you through that plate-glass window._

  
"I'm leaving town on business a little later this week, and I need to find someone to take care of Elizabeth the Third. I'd be paying you, of course. It was Assistant Kang's idea. Since you have a cat of your own, I believe you'll be more than responsible for her."

  
Sun-Mi relaxed. This wasn't bad at all. In fact, she'd be happy to take care of a cute kitty, and be paid to do so! She nodded. "I'll do it."

  
"Fantastic. Would it be acceptable for me to drop her off tomorrow evening? I'll be leaving very early on Wednesday morning."

  
"Yes, that's fine," Sun-Mi replied, jotting down her address on the memo pad Jumin had passed to her. "Please let me know if there are any specifics I need to know about caring for her."

  
"I'll prepare some instructions for you. Thank you for doing this on such short notice."

  
"It's not a problem," Sun-Mi smiled. "In fact, I'm looking forward to it."

  
\---

  
The moment Jumin had been dreading all week had finally arrived. It was time to leave Elizabeth in Sun-Mi's care, and jet off to his company's vineyard. He knew he would only be gone for a few days, and he knew that his pet would return to him, perfectly happy and healthy, but he hated leaving her all the same. Elizabeth peered up at him with her big, blue eyes, mewing questioningly as the car slowed to a stop in front of Sun-Mi's apartment building. Jumin rubbed her behind the ears.

  
"I'll come back for you in a few days. Sun-Mi will take good care of you." He opened the wire door of the cat carrier, nudging Elizabeth inside. She didn't like being inside the crate, understandably. She normally had free reign of the penthouse, and wasn't accustomed to confined spaces. Still, she obliged her master, curling up on the soft blanket inside and lifting a delicate paw to groom.

  
Jumin stepped out of the car and entered the building, carrying Elizabeth's crate. The building was modest, but well-maintained and clean. A security guard by the front door kept a watchful eye over the people coming and going. Jumin pressed the intercom button for Sun-Mi's unit, and she answered back quickly.

  
"Sun-Mi, I'm here with Elizabeth."

  
"I'll buzz you in." The lock on the inner door clicked, granting Jumin entrance to the lobby. He punched the "up" button on the elevator, hoping that he wasn't showing up at an inappropriately late hour. It was well past 9:00 now, as he'd gotten out of the office late, and had wanted to eat dinner before bringing the cat.

  
Jumin gave a couple of firm taps against Sun-Mi's door, and he could hear her shuffling around inside. The deadbolt clicked, and the door swung open. It felt a bit odd, seeing Sun-Mi in her lounge clothes. Before, Jumin had only seen her in business attire and formal wear, and the juxtaposition was almost jarring. This was a side of her he hadn't seen before- a softer, more intimate side.

  
She leaned down to look into the carrier, smiling. "Well hello there!" Elizabeth chirped in return, and Sun-Mi looked ecstatic. She'd met the cat before, at Jumin's New Year's party, but between being stupidly drunk, and Mina hogging Elizabeth for herself, she hadn't been properly acquainted with the kitty.

  
"Please take good care of her," Jumin implored.

  
"Don't worry. She'll be in good hands."

  
Jumin knelt down, setting the carrier on the floor and opening the door, allowing Elizabeth to step out. She sniffed at Sun-Mi as she squatted down to greet her, tail swishing about in interest. She rutted her head against the woman, eyes squinching shut as she rubbed against her. "I'm glad she's being kept by someone who's happy to have her."

  
Sun-Mi gently traced her fingers over the back of Elizabeth's head, scratching lightly. "Hi Sweetheart." The cat put her front paws up on her knee, meowing. Tentatively, Sun-Mi scooped her up and cuddled her against her chest, earning a rumbly purr.

  
"I think she likes you," Jumin commented, smiling.

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi closed and locked the door, having finally gotten Jumin to say goodbye to his cat and get going. Elizabeth still lounged in her arms, perfectly content. She seemed to like Sun-Mi, and her behavior indicated that she was comfortable, despite her unfamiliar surroundings. However, she couldn't just hang out in Sun-Mi's arms for the next three days. During the day, she'd have to stay here in the apartment with Choo-Choo. Sun-Mi needed to get her acclimated to the space, and introduce Elizabeth to her own cat.

  
She put Elizabeth back down on the floor, allowing her to explore. The cat slowly began to wander through the apartment, sniffing and nosing around, occasionally stopping to rub the full length of her body against something. Sun-Mi followed after, monitoring her activity and behavior. Elizabeth sashayed into the bedroom, stopping to sniff at the bedskirt, nudging it with her face.

  
A black-and-white paw jutted out suddenly, and Elizabeth jumped back in surprise. Sun-Mi stifled a laugh, lifting up the cloth to reveal Choo-Choo's hiding place. He chirped at her before tentatively crawling out from underneath the bed to investigate the new presence in his home. He hunched low to the floor, approaching Elizabeth slowly. She leaned forward to sniff the other cat gently, and Choo-Choo relaxed, tapping the new cat lightly with his paw as if to confirm yes, this is cat. He looked up at Sun-Mi in confusion.

  
"It's only for a few days, Choo-Choo," she laughed.

  
Making little kissing sounds, she led Elizabeth around her temporary home, showing her where she could find the litterbox, fresh water, a scratching post. Satisfied that the cat felt comfortable, and that she and Choo-Choo would get along well enough, Sun-Mi changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed with her current novel, hoping to finish a chapter before going to sleep. Choo-Choo had already curled into a knot at the foot of the bed, tuckered out from his long day of sunbathing and rubbing his butt on the kitchen counters.

  
A puff of white fur entered the room once more, sitting down on the floor next to the bed and looking up at Sun-Mi. She gave a little meow, as if asking for permission to come up. Sun-Mi patted the space next to her.

  
"Come on."

  
Elizabeth wiggled her hindquarters for a moment, then sprung up onto the mattress. She rubbed her body against Sun-Mi, then suddenly flipped over, exposing her fuzzy belly. She patted her paw against the woman's leg, asking for pets. Sun-Mi obliged her, delicately rubbing the tips of her fingers against the fur.

  
Satisfied, Elizabeth turned over, forming herself into a loaf, smushed up against Sun-Mi's leg. She tucked her paws underneath herself, and her eyes slowly began to squint closed. As she read, Sun-Mi absentmindedly scratched the cat behind her ears, receiving long, grumbling purrs in return. Elizabeth was a good cat, and Sun-Mi could see why she was so special to Jumin. As she drifted off to sleep, Elizabeth flopped over, head laid contentedly against her caretaker.

  
"What a sweet girl you are..."

  
\---

  
Despite the abundance of wine that had been offered to him since his arrival at the vineyard, Jumin couldn't seem to relax. He'd been separated from Elizabeth for less than twenty-four hours, and yet, he couldn't help but worry about her. He wanted to believe that Sun-Mi had to be taking excellent care of her, but the paranoid part of his brain still fixated on the things that were well outside of Sun-Mi's control. What if Elizabeth got sick? What if she fell and got hurt while Sun-Mi was at the office during the day? Jumin was on his second glass of wine now, and it wasn't helping.

  
He had Sun-Mi's phone number now. He could always check in to make certain everything was going smoothly. Then again, he hadn't even been gone for a full day; a phone call was sure to seem desperate. It was early evening now. She was probably at home by this time. A casual "how's it going" text would probably be fine...

  
Before he could allow himself to think about it further, Jumin removed his cell phone from his pocket and sent Sun-Mi a brief text message. "How is Elizabeth?" A few minutes passed, each one more nerve-wracking than the last.

  
To his relief, however, his phone finally chimed with a response. "She's doing just fine," was Sun-Mi's reply, accompanied by a photo, which Jumin enlarged. It seemed that Elizabeth had taken quite a liking to her sitter. In the image, she lay contentedly on Sun-Mi's lap, napping. Jumin breathed a sigh of relief, beginning to feel a little tipsy from the two glasses of wine. His inhibitions dulled, he texted her back.

  
"As thanks, I plan to treat you to dinner when I return."

  
"You don't need to do that."

  
"I insist." Jumin accepted the third glass of wine poured for him, slipping his phone back into his jacket. He felt relieved, and pleased that Elizabeth and Sun-Mi were getting along.

  
_I'm glad to see that my girls are doing well._ He froze. _"My girls?"_ Jumin placed his wine glass back on the table, sliding it away from himself. He'd clearly had enough already.


	41. A Second Set of Eyes

Approximately one month had passed since V's double transplant. As far as he could tell, everything seemed to be healing just as Dr. Kim had predicted. Some degree of vision had returned immediately- light and color became a part of V's life again. Slowly, his vision had begun to clear, little by little. Variations in hue and value gradually became more distinct. He began to be able to make out the edges where objects ended. If V focused really hard, he could sometimes make out bits of large-scale text.

  
Over the past two weeks however, his vision had improved by leaps and bounds. He could easily identify objects now, differentiate the color of people's eyes. He felt less like someone who had been legally blind, and more like someone who was simply very nearsighted.

  
V could see himself again, looking into the mirror. His hair had gotten longer. Of course, he knew that just by feeling of it, but seeing it was something else entirely. His face was more gaunt now, and dark circles had formed under his eyes, making him look perpetually tired. In some ways he was. More startlingly, he'd lost a lot of weight. Yes, his clothes had become looser, but it had happened so gradually that he'd scarcely noticed. Once V actually thought about it, things started to make a lot more sense. When Rika had become ill, his appetite had gradually started to wane. Over the past two, three years, it had gotten to the point where he forced himself to eat out of mere necessity.

  
Over the past month or so, V could tell that his appetite was gradually returning. He slept better at night. His mood seemed more balanced (though whether that was due to his attempts to change his mindset, or the medications he'd been prescribed, he couldn't be sure). He dared feel optimistic about the future.

  
Earlier in the week, he'd gotten the guts to pick his camera up again. V knew these photographs wouldn't be perfect; they'd likely be poorly composed and unfocused. What they meant, however, was far more significant than what they looked like. They symbolized another step forward, one more aspect of himself that he could steal back. His M.O. had to be different now. Before, V could spend hours searching, waiting for the perfect shot. Now, he took massive numbers of images, planning to sift through them when his vision sharpened, finding the best shots.

  
Even when he blew the images up on his desktop computer, everything still looked blurry to him. It frustrated him to have to wait and see if any of the photos had turned out well. He felt like an impatient child. Maybe in the meantime he could at least get someone else to take a look, to at least tell him if any of the images had come out clear.

  
V dug through the pocket of his sweater, searching for his cell phone. He located it, giving a little grunt of satisfaction as his fingers traced the cold metal case. He unlocked the phone and placed a call, hoping that his request wouldn't be too much of a nuisance.

  
Kat picked up on the second ring. "Hey."

  
"Kat, it's V."

  
She chucked. "I know it's you."

  
"Ah, listen. Have you got anything planned for tonight?"

  
"Other than a couple of beers and a movie on the DVR? Not at all."

  
"Would you like...or at least be willing...to come over and look at some photos? I've...started working again."

  
Kat's voice jumped up about three octaves in excitement. "Already?! V! That's amazing! I'd love to see them!" V could practically hear her smiling over the phone, and that sent a little jolt of electricity coursing through him. "Oh, have you eaten yet?" V briefly wondered if Kat had noticed how thin he'd become. Every time he saw her, it seemed like she was trying to feed him.

  
"Not yet."

  
"I could cook something while I'm there. When was the last time you had a home-cooked meal?"

  
"I actually don't know."

  
"I could roast a chicken, with squash?"

  
"I uh, actually don't eat meat." V felt a little bad, not wanting to inconvenience Kat with his self-imposed dietary restrictions.

  
However, it seemed to be no matter to her. "Hmm...I have a good recipe for butternut squash and sweet potato soup. I could substitute coconut milk for the heavy cream."

  
"That...would be great, actually, but don't trouble yourself too much."

  
"It's nothing, really. Let me feed the dogs, and I'll be there shortly."

  
\---

  
"V!" Kat hollered to him from the hallway, kicking the front door. V hurried through the apartment to let her in, not wanting her to disturb the neighbors with her yelling and banging. She was a loud person by nature, and while V didn't mind, he figured it might be bothersome to others.

  
"Coming, coming!"

  
When V opened the door, all he could see was blue; the fiercest, most vibrant blue he'd ever seen. "You have blue eyes..." he murmured, mesmerized. He couldn't help gazing into them for a few brief moments; they were so vividly alive.

  
"Huh? Yeah." Kat tilted her head, her thick, wavy hair tumbling over her shoulders. "Can I put these bags down?"

  
"Oh. Y-yeah."

  
Kat made a beeline for the kitchen to set down her heavy load before slipping her jacket off, revealing her colorfully inked arms.

  
"I didn't know you had tattoos." Now that his vision was returning, he made new discoveries with every passing minute. It was like a scavenger hunt, but better.

  
"I guess the surgery worked," Kat laughed, slipping a hair band off of her wrist and tying her hair back. She began unloading the bags she'd brought- massive butternut squash, sweet potatoes, vegetable broth, coconut milk, a six-pack of brown glass bottles...

  
"You brought beer?"

  
"Yeah, why not? When was the last time you had a good beer?"

  
"I...honestly don't know."

  
"I rest my case. Besides, a little splash of beer in the soup never hurt nobody." She chuckled, searching for a bottle opener. She popped the caps off of two of the bottles, handing one to V. " _Prost_!" Kat put a pot of water on the stove to boil, and set to work skinning the sweet potatoes.

  
"Would you like some help?"

  
"Right, like I'm gonna let you anywhere near sharp knives and a hot stove," Kat grinned, sipping her beer.

  
V laughed softly. "Touche. But you're drinking."

  
"Oh, darlin', you underestimate my tolerance. Twenty bucks says I could handle more than you any day."

  
"I'll have to take your word for it."

  
An hour later, Kat gave the final product a few last stirs, its aroma, rich and sweet, clouding the kitchen. Slowly and carefully, she lifted the pot and carried it over to the dining table, setting it down on the trivet in the middle. She filled two bowls, sliding one over to V. "I hope it turned out okay. This is the first time I've made it with coconut milk."

  
The soup was pretty incredible, warm and lightly sweet from the potatoes. V devoured it, going for seconds before Kat had even made it halfway through her own bowl. "I'm guessing you liked it?" V nodded, mouth full of soup. Kat watched, looking amused.

  
\---

  
Kat settled into one of the living room chairs as V went after his laptop. "They're probably not my best work, but I'd like to know what you think. I really hope they're not all out of focus." He laughed nervously, opening up the folder on his computer and passing the device to Kat, who slipped a pair of tortoiseshell frames out of a thin case and slid them on to her face. "I didn't know you wore glasses."

  
"Only sometimes. I'm just barely nearsighted, so they're mostly for reading, driving, intricate work..." She started clicking through the photos. Though it was clear that V was just beginning to get back onto the proverbial horse, the images were still lovely. He still struggled with detailed shots, as he had difficulty focusing the camera correctly, but his choice of subject matter, and composition, Kat found striking. She lingered on an image where it seemed that V had tried to capture an open field, but had instead focused on a flowering branch in the foreground by mistake.

  
She turned the computer around. "This! This is fantastic!"

  
"Can you make a folder with the best ones in it? I still have trouble distinguishing images that are too similar to one another."

  
"Oh. Right. Of course," she mumbled sheepishly. Kat had gotten so caught up in the images, enraptured by V's talent, that she'd forgotten that she was the only one here capable of analyzing them. She smiled to herself as she continued to browse. She felt so happy for V, that he would finally be able to find happiness of his own. She swore that she could stay like this indefinitely, looking at these photos as warmth swelled inside her chest.

  
"You know, I'm really proud of you."

  
V coughed. "They'll get better soon; the photos I mean. I've got an appointment tomorrow, and the doctor is going to prescribe some lenses for me. That should help with the blurriness."

  
Kat tapped a finger against her lips. "In that case...would you want to go take some pictures on Saturday? I was already thinking of driving out to the mountains. We could make a day trip of it."

  
V's heart fluttered for a moment, for a reason he couldn't quite put his finger on yet. All he knew was, he liked having Kat around. She was the most positive force that had been in his life in a long time; passionate, caring, unselfish. "I'd like to do that." He chuckled. "You'll have to drive, of course."

  
Kat smirked. "Of course."

  
\---

  
A little yawn escaped Kat, and she looked at her watch, doing a double-take at how quickly the midnight hour had approached. "Shit. It's really late. I have to teach in the morning."

  
"Are you sure you have to go?" V asked, disappointed. He pouted at her, jokingly.

  
"Sorry 'bout it," Kat laughed, reaching over to ruffle V's hair, causing his skin to prickle at the contact. His face heated up; it had been a long time since he'd been touched with any sort of affection. A little shiver ran down his spine, though he tried not to dwell on the simple gesture too much.

  
"I guess I'll see you on Saturday, then?"

  
"Yep. Bright and early!" She reached for her bag. "Oh, that's right..." She reached into the leather shoulder bag, finding a Polaroid photo. She passed it to V. "From before- the night my show opened."

  
V followed her to the door, not wanting her to leave just yet, but knowing that it had to happen eventually.

  
"Good night, V."

  
"Good night, Kat."

  
V slept very well that night, Polaroid placed carefully on his bedside table.


	42. The Pleasure of Your Company

Choo-Choo stared up at his human, chirping as he watch her hurry around the bedroom, trying to decide what she would wear that evening. Sun-Mi sifted through the hanging garments, her eye eventually caught by a cream-colored silk wrap dress; lovely, feminine, but still fairly modest. After all, this was a thank-you dinner, nothing more. Hanging the dress on the hook of her closet door, she returned to her vanity, staring into the mirror. She'd tried a new foundation, and though it rendered her skin smooth and dewy, it still failed to cover those hated freckles. Whatever. It wasn't as though Sun-Mi cared what Jumin thought about her looks.

  
She dabbed her smoky tobacco-vanilla perfume onto her wrists and collarbone, then paused for a moment. _What am I doing?_ These plans tight-walked a fine line between professionalism and...something else. Sun-Mi didn't have any of those sort of feelings for Jumin. She absolutely did not. He sure had warmed up to her, though, and she had to wonder... No, that was silly. Jumin didn't seem interested in romance, and if he was, women like Sun-Mi certainly weren't his preference.

  
In the back of his town car, Jumin drummed his fingers nervously on the arm rest. He was still shocked with himself for making this offer. If only he'd waited until he'd sobered up to check in. It wasn't that he was opposed to treating Sun-Mi to dinner; it just put him in an odd situation. Furthermore, what would people have to say about this, Jumin appearing in public with a young, single woman, sharing an intimate candlelit dinner. He shook his head. Was this really a good idea?

  
He didn't want to find an excuse to back out of it, however. Maybe subconsciously, Jumin did want to take her out to dinner. Consciously, he didn't want to consider this as a possibility. Still, he couldn't help feeling a little bit anxious as the time grew nearer. He sighed, trying to convince himself that it was due to the idea of being seen in public. Was it though? The tangled threads inside him twisted tighter.

  
Sun-Mi jumped when she was buzzed from downstairs. She stood quickly and hurried over to the intercom. She let Jumin in and went to get her handbag from the other room while she waited for him to come up. She tucked the clutch under her arm and waited near the door, biting her lip. Choo-Choo watched her from the couch. "What am I doing?" she asked him. The cat's ears perked up as he heard the sharp knock at the door, and he bolted off to the bedroom, leaving Sun-Mi alone.

  
Heart jumping into her throat, she opened the door slowly, greeted by a dozen deep pink roses. She blinked, surprised. "Flowers?"

  
Jumin went silent for a brief couple of moments, just looking at Sun-Mi. Objectively, she really was very pretty. Her dark brown hair curled around her face, and she gazed up at him with those deep, sapphire-blue eyes. Her soft, pouty lips had been painted a soft pink, and a delicate blush rested on her freckled cheeks. _Those freckles..._ Jumin coughed, reluctant to think the word "beautiful." He very quickly pushed the idea out of his mind. He held out the bouquet. "Another small token of gratitude."

  
Sun-Mi accepted the blossoms, casting her gaze to the side as a light blush tinted her cheeks. "It wasn't a big deal."

  
"It was to me."

  
After the flowers had been put into some water, Sun-Mi accompanied Jumin down to the waiting car, a little surprised when he opened the door for her himself. She slid into the seat, smoothing the skirt of her dress underneath her, not quite sure what else to expect out of the evening.

  
\---

  
_Madeleine's?! Seriously?!_ Somehow, Sun-Mi still managed to be surprised that Jumin had chosen such an expensive restaurant. _All I did was take care of his cat for a couple of days! Does he go to this much trouble for everyone who cat-sits for him?_ She felt slightly uncomfortable with how he spoiled her, but realized that he probably dined in these sorts of establishments often. Once Sun-Mi thought about it, she realized that it was rather silly to think he'd take her to your average bar  & grill. This was probably no different than how he'd treat a well-respected client.

  
"Excellent to see you again, Mr. Han," the waiter greeted. _So he does come here often..._ "And what would you like to drink this evening, Miss Dang?"

  
"Scotch, neat, please."

  
"Do you have Lowland 30?" Jumin interjected.

  
"We do."

  
"Please give her that." Sun-Mi looked at him, confused and slightly appalled that he had felt that he could order for her. "It's a very good scotch," he reassured her.

  
The waiter returned quickly, with the scotch, a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, and two glasses. "I'm guessing we'll be having seafood?" Sun-Mi asked, raising an eyebrow.

  
"Clever," Jumin chuckled. "Three of the four courses; unless you want seafood for dessert as well." Sun-Mi grimaced, and he laughed again. "So tell me, how did things go with Elizabeth, really?"

  
Sun-Mi took a sip of her scotch. _Damn, he's right. It is a very good scotch._ "Like I said before, things went very smoothly. She seemed comfortable right away. She didn't ever act irritated or distressed, and I don't think being left alone during the day made her anxious."

  
"That's good to hear. I know it probably seems strange, but Elizabeth is like family to me. I don't know what I would do if something happened to her." Jumin stared into his glass of wine.

  
"It's not really that weird. I think a lot of people feel that way about their pets."

  
Jumin knew that his love for his cat went above and beyond what most people would consider normal, but he didn't push the issue. He wasn't exactly in the mood to spill his guts about Elizabeth, and Rika, and V, and everything that had happened. He forced a laugh. "In some ways, I think I get along with Elizabeth better than I get along with my family."

  
"I suppose your family situation _is_ kind of complicated, isn't it?" She reached for one of the oysters the waiter had brought out a few minutes before.

  
As much as he wasn't ready to fully reveal everything he had experienced, Jumin felt comfortable talking to Sun-Mi. Her comparable upbringing made her a good confidant, and he could trust her to be honest with him. She'd never been one to mince words with him. "My father divorced my mother when I was very young. His mistress became my stepmother. Neither of my parents were exactly...hands-on." He sighed. "My father was always busy working and my mother would rather spend her time nursing a bottle of vodka. I was basically raised by a string of governesses and the service staff of our estate."

  
"So...I'm guessing you don't have the best relationship with your father?"

  
"That's not exactly true. He's actually a good father...just...not a good husband."

  
Sun-Mi was quiet for a moment, downing the last of her scotch. "I think my father would have been a good husband."

  
Jumin tilted his head. "Wait...what do you mean?"

  
Sun-Mi bit her lip, hesitant to share this aspect of her life. She wondered if Jumin, with his perfect pedigree, would be disgusted by who she really was. "What I mean is...my father and my mother weren't married when I was born." She reached for the wine bottle, and Jumin poured her a glass. "My parents met while my father was traveling abroad, in France, and... I happened. After I was born, my mother decided that she didn't want to be a mother anymore, and she left. I don't think my father ever really got over her."

  
"I had no idea that your family was just as messed-up as mine." Topping off his own glass, Jumin chuckled. "At least we have a good excuse for how we are now."

  
"I'll drink to that."

  
"I love my father, but he can be so dense when it comes to women. He's talking about divorcing my stepmother now."

  
"Really?"

  
"Apparently he's got another new girlfriend. Some actress named Glam Choi."

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi grimaced inwardly, feeling a little guilty for holding on to so much hostility toward Jumin before. They weren't so different after all, she'd been forced to realize. She wondered if, in some ways, they were the only ones who could really understand one another. Jumin was the first and only person she'd met who knew what it was like to grow up surrounded by wealth and materiality, to be wary of anyone who tried to get close, to rule out romance because there was no way to determine its genuinity. Their family histories, too, seemed just a little too similar.

  
"Is is difficult, sometimes, to be the Chairman's son?" she asked suddenly. Jumin could act like a pompous ass at times, but Sun-Mi allowed herself to question whether maybe it was a defense mechanism, whether deep down, he felt insecure, and overcompensated for it.

  
Jumin blinked, shocked at how quickly Sun-Mi had cut directly to the core of it. As much as she had frustrated him before, he respected her deeply now. He trusted her. She, of all people, actually seemed to understand, without him even having to say a single word. "I'll always wonder...if I deserve all this. If I deserve to be the Executive Director, or if I only got the job because of my father. That's why I work so hard. I don't want anyone to question whether I'm qualified."

  
The last of Sun-Mi's hostility and reservation faded away, replaced with something she couldn't exactly explain. Friendship? Affection? Appreciation? _We'll go with appreciation, and respect._ Realizing that she actually enjoyed Jumin's company, she wanted to punch herself in the face. She felt weird about it, but there was no denying it. She'd have to call Mina later, just to talk through it.

  
The waiter returned to them again, bringing dessert. He placed a ramekin of creme brulee in front of each of them, describing how each confection was made with orange liqueur and drizzled with belgian chocolate. Sun-Mi took her spoon and tapped through the glassy layer of caramelized sugar, taking a bite of the sweet pudding underneath. A tiny bit caught on her upper lip, and she smiled sheepishly, dabbing her mouth with her napkin. After several glasses of wine, Jumin couldn't help noticing that, on Sun-Mi's face, the pudding looked rather like...something else. He very quickly disregarded that idea. _I shouldn't be having such vulgar thoughts._

  
Still, the evening had passed so quickly, and he felt disappointed to see it end. Sun-Mi's presence was...soothing. She was a comfort to him; it seemed like everything else faded away and Jumin could finally relax. Sun-Mi was a lot like Elizabeth in this way, but Sun-Mi could actually respond when Jumin spoke to her, offer her own opinions and ideas.

  
He genuinely enjoyed being with her. _In a strictly platonic sense, of course._


	43. Perspective

_Ping!_ V finished knotting the laces of his shoes and slipped his phone out of the pocket of his bag. He read the brief text message, still feeling giddy every time he was able to actually see the text on his phone, rather than having it read back to him by the device's robotic voice. " _I'm parked out front._ " V stood and pulled a thick sweater over his head before hoisting his massive camera bag onto his shoulder, checking to make sure his stainless steel water bottle was tucked securely in the outer pocket.

  
It was only a little past eight, but Kat was already bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. She perched in the driver's seat of her bright yellow jeep, sipping on her second coffee of the morning. Goober had seemed less that thrilled to be relegated to the back seat, but Kat wasn't about to make V sit in back so that her dog could ride shotgun. That would just be a dick move. "Come onnnnn! Get your butt down here!" she whined, as if V could hear her. She'd been looking forward to this for the past two days, and she was ready to get this show on the road

  
As if following her commands, V exited the front doors of the building, spotting Kat in her vehicle and heading over. He climbed into the passenger seat, setting his camera bag carefully on the floor. "Sweater Buddies!" Kat grinned, gesturing to her own deep orange cable-knit.

  
V laughed softly. "And how much coffee have YOU had this morning."

  
Kat held up two fingers as she took another gulp from her travel mug. Goober's big, square head jutted through the space between the driver and passenger seats, his massive paws pressed against the center console. His black snout snuffled against V's arm, and his thick tail began to swing back and forth as he recognized the man's scent. "Well, hello to you too," V quipped, reaching over to scratch the dog under his chin.

  
As he was occupied with her dog, Kat took a moment to look at V's new glasses. The clubmaster style suited him, she thought. He looked sophisticated, but still so... _V_. She pushed her own tortoiseshell clubmasters back into position, as they had slid down the bridge of her nose a little, and grinned. "I like the glasses."

  
Realizing the funny coincidence, V couldn't help but chuckle. "Great minds think alike, I guess."

  
"So how are they working out for you?"

  
"They're helping a lot. I was actually able to read your text message. I'm about back to what my eyesight was like before my injury."

  
"That's great!"

  
It was great. The world to which his eyes had been opened seemed brighter than he had left it, perhaps because his last experiences of it had been dulled by Rika's abuse. He adjusted his glasses, noticing for the first time the hundreds of freckles speckled across Kat's nose and cheekbones, the little bump in the bridge of her nose, the crookedness of her grin. He wanted to photograph her.

  
\---

  
They had a long drive ahead of them, or maybe not so long, depending on whether you asked V or Kat. To Kat, an hour-and-a-half drive was a quick jaunt. She popped in a CD and settled in, maneuvering her way out of the city. The sprawling metropolis soon gave way to suburbs, and suburbs to a more rural area. The mountains in the distance soon came into view. Goober curled up in the backseat to nap, and Kat looked over to see that V had dozed off as well, head leaning lazily against the window. _I guess I did make him get up pretty early today..._ She turned down the volume on the stereo, watching the road carefully to avoid potholes, letting the two sleepy boys in her car have a bit of a rest.

  
Finally, Kat reached the parking area for the nature trails, and pulled into an open spot. Gently, she nudged V to wake him. "Hmm...wha?" he sniffed, sitting up quickly, knocking his glasses askew.

  
"You fell asleep while I was driving."

  
"Oh, sorry," he murmured, reaching for his camera bag.

  
"You're fine," Kat laughed, poking Goober in his flank. She slid out of the vehicle, going around back to get her things from the back seat. She grabbed her trusty old daypack, checking to make sure it contained everything she would need, and removed her DSLR from its bag, hanging the strap cross-body style across herself. Kat clipped Goober's leash to his collar, and led him outside. He yawned and stretched, shaking himself and opening his mouth to allow his long tongue to loll out. V had the same idea, stretching his arms over his head and rolling up onto his tip-toes.

  
Kat pointed to a trail marked with a green arrow. "Maybe it would be best to stick to one of the less-rugged trails for now? You're still healing, after all." V agreed with her. Dr. Kim had told him that after a few weeks, he could return to a normal level of physical activity, but had warned him against anything too strenuous. He nodded in response to Kat's suggestion.

  
They started up the dirt path, stopping every little bit for Goober to sniff, or for Kat to capture an eerie shadow, or for V to get some shots of a particularly interesting tree. Ahead, the trail became a little rockier, its dirt a little looser. "Maybe you should walk in front," Kat suggested. "If you slip and start to fall, I can catch you."

  
V felt a little silly at the idea of needing someone to look after him, as if he were an old man, but he knew that it would be best to act cautiously. That was Kat, always thinking of him. V moved ahead of her, and she followed behind leisurely, letting him set their pace. He heard her footsteps cease momentarily, and he looked back to see that she had paused, holding her arm out to keep Goober calm. "V, look," she whispered. He took a few steps back to join her. Kat pointed into a nearby tree, where a fluffy, young owl stared back at them with intense golden eyes. She quickly swapped out the lens on her camera and click-click-click-click-clicked, capturing the rare moment.

  
After capturing a few images of his own, V looked back at Kat, who stared at the bird in wild-eyed wonder, a big, dumb smile plastered across her face. "This is so fuckin' cool," she whispered. She grinned widely at V, and he smiled back gently, thankful for this beautiful moment, just for the two of them. "Hi, Baby," Kat murmured to the owl, giving a little wave. It ruffled its feathers up in return, wiggling from side to side. "Oop. Time to go. He's giving us no-no's," she muttered, nudging V to continue forward.

  
As it turned out, Kat had been right about V walking in front. He stepped wrong, putting all of his weight on a loose rock, and went stumbling backward. Kat caught him around the middle, keeping him from hitting the ground. Her arms clutched around his chest, and- _oh shit, are those her..._ pressed against his back. A jolt of electricity zapped through V at the unexpected embrace.

  
V gasped at the sudden sensation, a soft little gasp, bordering on a moan. Kat bit her lip at the sound, her eyes widening as her face grew hot. _He smells like lavender..._ Quickly, she steadied the man in her arms, trying not to let the warm blush show. _You can't go making noises like that, V!_ She was relieved to see that his face was as red as her own as he laid his hand on the back of his neck.

  
"Sorry..." he muttered sheepishly.

  
"It's alright."

  
They continued on, silent save for their footsteps and Goober's panting. They fell into a pattern of pointing things out that the other missed, especially things that each thought would interest the other- a gnarled stump, a brightly-colored bird, a spot where the sunlight filtered through the trees just so... They were a good team. _I'm so glad you agreed to come with me._

  
Eventually, the path ended, concluding with a lookout point high on the hill. From here, you could see for miles, the city of Seoul glittering in the distance. Kat snapped a few shots, the vista well-lit by the mid-day sun. V gripped the guardrail, gazing out over the panorama.

  
He gave a little smile, taking in the view. He felt warm, and not just because of his heavy sweater. He felt as though he'd actually made some progress. It was hard to notice the healing day-to-day; it was so gradual, but now, he was able to see how far he had come. Maybe he just needed a different perspective. After a few moments, V put his finger on what exactly he felt in this moment: gratitude. Grateful that he'd gotten a second chance. Grateful that he had people in his life willing to push him to do better. Grateful that this woman next to him had suddenly popped into his world, reminding him that life was so beautiful despite the anguish and heartbreak.

  
Kat pretended not to notice the few happy tears that escaped the corners of V's eyes.

  
\---

  
The peaceful moment was quickly interrupted by the loud growling of Kat's stomach. She grimaced. "I guess it's time to eat." She sprawled out on a nearby bench, unzipping her pack, removing a bag of snacks. She very nearly tried to toss an apple toward V, but caught herself before she ended up beaning him in the head with it. She held out the bag instead, showing its contents. "Fruit, nuts, granola..." she offered.

  
"You got almonds in there?"

  
"Plain salted or ginger wasabi?"

  
"Just the salted."

  
Goober stared at them as they ate, trying to guilt them into sharing with him. After a solid seven minutes of puppy-dog eyes, Kat relented, selecting a banana from the bag. She peeled it and broke off a chunk, letting the dog eat gently from the palm of her hand. Kat ate the rest of the fruit herself, placing the empty peel on Goober's head like a silly hat. She laughed at her own joke, snapping a picture.

  
"Lemme see." V reached his hand out, asking for her camera. Kat obliged him, passing her DSLR over. He laughed at the goofy picture she had just taken, then began clicking through the other images she had captured that day. They were fascinating and eerie, sublime. V couldn't help smiling as he admired her photographic skill. "These are great. I'd like to see more of your recent work sometime."

  
Kat shrugged. "I've got every photo I've ever taken back at my house. You wanna come over later?"

  
"Y-yeah! That sounds like fun."

  
"Cool. You can meet the rest of my dogs."

  
"Ah... How many do you have?" V asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Four," Kat replied, nonchalant.

  
"Four?! So you have two others besides Goober and Daisy?"

  
"Yeah. They're just a little too weird to take on outings like this. It'd be like herding kindergartners," she explained.

  
"You really are something else, V muttered, shaking his head and grinning.

  
"So I've been told." Kat smirked.

  
\---

  
After eating, they lounged about for a while, Kat leaning back in a sunny patch, eyes closed, and V gazing over the lookout, puffing on his pipe. Kat dozed off, and Goober wandered over to sit next to V, tail thumping against the ground. He rubbed the dogs head gently, earning a wet kiss in return. "You wanna know a secret, Goober?" The dog cocked his head, ears standing at attention. "Your mom is an odd one, but she gave me a real wake-up call. I'm glad to have gotten to meet her."

  
A little while later, Kat woke from her nap, to find her dog sitting next to V, his arm wrapped around the animal affectionately. She took a surreptitious photo, thinking about how nicely it would compliment the other photo of V with Daisy. She began to gather her things. "Ready to go?"

  
V turned his head, those blue eyes peering at Kat over his prescription sunglasses. "I'm ready."

  
Carefully, they began making their way back down the way they had come. Feeling a little overheated, Kat tugged off her sweater and stuffed it into her bag, left with her long-sleeved t-shirt- her favorite one, with the bear riding a bicycle. Gradually, the days were starting to get warmer. The harshest part of the Winter had passed, and Spring would soon arrive.

  
They piled back into the jeep, feeling a little worn-out even though they had taken an easier path. Kat drove while V looked through his new photos, seeming to be pretty proud of his work. Unfortunately, they made it back into the city just in time for rush hour, and spent a good thirty minutes sitting in traffic, though Kat's up-tempo blues-rock CD made the time sitting still a bit more bearable.

  
Finally, Kat pulled up in front of a small house, tucked between several tall, lush trees, like some hidden forest cottage. She unloaded her things and let Goober out of the back seat, unclipping the carabiner with her keys from the loop on her backpack strap. "Ok, get ready for dog time." She shuffled into the house, pushing the animals back with her legs and motioning for V to follow her inside.

  
A beautiful, fluffy golden retriever bounded over to him, weaving around him, giving the biggest doggy smile V had ever seen. His feathery tail bounced back and forth between V's leg and the wall of the entryway.

  
"That's Teddy. He just met you, but he loves you, because he loves everybody." Kat laughed to herself. "If robbers ever broke into my house, Teddy would help them case the joint just so that he could be part of the team."

  
A very deep "Boof" came from below, and V looked down to see the droopiest, wrinkliest hound he'd ever seen. He sniffed V's shoes tentatively before waddling away, taking care not to trip on his overly-long ears.

  
"And now you've met Beauregard."

  
V cracked up. "That. Is a _hilarious_ name for that dog."

  
"Right?!" She gestured to the living room. "Make yourself at home. All my photo albums are on the shelves on the far wall. I'll start something for dinner." As Kat wandered off into the kitchen, V surveyed the room. He pulled a few albums from the shelves and looked around, deciding where to sit. Clearly the chair with the pillow bearing the designation "Beauregard's Chair" was off-limits. He instead settled onto the vintage velvet couch. Alone, the mustard-yellow color of the velvet made the piece unbearably tacky, but in Kat's quirky, carefully-curated living room, it worked.

  
V scanned the artwork absolutely covering the walls- framed photographs of Kat's, dried flowers, paintings, and... He did a double-take, seeing a very-familiar photograph. A cool forest saturated with the mist of a nearby waterfall adorned the wall. At first, V thought he had to be mistaken, but the signature at the bottom of the image confirmed it. "Jihyun Kim." V felt an odd thrill at seeing his work in Kat's home, though she had no clue it was his, as she only knew him as "V." His work was a part of her domestic life, from the time she sipped her coffee in the early morning until she put on her pajamas at night. It made V feel just a little bit special.

  
Beauregard's nails clicked against the hardwood floor as his wrinkly paws padded across the room, and, with some effort, he managed to jump into his chair. He sat there, staring at V like some disapproving father whose daughter had brought home a boy for the first time. V stared back at the dog, feeling a little odd. Satisfied, Beauregard plopped his head down, and was soon snoring loudly.

  
V opened one of the albums, taking the time to carefully examine each image. It seemed he had pulled some of Kat's photos from her time as an undergrad. She looked so young, though, somehow her smile in the pictures didn't glow as brightly as it did now. V didn't remember ever having seen these photos before; these must have been taken for her own enjoyment. He now had the opportunity to see a side of Kat and her photography that others never would. There was something strangely intimate about it.

  
Something in one of the pictures caught his eye, however. In this particular image, Kat wore a flashy party dress, standing in the middle of an empty parking lot under the cover of night, lifting a champagne bottle to her lips. However, it wasn't the subject matter that held V's attention. It was the thin silver band she wore on her left ring finger.

  
V's blood ran cold. Kat had never mentioned a husband, and there certainly wasn't one in the picture now. He would have met such a man at Kat's show. She would have mentioned him. Now, it was clear that Kat lived alone with her dogs. Maybe V was mistaken. Maybe it was some other sort of ring, one that just happened to fit that particular finger. That didn't seem too likely, though.

  
Regardless of the truth, V knew better than to ask. If there was, indeed, a husband in Kat's past, that was her own private business. If the time ever came that she wanted to talk about it, V would be ready and willing to listen. For now, he decided to keep his mouth shut. He felt sick at the idea that Kat might be a widow.

  
Having decided what to cook, Kat went back into the living room to ask V if he would like something to drink. Before she could say anything, she noticed the odd look on his face. "Is everything okay?"

  
"Y-yeah. Everything's fine." V offered a smile that Kat didn't quite believe.


	44. Seedy

\---

This wasn't quite how Seven had expected to spend his Wednesday night, loitering outside a seedy dive bar as patrons came and went, some of them already drunk, though it was barely 9:00. He was an hour early, but that was how he preferred things. You never missed anything if you were the first to arrive. Seven had done his best to blend in with the scene, swapping his oversized hoodie for one of the few nicer shirts he owned. He stared at his phone as he waited, checking the messenger app, a handfull of notifications from Vanderwood, a few notes he had saved on his phone.

  
Normally, Seven wouldn't be in a place like this, surrounded by loud, drunk strangers. However, his investigation of a certain Mina Park had led him here tonight. Apparently, Mina was in a band. They weren't really a big deal or anything. They had no contracts, no representation, but they did play the indie bar scene from time to time. Seven's curiosity had gotten the better of him, and now he was here. By all appearances, Mina tended to keep her online activity entirely quarantined from the rest of her life. Seven couldn't bring himself to believe that that was truly the case. By his understanding, being a hacker was such a pervasive thing. Eventually, it seeped into all corners of the person's life. If this performance had been arranged as a cover-up for anything unsavory, God Seven would know about it.

  
Yes, he'd continued to dig for information about Mina since their last meeting. It wasn't like he was creeping on her or anything. It was merely very apparent that Mina had a very specific set of high-level skills, and, that being the case, Seven needed to keep an eye on her. While he didn't think it likely that she had ties to Mint Eye, he still couldn't shake the possibility from his mind. In any case, this woman possessed infiltration skills that possibly surpassed his own, and she had access to all of C&R's most sensitive information. _Everyone's got a price, after all._

  
Seven folded his arms impatiently. His friends certainly did take their sweet time showing up. He'd managed to drag Yuki, Zen, and Yoosung along for the ride, as Seven thought it less suspicious if he showed up here as part of a group. If Mina picked him out of a crowd, he could easily brush it off as being pulled along with them, as opposed to being a creep who had looked up all of her personal information online. Even though it wasn't like that. _Totally isn't like that._

  
Finally, Seven's entourage decided to make an appearance, rounding the corner, chattering loudly. He hadn't completely explained his purpose here tonight, but his friends had come along all the same, seemingly happy to spend time with him. They greeted him with their usual vigor, and he felt a little guilty that he couldn't return their enthusiasm. This should have all been temporary...

  
Yuki led the way inside, seeming excited to get her drink on. A burly man stopped them at the door, checking IDs and charging the small cover fee. Inside, loud music already blared over the speakers, though the band had not yet taken the stage. The interior of the bar didn't seem so seedy. It was quirky with its exposed brick and beer can string lights, and clean, at the very least. A tattooed and bearded man with gauged ears served up signature cocktails in mason jars from behind the bar. Were they still in Seoul, or had they been mystically transported to Los Feliz?

  
Seven's companions elected to begin their drinking straightaway. Zen started collecting drink orders. "First round's on me. A vodka-soda for you, babe?" Yuki nodded, and Zen pointed at Yoosung next.

  
"Ah, a whiskey?" Yuki looked at him in disbelief. "Since when do you like whiskey?" Yoosung turned a deep shade of red.

  
"So, a whiskey, then?" Zen confirmed, exchanging a glance with his girlfriend.

  
"Get him a whiskey sour, heavy on the sour," she suggested.

  
Zen turned to Seven next. "Just a Dr. Pepper, if they have it. I don't really drink."

  
"Got it."

  
While Zen occupied himself at the bar, and the performance time grew nearer, a couple of women came out onto the stage. Seven recognized them from photos he'd seen online; they were bandmates of Mina's. Mina herself was nowhere to be seen for now. No black wayfarer lenses, no flash of purple hair. One of the women opened the door leading to the back room. She called to Mina, confirming that she wanted the black-and-white Static-Caster for tonight's performance.

  
"How did you find out about this event?" Yuki asked, breaking Seven's concentration.

  
"It came up during an investigation. I've been researching one of the band members. It might sound crazy, but she's a master hacker. I've been keeping an eye on her."

  
"Do you think she's..." Yuki trailed off, a worried look in her golden eyes.

  
"Connected to Mint Eye? I don't think it's likely, but considering her skill level, I think it's best to pay attention to her."

  
This wasn't a lie, of course. Seven's interest was perfectly legitimate. He'd kept the parameters of his searches entirely professional. If anything, he spent too much time on this search. Mina Park was an anomaly, an outlier, and this frustrated him. Seven convinced himself that it was time well spent, but maybe he should be spending more time on his real work...

  
\---

  
"It buuurrrrns!" Yoosung whined, having taken another too-large gulp of the whiskey cocktail he'd insisted on imbibing.

  
"Hyun, didn't you tell them to go easy on the whiskey?"

  
Zen shrugged. "I told him, but he still dumped an entire shot into the glass."

  
Once alcohol had entered the equation, Seven quickly found distraction from the many things clogging his mind, and watched his friends' antics with quiet amusement. Yoosung had clearly bitten off more than he could chew ordering hard liquor, and now whimpered pathetically after each sip. Zen and Yuki became more flirtatious and less inhibited respectively with each drink (they'd been here less than an hour and they were each a few drinks in). Seven worried that they'd be making out in the middle of the bar by the end of the night. Everyone in RFA somehow knew more than they wanted about Yuki and Zen's sex life, but hopefully they weren't into public acts.

  
As the 10:00 hour quickly approached, Mina and her bandmates finally started to filter out of the back room onto the stage, checking the tuning and taking a few minutes to warm up. Mina hung her shiny black-and-white electric guitar across her body, testing the sound of the strings before plugging it into the nearby amp. She tugged at the hem of her short, black dress, which failed to cover the stockings and garters squeezing into the flesh of her thighs.

  
Seven watched attentively, chin resting on top of his folded hands. Mina positioned herself at the front of the stage, adjusting the mic stand to accommodate her height. She assumed a power stance, legs apart, and looked back at her friends, confirming their readiness before screaming into the microphone.

  
"1,2,3,4! 1,2,3,4!" Her hand flew down from the mic to the strings of her guitar, shredding savagely. Her face remained peaceful, as if this complex melody came as easily to her as a leisurely bicycle ride. Mina's violet hair shined brigher under the lights, and her long eyelashes cast soft shadows across her cheekbones when she would close her eyes, losing herself in the music.

  
Her voice changed from song to song. First low and blues-y, then higher and airier, then a harsh scream. She was a woman of many talents it seemed. The weird thing was, she seemed truly passionate about this. She seemed to be having a good time. They couldn't be getting paid much for this, and Mina wasn't exactly desperate for money. Her financials indicated that her position with C &R offered her fiscal security. It baffled Seven, the idea of spending so much time and effort on something just for the fun of it. Then again, she probably had time for that sort of thing. She worked as an I.T. technician, not as an intelligence agent whose employer constantly imposed more and more responsibilities. Mina probably got to sleep every night.

  
Seven focused intently, brow furrowing in thought and concentration. Despite her intoxication, this wasn't lost on Yuki. She noticed her friend's intense concentration. Clearly, he was doing some investigating, as he had indicated before. What kind of investigation, however, was a different question entirely. She could tell that he watched the purple-haired singer/guitarist closely. Could she really be a master hacker?

  
"So, what's the story here?"

  
"I told you, that woman came up in an investigation," he answered, not breaking his concentration.

  
"Sure." There was more to this story, that much was certain.

  
\---

  
Amidst enthusiastic applause, Mina announced that the band would be taking a brief intermission. "In the meantime, go get drunk so we sound better. Don't forget to tip your bartender." The band scurried off the stage, some meeting supportive friends nearby, others escaping to the back room. Seven decided to take the opportunity to top off his Dr. Pepper, and wandered off to the bar  
As he waited, a familiar face appeared next to him. "I didn't expect to see you here. You miss me that much?"

  
"Don't think too much of it. I've been trying to track down a hacker, and with your skill set, I figured I should keep an eye out."

  
Mina raised an eyebrow. "I'm flattered. I would say that you don't need to worry about me, but I doubt you'd be satisfied with that."

  
The bartender returned with a fresh Dr. Pepper. "You'd be right."

  
"So are you gonna buy me a drink, or what?"

  
Seven smirked, and motioned to the bartender. "Whatever she wants."

  
"Red Bear Vodka."

  
"That'll give you a heart attack one of these days."

  
"Meh," Mina shrugged, picking a piece of fuzz off of her striped stockings. "So why exactly are you tracking down this mystery hacker, anyway?"

  
"I can't tell you that."

  
"Oh, come on!" she whined. "I'm sure you've got enough information on me by now to know that I'm not your guy."

  
"Oh, I've got plenty of information." Seven crossed his arms and grinned smugly, staring at Mina down the bridge of his nose.

  
She placed his black-and-yellow smart phone back onto the bar, sliding it toward him. "Well, if you ever feel like sharing, give me a call." She gave a wicked grin. "Saeyoung Choi."

  
Seven almost inhaled his soda. He put his glass back down, coughing loudly. "How did you-"

  
Mina shrugged. "You've got your secrets, and I've got mine." She picked up her cocktail, turning to leave. "See you, Space Cowboy."

  
\---

  
Though the band's second set had already begun, Seven's heart hadn't stopped fluttering since Mina had left him. He felt all tingly, like someone had hooked him up to a car battery. His brain was a mess of racing thoughts, and he couldn't seem to focus the way he had before. Had someone drugged him? _No, that would be ridiculous._ After all, if he'd been dosed with something, he'd likely be feeling lethargic, when in reality he'd never felt more awake. Seven's face felt like it was on fire, and dizziness overtook him.

  
He began to notice things that he'd overlooked before- the sharpness of Mina's green eyes, the highlight on her full, pink lips... _So kissable..._ He was suddenly very aware of her large bust size, and the incredible cleavage they created. _A "D" cup?_ Seven's eyes drifted back down to those tight garters struggling to hold up Mina's stockings. He wondered if she wore a lacy garter belt underneath.

  
Seven squeezed his eyes shut. Where had all of these indecent thoughts come from? Maybe someone had slipped him something after all; Ecstasy, maybe. But then again, he wouldn't feel so uncomfortable with these thoughts if that was the case. His hands felt clammy. He was frightened, and confused. What had changed in those five, ten minutes he'd spent at the bar. Something was clearly different now. He needed a moment to get his thoughts in order.

  
Excusing himself, Seven speed-walked off to the bathroom. He hurried to the sink, turning it on and splashing cold water onto his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning and shaking his head.  _Oh God...What's happening to me?_


	45. A Sucker for Straight Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The final scene of this chapter does contain mild sexual content, so be warned if you don't want to read that sort of thing.

\---

"Ugh, _already_?" Jaehee groaned, staring at the fresh display of bathing suits. "It's only February!"

  
She and Anna had originally intended to meet for dinner, but since their chosen restaurant was located inside this shopping mall, they'd inevitably ended up wandering around after their meal. After realizing that her favorite beauty store had a location in this center, Anna had said something about needing to pick up a new eyebrow pencil, and the rest was history. _Betcha can't have just one!_

  
Anna laughed softly at Jaehee's reaction, wondering if her friend had the same opinion about Christmas items coming out in November. True, stores did bring out their Spring and Summer items a little earlier than necessary, but at least this gave shoppers a little more time to save their money and plan for the upcoming seasons. In all honesty, Anna probably needed a new bathing suit for this year. The one-piece she wore when swimming laps remained in decent condition, but her casual suit, the one she wore to the beach or when relaxing in a pool with friends, had become a little worse for wear, its color faded and its elastic beginning to break down.

  
"I...might actually look for something."

  
"Oh, Anna, no! Don't let them sucker you in to their schemes!" Jaehee groaned, pretending to be exasperated.

  
Anna smirked, disappearing into the racks of skimpy spandex garments, her friend following behind reluctantly. "What type should I get?"

  
Jaehee shrugged. "What kind do you normally like?"

  
"In the past, I've usually gotten one-pieces, but unfortunately, those don't usually have underwire cups, which I like." Anna gestured to her chest. "For obvious reasons."

  
"They make underwire bathing suits?" Jaehee gasped, her eyes growing wide.

  
"Yeah! Only problem is, they mostly make those in bikini style. At least, if you want a suit that's also cute."

  
"I mean...I guess it couldn't hurt to check and see what they have..."

  
Anna began browsing through the racks, having a difficult time finding anything that met her specifications. It seemed that if she wanted an underwire bathing suit, she'd have to choose between a suit that showed a little more skin than she normally liked, and one that seemed more appropriate for a 40-year-old mother of two.

  
"Find anything yet?" Jaehee asked from a few racks away.

  
"Not yet."

  
"Are you dead-set on having an underwire?"

  
"It depends. Did you find something you think I might like?"

  
Jaehee returned to her side, carrying a bright pink monokini suit. Anna had always liked that style, but had always been conflicted about giving it a try. "It's really cute, but I have to wonder...Do you think it'd be inappropriate? With my bust size, I mean?"

  
"Who cares?" Jaehee shrugged. "What's important is that you feel comfortable and cute in it. It doesn't matter what other people think about it. You're a grown woman. You can make your own decisions. If you like it, you should at least try it on."

  
"Have you found anything for yourself?" Anna asked, taking the hanger from her friend.

  
"Not really. It's just like you said. Most of the underwire styles are bikinis."

  
"I guess you prefer something with more coverage?"

  
"To be honest...I've always wanted to try a two-piece. I've just never gotten the guts to do it."

  
Anna grinned. "I think you should follow your own advice." She motioned for Jaehee to follow her back over to the supportive bikini tops. "It doesn't have to be a skimpy little string bikini." She held up a matching top and set of bottoms, yellow with little black dots. "Something like this?"

  
"I did think that one was cute when I looked at it before."

  
"Then give it a shot! I'm sure it'll be cute." She held out the garments before heading off to the fitting rooms.

  
Anna waited on the bench in the changing area's closed-off lobby as Jaehee switched her clothing for the suit that Anna had suggested. She knew her friend was bound to look super cute in whatever she put on, but she vaguely wondered if she'd pushed a bikini onto her friend for selfish reasons. Did she want Jaehee to try new things for her own benefit, or did she just want to see her in a showy bathing suit? Anna convinced herself it was the former. _Though it's probably a little of both..._

  
When Jaehee came out of the cubicle, Anna was very grateful to be a real-life grown woman, rather than a teenage boy in an anime. Otherwise, it would have been nosebleed city. The padded, underwire top provided a comfortable amount of support and coverage, but still emphasized Jaehee's cleavage in a very appealing manner. Even with the support, her breasts still bounced a little with every step, and she seemed to notice, turning a little bit pink once she was visible.

  
She was fit and slender everywhere else, her bathing suit bottoms fitting like a glove. The little ruffles around the leg holes added a cute touch, laying softly against the flesh of her thighs. She gave a little twirl in front of Anna, who adopted the mother of all poker faces. "What do you think?"

  
Anna gave a mild, encouraging smile. "I think it's cute! But what you think is more important."

  
"I think...I'm going to get it." Jaehee disappeared back into the fitting room to change back into her street clothes. As she did so, Anna shook her head, trying to purge every impure thought from her mind. Was she attracted to the other woman? Yes. Objectively, would she enjoy doing...things...with her? Yes. But...Jaehee was straight. Anna knew this, and she was at peace with that fact. Still, she couldn't help the more...instinctive ideas plaguing her mind.

  
\---

  
Jaehee took Anna's place on the bench while she changed. She knew the suit would look fantastic on her friend. Anna was a gorgeous woman. Anything she wore was bound to look like it was made for her. Somehow, Jaehee still found herself surprised when her friend came out into the lobby.

  
The stretchy, pink fabric hugged Anna in all the right places. To use a word that Jaehee never thought she would use for another woman, she looked downright sexy. Despite the suit's lack of wire, it still created prominent cleavage, and the line of Anna's breast was clearly visible from the side. _I think the word is "side-boob?"_

  
Jaehee could feel heat rising in her face. She genuinely thought her friend looked sexy, but was it merely in an objective manner? Was it an "ah, yes. many people would find you sexually appealing" or an " _I_ find you sexually appealing" sort of thought? Did Jaehee want to undo the string tie at the nape of Anna's neck with her own teeth, or did she merely realize that such a desire might arise in others? Never in her life had she had thoughts like this, and she didn't quite know how to read them.

  
"Well?" Anna waited patiently for her friend's verdict.

  
"Y-You should get it!" she blurted out, nodding vigorously.

  
"Ok, then!" Anna grinned, amused by her friend's enthusiasm.

  
Even after she had switched back into her regular clothing, Jaehee couldn't help but continue to picture Anna in that bathing suit. That knowledge was there now, and it didn't seem to want to go anywhere soon. Even after they parted ways to head home, the image remained burned into Jaehee's retinas. Something was different now. She shook her head; she was probably just exhausted from too much work. Certainly things would be back to normal tomorrow...

  
As she arrived home, a curious thought occurred to Jaehee. She felt tingly in a very familiar way, but she couldn't accept that it might be exactly what it seemed like. She tried to put the idea out of mind, but the age-old dilemma presented itself: the more Jaehee actively tried not to think about this subject, the more it grew in the forefront of her mind.

  
She could always check, and answer the question for herself, but then again, she'd know eventually, wouldn't she? Exasperated, Jaehee finally gave up and headed for the bathroom. Hesitantly, she lifted her skirt, just enough to move the fabric of her panties aside. Heart pounding, she slipped two fingers between her legs. She pressed her fingertips against the opening, gasping as she detected a familiar slickness.

  
_What?! Oh my God. Shit._

  
\---

  
Whining with frustration, Anna flipped onto her back, turning to the side briefly to mash her fists against her pillow, trying to even out the distribution of stuffing. It seemed like it had been hours since she'd laid down for the night, but alas, she remained wide awake, brain jumping from topic to topic. Normally, Anna fell asleep easily, within twenty minutes of her head hitting the pillow, but every once in a while, she found herself plagued with restlessness. Tonight was one such night. She'd already tried most of her normal tricks- meditation, focusing on relaxing every muscle in her body one at a time, even counting sheep. Nothing seemed to work.

  
Then again, there was one more thing Anna could try. It'd been a few days since the last time; maybe frustration was the problem. Typically, such an issue wouldn't prevent Anna from sleeping, but maybe there was a first time for every thing. She'd be awake for at least another half-hour anyway. It couldn't hurt to give it a shot. At the very least, she'd be treated to one form of satisfaction. She untied the ribbon at the waist of her pajama pants and slid them down to her knees, along with her underwear.

  
Sighing, Anna reached her hand down, finding a comfortable position so as to avoid having her fingers cramp up. She started slowly, massaging herself gently between her thumb and forefinger. The arousal came easily; maybe this _had_ been what she needed after all. Unfortunately, though this felt nice, the tension remained stagnant. Anna needed more if she were to push this further.

  
She began to fantasize, her imagination dreaming up a lovely, though generic, feminine form. Anna closed her eyes, picturing large, soft breasts, perky nipples that drew gasping sighs when fondled. She saw a curvy woman, wet between her thighs, desperate to be touched....and yet... None of this seemed to hold Anna's attention for more than a few fleeting moments.

  
Her brain continued to race, in much the same way it had before. She would get back on task, only for her consciousness to wander away again, even to things decidedly non-sexual. Perhaps...generic sexuality wasn't going to do the trick. In the past, it would work if Anna was feeling especially pent-up, but that simply didn't seem to be the case now. If she wanted to finish tonight, she'd have to find something more specific to hold her focus.

  
Her thoughts drifted back to earlier, to Jaehee in that yellow bikini, and lingered there. The stagnant heat between Anna's thighs grew slightly. She didn't want to have to think about Jaehee like that. It felt wrong. However, it seemed to be the only thing that would do the trick. This topic stuck in Anna's mind, holding her interest, increasing her arousal. She found herself slick, finally, and increased the speed of her ministrations, convincing herself that maybe it would be okay just this once...

  
Anna's imagination ran wild, imagining tugging those dotted bottoms just a few inches to the side to allow her fingers... She pictured herself alone on a private beach with Jaehee, both of them wet from more than just the salty ocean water. The heat grew quickly now, and Anna moved her fingers as quickly and intensely as she could. Muffled sighs escaped her lips, and her hips twitched forward just a little, involuntarily.

  
Finally, her back arched in ecstasy, and she moaned loudly as her climax overtook her. Anna would never admit it, but there was a distinct possibility that the name "Jaehee" was murmured softly into the darkness. Once the bliss had ended, Anna groaned for a very different reason. She felt kind of weird about it now. In the end, she really did want Jaehee above all.

  
_This is bad. Why do I have to be such a sucker for straight girls?_


	46. Good News and Bad News

If it seemed like Jumin Han spent a lot of time in the back seat of a black sedan, it was because he did. For security reasons, and because of his societal status, he tended to travel by car, even if his destination was only a few blocks away. After all, what would people say if they saw him out walking the streets in his custom-tailored designer suits? Maybe it was silly and pretentious, but Jumin was used to it. Once again, he found himself resting comfortably in the Napa-leather seat of his usual towncar, being chauffeured about by Driver Kim.

  
Jumin planned to have lunch with his father today. It'd been close to a month now since he'd last seen his father. For two family members who lived in the same city, and who both held high-ranking positions in the same company, they certainly didn't see each other as often as one would expect. Jumin hoped that he'd be able to get his father alone today, not for any other reason than the fact that they hadn't gotten to spend any time just the two of them in quite a while. During their last couple of visits, the Chairman's latest fling, an actress, had been clinging onto him the entire time, and Jumin could barely get a word in edgewise. He didn't exactly enjoy being the third wheel.

  
It was already a few minutes past the reservation time when Jumin finally arrived at the restaurant. He'd been held up leaving the office by a few documents that had been taken their sweet time getting to him for signatures, though Jaehee had dutifully requested them on multiple occasions, and had delivered them to Jumin as soon as they arrived on her desk. He knew his father wouldn't be angry with him for his tardiness, as he understood how things worked in the office environment. All the same, he entered the restaurant with haste, not wanting to keep the Chairman waiting any longer than was absolutely necessary.

  
Jumin's father stood when he reached the table, clasping his hand and cuffing him affectionately on the shoulder. He paused for a moment, them patted his son's arm once more, feeling the firm muscle underneath.

  
"You've been hitting the gym, I see," he chuckled.

  
Jumin grinned. This was the side of his father most people didn't get to see- his more playful, charismatic side. It was easy to dismiss Chairman Han as a playboy, a womanizer, but of course, there was more to him than that. He was a better person than most people gave him credit for; he just had certain...weaknesses. At the very least, he deserved credit as a good father.

  
"Nothing gets past you, Father." Jumin had, in fact, been pushing himself harder during his daily exercise. It gave him something to focus on, treating him, however briefly, to release from his swirling thoughts.

  
"And I'm sure you remember Glam Choi, my girlfriend?" The actress sidled up next to Jumin's father, having returned from powdering her nose or whatever stupid shit she did in her spare time. Jumin gave a curt nod. He did his best to avoid being rude, but he didn't exactly greet her warmly, either.

  
He remained skeptical of Glam for now. By all appearances, she and Chairman Han seemed to be your typical loving couple. Then again, that was how it always seemed in the beginning. However, in time, the Chairman would get bored, and someone younger, sexier, would come along, and the cycle would begin again. Jumin also had to wonder about the purity of Glam's motivations. While she seemed enthusiastic about her relationship with his father, she _was_ an actress. It wouldn't be the first time the man had been completely fooled by a gold-digger.

  
While he didn't show it, Jumin felt a little annoyed as the three of them sat down for lunch. Though his father was completely smitten with Glam, Jumin wanted nothing to do with her, even though she always treated him warmly. _It's all part of the act._ Part of him wanted to leave, just to prove a point, but that was something a petulant child would do, and Jumin, a grown man, knew better than to do that. Today, he would simply have to grin and bear it.

  
Glam smiled at the Chairman. "Darling, would you like to tell Jumin the good news, or should I?"

  
Jumin knew that whatever was said next would not, in fact, be good news.

  
His father clasped his girlfriend's hands in his own. "Jumin, Glam and I have decided to get married. We've been talking about it for a while, but now, it's for certain."

  
Jumin sat frozen for a few moments, not quite sure how to respond. Certainly, the happy couple would be expecting him to enthusiastically congratulate them. That wouldn't happen. Jumin didn't like this; it seemed like a very bad idea to him. Normally, his father's romantic escapades didn't concern him in the slightest, and yet, something in his gut told him that something wasn't quite right about this. After his second marriage during Jumin's childhood, he'd had plenty of mistresses, but he'd never really been serious about any of them. What had changed now?

  
"Aren't you going to congratulate us?" Glam asked, smiling weakly.

  
"No. I'm not."

  
Her eyebrows turned upward, her bottom lip jutting out in a pout. "But-but...Why not?"

  
"I don't think this is a good idea. Are you not aware of my father's past tendencies?"

  
Glam patted the Chairman's hand. "Oh, he's not like that anymore. Men change once they find the right woman."

  
_And you think you're the right woman?_ Jumin decided not to mention how his father's eyes had been following a certain waitress since he'd arrived. "My step-mother thought she was the right woman, too."

  
"Why can't you just be happy for us?!" Glam whined, the tone of her voice shooting up several octaves.

  
Chairman Han patted her hand gently. "Don't worry. He'll come around in time. It's always difficult for the children." His tone was condescending, and Jumin didn't like it. "Jumin, you don't have to ruin things for everyone else just because _you're_ lonely and miserable. You should be happy for us, rather than being so negative."

  
"I'm not lonely or miserable," Jumin retorted, crossing his arms.

  
His tone wasn't exactly convincing, however. Jumin didn't feel particularly _un_ happy with his life as it was now, but it increasingly felt like something was missing. He hadn't figured out yet what exactly it was, but he was sure it couldn't be what his father thought. Jumin couldn't exactly say that he had actively felt true happiness for some time, but he generally felt content. If anything, he felt a little...confused in some way. Once he figured things out, he was sure he'd be back to normal.

  
"You can't honestly think that it'd be so bad to find a nice woman. You're twenty-six years old and I've never seen you so much as go on a date. You ought to be married."

  
"Why? So I can feign contentment for a few years before I run off and find my first mistress? You're the last person who could ever sell me on the idea!"

  
Jumin made it pretty clear to anyone paying attention that he didn't believe in marriage. In fact, one could make the argument that he didn't even believe in love. Then again, he'd never seen romance that didn't end in heartbreak. Between his father's failed marriages, and everything that had happened with Rika, Jumin couldn't be convinced that giving in to the neurochemical impulses could ever result in anything positive. His ideas about love and romance had been warped over time, and it would take a miracle to set them straight again.

  
Through the years, through all of the disappointment , his heart and mind had become a mass of tangled threads. They'd only knotted themselves tighter recently, and the effects were visible. Jumin struggled to relax when left to his own devices, mind racing with restlessness. He felt unstable, unsure of his life, of himself for the first time. Sleep didn't come easily at night.

  
"I-I need to go. Please excuse me." Jumin stood abruptly, brow furrowing as he fiddled with his shirt sleeve.

  
"Jumin, wait."

  
Jumin didn't respond as he strode quickly out of the restaurant. Outside, Driver Kim didn't ask any questions, and Jumin was grateful for the silence during the short drive back to the C&R offices.  
He hurried so in attempt to get back upstairs to his own office that he very nearly mowed Sun-Mi clean over as she arrived back from her own lunch break. She offered a polite greeting, but Jumin neglected to respond. He hurried past her, seeming wrapped up in his own thoughts.

  
As much as he did enjoy her company, she was the last person Jumin wanted to see right now. He didn't want her to look at him with those big, blue eyes. He didn't want to see her eyebrows knitting together in concern. He didn't want to hear the soft, sympathetic tone in her voice as she spoke. It would be too much to handle right now. His heart raced at the very idea.

  
Moreso, he didn't want her to see him like this. Jumin's ego had been wounded, and the cracks in his even, stoic exterior were beginning to show. He didn't want Sun-Mi to see that vulnerability. He felt weak, undignified. He viewed emotion with disdain, and thought it improper to show it carelessly. He was certainly too emotional right now. If he attempted to carry on a conversation with Sun-Mi right now, it'd likely all come pouring out: all the ugliness, the pain, all of the embarrassing, honest feelings.

  
He trusted her. She seemed to understand him more than anyone; their backgrounds were similar enough that they related to one another easily. Jumin felt safe with Sun-Mi...maybe too safe. It was all too easy to be vulnerable with her, to discuss all the things he didn't dare share with anyone else.

  
In the end, that just complicated things even more. Jumin wasn't sure what he felt toward her any more. Sun-Mi was just another thread to add to the clutch, and she tugged and squeezed most of all. He felt _something_ toward her, both foreign and familiar all at once, and yet, still undefinable. It was a warm feeling, but it also made a pit in his stomach. There was excitement, but also dread.

  
Jumin would really prefer not to feel anything at all.


	47. Blond

Yoosung raked a hand through his hair as he gazed into the mirror, frowning. The brown roots of his hair had become increasingly prominent, contrasting sharply with the bleached sections. It had been a good couple of months since his last dye. He'd spent the money to go and have it done professionally, so that the color would look clean and even for the RFA Holiday Party. The lightened parts of his hair still looked fine, but the dark roots made the whole thing look sloppy. It wasn't a cute look.

  
A fresh bleach would probably do Yoosung good. It was probably time, now that he had a solid inch of dark brown protruding from his scalp. However, splurging to have it done by a professional wasn't exactly a practical spending choice right now. If he was going to get rid of these nasty roots, Yoosung would have to do it himself.

  
_But it's such a pain!_ Dyeing one's own hair wasn't an easy task for even the most skilled of MeTube beauty gurus. Thus, it was an especially bumpy ride on the Struggle Bus for someone like Yoosung. He worked slowly, and the bleach would end up sitting on certain layers of hair way longer than others, and those areas would end up damaged and dry, and his hair would end up such a splotchy blond that it almost looked worse than the roots. His dye jobs only came out well when he managed to sucker a friend into helping with the promise of a pizza dinner.

  
It seemed that Yoosung would have to ask for help. He didn't like to stereotype, but he figured that, as a woman, Chae-Young might have more expertise in this area than any of his male friends. _She went to art school! Surely she's helped a friend dye their hair neon pink at least once!_ Besides, Yoosung wanted to see her again. There was no denying that. It'd been a couple of weeks since the last time they'd hung out in person, and this seemed like a good excuse to see Chae-Young's cute face again.

  
He located his cell phone and gave her a call, hoping that this wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience. Chae-Young picked up after a few rings, mouth full of food.

  
"Hey."

  
"It's me."

  
"I know. Caller I.D. is a thing that exists, you know. What's up?"

  
_Snarky as usual._ "Are you doing anything today?"

  
"Not really. I've been painting on and off, and I had a studio earlier this afternoon, but I think I'm probably done for the day." It was a Thursday evening, and Chae-Young's weekend had begun already, as she didn't have anything scheduled on Fridays.

  
"Do you wanna come over? I know it's kind of late to be asking, but I don't have class tomorrow, so..." Yoosung trailed off, hoping this offer didn't strike Chae-Young as weird.

  
"Sounds fun. We could order a pizza and play games?"

  
"Ah...this might seem like an odd thing to ask, but...do you think you could help me bleach my hair?" He bit his lip.

  
"Roots getting bad?"

  
_She understands!_ "Y-Yeah."

  
"I got you. Some things you just shouldn't try to do by yourself. You go buy some bleach, and I'll be over soon."

  
\---

  
Incidentally, Chae-Young managed to arrive at Yoosung's apartment before he returned from the store. He hadn't thought that he had taken that long to match his existing color to one of the dye kits; he'd even gone to the drugstore just across the street so to save time! And yet, when he arrived back home, she was there waiting, shivering from the February cold in her striped jogger pants and Daesun hoodie. She didn't seem irritated with him however, greeting him cheerfully as he unlocked the front door to let her inside.

  
Yoosung turned up the thermostat inside to provide Chae-Young with a blast of warmth while she tugged off her sweatshirt. "Here, let me look at what you bought." He passed the box to her, and she read over the instructions on the back. "Your hair is clean, right?"

  
"Just washed it this morning."

  
"Alright. I think we should go ahead and get this out of the way before doing anything else," Chae-Young suggested, knowing how time tended to get away from them rather quickly when they became engrossed in a game. "I'll go mix this up. Put down some old towels or something so that your floors don't get messy." While she combined the bleach powder and developer in the provided tray, Yoosung located the old, bleach-stained towels he usually used for this, spreading them out on the kitchen floor and placing a chair in the middle to sit in while Chae worked on his hair.

  
She returned from the bathroom a few minutes later, wearing the latex gloves included with the kit and carrying the bleach with both hands, wary of spilling it. She placed it on the tile counter and gently removed the pins from Yoosung's hair, letting it fall into his face. She smoothed the top layer down for a moment, examining the roots. "So this is your natural color, huh? I bet you look soooo different with dark hair."

  
"Yeah." Yoosung slipped his phone out of his pocket. "Let me show you. I've got some pictures of what I used to look like."

  
"Lemme see." Chae-Young leaned over his shoulder to glance at the old picture of a teenage Yoosung, grinning broadly and holding a glossy Cocker Spaniel. She cackled loudly. "Oh my god!"

  
"What's so funny?!"

  
"That haircut! You look like such a little baby!"

  
Yoosung pouted. "I do _not_ look like a baby."

  
Chae-Young continued her giggling, bent over with her hands on her knees, gasping for air as she spoke. "I've just got one question. _Does the carpet match the drapes?_ " The question barely left her mouth before breaking back into peals of laughter.

  
"I don't know. Maybe you should take a look and see for yourself," Yoosung retorted, raising an eyebrow.

  
The laughter stopped momentarily, Chae-Young's mouth hanging open at the unexpected remark. She smirked, a glimmer in her eye. "I'm gonna start putting the bleach in now."

  
She began carefully brushing the bleach cream into Yoosung's hair as he continued looking through old photos on his phone. "Oh, he's another one," he commented suddenly, holding up the device so Chae could see. She paused to look carefully at the image of her friend, posed next to a young woman with curly blonde hair, tied back with a ribbon. Curiosity tickled her brain.

  
"Who's the girl in the photo next to you?"

  
"That's my cousin, Rika. We used to do volunteer work together."

  
"I see." _Used to?_ "You've never mentioned her before."

  
"Well, the situation with Rika...it's...complicated."

  
"Oh! We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," Chae-Young stumbled over her words, realizing that she'd hit upon a sensitive subject. She was curious now, of course, but she didn't want to make her friend feel uncomfortable.

  
"No, it's okay," Yoosung reassured her, smiling gently. He wanted to share this with Chae-Young. He had intimate feelings for her now, and he wanted to share every part of himself with her, even the unpleasant ones. Yoosung trusted her deeply, and craved closeness, even if that meant being just a little bit vulnerable with her. "Let me explain."

  
\---

  
"Truthfully, I didn't really know Rika until I was in high school. My mom wanted me to spend time with her, and do the volunteering stuff with her. At first, I wasn't really all that enthusiastic about it, but seeing how happy Rika made people by helping them made me happy too. Rika was like an older sister to me."

  
"W-What happened?" Chae-Young asked, tentative.

  
"On the day of my high school graduation, Rika's fiance, V- you've met him-"

  
"From Kat's photography show?"

  
"Yeah. He, uh...he told me that Rika had committed suicide."

  
Chae-Young gasped. "Oh, shit. Oh, god. Yoosung, I..." She wasn't quite sure what to say. Her heart ached for him. She felt dizzy with shock and empathy.

  
Yoosung shook his head. "He told me that she drowned herself in the ocean. I couldn't ever believe that was the truth. I always knew V was hiding something."

  
"He didn't..."

  
"No, Rika wasn't _murdered_. The thing was, she wasn't even dead. She's still alive, Chae."

  
"Then..."

  
"The truth was, Rika had become very mentally ill. She still is, because she refused to be treated. She attacked V. That's why he was going blind." Yoosung paused, figuring out how to explain the worst of it. "The thing is...Rika...started a religious cult. That's why V lied about what had happened. He thought he was trying to protect everyone who loved Rika from the truth, but..."

  
"Did Rika abuse V?" Chae-Young asked suddenly. "I-I don't know much about the situation, but...I have to ask."

  
"I don't know. She injured his eyes...that counts as physical abuse."

  
"I think...if V went to the trouble to hide the truth...she may have abused and manipulated him emotionally as well. Abuse victims often hide the truth about what's happened to them. They can be very secretive about it. They even go so far as to defend their abusers."

  
"I don't know...maybe. I think...maybe it all finally came out because of Yuki."

  
"Really?"

  
"I think maybe she persisted with V until he finally told the truth. The hardest part is...I don't know how to feel about all the time I spent with Rika. Was it all a lie? The whole time?"

  
"What makes you say that? A negative relationship with V doesn't necessarily nullify a positive one with you. Abusers don't always hurt everyone they meet."

  
"Some of the facts...seem to indicate that Rika manipulated everyone she came into contact with in some way. She would show kindness, and then bend people to her will."

  
"Do you think she did that with you?"

  
"I don't know. Yuki seems to think so..." Yoosung sighed. "Rika was always so kind to me. She always encouraged me to do my best, and for a long time, I did. I wanted her to be proud of me. Once she was gone, I started to slip. I stopped trying in school. I got distracted, because no one encouraged me anymore. His voice cracked a little. "I-I think maybe she always knew that I was like that- I wanted people to be proud of me- and she used that against me. I think maybe she made it so that I depended on her for validation, so that she could use me later on."

  
Chae-Young's heart sank, forming a pit in her stomach. She knew what subtle manipulation looked like, what it could do to a person. "She saw a quality that she could easily exploit..." she murmured, her mouth dry.

  
"You're the first person who's really encouraged me since then." Yoosung felt Chae-Young tense behind him, and he couldn't help but laugh a little. "Don't worry, I don't think you're trying to manipulate me or anything."

  
_Unless you want to..._ He shook his head, quickly banishing the impure thought from his mind. Chae-Young was different from Rika of course. He knew that when she pushed him to do his best, it was because she wanted him to succeed for himself, and only for himself. He knew that she didn't want to see him make the same mistakes she had. Chae-Young was truly selfless like that. She wanted what was best for others because she genuinely wanted to see them happy. She gave people a lot of love, even if it was tough love sometimes. Yoosung hoped that she got that sort of love in return.

  
"I'm...so sorry you had to experience all of that..." Chae-Young whispered, her voice soft, gentle. Her heart ached for Yoosung, and the thought of his pain made her feel sick. She cared deeply for him; he was so kind, so gentle... _Please, don't ever let anyone make you feel like you need to change._ The world needed more people like Yoosung, she thought. _Don't let the ugliness of the world harden your heart like it's hardened mine._

  
\---

  
Her work almost done, Chae-Young finally moved to the pieces of hair framing Yoosung's face, painting the bleach mixture on as she had in all of the other sections. Yoosung wrinkled his nose in disgust. "It smells so bad..." he whined.

  
Despite his protests, she continued her work. "If you hate the smell so much, why did you bleach your hair in the first place? Surely you realized that you'd have to touch it up regularly."

  
Yoosung turned pink. "I thought it would make me more popular with girls."

  
Chae-Young didn't know what answer she'd been expecting, but it hadn't been that. She stifled a laugh. "Is...Is that really what you were worried about?" Yoosung turned a darker shade of red, but Chae-Young didn't notice as she continued her work. "If you want girls to like you, just be yourself," she remarked, nonchalant.

  
"You really think that would work? I never thought girls liked me that much."

  
"Yeah. You're plenty likable."

  
"Do...you like me?"

  
Chae-Young froze; Yoosung's frank question had come completely out of left field. Color rose in her cheeks, and she wasn't quite sure how to respond. Of course she liked Yoosung, but...was it really in _that_ way? _Of course not! That would be...ridiculous..._

  
Yoosung looked up at her, smirking devilishly. "I'm kidding, Chae."

  
She gasped. "Shut up! You're such a dick!" She spread the bleach onto the last few strands, and backed away. "Okay. Now we just have to wait. Go fire up some LOLOL while I wash my hands."

  
The thirty-minute waiting period passed fairly quickly, the two of them taking turns kicking one another's butt in one-on-one mode. They were evenly matched, which made for interesting match-ups. Finally, the timer on Chae-Young's phone sounded, indicating that it was time for the rinse. "Go wash your hair. I think this is a good time for me to order the pizza."

  
Yoosung nodded, heading obediently for the bathroom and starting the water in the shower, as the bleach needed to be shampooed out. He closed the door and stripped naked, careful not to get bleach on his clothes. As he scrubbed his scalp, he couldn't help remembering how Chae-Young's hands had felt running through his hair as she worked. Of course, her touches had been completely innocent, but Yoosung couldn't help wondering what it would have felt like if she'd suddenly grabbed a chunk of hair and tugged on it roughly.

  
His cock twitched upward at the idea, and a soft moan tumbled from his lips. _No no no no no..._ He couldn't be feeling like this right now! Chae-Young was here, in his apartment, sitting on his couch as she waited for him to wash his hair! He couldn't go getting excited right now, and he _especially_ couldn't do _that_ while she sat patiently in the other room, blissfully unaware of Yoosung's filthy thoughts. He switched the water to cold, biting back a screech at the fridgid shock hitting his flesh.

  
Once Yoosung had dried and dressed himself, he returned to the living room, a towel draped over his head. "Lemme see." Chae-Young tugged the towel away, and began examining her handiwork, nodding with approval. She was so close... He wanted to kiss her.

  
Yoosung's desire to kiss her again had grown immensely as of late, especially after he'd woken up next to her, Chae-Young dressed only in her bra and panties. He'd even gone so far as to start ordering whiskey on the few occasions that he went to a bar, trying to recapture the taste of her lips. The acrid liquor never compared to the sweetness of Chae-Young's mouth on his. Once again, Yoosung put the thought out of his mind.

  
"Looks good to me!" Chae grinned, patting him gently on the head.

  
As much as she had touched him today, it still didn't feel like enough.


	48. Jihyun

"Which flavor of LaCross did you want? I've got lime, passionfruit, and berry," Kat called from the kitchen, having offered V something to drink when he arrived.

  
"Lime, please."

  
Kat returned to the living room with two cans, setting one on the blue agate coaster in front of her friend. This was the second time he'd come by since their previous weekend excursion, enthusiastic about looking over her old photos. He was interested in her process, he told her, and liked seeing how she had photographed things early on. Kat didn't mind the company, and her dogs seemed to have taken a liking to V. Even crotchety old Beauregard reclined lazily on the couch next to him, snoring loudly.

  
V turned the page, chuckling softly at some old Polaroids from Kat's time as a high school student, making silly faces with some friends. He considered her his own friend now, though their relationship was arguably different from any other friendship V had. She'd seen the roughest, most unpleasant side of him right from the get-go, and hadn't turned away. Supportiveness and empathy came naturally to her, and V hoped that in the future, he could give her the same in return. Kat was easygoing, pleasant to be around. You could always could on her to be honest, sometimes brutally so, but at the same time, she gave her friendship as an escape from the harsh realities of the outside world.

  
"I haven't shown you my darkroom yet," Kat realized suddenly. She continued gazing off into space, sipping her berry-flavored sparkling water, as if V didn't consider that sort of thing the coolest shit ever.

  
"You have a darkroom? Here?!" V asked excitedly, his attention immediately pulled away from the album spread out on his lap. Kat grinned at his excitement, effectively answering his question. "Will you show me?"

  
"Of course. I'm excited to show it to someone who'll be as giddy over it as I am." She stood and gestured for V to follow her. "This house has two bedrooms, but since I live alone, I converted the smaller room into a work space." V followed her down a short hallway, with Kat's bedroom to the left, the darkroom to the right, and a small linen closet at the end.

  
She opened the door to the spare bedroom, moving aside a curtain of thick, black fabric, used to block out light from the rest of the house. She switched on the nearby safelight, illuminating the room slightly and bathing it in a red glow. Processed images hung to dry from a wire that Kat had suspended across the room, and a series of plastic trays, painstakingly labeled by their chemical contents, rested on the work tables lining the walls.

  
Kat began checking the hanging images for dryness, removing several of them from their tiny metal clips. The safelight tinted her face with a red cast, the shadows created by her features more dramatic in the ambiance. She carried a couple of prints over to show V. "Recently I've been trying different methods of fucking with the C-41 process. Really, I've been executing it incorrectly to intentionally produce differing results."

  
She held up an image of a gnarled tree stump she'd taken in the mountains, which had yielded a strong green cast during processing. "This is what happens when you cross-process C-41 in E-6." Kat slipped her glasses out of her pocket and slid them onto the bridge of her nose before spreading a series of prints out across the counter. "I've been experimenting with the temperature of the CD-4 as well..." She pointed to the small label on each sheet, indicating the temperature at which they'd been processed. "I'm especially interested in the intentional under- or over-development of film. It looks so fucky." She turned to V, beaming with pride in her work.

  
"You mind if I work a little while we're in here? I've been getting back into gelatin silver processing, too."

  
"Not at all, I'd like to see your process in action. I might take some photos while we're in here, since the lighting is so interesting. I'll leave the flash off, of course."

  
Kat wandered over to her workstation, pouring various chemical baths into their respective trays. "Normally, you need specialized equipment for this process, to keep the volatile silver salts from compromising the image, but that's what I want to happen, so..." she trailed off, shrugging.

  
V watched her work, fascinated. Kat seemed completely wrapped-up in her own little world, scarcely noticing his presence. Her brow furrowed, eyes squinting in concentration. She had a nervous habit of biting her lip when she became especially focused. V found it endearing, snapping a couple of shots. Mostly, he just watched her, checking the temperature of the processing solutions; pausing to pull up her gray chino pants, which had a bad habit of sliding down slightly over time, wiggling her hips as she yanked the trousers up; gently laying a sheet of photo paper in the tray, carefully ensuring that it submerged into the bath completely; slipping the elastic band off of her wrist to tie her wild hair back and out of the way...

  
\---

  
Despite the fact that Kat's darkroom was a photographer's dream, it was rather small. When Kat would shift to the side, V would have to move backward to give her space. Still, they remained quite close physically, limited by the cramped space. Wrapped up in her work, Kat either didn't seem to notice, or she didn't really mind. Occasionally, she'd shift a little too quickly, and her hip, or her backside would brush against V. He tried not to think too much of it.

  
Though...he couldn't help noticing the shape of her bottom. Though Kat clearly maintained a fit physique, she remained curvy somehow. She had wide hips, and her ass...was quite round and perky. V hadn't noticed before, but being in such close proximity, well...

  
Objectively, she had a nice ass. V was willing to admit this much. Then again, she was just a beautiful woman in general- glossy, brown hair, bright blue eyes, cute freckles... It didn't hurt to acknowledge this fact. It wasn't like V had romantic feelings for her or anything. He was merely a man; he could find a woman pretty, but be objective about it. It wasn't an odd thing to notice. Then again...he hadn't really thought about feminine beauty much at all since Rika. Maybe this was merely another step in the healing process, another step in letting go.

  
If he did have any sort of feelings for Kat other than friendship, it was probably only because of his current situation. She had been one of the few people who seemed to care for him deeply, who constantly encouraged him. Any affection he might feel was merely a reaction to the kindness she had shown him. V had been so starved for real love, real affection...It only made sense that once he found it in some form, he'd cling to it. His therapist had advised him that something like that might happen, and that he would need to put in a lot of work evaluating his feelings.

  
Though...Yuki had shown him care, had shown him immense kindness...and V didn't go looking at her backside. He shook his head, not wanting to read too much into anything. He needed to distract himself, clear his mind.

  
\---

  
"Who would you say are some of your favorite photographers?" V asked Kat, attempting to distract his mind with an innocent conversation.

  
Kat thought for a moment. "Hmm...While I was an undergrad, I drew a lot of inspiration from Nan Goldin...Alfred Stieglitz...A few years ago I got really interested in Jihyun Kim's work..."

  
V thought back to the photo Kat had displayed in her living room, the lush forest bathed in mist. It had been one of the last photos he'd taken before meeting Rika; it called back to a happier time.

"Jihyun Kim?"

  
"Yeah. Do you know of him?"

  
"I do." V wondered if maybe he should just come out and say it. He hadn't been Jihyun in a long time, since before Rika, and he wondered if it was even possible to go back, to be the man he'd been before. He'd never again be the same version of himself that he'd been then, but maybe he should abandon "V." V belonged to Rika, but perhaps Jihyun might be able to move on.

  
Kat continued her musing. "I haven't seen anything new from him recently. I think it's been close to a year since he's released any new work. I wonder what he's been up to..."

  
V swallowed hard. "I need to tell you something."

  
Kat carefully finished her current task, and turned to face him, looking a little bit worried. "What is it? Is everything okay?"

  
"Everything's fine...but you should know...V isn't my real name."

  
"Well I had gathered that much. I just figured that when you felt comfortable sharing that with me, you would."

  
"It's kind of a funny story...You have one of my photographs hanging in your living room and you don't even realize it," V laughed, shaking his head.

  
Kat's eyes narrowed, confused. "Which one? I don't think I have any unknown or anonymous works..."

  
"You know the one with the evergreen forest, the mist, the waterfall..."

  
"The Jihyun Kim print?" she asked, eyes widening in realization. She clamped a hand over her mouth. Everything made sense now...Jihyun Kim had stopped working due to ever-increasing blindness...because of his fiancee's abuse. She shook her head. "I can't believe it..." she murmured softly.

  
That woman...she'd even influenced Jihyun's work, Kat realized. For a few years, his work had gradually become somewhat melancholy, wistful. She'd had a similar experience during undergrad. The photographer's experiences, their mental state, always came through in their work. It was unavoidable. As Jihyun suffered, his images became saddened as well. _Art is a release, of course...sometimes it's the only one we have..._ "I'm going to call you Jihyun from now on."

  
"No one's called me by that name in a long time."

  
Kat shrugged. "It's who you really are. You've got to return to the truest form of yourself. Live your truth and shit."

  
Jihyun knew that Kat was right. Besides, he rather liked the way his name sounded on her tongue. She said it with such gentleness; it was the sweetest music. His heart fluttered every time she uttered those two syllables.

  
The whole thing was just too absurd, Kat thought. She couldn't help but laugh internally. They'd each followed the other's work for years, and now here they were, inches away from one another in Kat's darkroom. The chaos of the universe had brought them into each other's lives, after all of the pain, the negativity, the abuse. They were each broken in their own way, each trying to piece everything back together. Kat had to wonder if, in some way, it was destiny.

  
"I'm going to get another LaCross. Do you want one, Ji?"

\-----

A/N: Quick reminder that I am on tumblr as squirrel-nut-zippers. I post a lot of content related to this story, including status updates, original "art", and reblogs related to the characters. Sometimes I give little hints related to future chapters and how the story will progress. It's a shit-show.


	49. A Blushing Bride

The bright, floral scent of bergamot wafted through the main living room of Jumin's penthouse. Jumin carefully lifted the infuser from his steaming cup, placing it on a small kitchen towel for the maid to pick up later on. He sat quietly, drinking his Earl Grey and watching the morning news program, as he did each day before leaving for the office. He'd calmed down quite a bit since his father had spilled the news about his intent to marry his actress girlfriend, Glam Choi. If Chairman Han wanted to make another silly mistake in pursuit of romance, that was no business of Jumin's.

 

Valentine's day was coming soon. The Chairman had raved on and on about preparing some big to-do for his girlfriend, er, fiancee, and about how he wished Jumin had someone special to spoil on the upcoming holiday. _I'll spoil Elizabeth, of course. She's the only woman I need in my life._ Jumin gently stroked the silky fur behind his Persian's ears, earning a soft purr in return. He vaguely wondered if Sun-Mi had any plans for the day. _Probably not, since she's always seemed so hesitant to date... Though...that doesn't necessarily mean that there aren't men attempting to win her over..._ Jumin felt slightly agitated at the thought, and felt it best to put it out of his mind, to shove everything related to Sun-Mi back into the deepest, darkest corner of his brain where it belonged.

  
"Mr. Han, you have a visitor," his chief of security announced, entering the room. Jumin felt confused. He didn't have any meetings planned for this early in the day, and certainly not in his home.

  
"Who is it?" he asked the security guard.

  
"She claims to be your fiancee." A young woman entered the room, her hair dyed a pinkish, unnatural shade of red. Jumin had never seen this woman in his life. She wore quite a bit of makeup, and seemed to have very large breasts. Probably implants, considering her body type. Then again, she seemed altogether artificial. Jumin very much did not feel like dealing with such a situation so early in the morning.

  
"May I help you?" Jumin asked her, trying to remain polite for the time-being.

  
"Oh, Jumin! You're even more handsome in person!"

  
Jumin bristled; he didn't much like being addressed in such a familiar manner by a person whose name he didn't even know. He crossed his arms, scowling a little. "I don't believe we've met before."

  
"Oh, my! So cold~" the woman giggled. "My name is Sarah. It'll be familiar to you soon. I'm going to be your wife."

  
"That's news to me."

  
"Of course, I wanted to tell you myself." She continued her beaming, seemingly oblivious to the bad vibes Jumin was putting out. "It was my mentor's idea of course. I was just lucky enough to be selected." She glanced over, noticing the puff of white fur still resting on the couch. "Oh, you have a cat. Well, you won't be needing her for companionship anymore."

  
As if sensing Sarah's negativity, Elizabeth stood abruptly, arching her back, tail held high. "Mrrrrwahhhhohhhh," she groaned, stalking away. Jumin immediately distrusted Sarah now. _Elizabeth is a very good judge of character, after all._

  
He cleared his throat. "Who is your mentor?"

  
"Glam Choi." Suddenly everything made perfect sense. "She and Chairman Han have arranged our engagement."

  
Jumin's eye twitched. He'd been willing to accept his father's fling with Glam; until now, she'd just been the latest in a revolving door of women. However, the relationship had begun to interfere with his own private life, and that was simply unacceptable. Of course, his father couldn't force him to be married. Though, it would become a major inconvenience, an utter annoyance, and Jumin already had enough responsibilities between C&R and RFA, and enough tangled threads in his mind to prevent him from being completely at peace. "I think you had better go," he didn't bother to disguise the venom in his voice.

  
Sarah rearranged her botox-laden face to form a frown. "But...why?"

  
"I need to leave for the office." This wasn't a lie. It was getting to be about that time. Jumin would have to take the rest of his Earl Grey to-go.

  
"I'll come with you! Then, I can say hello to the Chairman!"

  
"I don't think that would be a good idea. He's a very busy man." Sometimes too busy. "I will have you removed by security if necessary."

  
Sarah seemed angry now. "That's not a very nice way to treat your future wife!" she spat. Jumin motioned to his security guard. "Fine, I'm going, but you should reconsider how you choose to speak to me!"

  
Once she was finally gone, Jumin sighed, rubbing the side of his head. He'd likely be in for one beast of a migraine later in the day. He really needed to discuss this with his father, to set him straight. He almost had to wonder, _what will Sun-Mi think of all this? "You're just like all the others, Jumin!"_ He shook his head, disconcerted by how much the young woman seemed to cloud his thoughts these days.

  
\---

  
"Assistant Kang, please arrange a meeting with my father for today. Let him know that it is urgent."

  
Jaehee looked up, blinking. The tone in Jumin's voice seemed rather grave, and she felt a little worried for him. However, she knew better than to ask what was wrong. This was likely a private family matter. "Of course, Mr. Han."

  
Minutes ticked by at a snail's pace, Jumin dreading the inevitable conversation with his father. He struggled to focus on his work, wracking his brain for the appropriate way to address this unpleasant topic. He knew that no matter how hard he advocated for his own choice, his stubborn father would argue the opposite, twice as hard. Luckily, he'd be able to get this over with quickly, as Jaehee had scheduled the meeting for 10:00.

  
Finally, the time came, and Jaehee ushered the Chairman into Jumin's office, closing the door as she left to offer them some privacy. "What did you wish to see me about?" Jumin's father asked, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of the large Mahogany desk.

  
"A young woman came to see me this morning, claiming to be my fiancee." Jumin rested his head on his hands, fingers laced together, eyebrows raising questioningly.

  
Chairman Han relaxed, face breaking out into a warm smile. "Oh, you must mean Sarah. I'm sure she must have told you, she's Glam's student. We wanted to tell you about her the next time we met for lunch, but Sarah insisted on telling you herself. She's so excited about the marriage!"

  
Jumin chuckled darkly. "And was this arrangement your idea, or Glam's?"

  
"It was Glam's idea, but I agree with her. I think Sarah will make a great match for you." Jumin's father looked rather pleased with himself.

  
"Then, you don't know my taste at all."

  
"And what exactly is your taste, Jumin?"

  
Jumin fell silent. He didn't know how to answer that question, as he'd never before had to consider it. He wasn't quite sure what traits he'd prefer in a partner, but he was certain Sarah didn't meet his standards. His father had made a much better selection when setting him up with Sun-Mi Dang... Jumin turned just faintly red at this realization.

  
"It's just as I thought; you can't know what you like if you never give anything a try."

  
"I know enough to be certain that I'm not interested in marrying Sarah. I find her wholly unpleasant." Jumin turned his head away, crossing his arms, brow furrowing in irritation.

  
The Chairman breathed a heavy sigh, as if he were trying to convince a child to try a new vegetable. "You should at least consider it. Sarah will make a good wife for you. This will make you happy in the long run. In time, you will grow to love her."

  
"Consider this: I don't want to marry Sarah."

  
"Jumin, you need to stop being so concerned with what you want right now, and start thinking about what will be best for the company, for your public image, for your future self!" Chairman Han had started to become agitated now.

  
"Just two months ago, you had your heart set on matching me up with Sun-Mi Dang."

  
"And I was wrong about that. I am more than willing to admit it. You shouldn't be marrying the love-child of a foreign mistress."

  
"How can you say that about your close friend's child?" _How dare you say that about her?!_

  
"The truth is sometimes unpleasant, Jumin. Now, I am asking you _nicely_ to be open to the idea of this engagement. That will change if you keep this nasty attitude." Jumin's father stood abruptly, heading for the door without so much as a handshake or a good-bye.

  
As he stalked out, Jaehee poked her head inside the office, looking concerned. "Is there anything I can get for you, Mr. Han?"

  
"No, thank you, Assistant Kang. Just close the door, please."

  
Jumin sat silently for a few minutes, face resting in his hands. He felt so frustrated, so helpless, so...overwhelmed. If only he could have a few days where he didn't have to think about anything... He hesitated for a moment before removing his cell phone from the top desk drawer and opening his text conversation with Sun-Mi.

  
" _Can you meet me for coffee during the lunch hour?_ "

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi waited impatiently at one of the more private tables in the small coffee shop, her posture stiff. She wasn't quite sure how to interpret Jumin's cryptic text message from earlier. Clearly, he had business to discuss with her, but Sun-Mi had to wonder what would warrant a trip to a separate location from the C&R office building. Perhaps he didn't want anyone to know that he was meeting her today, and the surreptitious nature of this meeting raised Sun-Mi's suspicions.

  
Finally, Jumin breezed through the doors, looking left and right until he spotted the table Sun-Mi had occupied. He seemed very nervous, very distracted. He fidgeted with the cuff of his shirt sleeve more than normal as he silently occupied the chair across from her. Something had happened, Sun-Mi could discern. She didn't know what, and it was quite likely that Jumin wouldn't tell her, but something had occurred to upset him significantly.

  
"Jumin...Is everything alright?" Her voice was so soft, so gentle, so full of concern... She could immediately tell that something wasn't right. After all, Sun-Mi could read him, understand him, in a way that Jumin was certain someone like Sarah never would. Perhaps...he'd missed the boat finding the proper match. Jumin shook his head, appalled at such a ridiculous thought. He really did need a break if he was feeling sentimental for his matchmaking date with Sun-Mi. Then again, maybe such feelings indicated just how messed-up his current situation had become.

  
He looked into her eyes, wide with concern, and suddenly he was telling her everything; about his father and Glam, about their engagement; about Sarah, and how she'd suddenly shown up flaunting a supposed engagement; how his father had refused to listen to reason when Jumin had expressed his displeasure. "Everything's just so... _fucked up_ ," he whispered, feeling a little ashamed of using such language in front of a proper lady. Then again, Sun-Mi used coarse language on occasion, and, coming from her, it was almost charming.

  
She frowned, looking almost sick with sympathy for Jumin's situation. "I'm so sorry this is happening." She and Jaehee had been the only people to feel concern for him all day; Jumin could almost reach across the table and take those soft little hands in his own. The threads tightened more each moment she spent looking at him with such a sweet expression.

  
Jumin shook his head, coughing. "I need to take a few days, travel somewhere, and just...not have to deal with anything for a little while."

  
"You need to be a person for a few days," Sun-Mi offered, nodding in understanding.

  
"Can you take Elizabeth for me tonight? I apologize for it being on such short notice..."

  
"Don't worry about it. I'd be happy to take her for you." Jumin's heart swelled, and he felt angry on Sun-Mi's behalf, for the hideous thing his father had said before. How could he degrade someone so kind, so understanding, so giving, so... Jumin searched for the right word, but the only one he could find was "perfect." _That's definitely not the one I'm looking for..._

  
A pit formed in Sun-Mi's stomach. A wide range of emotions washed over her. She felt sad for Jumin; clearly, he was struggling with all of this. He'd been so stoic before, but now, the cracks were beginning to show. How much had he hidden deep down inside, and for how long? She felt angry, too, sympathizing with his situation. She knew that surely, Chairman Han meant well, but clearly, he wasn't prioritizing his son's happiness. Sun-Mi felt that he was acting very selfishly. The third feeling, Sun-Mi couldn't fully identify. From what Jumin had told her, Sarah would not make a good match for Jumin. He deserved so much better, someone who understood him, _someone like..._ Sun-Mi didn't dare finish the thought.

  
More than anything, she wanted to help in any way she could. She vaguely considered going to her father about it, to see if he could talk some sense into his long-time friend, but she thought better of it. For now, she would merely let Jumin communicate what he needed. If that meant holding down the fort while he took some time away, she would be more than happy to do just that.

  
_I might not be able to take away your pain, but I'll do what I can to make it easier to bear._


	50. Such Sweet Sorrow

The sewing machine hummed pleasantly as Sun-Mi slowly fed the black jersey knit through it. Saturday meant plenty of free time, and she had filled the day with this quick project: a stretchy, black circle skirt. Sun-Mi owned a similar garment already, but the fabric had grown thin and pilly over time, and for weeks she'd struggled to find one to replace it. Finally, she'd given up. _If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself._

  
Elizabeth didn't seem to like the noisy machine very much, and kept her distance, napping on and off on Sun-Mi's living room sofa. Jumin had brought her here the previous night before jetting off to god-knows-where to clear his mind. She seemed content enough, making herself at home. She lazed around much as Sun-Mi expected she did in her own home. Elizabeth didn't act out; in fact, she was often more well-behaved than Choo-Choo, though, Sun-Mi did on occasion have to shoo her away from her Earl Grey.

  
Though they had only met a couple of times before, Elizabeth did seem fond of Sun-Mi. When Jumin had dropped her off the night before, he'd warned that she was acting irritable, and advised for Sun-Mi to give her space for a while. However, once she'd familiarized herself with her surroundings, the cat quickly acclimated, and stayed close to Sun-Mi for the rest of the evening. Sun-Mi didn't mind the companionship, of course; she rather enjoyed cuddling with the friendly cat.

  
If anything, she seemed a little concerned. On occasion, she would pad over to the front door, sniff gently, and then mew. Perhaps Jumin's scent still lingered there. _Animals are much more intuitive than we give them credit for..._ Perhaps Elizabeth realized that something was wrong with her human, and worried about him. As she finished the final seam on the skirt's hem, Sun-Mi looked over to see the cat investigating the door once again, giving a confused meow.

  
"Are you worried about your daddy?" Sun-Mi grimaced as soon as the words left her mouth. Though her use of the term "daddy" was completely innocuous, she couldn't help but cringe. She knew how it was often used, by people much more sexually adventurous than herself, thanks to Mina's ironic use of the word. She couldn't help feeling just a little bit weird using it in relation to Jumin. Sun-Mi was most definitely not into that kind of thing, _especially_ in regards to _him_.

  
Her stomach growled, and she glanced at the clock on the wall. It was just a bit past dinner time now; time to feed the cats and figure out something for herself. Sun-Mi didn't feel much like cooking, deciding to instead order take-out. She removed the menu for one of her favorite spots from a kitchen cabinet, glancing at the back of the document as she dialed the number. Sun-Mi's phone made a strange clicking sound as the employee on the other end picked up. _I should call the phone company on Monday. Maybe they can tell me what's wrong..._

  
Choo-Choo strolled into the kitchen, chirping as he waited for Sun-Mi to fill his bowl. He was still unused to the fluffy, white cat that had taken over his home once again, and kept his distance for now. As Sun-Mi watched the cats tuck into their dinner, waiting for her own meal to arrive, her mind drifted back to Jumin's unfortunate situation. She felt restless; she wanted to do more to help, but at the same time, she was hesitant to overstep her bounds. After all, she and Jumin weren't that close. At the same time, she sometimes found herself wishing they were...

  
Those thoughts were quickly relegated to the depths of Sun-Mi's subconscious.

  
\---

  
Her reverie was suddenly broken by the sound of someone buzzing in downstairs. Sun-Mi tilted her head. Her food couldn't be here already; it'd scarcely been twenty minutes since her order was placed. However, when she answered the intercom, the feminine voice on the other end claimed to be delivering her take-out order. Sun-Mi buzzed her on in, hunger clouding any lingering feelings of suspicion.

  
"That was quick!" she commented, opening the door. The smile quickly fell from Sun-Mi's face in confusion. Two women stood in front of her, neither one of them carrying food, or wearing a uniform. Rather, both women dressed in clothes that somehow managed to look expensive and cheap at the same time. One seemed to be in her late thirties, brown hair tied back, and the other, of indistinguishable age. She might have been thirty, but the truth was buried under a significant amount of Botox. _They must have the wrong apartment._

  
"I'm sorry, I was expecting a take-out delivery..."

  
The younger(?) woman's face tightened in irritation. "You're Sun-Mi Dang, aren't you?"

  
Sun-Mi's eyes widened. "Y-Yes..."

  
"Then, you're exactly who I'm looking for." She reached her manicured hands out and shoved Sun-Mi backward into the apartment. The two women stepped inside, closing the door behind them.  
"Hey! You can't just..." She was cut off by the palm of the red-haired woman's hand colliding with her cheek. She stumbled a little from the impact, face stinging intensely. The other woman saw an opening and took it, shoving Sun-Mi to the ground.

  
She couldn't understand what was happening. Who were these women, and why did they want to hurt her? Sun-Mi had never seen them in her life! Yet, they seemed to have some fierce vendetta against her. Perhaps they had the wrong woman?

 

"Stay away from Jumin Han!" the redhead shrieked. Perhaps not.

  
Daylight began to glimmer. These had to be the women that Jumin had told her about over tea the day before. For some reason, they viewed her acquaintanceship with Jumin as a threat. Sun-Mi had been annoyed with them before, on his behalf, but now, materialized in front of her, that annoyance became rage. _Like_ Hell _you can come into_ my _home, and tell_ me _what's what!_

  
Sun-Mi stood, squaring her shoulders and narrowing her eyes. She shoved Sarah back, forcefully enough that she stumbled, hitting her head against the nearest wall. "Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?"

  
She stalked forward toward Sun-Mi again, hands balled into pitiful fists. "I _think_ I'm Jumin's fiancee, _bitch_."

  
\---

  
The woman Sun-Mi assumed to be Glam Choi held her back, allowing Sarah to attack again. She was stronger than she looked; no matter how hard Sun-Mi struggled, she couldn't break away to fight back. Sarah raised one of her fists, delivering a swift punch that connected with Sun-Mi's left cheekbone. She gasped in pain and drew back quickly, clearly surprised that the person throwing the hit could be hurt just as badly as the victim. For someone who had clearly never thrown a punch before, she did so with a surprising amount of force.

  
Irritated by the pain, Sarah threw another, splitting Sun-Mi's lip. She could taste blood. She jerked from side to side sporadically, hoping that eventually, she could wrench away to fight back. Unfortunately, the years of gruelling workouts required to keep a silver-screen figure had made Glam strong; wiggling in her grasp did nothing but render Sun-Mi tired. Sarah shook her hand out, hissing at the aching pain coursing through it. She signaled to her partner-in-crime, and Sun-Mi was thrown to the ground.

  
They began kicking her, and she curled into a ball to try and protect her vital organs. Still, their platform pumps hurt when they connected directly with bone. Sun-Mi wondered if she'd have cracked ribs by the end of this. "Why are you doing this?" Sarah kicked again, the sharp stiletto heel of her shoe scratching her arm roughly, causing her to cry out in pain. Sun-Mi squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the attack to end.

  
Suddenly there was a loud hissing sound, and Sarah shrieked in pain. Sun-Mi opened her eyes to see her rubbing at a deep, bloody scratch on her leg. Elizabeth stood between them, back arched, tail flicking from side to side as she growled in warning. "S-Stupid, nasty animal!" Sarah cried, limping away.

  
Glam backed away as well. "I can't have any ugly scars marring my perfect ivory skin!" She was out the door without another word.

  
"I hope you're learned your lesson!" Sarah spat, following quickly behind her.

  
Sun-Mi lay there on the floor, still not fully processing what had just happened. None of it made any sense. Why would these two women have any reason to attack her? How did they even know that she was a part of Jumin's life? She stared at the wall, eyes wide and unblinking, not even feeling the pain of her injuries.

  
Elizabeth began licking Sun-Mi's face obsessively, and finally, everything hit her all at once. Her body ached and her mind spun, a million emotions flooding her body at once. Her chest felt tight, as if she couldn't get enough air, and she gasped for breath as tears began spilling down her stinging cheeks. An ugly sob escaped her as she reached for Elizabeth, holding her close. Sun-Mi felt as if a black hole had opened inside her, like her chest might at any minute collapse in on itself. She cried loudly and freely, tears dampening Elizabeth's fur.

  
In some way, she blamed herself for this. Her instinctive aversion to Jumin had been right all along. _Why did I ever think all of this would turn out okay?_ Every time Sun-Mi let a man into her life, every time she let him get close, it ended in pain. What had made her think it would have been any different this time? Of course, this scenario _was_ a little different; she had no romantic intentions toward Jumin. Though, her platonic relationships with men had always let her down just the same.

  
"I never should have gotten close to him..." She winced a little as she whispered this to herself. She couldn't deny that she'd enjoyed the time they'd spent together, but was it worth all of this? Of course, Sun-Mi didn't deserve to be treated this way, but in some ways, it seemed like she should have known better.

  
Laying on the floor, bleeding, hurting, Sun-Mi decided that she needed to distance herself from Jumin. She needed to cut her ties and her losses, and to be more careful in the future. Once he retrieved his cat, she would make every attempt to never see him again. She would delete and block his personal number, and avoid him at the office as much as possible. She couldn't bear to be hurt like this again.

  
But then again, she couldn't bear the thought of cutting Jumin out of her life. The mere idea widened the pit in her heart, and another gasping sob escaped her. She didn't want to pull away. No, all of this just drew her in closer. The pain associated with leaving was greater than the pain of being beaten, humiliated. _Is this what they mean by 'such sweet sorrow?'_

  
At the very least, she didn't want to abandon Jumin now. He so clearly suffered from everything that had happened, and he'd confided in her. In _her_. He trusted her. Growing cold toward him would only add another burden to his already clouded mind.

  
Worst of all, Sun-Mi didn't know how she felt anymore. This had made her realize. Of course, she felt a flurry of sadness, anger, self-pity...but she felt something else too. She couldn't fully express what it was, but it was an affection, of some kind. It seemed stronger than before. Friendship? No, that wasn't a potent enough word. Sun-Mi whimpered, covering her eyes with one hand. She could now add "confusion" to the list of emotions plaguing her, along with...something she didn't currently want to explore. 

\-----

A/N: I know y'all are probably getting sick of Jumin and Sun-Mi by now, but don't worry, their story-line is about to  r e a l l y  pick up, and you only have to suffer through six more chapters of their nonsense. (I still love them, but I can see how up until now, it's seemed like their story arc is  d r a g g i n g. (Threads take a long time to untangle!)

Unrelated: Would y'all be interested in a musical playlist to accompany this story? I've been embedding songs in certain chapters, but I've also got a playlist on youtube with all of those songs, along with some I haven't included.


	51. The Taste of Her Cherry Chap-Stick

It seemed that as soon as Jaehee completed one task, two more popped up in its place. Once again, her work had followed her home, and she'd set up shop on her couch, her coffee table serving as a makeshift desk. Stacks of papers surrounded her, but as one might expect, all were neatly organized and labeled with color-coded sticky notes. Still, Jaehee felt frustrated to lose yet another evening of personal time to her job. Then again, this was nothing new. She sighed, highlighting a passage of a report for revision. At least she was paid well for her trouble.

  
Jumin had asked her to perform some background research on Glam Choi and the mysterious "Sarah" in her free time, and Jaehee intended to start with that once she finished her present task. She wasn't sure how much she'd be able to find freely available online. It was easy enough for someone to cover their more unsavory activities by using a false name or by only paying for goods and services in cash, but Jaehee would most definitely give it her best effort. She hoped she wouldn't have to use one of those skeezy online "background check" services that asked for your name and a credit card number. The thought made Jaehee's skin crawl.

  
Bedtime probably wouldn't be arriving any time soon, as she still had plenty of work to do on top of this research. Jaehee easily did the work of ten people on a normal day, but Jumin had left her with extra before leaving town, aside from the research. Of course, she wasn't qualified to perform all aspects of the Executive Director's job, but he'd tasked her with some of his simpler responsibilities; statements to make at meetings in his absence, phone calls to take, data to compile. _You can bet I'll be taking a looooong vacation once this is all resolved!_

  
Lately, Jumin had seemed irritable. The smallest inconvenience seemed to put that tone in his voice. Normally, he only got snippy when he was particularly stressed, like when he found himself up against a deadline with too much to worry about. However, the office environment had been rather peaceful recently. True, Jumin had taken on a couple of new projects, but everything seemed to be going especially smoothly as they progressed. He'd even gotten over his tiff with Sun-Mi Dang from I.T. Of course, Jaehee knew the situation with Glam and Sarah, but she'd been Jumin's assistant for quite some time now. She knew what sorts of issues would yield what level of annoyance. There had to be more to this that Jumin was keeping to himself.

  
Now, he'd suddenly left town. No one besides his pilot knew where he planned to go. While Jaehee was grateful that she hadn't been tasked with caring for Elizabeth, she did feel worried for him. He'd never done this before, to Jaehee's knowledge, and she almost had to wonder if he'd finally snapped. He could be so unemotional...maybe everything had finally gotten to be too much, triggering a nervous breakdown. Jumin could be a shit sometimes, but Jaehee did care about him.

  
Her stomach cramped up again in hunger, but again, she ignored it. It was past 10:00 now, and Jaehee hadn't eaten since lunch time, but unfortunately, she didn't have the time to prepare something or to even go anywhere to pick up food. If she'd thought of it earlier, she might have been able to have food delivered, but it was too late at night now. Jaehee would have to settle for shoving a handful of crackers into her mouth before collapsing into bed.

  
\---

  
The employee locker room had already cleared out by the time Anna headed back at the end of her shift. She changed out of her checked pants and double-breasted jacket, stuffing them into the laundry chute and dressing herself in the jeans and soft, grey t-shirt she had been wearing when she came in. Anna pulled her handbag from her locker, locating her cell phone and turning it back on as she headed out the back door, anxious to catch the next train home.

  
Once her device had been fully revived, it chimed with a new text message. The caption "Work followed me home tonight!" accompanied a photo of Jaehee, frowning and surrounded by piles of papers. This sort of thing seemed to happen often, and Anna didn't feel that it was fair to Jaehee. _Work should stay at work! Of course you should make sure to meet your deadlines, but don't assign her so much work that she drowns in it!_ As much as Jaehee claimed that it was fine, that she was properly compensated for her work, Anna remained skeptical. She'd even mentioned it to Yuki, who tended to agree with her.

  
As Anna waited at the station for her train to arrive, she called Jaehee back, just to make sure everything was fine. She picked up quickly, as she always had her phone nearby should someone need to contact her regarding important company business. "Hello?"

  
"Are you still drowning in paperwork?" Anna couldn't help smirking a little.

  
Jaehee groaned. "You have no idea!"

  
"I hope you've at least had a good dinner!" Even as Anna said this, she knew what Jaehee's answer would be. Even if she had managed to snag a bite to eat, it wouldn't be a proper, healthy meal.

  
"I...haven't had anything yet..."

  
It was Anna's turn to groan. "Jaehee! You have to eat something!"

  
"I know, I know..."

  
Anna ran her hands through her hair. "Would you prefer Thai or Italian?"

  
"What?"

  
"Just pick one."

  
"Ahh...Italian. Pasta sounds really satisfying right now."

  
"Okay then, I'll see you in about half an hour."

  
"Oh, you don't need to..." Jaehee stammered.

  
"Don't worry about it. You're going to eat something if I have to cook it myself!"

  
Jaehee didn't want her friend to have to go out of her way, especially since she'd just gotten out of work, but she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to eat Anna's cooking again. "Well...if you insist," she grinned.

  
\---

  
Anna ducked into the 24-hour grocery near Jaehee's apartment. She definitely had the ingredients for the dish she wanted to make at home, but it was already so late. Such an errand would take her across town and back, and Anna didn't want to make Jaehee wait any longer than she'd already had to. She wasn't certain how many of the ingredients her friend would already have, but she didn't want to make any assumptions and then have Jaehee go, "Oh, I'm actually almost out of butter!" She wandered up and down the aisles, filling her basket with shallots, garlic, butter, olive oil, a lemon, cayenne pepper, a nice bottle of Chardonnay... _If you wouldn't drink it, don't cook with it!_ Besides, Anna was certain Jaehee could use a glass of wine right about now.

  
Breezing into Jaehee's home, Anna went straight to work, finely dicing the shallots at lightning speed. Normally, she'd have to devein the shrimp, too, but just this once, she'd bought them pre-prepped in the interest of saving time. Jaehee didn't own a garlic press, it seemed, but for an experienced chef, mincing by hand wasn't a problem. Anna planned to make her signature shrimp scampi; ground cayenne pepper was her secret to amping up the flavor. She'd never gotten a single negative review for this dish, and she couldn't help feeling a bit smug.

  
Normally, the restaurant stoves boiled water in ninety seconds flat. Jaehee's stove, on the other hand, took its time bringing the water up to temperature, giving Anna more than enough time to think; more time than she wanted, really. Her mind drifted off once again to the woman perched on the couch in the other room. She really did like Jaehee, she couldn't deny it anymore, and yet, she couldn't do a damn thing about it. Of course, she accepted the fact that Jaehee preferred men, and she would have to live with that, but this knowledge and acceptance didn't stop the feelings that had taken root in Anna's heart. She popped the cork out of the Chardonnay, pouring two glasses.

  
Jaehee took another sip of the wine Anna had brought. Normally she didn't like it too much, but this one appealed to Jaehee. It was mild in flavor, perfectly balanced between sweet and dry. Then again, maybe she was just biased in its favor since Anna had chosen it. Jaehee still struggled to understand exactly how she felt about Anna. She'd had a strange response before to seeing Anna in her bathing suit, and even now, her cheeks turned pink at the thought. But...Jaehee was straight, right? She liked men! She'd always dated men!

  
_But so what? It's not like a person has to choose just one..._ , the little voice in the back of her head reminded her.

  
She shook her head, bringing her focus back to the task at hand. She'd found Glam Choi's page on Wakapedia, her website, and all of her social media accounts, but of course, there wouldn't be anything of note on these pages; these were intended to be public information. Jaehee struggled even more with Sarah, considering she didn't even know the woman's last name! The delicious scent of red pepper, sauteed in butter, wafted into the living room from the kitchen, making her mouth water. As much as she tried to focus on her work, nothing could change the fact that she'd much rather be in the kitchen with Anna as she worked.

  
Finally, Anna announced that she'd finished, and Jaehee hurried into the kitchen, sliding on the tile floor in the pantyhose she still wore from the office. Anna couldn't help chuckling at her enthusiasm as she dished up the two plates of pasta. Jaehee wound a few strands of linguini around her fork and stabbed a shrimp, popping the bite into her mouth. She was suddenly very glad to have "allowed" Anna to come over. Shrimp Scampi was a classic dish for a reason. After all, who didn't like a sauce made from wine and butter? However, the bite of the red pepper following the savoriness of the shallot and butter pushed it over the edge. Jaehee's eyes rolled back into her head, and Anna laughed again.

  
"I'm guessing you like it?"

  
Jaehee nodded enthusiastically, mouth still full.

  
The apartment had no space for a dining table; normally, Jaehee would eat while sitting on the couch in front of the television. Now, they stood there in the kitchen eating, drinking the Chardonnay that remained, chatting about how their days had gone. It was simple, but sometimes simple was best. As overwhelmed as Jaehee had been before, she now felt entirely at peace. Something about this was so perfect, so... _right_.

  
"So that squirrelly fuck really just dumped all this work on you and ran off on vacation?"

  
Jaehee chuckled softly at Anna's word choice. "Well, not exactly. He's dealing with some family problems right now, and he needed to take a few personal days for his own sanity." She shook her head, a few stray hairs falling into her eyes.

  
"I guess I understand," Anna replied, distracted by the displaced fringe.

  
She leaned forward, brushing them back to the side. The room was suddenly deafeningly silent, and then, before either woman could process, it was happening.

  
Like two magnets, they drew closer to one another. The kiss was tentative at first, lips barely brushing against one another, and then they grew bolder, pressing together gently.

  
Jaehee's eyes fluttered shut, and she leaned in. She still didn't fully understand what was happening, or what she felt, but here, in this moment, she was okay with that. Maybe it was the wine talking, but right now, she felt perfectly content with exploring whatever this was. In some ways, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

  
Anna on the other hand, knew exactly what she was feeling. Her heart turned back-flips, feeling overjoyed that this was happening. She lifted a hand to cup Jaehee's face gently, lips moving slowly and softly against her. Jaehee's lips were soft, tasting faintly of cherry lip balm. Anna had never in a million years expected this to happen, but she couldn't help enjoying it.

  
Though, at the same time, she couldn't help feeling like this wasn't right. It was probably selfish of Anna to let it continue. Feelings of guilt began to override the pleasurability of the kiss. She pulled away abruptly, clearing her throat.

  
"I-I need to get going..." She rapidly grabbed her jacket and handbag, hurrying out of the apartment with Jaehee on her heels.

  
"Anna wait..." The door clicked shut, leaving Jaehee alone with her thoughts. Now that the kiss had ended, confusion flooded her once more. She pressed her fingers to her lips, as if trying to recapture the moment that had already passed. It was a strange thing; neither of them had meant for it to happen, and yet, it had been nice.

  
Jaehee felt more conflicted than ever. Did she like women after all? At least a little? Did she like men? Did she like both? _Should I try to go to confession tomorrow?_ Her Catholicism had taught for so long that this was a sin. Yet, Jaehee couldn't bring herself to feel that she'd done anything wrong. With an exasperated sigh, she flopped down onto the couch. No way would the rest of her work be getting done tonight.

\-----

A/N: Chapter 52 will be going up on Monday. I'm giving myself an extra day to work on it, because I expect it to be a little longer than normal. I promise it'll be worth the wait. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Also! Here is the URL for the music playlist I mentioned before:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLeqk-ZBuKTCDMBqUwFQgmRpsTGZebOHBb


	52. House of Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter gets super NSFW at the end, so be warned.

\---

The inside of the train went black as it passed through a tunnel, temporarily bathing Yoosung in darkness. The sun had not yet set beyond the horizon as it was still pretty early in the evening. Yuki's opening wouldn't commence for another hour, but the gallery was located on the opposite side of town from his apartment near SKY. He pouted momentarily. _Lucky Chae-Young could probably walk tonight! I think the gallery's right by Daesun..._

  
The train rattled a little on its tracks, and a nearby passenger bumped against Yoosung, apologizing profusely. People filled the car, but at least most of them smelled nice. Yoosung was certain he'd be covered in at least four different colognes by the time he reached his destination. The train was packed with couples on their way to their Valentine's Day dates. Yoosung couldn't help feeling a little bit envious. He resolved that when he had a girlfriend of his own, he'd spoil her, with extra-special plans on Valentine's. Maybe by this time next year...he'd be taking Chae-Young out for the evening. No, he'd make a whole day of it, starting with...breakfast in bed? Yoosung turned red, brushing away the bold thought.

  
Of course, he probably looked like he was on his way to a date himself. Yuki's experience with planning RFA parties had warped her ability to plan more minor functions. Yoosung felt mildly concerned about what she and Zen would come up with for their wedding. The promotional card announcing this show had requested semi-formal attire, and Yoosung felt just a little bit grateful for the packed train car. It forced him to stand, avoiding wrinkling his nice clothes. He'd dressed similarly to how he normally dressed for RFA parties, choosing a clean black-and-white color palette for this evening at Zen's suggestion.

  
Gazing at his reflection in the glass windows, Yoosung felt confident in how he looked tonight, and he was excited to see his friends, to see how Yuki's paintings had turned out. Yet, he still felt nervous, too. Yuki had made an off-handed comment about a month before, announcing to the RFA chat that she'd finished the paintings Yoosung had posed for. The situation explained, almost everyone had RSVP'd to her show almost immediately. Seven had made a LOT of lewd comments, even joking that he'd buy the pieces and hang them up in his living room. Thankfully, Yuki had refused to sell them to him, citing his impure motivations for wanting them.

  
Yoosung wondered what Chae-Young would think of the finished pieces. Would her heart race as she was reminded of the brief intimacy they'd shared? Which images had Yuki chosen for the final paintings? How salacious would the scenario appear? What would people say about them? What would they assume about his and Chae-Young's relationship?

  
He wasn't given much more time to mull over it, as the train pulled into the station near Daesun University. Yoosung squeezed off, grateful for the burst of cool, fresh air as he exited. He located the gallery easily, following the directions Yuki had texted to him earlier. Heart speeding up as he approached, Yoosung tried his best to assume an air of confidence, trying not to think about the fact that hundreds of people were about to look at pictures of him in his skivvies. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open, entering the space.

  
\---

  
At least one hundred people already filled the gallery, gazing at the art, discussing with one another, taking full advantage of the five-star refreshment table. Apparently, Yuki knew the chef from her time in the states, and had gotten the event catered at a reduced rate. "Aphrodisiacs" seemed to be the food's theme, fitting with the theme of the exhibition. Raw oysters, figs, and chocolate-covered strawberries were just a few of the items on offer tonight.

  
Yoosung looked up at the nearest painting. He grimaced at the image of a full-on man ass. That was far more of Zen than he'd ever wanted to see. "I don't know what I expected," he muttered to himself.

  
He wove his way through the crowd, finally managing to locate Yuki and Zen, who were presently attached at the hip. Zen seemed particularly amorous tonight; he was probably a little disappointed that he couldn't take Yuki on a date for their first Valentine's Day together, but he didn't show it, beaming with pride in his girlfriend. "So, have you seen them yet?" Yuki smirked.

  
"Not yet. I just got here. I'm probably going to wait for Chae-Young to get here before I look." Yoosung could feel the color rising in his cheeks again. Yuki and Zen exchanged a glance, and his face grew even hotter. "Why do you two always look at each other like that whenever I mention her?"

  
Yuki waved him off. "Oh, you know..." Her non-answer trailed off. "Oh! I think Chae-Young just got here!"

  
Yoosung turned to look. Chae-Young had indeed made her appearance, short hair visible in the distance. She had stopped by the door to check her jacket, not wanting to lug it around all evening. Now, she made her way toward them, having recognized Zen's silvery hair from across the room.

  
To say that Chae-Young looked "hot" or "sexy" tonight would be a severe understatement; it would do her a disservice. She'd chosen a v e r y short dress, backless and covered in large, pink sequins. She still wore more than she had in the images on show tonight, but she still managed to look equally appealing. Those thoughts and feelings still made Yoosung feel a little bit guilty, but he couldn't help being attracted to her, though he tried to keep his thoughts respectful. He didn't always succeed.

  
Chae-Young approached her friends, occasionally brushing her hand against the back of her skirt to make certain it covered everything it needed to cover. While she was happy to have gotten the garment on sale, it was pretty short. She didn't need anyone seeing the lacy, black underwear underneath. It seemed that Yoosung had already beaten her here, and she grinned widely, happy to see her friend. For a reason she couldn't quite understand, she vaguely hoped that he would like her dress.

  
If he did indeed like it, he hid it very well, giving Chae-Young no indication one way or another.

  
"Hair still looks good," she commented, ruffling Yoosung's soft blond hair gently.

  
"Hey, don't do that!" He whined, playfully swatting her hand away.

  
_Cute._ Yoosung had dressed up for the occasion, too, in a crisp, white shirt, and a black tie and suspenders. It was a classic look, and Chae-Young thought he actually looked rather handsome. His slim-fit black pants hugged his backside nicely, and she turned a bit red as she caught herself looking at Yoosung's butt. _W-Why am I looking?_

  
Chae-Young had been interested to see the paintings before, but now, she actually felt actively excited.

  
\---

  
Yuki shooed them off to the back of the gallery space to finally go and look. They both had to cringe a little at the title: _Just Friends_. The series of five images hung proudly for all to see, each canvas five feet tall. It began with the two poses Yoosung and Chae-Young had selected, followed by the image of them kissing and laughing, then the final two depictions of Chae-Young suggestively straddling Yoosung's lap. A passerby commented that it was arguably the most compelling work in the show.

  
Of course, Yoosung had expected to like the finished paintings, but when they'd been posing, he hadn't realized how... _erotic_...the final images would appear. Despite the fact that they'd been meticulously posed, the interactions came across as wholly authentic. The tongue-in-cheek title suddenly seemed a perfect fit. Here, they looked more like lovers. Yoosung stifled a sharp intake of breath, focusing all of his attention on preventing the erection that threatened to bloom.

  
Chae-Young didn't say anything either as she gazed at the pieces, a seemingly bored expression on her face. However, she didn't find the artwork in front of her dull at all. Rather, she found them quite lovely. From the selection of images, to Yuki's skillful execution, they were some of the most masterful paintings Chae-Young had seen in some time. Still, there was something else about them that appealed to her senses, and she struggled to find the words to express it.

  
Finally, it hit her: happiness. It made her happy to look at them. They made her feel warm, safe, even a little sentimental. Her eyes widened just a little as she realized that she wanted to reenact those images. She wanted to experience this over and over; the embrace, the closeness, the kiss. _Please...that kiss..._

  
Chae-Young swallowed hard, her heart rate quickening. She found these images...titillating. She hadn't felt like this in a long time. For years, her desires had been fleeting, serving only to bring numbness, but this...this was _real_ desire.

  
Her mind raced as she struggled to remain calm. Her eyes threatened to widen, her hands to shake, a small, gasping whine to escape her throat. Yet, she suppressed it. If there was one thing Chae-Young could do well, it was hide her emotions. Outside, she seemed calm, but inside, she had begun to panic. _What's going on with me tonight?!_ A hot blush crept over her cheeks.

  
Yoosung's voice snapped her back to reality. "D-Do you want something to drink?" Chae-Young could only nod in response, and Yoosung scuttled off toward the tables on the opposite side of the room. _Gotta take advantage of all of that free food!_ she thought, smirking. Once he was gone, she released the deep sigh she'd been holding back.

  
Yuki's boyfriend, Hyun, passed the paintings, accompanied by another man, with vibrant red hair and glasses. "They look well together," he commented to Hyun. The hair stood up on the back of Chae-Young's neck; she had to agree with him.

  
"I brought some food, too." Yoosung presented her with a glass of champagne and a plate piled high with oysters, avocado toast, and strawberries. _Aphrodisiacs._ She bit into a juicy strawberry, looking at Yoosung with brand-new eyes.

  
All of those occasional hints of feeling made sense now. His kindness, his gentle demeanor, had inspired affection in her. The line between friends and lovers had begun to grow blurry. Chae-Young's feelings for Yoosung were changing. The friendship remained, but it was joined by something else now, something far more romantic in nature. Her heart swelled as she was struck by the desire to kiss him. Though...other desires quickly began to surface in her mind too.

  
She'd never noticed before, but Yoosung was exactly her type, physically: slender, but not scrawny, with smooth, creamy skin that Chae-Young wanted to mark all over with sharp little love bites. They continued on to the other paintings, snacking, Chae-Young making little lewd jokes here and there, but one thing weighed heavily on her mind: what Yoosung would look like squirming and whimpering underneath her.

  
The red-headed man called out to Yoosung, waving him over. "I'll be back in a little bit, Chae."

  
Chae-Young wandered back to the five massive canvases, biting her lip as she cast her gaze over them once more. Surreptitiously, she slipped her phone out of her handbag, capturing a few pictures.

"Caught you." Yuki's voice made Chae-Young jump.

  
"Yuki! You scared the shit out of me!"

  
"Enjoying the view?" Yuki smirked, raising a knowing eyebrow.

  
Chae-Young sighed, eyelids drooping suggestively. "One of these days, I'm going to devour him whole."

  
"Be careful. He might devour you first."

  
Chae-Young waved off the remark. "He won't. He's like a puppy!"

  
Yuki chuckled. "Never forget, Chae-Young: all men are wolves. Some of them just wear sheep's clothing."

  
"Yeah, well, some women are wolves too."

  
\---

 

As Yuki's opening wound down, Yoosung bid Chae-Young good night. "Are you sure you don't want me to walk you back?"

  
As much as she wanted him to come home with her, Chae-Young knew that if she let Yoosung walk her back, she wouldn't let him leave for the rest of the night. She wanted to...and yet, she felt just a little bit wrong for wanting it. Her lust left her feeling a bit like a pervert. Her desire to pin Yoosung down and ride him until he screamed just seemed improper somehow.

  
"No, I'll be fine," she grinned, putting on an air of normalcy. "Besides, I've got an errand to run before I head home."

 

"Okay then, be safe!"

  
They parted ways. Chae-Young did indeed have an errand to run. On Valentine's Day, a certain store was bound to still be open. She sought something new to play with. If she was going to deny herself what she _really_ wanted, she could at least buy something to simulate the experience.

  
_Something smooth and naturally-shaped, 5-6 inches in length...Oh! and I want it to vibrate._

  
Yoosung rounded the corner, getting close to the train station, when he froze. Chae-Young had told him that she needed to run an errand, but he'd thought it would be for beer, or shampoo, or a bag of chips! Yet, here she was, coming out of an adult novelty store, shopping bag in hand. Yoosung turned bright red from head to toe, wondering what on earth she had bought. Of course, Chae was a grown woman! She had certain needs! Yoosung sincerely hoped that her purchase had been something that she intended to use solo. He didn't dare let the idea enter his head that she might be running off to meet some random fling. The jealousy would eat him alive.

  
Some force in the universe took Yoosung's side that night; not only did Chae-Young walk away without seeing him there, staring, but a stray breeze blew the receipt from her shopping bag. Yoosung picked it up, trying to decipher the abbreviated description. "RLSKN SLCN 6IN VBR."

  
_Oh._ He crumpled up the receipt and tossed it into a nearby bin, appearing to passersby as a fine upstanding citizen who hated litter.

  
Yoosung needed to hurry and get home. This excited him far too much, and he didn't want the general public to bear witness to the physical response he currently managed to suppress.

  
At home, Chae-Young poured herself a drink: a glass of nice whiskey that she'd bought for her birthday the previous year. She saved it for special occasions, and this felt like one. Chae-Young wasn't typically the kind of person who burned candles, but tonight, she lit a few on the table next to her bed, wanting to set the mood. Somehow, she felt a little nervous. She'd done this a million times, but this was the first time she'd be thinking of Yoosung while she did it. _Tonight is a special night._

  
\---

  
Swallowing the last sip of her whiskey, Chae-Young paused in front of her bed. She'd kicked off her heels as soon as she got in the door, but everything else still remained in the way. Normally, she'd just strip down unceremoniously, but she tried to imagine how Yoosung would undress her. He'd be slow and meticulous, gently stroking her skin, lovingly touching every new part revealed to him. Chae-Young tugged her dress off over her head, leaving only her lacy panties. She knelt in the center of her bed, closing her eyes and softly tracing her fingers over the fabric, teasing herself through it. The first sigh escaped her.

  
Chae-Young lay back, reaching for the toy she'd previously unboxed. Tentatively, she eased her panties down her legs, grazing her thumbs over her inner thighs. She pressed two fingers against her entrance, finding the fluids that already accumulated there. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten this... _wet_. Swallowing hard and closing her eyes once more, she grasped the silicon cock and positioned to against the opening.

  
Slowly, she pushed it into herself, fantasizing that it was Yoosung entering her instead. Chae-Young moaned softly as she stretched around it. Already she had begun to tingle all over. The mere thought of Yoosung inside her, coupled with the simulated sensation, was enough to drive her wild with need. She began to thrust it in and out with the inconsistent rhythm of a first-timer, imagining the cute little moans he'd make, unused to the feeling of intimacy. _Fuck me, Yoosung._

  
In his own home, Yoosung too had taken things into his own hands, so to speak. He'd managed to discern what Chae-Young had bought, and as he rapidly stroked his rigid cock, he dared imagine that maybe she was using it right now, making her own toes curl as she fucked herself with it. A steady stream of pre-cum ran down Yoosung's length, the slickness of the fluid intensifying the sensation as he bucked his hips into his hand, soft whines flowing from him, punctuated by little gasps of pleasure.

  
His mind drifted off in fantasy, and he imagined all of the things he'd let Chae do to him. _You can do whatever you want with me. I'm yours..._ He very badly wanted to bury his face between her thighs, to make her come just from the feeling of his mouth on her. Yoosung's hips bucked involuntarily, his wet cock threatening to spill all over his hand. _Please fuck me, Chae!_

  
"Hah..." Chae-Young plunged the vibrator in deeper, faster, harder. She squirmed under her own ministrations, imagining the lewd sound of Yoosung's hips slapping against her ass as he buried his cock inside her. He'd pound into her roughly, desperately, mumbling incoherently about how wet she was for him, how badly he wanted to make her come, how _good_ she felt wrapped around him. Chae-Young switched on the "vibrate" function, a loud whine passing her lips.

 

Somehow, this fantasy aroused her far more than any of her previous experiences. There was just something about Yoosung that suddenly seemed so damn _sexy_ to her. Something that made her want to feel his mouth all over her. Something that made her want to tangle her fingers in his hair and pull until he cried out in pain and pleasure. Chae-Young pulled her legs back, slipping the toy out to briefly tease herself before shoving it back in with a breathy moan. "Yoosung..."

  
Yoosung slid his hand faster and harder along his shaft, crying out in near-ecstasy. He felt hot all over, growing desperate for relief. His needy cock throbbed in his hand; he was getting close. Yoosung panted in time with his strokes, gripping the edge of the bed so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He whimpered Chae-Young's name over and over, as if saying it enough times would make her magically appear in front of him.

  
He'd want her to shove him back on the bed and climb on top of him, pinning him down. Yoosung longed to feel her lower herself onto him, rolling her hips onto him. Chae-Young would wrap her hands around his throat gently, but not too gently, and squeeze, just until he whined breathily, begging her to fuck him harder. Yoosung wanted to feel her trembling on top of him as she came, but continued to ride his cock until he spilled messily inside her, shaking and panting.

  
Yoosung cried out loudly as he came, his whole body quivering in ecstasy. Hot cum coated his hand, cock twitching in response to his decadent fantasies. A few more soft moans escaped him and his hips twitched forward, riding out the climax. His face flushed as he looked over the wanton mess he had made.

  
Chae-Young balled up the blankets in her free hand, back arching dramatically as she hit her own peak. She moaned desperately, indecently as she came harder than she ever had before in her life. She continued to thrust the surrogate cock into her quivering cunt, screaming Yoosung's name, her fluids beginning to drip from her body, running down her thighs. _If only you were here to help clean me up..._

  
The act finally complete, she lay in bed, panting, afterglow clouding her mind. This confirmed it: she really did have feelings for Yoosung. She really did want him. She longed for his touch, his kiss, his love. Though, on some level, she wondered if she really deserved someone as pure and perfect as him. In her own eyes, she probably didn't. But at this moment, Chae-Young felt far too content and satisfied to worry too much about it.

\-----

A/N: If you were wondering, which you probably weren't, [this](https://images.urbanoutfitters.com/is/image/UrbanOutfitters/40416299_040_e?%24xlarge%24&hei=900&fit=constrain) is the dress Chae-Young was wearing in this chapter, at least until she took it off.


	53. Vulnerability

While four days of vacation could never be a bad thing, they sure hadn't served their purpose very well. After three joyless days of struggling to relax, Jumin was no closer to understanding all of the bizarre thoughts and feelings clouding his mind, or to an amenable solution that would both please his father, and prevent an unwanted arranged marriage. In the end, the trip had been completely pointless; it had only served to put him behind at work, and inconvenience the people around him. Jumin had hoped that his brief holiday would clear his thoughts a little, but ultimately, it had merely provided the opportunity for him to stew in them with no real, productive distractions.

  
At least Elizabeth would be happy to see him, he hoped. She'd spent the last four days being loved and cuddled by Sun-Mi. Jumin almost envied her. However, it was time for Elizabeth to come home now. He headed toward Sun-Mi's building now to collect his pet, hoping that the cat would be willing to leave without too much of a fuss. Jumin didn't like the idea of bothering Sun-Mi any further with his personal issues.

  
Sun-Mi's voice answered the intercom softly when he called upstairs. "Yes?"

  
"Sun-Mi, it's Jumin. I'm here to retrieve Elizabeth."

  
"Of course." Her voice sounded almost timid, and she spoke no further before buzzing him in. Jumin couldn't help feeling a bit concerned, but convinced himself that he was overreacting, that his tense mental state had led him to see trouble where there was none. _She's been at work all day. She's probably tired._

  
He gave a couple of sharp knocks on the door, waiting patiently for Sun-Mi to answer. He heard her shuffle toward the door, then undo the knob lock, deadbolt, and safety chain. _Does she always use the chain?_ Jumin could swear that he'd never heard her use it before. _Two lock clicks, and that's it._ The door opened just a bit, only half of Sun-Mi's face visible. "She's all ready to go," she notified him softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she slid Elizabeth's carrier through the opening.

  
This was absolutely not normal. The Sun-Mi Jumin knew would have opened the door wide, cat still cradled in her arms, and invited him in for a cup of tea while she gathered Elizabeth's things. Now, she cowered behind the door, seemingly anxious for them to leave.

  
"Sun-Mi...Is...everything okay?"

  
She wouldn't meet his gaze. "Y-Yeah. It's fine." Sun-Mi was a bad liar.

  
"You're not acting like yourself. Did something happen?" Jumin's voice turned firm. "If something happened, you have to tell me, understood?"

  
"Look, everything's fine," she snapped, growing irritated. "Just take your cat and go."

  
"Sun-Mi, what is going on with you?!" Jumin caught himself raising his voice. He wasn't angry with her, but he was growing increasingly worried.

  
"N-Nothing..." she trailed off, voice weak again.

  
Worry for Sun-Mi clouding his better judgment, Jumin laid the palm of his hand on the door, forcing it open. Sun-Mi stumbled backward at the intrusion, screaming at him to leave. When she finally stilled enough for Jumin to take a good look at her, all of the sudden timidity began to make sense.

  
\---

  
A heavy black-and-blue bruise had bloomed over Sun-Mi's right eye, contrasting with the lightly flushed abrasion of her cheek. Her lip swelled where it had been split before, and now, it trembled softly. Sun-Mi cast her gaze to the side, ashamed to be seen this way. Mostly, she just looked like a scared kitten, cowering in fear, desperate for comfort and safety.

  
A thousand questions swarmed Jumin's mind, making his head spin. He grew dizzy, his mouth dry. His heart raced and he suddenly felt nauseous. He couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened to Sun-Mi, but it had happened, and all of the money in the world couldn't make up for it. Jumin's eyes widened, and he covered his mouth with one hand to hold back a loud gasp. He felt sick.

  
"W-Who hurt you?"

  
"I-I don't know. I got mugged outside of a grocery store." She refused to meet his gaze again, revealing her lie.

  
"Please...be honest with me!" Jumin pleaded with her, taking a step forward.

  
Sun-Mi moved back, shaking. "J-Just go...please. If they see you here again..." She snapped her mouth shut, already having said too much.

  
"'They?'" The cogs began to turn in Jumin's head, the truth starting to click into place. "Did...Sarah and Glam Choi have something to do with this?"

  
Silence.

  
"Did they come here? Did they _hurt_ you?" Jumin's voice was desperate, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered now. Nothing mattered except for...

  
...except for Sun-Mi. One singular, particular thread finally unwound itself. Jumin's heart swelled with affection for her. He didn't have a good word for what he felt now, but it was like...he'd finally found something he hadn't even known he'd been missing. All he wanted now was to bring Sun-Mi into his world and never let her go, never let her get hurt, never feel unloved.

  
At the same time, this was terrifying. This was different. Jumin had never in his life expected to feel this way about anyone. He had never _wanted_ to feel this way. Not to mention, these feelings were for _Sun-Mi Dang_ , of all women. She'd seemed so insufferable to him in the beginning, always having some smart-mouthed remark to make, always questioning his authority, always with that attitude!

  
Now, she couldn't seem more perfect. Yes, maybe that was the right word after all. Before Jumin could process what was happening, his body moved instinctively. He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Sun-Mi and cradling her face gently against his chest. She let him. He stroked her hair gently, squeezing her just a little bit too tightly.

  
Sun-Mi whimpered as Jumin's thumb pressed against one of the large, nasty bruises on her rib cage. He flinched away, horrified that he might have harmed her. "Did I hurt you?"

  
"No, you just pressed against a bruise. I'm still sore."

  
"Show me." Sun-Mi couldn't quite decipher Jumin's sudden change in behavior; so protective, so gentle, so...loving? Something about the tone of his voice bewitched her, and, feeling a little shy, she lifted her shirt just enough to display the multicolored marks mottling her flesh.

  
"This is all my fault..." he murmured, eyebrows knitting together. His eyes narrowed, like he might actually cry. Sun-Mi had never seen Jumin like this. He looked so honest, so raw in this moment. She could tell he was just sick with himself, and so worried for her. Maybe just this once, Sun-Mi could be honest about what she felt, be vulnerable with another person.

  
Before she could suppress them, tears welled in her eyes, spilling over her long eyelashes and down her freckled cheeks. She cried louder than she liked, her great, gasping sobs releasing all of the pain she'd hidden deep inside. Sun-Mi's instinct was to be ashamed of herself, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She needed this catharsis, even if Jumin was to be privy to it.

  
Without saying a word, he reached into a pocket inside his jacket, producing a silk handkerchief. Ever so gently, he cradled Sun-Mi's face in one hand, dabbing at her wet eyes with the cloth in the other. Of course, this act of kindness only made her cry harder, but Jumin persisted, reassuring her softly. "Everything will be alright now..."

  
She gazed at him, blue eyes wide open. Her heart fluttered as she looked him over, at his intense gray eyes, his silky black-brown hair, his focused expression as he dried her tears. The buds of affection in Sun-Mi's heart burst into full-bloom, a slight blush painting her face as her fondness for Jumin began to run deeper than before.

  
"Come stay with me," he suggested suddenly, unexpectedly.

  
"W-What?" Sun-Mi's blush deepened.

  
"Just for a little while, until all of this gets sorted out. No one can hurt you in my home."

  
"Don't worry about me...really."

  
Jumin grasped her shoulders gently, his eyes pleading with her. "I have to take responsibility for what has happened to you. Please, let me keep you safe."

  
\---

  
As much as she didn't want to admit it, staying with Jumin temporarily _did_ sound rather nice. For the first time since the attack, he'd made her feel safe, and she didn't want to lose that feeling now. Part of her, a shameful part deep inside, wanted to curl up in his arms and stay there forever, but the rest of her thought better of it. This was merely a friendly courtesy in return for her troubles. It wasn't as though Jumin wanted to take her home and into his... _bed_ , or anything. All the same, Sun-Mi wanted to go. At the very least, she'd have the assurance of her safety.

  
"Well, if you insist," she smiled weakly. "Would you like a cup of tea while I pack a bag?"

  
After brewing Jumin's cup of Earl Grey, Sun-Mi padded off into her bedroom to gather her things, throwing some clothes and toiletry items into a suitcase, and filling a large canvas tote with Choo-Choo's things. She dragged the cat out from under her bed and nudged him into his travel carrier. He meowed loudly in protest; this crate typically landed him at the vet, with a thermometer in his butt. She returned to the living room. "I think I'm ready."

  
Jumin placed his empty cup on the coffee table in front of him and stood up. Gently, he tugged the hood of Sun-Mi's jacket up over her head, concealing her identity. "Those women may have someone keeping an eye on the building."

  
Both Jumin and Sun-Mi remained rather quiet throughout the long drive to Jumin's penthouse. His driver had merely glanced at her, smiling politely. "Will Miss Dang be joining you, then?" He didn't ask any further questions, and Sun-Mi was grateful for it. She chewed nervously on her lip, staring out the window. Part of her felt as though she should try to fill the silence with some sort of conversation, no matter how mundane, but then again, wouldn't that just make things more awkward?

  
Finally, she was spared from the uncomfortable situation when the town car pulled into a private, closed-off section of an underground garage. An adjacent door led to the lobby where she and Mina had taken the elevator up to Jumin's New Year's party. Driver Kim followed them into the elevator, carrying Sun-Mi's bags. She'd been terribly drunk the last time she'd set foot in Jumin's home, and it suddenly seemed terribly large and extravagant now that she was here sober. _Choo-Choo, I swear, if you shit on the floor..._

  
Jumin led her down a short hallway, motioning for Driver Kim to follow with the bags. He opened the door to the largest of several guest rooms. "I hope this suits your liking." Larger than Sun-Mi's bedroom at home, this room boasted a king size bed and an attached bathroom with a jacuzzi tub. _You sure know how to treat a girl._ Jumin stepped back into the doorway, waving to someone down the hall. An older woman appeared next to him.

  
"Madame Masson, please run a bath for Miss Dang. She's had a long day and deserves to relax." He turned back to Sun-Mi. "I'll have some food prepared for us, so please come back to the dining room when you've finished with your bath."

  
\---

  
A heady sigh escaped Sun-Mi as she settled into the bath that Madame Masson had prepared for her. The scent of rose enveloped her, as Madame thought this fragrance suited Sun-Mi best. She was a kind woman, conversing with her in French. _"Profitez de votre bain mademoiselle. Je ferai en sorte que Monsieur Han vous traite comme une princesse. Bonne nuit."_ Sun-Mi massaged the bubbles into her flesh, taking special care not to disturb her injuries. Mostly, she just lay there in the soapy water, staring at the opposite wall, wondering how she'd gotten to this point. She lifted one hand from the bath, watching the steam rise from her skin.

  
She remembered the feelings that had surfaced in her before. She sank lower into the water, groaning. She didn't _really_ like Jumin, did she? _Of course not! That would be silly! Just silly!_ She most definitely did _not_ have feelings for him. She most definitely did _not_ feel just the tiniest bit excited to see him in a more natural state. And she most certainly _DID NOT_ consider the idea that maybe she'd feel just a little bit safer if she slept next to him tonight. Sun-Mi dunked her head under the water, staying there until she couldn't hold her breath any longer. She came up, gasping for air. Maybe this would restart her brain. She began to calm herself. Of course she'd felt just the slightest bit attached to Jumin earlier. She'd been in an extremely vulnerable state, and he'd been there for her. The affection she felt had been of an appreciative nature! Of course!

  
At nearly 10:00 at night, Sun-Mi finally joined Jumin at the dining table, surprised as he jumped up to pull her chair out for her. "It's very late to be eating dinner, so we'll be having a smaller meal. My personal chef has prepared stewed clams and bruschetta." Not entirely certain whether she'd had a proper meal since her attack, Sun-Mi went straight to work on her food as Jumin looked on in mild amusement. She felt a bit guilty, however, that Jumin should go out of his way to take care of her. He didn't seem to mind in the slightest; rather, he seemed eager to do it. Sun-Mi rested her fork on the edge of her plate, turning to face him.

  
"Jumin?"

  
He looked up at her. "Yes?"

  
"Ah...you shouldn't worry so much about me." Sun-Mi looked off in the other direction, never fully prepared for the intensity of his gaze.

  
"Why do you say that?"

  
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Well...I'm not really anyone special. You shouldn't waste your time with someone like me."

  
Jumin tilted his head, face clouded with confusion. "What do you mean by 'someone like me'?"

  
"Well...there's the whole illegitimacy thing, and, well, I'm not particularly pretty, or interesting..."

  
"You shouldn't talk about yourself like that." _"You're perfect,"_ Jumin wanted to say. "Your value isn't defined by your parentage, and, as for the other things...You don't need to worry about that. There's nothing wrong with your looks, and you're plenty interesting. I know I personally enjoy talking with you."

  
_Do you really mean that?_ Sun-Mi let the subject drop as she finished her food, feeling just a little bit better about the whole situation.

  
\---

  
"It's getting late," Jumin commented, glancing at the clock on the living room wall. He'd popped open a bottle of wine and he'd spent the last hour with Sun-Mi in the living room, just talking, about his current work projects, Sun-Mi's various hobbies (he had been rather surprised to learn that she was an adept seamstress), books she'd read recently, cat stories... "You should try to sleep. I'm sure you need the rest."

  
Sun-Mi nodded in agreement, swallowing the last of her wine. She placed the empty glass on a nearby coaster, suddenly getting a very funny look on her face.

  
"What is it?" he asked her.

  
"I-I...forgot to pack any pajamas." She turned bright pink.

  
Of course, she could just sleep in her underwear, but Jumin wasn't about to suggest that to her. It simply wouldn't be proper. "I'll figure something out for you." He waved her off. "You go get ready for bed, and I'll leave them outside your room." Sun-Mi headed off for her bedroom, leaving Jumin alone with his thoughts.

  
Certainly, he could have a set of pajamas delivered here, but Sun-Mi didn't know that. Another idea had occurred to him, one that was much more _appealing_ than normal pajamas. Besides, if he had a set delivered, he'd have to choose what kind, and no matter what he decided, there would be something to read into it. No, this was a much better solution all-around.

  
Jumin stood, heading off into his own bedroom and into his wardrobe. He gazed at his array of custom-made cotton button-up shirts, each with a tiny "JH" monogrammed on the sleeve. He removed a single hanger from the rack, holding one of his favorite shirts- white, with vertical, grey stripes. Sun-Mi would look much, much cuter in this, not that he'd get to witness such a lovely sight himself. The sleeves would be too long for her... He wondered if she'd even be willing to wear this to sleep. Maybe it was too forward, but the idea of Sun-Mi, dressed only in this shirt and her panties, tempted him far too much for Jumin to not even give it a try. Perhaps he could play it off as an absurdist joke if it backfired.

  
Hearing the brief knock at her door, Sun-Mi wrapped her robe around herself and went for the door. Jumin had already gone when she opened it, but a single hanger rested on the doorknob, holding a men's button-up shirt. A hot blush swept over her face as she recognized it as one of Jumin's. She couldn't believe he'd be so bold as to suggest that she sleep in his clothing! And yet, she found herself dropping her robe to the floor, replacing it with the fine cotton garment. This was quite embarrassing, but the shirt felt nice on her body, and she felt...almost sexy wearing it.

  
Sun-Mi switched off the lamp next to the bed and crawled under the covers, her body sinking into the memory foam mattress. Choo-Choo stretched his front legs out, yawning and curling into a ball next to her. In the secrecy of the dark, Sun-Mi lifted the shirt's collar to her nose, inhaling deeply. _Leather and Saffron._ Comforted by the scent, her eyelids began to droop. She felt more confused than ever, but at least she felt safe, and cared for. Before long, Sun-Mi had drifted off into a deep sleep.


	54. A Favor to Ask

Mina had officially started to panic. For the fourth day in a row, Sun-Mi had failed to show up for work. Normally, Mina tended to be pretty laid back about things, but _four days_?! Without calling, texting, emailing, anything? She'd probably tried to call Sun-Mi a million times now, and every time, her phone would ring five, six times, and then go to voicemail. Mina comforted herself with the fact that if something were seriously wrong, the phone would go straight to voicemail. Sun-Mi was, at the very least, alive and charging her phone.

  
Something had to have happened. In the past, Sun-Mi always called to notify everyone if she'd be out. For her to suddenly close herself off, to completely disappear off the face of the earth, was very out of character. She was usually more professional than that. Mina eyed her cell phone, willing it to ring with a call back. It didn't. _Couldn't hurt to give it another shot._ _You never know!_ She tapped the picture of Sun-Mi's face, holding the phone up to her ear. One ring...Two rings...Three rings...Four rings...

  
Mina was prepared to give up when the phone suddenly clicked with connection, instead of going to Sun-Mi's mailbox, which was probably full of Mina's panicked voice messages at this point. It wasn't Sun-Mi's voice that answered, but rather a masculine one. "Sun-Mi Dang's phone, this is Jumin Han speaking."

  
Mina very nearly fell out of her desk chair. "M-Mr. Han! I've been trying to get a hold of Sun-Mi for three days! Have you spoken to her? Is she alright?"

  
"She is safe, Miss Park. Would you like to speak with her?"

  
"Yes, please." Mina breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that her best friend hadn't up and died, or anything, but now she had new questions. _First of all, what are you doing with Mr. Han, young lady?_

  
"I'll take you to her." Jumin padded down the hallway to the guest room where he'd housed Sun-Mi for the time-being. He hadn't seen or heard from her all morning; she had to still be in here. He knocked softly on the door. "Sun-Mi?" Sun-Mi didn't answer.

  
Slowly, Jumin turned the knob, slowly opening the door just a crack. Met by silence, he eased the door all the way open. Sun-Mi still lay in bed, fast asleep, dressed in Jumin's striped shirt and covered by the bed's thick blankets. Her deep brown hair fanned out across the pillow, and her soft, pink lips parted just slightly as she breathed. Jumin couldn't help watching her for a few brief moments; she just looked so precious like this. So badly he wanted to wake her with a soft kiss. He'd been right before. She did look cute in his shirt.

  
Sun-Mi shifted in her sleep, turning over so that her back was toward Jumin. As she moved, the covers were tugged away, revealing part of her lower half. In her sleep, the shirt had bunched up around her hips, revealing her light pink panties. Jumin very rapidly backed out of the room, closing the door quickly and silently, lest he gaze for too long and lose control of himself.

  
"Uh...Mr. Han?"

  
"Oh, right, Miss Park, yes, I'm sorry," he stammered, covering his eyes with one hand. "Sun-Mi is still asleep, and I don't want to wake her. I'll tell her to give you a call when I return from work this evening."

  
_Still asleep..._ "Mr. Han...where are you right now, if you don't mind me asking?"

  
"I...suppose I should explain. Sun-Mi is staying with me in my home temporarily-"

  
He was cut off by a garbled sound coming from Mina on the other end. _No WONDER she hasn't been picking up her phone! She's been busy!_

  
"This is for her own safety, nothing more, Miss Park. Sun-Mi was attacked in her home over the weekend, by my father's fiancee, and the woman he has intended for me to marry. I am keeping her here for now so that they won't be able to harm her again."

  
Mina clenched her teeth together, balling her hand into a fist. _Is Mina Park gonna have to choke a bitch?_ "I want to help, if I can."

  
"There may be something you can do. I know that you have a way of getting your hands on information through... _ethically dubious_...means."

  
"You want me to dig up some dirt on those women? To make them go away?" A malicious smile crept up Mina's face. "I believe that could be arranged."

  
"I know people like you tend to prefer to work alone, but I've got a guy-"

  
"707?"

  
"Yes. I'm thinking that if you worked collaboratively, you might be able to cover more ground, back each other up."

  
"I can play nice. Give him a call for me, see what he thinks. I'm game if he is."

  
\---

  
Jumin hesitated for a bit before placing a phone call to Seven, not exactly thrilled with the idea of being in his debt. Of course, Sun-Mi's safety was worth it, but he certainly hoped that Seven wouldn't expect a playdate with Elizabeth in return for his help. Jumin dialed the number, and the younger man picked up after a couple of rings, his voice terse, as if he were presently focused intently on something. "Yes?"

  
"Listen, I'm not going to mince words. I need a favor from you."

  
"Oh-ho!~" Seven's playfulness returned. "Of course, you'll owe me..." Jumin could practically see his glasses glinting.

  
"Let me explain the situation: Recently, my father became involved with Glam Choi, the actress, and they are planning to marry."

  
"So the rumors are true!"

  
"Unfortunately, yes. Now, they want me to marry Glam's student, Sarah."

  
"Gosh, how exciting~" Seven cut in once more.

  
Jumin could feel a vein pulsing on the side of his head. "Last week, Glam and Sarah attacked a young woman employed by my company. They believed that she and I were...involved..."

  
"Are you involved?"

  
"That isn't any of your business. But...no." Jumin couldn't believe that they were really having this conversation.

  
"But you want to be?" Seven sounded just a little too hopeful.

  
Jumin's face grew hot. "Please, stay focused on the subject at hand."

  
_That's one way to dodge a question..._ "What exactly do you need me to do?"

  
"I need you to find out what's really going on with Glam Choi and Sarah. They have to be hiding something. This is escalating far too quickly. I need information to prove to my father that this is a mistake. I asked Assistant Kang to look into it, but there's a limit to what she can access."

  
"So basically, you need me to dig up dirt. Sounds like a fun game."

  
"Also, I would like you to work collaboratively with another one of my employees."

  
"Mina Park?"

  
"Yes, actually. She's a close friend of the woman who was attacked." _How do you know the identity of Miss Park?_

  
"I'll help you." This would be an interesting challenge for Seven, an opportunity to test his skills. At the same time, he'd get a peek at Mina's abilities. He'd get to find out just how good she really was, to see just how much he needed to improve if he wanted to surpass her. Besides, he wanted to talk to her again. Conversations with Mina were never boring. She stimulated him intellectually, and she seemed to share his same sensibilities. There was something about her that was just... _exciting_.

  
He shook his head. No, he couldn't risk developing any sort of feelings for Mina. He didn't need any distractions from his work, and he couldn't put her in danger like that. For Seven, people were supposed to be temporary. _Put those feelings back where they came from or so help me..._ They'd go away if they were ignored, right? Like a stray cat, they'd only persist if you fed them. Of course he would do the favor for Jumin, but he'd need to be a complete professional about this.

  
\---

  
Mina initiated contact. By busting through Seven's firewall. Again.

  
He sighed, removing his large, orange headphones and replacing them with a headset and mic. "How do you keep doing that?" Mina only laughed in response. "I mean, I wrote that coding language myself. I don't see how you were able to crack it."

  
"Oh, your algorithm was actually pretty simple."

  
"Not really!" Seven was already starting to grow flustered. He'd been pretty satisfied with himself when he finished writing that algorithm.

  
"Hmm...Maybe I'm just that good, then."

  
"Whatever, I'm going to go ahead and get started. I've got a database I can run the names through." He opened the intelligence database on another computer, on a separate network, free from Mina's prying eyes.

  
"Oh, from your intelligence agency?"

  
Seven nearly spit Ph.D. Pepper all over his expensive equipment. _How?_ "Well, if you're such a good little hacker, why don't you get to work on accessing their private computers. I should be able to get IP numbers for you within the next couple of minutes."

  
"I'll do my best!" Mina slipped a hair band off of her wrist and tied her deep violet hair back into her signature ponytail. This would certainly be a nice challenge. Her competitive side began to take over. _We can see who's really the best!_

  
Seven managed to trace Glam's IP number, passing it off to Mina so that she could begin her witchcraft, but he'd hit a roadblock after that. He couldn't seem to find a single piece of information regarding Sarah, even in relation to Glam. For all intents and purposes, she did not exist. Perhaps "Sarah" was a fake name. Even if that were the case, they'd still be no closer to finding any pertinent information about the woman. That answer would only yield more questions.

  
Perhaps it would be best to go back to Glam for now, reexamine everything, check out anyone mentioned as having ties to her. There had to be something Seven had missed before. He returned to his previous query, and began poring over the information a second time. Finally, something did catch his eye.

  
"Here's something."

  
"I'm listening."

  
"It seems Glam had a sister, but she died. I know, that isn't all that interesting or suspicious on its own, but her sister owned a company, called Sugar Round. That company is in someone else's name now."

  
"Sarah."

  
"Yes. I'd start looking into this sister. Maybe she had a connection to Sarah that can help us track her down."

  
"Way ahead of you," Mina replied, accessing Glam's sister's government records.

  
"I have to admit, you're pretty good," Seven commented, grinning.

  
"You're not so bad yourself."

  
Seven's eyelids lowered just a bit. "Be careful not to get too attached to me. I'm dangerous, you know."

  
Mina laughed. "I always knew there was more to Saeyoung Choi than meets the eye."

  
Color rose in Seven's face. _I barely know you... How can you cut straight to the core of me, like it's nothing?_ Remaining professional would prove harder than he'd thought.


	55. A Sister's Advice

\---

Meandering his sedan into the airport's "pick-up" zone and pulling the parking break, Jihyun leaned back in the driver's seat, sighing. _Finally_ his vision had returned enough that he could drive again, though it did take a few days of cautious cruising to get the hang of it after being out of commission for a year. As soon as Dr. Kim had cleared him to get behind the wheel, Jihyun had gone straight to re-apply for his license. He'd forgotten how nice it felt to just go for a drive with the windows down, gusts of wind blowing his hair about, stopping occasionally to capture a particularly lovely vista on film.

 

If the text he'd received the day before was correct, and there'd been no delays, Kat's flight had arrived at 3:00. The time neared 5:00 now, plenty of time for her to disembark, claim her luggage, and get through customs. Jihyun sent her a quick text. "I'm in the pick-up zone whenever you get through." She responded quickly, notifying him that she'd almost made it to the front of the line, and she'd be out soon.

  
Kat had taken a few days to fly back to the states to visit family. Jihyun briefly wondered what they were like. Were they creative too? Were they as warm, and open, and generous? Did they look like her, with wild brunette curls and freckles and intense, bright blue eyes? Kat had a younger sister; he knew that much: Danielle.

  
Finally he saw her, wandering out from the "arrivals." She looked worn-out from the long flight, but content, dressed in a pair of leggings and a loose sweatshirt with "YALE" printed across the chest. She grinned as she spotted Jihyun at the wheel, plodding over to the car. He climbed out to help load her bags into the back seat, pleased to have Kat back safe.

  
"Hey, Ji," she yawned, eyes squinching shut.

  
Jihyun chuckled. "Tired?"

  
She rubbed her eyes with the side of her hand. "Yeah. I can't ever seem to sleep on airplanes, sitting up straight like that. Besides, this kid behind me kept kicking my seat. It was like the worst massage chair ever. I'm gonna pass out as soon as I get home." Kat slid into the passenger seat, slipping her feet out of her suede clogs to pull her legs up into the seat with her to sit pretzel-style. She sighed with relief. "It feels so good to be able to cross my legs again!"

  
"Did you have a good time?" Jihyun asked, returning to the driver's seat.

  
Kat yawned again. "Yeah, I'm glad I got to see my family. Still, it's good to come home, too. My life is here now, and I like it. I bet my dogs missed me so much... I'm picking them up from the pet hotel tomorrow."

  
_Your dogs aren't the only ones that missed you._ "Well, I'm glad you made it back safely."

  
"Yeah, me too," she replied, leaning her head against the window and sighing softly.

  
\---

  
A few minutes of silence passed as Jihyun navigated his way out of the airport and back onto the road home. "Do you need to stop by anywhere before I take you home?" Kat didn't answer him. He glanced over, checking to make sure she was alright. She was fine, of course, eyes clamped shut, her breathing deep and steady. Relaxed and moderately comfortable for the first time since leaving the states, she'd fallen asleep.

  
Jihyun could only laugh softly to himself, smirking lightly. _Cute._ She seemed so different like this; silent, soft, small. Kat had such a big personality during her waking hours. She was loud, boisterous, wild. It interested Jihyun to see her in this different light. After all, even a lioness had to sleep sometimes. Carefully, so as not to wake her, he pulled over to the side of the road, taking a quick picture with his phone.

  
Before he could return to the road, Jihyun could hear a faint vibrating sound coming from Kat's backpack. He looked over to see her cell phone in the side pocket, lighting up as it rang. A young woman's face appeared on the screen, with long, straight, brown hair, and Kat's same blue eyes. "Danielle."

  
Rather than wake Kat, he reached for the phone himself, quietly exiting the vehicle. "Kat's phone."

  
"Um, hi...Is Kat there? This is her sister." Danielle sounded confused, like she hadn't expected someone else to answer.

  
"Yes, hello, sorry. This is Jihyun Kim. I'm a friend of Kat's. I picked her up from the airport, and she fell asleep in the car. I didn't want to wake her up," he explained

  
"Oh, I understand. I just wanted to make sure she got in safely."

  
"I'll tell her to call you when I get her home."

  
"Um...forgive me if this is forward, but...Kat didn't mention having a boyfriend."

  
Jihyun's face turned red, and he sputtered as he rushed to clarify. "Oh! No...I'm not her boyfriend! We're just friends! Really!"

  
Danielle laughed softly, not totally believing him. "You don't sound too sure about that." She paused. "Listen, there's something you should probably know about Kat, in the case that you _did_ have feelings for her, hypothetically."

  
"W-What is it?" Jihyun asked, feeling slightly worried.

  
"On the outside, she comes across as really friendly and personable, right?"

  
"Yes."

  
"Well, inside, it's really hard for her to get close to people."

  
"What do you mean, exactly?"

  
"For a long time, now...she's had a bad habit of running away from people. The second she starts to get close to someone, as soon as she starts to have feelings, she runs. I think she's afraid of being tied down. She's a wild soul, but I think she believes that who she is is incompatible with any sort of long-term commitment."

  
"Do you think she'll ever change?"

  
Danielle sighed. "For her own sake, I hope so."

  
"Maybe...she needs someone just as wild to run alongside her," Jihyun mused, biting his lip.

  
"Or at the very least, someone willing to follow her to the ends of the earth."

  
\---

  
Back on the road, Jihyun's mind wandered back to his conversation with Danielle. All of it worried him. He didn't want Kat to run away from him, too. What if she misinterpreted his friendship for something more? Would she turn away? Would she disappear? After everything that had happened, Jihyun wasn't sure he could endure that. Maybe it was selfish in some way, but Kat had given him something to hold onto when he felt like he was starting to lose his grip.

  
Worst of all, he had to wonder if, on some level, he HAD started to develop feelings for Kat. He did find her cute, pretty, and he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. She was fun, and kind, and a brilliant artist. Though, didn't people generally have that sort of affection for a close friend? Of course. Being with Kat felt completely different than how being with Rika had felt. Jihyun comforted himself with this. Surely Kat wouldn't run as long as their relationship remained firmly in "friendship" territory.

  
Distracted, he hit a pot hole in the road, jostling Kat awake. "Mmmph...wha? She yawned and stretched. "Shit, I guess I fell asleep, huh?" She laughed sheepishly.

  
"Your trip must have worn you out."

  
"Kind of. Danielle took me out drinking the last night I was there."

  
"What was the occasion? She called, by the way, to make sure you got back okay."

 

Kat nodded. "We were celebrating my birthday."

  
Jihyun's eyes widened. "You didn't tell me it was your birthday."

  
"It's not for another week and a half, so don't worry, you didn't miss it." She smirked, a glimmer in her eye.

  
"You have to let me take you out to dinner. Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

  
Kat waved him off. "You don't have to do anything like that."

  
"I owe you, for everything you've done for me." Jihyun's gaze softened.

  
"No, you don't," Kat responded firmly.

  
"Maybe, but...I want to do it, as your friend."

  
She sighed. "Fine, but don't go out of your way, okay?"

  
\---

  
Beauregard lounged lazily on Kat's bed, droopy eyes watching as she got ready to go out to dinner. He gazed at her as she applied her makeup, agonizing over whether she should go for a dramatic eyeshadow look tonight. It wasn't like she _needed_ to wear makeup, but apparently, Jihyun had gone all out, exactly like Kat had told him not to, and now, she felt as though she should at least make an attempt to look "presentable."

  
On the other hand, she did want to look nice. If Jihyun was going to spend the money to spoil her for her birthday, the least she could do was gussy up a little bit. _Should I really but that much effort into it though? It's not like this is a..._ date _...or anything, right?_ She caught herself blushing at the thought.

  
As Kat slid her feet into her tan suede platforms, the doorbell finally rang, and Beauregard launched off the bed, ears and jowls flapping as his short basset legs carried him as quickly as they could go. _Boof! Boowoowoowoowoo!_ Kat followed him to the front door, sticking her leg out to the side to corral him as she opened the door to leave. "Hey."

  
Jihyun bent down to greet the dog, messing with his ears. "You remember me, don't you, buddy?" he laughed, earning a tail wag in response. He straightened back up, finally getting a good look at Kat. His lips parted slightly as he tried not to gasp. She looked...radiant, as if moonlight shone from her face. Kat's makeup choices emphasized her high cheekbones, her deep-set blue eyes, her full lips. Jihyun tried not to stare. "So...shall we?"

  
Kat's mouth curled into her usual crooked grin. "Let's go."

  
In alignment with Kat's preferences, Jihyun had chosen a small, farm-to-table establishment, serving plant-based fare in addition to pastured steaks and poultry. They were seated at an intimate two-person table next to the fireplace, which Kat welcomed on this chilly night. She glanced over the drink menu, though she'd already decided what she wanted. "I told you not to go out of your way," she scolded gently.

  
"I didn't. I've been wanting to try this place for a while," Jihyun retorted. He stuck out his tongue playfully.

  
After they'd gotten their drinks and placed their orders, Kat pulled her phone from her bag. "Let me show you some pictures I took while I was home." She opened the folder that she'd loaded earlier that day, showing him the images of a lush wooden area, supposedly located just behind her family's house. In one photo, the sun had begun to set behind the trees, the light diffused by the leaves and branches, casting a thousand speckles of light and shadow across the path.

  
"Beautiful," Jihyun breathed. "Is all of Texas like this? On TV it's always depicted as like, a desert landscape with cactus and cow skulls."

  
Kat laughed. "In all honesty, parts of it are like that, but really, there's a wide variety. I don't think I can fully communicate just how _big_ the state is. It would take twelve hours or more to drive from one side to the other."

  
"R-Really?"

  
"Yeah, Texas is just kind of a bat-shit place in general." She took another sip of her bourbon. "You should come with me next time. I'm going back in about a month, while the Daesun is on break."

  
"Are you going to be visiting family again?"

  
"Briefly, but mostly I'm going to take photographs. I'm going to the desert region this time, in the southwest part of the state. I'll be camping out, but you're welcome to join me."

  
Jihyun's eyes grew wide with interest. "Do you really mean it?"

  
"Yes, of course! It's always more fun to travel with a friend." Kat grinned, raising her eyebrows.

  
Of course, Jihyun was always interested in the opportunity to photograph a new location. He'd never gotten to capture a desert landscape before, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. Besides, spending a week and a half with Kat sounded delightful in its own right. It would be nice to see her in her own element, to watch her work again. This was an opportunity he couldn't afford to pass up.

  
"I'd love to go."


	56. Hold on Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There's a brief smut scene toward the beginning of this chapter, so heads-up.

\---

Elizabeth curled her way around Jumin's legs, purring and mashing her head against him as he perched stiffly on the couch, blowing gently on his tea. He didn't need to leave for the office for another half-hour, but he'd been ready for a good twenty minutes now, as he'd gotten up earlier than normal. Jumin's night had been restless, and by 4:30 he found himself wide-awake. He laid in bed until 5:00, when he decided to cut his losses and haul his still-tired body out of bed. Elizabeth leapt up onto the couch next to him, and he absent-mindedly scratched her behind the ears as he gazed off into space, thinking about nothing in particular.

  
Quietly, Sun-Mi padded into the room, almost making Jumin jump when he realized that she'd arrived. He hadn't expected her to be up this early. "English breakfast, right?" he asked her, standing and making a move toward the kitchen.

  
"I can get it."

  
"Nonsense," he waved her off, shaking a bit of loose tea into a stainless steel diffuser and dunking it into a cup of boiling water. "Would you like something to eat?"

  
She shook her head. "Not yet. I'll have something in a little while." Sun-Mi held out the striped shirt in her arms, cheeks turning slightly pink. "Driver Kim is taking me to pick up a few things today, so this can be laundered now." Jumin took the shirt from her, walking back toward his room to place the shirt in the laundry chute.

  
"Jumin?"

 

  
"Yes, what is it?"

  
"I'd like to go back to work tomorrow."

  
He turned back to face her, face darkening in concern. "I don't think that's a good idea. It's not safe yet. Those women attacked you in your own home! What's to say something can't happen out in public?" Jumin turned away, trying to ignore the disappointment apparent on Sun-Mi's face.

  
He carried the worn shirt into his bedroom, closing the door behind him so that she wouldn't follow. He planned to toss the garment into the laundry, and then leave for the office just a little earlier than normal. Things didn't exactly go according to plan.

  
In a moment of curiosity, Jumin lifted the cloth to his face, inhaling deeply. His brain was flooded with the scent of rose, of Thomas Ward Tobacco-Vanilla fragrance, and with the unique perfume of Sun-Mi's flesh. Jumin found it simply intoxicating, involuntarily letting out a low, pleased sound. He stood there for a few minutes, still holding the fabric to his nose, breathing in her scent over and over, eyes closed in contentment.

  
That low sound soon turned to a low groan. The front of his pants grew tighter in arousal. While he'd found Sun-Mi quite pretty and desirable before, Jumin had generally tried to avoid thinking of her in an erotic sense. Now, it couldn't be helped. He longed to breath in the scent of her skin straight from the source, rather than from the garment she wore. He wanted to taste her flesh, nipping and sucking lightly down her neck, littering her collarbone with tiny, pink bite marks, to feel her trembling under his ministrations, whimpering softly with each touch.

  
Jumin couldn't very well leave for the office in this state. He was hard enough now that simply changing the pattern of his thoughts wouldn't resolve the... _issue_. He didn't particularly _like_ doing this, but with Sun-Mi on his mind, it didn't repulse him quite as much as it normally did. Locking the bedroom door, Jumin unfastened his belt buckle and the clasp of his pants, lowering the zipper to slide them down just enough to clear a space. His shorts came down too, freeing his arousal.

  
He grasped it unceremoniously, stroking quickly and roughly as he lifted the shirt to his nose once more, flooding his senses again with Sun-Mi's essence. Jumin allowed his mind to wander, asking all manner of questions about a hypothetical erotic scenario with her. _What do you taste like, darling? Do you like the way my tongue feels on you? How wet will you get for me? How do you want me to fuck you?_

  
His pacing increased, and he pictured himself plunging his cock deep into Sun-Mi as she gasped and cried out in ecstasy. _Do you like it when I touch you like this? Like this? What's that? You want me to fuck you harder? Anything for my princess..._ Jumin's breathing started to become ragged; he knew he wouldn't last much longer. _What do you look like when you come? What do you sound like? Show me, princess. I want to hear you scream for me..._

  
In a moment of clarity, Jumin took the shirt from his face, using it to wrap around himself as he came, groaning deeply. He sincerely hoped that Sun-Mi couldn't hear his sounds from the other room. He used the garment to finish cleaning himself, wincing slightly at the sensitivity of his flesh in the aftermath. He balled up the fabric and dumped it down the chute, praying that the launderer wouldn't discover his mess.

  
After re-dressing himself, Jumin sat on the edge of his bed, face in his hands. He groaned for a very different reason now. Feelings of guilt swarmed his mind. He'd brought Sun-Mi into his home, and she'd trusted him as a friend. In some way, he felt as though he'd betrayed that trust by sexualizing her. However, he'd done it, _enjoyed_ it. He couldn't take it back now. All Jumin could do was do right by Sun-Mi from now on, treat her like the queen that she was. Maybe in time, he could make it up to her in his own mind.

  
His good-bye to Sun-Mi was brief; he couldn't quite meet her gaze for now. She sat perched on the couch, a cat on either side of her, dressed in a thick, camel-colored sweater, nibbling on a lemon scone as she buried her nose in another book, her third since she'd been here. Sun-Mi read voraciously, and Jumin found it rather endearing, how absorbed she'd get, how he could discern the nature of the story's events just by watching her face. _How could I have betrayed you the way I did?_ He left quickly, before her sweet face could inspire any more shame within him.

  
Jaehee could immediately tell that something wasn't quite right with Jumin. He seemed flustered from the moment he entered the office. He'd finally spilled his guts to the RFA chat regarding the situation with Glam and Sarah; Seven had already known apparently. He kept sending that stupid ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) face over and over, until he managed to pressure Jumin into sharing the juicy detail about Sun-Mi being in his home. Of course Zen had immediately dismissed it as a _really bad idea_ , but somehow Yuki had managed to talk him down, convinced that Jumin wouldn't be the kind of person to do anything _improper_.

  
Something had happened, Jaehee could tell. Of course she wouldn't go asking, but she could speculate all she wanted. Of course it _had_ to do with Sun-Mi. The question remained: What?

  
No matter what appeared in front of him, Jumin couldn't seem to focus. His mind kept drifting back to what he'd done earlier that morning, and a fresh wave of guilt would wash over him all over again. He felt as though he didn't deserve to have Sun-Mi in his home. She deserved to be cared for by someone who didn't look at her in such a vulgar manner. Jumin wished there was someone he could talk to about this. By account of a quick internet search, these sorts of feelings were perfectly normal. So, why did he feel so much shame?

  
He was afraid. Jumin was afraid that he'd lose her. It had taken him so long to find someone he could tolerate, let alone someone he actively wanted to be with, that now he clung to her desperately. If she were to find out what he had done, if he did one thing wrong by her, he risked losing her forever. With the remaining threads tangled so tightly, Jumin wasn't certain he could endure such a thing. He'd have to hold on as tightly as he could.

  
\---

  
Tossing her completed novel onto the coffee table, Sun-Mi flopped back on the couch, groaning. She hadn't moved from this spot since before Jumin left for work, and while she felt like a lazy lump for still being here, she had no real reason to move. Several days had passed since her arrival, time beginning to fade her bruises, and the silence of the penthouse during the day made her restless. There were only so many things to do on her own, and all of them seemed dull already. A couple of days off work had been nice at first, but now all Sun-Mi wanted was to return to her normal routine.

  
She did enjoy the evenings here. While she felt as though Jumin might be going overboard with his concern for her safety, she did enjoy the feelings of security he provided her. After such an awful experience being attacked in her own home, Sun-Mi appreciated his protectiveness. In addition, she enjoyed his company. Being with Jumin was comfortable. Something about it felt so... _right_. She hugged one of the couch cushions close, eyes fluttering shut.

  
Being with Jumin made her feel a sort of happiness she'd never experienced before. He felt more like home than any place she'd ever lived. At moments, she was tempted to crawl into his lap and nestle against his broad chest. She could fall asleep and stay there forever. Maybe...she did have feelings for him after all. Sun-Mi was still unsure exactly how to understand those feelings, but she couldn't deny any longer that they existed.

  
Jumin really had gone out of his way to have her here, feeding her haute cuisine, spoiling her with fancy bath products and silk pajamas. She had to wonder if he was doing too much. Scratch that, she _knew_ he was doing too much. Sun-Mi wanted to ask him to stop, but of course, she knew that wouldn't work. Maybe, she could at least do something for him in return. Maybe...cook dinner tonight? Chicken Parmigiana? Sun-Mi felt especially proud of her recipe. Maybe Jumin would like that.

  
Sun-Mi hopped off the couch, padding into the kitchen to make sure she had the correct ingredients. If not, she'd need to ask Madame Masson to run an errand. Luckily, Jumin's kitchen was well-stocked with high-grade items. This would easily be the best Chicken Parmigiana she'd ever made. Sun-Mi grinned, excited to get to work. Hopefully, Jumin would be pleased with her surprise. Color bloomed in her cheeks as she realized how excited she felt for him to return home.

  
\---

  
Jumin's work day ended a little bit earlier than normal. Staying at the office when he couldn't focus on his work would merely waste everyone's time. Besides, he wanted to get home to Sun-Mi. He didn't like leaving her alone all day, but he couldn't work from home, and he couldn't let her out from the safety of the penthouse. He sent her a quick text. "I'll be home soon."  
"See you soon. We'll have dinner when you get here."

  
He smiled gently. After such a crappy day, he couldn't wait to get back and see Sun-Mi's lovely face, her cute freckles, to hear her sweet voice, to see her smile. Everything seemed brighter now that she'd come into his life, brighter than even Rika had ever made it. _Is...this what love feels like?_ Jumin knew he still had some things to work through, but in this moment, he felt closer than ever to understanding.

  
Sighing deeply, Jumin walked through the front door, immediately greeted by the warm aroma of fresh, homemade tomato sauce. What sort of tasty meal had his personal chef prepared for them tonight? He removed his jacket, already starting to feel better about his day. He smiled, loosening his tie and entering the dining room. Sun-Mi smiled widely when he entered view, standing in front of the dining table in anticipation.

  
"Chicken Parmigiana? Did you make a special request?" Jumin asked her, a twinkle in his eye.

  
Sun-Mi shyly cast her gaze downward, cheeks turning a bit pink. "Actually...I cooked tonight. I-I'm not a very good cook, so I'm sorry if it didn't turn out right, but I feel pretty confident in this dish!" She paused, face flushing further. "I wanted to do something for you in return for everything you've done for me."

  
A moment passed with Jumin lingering in stunned silence. He couldn't quite believe that Sun-Mi had done all of this. _All of this...for me?_ His heart swelled. She really was too cute. _Yes...I think this might be love._

  
So badly part of him wanted to skip dinner and have dessert instead. He wanted to scoop Sun-Mi up in his arms and carry her off to bed. He wanted to be with her completely: mind, soul, and body. She'd captivated his heart irreversibly.

  
And yet, he couldn't let all of her hard work be wasted. Besides, he had no reason to believe that she'd return his feelings to the same extent. She liked being with him, he could discern that much, but did he make her heart race? Did she long for him in his absence? Was she keen to join him in his bed? To make love to him? Perhaps for now those questions were best left unanswered. For now, Jumin was content to enjoy his own feelings, and the pleasure of Sun-Mi's company.

  
\---

  
After a very successful dinner, Jumin carried the remaining wine into the living room, where they continued their conversation.

  
"Well, I've told you about my day. Tell me how things went for you at the office." Sun-Mi rested her head on one hand, gazing at him with interest.

  
"I...had a bit of a rough day."

  
"I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

  
Jumin waved her off. "I just had a lot on my mind."

  
"You know...you can talk to me about anything. You understand, right?" Sun-Mi tilted her head in concern.

  
Jumin balked. No way could he tell her about what he'd done that morning, about the immense guilt he'd felt in the aftermath, about all of the emotions that had been brewing inside him all day. "It's just...everything with my father, you know?"

  
She nodded. "I understand. Have you talked to him again?"

  
"No, I don't think it would do any good, anyway." Jumin shook his head, swallowing the last of his wine and reaching for the bottle to pour another glass.

  
"Jumin, he can't know how you feel unless you tell him."

  
Jumin sighed, exasperated. "He does know how I feel. I've made it clear to him. He just...gets so stupid when it comes to women. I never understood..." He trailed off.

  
"Understood what?"

  
"I never understood how men could feel less lonely by being with women. To me, women were always unnecessary." He cast his eyes aside, not quite up to meeting Sun-Mi's azure gaze. "If you know anything about what men and women feel towards each other, please explain it to me so that I can understand my father."

  
Sun-Mi took another sip of wine, thinking. "I don't think you can understand it just because I explain it to you, and I don't think there's really one set answer." Her voice softened. "I think you have to learn it...through your heart."

  
Jumin looked up at her again as she stared into her wine glass, his lips parting slightly. _Can you see it? The love inside my heart?_

\-----

A/N: "Tender is the Night" will be taking a brief hiatus while I do a little bit of traveling for a couple of friends' graduations. The next chapter is slated to drop Wednesday, May 17.

Until then!

 


	57. Lovesick

\---

"Going to work" was definitely not on the list of things that Jumin actively wanted to do on this particular morning. Staying home and keeping Sun-Mi company seemed like a much, much more appealing option. She'd already joined him in the living room, though it was still early, blowing gently on her cup of English breakfast. Out of modesty, she'd already gotten dressed, wearing a black and white striped top and a flouncy skirt made from black cotton, legs crossed daintily at the ankle. Apparently, she'd taken to watching the same morning news program as Jumin; she continued to wake up early even though she wasn't currently working, and now filled the extra time with this show. While Sun-Mi did have a television in her guest room, she claimed to prefer spending the time with Jumin, much to his concealed delight.

  
Gradually, Jumin was beginning to feel less stressed. Of course, he still had a little ways to go sorting out his feelings, but he didn't feel as high-strung and anxious as before. He found Sun-Mi's presence soothing. While he did want to sort out the business with Glam and Sarah as quickly as possible, for the sake of Sun-Mi's safety, he enjoyed having her here in the meantime. The idea of her leaving his home, and going back into the big, scary world made Jumin just the slightest bit queasy.

  
The pleasant moment was abruptly interrupted with Jumin's chief of security. "Mr. Han, you have a guest. Your fiancee?"

  
Jumin could see Sun-Mi tense, grip tightening on her teacup. Her bruises had faded away, but the memory clearly lingered in her mind. "That woman is not my fiancee. Please ask her to leave."

  
"She said that you would say that. She also said that this is an urgent matter."

  
"Perhaps she should re-evaluate her definition of 'urgent.'"

  
Before Jumin could speak further, Sarah burst into the room without warning. The security guard moved to apprehend her, but Jumin motioned for him to wait.

  
"Jumin!"

  
"Not another word. You should-"

  
Sarah's eyes widened and her face creased in irritation as she spotted Sun-Mi perched on the couch, not daring to make eye contact. "W-what is _she_ doing here?!"

  
"That...is none of your concern."

  
Sarah caught herself getting worked-up and froze, taking a couple of deep breaths and re-composing herself. The serene expression returned to her face, and she waved her hand in nonchalance. "It's no matter. I'm not the sort of woman to get worked up over a simple _fling_. At the end of the day..." She adjusted her gaze to address Sun-Mi. "... _I'll_ be the one you come home to."

  
Jumin's anger boiled over. Sarah didn't know how wrong she was. Sun-Mi wasn't a simple _fling_. She was... _everything_ to him now. He gritted his teeth, words slipping out in a low hiss. "You need to leave. _Now_."

  
Sarah sniffed, crossing her arms as she turned her head to the side with a _hmmph!_ "I have a _right_ to be with my fiance!"

  
"Then, you leave me no choice."

  
Her snide smile was visible as Jumin silently crossed over to Sun-Mi; clearly, she expected him to ask Sun-Mi to leave. He took her cup and placed it on the coffee table before taking one of Sun-Mi's tiny hands in his own, lifting her to her feet. Ever so gently, he reached forward to brush a lock of hair behind her ear, her big, blue eyes gazing at him questioningly. Jumin placed a hand underneath her chin, thumb barely brushing against her bottom lip. The space between them had grown so small, but it almost crackled with electricity.

  
Slowly, Jumin leaned forward, eyes fluttering shut. His heart leapt into his throat as he made contact after what seemed an eternity, pressing a soft, chaste kiss against Sun-Mi's full, pink lips. He lingered there for a brief moment as time seemed to stop.

  
Sun-Mi's eyes widened as he kissed her, a hot burst of color rushing to her face. To say she felt "shocked" would be a gross understatement. Her first instinct was to stiffen, but as Jumin's mouth brushed softly against her own, she melted under his touch. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she wasn't quite sure what to do with her hands. Finally, they found a resting place, on Jumin's broad chest. Sun-Mi closed her eyes, leaning into him.

  
Finally, her mouth began to move against his, indulging him. Jumin's hand moved from Sun-Mi's face, resting on the back of her neck, fingers tangling in her hair. His eyes flicked open briefly to gauge her reaction. Her eyes had closed, her cheeks a deep pink. "You're blushing," Jumin whispered against her, his voice coming out husky. A shiver ran down Sun-Mi's spine at the sound.

  
The sound of a shrieking growl could be heard, followed by the slam of the front door. Yet, neither Jumin nor Sun-Mi really paid any mind, too wrapped up in their own moment to care about anything else besides one another. Without thinking too much about it, Jumin nipped lightly at Sun-Mi's lower lip, earning a soft whimper in return. This was better than he could ever imagine; the feeling of her lips, the sound of her voice much sweeter and more potent than any fantasy.

  
It was perhaps a bit _too_ potent. An erection threatened to bloom, and Jumin was forced to finally break away, clearing his throat. Sun-Mi glanced away briefly, feeling a bit bashful after snapping back to reality. She bit her lip as she looked up to meet his steely gaze once again. He laughed softly, a light blush still dusting his own face. "To be honest...I've...wanted to do that since I first brought you here."

  
"R-really?!" Sun-Mi seemed dumbfounded. "Forgive me if this is blunt...but, do you... hmm... ah... have... _feelings_... for me?"

  
"I do."

  
Sun-Mi's mouth fell open, and the corners of her mouth curled upward. "I...feel the same way."

  
"Sun-Mi..."

  
"But...I-I need time. I'm still figuring this out, you know?" She laughed nervously.

  
Jumin took a seat on the couch, motioning for her to sit next to him. She did, and he took her hands in his own. "I understand. I've still got some things to work through myself, but maybe in the future..." He reached out to cup her face in one hand, delicately caressing her cheek. "I do care for you...more deeply than you know. It it _heavenly_ to be with you. I promise you, I will make things right. I will be the kind of man that deserves to have you in his life."

  
The clock on the wall chimed suddenly, piercing the loving moment. Sun-Mi whined, realizing that the dreaded moment had come for Jumin to leave for work. He leaned forward once more to press another kiss to her forehead before standing. "I have to go now, but I'll be back soon, my princess."

  
\---

  
The atmosphere of the Executive Floor at C&R had lightened considerably. Jumin no longer seemed to be walking around in a depressed fog, and Jaehee had finally gotten (somewhat) out from under her massive pile of work. Jumin smiled lightly to himself as he worked, the stress on his mind eased considerably after that loving moment earlier in the day. Several burdens still weighed on him heavily, but the load was lighter now. He didn't even really care about his father and Glam and Sarah anymore. He didn't need their approval to make his own decisions, to be with Sun-Mi. They could live a happy life together in the penthouse. Everything would be fine. _But what about her safety?_ She could move in with him permanently, of course. Jumin's home was perfectly secure. With all of the downstairs shops and restaurants, Sun-Mi could do anything she liked without ever leaving the safety of the building!

  
Jumin's relief was short-lived, of course. Jaehee tapped lightly on his door. "Mr. Han? The Chairman has requested a meeting with you immediately. He's in the second meeting room now." Jumin's first instinct was for his heart to sink. He _really_ did not want to deal with his father right now. What would it be this time? He stood, buttoning his jacket, and headed for the meeting room, fidgeting with his shirt sleeve as he went.

  
Chairman Han scarcely waited for the door to be closed before starting in on his son. "What on earth have you done?!"

  
"I'm not certain I understand what you're talking about."

  
"Forcing your fiancee out of your home? Kissing another woman in front of her? Is any of this ringing a bell?"

  
"Sarah is _not_ my fiancee-"

  
"Who is this other woman anyway? You were supposed to marry Sarah!" Chairman Han yelled so loudly and intensely that his face began to turn red.

  
"That isn't going to happen," Jumin retorted. "I already have someone else who is special to me."

  
"Who?!" his father demanded. "Who could be good enough?!"

  
"Miss Dang, the woman you recommended for me before. You were right about her. We're a good match."

  
" _HER_?! I thought I made it clear that I was wrong to think that she'd be a fitting wife for you!"

  
"It doesn't matter to me now what you think. I'm falling in love with her."

  
"But-but-but...Sugar Round!" Chairman Han sputtered.

  
"What?"

  
"Sarah's company!" the Chairman clarified, waving his hands wildly. "Sarah is willing to sell Sugar Round to us at a discounted rate on the condition that you marry her!"

  
Jumin scowled. "So, this was really about business the entire time! I've never even _heard_ of a company by that name!"

  
"Glam assures me that it's growing fast! It's a safe investment!"

  
Jumin started toward the door. "It doesn't matter anyway. I'm not going to marry Sarah, so I guess you won't be getting that discount."

  
"Jumin-" Chairman Han started to speak, but it was too late. The door had already slammed shut.

  
In a flustered panic, Jumin gathered his things from his office and headed for the elevator. "Assistant Kang, I'll be working from home for the rest of the day."

  
"Mr. Han?"

  
"Please let me know if anything major comes up." He left before Jaehee could get in another word. Inside the elevator, Jumin buried his face in his hands, sighing deeply. It seemed as though nothing ever got any easier. Maybe getting home to his princess would cheer him up, make him remember how happy he'd been earlier in the day. _I should have some flowers sent to her._

  
Finally in the privacy of his town car, he placed a call to Miss Park. "Sarah owns a company named 'Sugar Round,' and is interested in selling it. Please look into this."

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi looked up from her book occasionally, glancing over at Jumin. He sat silently by the large, panel windows, gazing outside despondently. He'd unexpectedly arrived home early, seemingly in a frantic state. He'd wrapped her in such a warm embrace upon his arrival, but hadn't said a single word, even through dinner. Night had fallen now, a few pricks of starlight peeking through the city's constant electric glow. _He...doesn't regret this morning, right?_

  
Her worry boiling over, Sun-Mi closed her book, and padded over to where Jumin sat limply. She took the chair next to him, and he took her hand, squeezing it gently. Finally he spoke. "I never thought I'd find someone that I care for as much as I care for you."

  
Sun-Mi's face grew hot once again. "H-How do you mean?"

  
"Growing up, my only knowledge of women was of gold-diggers. The only women who ever flocked to me or my father did so because they wanted something from us." Jumin sighed. "I think...I developed a very jaded view of women as a result. That is, until I met someone very special."

  
Sun-Mi drew in a sharp breath.

  
"Her name was Rika. She'd started dating my best friend since childhood, so naturally, she became my friend too. I could always tell that she was different from all of the women I'd encountered before. She actually seemed to care about me as a person."

  
"I...I feel a little bit jealous," Sun-Mi blushed.

  
Jumin chuckled softly. "Don't. I always knew Rika wasn't supposed to be mine. In the end, she was just like all of the others. She emotionally and physically abused my friend for years, all the while getting close to me, so that she could try and get at my money. I only grew more cynical after that." He smiled gently. "It was you that showed me that things could be different."

  
"M-Me?"

  
"Mmm. Just when I'd given up hope, you appeared before me. I have to admit...I didn't expect to ever feel this way about you!" Jumin laughed. "Then again, you probably never expected to feel this way about me."

  
"I thought you were the biggest ass when I first met you."

  
"That wasn't the first time we'd met, remember? There was the time when we were young. You taught me how to climb a tree."

  
Sun-Mi's eyes widened. "That _was_ you! I'd forgotten..."

  
"I fell so hard for you that day, but we're not kids anymore. My feelings are stronger now, deeper. I can be a man for you now. I can take care of you."

  
_Please take good care of me..._

  
"That's why I can't let you go back to work yet. I have to protect you." Jumin reached out to cradle her face in his hands. "I can't risk losing you. Not when I've finally found you."

  
Sun-Mi's eyes glittered as she gazed at him, lips parting slightly in question and in want.

  
"I think I'm falling in love with you." He leaned forward, their foreheads touching.

  
"I think I'm falling in love too," Sun-Mi whispered in return.

  
They lingered there with bated breath, the tension between them palpable. Desire hung there, hot and thick like honey. Both wanted to make their love physical, but it was not yet time for that, they knew. As much as Jumin wanted to lay her down and own her completely, and as much as Sun-Mi wanted to be owned by him, the timing wasn't quite right for now.

  
"You should go to bed," Jumin suggested finally. "I don't know how much longer I can control myself with you looking at me like that."

  
Sun-Mi turned a shade of red neither of them knew existed, and stood, planting a kiss on the crown of Jumin's head before padding off to her own bedroom. Sleep didn't come for a long time, her mind buzzing with thoughts of Jumin, heart aching for him. She felt hot all over, feverish even. _Is this what it is to be "lovesick?" Please love me, Jumin. Soon, you'll have all of me, and all of my love._

_\-----_

A/N: I'm back!

 

 


	58. Just Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter does contain a description of a violent movie plot. I don't go into too much graphic detail, but it could potentially be somewhat upsetting.

"I...didn't expect you to get through that dungeon and beat the boss so quickly," Won-Jae laughed nervously. "Unfortunately, that's all I've got planned for this week. I mean, you guys are welcome to stay and hang out for a while. We could play a board game or look up some dumb MeTube videos."

  
Chae-Young leaned back in her chair. "Sounds good." She turned her head to look at Yoosung. "You're good with staying a while longer, right?"

  
"Yeah, that's fine. I don't have anything planned for tomorrow." He grinned. Yoosung wasn't about to turn the opportunity to spend more time with her.

 

" _Oppa_ , weren't you saying that there was a movie on Webflix that you wanted to watch?" Momoka asked suddenly.

  
"Oh! That's right!" Won-Jae remembered, hitting his fist against his open palm. "Everyone, come sit by the TV. I'll pull up the movie and we can decide." Chae-Young flopped onto the couch next to Yoosung, pulling her legs up onto the cushion. She never did sit like a normal person, but it was endearing in a way.

  
Won-Jae opened the Webflix application and searched for the film. "It's called 'The Devil Appeared Before Me.' I don't know very much about it, but it's supposed to be terrifying!"

  
"Sounds like supernatural horror to me," Momo commented, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.

  
Chae-Young pointed to the fresh tattoo on the back of Momoka's neck, her flesh pink and puffy around the bits that had been inked. "You finally got your all-seeing eye!"

  
"Hmm? Oh yeah! I finally saved up enough to get it!"

  
Won-Jae cleared his throat. "Anyway, what do you think?"

  
"About the movie? Fine with me. I love horror movies," Chae-Young grinned.

  
Yoosung, on the other hand, wasn't totally fine with it. He didn't much like horror movies; even though he knew it was all fiction, they still gave him the willies, creeping back into his mind as he tried desperately to sleep at night. Every sound, every creak of the settling building, every whisper of wind held him captive. At the same time, he didn't want Chae-Young to think that he was a big baby who couldn't handle a simple _movie_. "I'm good with that."

  
"It's settled then." Won-Jae flicked off the lights and pressed "play." The movie began, much as any other movie would, with a young woman driving home alone on a frigid winter night. Her car suddenly broke down, and she sat in her front seat, waiting for the tow truck that she'd called. Yoosung dug his fingers into the arm of the sofa, knowing that it was only a matter of time before the antagonist appeared to terrorize the young woman. He was right, of course; the villain came in the form of a middle-aged man, claiming to want to help her. As she explained that help was already on the way, that she was fine, really, the man attacked her with a hammer. Her blood spattered against the snow, painting it a deep red.

  
_Seems to be your typical horror flick._ Would the man turn out to be a psycho axe murderer? A vengeful spirit from beyond the grave? Only time would tell.

  
The next scene found the same man and woman in a secret location as she begged him for her life. He almost seemed to pity the poor girl before decapitating and dismembering her. As the film progressed, the woman's husband, a government agent, pursued the villain as he ran from town to town, assaulting and disfiguring women along the way. As it turned out, the killer wasn't an angry spirit, or your run-of the-mill slasher, but a man who simply hated women so very much that he'd fallen over the edge into violence.

  
Chae-Young watched in petrified horror, breath catching in her throat as the killer locked himself inside a hospital supply closet, brutally attacking an unsuspecting nurse. As he forced himself on her, Chae-Young squeezed her eyes shut, finding it unbearable to watch. Her stomach turned and her hands felt clammy. That wasn't at all the kind of movie she'd expected to watch. This sort of thing wasn't entertainment to her; it was all too real. Maybe, if she was lucky, this would be the last rape scene she'd have to endure before the antagonist got his just-desserts.

  
In the hour that the movie had been playing, Yoosung had calmed down considerably. He'd been entirely on-edge at the beginning, and this movie was a little _intense_ , but it was more of a thriller than anything. All of the tension came from suspense, rather than jump-scares and creepy monsters. While the villain was despicable, Yoosung didn't find him particularly _scary_. Once he was caught and brought to justice, the terror would end. Yoosung would be sleeping just fine tonight.

  
He could hear Chae-Young gasp next to him as the antagonist stalked another victim. Yoosung looked over, immediately noticing that she wasn't quite alright. Her eyes had grown wide in horror, and even in the darkness, he could tell that the color had drained from her face. Her expression was tense, hands balled up tightly. _Chae...are you okay?_

  
As the villain grabbed the next woman, Chae-Young stood abruptly. "I'm gonna go smoke," she murmured stiffly, grabbing her bag from against the wall.

  
"You want us to pause the movie until you get back?"

  
"No...it's fine...keep watching without me." Her hands shook as she walked. Was she jones-ing, or did they tremble from something else entirely? _Are...you afraid?_

  
The film continued without Chae-Young, but Yoosung didn't pay too much attention now. He kept expecting her to come back, but she didn't. Twenty minutes passed. Normally she didn't take more than ten to get her nicotine fix. Something was definitely off with her. Chae acted like she'd seen a ghost...a devil. Something about this film really did bother her. _I should go check on her._

  
"Be right back," he whispered, grabbing his jacket and stepping out. Closing the front door behind him, Yoosung turned to find Chae-Young crouching down, lighting a new cigarette off of the smoldering butt she held between her lips. Pallor still painted her face, and her hands still trembled. She looked up at him with terror in her eyes. "You didn't bring your coat out with you?"

  
She laughed nervously. "Oh...I guess I was in such a hurry that I..." she trailed off, taking another drag from her smoke.

  
"How many of those have you had just now?"

  
"I-I don't know...I wasn't really keeping count..."

  
"I'll get your coat for you." Yoosung ducked back inside briefly to grab the anorak, then wrapped it around Chae's shoulders.

  
"Thank you," she whispered, her knees pulled up against her chest, chin resting on them.

  
"Chae? Are...you alright?" Yoosung cocked his head to the side in concern.

  
"Y-Yeah, I-I'm fine." Chae-Young forced a smile.

  
"I don't think you're being honest. If something's bothering you, you can tell me."

  
She sighed. "I really don't like that movie."

  
Yoosung crouched down next to her. "I thought you liked scary movies."

  
"Not like that!" Chae-Young whined, shaking her head. "I like the kind of horror movies with ghosts and vampires and demons and that kind of shit because in the end, it's not really real. You can enjoy getting spooked by it because it will never actually happen to you."

  
"I think I understand what you mean."

  
"I just can't see stuff like that as exciting and entertaining, not when I and every other woman on this planet lives with that threat every day. All that film is to me is a reminder of what could happen to me at any moment. It just...hits a little too close to home." She ground out her cigarette on the pavement and plopped her face between her knees.

  
"S-Shit, Chae...I didn't think about it like that."

  
"Sorry...I-I didn't mean to ruin the fun for everyone else." Her voice still shook, but Chae-Young gave a weak smile anyway, trying to put on a brave face.

  
"No, no, not at all. You're so much more important to me than some dumb movie." Yoosung scooted around behind her, sticking his legs out so that they rested on either side of her, not noticing the hot flood of color that rushed into Chae-Young's face. He rested his hands on her shoulders, voice barely above a whisper. "You can lean back if you want. I've got you." To his surprise, she did lean back, nestling against his chest, a faint little sigh of contentment escaping her. Yoosung wrapped his arms around Chae-Young, holding her tight.

  
Chae-Young closed her eyes, mouth curling up into a slight smile. These rare moments of closeness between them were few and far between, but it was at these times that she felt most at peace, most safe. With Yoosung, time seemed to stop, and all the ugliness of the world faded away, just for a little while. She could almost sleep like this, but she didn't dare, lest she miss a single second of this perfect little paradise that Yoosung had made for her in his arms. _How did I get so lucky to have you be part of my world?_

  
The night surrounded them with its inky chill, but here, wrapped up completely in a world all their own, they were quite warm.

  
\---

  
Chae-Young's little hybrid pulled to a stop outside Yoosung's apartment building. "Ah...I'll let you know when I get home. If you don't hear from me within the hour, call me. If I don't pick up, call the police."

  
"Chae..." Yoosung whispered. "Are you alright?"

  
She sighed. "Not really, but it's fine..." She still seemed on edge, and the last thing Yoosung wanted to do was send her home to be alone and afraid all night. _Would it be too forward..._

  
"Do you want to stay here tonight?"

  
Chae-Young laughed nervously, putting her hands up. "You don't need to worry about me! I'll be fine! I wouldn't want to impose..."

  
"I don't mind, really! I don't want you to be alone tonight..." Yoosung laid a hand on the back of his neck, looking away nervously.

  
Sighing, Chae-Young thought it over. She did always keep a bag with extra toiletries in her car, just in case, and she did have some clean clothes in the back that she hadn't bothered to put away yet... If she did stay, maybe she'd be rewarded with another nice moment like earlier, or maybe even more... The mere possibility was too much to resist, and she turned off the engine without another thought.

  
Always a gentleman, Yoosung let Chae-Young take the bathroom first. As he listened to the spray of water in the shower, he tried not to think too much about Chae-Young! naked! in! his! home!, about the soapy water slowly trailing down her slight frame, about what her bare breasts looked like... _Slippery when wet..._ He shook his head wildly, smacking himself on the forehead to clear the salacious thought from his mind. Curiosity took its place. What would Chae-Young wear to bed? She'd slept in his bed once before, dressed only in her bra and panties, but that had been more out of necessity than anything. Surely she'd wear a little more this time...

  
As she massaged shampoo into her hair, Chae-Young tried not to get her hopes up too much about what would happen later. Of course Yoosung had only taken her in out of compassion; that was the kind of guy that he was! He wasn't the sort of person that did things with ulterior motives; he was a better person than she. Still, she did allow herself to consider how nice it would be if he joined her here in the shower, how _nice_ it would be for them to take turns on their knees, making the other tremble and cry out. _I'm an animal..._ Chae-Young had decided that it would be best for her to sleep in a pair of leggings and a loose sweatshirt, rather than her normal sleepwear, which consisted of just a big t-shirt and her underwear. Of course, she'd slept next to Yoosung half-naked before, but this time, she had a choice, and he wasn't distracted by illness. She thought it best to cover up a little more this time around.

  
In a cloud of steam, Chae-Young emerged from the bathroom. "All yours."

  
"You're finished?" Yoosung noted that she'd dressed a little more demurely this time. Yet, she still looked too damn cute, with her too-big sweatshirt's too-long sleeves covering her hands.

  
"Yep. Brushed my teeth and everything."

  
Yoosung scampered off to the bathroom, hurrying as he went, hoping that Chae-Young wouldn't go to bed without him. In the meantime, Chae-Young set about making a bed on the couch, fluffing up a couple of pillows and spreading out the fleece throw. She slipped on her glasses and snatched a book from her bag, determined to stay up at least long enough to tell Yoosung good night.

  
\---

  
Yoosung stared at his clothes as he dried himself, not quite sure what to do. Normally, he only wore a t-shirt and either his shorts or a pair of pajama pants to sleep, but with Chae-Young joining him, he didn't think that quite appropriate. Feeling a little weird about it, he pulled his drawstring pants on over the cotton shorts and kicked the bathroom door open to let the steam out while he brushed his teeth.

  
He walked into the living room, not expecting to find Chae-Young there. "You're sleeping on the couch?"

  
Her cheeks went pink. "I, uh...figured you'd want me to." Her heart fluttered in her chest. _Do you_ want _me to sleep with you?_

  
Yoosung let out a frustrated noise, now a little bit flustered. "I told you that I don't want you to be alone tonight."

  
Chae-Young's glasses slid down her nose, face growing even hotter. "O-Okay." She marked her stopping place in her book and followed him into the bedroom, heart racing. She watched as he made a spot for her, turning off the overhead light in favor of a small lamp on his nightstand. Its warm, yellow glow danced around the room, making it feel that much more intimate. Yoosung crawled under the covers, patting the space next to him. "Come here."

  
Chae-Young gulped, stepping forward and climbing into bed, leaving an appropriate amount of space between them. She'd spent so many nights in other men's beds...why was this so much different?! So much more nerve-wracking?! _Because you actually care for this boy?_ the little voice inside her mind posited. _Because you don't want to just fuck him and ruin everything?_ "Well...good night!" she exclaimed awkwardly, voice cracking a little. She flopped onto her side, facing away from Yoosung.

  
"You don't want to talk about it?"

  
"About what?"

  
He sighed. "About the movie, Chae. You were so freaked out before..."

  
"I mean...I feel like I've said all I can about it."

  
"Chae..." He knew that she still wasn't quite right. It was apparent in his voice, deeper and gentler than before. Chae-Young rolled over to face him. "It's okay to admit that you're afraid, or upset. You don't have to be so strong all the time. Sometimes you need to let other people be strong for you." Yoosung leaned over to brush away a strand of hair from her face. "You can be vulnerable with me. I'll keep you safe."

  
Chae-Young covered her face with her hands to hide her blush. "This is so embarrassing..."

  
He chuckled softly. "It's okay. Come here." He held out his arms.

  
"J-Just for tonight." She scooted over to nestle into his arms, face against his chest.

  
Yoosung put his arms around her again. "I've got you." He reached back to turn off the light, bathing them in darkness. Chae-Young wrapped her arms around him in return, inhaling deeply. Yoosung still smelled faintly of body wash: clean, a little bit pine-y...masculine. She hoped he couldn't hear her breath hitch in her throat.

  
She still felt somewhat sheepish. Chae-Young didn't like feeling needy, or vulnerable. She'd already spent too much of her life feeling that way. _I'm twenty-three! I shouldn't need this so badly..._ She did, though. She needed to be here, laying next to Yoosung in his bed, cradled in his arms, senses flooded with pieces of him. It was simply a perfect moment. In the darkness, he couldn't see the feverish glow painting her face. Chae-Young closed her eyes, allowing herself to melt into the embrace, sighing contentedly. _We really are too intimate for people who are "just friends."_

  
Yoosung didn't really know if he wanted to allow himself to sleep tonight. He'd much rather lay here, holding Chae-Young, gazing at her face bathed in moonlight, savoring each moment until the dawn took her away from him. He wanted to kiss her so badly. Then again, he always wanted to kiss her. Maybe...he couldn't quite be content with just being friends. At the very least, he should let her know how he felt. Yoosung's feelings grew stronger every time they were together, and he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to keep them hidden. "Chae?" he croaked.

  
Chae-Young didn't respond, as she'd already fallen asleep.


	59. On One Condition

\---

Sun-Mi grunted as she closed her finished book and tossed it aside, looking at the clock on her nightstand. It was barely 8:00, but she'd already been up for hours, her body still pulling her from her peaceful rest at the crack of dawn despite her strict orders to stay home from work. _Strict orders..._ that's what they felt like these days. Weeks had passed since she'd arrived at Jumin's home; Sun-Mi felt that she should at least be allowed to return to work. She wouldn't even care if he assigned her a security detail. She just wanted to return to some sort of normalcy.

  
She didn't even mind living here. Not being able to ever leave was the only unpleasant aspect. Sun-Mi had begun to feel as though Jumin controlled her every action, and she didn't much like it. All the same, she couldn't really be too angry with him. She knew that his intentions were pure, that every choice he made for her was out of care. Still, it didn't make this right. Of course the situation was complicated; Jumin's feelings were complicated. If Sun-Mi were to try and reason with him, she'd have to approach the topic very delicately.

  
After quietly retrieving a cup of tea from the kitchen, she set about getting ready as she would on a normal morning before work, smoothing her erratically curled hair into its typical sleek shape. It seemed glossier now, thanks to the expensive shampoo that Jumin had had delivered for her. Sun-Mi slipped a floaty, yellow dress over her head, a gentle reminder of what kind of woman she truly was. She was a grown woman fully capable of taking care of herself, not a pet to be coddled and fussed over.

  
Jumin sat outside on the patio with his Earl Grey, still impeccably dressed even though he had decided to spend the day at home. Jaehee had already called a couple of times, even leaving a frantic voicemail about urgent documents that needed to be signed, but Jumin had simply turned his phone off after that, preferring to enjoy his newspaper on this pleasant morning. The days started to grow warmer now. It had still been cold when Sun-Mi came to stay with him; Jumin wondered if perhaps he'd kept her for too long. No, because the Glam and Sarah issue still remained. _I put the best two hackers I know on this, and they've still given me nothing! Are they even working on this? Do they not realize how crucial this is?_ Jumin shook his head, trying to clear his mind and put on a pleasant expression as he head the glass door slide open behind him.

  
"Good morning, my-" Jumin's voice trailed off as he gazed at Sun-Mi. She presented herself quite differently than she had over the past few weeks. Her posture had taken on its professional, formal quality once more, and she dressed less casually now, as if she were going to work. She looked radiant; she really did, but this sudden change concerned Jumin deeply. "You look so formal, darling. Is something wrong?"

  
"I want us to go to work today." Her voice carried no pretense.

  
Jumin's eyes softened, but his voice remained firm. "No, Sun-Mi, not yet."

  
"Please."

  
"It's not safe yet."

  
"Jumin," she pleaded with him. "You haven't been to work in a week, not since..." _Since you kissed me and we confessed our feelings for one another._

  
He took her hand. "I don't want to be apart from you," he murmured, tracing his thumb along her knuckles.

  
"So let me come to the office with you."

  
Jumin looked upset. "It's too dangerous for you out there. I have to keep you where you'll be safe!"

  
"I know you're worried about me, but you can't protect me from everything in the world! Just being alive is dangerous! You have to let me live! Do you plan to keep me locked up here forever?!"

  
"I'd considered it..."

  
"That's not funny, Jumin."

  
"I wasn't trying to make a joke."

  
"You're starting to be really controlling, you know that?" Sun-Mi hadn't meant to say it. It just kind of slipped out.

  
Jumin looked taken-aback. "D-Do you really feel that way?" he whispered, a hurt expression on his face.

  
"A little," she answered meekly.

  
"Do you hate being here with me that much?" Jumin almost looked like he might cry.

  
Sun-Mi stiffened. "Of course not! I like being with you! I just...don't like feeling cooped-up. I don't like feeling like I'm not allowed to leave."

  
"Do you want to leave? Do you want to go home?"

  
"It's not that," Sun-Mi replied, shaking her head. "I just want things to feel normal again. I want to go to work. I want to go and do things. I want to be a person!"

  
Jumin chewed on his lip for a moment. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. It was not my intention to control you or lock you up." _Although in certain contexts, that doesn't sound so bad._

  
"I know."

  
He sighed. "If returning to work will make you happy, we'll go. On one condition."

  
Sun-Mi couldn't help blushing just a little. "W-What's that?"

  
"I want you to work from my office today. I'm sorry, I still feel a bit anxious."

  
"I can do that."

  
Jumin smiled softly. "Let me go and change into something a little more work-appropriate."

  
\---

  
Jaehee certainly hadn't expected to see Jumin in the office today, especially after he'd ignored her calls and turned off his phone. And she _really_ hadn't expected to see Sun-Mi finally return to the office, accompanying Jumin. Their interactions puzzled her as well. Jumin treated her so gently now, and he had the same kind of look in his eyes that Zen did when he looked at Yuki. He loved her, that much was obvious. _How on earth did this happen?!_ Jaehee blinked, shaking her head. What was more, Sun-Mi responded positively to his doting. Were they dating now? What?!

  
Sun-Mi sat quietly and comfortably in the upholstered chair in Jumin's office, working on the notebook computer on her lap. So much work had piled up in her absence, and it felt so good to finally start catching up. It finally seemed like things were falling into place. Jumin seemed happier too, like the last of his worries had started to fade away at last. Occasionally, he would look up at Sun-Mi and smile, affection so apparent in his eyes. He motioned to her. "Come here, please."

  
Sun-Mi did as he asked, carefully putting down her work and padding over to Jumin's desk. He stood to wrap his arms around her and cradle her against him. "What's this about?" she giggled.

  
He leaned down to steal a quick kiss from her unsuspecting lips, making her blush again. "Thank you. I was almost out."

  
"Out of what?" Sun-Mi asked, raising an eyebrow.

  
"Of Sun-Mi." He released her from his grasp.

  
She chuckled softly. "You're weird, Ju-Ju."

  
"Ju-Ju?" Jumin made a funny face.

  
"You're cute," Sun-Mi commented, laughing again.

  
"Am I? No one's ever said that of me before..."

  
"Yes. You're very cute."

  
Jumin sighed, shaking his head. "You have very strange tastes." He watched as Sun-Mi returned to her chair, smiling softly as she worked. She seemed so much happier now. Was it really that nice to be working? There were still some things that he failed to understand about her, but he would try. Maybe it was just her personality. Sun-Mi didn't like to be treated like a princess, though sometimes Jumin couldn't help it. She wanted to be independent, a quality that he still needed to get used to. Maybe she really was just that happy to be getting back to her normal routine. _I was wrong to keep her like that._

  
Her eyes flicked up. "Jumin?"

  
"Mmm?"

  
"I need to run down to the I.T. office to get a couple of reports from one of my techs. I'll be back in a minute." She headed for the door.

  
"Wait. I'll come with you."

  
"You don't need to do that. I'll be fine. Besides, what will people say if you follow me around like a puppy all day?"

  
"I wouldn't be a puppy. I much prefer cats."

  
Sun-Mi sucked in her cheeks. "Fine. Like a kitten then." She knew they were splitting hairs, but it was easier to play along than to waste time arguing the point. "Anyway, I'll only be gone for a few minutes."

  
"I apologize. I'm still just a little bit paranoid." Jumin looked away sheepishly. "Part of me worries that you're taking the opportunity to run away from me."

  
"I'm not going to run away, I promise." Sun-Mi's expression softened. "Part of having a healthy relationship with someone is letting them go, trusting that they'll come back to you."

  
"Do you promise that you'll come back?"

  
"I promise."

  
Sun-Mi hurried downstairs. From behind his desk, Jumin watched the elevator, counting the moments. Five minutes passed, and he swallowed hard. _Shouldn't she be getting back now?_ Six minutes. _Did something happen?_ Seven minutes. _What's going on?_ Eight minutes. _Sun-Mi, where are you?!_ Nine minutes. _Baby? Are you coming back?_ His hands started to shake. Ten minutes. _Ding!_ Sun-Mi returned, carrying a thick manilla folder.

  
"Sorry about that. I tried to be quick, but I couldn't really head back up without explaining where I've been!"

  
_Oh._ Jumin felt rather silly for worrying. Relief washed over him. Sun-Mi really did want to stay by his side after all. _I have to trust her the way she trusts me._ "Sun-Mi?"

  
"Yes?"

  
"I promise that I will send you home as soon as everything is resolved. I am sorry for how I've behaved toward you these past few weeks. I wasn't right to force you to stay in the penthouse all day every day."

  
"Thank you for saying that. I know you've been working through some things, so I can't be too upset with you. Thank you for always having my best interests in mind, though."

  
"I'd like you to start working normally tomorrow. I'll send you in at your usual time with one of my security guards, and you'll work from the I.T. office like you did before. I'd like you to join me for lunch, but other than that, I'll try not to interfere too much."

  
Sun-Mi smiled. "I'd like that. Thank you."

  
"There's just one thing I ask of you in return." He had a certain look in his eyes, a certain tone in his voice that made Sun-Mi blush.

  
"W-What's that?"

  
"I want you to go on a date with me. Not as a thank-you for taking care of Elizabeth, or because you're my guest, but a real date. I want to buy you a pretty dress to wear, and give you flowers, and hold your hand." _And...maybe a few other things too?_

  
Sun-Mi's blush deepened. "How about Saturday?"

  
"I'll send you shopping soon to get something to wear. I do have one request that you can indulge if you like." Jumin's voice deepened. "I think you'd look adorable in pink."

\-----

A/N: 

Jaehee: 


	60. Wild and Dark, Great and Terrible

\---

"Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts. We are about to begin our descent." Kat snapped out of her half-asleep daze long enough to elbow Jihyun awake. He snorted and fumbled about with his seatbelt before dozing off again, head flopping onto her shoulder this time. _Lucky bastard slept for almost the whole flight._ Kat on the other hand, hadn't even gotten a short power nap since takeoff. Of course, he was even more used to flying than she. The number of stamps in Jihyun's passport rivaled her own, and his destinations seemed far more interesting than Dallas, Texas, USA. Then again, he'd never been here before, so it probably _was_ an adventure to him.

  
As the plane's wheels hit the runway, he jerked awake again, much to Kat's amusement, yawning to unplug his popped ears. Jihyun shook his head, blinking. "Are we there already?"

  
_Already_? "Yeah, we're there," she answered gruffly, gazing out the window at the sun just beginning to peek over the horizon. They'd taken off at sunrise in Seoul, too. Somehow, by sitting in a screaming metal death-trap for half a day, they'd gained an hour. _I'm too tired to think about this fuckin' shit._

  
After the cabin had cleared a bit, Kat dragged her bag out from under her seat, poking Jihyun in the forehead before he could fall asleep again, very nearly having to drag him out of the seat by his cardigan. "Look alive, Sunshine, we have to get through customs after claiming our bags."

  
"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill..." he muttered, dragging himself to his feet.

  
After some difficulty finding their bags (Jihyun had never thought to tie any kind of brightly-colored identifier to his plain, black bag), and a slightly embarrassing moment at customs (the agent had raised her eyebrows just a _little_ too suggestively when Kat stated that they were traveling for pleasure), they waddled out to the pick-up zone. They looked pretty hellish; Kat was exhausted and Jihyun had a crick in his neck from sleeping upright. "So now what?"

  
"I told you, Danielle's gonna pick us up." Kat did her best not to sound bitchy in her sleep-deprived state.

  
"So I finally get to meet the infamous Danielle?"

  
"And my parents. Don't worry, I already told them you don't eat meat." Kat shook her head. "I have no idea what my mother will cook..."

  
"Ah, don't worry about me too much. I've already accepted that my options might be limited out in the desert. I won't beat myself up about it!" Jihyun laughed.

  
"Won't it make you sick, though? I've known people who got really sick to their stomachs after being off of meat for a long time."

  
"I'll be fine as long as I don't eat beef. Since it's so rich and fatty."

  
Finally, a familiar car pulled up to the curb. A young woman bearing a striking resemblance to Kat climbed out and popped the trunk. Her face was more narrow, and she was taller, more athletic, with straight hair instead of wild curls, but she had those same piercing blue eyes, the same smile. They didn't fall into each other's arms giggling, like one might think, instead exchanging the same wry smirk. _Sisters, indeed._ "Y'all hungry?"

  
"Honey Buddha Chicken Biscuit," Kat murmured, crawling into the front seat.

  
\---

  
A high-pitched, but husky little bark greeted Kat and Jihyun as they arrived at Kat's family's home. A frosty-faced little dachshund wandered slowly into the entryway, barking sharply at the "intruders."

  
"Greta!" Kat scooped the tiny dog up into her arms, careful to support the dog's lengthy back. "Hi, baby!" She peppered little smooches against Greta's rust-colored hair, holding her out to acquaint her with Jihyun. "Careful, she's a little nipper." The dog gave him a careful sniff, letting out one more soft little "woof" of approval and wagging her tail. Tentatively, Jihyun gave her a little scratch under her chin, and the tail wagged harder.

  
"He's a keeper," Danielle commented. "He gets the Greta Seal of Approval."

  
"Seal? But she's a dog," Kat mused. "Sorry, my humor gets bad when I'm tired."

  
"Your humor's always bad, Kat," Danielle retorted.

  
"You two really are sisters."

  
"Tell me about it." An older woman padded into the living room, dressed in leggings and a "Life is Great" sweatshirt. _I can see where Kat gets her clothing preferences._ She had short hair, straight like Danielle's, but the shape of her face matched Kat's. "So this must be the infamous Jihyun Kim."

  
Jihyun turned a bit pink, laying a hand on the back of his neck. "I don't know about _infamous_..."

  
Mrs. Stolz waved him off. "The two of you must be exhausted."

  
Jihyun yawned. "I _am_ feeling a little jet-lagged."

  
"Jet-lagged?! You just slept for thirteen hours on the plane! You only woke up long enough to fill out the customs form!" Jihyun shrugged, and Kat sighed. "Come on, I'll show you to the guest room."

  
"Where will you sleep?"

  
"I'll just crash on the sofa-bed in the den." She meant "crash," too. As soon as the bed had been pulled out, Kat collapsed onto it face-first, dead to the world for the next five hours, until Greta's barking woke her up again when two retrievers dared walk past the house.

  
Her peaceful slumber interrupted, Kat dragged herself from the mattress and out to the garage. She started rifling through the recreation equipment her family had accumulated over the years, finally locating the largest size tent they owned. The box claimed that the tent would accomodate four people, _so... two people_. She tossed it into the back of the old jeep, next searching for the small cans of propane to fit the travel grill. She returned inside to find Jihyun chatting with her mother over lunch. _Please don't say anything weird to him..._ "Do you know where the propane canisters are?"

  
"Dad keeps them in the hall closet. He's paranoid that they'll explode if they get too hot in the summer."

  
"Are you getting things ready?" Jihyun stood up, pushing his chair back under the table. "Let me help you."

  
"Oh! While I'm thinking about it..." Kat wagged her finger, heading off into the spare bedroom. She threw open the closet door, revealing the safe inside.

  
"What do you need from there? Money?"

  
"Nah," Kat replied, clicking in the combination. She opened the thick steel door to reveal a variety of firearms. She removed a sleek rifle, its polished wooden butt gleaming.

  
"A-A gun? What would you need a gun for?!"

  
"You tellin' me you want to go into javelina country unarmed? Them suckers'll gut ya open with their tusks and eat you alive."

  
"I have to admit, that sounds pretty terrible."

  
"Don't worry, I'm an excellent marksman." Kat removed several paper targets stored with the guns. "See that grouping? I'm licensed, so it's not a problem. Might should take the Desert Hawk too..."

  
"Easy, we're just going camping, not storming a compound!"

  
Kat ignored him, busy admiring a shiny revolver. "Kruger 45-cal single-action. Not very practical, but fun to shoot."

  
Jihyun shook his head. "You're a strange one, Kat."

  
\---

  
As the sun began to gradually droop behind the tall pecan trees, Jihyun joined Kat's father outside as he puffed on a fat cigar. "I'm not allowed to smoke these in the house," he commented sheepishly. Jihyun smirked, producing his pipe and a small pouch of tobacco from his pocket. "Need a light?" Mr. Stolz asked, holding up a book of matches.

  
"Just like Kat."

  
"Hmm?"

  
"She's asked me that same question, the exact same way. She uses matches too."

  
"I didn't realize Kat smoked."

  
"Well, she doesn't smoke tobacco, per se."

  
"I worry about that girl sometimes..." Kat's father sighed.

  
"Because she smokes?"

  
"No, no, we've all had a little pot in our day. She can just be so...mercurial. She doesn't stay in one place for too long. The littlest thing will set her off, and she runs. She's...flighty."

 

"Danielle said something similar."

  
"I think it's wonderful that she's not afraid to try new things and go adventuring. I just worry that she'll miss out on things. Things like marriage, parenting, long-term friendships..."

  
"Do you think those kinds of things frighten her?" Jihyun conjectured.

  
Mr. Stolz guffawed loudly. "I _know_ they do! Especially after..."

  
Jihyun cocked his head, confused. "After what?"

  
"Well...if Kat hasn't told you herself, I probably shouldn't say anything. That's her story to tell, not mine."

  
_Kat...what happened to you?_

  
"You look out for her, okay? There's something different about you; the way she relates to you is...different. I can tell she trusts you. I don't know how you did it, but she let you in. So please, take care of her."

  
"I will."

  
\---

  
Kat's mother poured her a second glass of wine. "How did you meet Jihyun?"

  
"He came to my show in Seoul a few months back. He's a photographer too; that's why he's coming with me."

  
"Is there...maybe another reason?" Mrs. Stolz smiled hopefully.

  
"Uh...He's my friend? Friends travel and do stuff together?" Nice try, mom.

  
"Are you going to run away from him too?"

  
"W-What are you talking about?"

  
"Come on, every time a man gets close to you, you run away. Ever since-"

  
"Don't."

  
Kat's mother sighed. "I can tell he's different to you." Kat knew better than to play dumb. Her mother could always read her like a book.

  
"To answer your question, no. I'm not going to bail on him. He is different. So many people have already let him down. To many people have hurt him. I can't put him through that again." Kat shook her head. Though she didn't show it, her instinct _was_ to run. The pull she felt toward Jihyun was too strong already, and yet, the idea of running, abandoning him, made her sick.

  
"You really care about him, don't you."

  
"We understand one another."

  
"You be good to that man, you hear me? I can't say I fully understand, but...take care of each other."

  
"I'll do whatever I can."

  
\---

  
Mrs. Stolz watched as Kat and Jihyun piled their things into the old jeep, a travel mug of coffee in each hand. She wished they would stay for another couple of days, but she knew they were anxious to get going on their little adventure. _Are you sure 6:00 a.m. isn't too early to be leaving?_ Of course, Kat never was one to linger in a place longer than necessary. Six years on the run...

  
Jihyun had always known Kat to be a cautious driver. However, they weren't in Seoul anymore. Dallas was a whole different ball game, and Kat drove like a maniac here. Then again, everyone here drove like maniacs. It was every man for himself: kill or be killed. "How long will we be driving today?" he asked nervously as Kat was nearly cut off by an oblivious driver in a minivan.

  
"Ten hours."

  
"TEN?!" _This place is too ridiculous._

  
After a quick stop for breakfast around nine, they were back on the road, talking to pass the time. "How did you get into photography?" Jihyun wondered aloud.

  
"Hmm...kind of incidentally, really. When I was about eight or nine, my family went on holiday to Hawaii, and my parents gave me a disposable camera to take my own pictures. I ended up having so much fun that they had to get me probably three more disposables during the trip. For my next birthday, I got my first film camera, kind of a cheap little thing, but appropriate for my age."

  
"That's...kind of cute actually. I can almost picture tiny Kat chasing after seagulls, trying to get a shot."

  
Kat laughed. "I think I still have those pictures somewhere. I got my first digital camera for my thirteenth birthday, and my first DSLR at sixteen. I even got a job working at a photography equipment shop so that I could get discounts."

  
"And then you went to college to pursue your passion."

 

"Exactly. What about you?"

  
"I don't know how to describe it really; it's always just kind of been part of who I am. Both of my parents are artists too, so it was kind of inevitable. I think I just picked up one of my father's cameras one day, and...never really put it down."

  
"Okay your explanation is way more deep and poetic than mine. Not fair," Kat laughed.

  
Ultimately, the drive ended up taking closer to eleven or twelve hours, because Jihyun kept asking to pull over and take pictures. Kat understood, of course, more amused and endeared by his fascination than anything. All of this was new and exciting to him, even things she found rather dull and mundane. Finally, a great mountain landscape rose up over the horizon, barely visible in the distance. Jihyun's heart swelled as it came into clear view; most of their drive had been rather flat, but now, the surface of the earth came alive. "It's...beautiful."

  
Kat grinned smugly. "Yeah, once you get past the twin shitties, the Midland-Odessa area, it quickly gets much nicer."

  
The road began to wind before them, taking a slow journey cut through the mountainside. A herd of wild goats made their way up the rocky cliff face. Another turn, and a pair of antelope grazed right off the side of the road. "I didn't know there would be so much wildlife..."

  
"Surprise! Those aren't even the most interesting critters you'll see, either."

  
"Hey...this will probably sound like a stupid question, but...are roadrunners real?"

  
The question took Kat by surprise, and she burst out laughing. "Yes, yes, they're real. They're small though, like, chicken size. Think of an athletic chicken."

  
\---

  
"Hey, help me put up the tent." _The tent. Not "my tent" or "this tent."_ Jihyun swallowed hard, going over to help Kat with the tent that they were apparently going to share. Strangely, Kat didn't seem phased by the idea at all. Of course, this was all out of practicality. Out in nature, there was safety in numbers, and it was generally more practical for them to stay in the same place. Still, Jihyun felt a bit tense about this, the idea of sleeping just inches from Kat. This was essentially the same thing as sharing a bed, right? They were friends, so why did this feel so... _naughty_?

  
Kat lounged about idly after getting everything unloaded and set up, watching Jihyun look for cactus, occasionally snapping a picture. "You like cactus?"

  
He grinned broadly, with the fervent excitement of a small child. "Yeah! I do."

  
She smiled in return, digging her utility knife out of her pocket. "Let me show you something." Kat clipped a fat, purpley fruit from one of the cactus pads, sitting down on a nearby rock to scrape off the spines.

  
Jihyun squatted down to watch her. "What is it?"

  
Kat sliced the fruit down the middle, offering one half to him. "It's a prickly pear. A cactus fruit." She bit into the magenta flesh, juice running down her chin.

  
"Tastes kind of like a melon."

  
"Mmhmm." Kat's ears perked up at a snuffling sound nearby, and she looked up. "Jihyun," she whispered, tugging at his shirt and pointing to a spot roughly fifteen meters away. A group of hairy gray boar, their necks ringed in white, nosed the clay dirt.

  
"Are those...?"

  
"Javelinas? Yes, but they don't seem aggressive. Just stay quiet and still, and we'll see if they leave." Jihyun watched the animals with bated breath as Kat stared them down intensely, seeming to lean forward, shielding his body with her own. Finally, the hogs trotted off into the brush, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "I guess it's about time for dinner, isn't it?"

  
\---

  
Kat tied her wet hair into a pair of braids, yawning loudly. Jihyun was still down at the bath house, getting ready for bed. She grinned to herself, remembering how she'd fucked with him before.

  
_"Where are we supposed to go to..."_

  
_"You shit in the brush and hope a rattlesnake doesn't bite you in the ass."_

  
He'd sat there for a moment, mouth hanging agape. _"I was going to say, to bathe."_

  
_"And I was fuckin' with ya. There's a bath house just a little ways thataway."_

  
She pulled on a pair of long socks and unzipped her sleeping bag, wriggling down inside. Jihyun returned finally, crawling into his own bag, switching off the lantern.

  
He lay there, facing the side of the tent, heart racing. As he'd suspected, Kat lay just inches from him. She looked cute, too cute, hair tied into braids, big blue eyes gazing at him as he returned. It suddenly felt way too hot inside the tent. Jihyun didn't think he could be here until she fell asleep. "Kat? You asleep?"

  
"Mmm? Not yet. What's up?"

  
"I-I'm gonna go out and look at the stars a little longer." It wasn't a bad lie. Out here, millions of stars flooded the sky, glittering against the think blanket of cosmos. He slipped out, and promptly screamed his head off. Kat dove out of the tent after him, knife in hand.

  
"What? What is it?!" Hand trembling, Jihyun pointed to a large black bear snuffling about nearby. It turned to look at them, and his blood ran cold.

  
Kat stood up, lengthening herself to full height, standing with her legs apart and her shoulders squared. She took a breath and began to yell as loudly and deeply as she could. The sound came from deep inside, filling the night with horrific cacophony. It was an ancient sound, wild and dark, great and terrible. Jihyun was filled with awe.

  
The bear turned tail and lumbered away. He turned to Kat, who still stared down the bear's back side with the intensity and power of a great warrior goddess. He whispered into the stillness of night as a familiar feeling bubbled up inside him.. "You really are a wild one, aren't you?"

\---

A/N: As of this chapter's completion, we are officially halfway through the story! 


	61. And Then the Line Becomes Blurry

\---

It had been a long time since Chae-Young had attended a party. She'd gotten most of that out of her system during her time as an undergrad, and now generally preferred to drink alone. However, Yoosung's birthday warranted something special. Won-Jae had agreed to let her host it at his house, and she'd even managed to track down a few of Yoosung's LOLOL buddies to invite. This was all a bit of a surprise actually. Chae-Young had told him that they were simply going for B&B a day early. Of course, Yoosung's actual birthday wasn't for another couple of days, but that was a Sunday, and she didn't think it wise to throw a wild party if she'd be teaching the next day. With a hefty grunt, she placed the heavy cardboard box on the kitchen counter-top, and started pulling out glass bottles.

  
Won-Jae watched in amusement at the wide variety of liquors she pulled from her box of wonder. _Six bottles of champagne? Really?_ "Do you think we'll have enough booze?" he asked in pretend worry. "Maybe you should go out and get three more bottles of tequila!"

  
"Shut up, I've gotta keep eight people happy tonight!" _It is eight, right? Myself, Yoosung, Won-Jae, Momo, Junsu, the two guys from Yoosung's guild, and his friend from his community service projects...Luciel, was it?_ "It's a special occasion!" A hint of pink dusted Chae-Young's face. Won-Jae raised an eyebrow, but said nothing else. The doorbell rang then, and he trotted off to check.

  
He gave a long, low whistle. "Who do you know that drives a Lamborghini?"

  
"I can't believe my precious baby boy is going to be twenty-one years old!" a dramatic voice called through the house. Chae-Young turned to see the same red-haired man she'd seen talking with Hyun before.

  
"Hey, I know you. You were at Yuki's show, right?"

  
"Yeah, that's right. And you're the girl who made out with Yoosung for those pictures, yes?" Chae-Young turned as red as Luciel's hair, making him laugh. "Though, I'm not really supposed to be here right now, since I'm currently on a project, so don't tell anybody I snuck out."

  
"I ain't no snitch," Chae-Young shrugged, turning to Won-Jae. "You got the hot tub ready, right?"

  
"Yep, chlorinated it earlier this afternoon. Chae-Young, please be careful tonight. The hot water increases alcohol's effect on the body, so mind your drinking. I don't want to have to take you to the ER!" He wagged his finger at her.

  
"Don't worry, this isn't the first time I've gotten drunk in a hot tub."

  
\---

  
"Whose car is that?" Yoosung asked as they returned to Won-Jae's house.

  
_Crap!_ Chae-Young had forgotten to tell Luciel to move his car in order to keep the party a surprise. "Uh, Jae got new neighbors, and they're pretty obnoxious."

  
Yoosung looked over to the house next door, the one with cardboard in the windows and a broken toilet on the front lawn. "They should have used their money to fix up their house."

  
Chae-Young sighed, relieved by his naivete. "Ha, yeah." She nudged him inside the house, which had become strangely quiet, and into the kitchen, where everyone was waiting.

  
"Surprise," she murmured. "Happy Birthday."

  
"Yeah, Happy Birthday, dude!"

  
"I brought a cake~"

  
"Chae-Young brought a ton of alcohol."

  
"And she invited us!"

  
"We wouldn't miss it for the world."

  
"I think it's time for birthday spankings! Twenty-one of them!"

  
Yoosung turned to Chae-Young. "You even invited Seven?"

  
"Luciel? He invited himself, really..."

  
Yoosung threw his arms around her neck. "Thank you, Chae."

  
Chae-Young could feel the heat rising in her face. "Hey...it's nothing, really..." She paused for a moment before smacking him hard on the ass, earning a cute little yelp of surprise. "That's one! Only twenty more to go!" She selected a bottle of "birthday cake" vodka from the quagmire. "Who wants to do shots?!" She poured liquor into two shot glasses rimmed with sprinkles, passing one to Yoosung. "Cheers, muthafucka." He knocked it back faster than Chae-Young expected, wincing at the burn of ethanol before holding up the empty glass victoriously.

  
\---  
For a party that had begun so raucously with a round of shots, it progressed in a rather tame manner. Everyone now lounged in Won-Jae's living room, shoving greasy slices of pizza into their mouths as they played LOLOL on their respective devices. Then again, what would you expect when a bunch of gamers throw a party? It wasn't exactly a "cocaine and strip poker" kind of affair. As it turned out, LOLOL quests could be completed much faster with eight people working together.

  
Chae-Young returned from the kitchen, bearing a large bottle of tequila and a bowl of sliced limes. "Who's ready for round two?" Yoosung reached out with grabby hands, just a little too excited about the prospect of drinking recklessly. "Pass it 'til the bottle's empty." It seemed like Seven was the only one not drinking tonight. He wasn't much of a drinker, really, which had surprised Chae-Young, considering his mischievous personality. _To each their own._

  
"Is it hot tub time now?" Momoka asked.

  
"It's hot tub time anytime anyone wants to get in."

  
"I'll get in with you," Chae-Young replied to Momoka.

  
"M-Me too!" Yoosung scrambled to his feet. So _this_ was why Chae had told him to bring a bathing suit.

  
Junsu and Yoosung's guild friends declined to come outside, more content to continue gaming, while Won-Jae and Seven both felt more inclined to join the hot tub party.

  
The first to finish changing, Won-Jae carried a stack of towels outside, checking one more time to make sure the water's temperature and chlorine levels weren't too high. Momoka joined him after slipping into her silver tankini, bringing a couple of bottles of water with her. " _Oppa_ , do you think those two like each other?"

  
She didn't even have to name names. "Of course they do! I'm afraid nothing will come of it though... Yoosung is too timid and Chae-Young is...Chae-Young."

  
Momo tapped her finger against her lip. "Maybe if we...pushed them in the right direction...?"

  
Won-Jae grinned. "What do you have in mind?"

  
"Oh, I've got a few tricks up my sleeve." They were forced to drop the conversation as Yoosung headed outside.

  
"Is it alright to get in?"

  
"I'm sure it is," Chae-Young replied, joining them. Yoosung did his best not to stare at her, dressed only in a black string bikini that showed off her petite, slender form just a little too nicely. Of course, he'd seen her in less, but it still shocked him every time. _One pull of a string and..._ He hurried into the water before he could get too excited. Won-Jae gave Momoka a look as if to say "told you."

  
The toasty water kept everyone warm on what was otherwise a chilly evening. It was rather relaxing , really, until Seven cannonball-ed into the tub. Chae-Young shook the water from her hair. "You're not supposed to do that!"

  
"Catch this gnarly wave of 'I don't care.'" He passed around a bottle of whiskey stolen from the kitchen.

  
"I thought you didn't drink."

  
Seven shrugged. "Once in a while isn't so bad. Besides, I've gotta celebrate my boy's birthday!" he nudged Yoosung. "Let's play truth or dare!"

  
"Lightweight~" Chae-Young sing-songed.

  
"I'll start. Yoosung, truth or dare?"

  
"What, me?"

  
_Why do I feel like he's screwed either way?_

  
"T-Truth, I guess..."

  
The lenses of Seven's glasses seemed to glint in the moonlight. "Do you like anyone right now? Like, _like-like_?"

  
Yoosung's face flushed completely red. "I...uh..." There was no denying it when his face said everything. "Yeah, I like someone."

  
"Who is it?!"

  
Chae-Young held her arms up in an "X" shape. "Nope! You only get to ask one question per truth. He doesn't have to tell you!" Truthfully, Chae-Young didn't want to hear about the girl Yoosung liked. It made her feel too jealous. _Ignorance is bliss._

  
"Fine, then," Seven pouted. "Your turn, Yoosung."

  
"Okay, Won-Jae, truth or dare?"

  
"I choose truth." He held up his hands. "I have nothing to hide."

  
"What's the nastiest thing you do on a regular basis?"

  
"I drink coffee that's been sitting around so long that it's gotten cold. Next. Chae-Young, truth or dare?"

  
"That's easy. Dare," Chae-Young smiled mischievously.

  
Won-Jae tapped his finger against his chin. "I dare you to...give Yoosung a hickey." Momoka's mouth fell open, Seven burst out laughing, and Chae-Young's eyebrows shot up into her forehead.

  
"D-Do _what_ now?"

  
"Give 'im a hickey!"

  
"Uh-uh. I don't do dares that implicate other people. That's not right."

  
"I-It's okay, Chae. You can do it."

  
"Y'all are all drunk." Chae-Young shook her head and sighed before leaning over and pressing her mouth against Yoosung's throat. His breath hitched in a way that made her wet from something other than the water, and she sucked a little harder than she would have otherwise. A whimpering yelp escaped him, and she pulled away, frightened of hurting him. A deep red welt bloomed in place of her mouth, very, very pretty against Yoosung's fair skin.

  
"Did you leave a mark? I can't see."

  
"Oh-ho yeah," Seven reassured him. "It's really red." Chae-Young dunked her head under the water so that everyone would think the color in her face was from the heat of the tub, rather than her own embarrassment.

  
"Momo, truth or dare?"

  
"Dare!"

  
"Okay, I dare you to go get the champagne from the fridge!" Chae-Young laughed.

  
"Oh, boo! Give me a fun one next time." She scrambled out of the water and went to grab the bubbly, returning quickly with three bottles, popping one open and passing it to Chae-Young. "I guess we're back to Seven now? Truth or dare?"

  
"Dare, of course."

  
"I dare you to..." She passed the second bottle to him. "Drink this entire bottle of champagne by yourself. You don't have to chug it, just finish it by the time the party ends."

  
Chae-Young took a long drink from her own bottle and passed it to Yoosung, who drank from it tentatively. "Are you sure you're okay with sharing?"

  
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She looked at him, head cocked to the side.

  
"You know...the whole spit-swapping thing."

  
Chae-Young shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time!"

  
"Still, I just wanted to check."

  
"Yeah, it doesn't bother me, see?" She took another swig or champagne and leaned over to give Yoosung a quick kiss, effervescence still clinging to her lips. "See? It's nothing!"

  
_It's not nothing!_ everyone else thought in unison. Yoosung turned away, pressing his fingers against his mouth to hold the kiss there just a moment longer. 

  
"Anyway," Seven continued. "Yoosung, truth or dare?"

  
Chae-Young nudged him. "Pick dare this time," she reminded him.

  
"Right! I choose dare."

  
Seven's mouth curled into a malicious grin. "I dare you to call Chae-Young 'Noona' for the rest of the night." He cackled as color flooded his friend's face.

  
"You can refuse, but you'll be out of the game," Momoka reminded him.

  
"I-Is that okay with you..." Yoosung gulped. "...Noona?"

  
Chae-Young flushed red again. "Yes, that's fine," she agreed, just a little too eagerly.

  
\---

  
"Noooooonaaaaa..." Yoosung whined. "It's emptyyyyyyy!" He turned the champagne bottle upside-town to demonstrate.

  
Chae-Young ruffled his hair. "Oh, honey, you're so wasted!"

  
He hiccuped in response. "Is there any more?"

  
"You don't _need_ any more."

  
"Pleeeeease?" Yoosung pouted, giving the best puppy-dog eyes he could muster. "It's my birthdaaaaaaaayyyy!"

  
Chae-Young sighed, her cheeks pink. How could she say no when Yoosung asked her so _cutely_? _I never can resist a man who begs..._ She hauled herself out of the hot tub, suddenly feeling much more intoxicated on dry land, and stumbled off toward the fridge for the last bottle of bubbly. Most of the party guests had left already. Momo had elected to sleep here on the couch tonight, and Seven was waiting until he'd sobered up enough to drive home. Chae-Young had started to think that she should leave her car here overnight, and walk home instead. _But what about Yoosung?_ Someone needed to keep an eye on him, especially if he was to continue drinking.

  
She stepped outside, and he started making grabby hands at the bottle. "Not so fast. You have to share with me, okay?" Chae-Young wasn't about to let him drink the whole thing by himself when he was already this far gone. She'd have to take one for the team and drink at least half of it; her tolerance was higher anyway.

  
Won-Jae watched as Yoosung turned the champagne upright. "You should cut him off."

  
"Don't worry, I'm not going to let him drink the whole thing."

  
"He is really, really fucked-up."

  
"Listen, I'll take him back to my place and keep an eye on him." Won-Jae raised a suspicious eyebrow, making her blush. "I'm just going to let him sleep it off, and make sure he doesn't die! Nothing weird!"

  
\---

  
Chae-Young placed her hands on Yoosung's back to stabilize him as she nudged him out the front door. "Noonaaaa, issnot safeta drive when you been drinking!"

  
"I'm not going to drive. You're coming home with me so I can keep an eye on you. You're too drunk for me to leave you alone." She put her arm around his waist, and she could feel him lean on her for support as they walked toward Daesun's graduate housing. Luckily, it wasn't too far away, as Won-Jae had been mindful to rent a house close to the ceramics annex, which was located right next door to Chae-Young's building. Still the five blocks took a good thirty minutes to complete, with Yoosung's movements so slow and wobbly.

  
By the time they arrived at Chae-Young's apartment, he was at least able to stand upright on his own, though his slurred speech still indicated intoxication. "Go get a glass of water," she instructed as she did the locks on the front door.

  
She turned back around, gasping in surprise as Yoosung caught her in a deep kiss.

  
His lips were soft and warm against hers, moving ever so gently. Drunkenness clouding her own senses, Chae-Young melted under his touch, grabbing him by the back of the neck with one hand and running the other through soft, blond hair. Yoosung moaned against her responsiveness, sending a jolt of electricity up her spine. "I want you, Noona," he whispered tentatively. Chae-Young growled low, clutching him tighter against her, making him whimper in need.

  
His hands began to explore, starting at the small of her back and making their way inside her t-shirt. They came to rest on her waist as the kiss deepened, his tongue pressing against her lips. Chae-Young opened her lips, mouths tangling together, moans growing deep and hollow. She lifted the hand from Yoosung's neck and slid it up the front of his shirt, fingers touching, caressing, pinching, teasing. He trembled under her ministrations. "N-Noona!"

  
A hand moved from her waist, wandering further north until it lingered just below her breast. "Can I?" Yoosung whispered. Wordlessly, Chae-Young lay a hand over his, guiding it underneath the cup of her bra. A loud gasp escaped him as he squeezed the soft flesh, rolling the nipple between his fingers, earning a breathy sigh in response. She nipped lightly at his bottom lip, drawing another high-pitched whine.

  
Yoosung broke away from the kiss long enough to pull the collar of his shirt aside, revealing the deep bruise on his throat. "This is what you did to me earlier, Noona."

  
Chae-Young's eyes darkened, the sight of the mark exciting her more dominant side. "Did you like it?"

  
The deep flush of his cheeks darkened. "M-May I have another?" He swallowed hard. "P-Please?"

  
"Please what?"

  
"Please, Noona!"

  
She latched on to the other side of his neck, sucking more roughly and greedily than before, grazing her teeth against the soft flesh. Yoosung cried out loudly, encouraging her, and she dug her canines in deeper. The taste of copper hit her tongue, and she drew back, the pin-pricks of blood beading up on his skin showing her that perhaps she'd gotten carried away.

  
"I-I'm so... _hard_ , Noona..."

  
Chae-Young's voice was soft and low. "Could it be that you like to be _punished_? That you _like_ submitting to me?"

  
"Yes! Yes, I like it, Noona!" Yoosung dropped to his knees. "I wanna taste you." He tugged down Chae-Young's jeans, leaning forward to run his tongue over her delicate folds, still covered by the meshy fabric of her panties. Chae-Young's knees almost gave out. It was almost too much to resist- the sensation of the intimate touch, paired with the oh-so-tempting sight of Yoosung on his knees, his face buried between her thighs.

  
And yet...this wasn't right. Yoosung couldn't truly give consent like this. She'd already let this go too far, and continuing further would just be taking advantage of him. There was no way he'd be doing this if he were sober. He was just drunk and horny, and knew Chae-Young was an easy lay. She pulled back, jerking her pants back up. "We can't do this."

  
"Y-You don't want me?" he whimpered, looking like he might actually cry.

  
"It's definitely not that," she reassured him, shaking her head. "You're too drunk. It wouldn't be right."

  
"No! It's okay! You can do it with me if you want to!"

  
"You wouldn't be doing this if you weren't shit-faced. Besides, you won't even remember any of this tomorrow. I'm 99.9 percent sure you've blacked out."

  
"But...I want you... Please, Noona?"

  
"Tell you what: If you wake up tomorrow morning, and you remember everything that happened, and you still want to, we'll pick up where we left off. Deal?"

  
If Yoosung had had a tail, he would have been wagging it. "Okay!"

  
"You should try to sleep now. Go lay down, and I'll be in after I get you a glass of water. Make sure to lay on your side in case you throw up. Be a good boy for Noona, okay?"

  
He nodded eagerly, and Chae-Young helped him to his feet, watching as he stumbled off into her bedroom. She sighed loudly, running her hands through her hair. She'd gotten a taste for him now, and she worried that her craving would only intensify from here on out. She went into the kitchen, filling a plastic cup with water, and searching for painkillers. Finally finding what she sought, Chae-Young turned in for the night in the room where Yoosung already slept.

  
She gently played with his hair, its soft color glowing in the moonlight. "You don't want someone like me anyway," she whispered into the darkness, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She turned over, nestling against his back so that he'd remain on his side.

  
Chae-Young awoke eight hours later to the sound of Yoosung's low groans. Though, the noises came from pain this time around, rather than pleasure. "Chaaaaaae! What happened last night?"

  
"Dude, you got super drunk, so I brought you back here to make sure you didn't die," she grinned, thinking it best to keep some things to herself.


	62. Call of the Wild

\---

The Texan sun cast long shadows across the desert as it began its descent toward the western horizon. Though the climate remained dry, heat clung to every surface. Kat stilled, adjusting her lens to capture a roadrunner that paused for a moment near an ocotillo plant before continuing its hurried stride through the brush. A stray breeze ruffled her curls as she took a long drink from her water bottle. She had emphasized the importance of staying hydrated out here, as one dried out more quickly in this climate, and had been nagging Jihyun about it all day, in between her periodic reminders to put on more sunscreen. Of course, he did as he was told with no complaints. After all, this was her territory, not his own. After that first night out here, he generally trusted her to keep him alive in a place where seemingly everything wanted to kill him.

  
Kat ensured that they made the most of their time here, dragging him out of the tent early each morning. Out of consideration for her first time visitor to the region, she had them keep to the trails, where it was easiest to spot potential dangers. They'd been moving slowly along this loop all day, stopping every few minutes for pictures. Jihyun had taken some stunning pictures of a black-and-brown tarantula that scuttled across their path. The massive arachnids deeply concerned him at first, but Kat assured him that they weren't dangerous, squatting down and letting the hairy little creature crawl across her forearm. Finally, they made their way around the final bend in the trail, campsite coming into view.

  
Minding her location out of the corner of his eye, Jihyun lifted his camera, scrolling through the images he'd gotten today. Yes, many of them kind of looked the same, but to him they weren't. The sun lit the mountains differently from different angles. Separate perspectives yielded a variety of compositions. Jihyun hadn't realized that the desert could be so _alive_ , and he'd never seen so many varieties of cactus in his life- even purple! He grinned, staring at a photo of a minuscule species that Kat identified as a "hedgehog" cactus.

  
He felt a sudden weight on one of his feet and froze, afraid to look down. Slowly, Jihyun lowered his gaze, a thick diamond-patterned rope slithering across his boot. He promptly jumped about five feet and backed away. He hollered for Kat as the serpent reared back around to look at him. Its ribbed tail vibrated in warning as it pulled back, ready to strike. The snake was fast, but Kat was faster, bringing her heavy boot down onto its neck ( _Do snakes even have necks? Are they just one long neck?_ ) just below its head. It slammed down into the dirt, body wriggling as it attempted to escape.

  
She drew a large knife from her bag, bending down to cleanly slice the snake's head from its body. The length of it whipped about for a few moments before finally going completely still. Once it had stopped moving, Kat picked it up, taking it back with her. "What are you going to do with _that_?" Jihyun asked her, lip curling in mild disgust.

  
"I'm going to gut it, and cook the meat, of course."

  
His eyes widened. "You're going to _eat_ a _poisonous snake_?"

  
"Of course. Rattlesnake meat is good! The venom is contained only in the salivary glands and mouth, so the rest of the snake is safe to eat. If I have to kill something, I'm not going to let it go to waste!"

  
"I guess that makes sense. What's it like?"

  
"The meat is very mild-tasting, kind of like chicken. You have to boil it first to get the meat off of all the little bones. I'm going to bread it in cornmeal and fry it. A little garlic, a little smoked paprika..." Kat's mouth started to water in anticipation.

  
"I might actually have to try it. I think it's okay for me to eat something that tried to kill me!" Jihyun laughed.

  
He chose not to watch as Kat skinned and gutted the snake, instead gathering the prickly pears that she wanted for her special margaritas. When Jihyun finally returned to the campsite, she was removing the cuts of meat from a boiling pot, pulling the bits of flesh from the bones with a fork. Kat tossed the pieces into a red-speckled cornmeal mixture, then into a bowl of thick buttermilk, then back into the golden powder before dropping them into a cast iron skillet of boiling oil. The heat rendered them a rich golden-brown, oil still dancing on the crust at she extracted them.

  
Jihyun shook his head. "I shouldn't, but I'm going to."

  
\---

  
A log shifted, sending a puff of glowing embers up toward the speckled sky. Every bit of the snake had been eaten, along with a few too many tequila-heavy cocktails. The fire crackled and popped, keeping Jihyun and Kat warm after the cool of night settled across the high desert. He leaned back, gazing up at the starry velvet. "It's so beautiful out here..."

  
"I lived about two hours north for a year or so. I loved it."

  
"If you liked it so much, why did you leave?" Jihyun tilted his head in confusion. _What were you running away from?_

  
"It was just...time for me to go." He knew that she wasn't giving him the full story, but he didn't want to push too much. If Kat wanted to talk about what happened out here, she would. She wasn't the kind of person who trusted easily, Jihyun realized, the opposite of him. Maybe he trusted _too_ easily, desperate for the approval of others, while Kat pulled away too much, afraid of disappointment.

  
The flames cast a warm glow across her face, hair tumbling over one shoulder. She looked so incredibly lovely. Kat was the wildest kind of beautiful, intense like the sun, but as soft as moonlight. She squinted just a little as she gazed into the heart of the fire, her pupils pinpricks against a sea of blue. Jihyun picked his camera from his lap, wordlessly collecting a few candid images. Kat gazed at him as she heard the shutter clicks, resting her chin on a fist and just barely parting her lips. Jihyun swore he could see just a hit of color rise into her cheeks. "You make a good model," he explained.

  
She smirked. "I did do some figure modeling on the side while working on my MFA. That's a little different, though. I never really considered myself to be particularly photogenic."

  
"Maybe I'm just _that_ good of a photographer," Jihyun grinned cheekily.

  
"I could pose for you more if you like."

  
"Maybe. I think I could take some nice photographs of you. I'm already getting some ideas for poses."

  
"We can go ahead and do some now if you want. I'm up for it," Kat suggested.

  
"Yeah, that would be great, actually!"

  
"So should I go inside the tent and strip down or-"

  
"You're okay with posing nude?!" Jihyun's eyes widened, face growing hot.

  
Kat shrugged. "It's no different than when I did it before."

  
It kind of was, in Jihyun's opinion. She'd be naked, and alone with only one other person, rather than in a classroom full of students! Did he _want_ her to pose nude? He absolutely did. Jihyun was slowly beginning to realize that his desire to make art wasn't the only need he'd neglected over the years. Of course, nothing would come of this, but he couldn't pass up this opportunity! Maybe his intentions weren't exactly...pure, but it'd be okay as long as he didn't act inappropriately toward her, right?

  
Jihyun did his best to act nonchalant. "We could take a few test shots, see how it goes," he shrugged.

  
Kat nodded, unzipping the tent and crawling inside. Jihyun paused for a moment before following her. This would be the first time he'd seen a naked woman since Rika. It wasn't that he felt as though he was betraying her or anything, or that he even cared if he was. Something about it just felt...significant, like some kind of a step forward, or something. He liked Kat, had certain... _desires_ for her. Jihyun didn't know how things would go from here, but he needed to keep moving forward, striding confidently into the unknown.

  
\---

  
He watched, rapt, pretending to fiddle with his camera as Kat whipped her shirt off over her head, revealing the large crest tattoo on her upper-back. She rolled up onto her knees to unbutton her jeans and pull them down, flopping onto her back to kick them the rest of the way off. She wore thong underwear, especially revealing on someone with such a round bottom. Those were tossed aside as well, along with her bra.

  
Kat had the kind of body that made Jihyun's breath hitch in his throat. Tanned and lean, but delightfully curved. Her flesh dipped inward at the waist before flaring out once again into lovely, wide hips. Her backside was full and bouncy, with thighs to match. Jihyun bit his lip to resist reaching out to give the smooth flesh a gentle pinch. He always did have a certain weakness for shapely asses. He worried a bit that these photos might wind up being a little more _erotic_ than he intended.

  
She glanced backward over her shoulder, and he busied himself with his DSLR, feigning disinterest. "Pose me whenever you're ready."

  
"Oh, ah...Lie down on your side, facing away from me. Lean on your arm a little."

  
"Sort of like Ingres' _Grand Odalisque_?"

  
Kat's brilliant mind only seemed to make her that much more appealing. "K-Kind of, but lay down a bit more, and face away from me." Jihyun didn't want her to see the hot flush of his face as he leaned in closer to arrange the blankets around her. Her natural, effortless beauty captivated him, and he spent a good few minutes just photographing this one pose, trying to find the best possible angle. He'd display this image next to one of his desertscapes, title the diptych _Landscapes, Hard and Soft_.

  
Heart pounding in her chest, Kat did her very best to remain still. She'd posed nude so many times before, but never in such an... _intimate_ setting. She knew Jihyun wouldn't try any funny business, that he'd be a perfect gentleman about this, a professional, but she still felt a little bit vulnerable. A little part of her wished that she weren't the only one nude right now. As much as she avoided romance, she did have certain needs, and she acknowledged that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have Jihyun naked too, on top of her, his cock buried deep inside. Kat's mouth went dry at the thought, biting back a little gasp of excitement. Of course, it wasn't like it _meant_ anything! Her body was simply very attracted to his body! That was all there was to it! He was her _friend_!

  
Jihyun posed her a few times more, laying on her back, on her stomach, sitting up on her knees. With each shot her body seemed to grow lovelier. He longed to run the tips of his fingers across the shapely flesh, into every dip and crevice. All the same, these sorts of shots didn't fully capture her full essence. They focused on her physical form, neglecting the ancient, vibrant spirit inside her. "Would you be willing to do a few shots outside? You can wrap yourself in a blanket, of course."

  
"Yeah. It's late, so I don't think anyone will see!" Kat grinned. She grabbed the hand-crocheted blanket from inside her sleeping bag, curling it around her form and stepping out of the tent. She shivered a bit at the harshness of the cold nighttime wind, not noticing that the once-glittering stars had been concealed by cloud-cover. The wind whipped her wild curls about her head, also kicking up glowing embers from the dying fire, which shone reflected in Kat's eyes. She cast her intense gaze toward Jihyun, and he quickly snapped a few shots, hoping to finish quick so that she could get back inside and warm up. He lowered the camera, holding eye contact, taking a moment to breath in this wild, radiant creature before him.

  
Without warning, big, wet drops fell from the sky, pattering loudly against the packed clay earth. Kat started laughing, tossing the blanket back inside, allowing the rain to wash over her, skin prickling in response. She stretched her arms out, scrunching her face up. The light sprinkling became a downpour, and she reveled in the spontaneity of the moment, as if the cold water were to cleanse her soul. Kat's wet hair still hung in slight waves, and rivulets streamed down her bare flesh, dripping from her fingers and the pink tips of her breasts. Jihyun's camera clicked wildly. After a few minutes, her teeth began to chatter from the cold, and he nudged her back inside the warm safety of the tent.

  
He ruffled her hair with a towel, laughing softly and shaking his head. "You never cease to amaze me."

  
\---

  
Light rain still tapped against the tent's nylon walls, punctuated by the occasional roll of thunder. Jihyun couldn't seem to sleep, but not because of the weather. It seemed that Kat had already drifted off, but he still lay awake, clicking over and over through the photos he'd taken earlier that evening, feeling as though he'd never want to photograph another subject ever again. His outside images were by far the loveliest: raw, natural, spontaneous, wild.

  
Jihyun glanced over at Kat. She still shivered in her sleep, cold from being drenched in the rain before, despite the several thick blankets piled on top of her. He began to worry that she'd get hypothermia, but, unfortunately, she hadn't brought any kind of a heater. He laid a hand across her face to check her temperature, and, sensing the warmth, she slowly shuffled closer in her sleep. Soon she was snuggled up against him, rolling over and wrapping her arms around the warm body. Jihyun flushed red, hoping she wouldn't wake to this scenario.

  
Out of both concern and affection, he put one arm around her, cradling her closer against his chest. Gradually, the shivering subsided, and a peaceful expression crossed Kat's face as she sighed softly. Tentatively, he laid his free hand on top of hers, gently stoking his thumb across her prominent knuckles. Jihyun whispered to her softly. "Kat..." She didn't respond, deep asleep. Unable to resist, he leaned forward, laying a soft kiss against her hair, the scent of patchouli flooding his senses.

  
When Jihyun woke the next day, his heart dropped into his stomach as he realized that Kat had already left the tent. He scrambled into a set of clean clothes, hurrying outside. To his relief, she gave a cheerful smile when he entered her view.

  
"I got up early to watch the sunrise! It's always beautiful the morning after a storm!" She offered him a cup of freshly-brewed coffee, settling into a folding chair and gazing out across the horizon. "Later, I want to see the pictures you took last night," she mused, taking a sip from her mug. Pink and purple streaked across the sky, the light of dawn breaking through. Kat smiled gently to herself before turning and grinning broadly to Jihyun.

  
In that moment, he realized that she'd fully replaced Rika in his heart. Wild, free, brave, honest, kind, gentle, giving, spirited... He loved her.

\-----

A/N: Here's a little teaser for the next chapter, slated for release on Monday:

https://squirrel-nut-zippers.tumblr.com/image/161146309231

 


	63. All-In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is like, 90% porn, so...

\---

Dusty-pink silk brushed gently against Sun-Mi's skin as she stepped into the new dress she had selected for tonight. She'd chosen to indulge Jumin's request for pink, anxious to see what his response would be. Her desire for him mounted further with each passing day, and she craved those rare moments in which she was able to take him by surprise, and he'd momentarily reveal the flame of lust flickering within him. Tonight they would go on their first "real" date, not that this was really comparable to a typical "first date," after everything that had happened. Sun-Mi dabbed smoky perfume behind her ears, on the back of her neck, within the bends of her knees. Her goal tonight was to be _irresistible_.

  
A couple of days prior, she'd been sent shopping for something new to wear tonight. The venture had started out innocently enough, with Sun-Mi browsing through the ladies' eveningwear section. As she approached the far end of the department, eye drawn by a bit of pink, she realized suddenly that the "intimates" area was so _conveniently_ located just across the aisle. A hot blush colored her cheeks as a salacious idea occurred to her, and she continued her shopping expedition in this new section, hoping that the security guard tailing her wouldn't spill the beans to Jumin regarding her lacy, provocative purchase.

  
She wore it under the sleeveless sheath dress now, the sensation of this type of garment rather different from the sort of underclothes she typically wore. Usually, Sun-Mi didn't prefer thong underwear, as they had an irritating tendency to crawl inside her ample bottom, but they matched the pretty, pink slip she'd selected, and seemed much... _sexier_ than her preferred bikini style. On the downside, the slip's cups contained no padding, comprised only of sheer mesh and lace, and she worried a bit over the implications of the lack of padding, combined with the evening chill. It would all be worth it though, to witness Jumin's face as she slipped out of her dress, to see and feel his more primal side taking over, to have him take all of his frustrations and pent-up desire out on her body, fucking her senseless. A slight moan slipped past her lips.

  
Her need was reciprocated, of course. A dozen coral-colored roses had been delivered earlier in the day, a floral selection meaning "desire." The card read "I look forward to our special evening. xx JH." Sun-Mi wrapped the black mink stole she'd retrieved from her apartment around her bare shoulders, heading for the living room to find Jumin. He waited for her there, dressed in a finely-tailored black suit, his gaze softening and mouth opening slightly as he saw her.

  
Jumin's breath hitched in his throat as she entered his view. She'd rolled her hair into soft curls, and obliged his request for pink. He'd been right, of course; Sun-Mi did look tempting in pink. He wondered how much longer he'd be able to control himself when she looked so adorable. She'd probably look even cuter straddling his lap and moaning, a hot blush painted across her face.

  
He held his hand out to her. "Shall we?" Sun-Mi daintily placed her tiny hand in Jumin's, and he bent down slightly to gently press a kiss against her knuckles. Lacing their fingers together, he led her out of the apartment and into the elevator. "I think you'll be pleased by what I've planned for tonight. Six courses-"

  
"Six?!" she exclaimed in surprise, and he grinned.

  
"Only the best for my princess." He laughed softly. Sun-Mi always turned so pink when he called her that, which only made him want to do it more.

  
\---

  
Sun-Mi tilted her head back, letting the cold oyster (third course) slide into her mouth. She honestly couldn't believe that Jumin had gone so far as to arrange a private room just for the two of them. She supposed that she'd have to get used to being spoiled this way; no matter how much she insisted that he didn't need to do so much, the luxuries continued. On the positive side, he at the very least put thought into his plans, indulging her with things she enjoyed. The attentive waiter appeared at her side with another glass of fine Scotch.

  
"Really, Jumin, you spoil me too much..."

  
"Only because you're so precious to me." He smiled gently. "You know that, don't you?" Jumin reached out to draw a finger down the side of her face.

  
"Yes, I know."

  
He leaned in closer, tracing his thumb across her lips. "Do you know this? When I look at your cherry-red lips, I want to do something _so bad_." Clearly, the red wine had begun to chip away at his inhibitions, and Jumin's long-suppressed desires bubbled to the surface. Sun-Mi involuntarily trembled, biting her lip. "It seems to me that you might also enjoy such an act." She nodded hesitantly, quivering between her thighs at the suggestion.

  
If the waiter hadn't returned with the Filet Mignon main course then, Jumin might very well have laid her out on the table right then and there. Distracted by the juicy cuts of beef, the hot, sticky tension dissipated for the time being as they ate silently, stealing surreptitious glances at one another. He dabbed at his mouth with his napkin, patiently waiting for Sun-Mi to finish before speaking.

  
"There's something I really want to tell you." He spoke so softly and solemnly, drawing her in with the sweetness in his voice.

  
"What is it?"

  
"Ever since I met you, everything feels so new to me. You've opened up a new universe for me, a world even Rika couldn't open."

  
Sun-Mi's eyes softened. "Jumin...do you really feel that way?"

  
"I do."

  
\---

  
Jumin opened the car door, allowing Sun-Mi to slip inside. "We'll have port and cigars when we return home." She nodded, taking his hand and leaning her head against his shoulder as he joined her in the back seat. "Did you enjoy our date, my darling?" Sun-Mi nodded again. "If...there's anything you ever want, or need, please don't hesitate to tell me. I want to fulfill your every desire." His eyes glittered just a bit at the last statement.

  
Sun-Mi leaned in close, whispering into his ear. "I want to...and be...by you."

  
Jumin coughed, her bold proposition taking him by surprise. "That was quite unexpected. Is that really what you want?" He shook his head. "You have quite peculiar taste..." Still, her request excited him. The remainder of the ride back was rather tense, Jumin biting his tongue to avoid pulling Sun-Mi onto his lap and frantically stuffing his cock inside her. She deserved better than that. Besides, the wait would only make the final reward that much sweeter.

  
\---

  
Cigar smoke curled up into the night as Sun-Mi took another puff. Jumin hadn't anticipated how pretty she'd look, long eyelashes dusting her cheeks as she closed her eyes, wrapping her soft lips around the end of the cigar. They sat outside on the patio, enjoying the end of their evening.

  
"Sun-Mi?"

  
"Hmm?" Her eyes flicked up to make contact with his own.

  
"I've been thinking about it a lot. I want to tell you that you are my blessing, my love." He could hear her breath hitch at the word "love." "I hope you are always aware of this while you are with me."

  
Sun-Mi bit her lip, resting her cigar in the nearby ashtray. Slowly, heart pounding, she reached forward for him, pressing her lips softly against his. Jumin gasped, surprised. He placed his wine glass on the outdoor table and reached back, cradling her face as he moved gently against her. They hadn't kissed like this since the first time, both having forgotten just how potent the feeling could be. Sun-Mi moaned deeply into the kiss, and Jumin tangled his fingers in her hair in response, tugging gently, earning a low whimper.

  
He began to grow excited, but made no effort to suppress the reaction this time. He knew Sun-Mi desired intimacy with him, and she wouldn't be put off if she were to notice the bodily reaction. Testing the waters, Jumin opened his mouth to trace the shape of her lips with his tongue. She gasped cutely, moaning and pressing harder against him. Her hands clutched tightly at his shirt sleeves, and he could feel her quivering with excitement.

  
She pulled away momentarily, breath coming in little pants. "Jumin, I'm a bit cold." Sun-Mi's voice was higher, and more cutesy than normal. _Are you trying to tempt me?_ "I'd like to go inside, please." It really wasn't all that chilly tonight, but he obliged her, leading her inside and knowingly closing the long drapes before taking a seat on the couch. She made no move to sit next to him, instead standing directly between his parted knees, maintaining intense eye contact.

  
Sun-Mi reached behind her back for the zipper pull, clasping it and slowly dragging it downward. "Sun-Mi, what are you-" Jumin fell silent as she slipped the garment off of her shoulders, letting the pink silk fall to the floor. He breathed heavily, taking in the delicious treat in front of him. The sheer fabric stretched across her breasts, not quite concealing the pink nipples underneath. The slip parted in the front, held closed by a single black ribbon, tied into a bow. She was more slender than he expected, but with hips that flared dramatically, and soft, fleshy thighs that Jumin couldn't wait to dig his fingers into. He let out a soft groan as he looked over her.

  
He looked up into her deep blue eyes. "You're heading into dangerous territory. If you continue to tease me like this, I _will_ try to own you completely. I'm all-in or all-out, so please."

  
Sun-Mi's eyes darkened, and she crawled onto Jumin's lap, straddling his hips. A small grunt slipped past his lips as she leaned right against his stiff cock. "I'm all-in."

  
He rested his hands on her hips, squeezing lightly. "Do you want me inside you?"

  
"Y-Yes..." she sighed breathily.

  
"I want to hear you say it."

  
She whimpered. "I want you inside me."

  
"Good girl."

  
"And you thought _I_ had strange tastes," Sun-Mi murmured, leaning in to resume their kiss. Jumin pressed his tongue into her mouth, gripping her hips a little tighter, making her whine loudly. She reached for his tie, swiftly undoing it and tossing it aside before setting to work unbuttoning his shirt. She wanted him naked and on top of her as quickly as possible.

  
"Eager, are we?" Jumin pulled back to look over her again, at her needy expression, tongue poking out salaciously, her dilated pupils, the bit of shiny fluid beginning to soak through her panties. "You're wet for me, princess?" He took one end of the black ribbon between his thumb and forefinger and pulled slowly, undoing the knot which kept Sun-Mi's soft breasts barely concealed. The bow undone, her top came open slightly, and Jumin pulled it aside, exposing her bare chest to him.

  
Her breasts were on the smaller side, but shapely and round, tipped in soft pink. He cupped them in his hands at first, squeezing lightly, and she sighed, eyes fluttering closed. Jumin pinched the tips gently, eliciting a shuddering gasp of pleasure. "Oh, you like that!" He continued his abuse of her nipples as he kissed her again, growling in excitement as she absentmindedly began to roll her hips against him, seeking greater pleasure.

  
Jumin moved his hands down to grasp at Sun-Mi's bottom, fingers digging into the soft flesh as he thrust his hips upward in return, grinding his arousal against her. She whimpered and moaned, fluids coating his tented trousers. He went for her neck, grazing his teeth against her skin before latching on and sucking hard, making her hips lurch forward involuntarily. Sun-Mi began fumbling with his belt, whimpering loudly. "I want you!"

  
That was all the encouragement Jumin needed. He stood, lifting her in a princess-carry, taking her off into his bedroom. He laid her down gently on her back, making sure her head rested comfortably on a fluffy pillow. He gazed down at her for a moment; Sun-Mi, sprawled out on his bed with her legs parted, hot-faced and ready for him. He grinned hungrily, leaning down to pull off her slip and toss it aside, running his tongue over her pert, exposed nipples. She stared up at him, panting, squeezing her legs together, desperate for a bit of friction.

  
Jumin stood up straight again, making sure she watched as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way. He smiled softly as she bit her lip, eyes scanning his fit form. He undid his pants, letting them fall to the floor as well, feeling a bit proud as Sun-Mi's mouth fell open a bit, eyeing the outline of his arousal.

  
Sun-Mi whimpered as her gaze settled on Jumin's hard cock. He was a bit...bigger than she expected, and she briefly worried that he might not fit inside of her. She'd always been told that the first time would hurt, but this might be even more painful than she'd come to anticipate. Still, she wanted it, she wanted him to fuck her senseless, to fill her with his thick cock, to come completely unraveled as he found his bliss inside of her.

  
"Ah...I should tell you- I haven't done this before, so...please...be gentle with me." She cast her gaze aside, feeling embarrassed.

  
He crawled onto the bed, leaning over her. "Don't worry, my princess. I'll take such good care of you. I haven't done this with anyone else either. I promise I'll do my best to be gentle. We'll take it slow, okay?"

  
Sun-Mi nodded, reaching up to touch his face, pulling him down to kiss her again. Jumin's hands roamed over her body, over her chest and stomach, her thighs... His fingers slipped between them as he grew bolder, teasing her gently through her panties. She let out a high-pitched cry, reaching out to touch Jumin in return. He gasped as her fingertips made contact with his length, twitching in response to the sudden attention he received. He felt so unbearably stiff, cock aching with need. He wanted Sun-Mi so desperately, to feel her, tight and hot around him, moaning and quivering as he pounded into her.

  
He hooked his fingers through the elastic of her panties, slipping them off and tossing them aside. Suddenly shy of her nakedness, Sun-Mi squeezed her thighs together, hiding herself from him. Jumin traced his finger across the crevice of her thighs, and she relaxed, allowing him to push them apart, exposing her slick pinkness. Almost instinctively, he slipped a single finger inside her, thrusting slowly and gently. Pleasure crossed her face, and she grew even wetter under his touch.

  
"It's a bit...embarrassing..." she whimpered, face hot.

  
"What, me touching you like this?" Jumin's voice was deep and rich, sticky with lust.

  
"No, being the only one naked."

  
"You shouldn't be embarrassed," he whispered, sucking and nipping along her collarbone. "You look beautiful." He pulled back, slipping his thumbs under the waistband of his shorts. "However, if you wish for me to be naked as well, I'm happy to oblige. Slowly, as if to tease her, Jumin tugged his shorts off, erection springing free. He settled himself between her legs, gently rocking his hips to rub himself against her, coating himself with her slickness. She trembled and whimpered, clutching at the pillow. "You're so wet, baby."

  
She gulped, nodding. Her voice caught in her throat for a moment as she searched for the words, mind hazy from the sensation of Jumin's cock rubbing against her quivering pussy. "I...I w-want you n-now."

  
"Are you ready for me?"

  
She nodded wildly, reaching for him. Jumin rested on his knees, leaning over her, pressing his tip against her opening as she wrapped her legs around him. He slowly rolled his hips forward, entering her slowly. Sun-Mi gasped and tensed, gritting her teeth as he stretched her open. He stilled, halfway inside her. "Am I hurting you?"

  
"It is a little uncomfortable, but I want to do it! Keep going. I can take it."

  
"I'll go a little more slowly."

  
"A-Actually, I think it'll be easier if you just do it quickly, like ripping off a bandage."

  
Concern creased Jumin's face. "Are you sure?"

  
Sun-Mi nodded. "Give it to me."

  
With one swift thrust, he sheathed himself completely with her, groaning at the sudden, tight heat surrounding him. Sun-Mi shuddered at the movement, tears beading up at the corners of her eyes. Jumin reached down to wipe them away, kissing her gently on the forehead. "I love you."

  
"I love you too."

  
"Is it okay if I start moving now?" Sun-Mi nodded, and Jumin began slowly thrusting into her rhythmically, panting softly. "Oh, baby girl...you're so tight. Shit...does it still hurt?"

  
"A-A little, but not as much as before. It feels good to have you inside me." A gentle sigh passed her lips. He increased the speed of his movements, starting to groan a little. Sun-Mi moaned in return. "It- ah~! It's starting to feel- ohhhh~ so good!"

  
"You like the way my cock feels inside you?"

  
"Y-Yes, daddy!" She squeaked in surprise at herself, blushing bright red as she threw her hands over her mouth.

  
Jumin groaned, balling up the sheets in his fist. He panted loudly. "Be careful about saying things like that! You'll make me cum way too quickly."

  
Sun-Mi looked up at him, whining and moaning. "When it's time, I want you to cum inside me." Jumin's hips bucked harder in response, making her cry out.

  
Encouraged by her cries of pleasure, he sped up more, thrusting hard enough now to make her body move in rhythm with his cock. The lewd slapping of skin on skin became audible, making the whole scenario that much more arousing for both of them. Jumin leaned back, eager to take a good look at his princess. Her eyes widened at the new angle of penetration, clutching the pillows so tightly her knuckles turned white. Her mouth hung, open, but no sound came out, save for her quick panting.

  
He gripped her thighs, pushing her legs back and plunging into her a little more roughly than before. The sound returned, as she began to scream for him, whimpering incoherently. Jumin grinned. "Good?"

  
She nodded, her legs beginning to tremble. "Are you going to come for me, princess?"

  
"H-Harder! P-Please!" she begged him. Jumin was more than happy to oblige. He pounded his cock into her as roughly as he could, digging his fingers into her flesh, slamming against her.

  
"Come for me, baby girl."

  
Sun-Mi's screams echoed off the walls, her hot, wet cunt clenching around him as her body quivered in ecstasy. "J-Jumin! Daddy!" Jumin leaned down, cradling her gently in his arms as she rode out her climax, eyes sparkling. He captured her mouth once again, loving the feeling of her moaning and panting against him.

  
He held her tight, increasing the intensity of his thrusts once again. He was getting closer now, encouraged by Sun-Mi's continued sounds of enjoyment. Jumin growled low in his throat, jamming his cock into her fast and hard. She began to tremble again in euphoria.

  
"Come with me, princess." Jumin bucked his hips sharply until he finally stilled, groaning loudly as he spilled inside her. Sun-Mi whimpered, feeling his cock twitch as he filled her. He laced his fingers through hers, gazing lovingly into her eyes. "Did you like it, baby?"

  
She squeezed his hand. "I loved it."

  
"Wait right here." Jumin pulled out, padding off to the bathroom. He returned with a clean washcloth, parting her legs gently and carefully cleaning their mess. Red stained the white cloth, and his eyes widened in worry. "I-I made you bleed. I was too rough with you." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Sun-Mi."

  
"It's okay. I...liked it when you were rough with me."

  
"Did you? I suppose there is a time for that...but I want to be the kind of man who can be gentle with you too." Jumin grabbed his shirt from the floor and wrapped Sun-Mi in it. He turned off the light and cradled her close as she nestled her face against his chest. "You are a precious treasure to me. You are the only one who can shake me up so much. You are such a problem, in the best sense. I love you, Sun-Mi Dang. You have truly captivated my heart."


	64. True Loves Make Bad Lovers

\---

Truthfully, Jihyun felt disappointed that his and Kat's trip had come to a close. However, Daesun's spring break approached its end, and classes would resume in a few days time, and Kat needed to be there for her students. Besides, RFA's spring party would take place in just over a week, and he needed to assist with the final preparations. Jihyun had offhandedly mentioned the event to Kat, letting her know she was welcome to attend if it tickled her fancy. _Extroverts love parties._ Really, he wanted her to come along as his date, but knowing Kat, she'd get that "deer-in-the-headlights" look and hop the first flight out of Seoul if he revealed his true feelings. For now, it would have to be enough that she'd seemed enthusiastic about the prospect of attending the fete.

  
"Will you be ready to eat breakfast soon?" Kat's voice drew Jihyun back into the present. They'd packed up and hit the road early again, and as the 9:00 hour approached, a small town appeared in the distance. "That's where I lived before," she remarked, pointing toward the horizon.

  
They'd passed through here before, but Kat neglected to mention it then. This place presumably held some painful memory for her; she still hadn't explained why her stay had been so brief. Maybe that one awful secret had taken place here, the thing that made her so distant from everyone. Jihyun didn't mention it, of course, but the myriad questions still itched in the back of his mind as Kat steered into the crowded parking of a small restaurant, the jeep now surrounded by pick-up trucks and livestock trailers. "Oh! They've added on!" she mused, gesturing toward the end of the building where the stucco seemed a little fresher.

  
Kat's eyes widened as Jihyun requested a side of bacon. He noticed her confusion, laughing lightly. "I've already eaten snake, fish, and quail this week," he shrugged. "Might as well keep the meat train rolling." While he did want to take advantage of this opportunity for a rare indulgence, Jihyun also thought it unlikely that a restaurant so popular with plaid shirts and cowboy hats would have meatless options. Kat chuckled in response, not noticing the man that stared at them from across the room until they stepped outside to leave.

  
"Kat? Kat Stolz?"

  
She turned, hearing her name, and froze, recognizing the speaker. "R-Raul?"

  
"I never imagined I'd ever see you again." His tone was not friendly. It sent a chill up Jihyun's spine, making the hair on the back of his neck stand straight.

  
"Kat, who is this man?" he asked, not yet switching to English.

  
"Nobody important, don't worry," she reassured him.

  
"Oh, you speak Chinese now? I swear... you're a different person every time I meet you."

  
"O-ho-kay. First of all, it's Korean-"

  
Raul put on a mocking tone. "'It'S kOrEaN.' Whatever. It doesn't matter."

 

  
Kat matched his tone. "Uh, ApPaReNtLy It DoEs, considering how you're being a shady motherfucker and all..."

  
"Because you up and left me without even saying 'good-bye!' Without even having the _huevos_ to break up with me in person! After I spent a year falling in love with you! I thought you loved me back!"

  
Jihyun's eyes widened as things started to make sense. _So that's what happened._ This man had loved her, and she'd run from him. "And who's this guy? Your latest victim? You jerking him around too?"

  
Kat bristled. "It's _not_ like that."

  
Raul turned to address Jihyun. "She's gonna bail on you too! You know that, right?!"

  
Kat shoved him back, fierce anger flickering in her eyes. "Shut the _fuck_ up! You have _no_ idea what you're taking about!" Her voice burned, vitriolic.

  
"I just..." He balled up his fists, sighing dramatically. "I don't know where I went wrong with you! I would have married you!"

  
"That's _exactly_ the problem!"

  
"Seriously?! Most women would _kill_ for a man that wants to marry them! The problem must be _you_."

  
"I spent a year emphasizing that I didn't want to get married anytime soon!" Kat clenched her teeth, shaking her head. "You know what? I don't have to deal with this! I'm done!" She stomped off toward the jeep, Jihyun following closely behind. Raul continued his ranting, but neither paid him any mind, Kat willfully blocking him out, and Jihyun more focused on how upset Kat appeared to be.

  
She sat in the driver's seat, breathing heavily and gripping the steering wheel tightly for a few minutes. "I'm so sorry," she muttered. "I'm sorry you got pulled into the middle of that mess. You must think I'm crazy."

  
Jihyun shook his head. "I don't think that. You were blindsided by that confrontation. Just...calm down and tell me what happened."

  
Kat wiped away the few tears of frustration that slipped down her freckled cheeks, sniffling. "When I finished up my MFA, I got an offer to come out here to teach. Raul taught out here too, and we started dating. I always said I wasn't ready to get married, but eventually he brought it up anyway. It was too much, too fast, and it freaked me out. So I ran. As far away as I could. All the way to another continent."

  
"The idea of getting married really freaks you out, doesn't it?" Jihyun's voice was gentle.

  
"I don't want to be tied down like that," Kat sighed, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. "Getting married is basically kissing your dreams good-bye. You have to compromise. Small compromises become big compromises. Eventually you become a mere shell of your former self, and ten years down the road, you look back and all you feel is regret. To marry is to settle for a mediocre, boring life. I don't want to spend my life beholden to another person." She made a disgusted noise. "Fuck. That."

  
"It doesn't have to be like that, you know."

  
"Maybe, but it _is_ like that. Trust me, I know from experience," Kat muttered.

  
"You were married." It wasn't a question, but a confirmation.

  
Kat sighed in response, not really able to dodge the topic. "I was. For a short time."

  
Jihyun bit his tongue, hungry for information, but not wanting to offend. Obviously, something had happened in Kat's marriage that had caused her to become to withdrawn, so averse to commitment. Was it as horrific as what had happened between him and Rika? Was it worse? A pit formed in his stomach as he worried over her.

  
Of course, Kat had been rather bold from the very beginning in terms of how she approached Jihyun's trauma. Why shouldn't he be the same way, if he really cared about her as much as he thought he did? "What happened in your marriage to hurt you so badly?" he asked her, finally.

  
"I'd rather not talk about it." Kat switched on the stereo, the sound of the Jimmy Henderson CD drowning out his voice, along with her own inner thoughts.

  
\---

  
Jihyun understood now how Kat had felt in the beginning, when he was still so broken-up over Rika. He wanted to help her, but she was so willful, clinging so stubbornly to her painful past. He couldn't force her to open up about her past, as much as he wanted to make her feel safe enough that she could. _Maybe...if I share first._ He reached for the "power" button on the audio console, silencing the music.

  
"I told you that I don't want to talk about my marriage."

  
"You don't have to talk." Jihyun's voice was so kind, so soft that Kat almost melted into a puddle in the driver's seat, though she couldn't quite understand why the mere sound of his voice would have such a strong effect on her. "Just listen."

  
"You're not gonna lecture me, are you?"

  
He chuckled softly. "No. I want to tell you more about my own past."

  
Kat's gaze on the road softened. "Why would you want to share with me when I'm not willing to share with you?"

  
"Because you make me feel safe. You've been a good friend to me. I'm ready to be completely honest with you about it." He was careful to use the word "friend." The last thing Jihyun needed right now was to blur the line, and risk making Kat feel antsy.

  
Kat suppressed a whimper. Jihyun really was too kind to her. For someone who had been through so much, he still had so much love in his heart. He deserved to receive that kind of love in return. She felt a little guilty for not giving it to him.

  
"Here it is: the whole story. I first met Rika at one of my photography shows. She wanted to buy one of my works, but I was so taken by her that I refused to let her pay. I eventually let her 'pay' me by letting her buy me a cup of coffee. Long story short, we started dating. As you can imagine, it was good at first."

  
"It always is."

  
"Over time, Rika started to change. She became increasingly controlling, and increasingly jealous. She was even jealous of you!"

  
Kat couldn't help laughing. "Of me?!"

  
"Whenever I'd talk about your work, she'd get all huffy. Still, I convinced myself that we were meant to be together. Really, I was blinded. My belief in 'love at first sight' and 'happily-ever-after' convinced me that we were soulmates, and we'd be together forever."

  
"I know how that goes," Kat snorted.

  
"Eventually, I realized that she was sick. She needed professional help. She obliged me for a while, going to her therapy appointments and taking her medication, and she seemed to be getting better. But then she stopped."

 

"Oh, no..."

  
"Rika got worse than before. She was so delusional, she started to think that she was some kind of _savior_ , or something."

  
"She had a god complex?"

  
"Something like that. She wanted to create an ideal world without pain."

  
"Seems like I saw an anime like that once," Kat quipped.

  
"She wanted to get rid of anyone who disagreed with her. I told her that she had gone too far, that she didn't want to create a utopia; she wanted a dictatorship! That was when the physical abuse started. As she gradually lost control of her emotions, she lost control of how she responded to them."

  
Kat swallowed hard, clenching her jaw in anger. How could _anyone_ ever hit Jihyun? You'd have to be a _monster_ to hurt a man like that; a man so full of love, so selfless and giving... She felt sick. _She_ would never treat him like that. If Jihyun were _hers_ , she'd only give him as much love as she could, do whatever it took to make him happy, because that's exactly what he always gave in return. Her grip tightened on the steering wheel.

  
"The crazy thing was, people actually agreed with her! She has followers! A cult! I was the only one who still questioned her! She even started dosing me with drugs to try to make me compliant!"

  
Dumbfounded, Kat pulled over onto the shoulder of the road. She'd had no idea that things had gone so far. Her own past seemed to pale in comparison. "She _drugged_ you?" she asked, mouth dry. She shook her head. "W-What the fuck? Jihyun, I..." she didn't even know what to say, holding her face in her hands.

  
"Of course, we were still fighting a lot, but finally she lost it- well, she'd already lost it, but this was on a whole new level- she purposefully injured my eyes, saying that she didn't want me to look at anyone but her."

  
"Ji..."

  
"That was when I realized that she didn't really love me, that maybe she hadn't for a long time. You don't do something like that to someone you love. I finally left her, but I lied about what had happened. I told people that she'd committed suicide, because I didn't want to ruin their memory of her, because I didn't want them to be hurt in the way that I'd been hurt...because I felt like my pain would be a burden to them."

  
A couple of empathetic tears escaped from Kat's eyes. "You could never be a burden..."

  
Jihyun smiled softly. "I know that now. It's partially because of you. You pushed me to get help, to get better." He unfastened his seatbelt, reaching over to embrace her momentarily. "I'll always be grateful to you for that." Kat closed her eyes, allowing herself to be held. It felt nice, in a way. Her heart swelled, proud of his recovery progress.

  
_I promise to always be good to you._

  
Though she didn't show it, a seed of vengefulness sprouted within her. She _hated_ Rika, _loathed_ her with every fiber of her being. As far as Kat was concerned, Rika was a devil snake, and Kat knew exactly what to do with snakes. She made a solemn vow to return Rika's cruelty ten-fold. _I'll bury you six feet down where even God himself can't find you. Out in the desert, there's no one around to hear you scream._

  
_Karma's a BITCH._


	65. Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Heads up, this chapter does contain brief reference to sexual abuse. Not graphic or explicit, but still worthy of a warning.

\---

The young man sat idly, isolated in his darkened room, the cold blue glow of the multiple computer monitors casting a sickly tint onto the contours of his face. The CPUs hummed and clicked, murmuring to him like familiar friends. His stark, while hair fell softly across his face, and he brushed it away unceremoniously, not wanting the distraction from his work. He momentarily realized that he couldn't quite recall the last time he'd eaten, but it didn't matter to him; he wasn't hungry anyway. It seemed to him that he drifted a bit further from humanity every day, not craving food or sleep. He would eat when She decided he deserved sustenance, and when it was time for rest, he'd let the drugs carry him far away. It never occurred to him that this might be unhealthy; he was always a monster anyhow.

  
He cast his mint gaze once again over the surveillance footage, the gathered images. His responsibilities had increased so much recently, and so quickly. Ever since he brought that first woman into the fold, the number of people he needed to monitor continued to grow. What had originally been six was now...12? The number had doubled! It was his own fault, of course. If only he'd succeeded in bringing that Asano woman here, she wouldn't have gone and involved so many others. Though, it wasn't as if they all needed constant supervision; some subjects were of more _interest_ than others.

  
After all these years, it still irked him, watching as Saeyoung continued on without him, seemingly unbothered. _I apologize...I never realized I was such a_ burden _to you..._ His teeth clenched automatically as Saeyoung laughed and joked with that purple-haired woman to whom he'd allied himself. _How can you just...pretend that none of it ever happened?! Why do_ you _get to be happy?_ He shook his head, calming himself. No matter, he'd be rewarded for his suffering in the end, when he joined the everlasting party at Magenta.

  
On Her orders, he'd been monitoring the activities of RFA's seven members, as well as tangential persons of interest. There seemed to be a lot of them these days: that young woman Her cousin had accompanied home, drunk; the chef; the heiress who'd shacked up with Jumin Han, Saeyoung's woman; Her ex-fiance's interesting new friend... His lips curled into an amused sneer. She'd certainly be interested to hear about this...

  
Truthfully, he'd failed with Yuki Asano. There was no way around it. This failure had been costly to Mint Eye, risking their exposure with no reward. For the time being, he'd been confined here, trusted only with surveillance, gathering intel, laying low. This would be the young man's opportunity to make up for his past blunders, to prove his value to the organization, to regain his seat at the table. He'd make good on this chance, bring Her something useful, and maybe he'd be trusted again. He was Her right-hand man before, but his mistakes had indicated that maybe he wasn't quite good enough for that.

  
"Maybe _that's_ all you're good for," She'd sneered, waving him away. After that he'd been passed around by Her disciples so many times that he eventually lost count. Whatever, it wasn't like it was the first time he'd been involved in a situation like that, and it wouldn't be the last. Group acts were a common occurrence here, part of the "everlasting party." Rampant drug use, dubiously ethical orgies...just a couple of the ways Her disciples could worship their savior.

  
It wouldn't be long now before he reentered Her inner circle. He had new information now, information that he knew She would find very interesting indeed. She always did want to know what Her ex-fiance was up to, and he'd been up to quite a bit recently.

  
Though She could be harsh sometimes, She was his savior, and he was eternally grateful to Her. She was one of the few truly good people in the world, he believed. Some might consider Her an extremist, but couldn't that be said of most people who went on to change the world? She only wanted to create a world free of pain. Everyone else in his life only seemed to cause it. She was different. She actually cared about him, as She did of all of Her followers. After Saeyoung abandoned him, She welcomed him with open arms, accepting him as one of Her very own.

  
It had been difficult in the beginning, when he'd first been taken in by Mint Eye. There was an initiation process, to properly prepare new recruits for full membership in the organization. The first few months took their toll, between the drugs, and the starvation, and the nakedness. In the beginning, he'd been distraught, wondering how Saeyoung could have dumped him in such a place, but in time he came to understand. One had to be purged of their sins, be stripped bare before they could be reborn. Once he'd been brought into the fold, all of his suffering paid off.

  
\---

  
"And what has my beloved been up to? Does he still pine for me? Tell me about him," She implored him as he came before Her to report his progress.

  
His lip curled in delight, eager to share his findings. "I wouldn't use the word 'pining,' per se..."

  
Lines formed on Her forehead. "What are you saying?"

  
"He's been seeing a woman, though I can't yet be certain about the nature of their relationship. It seems as though they might only be friends, but it may only be a matter of time..." His wording was intentionally inflammatory; the juicier he could make this information seem, the more valuable he could make himself.

  
Her eyes narrowed. "Who is she? What is _she_ doing with _him_?"

  
"She's an American, a photographer. She teaches at Daesun University along with Yuki Asano. That's how she was able to meet him."

  
She appeared to remain calm for the time being. "Do their...activities seem to indicate that they might be _dating_?"

  
"They've gone to dinner just the two of them before, but they didn't hold hands, or kiss, or anything that you'd see normal couples doing. Though...they recently took a trip together, apparently for artistic purposes, considering the recent images I've obtained from his personal computer." He passed Her a thick folder. "My full report regarding recent activity, her profile, and those photographs from the trip. I think you'll be interested to see that he possesses nude images of her, presumably taken himself."

  
She flung the folder open, skipping straight to the photographs. She froze, face screwing up in disgust at an image of the other woman splayed out on her back, fully naked and giving bedroom eyes to the camera. Her hands began to shake. "Who...is...this... _whore_?" Her voice dripped with venom. "How _dare_ she... He belongs to _me_!"

  
Her normally-serene exterior crumbled, boiling over with jealousy. "Is...she... _fucking_ him?"

  
"There's no indication of that one way or another. Personally, I don't believe so. Though..." his brow furrowed in confusion. "...don't you generally encourage sexual behavior as means to eliminate pain, to celebrate love?"

  
She shook her head. "Not like that! That is filthy! It's impure! That type of worship is for disciples only! Between them, it's no better than two dogs fucking in the street. He's mine! To think that she'd touch him with her filthy whore hands!"

  
"How can I help? Is there something I can do?"

  
The anger ceased momentarily, and She gazed at him with loving approval. "I'll get to work formulating a plan. For now, you should be rewarded," Her voice was soft again, smooth and kind. "You've done so well!" She stood from her chair and descended the short flight of steps between them, draping one robed arm around his shoulders. "For now, please continue to observe and report to me." She cupped his face gently, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You may join me in my chambers tonight."

  
He grinned, proud to have pleased his savior. Everything would come together soon. RFA would fall, and he would be handsomely rewarded at Magenta.


	66. Case Closed

Sighing loudly, Mina rubbed at her eyes, blinking before returning her gaze to the computer screen in front of her. Despite thoroughly cleaning her glasses several times over the course of the morning, she couldn't quite seem to focus on her work, vision remaining vaguely hazy. It was probably the lack of sleep, really. As soon as Mina returned home in the evening, she'd get right back to work along with Saeyoung, exploring the deep corners of Glam Choi's and Sarah's computers, searching for something, anything to take back to Mr. Han so that he could finally purge the two loathsome women from his life.

  
After several weeks of absence, Sun-Mi had finally returned to work, picking up right where she left off. Mina had already known how her friend had gotten sucked into the Executive Director's personal issues, having been targeted by Glam and Sarah. However, she was very interested to learn that the women's attempt to drive her away had instead driven her right into Jumin's arms. Sun-Mi had a relationship with him now, though they concealed it for the time being, waiting until the Glam and Sarah issue had been resolved. To Mina's surprise, they'd even gone so far as to consummate the relationship, a bit of information that Sun-Mi had implored her to keep to herself. Mina wasn't entirely certain she could succeed.

  
She teased her friend about it relentlessly, of course. After months of Sun-Mi swearing up and down that she _hated_ Mr. Han, she'd shacked up with him, letting him hit it on a daily basis. Some mornings she'd come in with tell-tale marks decorating her neck, and Mina would have to resist the urge to very loudly ask where _those_ came from, young lady. Ultimately, she was happy for her. Sun-Mi had been so convinced before that she'd never find anyone who _really_ loved her, but Mina could tell, when she'd catch the two glancing at one another, that this was for real.

  
_Brrrrrrrrrrrrmmmm._ Mina's phone vibrated loudly on her desk. She grabbed it, seeing that Saeyoung had sent her a text message. "New information just came in. Let me know when you're available to work." This seemed far more interesting than the server upgrades Sun-Mi currently had her researching for C &R. Her curiosity had been piqued now, and Mina was a one-track-mind kind of person. Once something captured her attention, she'd be completely useless for anything else.

  
"I'm not feeling so well. I didn't sleep too much last night. I think I'll work from home for the rest of the day, okay?"

  
"Yeah, that's fine," Sun-Mi murmured in response, too engrossed in her own tasks to be concerned with whether Mina was skipping out on work.

  
Mina packed up her things and hurried out of the office, sending a quick message in response. "Leaving the office now. I'll be 'working from home' for the rest of the day."

  
"Lol."

  
\---

  
The CPU began to hum and whirr as Mina pressed the power button, the tower's lights flickering to life. She settled into the cushy office chair at her battle station, slipping her headset on over her violet tresses and taking a long swig of the energy drink she'd picked up on the way home. Mina signed in to the voice channel, greeted by Saeyoung's typical high-spirited chatter.

  
"So you just skipped out on working the rest of the day, huh? Did you miss me, honey?~"

  
Mina snorted. "Fat chance."

  
"You wound me!" Saeyoung's faux pouting was practically audible over the headset.

  
"Anyway..." It was at that moment that one of Mina's cats decided to start howling at her feet, demanding to be let up into her lap. _MRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHH!_ "Jesus, Chewie! Goddammit!"

  
"Whoa, what's going on over there?"

  
She lifted the Siamese onto her lap, where he began purring contendedly. "One of my cats is being a needy asshole."

  
Saeyoung's voice jumped up a couple of octaves. "You have cats?!"

  
"Yes..."

  
"Oh, I love cats~ Jumin has the cutest kitty, Elizabeth the Third, but he won't let me play with her..."

  
"Well, you can take mine any time you want. I bet Sun-Mi would let you play with her cat too."

  
"So many kitties~ Tell me about her cat." Their attempt at productivity had been successfully derailed.

  
"Well, his name is Choo-Choo, and he's a fat tuxedo cat..."

  
"He sounds delightful."

  
Mina was pretty sure Saeyoung had hearts for eyes at this point. "Well, you'll probably get to meet him at some point, seeing as how Sun-Mi and Mr. Han have shacked up and all-" She slapped her hands over her mouth. She hadn't meant to spill the beans about Sun-Mi's "special" relationship with Mr. Han, but she felt so comfortable talking with Saeyoung that it just kind of slipped out.

  
"Wait...'Shacked up' Does that mean...?"

  
"I-I don't know what you're talking about..." Normally, Mina was a pretty good liar, but this slip-up had her particularly flustered, and her response did more harm than good.

  
"So they ARE!" He burst out laughing. "Oh-ho-ho! Oh, man! This is fantastic! I can't wait to tell everyone in RFA! Jaehee is going to lose her _fucking mind_!"

  
"You are not to tell a single soul," Mina hissed, voice barely above a whisper. "I wasn't even supposed to tell you."

  
"But...what good are secrets if you can't use them to torture your friends?" A sadistic grin colored his voice.

  
"Look, do me this solid and keep your trap shut, and I'll owe you one, okay?" Mina ran her hands through her hair desperately.

  
"Hmm..." Saeyoung paused for a few moments, seemingly mulling it over in his head. "Okay, but you better reward me with something just as fun."

  
"You're a sadistic bastard, you know that?"

  
His voice went eerily deep. "Oh, more than you know."

  
Mina coughed, determined not to let his tone get to her. "Anyway, back on topic: What did you find out?"

  
Saeyoung's voice reclaimed its normal, cheerful, quality. "I looked into the Sugar Round company, like Jumin suggested."

  
"And?"

  
"It's swiftly careening toward bankruptcy. It's a total bust. No wonder Sarah is so desperate to pawn it off on someone else!"

  
"Holy shit," Mina whispered, thoughtfully stroking Chewie's seal-pointed ear. The cogs inside her mind began to grind and click. "Sugar Round used to be owned by Glam Choi's sister... How did Sarah come into possession of it? Unless..."

  
"What are you thinking?"

  
"Start running Glam Choi's financials going back to the time of her sister's death. I'm looking into the sister now."

  
Neither Saeyoung nor Mina said anything for the next hour, the only sound between them the light tapping of computer keys. "Mina?"

  
"Hmm?"

  
"I may have found something. Shortly after the sister's death, there are a lot of transactions for medical services. I looked into the doctors noted, and they're all plastic surgeons, mostly located in countries where cosmetic procedures are largely unregulated."

  
Mina's mouth curled into a grin. "The 'dead' sister appears to have some interesting financial information as well. She was hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, and on the verge of repossession at the time of her death."

  
"What convenient timing..."

  
"Isn't it?"

  
"Oh~ Now _this_ is interesting. Please take a look at this, would you?" Mina's inbox pinged with an incoming message. She opened the attached PDF file, breaking into a wide, toothy smile.

  
"Oh, my~ This _is_ interesting, indeed. I'll need to inform Mr. Han as soon as possible."

  
\---

  
Jumin's hands trailed slowly down Sun-Mi's bare flesh, followed by languid kisses that teasingly made their way further and further south. Her breath caught in her throat, pausing there in curious anticipation. He lingered at her chest, nibbling at the soft, pink tips as his hands came to rest on her hips. A breathy sigh escaped her, hips rolling forward into his palms. Jumin continued his descent, taking the fabric of her panties between his teeth and tugging gently, dragging the delicate garment downward, his pace agonizingly slow.

  
"Tell me what you want, Princess."

  
"I-I want you," she mumbled, face still flushing red after a solid week of long nights spent together in this same bed.

  
"You can be much more greedy than that," he purred, never breaking eye contact. "You can be like a baby to me. I'll do whatever it takes to satisfy you."

  
The color on Sun-Mi's cheeks darkened considerably. "Will you...put your mouth on me?"

  
"Is that what you wish for me to do?"

  
She turned her head to the side, too flustered to make eye contact. "Why do you have to make it so _embarrassing_?"

  
Jumin sat back on his heels, gazing at her, his deep voice rich and silky. "Don't play coy with me, Kitten; I know how much you like this. Now, answer me: Do you want me to eat your pussy?"

  
Sun-Mi gasped sharply at the lewd expression. "Yes...please."

  
"You look so cute when you're worked-up. That pink blush on your freckled cheeks..." He traced a finger across her face as if to emphasize his point.

  
She wrinkled her nose. "I always hated the freckles..."

  
"Really? Why? I love them. I think they look cute on you."

  
"I guess I'll have to take your word for it," she sighed, parting her legs just a little, reminding Jumin of the task at hand.

  
"Not just yet, Princess. I have a modest request as well." He reached over to the drawer of his nightstand, producing a set of wrist restraints and noting the fine quality of the leather. "Only the best for my Kitten."

  
"Ohhh..." A tiny moan escaped her. She might have mentioned once or twice that she wouldn't mind trying this sort of thing, a long as it didn't go too far into extreme bondage territory, and Jumin seemed to have made a mental note of it. Gently, so as not to hurt her, he fastened one cuff onto her left wrist and looped the connective chain through the slatted headboard before tightening the right side. Sun-Mi tugged a little, demonstrating that she could not free herself easily, and that she'd be at his mercy.

  
Slowly, he parted her thighs, resting comfortably on the pillow he'd placed underneath them. He teased her with his fingers for a short while, just to watch her writhe and tremble with need, before quickly and unexpectedly dipping his tongue inside her, making her shudder and moan, grinding herself against his mouth. Jumin withdrew his tongue to flick it against her, slowly at first, then with increasing speed, tracing wet circles. The faster and harder he licked, the more persistent her cries of pleasure became, until she finally whispered the words "Don't stop," before devolving into a quivering, whimpering mess, moaning the name "Jumin" over and over until he pulled back, careful not to overstimulate her.

  
He sat up on his knees, watching as she came down from her high, gazing at him through her hazy afterglow.

  
"Mr. Han, I have some important information for you," a familiar voice spoke behind him. Jumin threw the covers over Sun-Mi, desperate to conceal their private act, and turned to find Mina standing there in the doorway, not looking particularly concerned with the salacious scenario to which she'd borne witness.

  
"Do you always come into people's houses without announcing yourself?" Jumin still wore his trousers from earlier, but he quickly snagged his shirt and slipped it back on.

  
Mina shrugged. "He told me how to get in." _Luciel._

  
Jumin gestured for her to accompany him back out into the living room. "Please wait for me here," he implored Sun-Mi.

  
"It's not like I have much of a choice," she remarked, rattling the cuffs against the headboard.

  
It was his turn to flush red as he hurried Mina outside, eager to change the subject. "You said you have what I requested?"

  
Mina answered him with a wry grin, producing a thick file folder from her bag. "It's all right here, organized for your convenience." Jumin's eyes widened as he briefly glanced through the folder's contents. "I think this should be more than sufficient."

  
"Yes, thank you, and give my thanks to Luciel as well," Jumin answered her absentmindedly as he continued to flip through the documents.

  
"Tell him yourself. Everyone appreciates a sincere 'thank you.'"

  
He closed the folder, looking up at Mina once more. "Miss Park, I have one more favor to ask of you. Would you please accompany Sun-Mi to the RFA party this weekend? I have a plan, but it will require me to arrive a little later, and I don't want her to be left all on her own."

  
Mina nodded. "I'd be happy to do it."

  
"Excellent, and thank you again." Jumin waited until she'd left to step into the kitchen where he'd left his cell phone, unlocking it to place a quick phone call. "Yuki? Yes, it's Jumin. Listen, I know it's a bit late for this, but I need you to contact several potential guests for this weekend's party."


	67. A Not-So-Modest Proposal

\---

By 7:00 in the evening, RFA's spring party was in full swing, over one hundred guests moving about, chatting, eating, gazing over the items available in the silent auction. Mina and Sun-Mi lounged about in a couple of cushy leather chairs on the perimeter of the grand hall, awaiting the next phase of Jumin's plan. Mina held on her lap a plate piled high with food, occasionally offering her companion a chicken wing or a piece of bruscetta, which she repeatedly declined in favor of her own glass of scotch.

  
Sun-Mi's leg bounced frantically and of its own accord, and she went back and forth between wringing her hands and smoothing the blue-violet taffeta of her evening gown. Her nerves had gone through the roof, not knowing what Jumin planned to do tonight. The last thing she wanted was for this fine event to come unglued due to some ugly outburst. He'd already told her that his father would be attending tonight, along with Glam Choi and Sarah, and Sun-Mi certainly hoped that one of them wouldn't try to start an altercation with her, not in front of all of these important people. She took another sip of her scotch, hand shaking as she lifted the glass to her lips.

  
Mina could sense her nervousness, and placed her plate on a nearby table and moved to sit next to her friend, placing a hand on her knee. "Hey, everything is going to be fine, okay?"

  
"I know, I know... I just can't help being anxious, you know?"

  
Mina nodded. "Just try to stay calm, and mind your business. Don't pay any mind to what's going on around you. Just worry about yourself."

  
A large commotion was audible behind them, and Mina turned to see Chairman Han entering the party hall amidst whispers and stares, Glam Choi on his arm and Sarah flanking them both. A horde of photographers and gossip column "reporters" trailed behind, snapping photos and helping themselves to the refreshments. Sun-Mi's heart leapt into her throat as she craned her neck around to see them. She whipped her head back around so that they wouldn't see her face, though she did think it unlikely that Sarah would start something with her, lest the word get out that Jumin had been kissing someone else. She breathed a heavy sigh, tightening her grip on the glass in her hands.

  
"Just ignore them. They're not worth your time," Mina whispered, trying to calm her.

  
Sarah walked confidently, holding her head high. She couldn't wait to be seen on Jumin's arm tonight, once he arrived. Apparently he'd finally come to his senses, having the RFA coordinator extend an invitation to her. She'd treated herself to a new dress for the evening, short, tight, and low-cut; she wanted to look her best for her first official outing as his fiancee. By tomorrow, every man in the city would be drooling over her, and every woman would hate her. Just how Sarah liked things.

  
She'd leaked the news of their engagement to the press, and they'd pounced exactly as planned, dying to know more about the woman who'd managed to melt Jumin Han's heart of stone. It seemed that the woman from before really had just been a passing fancy, and as she predicted, he'd come running back to Sarah as soon as he got the chance. Now the whole world would know _exactly_ who she was.

  
All eyes followed her as she moved through the room, along with snide whispers from less-attractive woman and low whistles from their husbands. Maybe they thought she looked like a cheap slut, but she didn't care. Jumin (and his money) would be hers soon enough anyway. Tonight, Sarah felt like a celebrity, finally being treated like the princess she was. Jumin had come around, the woman before had disappeared, and Chairman Han had agreed to purchase Sugar Round. Everything seemed to finally be falling into place for her and for Glam. Nothing could stop them now.

  
Her thoughts were dispelled, however, when all of the reporters began chattering at once, camera shutters clicking incessantly. "C&R's Jumin Han has arrived!" The press swarmed around him, hounding him with myriad questions and shoving microphones into his face, desperate for a sound byte. Jumin waved them away, slowly moving forward to pause in the center of the room. He cleared his throat to speak, and a hush fell over the hall.

  
"Good evening, everyone. First, I would like to thank you all for attending this event. This is a very special night." Jumin paused swallowing hard, his mouth dry. "I'm sure by now you've all been privy to the many rumors circulating about my engagement to a young woman named Sarah."

  
Sarah squeaked, balling her hands up excitedly. Jumin continued. "Tonight, I would like to formally announce my engagement."

  
Sun-Mi's stomach hit the floor. _No...No way..._ After all this, was Jumin really going to kick her to the curb? For _Sarah_? Had he used her, only to throw her away for the woman his father had chosen? _Jumin wouldn't do that, would he?_ "W-What?" she whispered, voice barely audible.

  
Mina squeezed her arm reassuringly. "He's got a plan, love. Just trust in him. It's going to be okay." She rested her hands on Sun-Mi's shoulders, looking deep into her eyes. "He loves you. I promise, he is going to do the right thing."

  
"I want everyone to know the truth about Sarah." Jumin crossed over to Sarah, who clasped her hands together under her chin, grinning broadly. "I want you all to know that Sarah is not who she says she is." The smile fell from the young woman's face. "She has been dishonest with me, with my father, and with everyone who has read the news of our engagement."

  
"Ju-"

  
"The truth is, Sarah is Glam Choi's younger sister." A gasp rippled through the room, and the reporters raised their voices once more, a thousand inquiries bouncing off the great marble walls. Jumin gestured for them to quiet themselves, and continued his explanation. "Sarah Choi has a bad habit of spending money that she does not have. She racked up so much debt that she was being threatened by collectors, and her company, Sugar Round, wasn't making enough money to pay off her expenses."

  
As if on cue, Jaehee began passing around copies of a dossier, detailing Sarah's financial woes, along with evidence of her relation to Glam Choi. "She turned to her sister for help, and Glam Choi paid for her sister to have extensive plastic surgery, and to have false identification issued for her. Glam Choi faked her own sister's death in order to alleviate her financial problems."

  
Glam and Sarah stared at one another, mouths agape. Chairman Han looked like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing, no sound coming out. "Still, the issue of Sugar Round remained. Its finances worsened, and it would eventually go bankrupt. Glam and Sarah needed to sell the company, and they needed to do so fast. This is where my father comes in. Glam Choi knew that my father can be weak toward women, and she used that to her advantage, seducing him and slowly talking him into arranging a marriage between Sarah and me, and then into buying Sugar Round. Everything you see here, with those two women, has been a ploy to get rid of their money problems."

  
Contented, Jumin crossed his arms, smiling smugly at Glam and Sarah. Chairman Han grabbed Glam by the arm. "Is this true?!"

  
"D-Darling! You know I love you!" Her voice wasn't convincing.

  
"Take these women away! I want them out of my sight immediately!"

  
Mina sidled up in between Glam and Sarah, clutching their arms tightly.

  
"Wh-Who are you?" Sarah asked, her lip curling.

  
Mina's lips curled into a malicious grin. "Your worst nightmare, butthorn."

  
The Chairman called after Glam and Sarah as they were dragged away. "You'll be hearing from my attorney!" He waded through the sea of reporters to stand next to his son. "Jumin, I'm sorry to have put you through all of that. You were right not to trust those women."

  
A reporter near the front of the crowd piped up. "Executive Director! You said that you would be formally announcing your engagement tonight. Do you still intend to marry Sarah after everything she and Glam Choi have put your family through?"

  
Jumin smiled gently. "I do not." His eyes met Sun-Mi's across the room, and he slowly began to make his way over to her as time seemed to stop. Her eyes widened in realization, then softened with affection for him. He stood in front of her, lifting her hand up to lay a delicate kiss upon it, before turning to address the room once more. "I want you all to meet Miss Sun-Mi Dang. This is the woman I love."

  
The entire party watched with bated breath and Jumin knelt down, reaching into his jacket. Yuki whispered under her breath. "I fuckin' knew it."

  
Jumin produced a small leather box, opening it to reveal a dazzling ring, its band embedded with tiny diamonds that framed the massive gemstone in the middle. The chandeliers' light danced upon it, casting little shimmering spots over his face. "Sun-Mi, I love you more than you could ever know, more than I could ever express. You've opened up a whole new world to me, one that I never knew I could be a part of. Please, do me the honor of letting me be your life companion."

  
Sun-Mi's heart swelled almost to the point of bursting. So quickly had the seeds of love between them burst into full bloom, settling into something permanent, irreversible, infinite. Her affection for Jumin ran over, escaping her eyes in fat tears of joy that rolled unfettered down her cheeks. This perfect moment etched itself into her heart. _I want to become one with you._ "You've made me the happiest woman in the world. My answer is yes."

  
Jumin slid the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit. The party erupted into applause as he stood and embraced his new fiancee, sweeping her off her feet and twirling her around. Jumin cupped Sun-Mi's face in his hands, kissing her deeply and passionately, prompting every couple in the room to do the same. He leaned in close, cradling her against his chest and whispering so that only she could hear.

  
"I want to go far with you."


	68. All the Single Ladies

\---

Jaehee breathed a huge sigh of relief. When Jumin first informed her of his super-secret-master-plan to get rid of Glam and Sarah once and for all, she'd been skeptical. Exposing two _very_ irrational women in such a public setting had _a lot_ of potential to go bottoms-up quickly should one single detail be out of place. However, Luciel had thankfully done his due diligence in digging up their dirty secrets, and in the end, everything had turned out okay. Finally he could return to work and catch up on all the things he had neglected while his head was in the clouds worrying over Glam Choi and Sarah and Sun-Mi Dang, who'd somehow gotten dragged into the whole thing.

  
Though, the drama wasn't the only thing she'd gotten dragged into, it seemed. Of course the suspicions were there, after all of Sun-Mi and Jumin's friendliness in the office, and their daily lunches together, but now it was all out in the public: C&R's Jumin Han was in love, and ready to finally take the plunge. They made a cute couple, in Jaehee's opinion. Since he'd gotten friendly with Sun-Mi, his mood had improved, and he didn't force so much work on Jaehee, even urging her to take a well-deserved vacation. She didn't want to think about it, but his new relationship probably _did_ help with all of that built-up tension. _Ugh._ Still, she couldn't believe that somehow, the Ice Prince had managed to find a soulmate before her. Jaehee wasn't jealous, of course; that would be silly! She just found it...odd.

  
Presently, Jumin was caught up with his new fiancee, and Jaehee was officially off-duty for the evening. She sighed contentedly and grinned, heading for the open bar. Her eye traveled over to a familiar face, dressed in a finely tailored pink frock and floral pumps, receiving a crystal glass of Chardonnay with that familiar, dazzling smile. She hadn't seen that face since... _since we kissed in my kitchen and then you ran out the door like the apartment was on fire._ "Anna?"

  
Anna turned, mouth curling into a genuine smile as her eyes met Jaehee's. She actually seemed like she'd missed her during the time they'd been apart. "Jaehee!" She spoke the name with such sweetness, sweetness echoed in those eyes, the color of sea glass. "Some show, huh?" She smirked, motioning for Jaehee to follow her over to a small seating area. "Squirrelly boy found his squirrel queen?"

  
Jaehee snorted. "And I'm so glad he did! He's all gooey and happy now."

  
"So I'm guessing the workplace environment has improved since those two cozied up?"

  
"Let's just say I'm trying to figure out the optimal time to take my _two uninterrupted weeks of vacation_." She grinned smugly.

  
Anna raised her eyebrows. "Look at you! Please tell me you're getting better hours too? Maybe a raise?"

  
"Maybe soon..."

  
"You could do better than that job, you know? If you could do any job in the world, what would you want to do?" Anna cocked her head, waiting for a response.

  
Jaehee screwed up her face, thinking hard. "I think...maybe I'd want to open a cafe. I've still been researching coffee. I think it would be fun!"

  
"Then why don't you do it?"

 

It had never once occurred to Jaehee to just up and do something. She'd always been worried about risk, and about taking the safe path. "I guess...I'm just afraid. Opening a business is risky. What if it fails?"

  
"Everyone fails at something eventually. It's okay to fail."

  
Jaehee shifted uncomfortably. "But...I want to be the kind of person that my parents would be proud of."

  
"Would be?"

  
"They, uh... They died when I was young." She pursed her lips, casting her gaze downward. "I've always worked hard, to be the daughter that they'd want me to be."

  
They were quiet for a few minutes. Anna's mouth went dry. All this time, Jaehee had been living with this, moving forward day to day to day, constantly projecting the outward appearance that everything was perfectly fine and normal. Maybe it was. If she'd lost her parents young, she'd likely grown used to this sort of life as the average. Still, this was an extreme amount of pressure to put on oneself. "I think...if they could see you now, they would be so proud of you."

  
Jaehee's heart swelled, her lips parting slightly. "Do you really think so?" Anna nodded, and Jaehee's breath caught in her throat. A chill ran down her spine, every synapse crackling as she found herself wanting another kiss like before.

  
\---

  
Mina wandered about the great hall aimlessly, not really paying attention to whether she kept out of the restricted areas. If questioned, she could always play dumb, acting as if she were a simple, silly girl who had gotten lost on the way to the bathroom. This sort of event didn't particularly interest her; really, she was more of a homebody, preferring the company of her cats or a close friend over that of a room filled with strangers. To be fair, she'd enjoyed a brief, but friendly conversation with a young man called "Tom," apparently a friend of Saeyoung's, but now Mina had grown bored once again, meandering about in pursuit of something to capture her fancy for a short while.

  
Normally, in this type of situation, she'd stick to Sun-Mi's side like glue. She had way more experience with this kind of soiree, and could make sure Mina stayed out of trouble and minded her manners. However, Sun-Mi was busy with her man, acting all cutesy and gooey like you'd expect from a newly-engaged couple. Mina almost missed the fireworks altogether, busy dragging Glam and Sarah from the event hall. She'd barely made it back inside in time to see the Executive Director getting down on one knee. _I wonder if Sun-Mi will ask me to be her Maid of Honor..._ She giggled to herself, joyful for this exciting development in her friend's life.

  
She gazed up at a gaudy crystal chandelier, sighing. This sure was a swanky party; not really something she could ever see herself getting used to. Mina looked about, eyeing the other guests in their evening gowns and formal suits, suddenly feeling _very_ out-of-place. She hadn't exactly been certain of what she should wear to this sort of thing, but now she felt certain that she wasn't quite up-to-standard. Her silk bustier dress probably showed too much cleavage, and maybe checkerboard-print slip-on sneakers weren't the best shoe choice she could have made, but at least no one had treated her rudely for it. Mina made a mental note to be more careful next time, should she be invited to another RFA event in the future.

  
Having found nothing to interest her on the lower level of the hall, Mina began her ascent of the grand staircase to the second level, which hosted multiple small balconies, careful to mind the skirt of her dress, lest she give everyone a free show. She moved through the circular space, doing her best not to leer at the couples who'd found their way up here seeking privacy. A familiar figure leaned over the central balcony, staring off into the night, his curly red hair a dead giveaway. _Saeyoung._

  
He did clean up nice, Mina concluded. Dressed in red-black-and-white finery, his lean build appeared much more pronounced in his well-tailored formalwear than in that loose hoodie that he normally wore. Mina liked that hoodie, though. It suited him more than this, and it did look rather comfortable. Regardless, she felt glad to see a familiar face in the crowd. Saeyoung sensed her presence, turning to look at her with an expression she'd never seen before on that face.

  
Saeyoung had a sadness in his eyes, that perhaps had always been there, that Mina simply hadn't bothered to notice before. The hot knife of melancholy amber cut through her, beckoning her closer, begging her for a place to rest.

  
At the last minute, however, his eyebrows lifted, and his face settled into a pleasant grin. Though, it was too late to fool Mina. At the most, she'd simply play along. She grinned in return. "Enjoying the party?" he asked her.

  
She chose to be honest. "Actually, this isn't exactly my kind of scene."

  
"Me neither." Saeyoung produced a small tablet from his pocket. "Wanna cause a little mayhem?"

  
"Always."

  
Crouching behind one of the balcony's pillar's, Saeyoung quickly took control of the DJ's laptop. "So, 'Never Gonna Give You Up' or 'What's New Pussycat?'"

  
"Hmm...tough choice..." Mina mused, pretending to be stumped with a difficult decision. "Rickrolling wasn't ever really that funny, so go with 'Pussycat.'"

  
"Twenty-one times in a row," Saeyoung concluded, expression curling into a malicious grin.

  
"With one 'It's Not Unusual' thrown in." Mina laughed. She almost felt inclined to lean her head over on Saeyoung's shoulder, but she quickly stopped herself, not thinking it entirely appropriate. Truthfully, she liked being a team with him, whether they were in the business of tracking down bad guys, or ruining a party with a dumb prank. Now, it seemed that her feelings had started to grow beyond that. She didn't mind, though. This was new, and different, and interesting, and fun. If this ever grew into something mutual, that would be lovely, but for now, Mina felt content to just stay right here by Saeyoung's side, getting up to whatever mischief found them.

  
\---

  
Chae-Young nervously tugged at the slinky fabric of her dress, wondering if maybe the slit up the side went a little too high. Everyone else here seemed so _classy_ compared to her. She'd originally selected this gown in hopes of drawing Yoosung's eye (he looked _so cute_ when he got flustered and nervous), but now she worried that perhaps her choice was inappropriate. This party made her feel like a fish out of water. A mess like Chae-Young didn't belong at such an elegant affair.

  
She took full advantage of the open bar, her head already starting to swim after several strong cocktails. A waiter went past her with a tray of champagne glasses, and she snagged one, downing its contents in just a few quick sips. Yoosung had left her side in pursuit of snacks, and now Chae-Young sat awkwardly on the perimeter of the room, drinking excessively and watching the world pass her by.

  
_How did I even end up in this situation, anyway?_ The answer was obvious of course. She was Yoosung's plus-one for the event. Chae-Young's lips tweaked upward into a wolfish smirk. He'd been so jumpy when inviting her. _"I-It's not like a...date or anything! I just thought you'd want to come for the food and drinks!"_ He followed his offer with a nervous laugh, and Chae-Young had had to bite her tongue to keep from grabbing him roughly by the wrist and dragging him into her bedroom.

  
Surely he now regretted his decision to invite her, considering her obvious discomfort. Chae-Young tightened her grip on her glass. It wasn't her intention to ruin the evening for him, and he'd been a good sport about the whole thing, doing whatever he could to make sure she enjoyed herself. _I don't deserve to have someone like that in my life._

  
Yoosung returned then with a plate of hors d'eourves, and what appeared to be another cocktail for Chae-Young. She held up her hands. "I should probably stop for tonight before I make a fool of myself," she laughed hoarsely.

  
He nodded. "This is just soda. I think I know you well enough to be able to tell when you're had enough!" He gave a grin that made Chae-Young's heart leap. He sat down next to her.

  
"Wanna play a game?"

  
"What kind of game?" He turned to look at her with interest.

  
"One I just made up called 'What Kind of Underwear Does that Person Wear'."

  
Yoosung laughed, though he turned a bit pink. "That's a pretty messed-up game, Chae."

  
"I know." She pointed discreetly to a middle-aged woman nearby, who was just beginning to go grey. "What about her?"

  
His blush deepened. "I don't know. I uh, I don't know much about women's underwear..."

  
"Oh my, so innocent~ Like, do you think she prefers regular bikini style? Thongs? Boyshorts? Granny panties?"

  
"I-I think I have to go with the regular kind. Like what someone's mom would wear. W-What about him?" Yoosung gestured to a portly gentleman, with a pronounced moustache.

  
"Banana hammock. No doubt about it."

  
Yoosung snorted. "You were right. This is kind of fun."

  
Chae-Young felt just drunk enough to ask her next question. "What about me? What kind do you think I wear?"

  
He very nearly choked on the stuffed mushroom he'd just put into his mouth, face going as red as a stop sign. "I-I couldn't say!" he coughed, heart racing.

  
"Relax, I'm messing with you."

  
"That's not funny, Chae!" Yoosung whined indignantly.

  
"No, but your reaction was hilarious."

  
He pouted for a moment before turning back to Chae-Young. "You wanna get out of here?"

  
The sweet, savory, and salty fare of WcDonald's suited both of them better anyway. Chae-Young dipped the greasy, golden fries into soft-serve (miraculously, the machine worked on this particular evening) as Yoosung recounted some of the finer points of LOLOL. She only half-listened, lost in those violet eyes. She absentmindedly brushed her foot against his leg, making him stumble over his words for a moment. Chae-Young had half a mind to slowly move higher and higher, until she kneaded Yoosung between his thighs, making him bite his lip to avoid crying out in the middle of the restaurant, but she thought better of it.

  
"Sorry I dragged you out of there," she spoke suddenly, closing her eyes.

  
Yoosung just smiled at her. "Don't be sorry. I'm not much for fancy parties either. I'd much rather hang out with you and do stuff like this."

  
Chae-Young felt her cheeks grow just faintly pink. _Yoosung...You make me so, so happy._


	69. Absolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [[[[GAYHEE INTENSIFIES]]]]
> 
> Content Warning for sex things.

"Stupid stiletto heels," Jaehee mumbled, turning the lock on her front door before kicking the offending pumps halfway across the living room. As usual, the RFA party had proven to be a roaring success, not that she'd been particularly worried. With two previous parties solidly under her belt, Yuki proved that she was more than capable of organizing the events. After the public spectacle that was the public crucifixion of Glam and Sarah Choi, and Jumin's subsequent marriage proposal, Jaehee had been more than free to enjoy the evening as she pleased, indulging in glass after glass of wine as she chatted the night away with Anna on one of the event hall's upstairs balconies, enjoying the pleasantly warm spring evening.

  
She'd spent the last few hours bathed in a warm, dreamy sort of feeling. Jaehee's spirit was light and floaty in a way that she hadn't experienced in years. Normally, her responsibilities weighed her down as she dragged herself through each day, but after tonight, something had her rather optimistic. It could very well be the feelings of freedom associated with a reduced workload, with her impending vacation, but Jaehee suspected that the evening of pleasant company had something to do with it too. She felt all warm and fuzzy inside, as if her soul were glowing.

  
Anna was the kind of person that everyone needed as a friend, she concluded. After drawing out Jaehee's secret dream of cafe ownership, she'd listened patiently as Jaehee babbled on about various drink recipes and business models, offering sage advice based upon her own experience in the restaurant industry, giving suggestions here and there of how this wild daydream could become a practical reality. Jaehee had avoided talking about this with anyone else, afraid that she'd be laughed off as silly and unrealistic, but it felt like Anna actually believed in this goal, like she believed in Jaehee's potential. "It's only foolhardy if you don't do your due diligence with your planning. Knowing you, you'd be thorough in creating your business model, responsible in your budgeting, and your employees would be well-trained. I think your office skills would translate well to business management. Even with all the risks, I don't think it's ill-advised. In the end, it's better to give your best effort and fail than to not try at all."

  
Disappointment crashed over Jaehee as the evening came to a close. Time had simply flown by up on the balcony, and she regretted having to part ways. She could have stayed there forever, eyes drawn to Anna's mouth every time she spoke. The rich, glossy pink she wore on her lips made them seem extra kissable tonight, though the implications of such an observation made Jaehee's heart jump into her throat. Still, the thought remained, joined by others as the night wore on. Soon, her eyes wandered beyond Anna's face: down to her chest, to her legs. Several lewd images appeared in Jaehee's mind; what her friend's breasts would feel like in her hands, what her face would look like when you gazed up from your position between her legs. She quickly shook these ideas off, relegating them back into the far corners of her mind.

  
Was it the alcohol? Intoxication often resulted in people doing things that they wouldn't do sober. The cheesy butterfly tattoo on Jaehee's lower back could testify to that. _I made some questionable decisions while I was in college. You'd think I'd be more mature by now._ She sighed, suddenly remembering that alcohol merely reduced a person's inhibitions, rather than making them do things. The inclination had to already be there. Couldn't it make you have bizarre thoughts, though? Perhaps, but it couldn't dictate the nature of your reaction to them.

  
If those thoughts got you all hot and bothered, that was another issue entirely.

  
It was already late, now. Jaehee concluded that she should go to bed now, try and sleep this off. Everything would be back to normal in the morning, save for the possible hangover. She quickly readied herself and crawled under the covers, not even bothering to put on her pajamas after shimmying out of her cocktail dress. She nestled her face into her pillow, attempting to relax. Unfortunately, her brain was just too wired. The thoughts continued their bawdy parade through her mind, suggesting that maybe she should _do something_ about this newfound desire. _No. Absolutely not._ Such an act would be entirely inappropriate, not to mention sinful! Her thoughts already bordered dangerously on lust, try as she did to contain them.

  
Another twenty minutes passed, with Jaehee no closer to a good night's sleep. Questioningly she slipped her hand into her panties, groaning in irritation as she detected the tell-tale wetness there. She could feel a pulse between her legs; Jaehee needed relief, and yet, she felt as though its pursuit would be wrong. She should just close her eyes and endure this momentary discomfort. Sleep would find her eventually. She rolled over, trying to think of anything that would cause the arousal to wane: Jumin's stupid cat, fur all over her apartment, the tasks that awaited her when she returned to the office on Monday morning, Anna holding her from behind, hands cupping Jaehee's chest and squeezing gently... _Wait, no!_

  
She huffed in annoyance. It seemed as though she had no choice. _Fine, then._ If this was what Jaehee had to do in order to get a proper night's sleep, she'd power through it, and then put it out of her mind forever. She paused, biting her lip, fingertips lingering on the elastic of her underwear, toying with the scalloped trim nervously. Jaehee felt as through she teetered on the cusp of something significant, something she was powerless to understand, much less control. To allow this to take place would be to play with fire. Not wanting to delay the inevitable any further, she unceremoniously slid her hand below the soft cotton fabric.

  
Jaehee's fingers explored tentatively at first, brushing gently over the small, sparse patch of hair before descending lower to graze against the velvety folds between her thighs, already slick with desire. Her knuckles pressed against the inner gusset of her garment, and she bit her lip in surprise at how soaked the fabric had already become. She carefully parted the folds, investigating the space in between, almost too hot to touch. _Almost._ A single finger dipped inside at first, exploring the deep, hot, wet opening. Jaehee tensed in response to her own touch, body tightening around her digit.

  
She couldn't remember ever having gotten this _excited_ before, on the few occasions she'd been with men, or during the rare event that she felt like doing this same solitary act. There would be fluids, sure, but not like this, that soaked through her panties, coated her fingers, dampened her inner thighs! She felt physically hotter too, feverish with need as a second finger joined the first, making Jaehee tremble in anticipation.

  
Recklessly, she withdrew the two digits to massage herself rapidly, seeking the most efficient path to orgasm. Jaehee let Anna back into the forefront of her mind, allowing her thoughts to wander about as they pleased. They grew decadent rather quickly. She imagined the sensation of Anna's tongue rolling against her, rather than her own fingertips. Her hips twitched forward occasionally, when she'd consider the low whisper of Anna's voice, telling Jaehee that she tasted _so good_ , the sensation of Anna's fingers as they pressed gently into the flesh of Jaehee's thighs, the combined heat of Anna's mouth against Jaehee's wanton body.

  
Wanting to savor this a bit, she pulled her fingers away, plunging them back inside herself and settling into a steady rhythm of thrusting them back and forth. Jaehee couldn't help writhing a bit under her ministrations, grabbing tightly onto the nearest pillow. Her moans remained soft for now, a little sigh or whimper just barely audible in the darkness. Gradually she increased the intensity with which she fucked herself, drawing greedier gasps each time her fingertips slammed against the sensitive region inside. Jaehee's hips rolled forward with greater frequency now, legs beginning to tremble at the idea of her and Anna's limbs tangled around one another, fluids mixing as they ground their hips together roughly.

  
The one hand clutching the pillow wandered south to join the other, massaging as the other continued its rapid pulsing. Heat swelled between Jaehee's thighs and her back arched sharply as she found her release. Her eyes squeezed shut and a shuddering moan escaped her, repeating over and over as she quivered in ecstasy. Her screams of delight echoed off the walls, most certainly audible to the neighbors. Jaehee didn't care. She'd never experienced such overwhelming pleasure as she did now, slamming her fingers into herself, fantasizing wildly about another woman. Bliss beginning to wane, she drew her hands out from under the covers, admiring the way her fluid-coated fingers glistened in the moonlight as her heart rate began to steady.

  
Guilt washed over her. She shouldn't have thought of her friend in that way; it was exceedingly improper. What would Anna think if she knew?! The way she'd jerked away from their kiss before more than indicated her disinterest in _that_ kind of relationship. Not that Jaehee intended to pursue that sort of thing anyway, as the Catholic Church very clearly indicated its stance on same-sex relations. Sure, the new Pope seemed to be more lenient about it, but the Church still held the staunch belief that it was sinful. What she'd just done directly defied its teachings.

  
Moreover, what did this indicate about Jaehee? Sure, she could claim that this was a one-time, alcohol-fueled thing for which she'd surely atone, but that wasn't _exactly_ true, now was it? If she were to dig down deep, to be completely honest with herself, she'd enjoyed it. That is, it'd by-far exceeded any other sexual experience from Jaehee's past, even the ones with a partner, even her occasional Zen-related fantasies, even that one weird dream where both he _and_ Yuki took her to bed (though that one started to make more sense now). _Am I... Am I_ gay _?_

  
\---

  
The cathedral's towering architecture seemed to loom higher today than it normally did. Jaehee inhaled deeply, attempting to calm her racing heart. _It's just confession. Nothing I haven't done dozens of times before._ She stepped inside and began her trip down the seemingly-endless hallway, trying to ignore the disappointed eyes of the marble saints and blessed virgin that seemed to leer at her, reading the sins written on Jaehee's face. Of course the priest wouldn't judge her; that wasn't his role, and he'd probably heard the same sort of confession hundreds of times before. He'd merely assign her penance, maybe offer a few words of advice, and give the words of absolution. Jaehee knew that she should be ashamed for her sin, but no more so than anyone else.

  
She stepped into the familiar wooden booth, drawing the curtain across to conceal herself from the outside world. Jaehee made the sign of the cross over herself, stumbling over her words, speaking with such nervousness that the priest on the other side probably thought she was about to confess to murder. "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. My last confession was one week ago."

  
"Confess your sins to me, my child," the kind, grandfatherly voice answered her. _Father Peter._

  
Jaehee's voice wavered. "I ah...I have had lustful feelings...toward another woman. S-So that's two sins, I think. Adultery and homosexuality."

  
"Are you married?" Father Peter asked her.

  
"No, I'm not married."

  
"If you have no spouse to betray, you have not committed adultery, I believe. Some would say that you are committing adultery against your future spouse, but we cannot live our lives based on theoreticals. Besides, these feelings of desire were given to us by our Heavenly Father. They are natural."

  
"But only if I feel them toward men, correct?"

  
Jaehee could hear the old priest sigh. "It's a tricky situation. The time period in which the Bible was written is infinitely different from our own. When Jesus died for our sins, he also wiped away the ways of old. There are many acts that were considered sinful then, that we do not consider so now, such as wearing clothing made from two different fibers, or eating pork. The world continues to change now." He paused a moment, mulling over his thoughts. "Romantic love is a gift from God. It is a reminder of His love for us. As long as your feelings are positive, I do not think they can be wrong."

  
"I want to live a righteous life within the Church, Father. I want to become the kind of person that my parents would be proud of."

  
"Your commitment to walking this path is what it most important. Pray daily, participate in the sacraments, follow the teachings of the Father."

  
"Will you still assign penance?" Jaehee asked, tilting her head.

  
"You have told me of no sins for which you must atone. I think what you should do now is meditate on your feelings. Pray about them. Try to understand them. They may be a part of His plan for your life. Go in peace, my child. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good."

  
"For His mercy endures forever."


	70. I'm Your Fool

\---

Teddy flopped over onto his back, presenting his fluffy belly to be petted, thumping his thick tail against the mattress. Kat lazily draped an arm across him, more eager to cuddle the retriever close for a nap than to give him pets. The time neared 3:00 in the afternoon, but she'd scarcely moved from this spot all day, once to go to the bathroom, and once to go to the kitchen. Admittedly, she was rather hungover from her first RFA party the night before (it seemed that she couldn't drink an entire bottle of champagne by herself any longer), but the couple of Accedrine, the quart of water, and the GG's Kombucha (Triad flavor, Kat's signature hangover cure) had her feeling right as rain by noon. Still, it was a Saturday, and these freshly-washed sheets made it _far_ too comfortable for her to get up.

  
Finally, Goober padded into the bedroom doorway, whining to be let outside. Kat rolled out of bed and pushed her thick mane of hair out of her face, sliding the glass door open and moving to the side to allow for the sudden torrent of dogs that now wanted into the backyard. Well, she was out of bed now, might as well put herself to good use. A solid week had passed since she and Jihyun arrived back in Seoul, but Kat had put in exactly zero hours developing the rolls upon rolls of film she'd taken during the trip. _Maybe I should get going on that._ After exchanging her sleepwear for actual clothing and letting the dogs back inside ( _Jeez, guys, in or out? Make up your minds!_ ) she headed into the spare room, tying her hair back as she went.

  
Kat switched on the red safelight, bathing the room in a familiar rosy hue, and cleared a space on the counter to work. She rifled through her drawers of supplies, finally locating the large, curved glass she used to examine negatives, Taking a seat next to the light, she popped open the first 35-millimeter canister, carefully handling the tiny roll of images. She gazed at them through the magnifier, examining one series of nearly identical images after another, searching for the finest example from each set. This one was too blurry. A fly got too close to the lens in this shot, obscuring the view. This one didn't get the same passing cloud as the others. This one was just perfect.

  
She paused for a moment as a familiar face caught her eye. Between two sets of landscapes was a single candid she'd taken of Jihyun without his knowledge. He'd just finished snapping a photo of his own, and had lowered his camera to gaze off into the distance, a soft, contented smile resting on his face. Kat had promptly forgotten about its existence, but she felt glad to have found it again. It interested her more than all of the others, and she found herself smiling as she looked at it, deciding that this would be the first image to be developed, maybe with a slight sepia overlay? She could very well make an entire series out of the images she'd taken of Jihyun over time. It didn't sound like a bad idea when she considered it; his portraits were some of the nicest photographs she had.

  
Looking at this picture made her feel...happy. She considered him a close friend now, treasuring the time they spent together. There was something easy about it. They just clicked in a way that was rare; Jihyun's softness, combined with her own laid-back, if excitable nature... Sometimes it was like they'd known one another all their lives. Their trip had been one for the books. Kat wanted to travel together again soon. Jihyun made a good adventure partner, and it seemed like he also enjoyed their time together. If anything, he'd certainly gotten some interesting photos. She briefly wondered if he'd spent any time working on _those_ photos since their return. Neither of them mentioned it the previous night, and Kat almost had to question what Jihyun felt when he looked at those pictures. She flushed red from the tip of her nose to her ears, shaking her head to purge the indecent thought from her brain.

  
She couldn't help thinking back to their conversation from before, when he finally shared everything with her of his past. Kat's own failed marriage paled in comparison to the dark, twisted psychological torture to which Jihyun had been subjected. She'd been distracted for the entire trip home, feeling physically ill at the vile images that danced through her mind. Of course all of these things had taken place before she and Jihyun knew one another, and yet, she still felt sick that she was powerless to have prevented them. Reflecting on the extensive abuse, it was no wonder he'd been so reluctant at first to begin the arduous process of recovery.

  
At first, Kat's anger burned hot and high as Jihyun recounted his experiences. Then, the sickness came as her heart ached with sympathy. Finally, that affliction settled into a steady, low-burning rage, the sort of vexation that never really died out. She maintained the opinion that Rika really was the most vile sort of person; the world would be a better place if she were dead. A deep hatred made a home for itself in Kat's heart; normally she swore that she'd only had room for love and light, but on this one occasion, she was willing to let the darkness in.

  
It concerned her how much Rika seemed to still have a hold on Jihyun. Once in a while he'd say something along the lines of "Rika used to..." or "When Rika and I were together..." and it would make Kat's skin crawl. Of course, it wasn't that simple, shaking off the choke-hold of one's abuser. Still, it worried her deeply. It couldn't be that he still had _feelings_ for that devil-snake, could it? Kat's stomach turned over. The mere idea repulsed her. The possibility loomed over her like a dark cloud.

  
She merely worried for Jihyun's mental health, of course. Maintaining affection for Rika could only hinder his recovery in the long run. The more he romanticized his past with her, the most difficult it would be to leave her in the past, where she needed to stay. Kat couldn't stand the idea of Jihyun remaining enamored with _her_ , after all of his hard work, or, god forbid, the idea of him _returning_ to that environment, convinced that it would be better _this_ time, that _she'd_ be better.

  
_It never gets better._

  
Maybe it _had_ been good at first. It always was, in the very beginning, but, predictably, it had inevitably soured over time as Rika refused to be treated for her illness. And she'd taken it out on Jihyun. Of course, no one deserved to be abused by their partner, but he was so...kind, so gentle. How could anyone do such a thing to that kind of person? Jihyun brightened a room just by being in it, so full of love for others. If he were Kat's partner, she'd never want to do anything to hurt him. She'd just want to make him happy. She'd do _anything_ to make him happy.

  
_You didn't deserve him! Not like..._ Kat threw her hand over her mouth as she flushed bright red again, catching herself in a moment of what seemed a lot like jealousy. Maybe her concerns weren't entirely selfless after all. Maybe the idea of Jihyun loving Rika disturbed her so deeply because she wanted him to love _her_ instead. _This is bad._ Jihyun was just starting to move on, and already Kat wanted him for herself. _I'm being too selfish._ Though, it wasn't like realizing that she had _feelings_ meant that she had to act on them. _Of course I wouldn't!_ Still, her heart fluttered every time she pictured that broad, genuine smile, the way Jihyun's cyan hair fell softly over one eye, the gentleness of his voice as he directed her in assuming a pose...

  
_Fuck._


	71. Absolutely, 100%, Totally Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuki's always the mom friend.

Dizzy wriggled in Anna's grasp, snorting as he tried to free himself. He'd had quite enough cuddles for now, thank you very much. He flopped his head backward to look at her, giving her the "please let me down now" expression. Anna didn't notice, too caught up in her own thoughts to pay much attention to whether the little pug still wanted affection. Frustration clouded her mind, preventing her from tending to much else. Lately she seemed to operate on auto-pilot, going through the motions of her daily life as her conscious mind remained consumed with other things.

  
Jaehee dominated her thoughts; from her ambitions to the feelings Anna still harbored toward her, she didn't give Anna a moment's peace save for when she was able to snag a few hours of sleep. She did have feelings for Jaehee; after several long months of stringent denial, she was finally able to admit this to herself, but this acknowledgment still gave her no indication of how she should use this information moving forward. Anna had feelings; she just didn't know what to do with them. It was pretty obvious that Jaehee preferred men, but that didn't help dispel Anna's desires in the slightest.

  
On the contrary, they continued to grow stronger. Anna felt foolish for still allowing herself to feel this way despite the fact that nothing would ever come from it. And yet...she pined for the off-chance that maybe, just _maybe_ , the other woman at least had _curiosities_ that Anna could indulge. The odds were low, but she still contented herself with this modicum of hope, constantly looking for some sign that might indicate even a slight interest in trying a romance with another woman, in giving it a _taste_ , so to speak.

  
Yuki had known Jaehee longer than Anna. Maybe she would have a better idea of her, ahem, _inclinations_. She might could tell Anna if Jaehee had ever mentioned even a passing interest in trying it with a girl. Anna reached for her cell phone, finally allowing Dizzy to wiggle free and leap onto the floor, snuffling as he waddled away indignantly. She tapped Yuki's name and held the device up to her ear, waiting patiently as the low tone trilled on the other end. Finally Yuki answered, just as the phone was about to transfer to voicemail. "Hey, sorry. Almost missed you."

  
"Are you busy right now?" Anna asked her, scratching at the couch's upholstery absentmindedly.

  
"No, not right now. I was putting some chicken in to marinate for a while, and I had to rinse the salmonella off of my hands before I could answer."

  
"So you can talk for a few?"

  
"Sure. What's on your mind?" Anna could hear the concern apparent in Yuki's voice.

  
"Well, here's the thing... I really like this girl, but I'm pretty sure she's straight. I thought maybe you would know more about her situation than I do."

  
"Why, is it someone that I know?"

  
"Yes, you know her."

  
Yuki squeaked in excitement. "Who is it?! Tell me! Tell me!"

  
Anna braced for her over-excited reaction. "It's Jaehee."

  
"Ohhhhh, that makes so much sense..." Yuki mused, thinking out loud. "The two of you do seem to have gotten pretty friendly."

  
"Yeah, but the problem is, I don't think she's interested in women at all. I was wondering if maybe she ever said something in passing that would indicate that she'd be open to the idea."

  
"Hmm..." Yuki paused for a moment, thinking. "I don't think she's ever said anything about it to me, but I'm not going to say it's impossible. I know for certain that she does like men, but I couldn't tell you if she likes men _exclusively_. I've known people who didn't realize their bisexuality for a long time, until they finally met this one special person that brought it out. It's a difficult situation, but you shouldn't give up hope!"

  
"I just...I don't know what I should do now." Anna leaned her face against her hand, rubbing the temple of her head.

  
Yuki was quiet for a few moments. "If your feelings are that strong, I think you should tell Jaehee how you feel."

  
"But...I don't want to ruin the friendship if she doesn't have any kind of special feelings for me..."

  
"Oh, don't be a goddamn little weenie about it!" Yuki chided. "You can't go through life being afraid of that kind of thing. What if she _does_ have special feelings for you? Do you really want to risk missing out on that!?" A passionate fire had been lit inside Yuki. "Be brave, my friend!"

  
Anna snorted, smiling and feeling a little more relaxed. Yuki's encouragement improved her mood drastically, making her more optimistic about the whole situation. Maybe everything would turn out fine after all. As much as the risky idea of confessing her feelings made her anxious, Yuki was right that it was better to try and fail than to not try at all. Anna had given Jaehee the same advice just a couple of days before. "You're right. I need to think about the best way to approach it, but I should tell her soon. Maybe I'll invite her over later this week and we can talk about it."

  
"You do have a lot to think about. Just try to stay positive. Good luck!"

  
\---

  
Yuki most definitely did not expect the phone to ring again just ten minutes later. It surprised her even more to hear Jaehee's flustered voice on the other end, asking her for advice. _Oh no._ Yuki's first instinct was to panic, thinking that maybe Anna had jumped the gun and messily confessed her feelings already, confusing Jaehee in the process. Yuki tried to remain calm, keeping her voice even.

"What's on your mind?"

  
"I think... I-I think I'm having feelings for another woman."

  
Yuki nearly spit out the tea she'd just finished steeping. "You _WHAT_ now?!"

  
"I know, I know. It sounds silly! I'd always assumed that I was straight, but I just... _click_ with her, you know, and the desire is there..."

  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. It doesn't sound silly. I was just explaining earlier that sometimes you don't realize these kinds of things about yourself until you get older. I have to say, though, I'm surprised."

  
"It surprised me too." Jaehee couldn't help smiling into the phone. "But then we kissed, and-"

  
"Who'd you kiss?!"

  
"It's Anna." She frowned. "The only problem is, I don't think she'd interested in having a relationship with a woman."

  
_SHE'S GAY!_ "Wait, you've kissed her, and you don't think she likes women." Of course, Yuki could just tell Jaehee the truth, but right now, messing with her a little seemed like a lot more fun.

  
"Yes, but she pulled away and freaked and ran out. I just assumed that she didn't like it."

  
"Did you consider that maybe it freaked her out because she assumed that you're straight, and she felt like she was being inappropriate, and she felt guilty for kissing you?" Yuki attempted another sip of tea, raising her eyebrows.

  
"Well, no, but..."

  
"Jaehee."

  
"Yes? What is it?"

  
"You do know that Anna's a lesbian, right?"

  
"R-Really?!" Jaehee's lips curled into a delighted smile, her heart surging with joy.

  
"She sure is. She's absolutely, 100%, totally gay."

  
"Maybe...I should tell her how I feel." Jaehee held her hand over her mouth, biting her lip to keep from giggling like a giddy schoolgirl.

  
"I think you should." _This literally could not be more perfect._

  
"I'm going to do it!"

  
"Good for you! We'll be cheering for you the whole time!" Yuki gave a thumbs-up, even though she knew Jaehee couldn't see.


	72. Like We Both Don't Need This

\---

HTML-coded text scrolled neatly up one of six screens, a tranquil, calming green against the black background. Seven sighed contentedly resting comfortably in his cushy leather computer chair as he gradually completed his most recent assignment from the agency. Vanderwood had been by earlier with this week's ration of chips, soda, and his latest attempt to get Seven to eat "real" food: a stack of carefully prepped meals that would inevitably succumb to freezer burn as they sat eternally in the depths of the kitchen's stainless-steel unit. As if the 1337 hacker 707 EXTREME would ever eat _kale_. Seven chuckled softly to himself at the absurd thought. He popped open a fresh bag of Honey Buddha Chips, their familiar salty-sweet aroma tickling his nose as he dug out a couple of intact crisps, holding them momentarily between his lips like a duck bill as he typed another line of code.

  
Before Seven could shove the chips into his mouth, or do anything silly like take a quick selfie and send it to the RFA group chat, the computer grunted in error, preventing him from entering any more code, distracting him from his precious snack. Seven turned back to the computer, brow furrowing in confusion as he leaned out of his chair to address the issue. _Space bar._ Nothing. _Esc._ Nothing. _Ctrl+Alt+Del._ Nothing. He flipped his keyboard over, shaking it to dislodge any possible crumbs or dust that might interfere with its operation, but, as he expected, nothing came out; the keyboard was as immaculate as ever. Furthermore, its connections seemed to be perfectly intact, indicating that this error might be more complex than it first appeared.

  
_What's the conventional wisdom, again? Try turning it off and back on again?_ It was worth a shot. Seven laid his hand on the mouse, only to find that it didn't work either. He wasn't about to restart the unit via a forced shut-down; he'd lose all of his work. Of course, he saved his progress multiple times each hour, but still, Seven worked quickly! He'd still lose a great deal of code if he just shut the unit off. There had to be a practical solution...

  
Before he could arrive at any sort of conclusion, his coding began a rapid descent down the screen, as if someone were scrolling through it. All at once, files began to open all across the six monitors, each containing some manner of RFA information: guests lists, bank statements, Rika's old medical documents, given to Seven by V, surveillance footage from Yuki's time in the apartment, the current addresses of RFA's members, Seven's own birth certificate opened on the largest monitor immediately in front of him, a solemn reminder. _If plural births, twin, triplet, or other: Twin._ This was the last thing he was permitted to see before the screens went completely red, the image of a skull pictured in the center.

  
Clearly, someone had managed to gain access Seven's machine, to his hard drive. This time, it wasn't a playful break-in from Mina, but rather some other, more malevolent figure. _The hacker from before?_ His stomach dropped, and he scrambled out of his chair, stumbling over to the internet router. Seven ripped its power cord from the outlet, effectively chopping down the internet. Hopefully, this would deter the intruder for the time being, temporarily blocking their only pathway into his computer. Color draining from his face, he padded back over to the machine, only mildly relieved to find that he could once again make use of his keyboard and mouse, allowing him to save his work and shut down the unit entirely. _Better safe than sorry._

  
Seven stared at the black screens for a few moments that ticked by at the pace of dripping molasses before his hands finally began to shake as reality set in. Even the reinforcements he'd installed after Mina's initial shenanigans couldn't deter this hacker. If he couldn't even protect his own computer files, how could he be trusted to keep everyone in RFA safe?! Seven was supposed to be the best! He bit his lip, digging his teeth in harder and harder until he tasted blood. For ten seconds, he let the fear in. _One._ The trembling of his hands began to travel up his arms. _Two._ His eyes went wide, unblinking. _Three._ He drew in a sharp breath, sounding almost like a gasp of terror. _Four._ His knees were shaking. _Five._ He doubted his own abilities. _Six._ His breath quickened. _Seven._ His heart raced. _Eight._ A series of grotesque images flashed through his mind, of what would happen to his fellow RFA members if he couldn't protect them. _Nine._ The one he'd failed to protect before. _Ten._ His need for absolute control.

  
The time for fear had passed. Seven's hands ceased their shaking, and his breathing and heart rate settled. Now was the time to plot his next move. First, he needed to reconnect to the internet while maintaining control of his computer, and force this intruder out, metaphorically slamming the door behind them. Obviously, he needed to upgrade his firewall once more to prevent further infiltration. Once all of that was done, he'd need to trace the source of the connection, to go and shut this down once and for all. If he could track down this hacker, Vanderwood would be more than happy to take things from there. After all, he had a vested interest in Seven's privacy. Though, these tasks daunted him, and he briefly wondered if he was up to the challenge.

  
Mina's words from before rang in his ears. _"If you ever need anything..."_ It was in Seven's best interest to resolve this as quickly as possible. Maybe in this case, two heads would be better than one. He didn't normally like to drag others into this kind of situation, but this time, RFA's security might depend on just that. Before he could change his mind, Seven dug his phone from his hoodie's deep pocket, finding Mina's phone number in his contacts and giving her a quick ring.

  
She picked up rather quickly, seeming a little bit surprised to hear from him. "Saeyoung?"

  
"Mina, listen." Her name felt perpetually strange on his tongue. "Something's happened."

  
"What's going on?" she asked desperately, voice colored with concern.

  
"Someone...I don't know...my firewall! All of my files!"

  
"Whoa, slow your roll a little. Try to calm down and tell me what's happening. Did...did someone hack into your computer?" Mina's mouth went dry as she spoke.

  
"Yes! I don't know how...I need...I need your help," Seven muttered, defeated.

  
Mina's voice softened. "Send me your address and sit tight. I'll be there."

  
"No, no. I can't risk that information getting out. I'll come pick you up." He paused. "You might want to pack a bag. I don't know for sure how long it will take to fix this."

  
\---

  
Without any sort of idea of how long she'd have to gather her things, Mina dragged a weekend bag out of her closet and began frantically throwing things into it: clean clothes, shampoo, she'd have to bring the cats, of course... She squatted down in front of the sink in her bathroom, digging around for a toiletry bag. The box of condoms she kept stored there for those rare occasions stared her in the face. She flushed a little, snickering awkwardly at the lewd thought that creeped into her mind. Saeyoung _had_ implied that she'd be staying overnight...Was there maybe a possibility that they'd wind up doing more than just working on computers?

  
Mina shook the idea from her mind. She should be ashamed to be thinking about this kind of thing when Saeyoung had sounded so frantic and upset on the phone. Sex was probably the furthest thing from his mind right now. Mina didn't even know if he was interested in her in that way! She was blowing things _way_ out of proportion, but she had a tendency to do that sometimes, to get one little thought in her mind that just took off and ran all over. Chewie rubbed up against her, reminding her of the task at hand, and she closed the cabinet doors, standing stiffly and heading for the kitchen, where she kept the cats' food.

  
Not too long after Mina finished gathering her things- one small weekend bag, her cats' things, and a large case filled with laptops and other computer paraphernalia- she heard a sharp knock at the front door. She tried not to think about how mildly creepy it was that Saeyoung knew her address without having to ask for it, though it didn't come as any great surprise. He was wearing that same hoodie again, along with a dour expression that suggested that his mood was less than spectacular. Then again, anyone would be a little put-out if their private computer was infiltrated by some unknown hacker. It was probably even worse for Saeyoung, more insulting to his intelligence and his skills. As a similarly computer-minded individual, Mina had to sympathize.

  
Despite his difficult situation, Saeyoung did his best to maintain a pleasant air toward Mina, seemingly grateful for her help. "Let me help you with your things. I assume your cats will need to come along with us."

  
"Yes, they tend to get a little bitchy if they have to go hungry," Mina joked, attempting to lighten the mood a little.

  
Saeyoung smirked at her comment, about as jovial a response as either of them could expect at the moment, and hung the weekend bag over his shoulder, picking up the cat carrier with his free hand. One of the felines yowled at the sudden jostling, earning a look of surprise that made Mina chuckle softly as she grabbed the tote bag of cat care supplies and the case of technological items. "Reinforcements," she explained, gesturing toward it.

  
"I hate that I have to involve you in all of this," Saeyoung sighed as he slid into the driver's seat of the sleek sports cat. He frowned, lips pursed in frustration, brow furrowed as he focused on the road ahead. "I should be able to deal with this kind of problem on my own, but no, I've got to go and put someone else at risk, because I'm the front-runner for Fuck-Up of the Year, apparently." His voice was low, and more solemn than Mina had ever heard it. She'd never seen him act depressed like this, so unironically self-deprecating.

  
"Hey, don't even worry about it. Everybody needs to ask for help sometimes. It doesn't make you a fuck-up or anything." Mina cocked her head. "It's good that you asked for assistance as soon as you realized you needed it, rather than letting things get out of hand."

  
"I guess so," Saeyoung muttered in response.

  
"Besides, I owe you one, remember!" Mina offered a broad grin.

  
Her lighthearted nature seemed to put him at ease, somewhat deflating the metaphorical dark cloud, and he smiled softly, the anxious frustration clouding his amber eyes beginning to clear away.

  
\---

  
"I'm sorry you'll have to sleep in here on the couch," Seven apologized, setting down a couple of bags in the main living room. "I never have guests, so I don't have a spare bedroom."

  
"It's fine. I can sleep pretty much anywhere." Mina paused a moment, looking at the large, L-shaped couch. "I bet if I pushed the two halves together, I could sort of make a bed... Well, more of a couch fort really, but that only makes it sound like more fun."

  
Seven couldn't help smiling at Mina's playful nature. She skirted the edge of the law as much as he did, maybe even more so sometimes, but she still managed to retain so much excitement and joy. He shrugged. "Do whatever you want. Make yourself comfortable."

  
"Ahh...I probably shouldn't play around too much. We've got important work to do. Maybe once we secure your system, I can work on getting comfy. I have to admit, though, and this probably makes me sound like an asshole, but I'm a little surprised by how clean it is here." She gazed around at the immaculate room, another result of Vanderwood's earlier visit.

  
"I've got a maid that comes every week to clean." Seven pulled out his cell phone to display his photo of "Mary Vanderwood the Third." "She's cute, right?"

  
Mina cocked an eyebrow. "Saeyoung, that's just a picture of you in a dress; unless you've got a twin sister that I don't know about." She paused, grinning. "You do make a cute maid, though," she giggled, making Seven go a bit red in the face. "You never struck me as the cross-dressing type, but I guess you learn something new every day."

  
"What, you think it's weird?" he asked her indignantly.

  
"Of course not. We've all got our kinks." Mina crouched down to let the cats out of their carrier. They yawned and stretched out their chocolate-brown front legs, having enjoyed a short nap on the ride over.

  
"Oh? Care to share?"

  
"Hmm..." Mina flopped onto the couch, crossing one leg over the other, rubbing her chin. "Where to begin..." She tossed her head back before meeting Seven's eye, giving a wry grin. "If I tell you one of mine, will you answer a question of mine regarding your cross-play?"

  
"I guess so."

  
Mina turned a little pink, mouth curling into a lopsided grin. "Anal play. Giving or receiving; I like both."

  
Seven raised his eyebrows, trying to suppress the thought of her wearing a strap-on and pounding him into the mattress. "What question did you have?" he coughed.

  
"Do you still wear men's underwear underneath, or do you go whole-hog and wear panties?"

  
_Oh, fuck._ He hadn't expected that question, and his face went as red as his hair. "Panties, stockings, you name it," he murmured, embarrassed. "Even lingerie sometimes." This revelation hung hot and heavy in the air, equally erotic to both parties. Luckily, one of Mina's cats chose this moment to climb up the back of Seven's hoodie, dispelling the heady atmosphere.

  
"WELP," Mina laughed, plucking the animal off of him, "I'd say it's about time we got to work." Seven nodded sagely, his serious demeanor from before returning as he watched her unload several notebook computers, carefully arranging them along with a couple of other, clearly hand-built, machines. She scribbled a few numbers on a scrap of paper. "Here are the IPs for these devices. Add me to your network so that I can access your firewall."

  
"What, you can't get into it yourself?" he sneered teasingly.

  
Mina blinked. "I can, but I don't really think you need another blow to your pride right now." She really didn't pull any punches. _Ouch._ "Besides, it's quicker if you just add me yourself. I'm guessing you've changed your algorithm since last time I hacked in."

  
As a safety precaution, Seven kept all of his confidential files on external drives. That forethought did him well now, as he unplugged the devices. The unknown intruder would inevitably return as Seven's computer went back online, but they wouldn't find anything of value, just some of Seven's cosplay photos, some interesting news articles, maybe a couple of screengrabs of online order confirmations from TrueEgg. He made the reconnections and gave Mina the access she needed, heading back into the main room to offer her a snack.

  
She sat cross-legged on the floor, her high-top sneakers arranged neatly nearby. She'd either located the carton of Honey Buddha bags in the kitchen, or she'd brought her own, absently dipping each chip into a jar of hazelnut spread before popping it into her mouth, followed by a swig of RedBear. A thumping bass was just barely audible through her oversized headphones, lulling her into a trance as her eyes scanned the screen, already filling with lines of code. Mina seemed aware of Seven's presence, but she didn't turn to look at him, far too focused on the task at hand.

  
Leaving her be, he returned to his own workstation, a light smile of admiration on his lips. _She's really something else._

  
\---

  
Time passed. It could have been mere minutes, or it could have been hours; Mina didn't really notice that kind of thing when she zeroed in on a task. All she knew was, it was a little too warm in Saeyoung's bunker for jeans right now. She saved her progress before reaching into her weekend bag to dig out a pair of shorts. As she shimmied out of her pants, she checked the progress of one of her peripheral machines. While she worked on one computer, another began a phishing mission against Saeyoung's mysterious foe, who appeared to be a little more old-school, if their use of binary was any indication.

  
While Mina herself preferred more advanced and efficient languages, she was well-versed in the classics too. Strangely, she could make out a couple of coherent words. _Mint Eye._ Maybe Saeyoung could tell her what they meant. She tugged her "I WANT TO BELIEVE" t-shirt down over her shorts and padded over to his workspace, motioning for him to remove his big, orange headphones. "Hey, does the phrase 'Mint Eye' mean anything to you?"

  
Saeyoung froze. "So it's finally come to this," he muttered darkly.

  
"What is it?"

  
"Mint Eye is the organization targeting RFA. It's headed by Rika, one of RFA's founders," he explained.

  
Mina scrunched up her face in confusion. "Why would she want to target an organization she helped create?"

  
"Long story short, RFA isn't fulfilling it's original purpose, which was to provide funds for Mint Eye. As you've seen, we're not doing that." Saeyoung stood from his chair. "Let me come see what you've found." He followed Mina into the main room, squatting down in front of the laptop. As he did so, long strings of binary began to scroll across the screen.

  
_How could you, Saeyoung?_

  
_How could you abandon me?_

  
_Do you even remember..._

  
That was all either of them read before Saeyoung collapsed onto the floor, hyperventilating, eyes wide. He began to mumble incoherently, trembling all over. Mina grabbed him by the shoulders, attempting to pull him from this sudden panic attack. "Saeyoung! Saeyoung! Stay with me!"

  
His mouth formed a firm line, anxious tears beginning to streak down his face. "Saeyoung, please!" Mina pleaded with him. "Who is Saeran Choi?!"


	73. Curiosity Killed the Kat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not TOTALLY happy with this chapter; I've had the worst writer's block!
> 
> Rika is a yandere.

The distant sun began to droop behind the horizon, casting a hazy array of colors across the sky. Finally, after an hour-long meeting with an apathetic student whose halfhearted attendance caused his grades to suffer, Kat was finally able to head home, ready to prepare a quick dinner and settle into her couch in front of the television. After a particularly grueling day at work, she wanted nothing more than to spend the evening camped out in front of the boob tube, absentmindedly shoveling rosemary crackers and fresh mozzarella into her face. The dogs would be happy to have her home as well; they'd all somehow make room for themselves on the couch with her, except for Beauregard, of course, who'd inevitably wind up staring at all of them from his regular chair, dumb droopy eyes full of envy even as he refused to move from his spot.

  
Kat finally arrived at her destination, pulling to a stop in front of her house and parking the car, sighing contentedly. She cocked her head, noticing a box that had been delivered to the front porch. _Funny..._ she didn't remember ordering anything online recently. Maybe a friend or family member had sent her a surprise care package, or perhaps a neighbor's online purchase had been delivered here by mistake. Kat picked up the small box, seeing that it did indeed bear her name. _No return address?_

  
This struck her as suspicious, but she was certain that there had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation. She placed the box on the kitchen counter, going to let her dogs outside before returning to check its contents. Kat hesitated for a moment, feeling like something about this wasn't quite right. _Curiosity killed the Kat?_ No, she was probably just being paranoid. She ripped off the packing tape, met by an odd smell as soon as the container was unsealed. Still, she tentatively lifted the box's flaps, gasping and stumbling back a few feet as she saw what had been placed inside.

  
She'd first seen the gray-black fur of the rodent, matted with the animal's blood, then the long, hairless tail. _A rat?!_ Myriad questions overruling her disgust, Kat peered back inside, lip curling. Whoever had slain this animal also used it as a vehicle for a nasty message; the word "whore" had been carved into its flesh.

  
Her blood ran cold, a harsh shiver dancing throughout her body before it morphed into a trembling of the hands. Kat stood frozen in fear, a thousand questions and answers coursing through her mind. What could she _possibly_ have done to make someone want to send this kind of message, to hurl this kind of insult. She hadn't been on a date in over a year; she wasn't seeing anyone, or _sleeping_ with anyone. She closest she got to a male companion now was her friendship with Jihyun! _...oh..._

  
Could...Rika possibly have something to do with this? How could she even know of Kat's existence, or that she'd gotten close with Rika's ex-fiance?! Perhaps Kat had underestimated her before, misjudged the extent of her resources. Was...she being monitored? If so, to what extent? Did Rika have someone following her? _Had someone been in her house?!_ Kat's footsteps fell heavy as she padded into the living room, unable to spend another minute in the kitchen with the rat. _That's one less Nisdey-Pixel movie that I can enjoy..._ She'd never imagined that Rika would ever find out about her, much less send some kind of grotesque threat. Kat sank into one of the couches, staring off into space. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt real, visceral fear.

  
Finally, her thoughts ceased their swirling enough that Kat could dig her phone out of her bag, hands still shaking. The last thing she wanted was to put Rika back in the forefront of Jihyun's mind, but she didn't exactly have a choice. If Kat was in danger, there was a possibility that he was too. _Besides_ , she thought selfishly, _he should know what kind of person she still is._ Kat buried her face in her free hand, waiting for Jihyun to answer. He picked up after several rings, his voice cheerful as he greeted her. Kat hated to ruin it. "Ji...something's happened. Can you come over?"

  
\---

  
Jihyun stared, unblinking, at the rodent corpse still quarantined inside its box. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to throw up, and then punch the person responsible square in the face. Kat still refused to come back into the kitchen, unable to even be in the same room with the rat. When she'd called Jihyun, panicked, it'd been clear that something very bad had happened, but he never could have predicted this. He'd assumed that something had happened to one of the dogs, or that something had been stolen from her house. Then again, who would predict that a dead animal would be anonymously delivered to a person's house? And who would _dare_ address Kat in such vulgar terms?! Someone held a deep vendetta against her, and that person knew where she lived, knew her schedule well enough that they could have this odious message dropped off while she was away, thus keeping their identity concealed.

  
It wasn't safe for her here; not anymore...but what could Jihyun do about it? He couldn't very well hide her out at his own home; only one person could be responsible for this, and that person most definitely knew where he resided as well. "Rika did this," he muttered darkly, returning to the living room.

  
Kat nodded. "I figured that was a possibility, but I didn't want to assume," she agreed, her voice grim. "Do you think that she thinks..." She didn't finish the sentence, the mere idea too indecent to suggest. To speak it would be to acknowledge the possibility, altering the nature of their relationship ever so subtly, but irreversibly.

  
"She always _was_ the jealous type. I think this is a threat, a warning."

  
"A 'stay away from my man'?"

  
"Precisely."

  
Kat slumped over, burying her face in her hands. She sat, perfectly still and quiet, for a few moments before Jihyun noticed that her shoulders had begun to quiver slightly. Even now, in grave danger, she strived to conceal her emotions. Jihyun knew better than that. "I understand if you're feeling afraid right now."

  
Face flushed in embarrassment, Kat lifted her face from her hands and gazed up at him, her bright blue eyes blurry. Even now, her freckled cheeks stained with tears, her beauty still struck him, affection and desire only deepening their roots. Jihyun dragged a chair over to sit in front of her, his parted knees touching the couch where she sat. Gently he pulled her forward, embracing her, her face resting against his chest. One hand tangled itself in her hair, its broad palm resting gently on her scalp. "I'm going to keep you safe," he whispered against her wild curls, his voice hoarse.

  
Kat felt herself melting against him, despite her shock and distress. Her heart raced and she could feel heat rising in her face that she prayed Jihyun wouldn't notice. Normally, she wouldn't permit this sort of scenario to take place (it was far too intimate to be appropriate), but her selfish enjoyment of the moment prevented her from doing anything to stop this. She inhaled deeply, finding that familiar lavender, mingling with...sage? For the moment, everything- Rika, the rat threat, Kat's eternal inner conflict regarding the kind and very handsome man in front of her- melted away entirely; she could stay here like this forever.

  
"You can't stay here," Jihyun murmured. "This house... It's compromised. Don't worry. I'll keep you safe."

  
\---

  
"If it really is Rika behind this, you might be in danger too," Kat said, thinking aloud.

  
Jihyun groaned, knowing that she was probably right. He'd already deduced that he couldn't hide Kat in his home, but, wrapped up in his worry, he hadn't considered that he might be under surveillance as well. "You're probably right..." They needed to go somewhere with tight security, somewhere like... An idea bursting through the cloud of distress, Jihyun dug his phone out of his pocket and tapped Jumin's name on the "favorites" list.

  
The other man answered quickly, surprised to hear from him. While their friendship was indeed beginning to return, the healing had only just begun; they didn't generally speak on the phone much, preferring to meet in person to make up for lost time. As calmly as he could, Jihyun began to explain the situation, from how Kat had found the unfortunate package, to their shared theory that Rika was behind everything. "Is there any way...that we could come and stay at the penthouse until this is resolved." Jumin had already done so much for Jihyun; he hated to ask for more, but it wasn't just about him now. He was willing to swallow his pride if it meant Kat would be safe.

  
"Yes, of course," Jumin assured him. "If Rika has begun threatening people close to you, it is imperative that RFA do whatever it can to keep them out of harm's way. Considering Rika's instability, it's not much of a stretch to think that she might make good on her threats. I'll have two rooms prepared in the meantime."

  
\---

  
Jihyun watched as Kat silently packed some things into a duffel bag. He refused to leave her side for now; maybe once they reached the safety of the penthouse he'd be more willing to give her some space. She'd probably prefer that, as she didn't really seem too social right now, in contrast to her typical extroverted nature. She hadn't said anything else since Jihyun had made the arrangements for them to stay with Jumin, save for the couple of phone calls she'd made to friends, finding temporary placement for her dogs. Yuki and Zen had agreed to take Goober, Daisy, and Beauregard, and one of the Daesun graduate students would be caring for Teddy. The rat had been thoroughly bagged and moved to the dumpster out back after Jihyun sent some pictures to Luciel as further evidence against Rika.

  
Eventually, the familiar town car arrived out front to escort Jihyun and Kat safely downtown. She remained silent throughout the car ride, staring out the window, mind occupied with the unfortunate events that had transpired earlier. It was nighttime now, the moon only faintly illuminating her profile in the darkness of the backseat.

  
_I'm going to keep you safe. I love you._


	74. A Little Bit Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is just straight-up porn. But it's not straight porn, ifyaknowwhaddamean.
> 
> Jaehee is...you know... _a friend of the Babadook._

\---

Jaehee really, really hoped that this hare-brained plan of hers wouldn't go completely off the rails. Luckily, the basement-level women's restroom at C&R provided her with a few moments of complete privacy as she changed her clothes. She unzipped the tote bag she'd brought with her to the office today, removing the sheer silk stockings, lacy garter belt, and matching bra that would replace the plain undergarments and control-top pantyhose she currently wore. Jaehee wanted to give the appearance that she'd come straight from the office, not bothering to change into anything special, and then...surprise! She switched out her garments, depositing the less-interesting set into the bag. Jaehee paused for a moment, frowning at the strange sensation that came along with not wearing any panties. She prayed that today wouldn't be the day that some creep tried to take an upskirt picture on the train. Maybe if she were lucky, she'd manage to find a seat.

  
Exiting the stall, she gazed into the mirror, making certain that her lace-adorned bra wasn't too obvious through her white button-up. Of course, she'd keep her jacket on until she arrived at Anna's apartment, but Jaehee wanted the visibility to be _just_ subtle enough that she could chalk it up to having been in a rush that morning when getting dressed. Really, she'd meticulously planned out how she would go about confessing her feelings for the other woman and then, if she were lucky, how she would go about getting her into bed. Anna had unexpectedly invited her over for dinner, providing Jaehee with the perfect opportunity. Feeling a bit optimistic, she'd already done a little bit of, ahem, _research_ on how things worked, not wanting to look entirely clueless should things go exactly as planned. Still, she felt certain that Anna would still have to show her the ropes to some extent, not that Jaehee would mind.

  
Anna fumbled around the kitchen, straightening the place settings and putting out the tools she'd need and re-straightening the place settings, trying to distract herself from her nervousness. She'd already prepped the vegetables for the etouffee that Jaehee liked so much, chopping the celery, bell pepper, and white and green onions into impossibly tiny bits. After dinner (and maybe a bottle and half or so of wine), she'd finally reveal her feelings, and if she were lucky, Jaehee wouldn't be too put-off by it, and, at the very least, they could remain friends. Anna almost jumped out of her skin when she heard the doorbell ring.

  
She scooped Dizzy up into her arms to keep him from running out the door, and let Jaehee inside, greeting her warmly and trying not to let her nervousness show through. Jaehee set her work bag down by the couch and slipped off her jacket; Anna tried not to stare at the lines of lace faintly visible through the other woman's blouse. She craved the opportunity to get a better look, but thought better of it and busied herself in the kitchen, detailing aloud the finer points of roux-making. "The difference between brick roux and scorched roux is only about a split-second, so you've got to take it off the heat as soon as it darkens!" Jaehee lingered in the doorway to the kitchen nervously, as if getting too close to the woman she so admired would get her scorched as well.

  
Anna noticed Jaehee's stiffness right away. "You seem tense. Work stress?" Jaehee nodded, not quite ready to share the true cause of her rigidity. Anna went over to the fridge and removed a bottle of wine. "This should help with that." She gestured to the table. "Go ahead and sit down. It shouldn't take too long since I've already gotten the vegetables prepped. I'll just need to peel the crawfish and then I can get started on the roux. After that, it'll go really quickly." Anna poured two glasses, handing one to Jaehee before she resumed her work. The tension quickly dissipated as the two women fell into their normal pattern of conversation, Jaehee describing her ideas for how she might spend her vacation, and Anna anticipating the summer months, hoping to do some traveling herself, preferably somewhere with a nice beach.

  
As she listened to her friend excitedly suggest vacation destinations, Jaehee's mind drifted once again to the task at hand. She almost had a mind to abandon the whole idea, to let things happen naturally. _If it's meant to be..._ If she kept quiet about her feelings, she could avoid the prospect of humiliation in the case that Anna didn't feel the same way. Then again...Jaehee really wanted this, and it _had_ been Anna who encouraged her to always try, even under the threat of failure. Her grip tightened on her wine glass. _It's now or never!_ Jaehee slid her glasses off of her face, folding them neatly on top of the kitchen table.

  
"Anna?"

  
The other woman turned to look at her. Jaehee's voice seemed softer now, more serious. "Yes? What is it?"

  
"I've had something on my mind lately; it's had me feeling really confused." Jaehee stood, slowly moving across the room to stand next to her. "I was hoping...maybe you could help me understand."

  
Anna could feel her mouth go dry. _Do I dare hope?_ "W-What's on your mind?"

  
"Kiss me," Jaehee murmured, eyes darkening.

  
Anna almost choked on her own saliva, blinking rapidly, not totally able to believe her ears. "I'm sorry?"

  
Jaehee leaned in closer. "Kiss me...please?"

  
How could Anna resist when she asked so nicely? Eyelids beginning to lower, she brushed a few strands of hair away from Jaehee's face, hand coming to rest gently on the side of her face. Slowly, Anna closed the gap between them, lips brushing against Jaehee's gently at first before they settled against one another a little more solidly. Jaehee gave a pleasant little sigh, and Anna took it as a cue to continue, pressing a little harder as their mouths moved in harmony. Just briefly, she pulled away. "Well?"

  
Jaehee nodded, gazing at her through long eyelashes. "I think I understand now."

  
"Good." Anna formed the connection once again, mind buzzing with excitement. Jaehee pressed against her harder, wrapping her arms around Anna's neck, thrilled that this had come together so seamlessly. Anna hummed in delight, running her free hand through Jaehee's hair, earning the tiniest of moans. She almost jumped, surprised to feel the other woman's tongue finding its way into her mouth, but she obliged, allowing the kiss to deepen. The hand tangled in Jaehee's hair wandered down to play at the hem of her shirt, a question.

  
Not bothering to break the connection, Jaehee answered by taking Anna's hands in her own, placing them on her chest. Anna moaned, squeezing instinctively at the ample bosom under her hands, drawing a similar sound in return. Her fingers danced over the buttons, movements achingly slow as she undid them, occasionally pausing to teasingly brush her fingertips over Jaehee's silky flesh. "Don't tease me," she would murmur in return, pushing Anna's hands back to their original task.

  
The last button coming free, Anna slid the garment down over Jaehee's shoulders, pulling away to admire the way the red lace framed her prominent cleavage. Jaehee's cheeks darkened, suddenly _very_ aware of the hunger in Anna's eyes. Eager to please, she reached behind her back to undo the bra's clasp, freeing her large, soft breasts. She could see how Anna's breath caught in her throat, lips parting slightly before she returned her hands to the bare skin, nimble fingertips exploring, squeezing. Anna caught a nipple between her index and middle fingers, pinching lightly. Jaehee's hips bucked involuntarily as she emitted a pitched moan; Anna raised her eyebrows. "You're more sensitive than I expected."

  
"I bet you're sensitive, too," Jaehee breathed, hands tugging at the edge of Anna's grey cotton blouse. "In all kinds of fun ways."

  
"Do you want to find out?" Anna purred, allowing the other woman to pull her top off over her head.

  
Jaehee's hands dipped under the cups of her bra. "Show me." Anna nodded, unhooking the band and whipping the unnecessary garment across the room. Jaehee's hands moved tentatively at first, still figuring out how to make the other tremble just from a squeeze of the chest. She'd explored her own breasts, of course, but she still wasn't quite sure how to adapt that knowledge to the situation at hand. She looked almost too adorable, Anna thought, so focused and curious and pleased at the bosom whose size rivaled her own. She decided to take away some of the pressure that went along with learning how to please a new partner, capturing Jaehee's lips once again as the pinching, the squeezing, the groping continued.

  
A new request was murmured against Anna's mouth. "Touch me." She obliged, leaning down to lasciviously run her tongue over a nipple. Jaehee trembled at the knees. "Okay, yes, wow...I do like that, but...what I meant, was..."

  
"I know what you meant," Anna whispered, snaking one hand underneath Jaehee's skirt, tracing her fingers teasingly up her thighs. She froze as her fingertips reached their destination, her eyes widening as she suddenly realized that everything that had transpired thus far had been no spontaneous act. "You're not wearing any panties."

  
"No," Jaehee swallowed. "I'm not."

  
"You did this on purpose."

  
Jaehee rolled her hips forward to brush against Anna's fingers. "What're you gonna do about it?"

  
Anna's fingers found the opening that they so desperately sought, answering her with a single, quick thrust. Jaehee gasped, pleasure crossing her face as she parted her legs to permit better access. "You're so wet," Anna noted as she removed the bothersome pencil skirt still in her way. The corners of her mouth curled upward in delight as she trailed her eyes over the woman in front of her, naked save for a lacy garter belt and thigh-high stockings.

  
Normally, Jaehee would have retorted with something along the lines of "And you're not?", but she was too caught up in the moment, rolling her hips in time with the thrusts of Anna's fingers. She hadn't considered before that Anna could probably do a better job of finger-fucking her than any man she'd ever encountered. The other woman moaned softly, loving the sensation of her partner clenching around her fingers, hot and slick with need. She withdrew her digits, straightening back up and pressing them to her lips to taste the fluids that had sufficiently coated them. "What should I do with you now?" Jaehee whimpered and trembled from lack of contact, having not yet reached her bliss. Anna grinned hungrily. "I think I know."

  
Wordlessly, she cleared the table, making room, gesturing for Jaehee to climb up and sit on the edge. She felt a bit lewd as she sat her bare ass down on Anna's kitchen table, but she went with it, anxious to find out what would happen next, how it would feel to come from another woman's touch. Anna gently pushed her down to lay on her back before sitting down in the chair at the end of the table, face perfectly positioned between... _oh._

  
She raised her eyebrows, confirming her continued desire, and Jaehee nodded, breath hitching in her throat. Slowly, almost _too_ slowly, Anna ducked her head down, lips finally brushing against Jaehee's. She used one hand to spread them, her tongue coming out to press against Jaehee's wetness. This gentle touch alone was enough to make her shiver and gasp, stars dancing behind her eyelids. Anna grinned. _This won't take very long at all._

  
She began to flick her tongue against her, gently at first, but with increasing intensity as Jaehee's whimpering moans encouraged her. Occasionally she'd cease her licking to momentarily dip inside, the taste too erotic to resist. She continued to grow wetter, and not just from the saliva that Anna transferred to her. She breathed heavily, gripping the edge of the table as her legs began to tremble; she was close. Anna increased the pressure of her tongue ever so slightly, tipping her over the edge. Jaehee's back arched sharply, her pleasured screams echoing off the tiled kitchen walls as she bucked her hips, undulating against the mouth grinding against her.

  
Anna pulled back, grinning. "Good?"

  
"I think dinner will have to wait," Jaehee murmured, nodding. Still a little weak in the knees, she sat up, sliding off of the table. She grabbed Anna's hand. "We should move this into the bedroom."

  
Anna agreed, leading Jaehee out of the kitchen. In the bedroom, she removed what remained of her own clothing and laid down next to Jaehee, who moaned again as Anna kissed her, tasting herself on the other woman's tongue. "I want to make you feel good too."

  
"We'll get to that," Anna assured her. "For now, I just want to enjoy kissing you." She cradled Jaehee's face in her hands, gasping slightly as Jaehee's hands began to explore once again, focusing their attention on the parts they hadn't yet gotten to touch.

  
"Can I ask a question?"

  
"Well, of course," Anna giggled. "I just ate you out, so I think you're allowed to ask whatever you want."

  
Jaehee stared her in the face, her expression comically serious. "Is scissoring actually a thing? Or is it something that straight people made up out of lack of knowledge?"

  
Anna had to laugh in response; Jaehee's question was so unexpected. "Yes. Yes, it's actually something people do. I think straight people tend to overemphasize it, though. It's one of those things that works for some couples, but not others. Everyone's built differently, so things like height difference between partners can affect how effective it is."

  
"I see..." Jaehee's expression remained serious. "Do you think...we could try it? Sorry, it just sounds to me like it would be really hot, so..."

  
"Don't apologize. Of course we can try it." Anna traced her fingertips along the other woman's hipbone. "If it doesn't work for us, well, there's all kinds of other fun things we can do."

  
She sat up in bed, pulling Jaehee along with her, maneuvering to tangle their legs together and thus grind against her. Jaehee gave a low groan, their first touch promising. She scooted closer to Anna, trying to figure out how to best roll her hips in order to make her partner sigh. Finally she rubbed against her just so, making her gasp. _Victory!_

  
"Okay," Anna declared. "This just might work." Her fingertips found their way to Jaehee's hips once again, digging into the flesh for stability as she sped up her undulations. Their mouths connected as they ground their hips together, fluids mixing as they sought shared ecstasy. Her excitement pent up, Anna could feel herself edging closer to completion. She rolled forward, making Jaehee squeak in surprise as she found herself on her back, Anna using gravity to her advantage to increase the pressure between their bodies. She could feel the intense heat between Anna's legs, the spacey look on her face telling Jaehee that she was close.

  
The heady friction pulled her in as well, her legs beginning to tremble once more, matching Anna's quivering. She looked up at her, feeling the familiar heat spreading throughout her lower body. "Come with me," she whispered, breathless.

  
The two women clung to one another, whimpering and shivering as they rutted against one another, sharing the perfect moment of pleasure. As they came down from the high, Anna gently kissed Jaehee once more, stroking her face as she moved to lay beside her. Neither could speak for a few moments, content to just smile and sigh and gaze into their other's face.

  
Finally Jaehee spoke. "I always thought that I was straight. Guess I was wrong, huh?"

  
Anna laughed. "I have to say, you did surprise me."

  
"Yeah," Jaehee smiled. "You surprised me too."


	75. When a Heart Knows Fear

\---

_Can a person really survive on potato chips alone?_ Mina dug the last pre-prepared meal from the freezer and deposited it in the microwave. She'd already eaten every one of the others, which had obviously been intended for Saeyoung. It didn't really matter, though, as the man seemed to sustain himself solely on Honey Buddha Chips and Ph.D. Pepper; Mina hadn't seen him consume anything else in the time she'd been here. Has it really been almost a week? When Saeyoung had called her, frantic about his computer's compromised security, she'd expected their combined effort could fairly easily force out the intruder and enhance the strength of the firewall. Instead, it had taken several days JUST to block the hacker's access.

  
Of course, things might have gone faster if Saeyoung had been willing to speak to her beyond "yes," "no," and various inflections of grunting. After the name "Saeran Choi" had flashed across her computer monitor, he hadn't been quite the same. Mina still hadn't determined the name's significance. She was inclined to believe that it had to be a relative of Saeyoung's, but she couldn't be certain; "Choi" was a fairly common surname, after all. Mina knew better than to ask, too. If merely seeing the name was enough to send Saeyoung spiraling into a panic attack, he probably wasn't too eager to talk about it.

  
It worried Mina greatly. She'd already gotten the impression that he might be hiding some things deep down, the kind of things that Mina would never be able to find while conducting her semi-legal research. And yet, she wanted to know. The pain that creased Saeyoung's face as he stared at that screen tied a knot in her stomach, making her grimace every time the memory resurfaced in her mind. She wished she could share that pain, alleviate it in some small way.

  
Mina never imagined that the first time she held Saeyoung in her arms, it would be to ease him out of a severe panic attack.

  
She sighed in exasperation, returning her attention to the computer screen in front of her. She'd almost completed the new algorithms for Saeyoung's security system. Meanwhile he pecked away at the keyboard in another room, busy with some unrelated task that had come up suddenly. He wouldn't tell Mina what it was. In some ways, she felt glad that the project neared completion. Saeyoung's behavior was understandable, but it still frustrated her. He could be friendly and playful one minute, and then push her away the next, refusing to communicate. Mina didn't tolerate this very well. She preferred when people were consistent, and she didn't much like suddenly being given the cold shoulder with no explanation. Still, she couldn't quite bring herself to not care. It pained her to see Saeyoung be so depressive. Then again, if Mina wasn't wanted, she couldn't see why she should hang around.

  
Finally she completed the programming, beginning the process of uploading it to the servers. While waiting for the task to complete, Mina began to pack her things, cramming her dirty clothes back into her bag and sweeping up the food that the cats had spilled with their messy eating. Unfortunately, she knew she'd continue to worry over Saeyoung even after she returned home. At the same time, it wasn't really any of her business, was it? _I mean, we're not really_ that _close._ Sure, there'd been that moment of vulnerability, but it didn't really mean anything, right? The physical contact during that panic attack had been more out of necessity than out of friendliness or desire. Mina grunted, already tired of thinking about this.

  
Han still dozed lazily on the couch, but Chewie was nowhere to be found. Mina searched under furniture, in the kitchen, down the hallway. _Where the fuck did you go, you little bastard?!_ Eventually she realized that the cat was probably with Saeyoung. He sure had taken a shine to the young man, always "talking" to him in his goofy, high-pitched chirps. Mina could see the faint blue glow coming out from under the door to Saeyoung's room, and hear the faint tapping of computer keys. She knocked softly before cracking the door open just a smidge, poking her head inside. As she expected, Chewie lounged contentedly on the desk, the end of his tail curling and uncurling. Mina went over and scooped him up.

  
"Saeyoung."

  
"Mmm?" _Still unable to use real words, I see._

  
"I've finished things up. I'll pack my things and go now." Mina wasn't quite sure why she bothered to tell him this. If Saeyoung didn't care enough to interact with her, why would he care if she decided to leave?

  
"I'll arrange a ride home for you."

  
\---

  
It probably would be best for Mina to go home, Seven decided. If she'd finished her work, there was no reason for her to hang around. Besides, he didn't have any intention of interacting with her beyond what was absolutely necessary. He'd already gotten too close, too comfortable with her. There were so many lines that their relationship threatened to cross. A single glance, phrase, or incidental contact could be enough to push things way out of bounds. He knew that he was heavily inclined toward her, but Seven pushed those feelings so far down that he prayed they'd never resurface.

  
Somehow they always did.

  
_After she leaves, I should try to avoid contacting her again._ That would probably be for the best. Still, the idea formed a pit in his stomach. He knew that would pass eventually. Over the years, Seven had gotten used to good-byes. Everything would be fine. _Won't it?_

  
An old, chilling fear crept back into his mind. Had he put Mina at risk by involving her? Unfortunately, he already knew the answer to that. The Mint Eye hacker had accessed her computer, maybe her IP address, and it was rather obvious that said hacker held some level of animosity toward Seven. What if they targeted Mina in order to get to him?

  
Vile images flooded his mind, of torture, of death, of things still more grotesque and evil. _No no no no no!_ Seven's head began to spin, the potent combination of chips and soda threatening to make an encore appearance. He couldn't let her leave. He needed to keep her right here where he could check in on her anytime he liked to ensure her safety, where he could shield her from the ugliness of the outside world. Seven would never forgive himself if anything happened to her. Too many people had already been hurt because of him. _Not Mina... PLEASE! Not Mina!_

  
He could still stop her; she hadn't left yet. Seven tore down the hallway and into the main room, where Mina was still in the process of packing up her computer parts. "Don't go."

  
She looked slightly annoyed with him. "Why not?" she snorted, turning away.

  
"I think you might be in danger." Seven shook his head, sick with himself. "I should never have involved you. Being around me is too dangerous."

  
"Okay, edgelord." Mina rolled her eyes.

  
"I'm serious! That group from before? Mint Eye? They're actually dangerous! They tried to abduct our party coordinator! They blew up her apartment!" Seven was growing desperate.

  
"But she's actually _in_ RFA, right? I'm just a regular person. I'll be fine." She waved him off, picking up her things to carry them to the door.

  
Seven caught her by the arm. "Mina, please!" he implored her, voice cracking. If something happened to her, he'd never forgive himself. He couldn't bear to lose someone like her, someone so brilliant, so fascinating, so... _precious_. He gazed at her, eyes clouded with pain and desperation.

  
Mina's expression softened. She still believed that Saeyoung was exaggerating the severity of the situation, but she could tell that at the very least, he himself was convinced of the danger. He was in a very fragile place, Mina gradually realized; Saeyoung could very well put on a brave face, but deep down, he was lonely, and depressed, and frightened. It gave birth to obsessiveness, to paranoia. It wasn't that he didn't care about her. On the contrary: he worried over her a great deal. Saeyoung needed someone. He just didn't know how to go about expressing that need. She let her weekend bag slide off of her shoulder and onto the floor. "Okay. I'll stay," she whispered, her expression gentle.

  
Before he could stop himself, Seven was wrapping Mina in a tight embrace, her face pressed up against his chest. He didn't ever want to let go. There wasn't a single person in the world like Mina. Mina. Mina. Mina. The name echoed in his ears over and over like a mantra. "Just...stay here with me. I'll keep you safe," he murmured, voice husky from the lump that lingered in his throat. His heart swelled, emotions beginning to spill over. This time, he didn't make any effort to stop them. Just this once, Seven wanted to feel everything: the pain, the fear, the affection, something kind of like being in love...at least, what Seven imagined it to be.

  
At the same time, he knew he couldn't allow them to linger. They'd only distract him from his work and potentially put Mina in greater danger than before. It wasn't just Mint Eye that was after him, after all. He could personally hunt down and eliminate every single person affiliated with Rika's group, but Seven's work with the agency drew other dangers his way, many of them more powerful than Rika could ever hope to be. He could still give Mina an out, but if he let himself love her, she'd never be completely safe.

  
He pulled away from her stiffly, trying not to look directly into her surprised face. Seven very intentionally ignored the moderate blush that he could see out of the corner of his eye. "Make yourself at home," he instructed her. "I don't know how long you'll have to stay here. If you need anything in the way of groceries, there's a notepad on the fridge for that kind of thing. Vanderwood comes once a week." Seven turned and left her, going to lock himself away once again.

  
It wasn't until he heard a high-pitched meow behind him that he realized that he'd been followed. Chewie stalked over to Seven's computer chair and leapt up, curling himself into a small loaf and purring contentedly. Seven began petting the cat absentmindedly, thoughts still swirling. "This is bad, Chewie," he murmured. The cat craned his neck to look at the red-haired man staring off into space, wearing a mask of defeat.   
"I don't want to love her, but I'm not sure I can help it."


	76. Your Darkest Hour Comes Before the Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Content warning on this chapter for descriptions of relationship abuse and veiled sex abuse mention.

\---

Sleep was not a luxury that Yoosung could currently afford. Though he'd been much better this semester about actually attending class and putting forth a real effort to grasp the material, he still struggled with some subjects more than others. He now had less than twenty-four hours before a major exam, and though he'd already studied all the way through the previous night, a decent amount of material still remained for his review. Yoosung was kind of in a weird place, to be honest. His excessive caffeination kept him wide-awake, but it made him jittery and irritable. Something as simple as his pen rolling off of the desk would have him excessively angry. At least he could sleep later on when he finished his cramming, provided he could avoid a complete mental breakdown.

  
Apparently, Yoosung was only jittery because he hadn't eaten anything in over twelve hours. At least, that's what Chae-Young had told him before chiding him gently for his poor self-care habits. He had a good amount of momentum going, he explained, and didn't want to lose that by getting up and distracting himself with food. She'd laughed, finding his diligence endearing, and offered to bring some lunch from some local burger joint that she liked. Yoosung readily agreed, never one to turn down a free meal or Chae-Young's company.

  
He could hear her kicking at the front door now, hands too full to knock like a normal, well-adjusted adult. He hurried to let her inside, her typical eccentric chatter filling the quiet apartment. She forced Yoosung to abandon his books temporarily to join her at the table for a real meal. After getting him to settle in, Chae-Young began emptying the bag, pulling out massive, greasy packets of French fries and two larger-than-life burgers wrapped in oil-stained paper. "I think this one's yours..." she muttered, examining the stickers on top.

  
Yoosung readily unwrapped the sandwich, lifting the top half of the bun to check for his preferred toppings. He frowned. The orange-y sauce topping the patty didn't look anything like the ketchup and mustard he'd requested. He knew he'd been very specific when giving his order to Chae-Young. Yoosung couldn't believe she'd been so careless! "I told you that I wanted ketchup and mustard _only_! Were you even listening when I told you what I wanted?!" he snapped, sounding a bit angrier than he normally would have.

  
Chae-Young reeled back stiffly, not expecting such a reaction from her normally-gentle companion. Her mind began to spin. She _had_ told the cashier ketchup and mustard, correct? Of course... Chae-Young knew that it had to be the sleep deprivation talking. Yoosung would never be like this with her otherwise. Still, the long-held terror bubbled up inside her all the same, along with the same response that had for so long been automatic. She grabbed for the receipt, voice wavering. "W-wait...I know I ordered it right...I promise!" Her vision began to blur as tears gathered along her eyelashes.

  
Beating her to the receipt, Yoosung examined it carefully, noting that she had indeed placed the order correctly. He looked over at the still-wrapped sandwich sitting on the other side of the table, its labels indicating that it should contain the spicy sauce and peppers that had been placed on the burger in front of Yoosung. _Maybe..._ He picked up the other sandwich and unwrapped it, finding the condiments that he'd requested for himself. "Never mind," he said to Chae-Young, voice returning to its normally amiable tone, "They mixed up the wrappers." He looked a bit sheepish. "Sorry I got fussy with you."

  
He looked up at her, noticing for the first time her visceral reaction to his outburst. Chae-Young shrunk away from him, almost cowering as she gazed at him with the wide-eyed terror of a wild animal that had been cornered. She looked positively _frightened_ of Yoosung. The idea might have held a certain absurd humor if she hadn't been absolutely pallid with horror. _But...why?_ What could he possibly have done to warrant such a strong response? Chae-Young swallowed hard, audibly, scarcely blinking.

  
"Chae?" Yoosung reached a hand out toward her, and she instinctively drew backward. He tried softening his voice. "What's wrong?"

  
Chae-Young seemed to snap back to reality finally, giving an awkward, nervous laugh that in some ways seemed more similar to a loud hiccup. "S-Shit, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot," she mumbled. "I'm such a fucking idiot..."

  
"You're not an idiot!" Yoosung insisted, shaking his head. "I'm just curious to know what I did to make you react like that, like I scared you or something. I-I don't want to do it again."

  
Chae-Young shook her head. "You'd think I'd be better by now...that I wouldn't be such a fucking baby anymore."

  
"I don't understand."

  
"Listen," Chae-Young sighed. "It's not anything _you_ did. It's...complicated. I've been through some stuff, and I don't always react to shit like normal people do."

  
The pieces began to come together in Yoosung's mind. His eyes widened. "Chae...did someone in your past get angry with you a lot?" His question was met with silence. She looked away from him, sighing deeply. "Did...Did someone hurt you?"

  
Chae-Young was quiet for a few minutes, seemingly gathering her thoughts. "Yes."

  
\---

  
Swallowing thickly, still unable to make eye contact, Chae-Young began to recount her experiences. "During my time as an undergrad, I was in a relationship where I was abused on a daily basis; verbally, emotionally, even physically sometimes."

  
"No..."

  
She nodded. "When we first started dating, everything seemed to be fine, but after a few months, the red flags started popping up. He would try and guilt me out of doing things so that I could spend time with him instead. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but it resulted in me failing several of my classes, because I was skipping class to be with him."

  
"So that's why..." Yoosung slowly started to realize just how many aspects of Chae-Young's character had been affected by the experience. Suddenly her drinking habits made perfect sense.  
"Over time, he started to get more critical of me, like, he was constantly finding things to dislike about me. At first, it was just light criticism, but it got to a point where he'd scream and berate me over little things, like forgetting to roll up the car window. He made me feel like I was absolutely _worthless_ , like I couldn't do anything right."

  
"You're not worthless!"

  
"I know that," Chae-Young laughed lightly. "But I felt that way at the time. I really hated myself. It wasn't just the yelling either. He was really manipulative. He could get me to do anything he wanted, one way or another, and he'd make me feel guilty any time I tried to do anything for myself. He really fucked me up mentally, too. Any time I tried to criticize anything about him, he'd turn it back around on me, make it seem like he was the way he was _because_ of me. I got to a point where I didn't trust my own brain to determine when I was right or wrong."

  
"I think I've heard about that before. I can't remember the word, though..."

  
"He gaslighted me. And...well...it's difficult to talk about, but toward the end, he'd manipulate me into doing things if I needed any kind of a favor, like a car ride or something."

  
"You mean he..." Yoosung couldn't bring himself to say the word out loud.

  
"Technically, no. Technically, I had a choice, so I couldn't really call it assault. It's one of those gray-area things where even I couldn't be sure if it was abuse for a long time."

  
Yoosung wasn't quite sure how to respond. "At least...it's over now."

  
"Yes, finally. I tried to leave so many times, but he'd always get me to stay, crying and begging and swearing that he'd be better. He never did get better."

  
"But you did eventually leave."

  
Chae-Young nodded. "When I went abroad for a semester. He was livid. He said that if I went, it would be over." Her voice cracked. "The freedom I felt walking into that airport... That was the moment I started to get better."

  
_"Who's going to love you now?!"_

  
_"Me."_

  
\---

  
"I've been seeing a therapist since then, trying to sort through and unlearn everything I internalized over the course of the relationship. Obviously, I'm still not totally better, and I probably won't be for a long time," Chae-Young sighed. "I still feel sometimes like I don't deserve anything better in the future. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too damaged to be with anyone."

  
"T-That's not true!" Yoosung sputtered. "Nothing that happened to you is your fault!"

  
"I know. I know it's illogical, but I still feel that way sometimes. Other times, I just try not to feel anything at all." Chae-Young wrinkled her nose. "I really don't like feelings."

  
In the meantime Yoosung's mind continued spinning. In retrospect, it made perfect sense, considering how Chae-Young could be sometimes. Her fear of male aggression, her bad coping mechanisms...it all fit. Still, no one ever expects to hear that a friend has had that kind of experience. He stood and moved over to her side of the table, sitting down in front of her and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her forward so that her face rested on his shoulder. "Chae...I'm so sorry."

  
He could feel her relax against him, her words still running marathons through his brain. _I don't deserve anything better... I'm too damaged..._ Yoosung felt sick that Chae-Young...his beloved Chae-Young...could ever feel that way about herself. Could she not see that he was crazy about her? Of course not. She couldn't see herself through his eyes. In some ways she still looked at herself through the eyes of her ex, her abuser. Yoosung's vision flashed red, feeling hatred for a person he had never even met. He didn't even hate Rika like this, after all she had done.

  
Even after knowing everything, his feelings toward Chae-Young hadn't changed in the slightest. If anything, they had only grown stronger. Yoosung ached to show her just how loved she was, even if it took all day...and all night. "It's going to get better," he murmured softly.

  
"I know. You showed me that it gets better."

\-----

A/N: Sorry for the long hiatus! I overestimated how much time I could commit to writing while on vacation! I'm back now!

 


	77. I'm Here

\---

Seven groaned and threw his video game controller onto the floor in frustration as Mina cackled next to him. "What is that, like, four in a row now?" she taunted, basking in the warm glow of her latest victory.

  
"You're lucky that I'm going easy on you!" Seven pouted in response, grabbing the controller to go again. "I won't hold back this time!"

  
"Ha! Yeah, sure!" Mina scrolled lazily through the icons for the various playable characters, bored with her current selection. They'd been at this all afternoon. Seven had emerged from his room around eleven in the morning, taking a brief respite from his work, only to find that Mina had prepared a lunch, and, well, he didn't want to be _rude_. After lunch, she'd convinced him to indulge her in a couple of rounds of her favorite arena fighting game, and the rest was history. Before Seven knew it, the time neared five in the afternoon.

  
He probably should have gone back to work hours before, but ultimately he decided that it couldn't hurt to take some time for himself. He _was_ still a person, kind of. An odd person, perhaps, but still... Besides, he felt a little guilty leaving Mina to her own devices all day; she had to be bored out of her mind. It was Seven's fault that she had to stay here, so he should at least entertain her for a little while. And it wasn't like he didn't enjoy her company, either. There was something...easy about being with her. Seven felt less anxious, less depressed, less like he needed to control everything around him.

  
"Luciel, what exactly are you doing?" Seven nearly jumped out of his skin, not expecting Vanderwood to come in so quietly. Then again, he probably should have anticipated it, seeing as it was the normal day, after all. "And who is this?" Mina turned to Seven with a panicked expression, not having realized before that she wasn't supposed to be here. Vanderwood frowned. "You should be working! You have an assignment right now, if I'm not mistaken."

  
Seven floundered for a moment. "I-I know...I'm just taking a quick break!" He feigned a wide grin of innocence that didn't quite fool the other man.

  
"You should be hard at work, not playing games."

  
"I'll get it done, I promise!" Wordlessly, Mina turned off the video game system, knowing that the time for play had officially passed.

  
Vanderwood motioned for Seven to follow him down the hallway. "A word, please, Luciel." Mina watched as her companion stood to accompany this newcomer. _That can't be Saeyoung's maid._ She felt mildly tempted to follow them and eavesdrop on their conversation, but the more sensible part of her brain told her that _maybe_ the price of getting caught would be a bit higher than she could afford. Still, she _knew_ that they'd be talking about her, a fact that annoyed her slightly. Maybe getting up and finding something to do would take her mind off of this.

  
For the past week, she'd been tempted to do a bit of... _investigative work_. That is to say, she wanted to snoop around in Saeyoung's things. Maybe she'd finally uncover the secret of who exactly Saeran Choi was, what he meant to Saeyoung. Maybe she'd find nudes. Either seemed satisfactory to Mina. She hoisted herself off of the couch and tiptoed through the compound, opening drawers and cupboards as quietly as she could, keeping an ear out for footsteps behind her. One drawer presented her with several small notebooks, which she began to flip through as casually as she would a gossip magazine at the doctor's office.

  
\---

  
"Luciel, you have some explaining to do. Who is that woman, and what is she doing here?" Vanderwood's face held its usual exasperated expression as he addressed his question to Seven.

  
Seven knew better than to lie to Vanderwood, not that he would want to. This man was one of the few people he could really trust; the only person at their agency. He sighed. "Her name is Mina Park. I contacted her recently to help me deal with a security breach of my firewall. I'm keeping her here now because I believe that she could be targeted by the same group that invaded my computer."

  
Vanderwood's face softened. "Why didn't you come to me with this? I could have gotten someone from the agency-"

  
"This isn't related to the agency! This is about RFA."

  
Vanderwood gave a heavy sigh. "I see...and I understand what you're saying about her safety, too." His eyes shifted, eyebrows knitting together. "However, I feel I must remind you: You must refrain from forming long-term relationships."

  
"I know..." Seven's voice wasn't exactly convincing.

  
"Do you? Getting attached to someone will only make them a target."

  
"She's already a target! Because of me! I'm responsible for her now." Seven ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

  
"Her being here is also clearly distracting you from your work," Vanderwood chided gently. "I don't think I need to remind you what could happen if you do not complete your assignment, to both of us."

  
"Fuck...you're right." Seven slid the striped frames off of his face to rub at his tired eyes.

  
"As soon as this RFA business is resolved, she needs to go home. You need to be done with her. That's an order." Vanderwood looked at Seven understandingly. "I know it's difficult, but you understand how this works. You should start detaching yourself now."

  
Seven could feel a lump forming in his throat. "Yes, sir."

  
"Good," Vanderwood nodded. "I've put the groceries away already, so I'll be going now. Please remember what I've told you."

  
Alone, Seven slumped onto the floor, feeling the lump swell further in his throat. Of course he knew Vanderwood was right. It was silly to ever dream that anything with Mina could ever work. Besides, she deserved someone better: someone more normal, who could give her an easygoing, happy life, someone who didn't put her in grave danger just by being with her. Seven couldn't believe that he'd been so selfish. He took hold of all of the warm, fuzzy feelings Mina inspired in him, and pushed them way back down again.

  
Once again he found himself empty.

  
\---

  
Stone-faced, Seven began the long walk back down the hall, only to find that Mina had left the living room. He began to look for her so that he could tell her that he planned to get back to work, but she was nowhere to be found. Not in the kitchen, not the bathroom... Finally he spotted a flash of purple near his lofted work area, and he ascended the stairs to join her. When Seven arrived at her side he froze. In her hand Mina held a floppy disk, _that_ floppy disk. While he talked with Vanderwood, she'd been recklessly rifling through his things! He couldn't believe that she'd be so inconsiderate! Moreover, Mina couldn't be allowed to view the contents of that disk! No one could!

  
Seven snatched the disk out of her hand. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

  
Mina didn't really have a good answer for her snooping, so she just kind of stood there, mouth opening and closing silently like a fish that had been placed on dry land.

  
"This isn't yours! Don't just go through my things!"

  
"You're right. I'm sorry." Mina offered a weak smile, but it didn't do much good.

  
"Don't go through any more of my stuff. It's none of your business," Seven huffed at her.

  
"Okay, then. I won't. You have my word."

  
Seven made an annoyed sound and turned away, not even bothering to tell Mina where he was going. Vanderwood really had been right after all. You couldn't be with someone if you couldn't be completely honest and vulnerable with them, and there were far too many things that Seven would never be able to share with Mina. He should never have gotten as close to her as he did. He'd only set himself up for disappointment.

  
\---

  
After five straight hours without hearing from Saeyoung, Mina was feeling a little bit worried. Before, he'd come out every couple of hours to check on her, make sure she was okay, offer her some chips. Now, it was radio silence. Of course, he _had_ been pretty miffed to find Mina going through his things. That was understandable. Maybe he was just taking some time apart from her to calm down. Maybe he was too upset to talk to her right now. That seemed perfectly reasonable to Mina. Still, she couldn't help but worry a little. It couldn't hurt to just check in on him, right?

  
She knocked quietly on his door. "Saeyoung?" He grunted in response, acknowledging her presence. "You working?" Another affirmative grunt. "Is...there anything I can do to help? Maybe write some code for you?" Mina knew she was sucking up, but she didn't like this rift that had formed between her and Saeyoung. She'd do anything to get things back to the way they were before.

  
"If you want to help, you can do that by leaving me alone." Clearly, he still harbored some annoyance toward her. As much as Mina hated to leave things as they currently were, she knew that it wouldn't help to continue pestering him.

  
"Okay, well...let me know. I'm here if you need me."

  
\---

  
Around three in the morning, Mina finally started to get hungry. She prepared a quick meal of pancakes and eggs, and after gorging herself in front of the television, she considered that _maybe_ she should offer to share with Saeyoung. He'd asked her before to leave him alone, and she'd honored his request so far, but even 1337 haxors had to eat. She could always offer, and if he wanted to eat, he would. It wasn't like she was _forcing_ Saeyoung to eat her food and spend time with her.

  
"Saeyoung?"

  
"What?" He still sounded annoyed.

  
"I made some food, and there's plenty left if you want some."

  
"No, thank you."

  
"You should eat something." Mina could have smacked herself in the face for continuing to talk. She knew Saeyoung was pissed off at her, and yet, she just kept bothering him. But she couldn't stop. "When was the last time you ate a real meal? Like, not chips. You should really-"

  
Saeyoung swiveled around in his seat to glare at her. "I told you to leave me alone, didn't I? I said I didn't want any food, so just..." he stood up and stomped over to her, grabbing the door in one hand with the intent of slamming it in Mina's face. "...leave me alone!"

  
Mina's eyes widened. "I'm just trying to be considerate!"

  
"Well, I don't need your consideration, okay?! Don't bother me!" He swung the door forward.

  
Mina slammed her hand against it, enraged, before it could close. She spoke through gritted teeth. "Don't. You. EVER. Talk. To. Me. Like. That!" Her eyes narrowed in warning. "You do NOT get to treat me like this! I don't give a _fuck_ what you've been through; you _do not_ get to take it out on other people!"

  
Saeyoung's hands fell to his sides, his expression downcast. He lifted his hand to his face, giving a saddened whine as he took on an anguished visage. "I'm sorry," he whispered, voice hoarse. A shuddering gasp escaped him. "I'm such a fuck-up..."

  
"Hey, no..." Mina stepped forward into the room, resting her hands on his shoulders. "You made a mistake, okay? You reacted poorly, but it doesn't make you a shitty person, yeah?"

  
"I'm sorry I pushed you away again!" Saeyoung sobbed loudly.

  
"Hey, I understand. I shouldn't have messed with your stuff..."

  
He shook his head. "It's not just that... I just... You'll never realize my feelings toward you, even in my dreams."

  
Mina stared at him wide-eyed as her heart skipped a beat. Had she just heard him correctly? Her hands slid down to the front of Saeyoung's hoodie. She swallowed hard, gripping the black fabric and pulling the redhead forward until her mouth met his. They both froze momentarily at the first contact, neither totally certain that this moment was actually real. Finally Saeyoung found his way back and melted against Mina, reaching out to clutch her as tightly as he could, his mouth moving desperately against hers.

  
She shuddered against him, settling easily into the kiss. One hand moved up to run through that curly hair that she loved so much, the other slipping between the fleece lining of the jacket and the shirt underneath, seeking his warmth. Saeyoung, as Mina had expected, tasted like Honey Buddha Chips, and she tried not to think about the fact that she probably tasted like eggs. Even if she had, Saeyoung wouldn't have cared. His mind buzzed far too wildly with elation.

  
He loved Mina. He absolutely loved her. For once, Saeyoung could be absolutely certain about one thing in his life. He loved her. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.

  
Yet...Vanderwood's warnings still echoed in his mind. Saeyoung was being selfish again. He pulled away sadly. Mina's eyes took a minute to flutter open, but when they did they searched his face so desperately that Saeyoung almost wanted to die. "What's wrong?"

  
"As much as I loved that, we can't do it again." Saeyoung closed his eyes, unable to look Mina in the face.

  
"Why?"

  
"It's too dangerous for you to be with me. I can't put you in that situation. I won't. Besides, you deserve someone better. Someone who's not so broken. Someone who won't hurt you."

  
"Don't I have a say about all of those things?" Mina asked indignantly. "I-"

  
"Mina, please," Saeyoung begged her. She fell silent, knowing that he'd already made the decision for both of them. Her face scrunched up like she might actually cry. "Don't cry. Please. If you cry, I won't be able to stay strong. Just...stay here with me. I can't love you the way you want, or the way you deserve, but I need you here with me. I need you..."

  
Mina nodded, engulfing Saeyoung in an embrace that was decidedly more chaste that the one that preceded. "I'm here," she murmured, holding him close as the computer screens painted the two figures in their blue glow.


	78. The Same Old Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Content warning for sex things.

\---

"You take your green tea with lemon, correct?" Sun-Mi asked Kat from the other side of the spacious kitchen.

  
"Yes, that's right. Thank you." Kat graciously took the ceramic mug in her hands, carefully squeezing the juice from the accompanying citrus slice into the hot tea. "Jihyun," she called into the adjoining living room. "Sun-Mi has made tea. Would you like some?"

  
Jihyun shook his head. "No, thank you. I'm alright with water." He held up the stainless steel bottle to illustrate his point. They'd been here, in Jumin's home, for a couple of weeks now, and yet the excessive hospitality continued, no matter how much Jihyun or Kat protested that Jumin and Sun-Mi didn't need worry, that everything was fine. Kat seemed restless, however, feeling confined yet understandably reluctant to leave the safety of the penthouse. She'd already torn through every book she'd brought along, as well as some of Sun-Mi's recommendations. Jihyun suspected that she's occasionally sneak outside and toke up; on those days she'd pile up in bed and stare at the television all day watching nature programs. Still, he didn't want to criticize her for it. Smoking probably calmed her nerves, which were understandably frayed these days.

  
Kat still couldn't stand the sight, or even the idea of rats. She'd always change the channel if one appeared on the screen. Whenever that happened a fresh wave of guilt would wash over Jihyun, reminding him that it was because of _him_ that she was in this situation. He'd been too careless in assuming that Rika wouldn't find out about Kat, that she wouldn't jump to conclusions when she did, that she wouldn't overreact and retaliate with some vile threat.

  
Of course Kat insisted that it wasn't his fault, that it happened because of the kind of person Rika was, rather than anything Jihyun did or did not do. She remained just as friendly toward him as she'd always been, and in some ways, Jihyun felt as though the incident had affected him more than it did her. Then again, that was probably Rika's intention all along- to upset them both, to remind him that she still had some influence over his life, and that she had no intention of letting him go quietly.

  
He hated this, still being affected by Rika after all this time, after all of the hard work he'd put forth trying to get better. The darker part of Jihyun's mind seemed to say _you'll never be free of her, so why even try_. He could see that some of his old habits had begun to real their ugly heads once again. He smoked more now (thus, he couldn't really blame Kat for her own indulgences), and his appetite waned. He ate little now; Kat would always get that worried look in her eyes when Jihyun would leave the table with half of his food still on the plate.

  
Worst of all, he felt compelled to withdraw again, to wall himself off from everyone else. If Jihyun had it his way, he'd keep to himself all day, coming out only for brief meals before he locked himself away again in his room. Unfortunately for his bad coping mechanisms, Kat noticed this, and had started finding ways to stay around him, hovering around while he worked a jigsaw puzzle, insisting that they watch a movie together. She refused to let him go back to the way he had been before. In some ways, it annoyed him. In others, he couldn't be more grateful.

  
During this time, Jihyun's feelings toward Kat had become decidedly more complicated. As much as he tried to avoid her, he longed just as much to be close to her. Though, it was a different kind of closeness that he craved now. He hated having to part ways at night, after she'd been right by his side all day long. It was a much more _primal_ sort of company he desired. Jihyun couldn't quite find the words to communicate just how much he loved her, so maybe it would be best to show her, to give himself to her in the form of lovemaking.

  
\---

  
Kat watched out of the corner of her eye as Jihyun left the living room for the recreational room, where he'd been working through a jigsaw puzzle for the last couple of days. He liked solving them, she'd learning, after he requested that Jumin have a couple brought for him to pass the time. Kat wordlessly took her cup of tea and followed down the long hallway. Though her sock-clad feet were silent in the plush carpet, she knew that Jihyun knew that she was following after him, because that was what she always did now.

  
Neither of them wanted to talk about it, but it was their new normal. They both knew that Jihyun's instinct was to withdraw from others when he was upset, and they both knew he was upset. They didn't talk much, but Kat hoped that her presence was a comfort to him. Ever since the rat incident, he'd become so quiet, so distant. Jumin had finally explained to her that this was how Jihyun had been before, prior to Kat knocking down the wall and making a place for herself in his life, before he decided to get better.

  
She worried over him constantly. Part of her wondered if she shouldn't have told him about the rat, but of course that was silly. That had been a real, visceral threat, and it was better to warn him of an unpleasant truth than to recklessly ignore it and pretend that everything would be fine. As much as that was true, it still killed her to see him in such a depressive state. Jihyun had worked so hard to progress as much as he had, and she refused to let him spiral back to his old self. Try as she did, Kat began to realize that it couldn't be a one-sided effort. If Jihyun was to continue to improve, he'd have to put in some work too.

  
"I'm worried about you," she finally spoke.

  
Jihyun looked up from the piecey mountain scene laid out in front of him. "About me?" He looked down again, shaking his head. "You shouldn't worry about me."

  
"That kind of attitude is exactly the problem. It's _why_ I'm worried."

  
"Rika threatened you, not me," he reminded her. "I should be worrying over you, not the other way around."

  
"She threatened both of us. Listen, I can tell that you're not doing well with this," Kat said, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room.

  
Jihyun was silent for a few moments. "I just...I thought it was finally, really over. I didn't think I'd have to deal with this anymore."

  
Kat nodded. "I know. But you can't let it stop you from continuing to get better. You can't let her win. She might have the power to harm us, but she doesn't have power over your mind. You can't let yourself go back to the way you were before. You have to keep moving forward, for your own sake."

  
"That's easy to say, but...you don't know what it's like."

  
"You really think..." Kat chuckled darkly. "...that I don't know what it's like." Her voice was low, bitter. "Every time I nag you about getting better, when I yell at you to take back control of your life, I'm nagging and yelling at myself too."

  
\---

  
"I don't like talking about my first marriage, and in that way I think you're healing better than I am," Kat sighed. "But I don't want to keep it from you any more. What you're been through is infinitely worse than what I've endured, but there are enough parallels that you can trust that I'm speaking from experience."

  
"To be honest..." Jihyun cleared his throat. "...I did wonder why you separated from your first husband."

  
"Interesting that you assume that I was married to a man." Kat snickered as Jihyun's eyebrows shot up a good couple of inches. Her mouth curled into a wicked smirk. "I kid, I kid. I was married to a man. You just gave me too good an opportunity there." She sighed, returning to her tale. "I believed that he was a good man, I really did. Everyone seems good in the beginning, even when they start to show signs of who they really are. I was too young and too optimistic. When you're wearing rose-tinted glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."

  
Jihyun nodded. "Sounds familiar enough."

  
"We got married too quickly. I was still an undergrad at that point, and he was a few years older. I was nineteen and naive and didn't realize that he only wanted someone who didn't know any better. Someone he could control. He forced me into scenarios that were unfamiliar, uncomfortable, where I'd have to rely on him. Slowly, he cut me off from all of my friends, and he did his damndest to do the same with my family. He was jealous, and controlling, and, while he never laid a hand on me, he could make me feel afraid all the same, like I was nothing without him. He even tried to move me to another state, where I had nothing, no one. I refused, and that's the point when we separated."

  
"Why did you stay so long?" Jihyun asked her, dumbfounded.

  
She shrugged. "Same reason you did. I wanted to believe that we were happy, that we were good for each other. I put too much faith in a lie."

  
"It sure has made you strong though."

  
"In some ways," she sighed, "but I've completely lost my ability to be vulnerable with other people. It's a skewed definition of strength. I'm too stubborn now." Kat crossed her arms, her eyes at her feet. "I won't let myself go backward, and I'm not going to let you go backward either."

  
Jihyun found himself moving forward, pulling her against him. She stiffened and whimpered in surprise, but relaxed. "You can be vulnerable with me. You can trust me."

  
"I know." She murmured against him, extending her arms to return the embrace. That same soft whimper played over and over in Jihyun's mind as he wished to have her make the sound once more, though perhaps for a very different reason. His need for her was so desperate, so visceral, and yet...he couldn't do a damned thing about it.

  
\---

  
After a good hour of staring at it, the ceiling hadn't gotten any more interesting. Jihyun could have sworn that he'd been tired when he laid down to sleep, and yet sleep didn't come. His mind remained far too active, and...unusually _creative_ , inventing all manner of vulgar scenarios, all of which involved Kat, naked and on him in one way or another. He'd tried counting. He'd tried thinking through his favorite menu items at every vegetarian restaurant in the city. And still, his consciousness kept wandering back to whichever impure act he'd left off on. Nothing seemed to dispel the persistent arousal that clouded his mind and tented the sheets.

  
He could think of one thing that'd fix the problem. Well, Jihyun could think of lots of solutions actually, but most of them involved bringing Kat into his bed, and he didn't think she'd like that very much. So, one _practical_ solution. He hadn't done _that_ in a long time. Then again, he hadn't had the desire to do that in a long time. After Rika, Jihyun's desire had stagnated. At least, until Kat rekindled the fire within him. Now it burned hot and wild, demanding his full attention.

  
Pushing back the covers and tugging down his shorts, Jihyun felt almost intimidated at the thought of doing this again. Would it still feel good after all this time? Did he even remember how to do this properly? Would he be able to... _Best to just get it over with._ He reached down to grip his arousal tightly, hand settling back into its normal positioning as if nothing had changed, thumb positioned just below the head. Jihyun started slowly, rolling his wrist up and down, and almost immediately he could feel himself growing harder. A low groan escaped him, but he quickly silenced himself, lest Kat hear his sounds of pleasure through the wall.

  
Jihyun's eyes fluttered shut as he allowed his fantasies to run wild once more. An airy figure crept in from the shadows, taking Kat's form; the form that Jihyun had burned into his retinas after long hours spent gazing at the photos he'd taken in the desert. The shadow Kat began a slow crawl up the bed, hovering over him before rotating herself to mount him in reverse, her lovely, full ass plainly visible. She began a slow roll of her hips, sitting up straight to take Jihyun as deeply as possible, a low, guttural groan tumbling past her lips.

  
She moved her hips faster, breathy sighs increasing in pitch and frequency. Jihyun could almost hear the lewd, wet sounds of their coupling, and it drove him closer and closer to the edge. The shadow tensed finally, her hot, wet walls clenching around him as she screamed his name in delight. Jihyun reached for her hips to clutch her hard against him, continuing to plunge his cock inside. He clasped his hand over his mouth to conceal his own depraved yelp as his hand made one final jerk. He came long and he came hard, the twitch of his cock punctuated by tiny, choked-up whimpers. Tears beaded along his eyelashes from the mere intensity of Jihyun's long-awaited pleasure, and he lay breathless for some time, not entirely certain that his knees would support him on his trip to the bathroom to clean himself.

  
He adored Kat in every possible way; this confirmed it. He wanted to belong to her, heart, soul, and body. Jihyun couldn't know if she would have him, but if so, he'd be willing to follow her to the ends of the earth.


	79. This Fortress

\---

Mina's all-over purple hair was no more. It had already been getting close to needing a bleach and dye when Saeyoung called on her for help, and another week-and-a-half had since passed. She could no longer ignore the massive patch of brown on the crown of her head. Over the years, Mina had dyed her hair every color imaginable- pink, yellow, green, purple...and yet, she'd somehow grown tired of the flashy hues and the extensive effort that came with maintaining them. Perhaps it would be best to finally go back to her natural warm brown, to present herself in a less exaggerated light. It was Mina's true self that Saeyoung loved. Maybe the time had come to let that self shine through to her outward appearance as well.

  
If she'd thought about it before, she would have added "warm brown hair dye" to the grocery list. Then again, sometimes Mina didn't always think about things ahead of time. She could always wait another week, but her patchy color annoyed her to an unreasonable extent. She wanted this fixed _now_. It did occur to her that she could just borrow one of Saeyoung's cars and run the quick errand herself, but she knew that he wouldn't be too pleased about that. He'd told her explicitly not to leave, that it wasn't safe. He would lose his mind if he came out and found that Mina had just up and left.

  
Then again, it _would_ be _just a quick errand_. She could very well go and be back in less than an hour. Saeyoung would never even know that she'd been gone. Before she could allow herself to think about it any longer, Mina slid off the couch and grabbed her handbag. It would be imperative to complete this task as quickly as possible. She hurried out into the garage and scanned the spacious room for an appropriate vehicle, not even noticing the security camera mounted on the wall.

  
\---

  
After five long hours of work finally finishing his assignment from the agency, Seven was in desperate need of a fresh bag of chips. He stood from his desk and stretched, hearing his spine crack in several places after being hunched over for far too long. Shaking off the stiffness, he padded out of his room, yawning, wondering if perhaps there were some tasty leftovers in the kitchen; Mina was always cooking something. If not, he'd simply have to settle for his beloved chips. Oh, what a tragedy that would be.

  
Though, as Seven exited his room, the entire bunker seemed strangely quiet. Normally he'd at least be able to hear the television, or Mina's thumping music, or the rattle of a frying pan on the stovetop, and yet... Perhaps she'd decided to take a nap. If that were the case, she'd be in the living room, which, as it turned out, she was not. She wasn't in the living room, or the kitchen, or the bathroom, or even snooping around in places that she shouldn't be. Mina was simply _gone_.

  
"Mina?" Seven called out to her, with no reply. If this was her idea of a joke, to hide from him while he panicked, it wasn't funny. "Okay, Mina, you can come out now. You've got me. You win." Still, no answer came to him.

  
Seven's heart jumped into his throat. No way had something happened to her here! This place was far too safe...right? Whatever the case, he could always check the security cameras. He didn't like the idea of spying on Mina, especially when he'd told her explicitly not to snoop through _his_ things, but this could be a matter of life or death. Seven stopped to think. He could distinctly remember hearing Mina's voice roughly half an hour before, and thus he began his quest for information there. He watched Mina get up off the living room couch and take her purse and shoes to the garage. She'd left her other things behind, meaning she intended to return. It seemed she had a little errand to run.

  
While he felt relieved that Mina had only stepped out briefly, as opposed to running away or being abducted, Seven couldn't help but worry all the same. The outside world still posed its threats, and he couldn't bear to think of what might happen if someone from Mint Eye were to see that she was out and about, completely unprotected. _Please... Please come back soon!_ Seven sank into the couch, wringing his hands, knowing that he'd never be able to start his new assignment as long as she was gone. If she didn't return soon, he'd simply have to go after her. Each of his cars had a GPS tracker, after all, and it wouldn't be difficult to hunt her down and drag her home. _Home..._

  
_I should call her._ Seven dug his hand deep into his hoodie pocket to extract his cell phone, unlocking it and hurriedly finding Mina's phone number in the contact list. He held the phone to his ear, biting his nails as he listened to ring after ring. Finally the phone went to voicemail. Seven tried to convince himself that if something had truly happened to her, it would go straight to voicemail, or her captors would answer the phone instead. Mina's phone was probably buried deep in her handbag where she couldn't hear it ring. At least, that's what Seven repeated to himself over and over as he paced a groove into the living room floor, heart racing as he awaited her return.

  
\---

  
After another hour of Seven worrying himself sick, Mina finally decided to grace him with her presence once more. She waltzed back into the living room, shopping bag in hand, greeting him as if nothing were wrong in the world.

  
"Where the hell have you been?!" he demanded.

  
She stopped short, having the audacity to seem _surprised_ that he'd be so upset. "I just went out to buy some hair dye. That's all. Just a quick errand."

  
"I thought I told you not to leave!" Seven's hands were shaking, and he could feel his blood boiling in anger. He'd warned her not to leave for her own good! He only wanted to keep her safe! All this, and she'd still defied him!

  
Mina scoffed at him. "You think you control me?"

  
"I told you it was too dangerous!"

  
"It was fine! I-"

  
"Mina!" Seven's voice cracked, his anger beginning to melt away. "Please...I don't know what I would do if something had happened. I'd never forgive myself! I know...I know it must be difficult to be stuck here all the time, but I promise..." He walked over to her, hands shaking. "...I promise I just want you to be safe." His voice was hoarse, and barely above a whisper. "You scared the hell out of me."

  
"I can take care of myself," Mina insisted, shifting her gaze to the side.

  
Seven cradled her face in his hands, almost as if to confirm that she was still real, still here with him. "I know that, and yet..." Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. "I will always worry. I couldn't bear it if you were ever stolen from me."

  
\---

  
Mina lounged on Seven's bed, brown hair fanning out around her, as he silently tapped at the keyboard in front of him. Ever since she'd returned after completing her purchase, he'd refused to let her leave his side. Well, not _refused_. He _requested_ that she stay right next to him. He'd been so anxious, so distraught over her brief disappearance. It pained Mina to see him this way. If spending time at his side would ease his discomfort even a little, she'd stay right here. Though he wouldn't tell her, it was obvious that he'd been through some stuff. He'd been broken inside, and yet, she loved him all the same.

  
It grew late now, and Mina could feel her eyelids drooping. She shut off her phone, laying it on the table beside the bed, and rolled over, hoping that Saeyoung wouldn't mind if she fell asleep in his bed. Maybe he would take some time to rest, and come lay down beside her. Maybe he'd cuddle her close... What would he wear to sleep? Mina could tell that he was fit even under those baggy clothes... Maybe she'd finally get to see. Maybe they'd wake up tangled in one another's arms, already so close, and...

  
Seven's fingers danced across the keyboard as if on auto-pilot. He could do this easily, without having to think too hard about it. This was lucky; if this had required his full attention, he wouldn't be able to work. His mind was elsewhere, still lingering on the day's events. Mina had been so reckless; he could have lost her forever. He hoped that now, maybe, she understood the imperative of staying put. At the very least, maybe he'd guilted her enough, though that had not been his intent. It simply disturbed him deeply to think that something might happen to her, because she had the misfortune of being affiliated with him. He felt sick. Sick that she'd needlessly put herself in danger. Sick that he'd been so angry upon her return. Sick that his position forbid romantic relationships of any kind.

  
Sick that despite everything, he loved Mina Park with his entire being.


	80. Right Where We Are

\---

For a Saturday morning, the train car felt rather empty, leaving Yoosung with few traveling companions. Normally, the ride to Chae-Young's part of town went quickly, but today it seemed to drag as the train crept closer to his favored companion. It was still early, not yet ten in the morning, but they had very important plans, filling the day with pizza and video games. Yoosung smiled, excited to see Chae-Young again. It had been a while; he hadn't seen her since... _Since she laid her history bare for me._ He bit his lip, those awful details running through his mind once more. Since she'd revealed the extensive hurt from her past, Yoosung had resolved to devote as much time and effort as he could to bringing her joy. He could start by sharing some good news; he'd gotten a high grade on his last exam, the one he'd been studying for when Chae-Young took the time to bring him food and he snapped at her for supposedly getting the order wrong (Yoosung still felt guilty for that). Maybe now he could make her smile instead.

  
The Daesun grad student building seemed unusually quiet today, when normally it tended to be a rather noisy and raucous. Though, Yoosung supposed that was to be expected. After Friday night, most of the residents were probably either hungover or not yet home from wherever it was wild people went at night. He could hear music coming from Chae-Young's apartment, some thumping Nicole Mirage song about being a "Bad Bitch." Yoosung wasn't quite sure what that meant, but if Chae-Young was one, he definitely wanted to know more. At the very least, he could confirm that she was awake and active, even if her neighbors still snoozed the day away. He tapped his knuckles against the door, loud enough for Chae-Young to hear over her music.

  
"It's open," she called to him.

  
Across the room, Chae-Young stared intently at a canvas set up on the easel near the window. Her eyes flicked over the surface as she examined it, narrowing slightly as she focused on each individual section. It seemed to be another one of her mildly-creepy images, this particular piece depicting an abandoned mechanical horse ride, the kind you could always find outside grocery stores, the ones that kids would always beg their mothers to ride, its pink surface grimy from decades of use and then disuse.

  
Chae-Young's stance suggested that she'd been at this for some time, her posture relaxed, one hip cocked. She wore a pair of paint stained jeans and an old t-shirt, its sleeves ripped off; had she gotten up early to get a couple of hours of work in before Yoosung arrived? Maybe more than two hours, if the whiskey bottle in her hand was any indication. Though, that wasn't what caught Yoosung's eye most. This seemed like the kind of situation where Chae-Young would have a cigarette between her fingers, but no cancer stick was to be found. Her ashtrays were gone too...

  
"Chae, did you quit smoking?"

  
She looked away from her canvas momentarily. "Hmm? Oh, yeah. Started with nicotine patches about a month ago. I can't believe you didn't notice until now. I don't smell like a seedy bar anymore."

  
"You never smelled like a seedy bar." Yoosung rolled his eyes.

  
Chae-Young shrugged, screwing the cap back on her whiskey and wiping her hands on a nearby rag. Despite her newfound healthy habits, she looked a little worse for wear. Her normally-neat hair stuck out in sections, as if she'd been running her hands through it repeatedly, and a matching pair of dark bags had settled in under her eyes. On cue, she yawned, heading for the kitchen. "I'm gonna make some coffee. You want some?"

  
"Sure. You seem tired. Sleepless night?" Yoosung selfishly hoped that she hadn't spent the night with someone else.

  
"Oh, ha, yeah. I didn't sleep. I got on a roll with that painting late last night and ended up working straight through until the morning."

  
Yoosung frowned. "You need to be getting enough sleep, Chae. I wish you'd told me that you pulled an all-nighter. I would have come later so that you could get some rest!"

  
She waved him off. "Oh, it's fine, really. I'm fine, I just look like shit. Here." She handed him a mug of coffee, already light brown from the cream she'd added to it. Yoosung took a sip to taste it, surprised that, somehow, Chae-Young had managed to add just the right amount of cream and sugar without him even asking.

  
"You want something to eat?" she asked him next. "I just went to the store." Chae-Young held up a bag of Honey Buddha Chips. "Look what I managed to find!" She laughed as Yoosung's eyes bulged. "They're not my favorite, a little sweet for me, but I knew you liked them, and of course they're hard to find, so I picked up a few bags for ya."

  
_I am so in love with you._ "You didn't need to do that."

  
She shrugged. "Well of course I didn't _need_ to, but I wanted to. I figured it'd make you happy, and I like seeing you happy." She scrunched up her nose in delight. "You're like a puppy when you're happy."

  
"I'm not a puppy!" Yoosung pouted. "I'm a man!"

  
"All the same, do you want some chips?" she raised an eyebrow.

  
He held up his coffee cup. "Maybe after I finish this. I don't think they'd be very good together."

  
Chae-Young made a disgusted face. "You're probably right. Still, I'll bring them into the other room so you don't have to get up for them later." She grabbed the Honey Buddha Chips along with a six-pack of cola and a bag of her own favorite, hot chili chips, lugging it all into the main room. "Laziness is imperative on a Saturday." She yawned again as she turned on the television.

  
"Are you sure you're not too tired?"

  
She grinned. "Yeah, I'm sure!"

  
\---

  
Chae-Young pressed the button to start the first one-on-one match. Despite her outward appearance of exhaustion, her gaming skills didn't seem to have been dulled by her sleepless night. Match after match, she kept kicking Yoosung's ass so hard that he was afraid her foot might come out of his mouth. Her normal habit of trash-talking, however, seemed to have faded away, almost as if it took all of her energy just to focus on the game, leaving none for anything else. Curious, he looked over at her. She looked so damn tired; Yoosung had to wonder if she was forcing herself to stay awake so that she could entertain him. This couldn't be good for her health. He hoped she didn't do this often.

  
Another hour passed, and it became apparent that Chae-Young's all-nighter was indeed taking its toll. She continued her winning streak for now, but she had to work harder for each win, every round presenting more of a challenge. Her reaction times had gotten slower, Chae-Young acting just in time to avoid damage to her character. Sometimes she'd momentarily stop altogether, resulting in an opening for Yoosung to land a hit. As the morning wore on, these moments grew longer, and more frequent, until Chae-Young's character stopped completely, making no movement to defend or attack. Yoosung looked over to find her dozing, controller starting to slide out of her hands. "Chae." She jolted awake, looking at him wide-eyed.

  
"What?"

  
Yoosung smirked. "You fell asleep.

  
"Shit, sorry," she murmured, smiling sheepishly.

  
"If you're that tired, you should go take a nap."

  
Chae-Young shook her head. "No, it's fine. I'm fine, really!"

  
_Methinks the lady doth protest too much._ "You literally just fell asleep while playing video games." He raised an eyebrow knowingly. "You're not fine."

  
"I'll make myself stay awake," she insisted, stubborn as ever. "Besides, it's my fault that I didn't get any sleep. I'm not gonna abandon you just because I made a bad decision."

  
Yoosung crossed his arms, looking at her firmly. "Seriously. I can tell that you need to sleep. It's fine. I can play on solo mode while you rest. I'd rather you get some sleep so that you can be more lively later. You know that if you don't, you're just going to get more and more tired."

  
Chae-Young sighed, making a pouty face. "Fine. I'll go rest. But only for a little while!"

  
\---

  
From the living room, Yoosung could hear the sound of running water coming from Chae-Young's shower; after her long night filled with messy paints, of course she'd want to get clean before climbing into bed. The dirtier part of his mind couldn't help wishing that he could be in there with her, the closeness of their bodies making the situation even steamier. _Heh._ Unfortunately, Yoosung didn't think it likely that she was interested in him like that. Sometimes it seemed like she still saw him as a kid. Though, sometimes his behavior didn't exactly help; he could still be somewhat immature in ways, try as he did to improve and grow. If Chae-Young were asked to describe Yoosung, she'd probably use the word "cute." _"You're like a puppy..."_ Maybe she at least found his cuteness endearing. If she liked, Yoosung could be a good puppy for her, obedient for his master. After all, she _had_ been the one to suggest putting a collar on him.

  
A contented sigh passed Chae-Young's lips as she toweled her wet hair. It felt so good to finally be nice and clean. She should have showered the night before; then again, she also should have slept the night before. All the same, she'd rest better now that she'd gotten to bathe. After drying herself, she slipped on a pair of clean panties and a t-shirt, enough to be appropriate should Yoosung come into the room for any reason. She climbed into her nest of pillows, pulling the covers up to her chin and tucking them around her shoulders. Chae-Young slept best when she could get nice and snuggly. Maybe she'd sleep even better if that cute boy in the living room would come in and cuddle her. It seemed like a great idea, until she realized that if that were to happen, neither of them would be getting any sleep anytime soon. Besides, Yoosung wasn't interested in her anyway, right? He probably liked girls his own age, with cute faces and bubbly personalities. Chae-Young met none of those standards. Still, it didn't hurt to fantasize. _I can always dream._

  
\---

  
Having plenty of time to himself, Yoosung logged into LOLOL and went straight to work. It had been a few days since his last log-on; he didn't have as much free time now that he devoted himself to doing well in school. He still enjoyed the game, of course, but he had to admit that it wasn't as much fun to play alone. His coffee long-gone, he tore open the bag of chips, stuffing a handful into his mouth. _So good..._ It really had been nice of Chae-Young to buy them for him, to see something he liked and think of him, of his happiness. She could be so kind to her friends. Yoosung wished she could show that same kindness to herself.

  
He caught the sound of a muffled _ding-ding_ coming from Chae-Young's bedroom. He listened closely, but he couldn't detect the shuffling sound of her reaching for her phone, or the tapping sound of the its keyboard as she replied to a text. He had to wonder if it might be something important. If so, he'd need to wake her so that she could respond. _I should check._ Yoosung got up from his game and crept into the bedroom, careful not to wake his companion, who was completely sacked-out and dead to the world. _You really were tired._ Ever so carefully, he lifted the device from the nightstand and pressed the home button, lighting up the screen. Fortunately, it seemed, he couldn't have to wake Chae after all. It was only a push notification.

  
Setting the phone back down, he looked over at Chae-Young as she slept. She looked so peaceful like this, so contented. No worry or pain creased her cute little face, cheeks flushed pink from the warmth of her blanket. Her still-damp hair splayed out across the pillow as she rested on her back, one arm still under the covers and the other laid on the pillow beside her head. Yoosung caught himself smiling as he gazed at her, affection for her swelling within him.

  
Color rose in his face. _I shouldn't be in here._ It was kind of weird, wasn't it, just standing there and watching her sleep. Who did that? What would Chae-Young think if she woke up and saw Yoosung standing over her, just staring. She'd be so creeped-out that she'd probably never want to see him again. In her deep sleep, it seemed rather unlikely that she would suddenly wake, but the possibility still lingered. There'd be no way to spin something like that. This was something you couldn't exactly play off as no big deal. She'd figure out his feelings immediately. In some ways, Yoosung wanted her to know how he felt. Maybe she'd surprise him by actually returning his feelings. If not, he'd at least have an answer, some closure. He could try to get over it... In some ways not knowing was better. What you didn't know couldn't hurt you.

  
He felt drawn to her; something about her so enticed him now. Before he realized what he was doing, Yoosung was leaning down, slowly moving closer to her sleeping face. Her lips were just barely parted, and a lovely shade of soft pink; they looked delicious. Reckless in his attraction, he brushed a delicate kiss against them, then another, and another, not wanting the moment to pass. Every nerve ending tingled in delight as Yoosung stole kiss after kiss. Chae-Young shifted in her sleep and gave a cute little sigh, drawing a moan from his lips. He pressed his mouth against her a little more deliberately now, his heart racing. This was so risky, but so exhilarating, so wrong, but so _right_. Chae-Young made another sound, causing him to jump and pull away. She remained unconscious, but Yoosung didn't dare push his luck any further. Without another thought he scurried out of the room, lest she wake and find him still here.

  
\---

  
The loud, rude alarm ripped Chae-Young from her peaceful slumber, forcing her to jolt awake, heart pounding. _Ugh._ She very much did not want to be awake, at least, until she remembered her circumstances. Yoosung was still here, right? He'd coaxed her into taking a short rest so that they could play video games without Chae-Young falling asleep in the middle of a match. She supposed that she should get up; in face, she actually wanted to. He'd been right, she begrudgingly admitted. She did feel better now, more alert, less like a shambling corpse.

  
She licked her lips as they'd gotten dry while she slept. She frowned, finding an unexpected flavor there. Chae-Young detected a taste both salty and sweet, a combination she didn't usually prefer. Still, it was unmistakable: Honey Buddha Chips. Though, she hadn't eaten any Honey Buddha Chips today. In fact, she very rarely had them. The only one here who could have possibly eaten them was... _OH._ Had...had Yoosung come into her room while she slept and kissed her? That seemed to be the only possibility. It wasn't like he'd force-fed the chips to her. He absolutely had to have kissed her. _How naughty. I should punish you._ So that had to mean...

  
Chae-Young couldn't help smiling like an idiot. _He...really does like me._ She felt giddy, laughing softly to herself. _Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!_ She wondered how she should go about confessing her own feelings. Should she write a love letter? Just come out and say it? Or should she take Yoosung straight to bed? That last option seemed like quite a bit of fun, but using words to lay it all out on the table would probably be best.

  
_Why, so you can make him miserable like you?_ The pessimistic voice in Chae-Young's head chose a very inopportune time to speak up, but it did make an excellent point, she thought. It wouldn't be smart to just jump into this so recklessly. Acting on one's emotions never ended well. It wasn't wise. In the end, her feelings meant nothing, no matter how strong they seemed. She simply wasn't a good match for Yoosung. _He deserves someone better than me._ Chae-Young wanted to cry as she watched her joy turn to ashes, but she knew that she should be grateful for what she did have: a good friendship. That would simply have to be enough for her. Yoosung would find someone else, someone better, someone who could make him happier. It was _selfish_ to want him for herself. She shook her sadness away, putting on a brave face as she dressed herself.

  
Yoosung smiled as she entered the main room. "Did you sleep well?"

  
Chae-Young grinned in return, heart ripping in two. "Yeah, I did!"

\---

A/N: I made a deviantart account yesterday, because as much as I love writing porn, I love drawing it even more. Username is moist-n-creamy.


	81. Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Content warning for explicit sex.

\---

Since Vanderwood's last visit, Seven had been heeding (most of) his words diligently. It seemed like he finished assignments in record time these days, though perhaps his colleague might not approve of his motivations. Seven hoped that completing his work quickly would result in short windows of time that he could spend with Mina. No such luck. No sooner would he be sending off his documents to his handler that he'd receive a new request in return. It frustrated him to no end, but there had to be an end to the work eventually, right? In his quest to find out, Seven's eating and sleeping habits had somehow worsened. Not only did he continue his steady diet of chips and cola, but he reduced his intake as well, and would now go multiple days without even a few minutes of sleep. Logically, he knew that this was risky, that he could make himself very sick doing this, but the more he focused all of his attention on work, the less he worried about Mina. On the other hand, she worried even more.

  
Curled up on the couch, a book of sudoku puzzles in hand, Mina tried not to stress too much over the man locked away in his room, working, always working. After all, he was a grown man, he'd been getting by without her for this long, right? She did what she could, bringing him plates of food that he barely touched, staying alert as much as she could in the event that Saeyoung needed something. Mina even tried to avoid watching television or playing music, always keeping an ear out. It was a good thing she did, too, as Saeyoung's poor life choices finally took their toll. Mina detected an audible _thud_ from the other room, and she jumped up to investigate.

  
Worried, she threw open the door to Saeyoung's room without even bothering to knock, not that he would have answered anyway. Presumably, he'd passed out and fallen out of his desk chair, and now he sat slumped against the desk, a red mark appearing on his forehead where he'd whacked it against the furniture's edge on the way down. Mina squatted down next to him, jostling his shoulders a little as she examined the minor injury. Saeyoung's eyes fluttered open, and he grinned sheepishly as he observed Mina's worried face in front of him. "Guess I passed out, huh?"

  
"You don't even remember?" She cocked her head, worried.

  
He rubbed at his throbbing forehead. "Nah. I assume that I had to wake up at least a little when I fell, must I must have gone right back out."

  
"I think you hit your head pretty hard when you fell. I heard the noise from the other room!" Mina frowned, sticking out her bottom lip just a little. "You should be more careful."

  
Saeyoung made an effort to stand. "I'll be fine."

  
"No!" she insisted. "You should sleep!"

  
"But my work!"

  
"Sleep is more important! When do you need to have your work done?"

  
"Three days from now."

  
"And how much more do you need to do on it?"

  
"About a couple of hours worth of work." Seven started to realize how irrational he sounded.

  
"Go to sleep." Mina's voice was firm.

  
Seven couldn't deny that a good night's sleep _did_ sound nice. He hadn't had one of those in quite a while. He nodded. "Fine." Mina lingered as he tugged off his hoodie and tossed it into the chair before flopping down on the mattress. "I'm in bed. Happy now?"

  
She gave him the ol' side eye. "Make sure you stay there." She turned to gather several dirty dishes and empty cola cans, a pitiful effort to tidy the cluttered space. When she turned back, Saeyoung's eyes were shut tight, his mouth just slightly agape. _He didn't even take his glasses off._ Carefully, she lifted the frames, having to marvel for a minute at the surprising shape of his arms, more toned than Mina would expect from someone who lived on junk food. The thirst was too real. She spun around abruptly, eye caught by the still-glowing computer monitor.

  
After placing Saeyoung's glasses on the nightstand, she quietly padded over to the computer, eyes flicking over the lines of code. It wasn't too complex, really. Mina could tell exactly what he needed to do to finish. This task was so painfully simple; it almost insulted Saeyoung's intelligence and skill level. _How nice would it be for him to wake up and find his work finished?_ Mina grinned, pulling out the chair and plopping down in it. She hesitated for a moment. Saeyoung could be such a control freak. Wouldn't he be irritated by her messing with his computer? Only if she did it wrong. Mina double-checked the code before her fingertips began to dance over the keys.

  
Once she'd finished, she scribbled a quick note onto a sticky borrowed from the desk.

_Saeyoung-_   
_I figured I'd go ahead and finish things up for you. The code is complete and saved. I also saved a copy without my additions in case you're not happy with it. I'm going to rest now. I'll make something to eat when I wake up. You like pancakes, right?_   
_-M_

  
\---

  
Seven jolted awake around three in the morning, slightly disoriented from his deep sleep. He had to admit that he did feel _much_ better now, energetic even. He could finish up his work and then reward himself with a couple more hours of sleep before Mina woke. He reached for his glasses, finding a note stuck to them. His eyebrows raised as he read it, shocked that Mina would be so bold as to mess with his coding. Seven quickly shuffled off the bed, anxious to see what she had done. His gaze softened as he scanned the screen. As he should have expected, Mina's work was immaculate, indistinguishable from what he would have done.

  
Seven's love for her boiled over. His chest felt tight, as if packed with every ounce of affection it could possibly contain. He couldn't possibly imagine someone more perfect. Mina was exactly what he wanted, what he _needed_ , and he needed her desperately. Seven didn't care. He didn't care if it was risky. He didn't care if Vanderwood didn't approve, if _anyone_ didn't approve. This wasn't about anyone else; just him, and Mina, and their weird, reckless, dysfunctional love.

  
_You're the only thing I need._

  
Over the course of the past few days, Mina had managed to construct a rather impressive pillow fort by pushing the two halves of the L-shaped couch together and adorning it with more pillows and blankets than Seven realized he owned. He lifted the quilt covering the entrance, peeking inside. She still slept peacefully for now, and Seven sincerely hoped that he wouldn't wake her just yet. After all, she'd need the energy soon. Moving at a snail's pace, Seven crept in, crawling on his hands and knees over the multitude of cushions. Finally, he found himself even with her sleeping form, wondering how on earth he'd be able to get close to her without disturbing her.

  
As it turned out, that would prove impossible; as soon as Seven lowered his body onto the couch, she stirred, eyes flicking open. She seemed confused at first, clearly not expecting to find him next to her. Though, it didn't seem to bother her. Her gaze softened. "Saeyoung?" He said nothing in return, instead reaching over to delicately stroke a single finger down her cheek, feeling as though his eyes said everything he felt inside. Mina didn't seem to quite understand. "What is it?" she implored him.

  
Seven wasn't quite how to put his feelings into words. A soft whine escaped him. "I...I-" He could feel his face grow hot. _I need you._

  
Mina understood. _You need me, huh?_ She shuffled closer, eyes heavily lidded. She touched Seven's face in return, the look in her eyes matching his. Lids fluttering shut, she leaned forward and closed the gap between them. Seven gave a low groan, accepting the contact readily. His head went fuzzy, the kiss only fueling his desire. His hands came to rest on Mina's hips, tempted to slip under the hem of her tank top. _Not yet._

  
Instead he pulled away momentarily to cradle her face in his hands. "Mina..." he whispered, voice deep. "Just this once...can I be a little bit selfish with you?"

  
Mina's eyes widened, and she nodded slowly. Momentarily questioning whether he should really go through with this, Seven hesitated just briefly before thinking _fuck it_ and starting again. His tongue darted out, pressing past Mina's lips. She accepted the intrusion readily, sighing softly.

  
Seven grasped her hips firmly, whispering words between kisses. "I...want to leave... _evidence_...on you...that I...existed."

  
\---

  
Never breaking away from the kiss, Seven rolled Mina over onto her back, leaning over her. She shuddered, eyes squeezed shut. For once, he didn't overthink, just acted, letting his affection guide him. For once, he simply let things be. The kiss grew lewd, tongues dancing and tangling together messily, though neither seemed to care if things got... _extreme_. They pawed at one another desperately, Mina's fingers looping their way through Seven's hair as he ground his hips against hers wantonly.

  
Her hands grabbed at the hem of his black sleeveless shirt, yanking it up and over his head, and he returned the favor, exposing her full chest to him. Her cotton sleep shorts disappeared as well as Seven endeavored to strip her completely. She fumbled with his belt, greedy in her desire to see more, to _feel_ more. The pile of garments continued to grow, until Seven and Mina were left bare, completely unveiled and honest with one another for the first time.

  
Seven gasped and trembled as Mina's hands found their objective rather quickly. _You really do get right to the point, don't you?_ Teasingly she traced a single fingertip up the length of his cock, pausing briefly to gently massage that sensitive spot just below the head. Mina pulled her finger away, a thin string of pre-cum following it as she pressed it to her lips, not once breaking eye contact. Seven's hands settled on her chest, squeezing brazenly, leaning down to roll his tongue against a nipple. Mina tensed a bit, excited by this newfound pleasure, but did not protest. He shuffled forward a little, taking her hand and guiding it to his backside, revealing to her the silicone plug inside him. She chuckled softly, delighted to find that Saeyoung shared some of her predilections.

  
He flipped over then, reversing their positions. Mina squeaked in surprise, but grinned cheekily as she understood what Saeyoung wanted. Feeling him hard underneath her, she began to move back and forth, coating him with the fluids that had already begun to accumulate inside her. Saeyoung sighed heavily at the unexpected attention, resting a hand on her thigh as he admired her naked form. Mina's body was soft, curves dipping in and out delightfully, her velvety flesh perfect for gripping and sinking one's hands into. Before, he could have imagined what this form would look like, but nothing could prepare him for the sensual delight of the real thing.

  
"Now?" Mina asked, voice quivering in anticipation as she held up the still-wrapped condom that she'd found stashed in the pocket of Saeyoung's jeans.

  
"Please," he breathed.

  
She tore the package open with her teeth and covered him with the protective sheath, and before Saeyoung could process what exactly was happening, she'd begun to lower her hips onto him. Once he'd filled her, she lingered like this for a moment as they each gazed at the other lovingly, dizzy from this new sensation as their bodies adjusted to the connection. Finally Mina began to roll her hips against Saeyoung's, eliciting low, slow, sighs from him.

  
"You're too far away," he murmured, pulling her down to embrace her, mouths connecting once more. Mina continued her movements as best she could, decidedly more unsteady than before, the connection growing messier and more desperate as Saeyoung began to thrust his hips upward, seeking her warmth. In this moment, he finally felt completely at peace, now that the distance between himself and Mina had been closed at last. He loved her so completely, regardless of how right or wrong it might be. _If this is wrong, then let me sin for as long as I live._

  
Mina wanted to wonder what this meant to Saeyoung. Would this be just for tonight? Would he want to persue this further? Was this his way of asking her to stay with him forever? Saeyoung traced a finger down her spine, over the bee tattoo in the center of her back, making her shudder and tense before grasping her hips, stuffing his cock into her more intently now. Her mind went fuzzy, questions melting away. Maybe this would only last one night, but that didn't mean that Saeyoung needed her any less desperately in this moment. She wanted this too, so why shouldn't she relax and savor it?

  
She sat up straight, making him go deeper inside him, looking down with smug satisfaction as she pounded her hips down more roughly. Mina gasped every time she brought her hips down, making Saeyoung slam into her _just right_. Sensing that she neared her completion, he dug his fingers into the flesh of her thighs, bucking his hips upward quickly and intensely. Her eyes widened and her whole body quivered from the force of his movements.

  
Finally she tensed, screaming Saeyoung's name as she continued to ride him, greedy for every bit of pleasure he could give her. She leaned down weakly to kiss him again, surprised when he nudged her off of him, sitting up. "But you didn't..." Mina watched in confusion as Saeyoung reached for his discarded pants, pulling something from one of their deep pockets. He pressed the objects into Mina's hands, and she understood.

  
"Do me now."

  
Mina grinned. "Oh, I see." She gladly fastened the belts of the strap-on around her waist, eager to watch Saeyoung writhing and trembling as she penetrated him. She pushed him over onto his back, spreading his thighs and angling his hips upward to grant herself access. As she smeared the prosthesis with lubricant, Saeyoung removed the plug he'd inserted earlier, feeling rather empty as he tossed it aside. _Mina...please fill me._

  
She positioned the silicone tip at his entrance, moving slowly as she began to slide into him. He accepted her readily, laying his hands on her back to pull her forward quickly, making her slam into him more quickly and roughly than she first intended. It didn't seem to hurt Saeyoung, who gasped in delight as she rubbed against the sweetest spot inside him. She made note of this pleasing angle as she pushed his legs back, holding them to steady herself as she began to pull back, almost withdrawing before pushing inside once more.

  
Her movements were agonizingly slow as she amused herself watching Saeyoung grow needy, aching for more stimulation. "Mina..." he whispered. "Please..." He reached for her, hoping to gain some control over her movements, but she sat up straight, just out of reach.

  
"Not yet."

  
He squirmed and whined in protest. He didn't much like being denied what he wanted. "Mina!"

  
She stopped her movements altogether. "Saeyoung...you need to learn to relinquish control sometimes, to trust other people. You need to trust me."

  
Saeyoung stilled, gazing up at her. _A lesson at a time like this? I just want to cum!_ She did have a point, he supposed. Maybe he _should_ just relax, and trust that in time, she'd give him the love and release he so desperately craved. "Please...take care of me as you see fit." Submission felt strange to Saeyoung; normally he preferred a more dominant role. However, the way Mina looked at him now, the way she teased and took control... He didn't mind so much.

  
"Don't worry. I'll take _such_ good care of you. I promise." Mina began to push back in again, still moving slowly, until at the last minute, she thrusted in sharply. Saeyoung tensed in surprise, gasping and shuddering. Mina's lips curled into a delicious grin. He looked so cute like this. Normally Saeyoung could be such a dominant-type personality. She relished being the one who could break him, make him cry out and beg for her to fuck him mercilessly. She pulled back carefully and slammed forward again, making his cock twitch, leaking pre-cum onto his muscular stomach.

  
After a few delicious minutes of this, Mina returned to her previous _modus operandi_ of moving very slowly and delicately. Saeyoung whined, eyes begging for more, but he did not protest, trembling as he waited patiently for Mina to decide that the time was right to please him. He gave her the neediest facial expression he could muster and moaned softly, hoping that he could entice her to fuck him harder. She tilted her head in response. "Do you want me to make you scream?"

  
"Yes, please," Saeyoung breathed.

  
She leaned forward to hold him down as she plunged inside, slamming her hips against him as roughly as she possibly could. Over and over she rammed against that spot inside Saeyoung, making him tremble and cry out in ecstasy. Mina forced his legs back, dipping in all the way to the hilt. She'd managed to reduce Saeyoung to a whimpering, quivering mess, and surprisingly, he didn't seem to care, willing to temporarily trade his own dignity for the gratification that Mina planted inside of him with every thrust.

  
"Please...don't stop! I'm gonna-" Saeyoung cried out as he found his completion, screaming as he spilled across his stomach and chest. Mina leaned down to kiss him as she gradually slowed her thrusts, Saeyoung's moans echoing into her mouth. Once he'd finished, she pulled away to wipe away the tears that had gathered from the sheer intensity of Saeyoung's release. He was speechless for a few moments, chest rising and falling as he panted softly, beginning to calm himself.

  
"Do you feel better now?"

  
Saeyoung could only nod, grabbing Mina to hold her close. He'd been so greedy...but it didn't seem as though she minded too much.


	82. Run Away With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: One of those "moving the story forward" chapters. Not as exciting as last chapter, but here it is.

\---

Kat sighed, arm dangling off of the bed to half-heartedly wiggle her fingers at Sun-Mi's fat cat, who promptly put said fingers into his mouth. She felt quite terribly bored, having exhausted all of the entertainment options that had amused her for the past couple of weeks. Really, she wanted to do something with Jihyun; play a board game, watch a movie, anything really. Even things of which she'd already grown tired would surely be more fun with a companion. That didn't really seem possible at the moment, unfortunately, as Jihyun had somehow managed to grow even more distant over the past few days. Kat wasn't quite sure how that happened, exactly. She'd thought their conversation from before had gone so well, when she'd urged him not to regress. Apparently not. For a couple of days, it had seemed like was doing better, but now it felt like she never saw him.

  
Perhaps, she thought, this had something to do with the current investigation into Rika's cult, Mint Eye. Though, hadn't Jihyun cut all of his ties to the organization long ago, back when he first started down the road to recovery? Kat frowned. It didn't seem like he'd managed to keep his distance. He had, at least, delegated the investigative responsibilities to someone else, another RFA member. Based on what Kat managed to overhear from their recent phone conversation, it seemed that that person had recently been hacked, presumably by Mint Eye. It wasn't all that surprising really. If Rika had the resources to keep tabs on both RFA members and their acquaintances, she certainly had the resources to hire criminals to do her dirty work. However, Jihyun had seemed more surprised while on the phone than Kat would expect. There had to be more to it, something he'd managed to not let on. After that conversation, he'd locked himself in his bedroom, refusing to talk to anyone.

  
From what Kat could tell, he was still receiving regular updates. She could sometimes hear muffled phone conversations coming from his room late at night. It frustrated her, that Jihyun still had to deal with this, despite having decided before to back away from it. Of course, she shouldn't have been all that surprised, she supposed. He _was_ RFA's de facto leader, after all. To Kat, it seemed an overwhelming task, dealing with both the day-to-day operations of the organization AND _this fucking bullshit_. Not to mention, he still seemed visibly stressed about Kat's safety and well-being, as much as she insisted that she was just fine.

  
Clearly, all of this Mint Eye drama was to blame for Jihyun's current emotional state. For the two days following their prior conversation, he'd seemed to be improving. They'd spent most of their days in each other's company, even if it was merely being in the same room, Jihyun quietly working a puzzle while Kat read _The Omnivore's Dilemma_ for the eight-millionth time. He'd seemed happier, livelier. Then, suddenly, he'd been blindsided with all of this new information, and the regression began.

  
Jihyun needed some time away from this, Kat decided. It wouldn't be enough to ask him to just ignore it. He needed to _physically_ distance himself from it. Maybe running away from one's problems wasn't usually a good solution, Kat realized, but this wasn't exactly a normal scenario either. Forcing Jihyun to deal with problems _caused by his abuser_ only served to hinder his recovery. He was in a very fragile place right now. If the people around him weren't careful, he might shatter completely. He hadn't even gotten to spend half of a year dealing with his past before being thrown right back into it. He probably wasn't properly emotionally equipped to deal with this. Kat cringed, wondering if perhaps she was being overprotective. _He's a grown man; I should let him make these decisions for himself. All the same..._ Perhaps a nice, hot cup of tea would help her figure some things out.

  
Entering the kitchen, she saw that Sun-Mi had just returned home from the office, still clad in her neat blouse and trousers. She seemed to notice Kat's pensive expression right away. "Something on your mind?"

  
Kat pursed her lips, eyebrows knitting together. "I'm just...I'm worried about Jihyun. All of this business with Mint Eye...I think it's really hard on him."

  
"I think so too," Sun-Mi sighed. "It really is an unfortunate situation."

  
"I hate it," Kat muttered, scowling. "He shouldn't have to deal with this; not after what that _bitch_ did to him." Her vision went blurry in anger, hair standing up on the back of her neck.

  
Sun-Mi patted her hand. "Don't forget, he doesn't have to go through it alone. Everyone in RFA is here to help."

  
Kat settled down a bit. "I know, but it would be nice if he could get away from all of this, if he could take some time apart."

  
Sun-Mi looked thoughtful for a minute. "You know, Jumin does have a cabin up in the mountains. You and V could go there for a while, spend some time relaxing, and then come back when he's feeling better. Between Jumin and Luciel, I'm sure things will be taken care of here."

  
Kat shook her head. "Y'all don't need to do that. It's too much to ask.

  
Sun-Mi waved her off. "Nonsense. It'll be fine. Besides, they managed to handle things back before V returned to his RFA duties. You just worry about him feeling better."

  
\---

  
Once Jumin had arrived home and Sun-Mi and Kat had cleared their genius plan with him, Kat made a beeline for Jihyun's bedroom, anxious to surprise him. Still, she felt a bit nervous as she rapped her knuckles against the door, knowing that he'd be hesitant to just up and go, putting his problems off on someone else. Finally he answered the door, looking rather tired, though his gaze did soften as he looked at her. "What is it?" he asked her.

  
"Listen," Kat started, nerves frayed. "I know we talked about it before, but...I'm still feeling worried about you. I can tell that you're dealing with a lot right now."

  
Jihyun shook his head. "It's my responsibility. I shouldn't have let things get this bad. Before, I could have-"

  
"This is _not_ your fault," Kat insisted, cutting him off.

  
"If you say so," he sighed, too tired to argue.

  
"You should give yourself a break. I talked to Sun-Mi and Jumin about it, and they suggested that we take some time away. I think it would be good for you. They offered to let us stay in Jumin's cabin up in the mountains."

  
Jihyun's eyes widened. "I can't do that."

  
"Why not?"

  
He scoffed. "I can't just abandon all of the responsibilities I have here! There's so much happening! RFA needs me right now!"

  
"You can't keep shouldering this," Kat frowned. "You dealt with this alone for so long."

  
"That's exactly why I don't want to dump it all on someone else." Jihyun turned away, voice softening. "I don't want to be a burden."

  
Kat squeezed his arm, her voice gentle. "You could never be a burden. I know you feel responsible, but sometimes, you need to do what's best for you."

  
Jihyun thought for a few minutes, weighing the options and pondering what Kat had said. Maybe...he hadn't made his own health and happiness enough of a priority. Finally he gave a shaky smile. "Okay."

  
\---

  
Ultimately, Jumin thought it would be best for them to get going almost immediately. If Mint Eye caught wind that Kat and Jihyun were preparing to go somewhere, they'd most certainly follow. Kat raced about, throwing things in a bag, trying her best to pack lightly, should something happen that would require them to return to the city on short notice. In the next room, Jihyun couldn't help feeling nervous. After all, it would just be Kat and himself in that cabin, all alone... He distracted himself by making a few phone calls, to Luciel, to Yuki, making sure everyone would know where he'd gone. He tried to remind himself that this would be for the best, so that he could continue getting better, but he couldn't help worrying what would happen without him around.

  
Compared to their last traveling adventure, this drive seemed fairly short, only a couple of hours outside the city. The sun had already set, but the almost-full moon cast a faint glow along the ridge of mountains, illuminating them just enough to make them visible. Jihyun couldn't help feeling a bit optimistic as the city skyline disappeared in the rear-view mirror. He was glad to have brought his camera along; maybe he could get some nice shots of the summer blooms that had begun to appear. Maybe...this wouldn't be the worst thing.

  
Jumin had been diligent in ensuring their safety, it seemed. Not only had he provided them with their own little motorcade of sorts, but he'd sent several of his best security guards with them. He'd assured Kat that they'd make themselves scarce, staying in a smaller cabin nearby, and that they'd have both complete safety, and complete privacy. She almost had to wonder if he suspected that something was going on. It absolutely wasn't, of course, but maybe Jumin thought that there was something going on, which would be ridiculous, because there wasn't.

  
Finally the car arrived at the cabin's gate, whose fence boasted electrical defenses that could put down a bull moose. Upon entering, the cabin became visible in the distance. Jumin began his spiel regarding the facility's amenities- its state-of-the-art kitchen, its fine bedrooms, but neither Jihyun nor Kat really paid him much attention, to wrapped up in their own thoughts. The cabin itself was simply gorgeous upon closer inspection, and bigger than anyone anticipated. Outside, two security guards had already begun their patrol. Kat inhaled sharply, biting her lip. _I sure hope this works._

\-----

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	83. Too Many Feelings

\---

"Don't forget to roll up your window," Chae-Young reminded Yoosung gently as she pulled into an empty parking space outside the grocery store. He did as he was told, staring her dead in the eye as he held the button down, making the glass pane ascend slowly. Chae-Young turned off the engine, climbing out of the vehicle. "Now, we can't go _too_ crazy buying stuff, okay? I'm dipping into my grocery budget for this."

  
Yoosung gave a cute little huff, his bottom lip sticking out. "Fine," he replied, pouting artificially. He really was too adorable, Chae-Young thought. She'd have a difficult time not buying him every single thing he wanted. Inside, she grabbed a metal cart, frowning at how she always managed to get the one with the wobbly wheel. _Maybe every grocery cart in the world has one fucked-up wheel._ She shrugged, turning the basket in the direction of the snack aisle.

  
Snacks, of course, were an imperative purchase. In fact, the greasier and/or sweeter they were, the better. There would be a special, once-in-a-lifetime event taking place on LOLOL starting within a few hours, and Chae-Young had invited Yoosung over to participate. They planned to stay up all night in order to take full advantage of the event and its rare items. _We should probably get some caffeine, too._

  
Chae-Young stood guard by the cart as Yoosung lifted his gaze, scanning the shelves upon shelves of chips. She grinned to herself, knowing exactly what he sought. He was searching for Honey Buddha Chips, of course, though Chae-Young didn't think it likely that he'd find any. After all, they were a rarity; no store could ever keep them in stock for more than a few hours. She'd been lucky before to enter this aisle just as one of the employees was opening a fresh box. As one might expect, those bags were long gone now, and the ones that Chae-Young had managed to purchase then had been devoured already. Finally, something- a corner of a bag, a bit of text, maybe- caught Yoosung's eye, and his head snapped around in that direction. He shoved his arm deep into the shelf, managing to retrieve one last bag of Honey Buddha Chips. He turned to Chae-Young, grinning victoriously as he held up his bounty. "We should get ice cream too!" She raised her eyebrows in amusement, setting a course for the frozen foods section a few aisles over.

  
As she approached the ice cream, Chae-Young couldn't help noticing a tall figure in the distance. Something about the way that person stood, the way they were built seemed terribly familiar, though she couldn't quite put her finger on the reason. She frowned, squinting into the distance. _It can't be..._ Unfortunately for Chae-Young, this person was exactly who she thought it to be. Walking toward her, currently preoccupied by a conversation with his friend, was her ex-boyfriend. _Fuck me in the ass._

  
\---

  
Though it had been years since their last meeting, and she'd spent countless hours trying to recover from the traumatizing experiences of her past, this sight still managed to send Chae-Young spiraling into panic mode. Her brain started to race, searching for a discreet way out. She couldn't very well just turn onto a different aisle to escape. Yoosung would inevitably say something about it being the wrong one, and that would just draw attention. She'd have to play it cool for now, and hope that they reached the correct aisle before getting to close to _him._ She could feel her heart pounding as they managed to turn just in time, and she prayed to every god and goddess she knew that he wouldn't follow them down this path. If they could just get their ice cream and go, maybe they'd get out of this store unscathed.

  
Chae-Young could hear that familiar voice behind her as the conversation continued. Her hair was short now. Maybe he wouldn't recognize her. _PLEASE don't recognize me._ Her hands started to shake, not knowing what she would do if he did recognize her. She desperately wished for a hoodie, any kind of a jacket really. If only she could cover her tell-tale tattoos...

  
It was obvious to Yoosung that his companion was very upset, though it did confuse him. She'd been perfectly cheerful just a few minutes before, and now she seemed positively terrified. _Maybe she's having a panic attack?_ he thought to himself. _Those can sometimes come out of nowhere, right?_ Chae-Young had mentioned having anxiety before, but she hadn't said anything about this. He leaned in close, lowering his voice. "Chae, are you alright? You seem upset."

  
"Oh...yeah. I'm fine." She nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Her lie was obvious to Yoosung of course, but he knew better than to push the matter any further. Maybe she'd prefer to talk about this in private. Better to drop the subject for now.

  
"We should go to a different grocery store," Chae-Young suggested suddenly.

  
"Why?" Yoosung asked, confused.

  
"Well..." she seemed to be floundering for an excuse. "Another store might have more Honey Buddha Chips!"

  
That seemed like faulty logic. "Not necessarily. If we go somewhere else, we risk not getting any chips at all. I'd rather have just one bag than none at all."

  
The sinews in Chae-Young's neck tensed, her eyes darting anxiously back and forth. "Can...Can we just go? Please?"

  
_Something's really got her spooked._ "Sure, Chae. Let's go check out." Yoosung laid a hand on her shoulder, nudging her forward.

  
Suddenly the conversation behind them came to a grinding halt. "Kwon Chae-Young! Leaving so soon?"

  
\---

  
Chae-Young froze, her hands gripping the cart's push bar a little too tightly. _Why...Why does this have to happen?! Why did he have to see me?!_ She'd always fantasized about what she'd do if she ever saw this man again, how she'd demonstrate that her life was sooooo much better without him in it. Now, she didn't even have the strength to look him in the face. It seemed that she was destined to always be like this, always be weak and afraid, always be a damaged little coward, always be _worthless_.

  
"Even now, you're still afraid of me?! I was always right about you after all!" he sneered. "You'll always be a scared little baby."

  
Chae-Young gripped the bar even tighter, making her hands hurt, determined not to let the lump in her throat evolve further. "Just leave me alone," she mumbled, voice barely audible.

  
"Oh, like you left _me_ alone? When you chose your stupid trip over me? Fuck you!"

  
"Because you abused her!" Yoosung spat back, having pieced together the situation at hand. "You didn't deserve someone like Chae-Young!" His voice seemed lower now, rougher. There was venom in his words. Chae-Young's heart swelled as she craned her head to watch the unfolding scene out of the corner of her eye. _Yoosung..._

  
The scumbag scoffed. "And who are you? Her little boyfriend?"

  
Yoosung stepped forward, squaring his shoulders, his eyes burning. "So what if I am?!"

  
"Step back, little boy," came the growling reply.

  
Yoosung swallowed hard. "Fucking make me."

  
"I _said_ step the fuck back!" He shoved Yoosung hard, making him stumble back a few feet.

  
Chae-Young saw red. Sure, when it came to herself, she could be a total coward, but no one...no one could lay hands on Yoosung and get away with it. Before she realized what she was doing, her fist connected with a jaw. The only words she could string together were "Eat a dick." A sickly, wet pop echoed in her ears, a searing ache pulsing through the palm of her hand.

  
Finally the store manager came barreling around the corner, flanked by a police officer. "Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave. If you do not exit the store, Officer Paik would be more than happy to escort you out."

  
"But...But...She attacked _me_!" Chae-Young's ex mewled. He didn't seem so big and threatening now.

  
"Maybe," Officer Paik admitted, grabbing him by the arm. "but it seemed to me that you threatened her first. That's how it looked on the security camera, anyway."

  
"This isn't fair!" he whined as he was dragged out of the store. "That bitch is crazy!"

  
Chae-Young watched until he was gone, her hands still shaking. Despite the sweetness of her revenge, she still felt rather upset, though she found it difficult to put her finger on one single emotion. She felt angry, and depressed, and elated all at once. She didn't much like it. _Too many feelings._ She very much felt the desire to have a cigarette, but thought better of it. A shitbag like that wasn't worth breaking her no-smoking streak. She would, however, have a strong drink after arriving home, hoping that the hard liquor would burn away the potency of her emotions.

  
"You okay?" Yoosung asked her.

  
Chae-Young managed a weak smile. "Yeah, just a little pissed off."

  
\---

  
The drive back to Chae-Young's apartment was uncomfortably quiet, and only made worse by the snail's-pace traffic jam that came along with the end of the business day. What had transpired at the grocery store proved difficult to talk about, even though it weighed heavily on both her and Yoosung's minds. He knew better than to bring it up again, and neither of them could seem to think of a more pleasant topic of conversation. Yoosung stared out the window, looking for something, anything to amuse Chae-Young.

  
"Do you think owls have eyelashes?!" he blurted out suddenly.

  
"W-What?" She looked at him funny for a moment before bursting out laughing. She screwed up her face, thinking about it deeply. "I don't think they'd have eyelashes in the usual sense, because birds don't have hair...but they might have tiny feathers around their eyes that serve the same purpose!" She seemed genuinely proud of her answer. She pursed her lips. "I'm sorry about what happened at the store."

  
"Why would you have anything to be sorry for?"

  
"Well..." She paused for a moment. "You keep having to put up with all of my shit from before. It's not fair for me to put that on you."

  
Yoosung shook his head. "It's not your fault. And what happened to you wasn't fair to you either!"

  
Chae-Young bit her lip, hesitant to ask the question that somehow still managed to slip past her lips. "Why are you so patient with me? Why do you keep putting up with me, after everything. Why don't you hang out with people who are...happier, people more pleasant to be around?"

  
_Because I love you._ "Because I care about you. I like spending time with you. It doesn't matter to me that you're unhappy sometimes. Well, I mean...it does matter, because I'd rather you feel happy, but...you know what I mean." Flustered, he looked over at Chae-Young, relieved to see a soft smile on her lips as she watched the road.

  
She took a shaky breath, all of her negative emotions melting away as stronger feelings replaced them. _I love you so fucking much._

\-----

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	84. I Choose You

_\---_

_[A New Chatroom Has Opened!]_ Seven sat up in bed, looking over to see if the pinging sound from his phone had woken Mina, who fortunately still slumbered away next to him. Carefully, he slipped out from under the covers, grabbing his cell and stepping out into the hallway. He logged into the chatroom, joining the other RFA members who had already entered. "Hey," he typed, greeting the others.

  
"I'm glad you are here to see this, Luciel," Jaehee responded. "I received this email message earlier and it concerns me deeply. I am wondering if anyone else here has gotten the same one." She sent a screenshot of the enigmatic message, which seemed to be an invitation to join an "everlasting party." The Mint Eye logo was featured prominently in the message's header. Seven's stomach turned over. Clearly his previous victory over Mint Eye's hacker hadn't deterred them in the slightest, if they were continuing to target RFA members.

  
Yoosung signed in then. "One of my friends told me that she got a weird email a little bit ago. Maybe it's the same one."

  
"Chae-Young?" Yuki asked.

  
"Yeah... Give me a second. I'll ask her."

  
"Are you spending the night with her?" Yuki sent one of Seven's newly-developed emoticons, where chibi-Yuki raised her eyebrows suggestively.

  
"WE'RE PLAYING LOLOL," Yoosung insisted. He was quiet for a few moments as he asked his friend to open the email again so that he could take a look.

  
"Shouldn't V know about this?" Zen asked. "Maybe someone should call him."

  
"V is taking some time apart," Jumin explained. "This isn't the first time Mint Eye has targeted someone affiliated with RFA since they tried abducting Yuki. Recently, a friend of V's was threatened directly. He's...not doing well with it. I've taken them to a safe place for now. Luciel and I will handle things in his absence."

  
"How convenient." It seemed that Yoosung still held on to some resentment toward V, even if he wasn't quite as spiteful as he had been. "It's...It's the same email that Jaehee got. Is Rika going after people close to us?"

  
"It seems that way." Seven wondered if maybe he should tell them about the hacking incident.

  
"Will Chae-Young be safe? Please tell me that we're going to do something about this!"

  
"I'll take care of this," Seven assured him.

  
"We all will," Yuki added.

  
"No," Seven insisted. "This is something I need to do on my own."

  
\---

  
Seven signed out of the RFA application, sighing as a wave of guilt washed over him. He'd spent the last week completely focused on his relationship(?) with Mina. As a result, he'd completely neglected his responsibilities as a member of RFA. He worried that maybe he'd been wrong to ignore Vanderwood's advice. Maybe romance could only be a distraction after all. Seven had been so selfish, thinking that he could have his cake and eat it too. He felt sick, realizing that he'd have to end things with Mina. As much as he really did _love_ her, it was silly to think that this could have ever worked. At the same time, he couldn't keep going back and forth, getting close to her and then pushing her away again. It wasn't fair to either of them. Seven needed to end it, once and for all, so that things could get back to normal, so that he could once again protect everyone.

  
Not really wanting or able to sleep any longer, Seven took a seat in his desk chair, hands folded as he waited for Mina to wake. Finally she stirred, sitting up in bed when she noticed the absence next to her. She identified Seven's shape across the room, reaching for her glasses to get a better look. Her face fell as she noticed his grim expression. "Saeyoung? W-What is it?"

  
He sighed loudly, running his hands through his hair. "We can't keep doing this, Mina."

  
"Huh? Can't keep doing what? I don't understand..."

  
Seven made a loose gesture. "This. Us. I need to end things with you."

  
"Wha- Why?!" Mina's eyes widened, eyebrows knitting together.

  
"It's for the best." Maybe it was a vague answer, but it was the best one Seven could muster at this precise moment.

  
Mina huffed, crossing her arms. "That's what you always say, but every single time, you keep running back. You push me away, and then when you want me again, you come crawling back!"

  
"I know. I don't want to keep doing that either. You can be sure that I won't be back again. I've been neglecting my responsibilities to RFA, and it's put people in danger. I won't let that happen again. I've realized the consequences of my actions."

  
"Let me help!"

  
Seven shook his head. "No. I've got to do this on my own. I won't put anyone else in danger. I won't put _you_ in danger. If something happens to me, it won't be that significant a loss anyway."

  
"You can't keep pushing people away!" Mina shouted at him. "Enough of this lone-wolf bullshit! You need to accept that you can't always do things by yourself!"

  
"I'm going to make some preparations now," Seven muttered, monotone as he stood. "Please...just...leave me alone." Mina was silent as he exited the room, defeated. As he gently closed the door, he could swear that he heard her crying.

  
\---

  
As his computer began its triangulation processes, searching for the source of the previous Mint Eye break-in, Seven leaned back in his chair, staring at the screen and trying in vain to avoid thinking about the unfortunate decision he'd been forced to make. His phone began to buzz on the desk, capturing his attention. Yoosung's name appeared on the screen; Seven grunted in irritation. Still he picked up the phone. Perhaps the other young man had come across some additional information that could prove useful.

  
No such luck. "Seven! I'm glad you picked up! I just wanted to check in and see how things are going."

  
_So what you're saying is that you called to waste my time._ "Everything's progressing just fine. You don't need to worry about me."

  
Yoosung's tone remained cheerful as ever. "What do you mean? You're my friend! Of course I'm gonna worry a little!"

  
"Whatever." Seven couldn't help sounding a little bit grim.

  
"Seven...is everything okay?" His voice grated on Seven's nerves. How could Yoosung be so naive, be such a foolish child?

  
"Just...forget about it, okay? Forget about me! Can't you understand that this was all supposed to be temporary?! It was never supposed to be like this. RFA was only supposed to be a way to pass the time...nothing more. It's all temporary... _We're_ all temporary. I'll be gone soon enough. None of you will have to worry about me anymore."

  
"But...all the time we spent together before..." Seven could hear Yoosung's voice crack. "Does that mean..."

  
"Fleeting amusements."

  
Yoosung's voice took a dark tone. "All this time...I thought you were my _friend_ , but I was just disposable to you. RFA was disposable to you. Just means to an end, huh?"

  
"Don't worry," Seven growled. "After I finish things with Mint Eye, you won't have to put up with me anymore."

  
" _Seven!_ "

  
"I've got to get back to work. Please call Jumin if you need something." Seven pressed the "end call" button, expecting his phone to ring again any moment.

  
It didn't.

  
\---

  
Seven's cell phone did ring again several hours later, but it wasn't Yoosung's call back as he expected. Vanderwood's face appeared on the screen, and Seven grimaced as he was reminded of how much work he'd been neglecting. Still, he answered the call, expecting an earful regarding his recent job performance.

  
"Luciel, can you give me a status update on your current assignment? It is imperative that you keep me informed." Vanderwood's tone was pleasant, though no-nonsense as always.

  
Seven always was a good liar, except when it came to Vanderwood. "Uhh...it's going..."

  
Vanderwood was silent for a moment. "You haven't even started, have you? May I remind you of this project's size and importance. Your work is due in two weeks and you shouldn't wait until the last minute to start on this! This assignment requires so much attention to detail! You should have already started!"

  
"I know...I know...it's just that some stuff has come up with RFA. People might be in danger! I have to take care of this!"

  
"Luciel..." Vanderwood's voice softened. "I know this is important to you, but I agreed to keep your RFA affiliation under wraps on the condition that you still completed your agency work. I don't think I have to remind you of what's at stake here."

 

"No. You don't. I even ended things with Mina- that girl from before, so that I could focus on my responsibilities."

  
"That must have been difficult for you." This response surprised Seven. Vanderwood had been so insistent that Seven avoid romantic relationships, or deep connections of any kind. He hadn't expected his handler to be so...empathetic. "Still, I promise you that it is for the best."

  
"I know," Seven sighed. "I promise I'll finish my work on time."

  
"Good. Please take care, Luciel."

  
\---

  
Of course, Saeyoung had asked Mina to leave him alone before, but Mina never had been any good at following orders. After half a day of deep thought, she'd processed her sadness and had decided how to move forward. She approached Saeyoung at his workstation, arms crossed, a stern look on her face. "Saeyoung."

  
"Mina, what did I tell you before?"

  
She ignored this. "I'm not letting you go through with this alone. I don't know what you've got planned, but..." She sighed deeply. "You can count me in."

  
"This isn't any of your concern," Seven quipped, not even bothering to turn around.

  
"It is my concern. Saeyoung...I still care about you. I have the skills. I can help you."

  
"He's my brother."

  
"W-What are you talking about?" The confusion was apparent in Mina's voice.

  
Seven turned around, his gaze on the floor. "Saeran Choi is my twin brother."

  
Mina's eyes went so wide that Seven worried they might pop out of her head. "W-What the fuck?" she sputtered, almost choking on her own saliva. "I didn't know you had a brother. I've seen your birth certificate!"

  
"Documents like that are relatively easy to forge and replace, you know," Seven explained. He couldn't help feeling a little smug; if _Mina_ had been fooled by his falsified records, he'd clearly done a more-than-adequate job.

  
"Did you do it to protect him?"

  
Seven ran his hands through his hair, sighing. "It's a long story," he warned. "But I might as well tell you, especially if you're going to insist on helping." He chewed on his lip for a moment. "Saeran and I were born out of wedlock, and our father was- _is_ \- a famous politician. A scandal like that could harm his career, so he paid our mother to keep us a secret. To be honest, I think she only wanted us as a source of income."

  
"That's really sad..."

  
"My mother was an alcoholic, and she abused us. She abused Saeran more than me, because he was smaller, and weaker. He got sick more often. Sometimes she would tie him up and deprive him of food or water."

  
Mina made a face of disgust. "That's horrible."

  
Seven nodded. "I knew we had to find a way to escape. I got a book from the library, and I learned how to hack. I thought if maybe I could find work, I could take Saeran and run away. I met V and Rika by going to church, and I explained my situation to them. They wanted to help, but I still thought I could fix things on my own." He paused for a moment. "But...there just wasn't any way for me to save Saeran, no matter how I tried... My father became more and more powerful, and I lived in fear of him trying to take us out. Thankfully, with V's help, I was able to abandon my identity and go abroad, so that my father couldn't track me. V and Rika promised me that they would take good care of Saeran...and that is the reason I was able to leave on my own." Seven stared down at his hands, face scrunched up in anguish. "I promised him that I'd always be with him...that I'd _protect_ him...but I broke that promise, just by trusting in Rika. Thinking about it now, I'm so mad that I never had an ounce of doubt! There's no telling what Rika has done to him! To be honest, I've missed him so much ever since we parted ways."

  
"Saeyoung..."

  
"I just..." Seven huffed, having difficulty finding the right words. "I only wanted to keep everyone safe- Saeran, you, everyone in RFA...but I failed. I couldn't take care of everyone because I was too selfish. I was too worried about my own happiness that I didn't take responsibility for everyone who depended on me, everyone who trusted in me. That's why it's just better for me to be alone."

  
Mina moved to stand beside him, raking her fingers gently through his crimson hair. "If you let others in, they can help you. You don't have to do it all on your own."

  
Seven shook his head, pushing her hand away. "All that does is put people in danger."

  
Mina knelt in front of him, taking Seven's hands in hers and staring him in the face. "You've got to trust people to make that choice. No one goes into this misinformed; you never stop reminding people that you're dangerous. Everyone around you knows the risks, and they move forward anyway. I know the risks. I know the danger. I _choose_ the danger. I choose _you_."

\-----

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	85. The Weight of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Content warning for one paragraph toward the end of the chapter that describes sexual fantasy kind of graphically.

\---

The small lamp on Kat's bedside table flickered for a moment, briefly distracting her from the book in her hand. The cabin's lights did this occasionally, as the power just wasn't quite as reliable way out here in the mountains, but it still caught her by surprise every time it happened. She and Jihyun had been here for a couple of days now, taking some time away from RFA's current situation regarding Jihyun's ex-fiancee's religious cult, Mint Eye. It seemed as though Kat's plan was working; he seemed to be doing much better here, in nature, without anything weighing on his mind. He'd started working on his photography again, having abandoned it temporarily after that nasty business with the rat. Jihyun's personality seemed livelier, too. He smiled more now, was more expressive with his words and gestures. In some ways, he did still seem timid, reluctant to ask Kat for anything, or to venture too far from the cabin without her, but he still showed marked improvement from the time they'd left the city. Kat couldn't help but wonder how things were progressing back at home; she hoped her plan wasn't proving to be a burden on anyone.

  
A loud, powerful yawn escaped her, then another. Kat swallowed the last sip of lavender-chamomile tea from her mug, realizing that she'd suddenly grown rather sleepy. She struggled to keep her eyes open, to avoid falling asleep mid-sentence. Shaking her head to try and wake herself, she looked over at the clock, surprised to find that she'd somehow managed to sit here reading for three hours, not even realizing that so much time had passed. As soon as she reached a stopping point, she'd quit for the night. _Just two pages until the end of the chapter...I can make it!_ Kat sat up straight, widening her eyes to fight her way to the section's conclusion. Finally reaching it, she dog-eared the page, tossing the text over onto a nearby chair before tugging the lamp's chain to snuff out the light. She shifted to lay down, pulling the quilt over herself, body sagging into the mattress.

  
A low rumble of thunder echoed in the distance, heralding the coming storm. Kat had known that it was coming; she'd always been able to tell if it was going to rain just by stepping outside for a few minutes. The air just felt...different when a shower was on the way. Besides, it had been humid and cloudy all day, the sky darkening as the day progressed; a slow build-up. Kat looked forward to the storm; she'd always been the kind of person who enjoyed the rain. Something about it felt comfortable to her; no matter where she was in the world, a cloudy, rainy day made her feel at home. Nothing in the world could compare to the peaceful feeling of falling asleep, listening to the grumble of thunder and the pitter-patter of rain drops falling from the heavens.

  
However, part of what made that experience so universally wonderful was the fact that while the storm raged outside, you were safe, and warm, and dry inside, privy to but ultimately unaffected by the chaos of nature. The rain usually stayed outdoors. The precipitation began slowly, a few drops hitting the roof at a time, and grew until water poured from the sky in sheets, its dull roar accompanying the occasional clap of thunder. A drop of moisture hit Kat in the cheek. At first she assumed that she'd imagined it, but then another fell. Eventually, it became regular, a drip falling every few seconds. Kat jerked out of her half-asleep state. _What the..._ She reached for the lamp, wincing, blinded by the sudden brightness. Squinting, she looked up at the ceiling, noticing the bit of water that had accumulated there, leaking onto the bed, onto Kat's face, every few moments.

  
Kat groaned in annoyance, surprised that something like this would actually happen in such a seemingly-exquisite cabin. _Just my luck._ She'd insisted on taking the smaller bedroom, since she herself was smaller, and her selflessness had come back to bite her in the ass. Then again, she wouldn't want Jihyun to wind up with the drippy room anyway, so maybe this was for the best after all. Still, she'd been so comfortable, and now she had to move! _This sucks._ Obviously, she couldn't stay in here if this leak was to continue, and the rain promised to last all night. Unfortunately, for such a spacious place, this cabin had only two bedrooms, and the other was obviously occupied. Kat would simply have to be content with sleeping on the couch for tonight. Hopefully the mattress would dry out, and she wouldn't have to couch-surf for the rest of the trip.

  
With a huff, Kat threw back the covers, perhaps being a little over-dramatic as she climbed out of bed, grabbing the blanket and wadding it up to stuff under her arm along with her pillow. She turned off the light and headed for the living room, taking care not to make too much noise. In her exhausted state, it didn't occur to her to turn on any lights, not that she would have anyway. Kat always tended to overestimate her ability to navigate in darkness. She'd vastly miscalculated this time, coming around the corner and smashing her baby toe right into the edge of the coffee table. Collapsing backward onto the couch, she grabbed her foot to massage the injured appendage, involuntarily hollering out several swears.

  
A single, sudden clap of thunder resounded outside, so deafeningly loud that it made the windows rattle. Jihyun sniffed and shuddered awake, startled by the sound. He rubbed his face and sighed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before closing his eyes once more to try and find sleep once again. Another sound caught his attention, this one coming from another room; it sounded a lot like Kat's voice, saying "fuck." Perhaps English wasn't Jihyun's first language, but he certainly knew _that_ word. Concerned, he rolled out of bed, reaching for his glasses and switching on his phone's flashlight function. It had sounded like she was in the living room... Jihyun could make out her shadow on the couch, and he held up the light to see her clutching her own foot in pain, surrounded by blankets and pillows dropped unceremoniously on the floor. Irritated by the sudden brightness, Kat made a sound like a raccoon that has been caught digging in a dumpster.

  
Jihyun couldn't help being slightly amused by the bizarre sight. He had to make a valiant effort to stifle a laugh. "What...are you doing?" He paused, frowning. "...Did you just _hiss_ at me?"

  
Kat gestured back toward her bedroom. "The ceiling is leaking right over my bed. I'll have to sleep in here for tonight."

  
"Well...you don't have to sleep on the couch..." He shifted nervously at the thought of having Kat sleep next to him again.

  
She didn't quite seem to understand his implication. "I'm not gonna make you give up your bed for me!"

  
Jihyun shook his head. "That's not what I meant. We can both sleep in my room tonight."

  
A garbled sound escaped Kat's throat as her heart skipped a beat. _Together? In the same bed?_ She suddenly felt very nervous...and very excited. "Oh, ha- You don't have to worry about me! I'll be fine in here!"

  
"It's not a big deal," Jihyun shrugged. "It's a huge bed, and it's not like we didn't spend a whole week sleeping next to each other in a tent."

  
Kat chewed on her lip for a moment, thinking it over. On one hand, she absolutely would love to spend the night next to Jihyun again. On the other, she wasn't sure if she'd actually be able to sleep, or if she'd be wide-awake until morning, brain on fire and acutely aware of every sound and movement he made. "Well...okay." She casually gathered her things and followed him back into his bedroom, trying to act nonchalant.

  
The king-sized bed did indeed provide plenty of space, with a good two feet of emptiness between Kat's body and Jihyun's, but to Kat it still felt weird, for some reason, though the tent they'd slept in before had been far less spacious. This room was dead silent except for the rain, which had died down enough that it was a mere _pitter-pat_ on the window; Kat hoped that her heartbeat wasn't audible. Sleeping next to Jihyun felt... _different_ now. _Why does it feel so strange?!_ He'd already managed to fall back asleep; clearly _he_ wasn't concerned by this scenario. Kat shrugged internally, trying to calm herself. After all, if this wasn't a big deal to Jihyun, she shouldn't be worked-up about it either. He shifted in his sleep, whimpering softly. Immediately Kat felt hot between her legs, yearning to hear that noise again, though for a _very_ different reason.

  
Maybe...this felt weird because she had feelings now, feelings that she'd realized since the last time they slept next to one another. Honestly, when Kat had discovered those feelings before, she'd expected them to pass in time, thinking it was a mere phase of infatuation. She'd been wrong. Not only had these emotions lingered, but they only grew deeper as time went on. Even now, she tried not to think about it too much; it still weirded her out. Kat had never had feelings this strong about anyone before, not even toward her first husband. She didn't dare think the word "soulmates." _Ugh._ It sounded so cheesy and cliche, even if it seemed to describe her connection to Jihyun sometimes. _So lame._ Still, the connection felt so deep at times that it almost made her nervous.

  
Of course, Kat had no intention of ever acting on these feelings; at least, not anytime in the near future. It would be too selfish of her, to force something like that on Jihyun. He still had a lot of things to work through, after all, and these recent events probably only served to set him back. He still had quite a bit of healing ahead of him. He wasn't ready to be with someone new just yet; maybe not for a couple of years. Kat didn't even want to presume that he might return her feelings; she'd much rather assume that he didn't, than be sorely disappointed later on. For now, it would be best to just leave things as they were, to continue being Jihyun's friend, and nothing more.

  
Still fairly awake, she slowly and carefully rolled over to face him. He still slept for now, laying on his back with his head turned just slightly toward her. Jihyun really did have a gentle handsomeness to him, with delicate cheekbones and a softly curving jawline and long, wispy eyelashes. Despite the rain, dim moonlight still crept in the window, bathing the high points of his face in its pale coolness. He looked so peaceful like this, untouched by the chaos of the daylight hours, perfect and serene as if he'd never been kissed by pain. _This is how it should be. I wish you could always feel this kind of peace._ Kat would destroy anything that stood in the way of this tranquility, this soft, quiet contentment.

  
Her heart fluttered incessantly. At the same time, it was a decidedly heavy feeling; she wasn't sure if her chest would cave in from the weight, or if it would burst from the affection swelling inside it. These feelings...held a lot of significance, and they felt so dense, so concentrated. Maybe "heady" was the right word. Still, Kat felt more than willing to bear the burden, to carry these emotions, to let them continue to grow within her. Jihyun was worth it. He deserved all the love and affection in the world. She'd been so reluctant before to feel love, to feel _anything_ , for fear that she'd lose herself. Kat didn't feel that way anymore. Her feelings no longer seemed like a threat. This love was simply another facet of her now. Loving Jihyun was different than loving anyone else. He allowed her space to exist as she was. Maybe...this was how it was supposed to be all along. It didn't frighten her anymore, the idea of giving herself over to the weight of love.

  
Of course, she wanted to give herself to Jihyun, too, and not merely in an emotional sense. Kat had a long list of things she wouldn't mind doing with Jihyun if he asked. Shit, there wasn't really much she _didn't_ want to do. Mostly, she just longed to make him shudder and moan. He had such a lovely voice; it would lend itself well to whimpering and panting and begging and saying things like, "I'm so hard for you," or "Don't stop." Kat wondered if he'd like to wake up to her mouth on his cock. _Ehehe..._ She wouldn't actually try that, of course; not without prior consent. Still, she enjoyed imagining how Jihyun might react so something like that. Would he whine softly and coyly ask what she was doing, or would he simply lay his hand on the back of her head and fuck her throat until he was satisfied? Either was fine with her.

  
It was then that Kat realized she was smiling as she gazed at the man sleeping beside her. Embarrassed, she turned back over rather quickly, curling into a ball, cheeks blazing. Despite everything, this was exactly what she wanted most. She wanted to fall asleep next to Jihyun every night, forever. She wanted _Jihyun_ forever, because she loved him, plain and simple.

\-----

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	86. Here I Am, Give Me Something I Can Follow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warning for Explicit Sexual Content
> 
> Also, a quick note about formatting: totally italicized text inside non-italicized quotes indicates that the character is whispering. I don't think I've done that sort of thing before, so just a heads-up to prevent confusion.

\---

"I hope things are going smoothly at home," Jihyun mused, gazing out the window at the rain that had continued from the previous night, his arms crossed.

  
Kat flipped over onto her belly to look at him over the arm of the couch. "Don't worry about it too much."

  
He turned to meet her eyes, his expression almost hurt at her suggestion. "How could I _not_ worry?! Everyone's in danger! I could never forgive myself if something happened, and I wasn't there to prevent it!"

  
"I'm sure they've got things under control. You left your best people in charge. I'm certain they can handle things."

  
"You don't understand!" Jihyun shook his head. "This is all because of my choices, my inability to deal with this before things got dangerous! It's my responsibility to fix things."

  
Kat's voice softened. "Sometimes a leader has to delegate his responsibilities."

  
"Yeah, but something like this..."

  
"Coming here was for your own good," she reminded him. "You have to consider your mental health."

  
"But what about the good of everyone else?" Jihyun's voice was firm.

  
"So what were you supposed to do, just suffer through it?!" Kat asked him, scrambling off the couch. "That hardly seems fair."

  
Jihyun turned back toward the window, wistful. "If that's what's supposed to happen."

  
Kat grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, pulling on it to make him face her again. "Nothing in this world is just _supposed_ to happen. You're only a martyr if you _choose_ to be one."

  
"I didn't _choose_ what happened to me," Jihyun muttered darkly.

  
"No, but you do get to choose how you respond to it. You don't have to be a victim anymore. You are _not_ powerless. You can choose to be tied to your past forever, or you can choose to live." Her eyes glittered. "For once in your life, _take what you want_."

  
Jihyun's jaw clenched, eyes flashing with longing for a split-second before her grabbed Kat's face in his hands and pressed his mouth to hers.

  
\---

  
Both felt surprised at the action, Jihyun even more so when Kat kissed him back, even more fiercely. She grabbed him by the back of the neck possessively, her other hand finding a resting place tangled in his hair. It delighted him to have her respond so positively, but he couldn't help wondering if maybe she merely complied for his sake, somehow knowing how he craved affection. " _Do you want this?_ " he whispered against her, eyes still closed.

  
" _More than anything in the world_ ," she murmured back, voice low. She growled lightly, nibbling at Jihyun's bottom lip, making him shiver. He felt dizzy with excitement. It had been so long since he'd last had this kind of touch, not that things had ever been this _potent_ before. This was the kind of loving he could get drunk on.

  
" _Can I touch you?_ " Jihyun asked, hands coming to rest on Kat's hips as he begged permission to explore her body.

  
" _Only if I can touch you too._ " The hand in his hair moved to play with the hem of his shirt teasingly.

  
Jihyun's hands began to wander, but they were slow-moving at first, savoring every inch of skin they crossed as they slid up the connection from her fleshy hips to her narrow waist, toward the velvety skin of her back. Kat's hands, on the other hand, were much more curious, devouring him as they roamed. They rubbed over his chest and back, pausing momentarily to trace his collarbone, his ribs, the top bump of his spine. Testing the water, she pressed her fingernails into Jihyun's flesh, dragging downward, making him tense and whine. " _Did you like that?_ "

  
" _I-I don't know_ ," he mumbled, feeling color creep into his face. " _You might have to do it again to test it._ " Kat chuckled softly at his coy response, pulling his shirt up, asking him to remove it. He obliged her, breaking away from the kiss briefly to pull the garment over his head, tossing it aside. Her eyes flicked over his body, never having seen this much of him; she gave a low groan of approval as she rested one hand on his hip, the other grabbing the back of Jihyun's head to pull him back in. Her boldness began to rub off on him as his hands began to roam more quickly, ultimately grasping her black cotton t-shirt to remove it.

  
He pulled back to look at her, still dressed in her jeans and grey cotton bra. This wasn't anything Jihyun hadn't seen before, but he still marveled at her, this time able to fully communicate how much her body excited him- the spray of freckles across her shoulders and prominent collarbone, the warm tone of tanned flesh, the delightful curve of her body as her small waist flared out into lovely, full hips. Making sure his eyes remained on her, she reached behind her back to undo the hooks of her bra, tossing aside the unnecessary garment. Kat took his hands and placed them on her chest, watching the wonder fill his eyes as his fingers explored them gently, thumbs brushing over her nipples, eliciting small, quiet sighs. Jihyun squeezed, careful not to grasp her too roughly, ecstatic to finally be able to touch what he'd only been able to photograph before.

  
This...all of this...had him very...excited. Of course, after waiting so long, even their first kiss had been enough to get him wildly aroused. He almost felt self-conscious about it. _Am I being too lewd?_ Kat didn't think so, apparently. Jihyun nearly squeaked in surprise as he felt the pressure of her fingers on the front of his pants, easily finding the outline of his erection and running her fingertips along it. " _You're so hard for me._ " He could only whimper in response, trembling with sudden need for more attention. " _Does it feel good?_ " Jihyun could only nod.

  
Kat easily undid his belt, the jangling sound almost erotic with its promise of what would follow. She unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, tugging slightly to let them fall to the floor. Jihyun kicked them aside, watching with amazement as she stripped off the rest of her clothing, panties and all, naked and perfect in front of him. Suddenly his hands were everywhere, grabbing at her desperately as he moaned needily against her. The fingers of one hand dug greedily into the flesh of her ass as the other wrapped around her to press their bodies together. Her hands clawed at his back, desperate to have him as close as possible. " _It's always been you..._ " Jihyun mumbled, almost incoherently. " _I do believe in fate...in something...whatever it is...it brought you to me..._ "

  
He could feel her hands on his shoulders, pushing him downward. Jihyun wasn't sure what to expect next, but he complied, sitting down on the floor, sighing in delight as Kat straddled his lap, resting on her knees. Her positioning was perfect for him to grasp her ass firmly with both hands, pressing his fingertips into the soft, bouncy flesh. "I always did have you pegged for an ass man." Kat snickered as Jihyun's face went bright red. "It's okay. I'm glad." She looked at him softly, lovingly, before leaning forward to plant a gentle kiss on his forehead as she tugged at the elastic band of his underwear.

  
" _A-Are you sure?_ " he whispered, face growing a little hotter. Jihyun's mind buzzed with self-consciousness. Rika had often made it a point in the past to communicate how she wasn't entirely fond of his naked body; would Kat react the same way? " _I feel a little shy about it._ "

  
She pulled back to look at him curiously. "What makes you feel that way?"

  
Jihyun shifted uncomfortably. "What if you don't like what you see?"

  
"I don't think that's going to happen. I've liked everything so far," she reassured him, raising her eyebrows suggestively. "I want to see you. _All_ of you."

  
"O-Okay." She shifted backward a little, allowing him to pull the garment down his legs as she murmured her approval. "Is...Is it okay?"

  
"You look wonderful. I can't see why you'd ever feel self-conscious about how you look. Every part of you is perfect."

  
"I'm not...too _big_?"

  
Kat gave him a look that seemed to say _"You can't be serious."_ "You do know that having a big cock is generally seen as a positive thing, right?"

  
"Well...Rika always acted like I was hurting her. I don't want to hurt you!" Jihyun looked sheepish.

  
Kat pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "Okay. _First of all..._ Your relationship with Rika wasn't healthy to begin with. That probably bled over to your sexual relationship. Second, you're not going to hurt me. It only hurts if the woman isn't sufficiently aroused, and with me, you don't have to worry about that _at all_." She took Jihyun's hand and placed it between her legs, letting him feel her wetness. "See? You haven't got anything to worry about." She leaned forward to whisper in his ear as she moved forward to rub herself against his arousal. " _I can take your cock just fine, Darlin'._ "

  
"I can't wait any longer!" Jihyun whined suddenly. "Can we..." Kat nodded, shifting to position her hips appropriately, gently taking his cock between her index and middle fingers to press the tip against her entrance. " _Please..._ " he whimpered.

  
She took him in slowly, teasingly, making him shiver slightly as he was gradually enveloped in her warmth. Once he filled her completely, she took his face in her hands, resuming their kiss as he marveled at the warmth and wetness of her cunt, reaching back to remove the elastic band which held back Kat's mane of wild hair. Jihyun ran his fingers through it, not entirely surprised at its softness. She began to move finally, rolling her hips gently onto him. He gasped, suddenly a little sensitive, hoping he wouldn't finish too quickly. Of course Kat wasn't his first, but all the same, this felt totally new to him; he'd never experienced love-making like this.

  
This was sex to communicate their affection to one another, rather than to try and remind them of their "love."

  
Kat groaned and sighed constantly as she moved, in complete awe of the man underneath her. Jihyun felt incredible inside her, rubbing against her inner walls _just right_ to make her tremble and clench around him. He filled her so deeply, so completely, bodies fitting together more perfectly than she'd ever expected. She growled low, pulling his hair gently, an act he didn't seem to mind. His cock twitched and throbbed inside of her, her movements punctuated by the occasional soft sigh from him, but he remained quiet otherwise, which surprised her. She'd been so certain that Jihyun would be a screamer.

  
Kat broke away from the kiss momentarily. "Does it feel good?" she asked him. "You're so quiet."

  
"Ah-yes, you feel amazing. I just...nngh...trained myself to keep quiet."

  
She cocked her head, confused. "Why would you do that?"

  
" _She_ didn't like it when I made noise. She said I sounded awkward, so..."

  
"I doubt you sound awkward," Kat insisted, shaking her head. "You don't need to hold back with me. I _want_ to hear how good you feel."

  
Jihyun grasped her hips tightly, thrusting upward sharply, making her shudder and moan, repeating this motion over and over until a loud, gasping groan tumbled past his lips. Kat latched on to the side of his neck, sucking hard as he continued fucking her relentlessly, making him whine desperately. " _You don't sound awkward_ ," she murmured. " _You sound like a_ man."

  
At this encouragement, Jihyun grew more confident, pushing Kat over onto her back before he resumed slamming his cock into her. Her eyes rolled backward, voice cracking as she screamed. "F _uck_ me, Jihyun!" He didn't need to be told twice, forcing her legs back as he leaned down to kiss and nibble at her neck as he buried himself deep within. She seemed to grow even wetter, clutching him tightly as she whimpered in his ear. Fighting him for dominance, she sank her teeth into his shoulder, making him hiss, only partially in pain.

  
"Harder!" she demanded, and Jihyun complied, bucking his hips more roughly. He could tell what she wanted, that she was close, that she wanted to come. He decided to give her what she sought so desperately. He pinned one of Kat's hands above her head, shoving his cock into her as forcefully as he could, fucking her quivering cunt relentlessly. Her free hand clawed into his flesh, her voice pitched and breaking as she moaned his name over and over. Jihyun felt himself getting close as well.

  
"I'm going to...soon..." he panted. "Should I pull out?"

  
"No. I want you to cum inside me," she growled.

  
"Come together with me."

  
Kat hit her peak first, her wildness suddenly subsiding into messy desperation. She clung to Jihyun, whimpering and trembling and she tightened around his twitching cock. "P-Please fill me," she begged. "I want you so bad!"

  
Jihyun gave it to her, spilling messily inside as he gave a sudden, long, breathy cry, followed by a few soft whimpers of delight. "I-I love you!" he screamed, burying his face in Kat's shoulder, cock throbbing.

  
" _I love you too_ ," she whispered back, to his delight. Even after shared pleasure had subsided, they lay there for a few quiet moments, bodies tangled together, holding each other. Jihyun stayed inside Kat as he leaned back to look at her, at her hooded eyes filled with so much feeling, her messy hair splayed out across the floor, her lips, swollen and pink from so much attention. His vision blurred momentarily, wet drops falling onto her face. Kat reached for her discarded t-shirt to reach up and wipe away the happy tears so that she could stare lovingly into those beautiful blue eyes once again.

  
"We should move to the bedroom," Jihyun posited, sitting up to allow Kat to move. She stood, unashamed of her nakedness, fluids beginning to drip from her body, running down her inner thighs. He looked up at her, marveling as if a goddess had appeared before him, wild and beautiful.

  
\---

  
"Come here," Jihyun beckoned Kat as he flopped down on his back, patting the spot next to him in bed. She curled up next to him, resting her face on his chest and draping an arm over him. He kissed her forehead and yawned, spent after having done it a second time.

  
Kat was quiet for a moment. "Ji?"

  
"Hmm?"

  
"Did you really mean it?" She bit her lip.

  
"Mean what?"

  
"When you told me that you loved me, did you mean it? Do you _really_ love me, or am I just a convenient replacement? I-I really love you, and I don't want to get my hopes up if you only feel like you love me because I'm here, because I'm nice to you."

  
Jihyun rolled over to face her. "Of course I really love you. How could I not?" Kat rolled her eyes. "I'm serious! Of course, at first I just though it was because you were kind to me, but then I realized that it's because of who you _are_. You're honest, and wild, and passionate. You are heaven, and hell, and _everything_ in between, and I am in _awe_ of you." He leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her lips.

  
"Where she was harsh and blinding, you are gentle and radiant. She was the sun, but you were my solar eclipse."

\---

A/N: Kat has an IUD, so don't worry. She ain't gonna get knocked-up.

If you enjoy my writing, please consider supporting me!

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	87. The Edge of Nowhere

\---

Ever since that strange email had appeared in Chae-Young's inbox, Yoosung had been worrying himself sick over her, reluctant to leave her apartment the next day, but also not wanting to appear overly frantic, lest he make her feel too anxious over things. It made him sick that she could be in danger now, simply because of their friendship. _Rika wouldn't really do that, would she?_ In the past, Yoosung wouldn't have hesitated to think that she could never hurt him or someone he loved. Now, he couldn't be too sure. He didn't _want_ to think that Rika could be so cruel, so unfeeling, but the past half-year had proven to him that things rarely turn out the way we expect. He had to act on the assumption that there was not a line Mint Eye wasn't willing to cross. Chae-Young's safety depended on it, and to Yoosung, that security was the most important thing in the world.

  
Seven had _said_ that he would take care of things, but he'd also said a lot of other things in the past, things that had since been proven to be false. Could he really be trusted to follow through now? Now that he'd dismissed RFA as nothing more than something to "pass the time?" _Did he really mean that?_ It was pretty blatantly obvious to RFA that Seven tended to shut down when he started to get emotional about things. Yoosung wanted to believe that that was the case now, that this was Seven's way of putting on a brave face to hide his own vulnerability, his insecurity about his ability to keep everyone safe. Of course he couldn't keep everyone safe all on his own! Unfortunately, Seven, in his infinite wisdom, was too damn stubborn to ask for help. The only way he'd get help would be for someone else to force that help on him.

  
Yoosung wanted to help, but he wasn't quite sure if Seven would accept it. Well, Yoosung would make him accept it. He wasn't just going to sit around at home like a child while his friends were in real danger! Even if it meant putting himself in jeopardy, he needed to do this. Deep down, he didn't believe that Seven didn't care about him, about RFA, and now wasn't the time to let him go without a fight. Yoosung still cared about their friendship, and he wasn't about to abandon it now. Maybe, just this once, he could do something useful, prove his worth to the organization.

  
Of course, that wasn't his primary motivation for doing this. First and foremost, he wanted to do something proactive to protect Chae-Young. He hadn't been able to do that up until now, but the challenge presented itself. He'd be able to prove to her that he wasn't a baby, or a child, or a cute puppy. He could be a man for her now. He could be someone who was there when things got bad, who could protect her, who could make her feel safe and loved. Maybe it was just a little bit selfish in some ways, but if Yoosung's end goal was Chae-Young's safety and happiness, it couldn't be that bad, right?

  
Beginning to formulate a plan, he reached for his cell phone, dialing Jumin's number. The older man picked up quickly, sounding surprised to hear from him.

  
"Yoosung? Have you heard from Luciel? Have there been any developments with Mint Eye?"

  
"I'm sorry, Jumin, I haven't talked to Seven. He seems pretty dead-set on doing everything by himself." Yoosung chewed his lip for a minute. "Actually, I need to ask for a favor?"

  
"A favor? What do you need? I hope this is important."

  
"O-Of course," the younger man stuttered. "I was wondering if, maybe...you could spare one of your security guards for Chae-Young, my friend. I-If it's not too much to ask, of course!"

  
"Is she the one who received the Mint Eye message?"

  
"That's right."

  
"Well..." Jumin was thoughtful for a moment. "I do consider that email to be somewhat threatening. I am having Assistant Kang stay in my home until things are resolved. We probably should arrange something for Miss..."

  
"Kwon."

  
"...for Miss Kwon as well. Please send me her address so that I may send someone to monitor the location." Jumin paused. "You should probably consider your own safety as well."

  
"Actually...I'm going to help Seven."

  
"No," the older man replied firmly. "It's too dangerous for you."

  
"I have to do this," Yoosung insisted. "For Chae-Young."

  
"I thought Luciel didn't want to be helped."

  
"He's getting my help whether he wants it or not."

  
Jumin had to laugh then. "I suppose there's no convincing you otherwise?"

  
"No, sir."

  
"Well then, good luck, and please update me periodically. I know I can count on you for that more than I can Luciel... Oh, and Yoosung?"

  
"Yes?"

  
Jumin's voice softened. "Watch out for yourself."

  
"I will. Thanks, Jumin."

  
\---

  
Yoosung took the steps two at a time to get up to Chae-Young's apartment. After getting off the phone with Jumin, he'd immediately headed for the train station, hoping to inform her of the situation as quickly as possible. He'd seen her online earlier, so presumably, she was still safe for now, but Yoosung couldn't take any chances. Jumin's security guard would be here soon, and everything would be okay. _Right?_ There were so many things he needed to say... she needed to know exactly what was happening, and how she'd be protected, and...

  
Yoosung needed to tell her in no uncertain terms how he felt about her. He didn't want to think negatively, but if something happened...she needed to know that she'd been loved.

  
Chae-Young seemed surprised, but not displeased, to see Yoosung standing there in the doorway. "Yoosung?" She eyed the expression on his face, both worried and frustrated. "What is it? Did something happen?"

  
"Chae, I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay?" She nodded in response. "Good. That email you got before?"

  
"Yeah?"

  
"Well..." Yoosung shifted uncomfortably. "Remember when I told you before that my cousin Rika had started a cult?"

  
Chae-Young's eyes went wide. "No..."

  
He nodded. "She's reaching out to people- friends, coworkers, acquaintances- close to RFA members. I don't know what her motive is. I don't know if she's trying to recruit people in hopes that RFA will eventually join her, or if it's a threat- showing just how far her influence reaches, but I'm concerned about your safety."

  
"Are...Are things really that bad?" Chae-Young looked worried.

  
"Honestly...I don't know. But I've figured out a way to keep you safe. There's a highly-trained security guard coming here. He's going to keep an eye on things, tail you if you go out... You'll be safe."

  
Chae-Young's eyebrows knit together. "But...what about you? Are you going to have security too?"

  
Yoosung's heart swelled with affection for her. Even now she was more concerned about his well-being than her own. He didn't want to leave her. "Actually...I'm going to help Seven. I assume we'll probably find Mint Eye's headquarters and-"

  
"No!" Chae-Young shook her head furiously. "Absolutely not! It's too dangerous!"

  
"I need to do what I can to keep you safe."

  
Chae-Young's stomach tied itself in a tight knot, mouth going dry. The idea of Yoosung putting his life at risk for her sake was too much. It made her dizzy just to think about it. "If you want to help keep me safe, stay here with me. Protect me here." Her voice cracked as she spoke. Part of her believed that maybe she could convince Yoosung to stay, but deep down, she knew he'd already made up his mind. "Please..." Chae-Young could feel tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

  
Yoosung took her hands in his, squeezing them lightly, making her heart race. "I need to do this."

  
"Why?" she croaked. "You could _die_."

  
"It's time for me to step up and be a man." He gripped her hands tightly once more.

  
"That's a bullshit argument," Chae-Young laughed darkly. "It's better to be a coward for a moment than dead for the rest of your life!"

  
Yoosung let go of one of her hands, reaching to tilt her chin up to look at him. Chae-Young felt a rush of color spreading through her face as their eyes met. "I want to be a man _for you_ , Chae-Young."

His voice was husky as he spoke. "I couldn't protect you from everything that happened in your past, but I can protect you now."

  
She shook her head in disbelief. "But...why? Why me?"

  
Yoosung's heart skipped a beat, jaw clenching. "Because I love you."

  
\---

  
Wide, shining eyes gazed up at Yoosung in the wake of his confession. Chae-Young blushed fiercely, but she couldn't quite find the right words. She looked so cute like this, so vulnerable and loving. Yoosung wanted so badly to kiss her.

  
So he did.

  
Leaning down, he slowly closed the gap between himself and Chae-Young. She made no move to stop him. _Do...you want this too?_ Finally they were so close together that he could feel her breath on his lips. She breathed in and out quickly, as if she were nervous, too nervous to initiate the kiss herself. Yoosung did it for her, brushing delicately against her mouth, kissing her- really kissing her- for the very first time. He grew a little bolder and fully connected his lips to hers, lingering there briefly before he began to move. Yoosung closed his eyes, too nervous to see Chae-Young's reaction.

  
She froze as Yoosung made contact, too shocked to do much of anything. She'd always had such a blase attitude toward this sort of thing, but with Yoosung, it was so, so different. She felt as though one wrong touch would shatter him into a thousand pieces, so she moved carefully, maybe too carefully. At the same time, she still espoused the idea that she didn't deserve him, that she should resist... And yet...this felt so pure, so good, so _right_... If Yoosung wanted this, it wouldn't be too selfish, right?

  
Tentatively, Chae-Young kissed him back, trembling as her lips moved delicately; her face felt like it was on fire. She tingled all over, elated to be able to experience this for even a brief moment. This time, Yoosung wasn't kissing her because of some stupid photo shoot, or because he was drunk, or because she was sleeping, but because he wanted it badly enough to actually pursue it. Chae-Young worried that if this continued, they'd end up doing a whole lot more than kissing.

  
She was right. As minutes passed, Yoosung grew impatient, their kiss deepening suddenly as he forced his tongue into her mouth. Chae-Young gasped in surprise, and he interpreted this as a sound of pleasure, hands grasping her tightly as he hummed low against her, kissing more forcefully now. He started moving forward, pushing her into the apartment as he began to reach under her shirt. Yoosung wanted her so badly, wishing to hold her _just once_ before he went. He didn't care if it would be messy, or quick, or awkward. Making love to Chae-Young could never be anything but perfect.

  
As she realized what was taking place, a conscious thought broke through to the forefront of Chae-Young's mind. This was all happening way too quickly. They were too caught up in the heat of the moment. They shouldn't do anything that they'd come to regret later. She pushed Yoosung away, shaking her head as she searched for the right words. "Hold on..." Dizzy, Chae-Young pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers, eyebrows knitting together.

  
"It's okay, you don't have to say anything." Yoosung's tone was hollow. His heart tore itself in two. She really hadn't wanted this after all. Chae-Young didn't want him. She didn't love him. At least, not in the way he desired.

  
"What?" she asked, confused.

  
"I must have misinterpreted how you reacted. I'm sorry."

 

"Sorry for-" _Sorry for what?!_

  
"It was silly to think that you'd ever return my feelings." He shook his head, almost seeming to laugh at himself.

  
Chae-Young began to panic. _Nononononononono..._  She couldn't let things go like this! As much as she honestly believed that Yoosung deserved someone better than herself, she wouldn't break his heart just to appease the negativity inside her. That would be too cruel. She couldn't bear the thought of hurting him. "Yoo-"

  
"Don't, Chae." He turned to leave quickly, voice cracking. Yoosung hurried back down the hallway, desperate to hold himself together until he was out of her sight. How could he have been so wrong, so foolish to think... At the same time, he still loved Chae-Young. Of course he did. Maybe he would always love her, and in time, he'd learn to live with it. Maybe in time this tearing pain in his chest would subside into a dull ache.

  
"Yoosung, wait!" she called out, but it didn't stop him. Her words of desperation weren't enough. Chae-Young slumped onto the floor in her doorway, tears streaming down her face. It was too late now.

  
"I love you too," she murmured into the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know y'all hate my ass right now, but just like...trust me, okay?


	88. Ride or Die

After taking a train to the outskirts of the city, walking all afternoon, and, perhaps, _maybe_ getting lost in the woods a couple of times, Yoosung finally arrived outside Seven's home, hoping that he hadn't installed any new booby traps since Yoosung's last visit. It had taken quite a bit longer to get here than he'd expected, and he cringed as he watched the sun beginning to descend, hoping that Seven hadn't already left. Yoosung stood in front of the main entrance for a couple of moments, the nearby security camera turning to face him, wondering if he was making a huge mistake. Had he wasted his time coming here, knowing how unlikely it was that Seven would actually accept his help? Would he even let him inside? At the very least, Yoosung couldn't leave without giving it a real try. He pressed the intercom button, announcing his arrival. "Go home, Yoosung," Seven's voice replied a moment later.

  
The blond bristled. "I'm not going anywhere. Let me inside."

  
"I told you that I wanted to be left alone," Seven sounded exasperated. Yoosung could practically hear him rolling his eyes dramatically.

  
"I have no intention of doing that either. I'll just keep ringing the bell until you let me in." Seven didn't say anything, choosing to ignore him instead. "I'll do it. Don't test me."

  
Before he could start slamming his finger against the button repeatedly, Yoosung heard a second voice coming from inside. "Saeyoung, just let him in," the female voice implored. Saeyoung? "If he came out here in person, it's probably important."

  
Seven huffed dramatically. "Fine. I'll let you in so that I can hear what you have to say, but I promise nothing!" The lock on the heavy steel door nearby clicked loudly, granting Yoosung entrance.

  
Yoosung had some nerve showing up like this, Seven thought. It deeply annoyed him to see the young man turning up to his home out of the blue like this. This only served to make things much more difficult for Seven and Mina. Did Yoosung not realize that there were more important things to take care of right now? Not to mention, Seven was much more likely to give in to whatever the other man wanted when they were face to face. He'd already kind of figured out why Yoosung had come, and he didn't exactly feel enthusiastic about it. This was why he'd said all of those awful things before! It seemed so much easier to push people away, than to let them put themselves in danger on Seven's behalf. He'd already been forced to give in to Mina, to let her assist. Surely Yoosung didn't expect the same...

  
"What do you want?" Seven asked dryly as soon as the blond set foot in the main room.

  
Yoosung gave him a quizzical look. "I want to help you, of course!" Wasn't that obvious?

  
"No," the other man replied firmly, arms crossed. It didn't phase Yoosung, really; this was the exact reaction he'd been expecting. He'd simply have to stand his ground.

  
"Why not?"

  
Seven sighed, rolling his eyes. He felt as if he were arguing with a child that wanted to stay up and watch cartoons, rather than going to bed. "It's much easier for me to do this alone." _You know what they say: if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself._

  
"You're letting her help you." Yoosung gestured toward the young woman seated comfortably on the couch, already dressed in combat boots and a tight, black tank top, hair neatly secured in a tight bun. She looked up from her laptop to shoot Yoosung a sympathetic glance.

  
" _Mina_ has the right skill set for this sort of thing. She's very clever, and may be an even better hacker than I am." He turned to glare at her as she snickered at his comment. "She and I understand each other well. Thus, we make an ideal team." Seven closed his eyes, tilting his head to the side. "You'll just get in the way."

  
Yoosung was incredulous. "There must be _something_ I can do to help!" He clasped his hands together, as if he were a child begging for a piece of candy in line at the grocery store. "I promise I won't get in the way!" His voice grew desperate. "Please, even if it's something that I can do here while you're gone! You _have_ to let me help you! You can't just keep pushing everyone away, Seven!"

  
Both Mina and Yoosung stared intently at Seven, waiting for his response, hoping that he'd finally back down. He didn't. "It's too dangerous," he said finally. "Both Mina and I have combat training. When we get to Mint Eye, we will most likely meet some form of resistance. Bringing you along would just create an unnecessary risk." Seven's arms dropped to his side, and he looked at Yoosung with softness in his eyes. "If you want to help that badly, go home and wait this out. Keep yourself out of trouble."

  
Yoosung shook his head. "I can't do that, Seven! I know it'll be dangerous! But I have to do this, for Chae-Young!"

  
"You'd be putting your life at risk!"

  
In this moment, Yoosung's normally-cheerful expression was dead-serious. He stared Seven down with fire in his eyes, and venom in his veins. "She is worth it."

  
"I think we should let him come with us!" Mina blurted out suddenly.

  
Seven whipped his head around to stare at her, wild-eyed. "Are you _insane_?"

  
She tilted her head, eyebrows raised. "Saeyoung, do you really think that he's going to take no for an answer? He might stow away in the trunk of the car if you aren't careful." Mina leaned back, sighing and folding her arms across her chest. "Besides, people can surprise you sometimes. I think...if we let Yoosung come with us, he really will give it his all." She turned her head to look at the blond. "I can tell how important this is to him."

  
Seven sighed in exasperation, massaging the temples of his head. He could tell that he was getting nowhere, that he wasn't going to win this one. He'd even started to believe that if Yoosung applied himself, maybe he could help in some way. Still, the idea of having to keep him safe still weighed heavily on Seven. He knew that he and Mina could each take care of themselves, but Yoosung would be an extra responsibility, another thing to worry about. It didn't really matter, though, apparently. This was out of his hands, it seemed. He threw back his head, grumbling in exasperation. "Ugh, FINE."

  
Yoosung looked elated. Seven held up a single index finger. "But! I need to lay out some ground rules if you're going to come with us. First, you need to follow our instructions _exactly_. You have to trust that we know best how to handle this situation. You can't get cavalier on us." The blond nodded in understanding, a look of intense focus on his face. "Second, you may not get to do a lot. You might get stuck carrying bags or keeping watch."

  
Yoosung looked disappointed, but still nodded in agreement. "Okay."

  
"Third..." Seven swallowed hard. "If shit hits the fan, we might not be able to look out for you. There might be situations where you have to hold your own. If we're being chased, and you fall behind, we won't be able to wait for you, or go back for you." The color drained from Yoosung's face, but he gave no indication of having changed his mind. "I don't want you to get hurt, but you have to understand what kind of situation you're putting yourself in. It's your decision to come with us, or stay home. If you choose to stay, I won't think any less of you. I respect that decision."

  
"I'm going with you."

  
Seven shrugged. "I can't understand your reasoning, but it's your choice to make. Maybe you're just better at grand romantic gestures than I am." He turned and walked away, needing to make a few last-minute preparations.

  
Yoosung turned to Mina, cocking an eyebrow. "What did he mean by that?" She got a funny look on her face then, turning slightly red. "Wait... Are you and Seven..."

  
"It's kind of complicated, Mina sighed, gesturing for Yoosung to make himself comfortable on the couch. "I'm not quite sure how to best define our...relationship."

  
"Do you love him? Does he love you?" Yoosung asked her, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

  
"Yes..." She chewed on her lip. "But with Saeyoung, it's not quite that simple. He's very...conflicted about the idea of having a relationship. He thinks it will hinder his ability to keep everyone in RFA safe." She paused, staring at her hands folded in her lap. "He blames himself for the Mint Eye emails."

  
"Why?"

  
"Well...he thinks that maybe he should have acted on it sooner. Instead, he feels that during my time here, he focused too much attention on me, rather than on planning a counter-offensive."

  
"If you don't mind me asking..." Yoosung shifted his gaze away, wondering if this question was maybe too personal. "What brought you here?"

  
"He needed some help with a firewall issue. After we'd finished that project, he felt it was too dangerous for me to leave, because in his eyes, being associated with him would make me a target."

  
Something clicked in Yoosung's mind. "Is that why he pushes everyone away so much? Because he's afraid that he won't be able to protect them if he gets too close to them?"

  
"Pretty much." Mina sighed. "He wants to keep people at arm's length, so that he can make decisions more objectively. He worries that if he gets too emotional, he puts the people he cares about at risk."

  
Yoosung shook his head. "He needs to accept that he can't control everything, and that that's okay."

  
"That's what I said," Mina laughed. "He's too afraid of people putting themselves in danger on his behalf."

  
"That's a decision people have to make for themselves."

  
Mina grinned mischievously, raising her eyebrows. "Like you did for Chae-Young?" Yoosung went a little red, making her snicker harder. "You really love her, huh?"

  
"More than anything in the world," he murmured, staring at his feet. "But...she doesn't love me back."

  
"What makes you say that?" Mina was incredulous. How could anyone not love this sweet boy?

  
"Earlier today...I told her how I felt. I kissed her, and she pushed me away. I left after that, and I haven't heard from her since then. No calls, no texts... Nothing." Yoosung looked like he might cry.

  
Mina sighed. "I don't think you have enough information to really form a solid answer. Have you considered that maybe there's another reason that she might have pushed you away? Maybe she wanted to talk about it, or she just needed a minute to think!"

  
"I guess that's true..."

  
"When you left, did she try to stop you?"

  
"She called after me, but I didn't want to hear her say it." Yoosung bit his lip.

  
"Let me see your phone." Mina held out her hand, and Yoosung pressed the device into her outstretched palm. She flipped it open, giving him a dumb look. "You don't have any service right now! She could be calling and texting you like mad! You don't know!" She handed him the phone back, staring intently into his eyes. "You have to have faith that everything will work out."

  
Seven returned then, looking rather serious. "Mina, can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

  
"Of course." She stood, following him into the kitchen. "What's on your mind?"

  
Seven cast his gaze to the side, feeling his face growing a little warm. "Look, uh...I'm not good at this kind of thing, but... I need you. Whether it's platonic, or romantic, or whatever... I need you by my side, Mina."

  
Mina took his face in her hands, meeting him with her intense green gaze. "I'm here. No matter what."

  
"You really are ride or die, huh?" he laughed softly.

  
"Of course I am. I love you, Saeyoung."

  
Seven closed the gap between them, kissing her softly, delicately. It wasn't a frantic kiss, but nonetheless desperate for her. Neither wanted to end it.

  
Mina whispered softly against him. "Ready to go kick some ass?"


	89. The High Priestess

Turning her head, Chae-Young sighed deeply, the ugly, mustard-yellow velvet of her couch muffling the sound of her voice. She'd been laying here for several hours now, sinking deeper into both the cushions, and her own depression. Her loud wailing had finally subsided, but she still lacked the will to move, more content to wallow here in a pool of her own tears. If only she'd grown a set of testicles and chased after Yoosung, dragged him back to her apartment, and messily confessed her own powerful feelings... Maybe she wouldn't be in this shitty situation right now. _I'm still such a coward..._ In the end, it didn't really matter. Yoosung deserved someone who was just as brave as he, someone worthy of that kind of deep love.

  
Of course she'd tried calling him, over and over, phone going straight to voicemail every time. After that she'd tried texting.

  
"Call me."

  
"Yoosung, call me back!"

  
"Please..."

  
"Please call me."

  
It occurred to Chae-Young that maybe she should text him "I love you," but she'd resisted. She didn't want to confess that sort of thing over text! Whatever, it didn't matter anyway. He wasn't going to respond. Chae-Young wanted to believe that he simply didn't have service right now. After all, Yoosung wouldn't just shut her out like that, would he?

  
All of the prospective dangers facing him returned to her mind, making Chae-Young feel dizzy and nauseated. Her heart sank every time she thought of Yoosung putting himself in that kind of situation. He'd made such a reckless decision, high-risk, low-reward. All of this, just because he loved Chae-Young. _I'm not worth all that._ She didn't care if he was brave, or if he could protect her; she just wanted him back here with her, where she could see him, touch him, kiss him... _Please... Please come home to me safe. Just let my love be enough._

  
One of her less-flattering traits, Chae-Young was a rather negative-minded person by nature. She found it difficult to see the positives of a situation, to keep her optimism when all seemed to be lost. Right now, she could only imagine every horrible possibility, her mind filled with grotesque images. Oh well, she'd much rather be this way. She didn't want to get her hopes up. When Chae-Young thought pessimistically, she'd either be right, or she'd be pleasantly surprised. Yet...in this moment, she felt desperate for something to hold on to, to remind her that all was not lost, something to keep her from sinking deeper and deeper into a pit of despair.

  
Chae-Young didn't necessarily consider herself a religious person, or even spiritual. To be honest, she'd never had much need for it, preferring to rely on herself for hope. It simply wasn't something she thought about too much. In this moment, however, she could see its purpose. Sometimes, you needed to have faith in something bigger than yourself, that humanity wasn't just spinning through the cosmos aimlessly. Sometimes you needed a reminder that there was good in the world, that there was a reason to hold on. In the end, Chae-Young knew that what would be would be, but if it would help bring Yoosung back safe, she'd pray to every god and goddess known to man.

  
Truthfully, she only really knew one person that she could really consider "spiritual." Chae-Young reached for her phone, sending a quick text to Momoka. "Are you home?

  
\---

  
Receiving an affirmative reply, Chae-Young reluctantly rolled off of the couch, shoving her feet into a pair of high-tops that had been unceremoniously tossed aside the last time she arrived home. She hurried outside and down the stairs, speed-walking the couple of blocks over to Momoka's apartment building. She let Chae-Young in before she could deliver a second knock to the front door, making her jump. Momoka's face changed the second she saw Chae-Young's, brow furrowing in concern. "Chae-Young, did something happen?"

  
"It's...a really long story," she sighed, shaking her head. "But to make it short...Yoosung ran off to go fight a religious cult."

  
"O-Okay?" Momoka made a face, clearly not expecting that sort of answer.

  
"Basically, his cousin started it, and they reached out to me recently, and he's all worried about me-"

  
"Because he's in love with you," she finished, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

  
"Y-Yes. I'm really worried about him. I... I'm not a religious person, but right now, I need something to believe in. I need to believe that he'll come back safe." Chae-Young paused, chewing her lip. "You told me once that you read tarot."

  
"Do you want me to do a reading for you?" Momoka touched Chae-Young's arm gently. She nodded. "I'd be happy to do it for you." She led her friend inside, selecting a deck of cards from a tall bookcase. "You need to keep in mind that the results can be kind of vague. The cards won't necessarily tell you explicitly what is going to happen. I'll do my best to interpret." Momoka paused, looking over to another shelf in the corner, holding various candles, crystals, and dried plants. "There... _is_ more I can do, besides divination."

  
Chae-Young swallowed hard, mouth suddenly dry. "Like what?"

  
"It's going to sound very strange to you, but I could do a couple of spells. I don't know if you'd want that, though. You're willing to suspend your disbelief for tarot, but actual spellwork might be a bit far in your eyes." Momoka laughed softly, understanding how odd her religion could seem to outsiders.

  
Chae-Young wasn't bothered. "It does sound...different, but I'm trying to keep an open mind. How does it work, exactly?"

  
"It's not like, B&B magic or anything. A spell can't _force_ something to happen, but it can...help things along a little. Intent is a very powerful thing. I could do a protective spell, but I'd need your help. I can see how powerful your emotions are right now. That can amplify the power of the spell."

  
"I want to give it a try." She shifted her gaze. "If...you can do a protective spell... Can you do something that's the opposite?"

  
"Like a spell to keep someone from harming others? You mean a binding spell." Momoka reached for a small, leather-bound book, browsing through it.

  
"Can we do that too? I want to do everything I can. Nothing's too much to me, because...I love Yoosung too." Chae-Young's face flushed red.

  
"Obviously." Momoka continued turning pages, completely unfazed.

  
\---

  
Gesturing for Chae-Young to have a seat on the floor, Momoka dragged a small table into the center of the room. She placed a small clay bowl in the center, it's white porcelain surface left unglazed, marked only by a jarringly red crecent moon in its belly, color burned into the clay. "Is this one of your pieces, Momo?"

  
"Mmm. One of the first ones I sagger-fired: copper wire on porcelain." She pulled a bundle of herbs from a paper bag, spays of lavender and sage bound tightly with twine, laying it gently in the bowl. Momoka struck a match, pressing it against the end of the bundle until tiny embers began to glow within it, long wisps of smoke curling up into the air. Carefully, so as not to extinguish the flame, she wafted it toward Chae-Young, and then herself, bathing them in the fragrant vapor.

  
She added two pillar candles to the table, one white, and one deep purple, with intricate symbols carved into them. Momoka lit them from the burning herbs, and began murmuring in a language that Chae-Young could not understand, her voice low, eerie, and ancient. Chae-Young was struck with the sublimity of it all. Once she'd finished, Momoka shuffled the deck in her hands, ensuring that she played no role in selecting the cards.

  
"May the Crone grant me wisdom." Momoka lifted the top card from the deck, laying it face up. "The Star." Chae-Young's eyes widened as she gasped audibly. Momoka simply chuckled softly in response. "Sometimes they do get rather literal. I think we can safely interpret The Star to represent Yoosung. Now..." She lifted the next two cards. "Let's see if we can find out what most concerns him at this point in time." She placed the next card below the first. "Strength. As would seem obvious, this card represents _inner_ strength."

  
"Before he left...Yoosung said...that he needed to be strong for me." Chae-Young's mind raced. This was just a little _too_ real.

  
"Next is... The Devil. The Devil represents control, deception, manipulation. Could this be the cousin you mentioned before?" The three cards lay in a triangular configuration, with the Star at the apex. "Now, these two things on Yoosung's mind, shall we try and see how they will resolve?"

  
"Tell me."

  
"Let's start with 'Strength.' We've taken it to symbolize his devotion to you, his desire to protect you..." Momoka flipped over the next card and placed it below, grimacing as she looked. "The Three of Swords. Unfortunately, it represents great suffering." Chae-Young's stomach dropped, and her face grew pale. "However, you've already suffered a great deal, haven't you? You're suffering right now, awaiting Yoosung's return. I'll flip one more, and that should tell us the ending." Momoka smiled gently, relieved as she laid the final card. "The Lovers. He's going to come home to you, Chae-Young. I believe it with everything in me."

  
"What about the other stuff?"

  
"Ah, The Devil." Momoka turned the next card. "The Hanged Man." She looked at the card for a few minutes in confusion, thinking. "Perhaps...this cousin...has a follower, someone they've manipulated and deceived, who has resigned himself to his fate. Maybe this person will be important to you, or Yoosung, or even myself in some way. Perhaps this person will find peace through...The...High Priestess." Momoka sat there in shock for a few minutes, not quite sure what to say or what to think. "Anyway...we should move on to the spell work now."

  
Silent, she cleared most of the things from the table, leaving only a couple of cards, and the bowl of smoldering herbs. On one side of the table, she arranged the Star card with Strength laying across it protectively. Momoka reached for another candle, this one red. "A red candle represents vitality, health, and love. She passed it over to Chae-Young, along with a small metal stylus. "Carve Yoosung's name into it, focusing all of your love for him on this action." Chae-Young did as she was told, allowing the person she loved most in this world to completely cloud her mind; the way he smiled at her, his cute voice, the way his mouth felt against hers, the way he sounded when he whimpered in delight against her. Once she'd finished, she passed the candle back to Momoka, who added her own protective sigil. "Now, we just need a bit of you."

  
"A-A bit of me?"

  
"A strand of hair, a drop of saliva... Something like that. You give of yourself to protect another."

  
Chae-Young bit her lip. "What about... What about _fluids_?"

  
Momoka stopped her carving to look at her. "You mean like vaginal fluids?" She was a little too nonchalant about this, Chae-Young thought. "There's a lot of power in bodily fluids- blood, semen, tears, vaginal secretions... If you're comfortable with it, I urge you to use them. You should use whatever you feel best conveys your feelings." She passed the candle back. "Wipe it onto the sigil, if you can." Chae-Young shoved her hand down the front of her pants, and a minute later she placed the candle carefully on the table, feeling rather embarrassed.

  
Momoka had already begun preparation for the binding spell, carving symbols into a black candle. "Do you know the cousin's name?"

  
"It's Rika."

  
She passed the candle to Chae-Young. "You know the drill."

  
"Do you think...I could put blood on this one?" Chae-Young asked as she carved.

  
"We can...but keep in mind that blood magic is very, very powerful. I'll need to take extra precautions." Momoka stood up and went over to her shelves, returning with a jar of salt and a small razor-blade, which she handed to her friend. "Be very careful with that. It's incredibly sharp." Chae-Young pressed the metal against the tip of her finger, hissing as the deep red fluid began to bead up against her flesh. She smeared it onto the black wax before going to wash her hands. When she returned, Momoka had created a ring of salt around the binding candle. "Just to be safe. Once the candle has burned out, I'll bury what remains." She struck a match, lighting first the red candle, then the black. "So mote it be," she whispered.

  
Chae-Young echoed her, the reflection of the flames flickering in her eyes. "So mote it be."

\-----

A/N: An important note: When Momoka burns the herbs, she is not smudging. Smudging refers to a specific Native American practice which is not related to Wicca or Witchcraft at all. What she is doing is a more general smoke cleansing. Here's a good resource which compares and contrasts the two practices, if you'd like to know more:

http://thiscrookedcrown.tumblr.com/post/34726638346/smudging-smoke-cleansing-a-comparative-post


	90. Family Reunion

Shifting uncomfortably in the back seat of Seven's car, Yoosung tugged on the seat belt, which had begun to rub irritatingly against his neck again. He looked out the window for what had to be the millionth time, desperate for something to occupy his attention. A thousand identical trees filled the view; they'd left the city for the quiet, dimly-lit woods. Yoosung settled back in his seat, another wave of nervousness washing over him. Of course he'd questioned his decision to come along, though not enough to keep him from seeing this through. They'd be arriving at Mint Eye headquarters any time now, and things would only get hairy from there. A dangerous, and arduous task lay ahead, the severity of the situation underlined by the absolute silence filling the car.

  
It had been quiet like this for hours now. When they'd first climbed into the vehicle, there'd been some light, but pleasant chatter, mostly related to the task at hand, but now the car was as silent as the grave. Both Seven and Mina occupied themselves; Seven with driving, and Mina with her computer, the tapping of her fingers on the keys the only sound audible over the hum of the car. They'd been in here forever, it seemed. Yoosung bit his lip to resist asking "Are we there yet?" That question might get something thrown at his head. He cocked an eyebrow. _I could swear we passed that tree already..._ They couldn't be driving in circles, right? In any case, Yoosung knew better than to question it; if they were indeed driving around aimlessly, there had to be a good reason for it.

  
Finally, _finally_ , Seven slowed the vehicle to a stop, turning off the engine. Yoosung looked outside again to see that it had been parked in a shady, hidden area, sheltered by thick vines and overgrown bushes. "Are...Are we there?" he whispered tentatively.

  
"We're close. The property is just on the other side of those bushes," Seven told him, taking care to open the car door as quietly as possible. Yoosung nodded, very carefully sliding the driver's seat forward to climb out of the back. He sighed quietly, trying to focus his mind. This was really happening. _It's time to be serious._

  
Seven held back the branch of a bush to allow the three of them to peer through. An absolutely massive mansion greeted them, "Mint Eye" painted rather foolishly on the outside. _If you're going to start a super-secret religious cult, why would you put the name right there on the building?!_ It was the kind of building you'd never expect to find in a place like this, surrounded by nothing but trees and wildlife for several miles on every side. "It's huge!" Yoosung whispered. "How did Rika get the money to build something like this?!"

  
"She used the money that RFA raised. She always claimed that it was for a 'good cause,' but she never made it clear what she meant by that. _This_ is what she meant," Seven explained.

  
"So all this time...RFA's been nothing but a lie..."

  
The redhead sighed. "For a long time, yes. It was built on a lie. But...things aren't like that anymore. RFA is something we can believe in now."

  
"I can't believe she built all this with the RFA money," Yoosung commented, amazed.

  
"And V's money."

  
"What?"

  
"Back when V started trying to get better, he gave me some documents he'd been keeping: notes on his investigation into Mint Eye. I found out that she'd lied to him, asking for money to fund her therapy, to pay for her medication...but she'd been secretly using it to form Mint Eye. Sooner or later you're going to have to realize just how much Rika abused him- emotionally, physically, financially...In retrospect it's no wonder he reacted to things the way he did."

  
"At least...we know he had good intentions," Yoosung offered. "Anyway, how are we going to get in?"

  
Reaching into the tactical bag strapped to her hip, Mina pulled out a small tablet computer, turning it on. She opened up a file, and several floor plans appeared on the screen.

  
"H-How did you get these?" Yoosung asked in amazement.

  
"Didn't I tell you? She's very clever." Seven couldn't help beaming with pride as he spoke.

  
Mina pointed to the plan. "Here are the main corridors which run throughout the building. We need to try and avoid those as much as possible, since they'll have the most traffic." She enlarged the graphic. "We'll be using these smaller hallways. They wind around more, but it's a safer bet that we can move through them unnoticed. The computer system's mainframe is located...here. Destroy it, and we might destroy a good deal of their plans, their information. More importantly, Objective A will most likely be located here, in the main living quarters."

  
"Objective A?" Yoosung looked confused for a moment, but he quickly understood. "Rika."

  
\---

  
Seven walked back over to the car, popping the trunk and motioning for Yoosung and Mina to join him. He unrolled a blanket to reveal a large stockpile of weapons- a wide assortment of handguns, a couple of sniper rifles, and several very nasty-looking knives. Seven began checking to ensure that all were loaded as Mina helped herself, slinging a rifle across her back, and sliding the smaller firearms into the holsters on her hips and at her sides. "Do you really think we'll need that much?" Yoosung suddenly seemed rather concerned.

  
Mina shrugged. "Better safe than sorry." She selected a large tactical knife, sheathed in leather, and handed it to him. "You'll be happy we have this stuff if and when things start to get messy."

  
She sat perched by the bushes for some time with a pair of binoculars, studying the habits of the guards out front- when they moved, and how long it took them to get back. Once she felt it was safe, she motioned for Seven and Yoosung to follow. "Go!" Mina whisper-shouted, crouching low and moving fast. They pressed themselves flat against the wall, moving slowly to the side until they reached the front door. A complicated-looking electronic lock protected the building, seemingly unbreachable. Mina dove her hand into her bag, retrieving an equally high-tech device, which she attached to the lock without a second thought. Her machine beeped and whirred, and without any difficulty, the light on the door blinking green, chirping pleasantly. Seven opened the door just a smidge, just wide enough for himself and his companions to creep through. Yoosung hesitantly let out a small sigh of relief. _So far, so good._

  
Creeping slowly through the hallways, the trio moved with bated breath, ready to be surprised at any moment by one of Rika's numerous followers and guards. Mina located a small electrical box, opening it quickly and thumbing through the mess of wires. Finding one marked "surveillance" she clipped it with a pair of pliers, and the cameras hiding in the corners ceased their activity. "We need to move quickly now," she warned. "Since at least part of the surveillance system has gone down, they're sure to get suspicious."

  
As if on cue, a loud voice echoed down the hallway. "Hey-" By the time Yoosung looked up, the man had already been quieted, cut off by a soft clink from Mina's handgun, silencer attached.

  
He tried not to think about it too much, convincing himself that this was somehow necessary. "Besides getting Rika, what else are we going to do?"

  
"Well," Mina began, peering around a corner for more security guards, "Rika's...not the only one we're taking alive."

  
"Mina..." Seven warned.

  
"Saeyoung, if he's willing to come with us, and put himself at risk to help us...he should know too."

  
"Is it one of Rika's followers?" Yoosung guessed. Both Mina and Seven were silent, exchanging a glance. "Who is it?"

  
Seven finally responded, mouth dry. "Look, it's a long story, and I can explain it all to you later, but...it's my twin brother, Saeran." Yoosung clamped a hand over his mouth to silence the loud gasp that escaped him. "After we get him, and Rika, we're going to blow this place to Hell."

  
Yoosung knew better than to ask any more questions after that, instead changing the subject. "How will we get to Rika?"

  
"That," Mina explained, "will be a little bit complicated. She's likely to have a lot of people protecting her, so we'll have to be strategic. When it's time, I'm going to split off from the two of you, so that we can surprise her, and her guards, from two sides. We'll surround them, I'll pick off the guards with this puppy..." she patted her sniper rifle just a little too affectionately. "...and we'll take her. I expect she'll fight us every step of the way, but three against one isn't so great for the one."

  
\---

  
The hallway suddenly forked off in two separate directions. "Well, I guess this is it," Mina smirked, almost nervously. She turned away to take her own path, but Seven grabbed her hand.

  
"Wait." Mina turned back, her eyes widening just a little as he reached around his neck to pull of his silver cross necklace. He pressed it into her palm, lifting her closed hand to press a quick kiss against her knuckles. "For good luck."

  
"I don't need luck," she grinned, hanging the chain around her neck anyway. "But I suppose just a little couldn't hurt." Before she could change her mind, she turned and walked away, hand resting on her sidearm. Seven and Yoosung watched her go for just a moment before moving along their own way, with Seven just a touch more anxious that before.

  
Finally they reached the door they'd so long sought; simple, but marked with a tell-tale eye symbol. It was guarded only by a simple mechanical lock, and Seven picked it easily, allowing them to slip quickly inside. For a supposedly-devout religious leader, Rika certainly lived lavishly. No wonder she'd needed to take money under false pretenses! No one would be quite so generous if they knew their donations would be spent on gold embossing and silk brocade! Two guards came around the corner, but Seven put them down before they could utter a single word of protest. Two more followed behind, then four, then six...until Yoosung and Seven were completely surrounded.

  
"Who are you?!" One demanded.

  
"Why are you here?!"

  
"How dare you threaten our Savior?!"

  
"I ought to shoot you where you stand!"

  
"I don't think that will be _quite_ necessary," a female voice purred, familiar and foreign at the same time. Rika herself appeared before them, her blonde hair falling into soft curls which descended down the front and back of her elaborate silk robes. She tilted her head knowingly, condescendingly. "Luciel, what are you doing here? I told you that I would take care of everything. Do you not trust me anymore?" She was merely playing dumb, of course, playing with her food before she devoured it whole. "And, I'd know those eyes anywhere." Yoosung flinched as she took his hands in her ice-cold grip, squeezing just a _little_ too tightly in warning. "You've gotten so tall! You're a man now!" A chill ran down his spine. Rika's smile dropped. "It was very foolish for the two of you to come here."

  
A series of loud pops echoed through the room, guards dropping like flies. Rika spun around in confusion, drawing a large knife from under her garments and waving it around until another blade met her throat, and she dropped her weapon in surrender. Mina kicked it over to Seven, tentatively letting the woman out of her grip. "Don't try anything funny. I won't hesitate, bitch."

  
Rika began to realize the severity of the situation. "Yoosung, really... You wouldn't do this to your _beloved cousin_ , right?"

  
Yoosung shook his head in disbelief. "You hurt so many people... I can't support what you did! You need to stop!"

  
" _Hurt_ people? I only wanted them to join my everlasting party!"

  
"Oh, it that what you call sending threatening emails?" he snapped back at her.

  
"Oh...right." Rika rolled her eyes. "Your little _girlfriend_... Honestly, I can't believe you'd ever choose that little whore over me." She clicked her tongue in disapproval.

  
"How... _dare_...you... Don't you _ever_ talk about her like that again." Yoosung clenched his fists, growling through his teeth.

  
Rika put on an air of sympathy. "Surely you must know _just_ how many men she's been with-"

  
"That doesn't matter to me..."

  
"Or maybe you just think she'll be an easy lay. Is that it?" She shrugged. "Well, if it's _sex_ you want...even _I_ can give you that."

  
"Don't be disgusting." Yoosung grimaced.

  
"Or, if you join me, and you bring her too.... I can make her compliant."

  
He reeled back. "I would _never_...

  
"Is that what you did to Saeran?! You made him compliant?!" Seven cut in, eyes flashing with rage.

  
Rika could see that she wasn't getting very far. "Have you forgotten? How V lied to you? You can't _really_ see him as an ally, right? And yet, here you are, risking your lives for _him_."

  
"V did what he thought was best for RFA. He didn't want you hurting anyone else the way you hurt him! You... _manipulated_ me. You didn't care about me, you didn't care about V... You only care about yourself."

  
"Oh, yes, big, bad Rika manipulated her poor baby cousin! Like you didn't _thrive_ on the attention."

  
"That's exactly the problem!" Yoosung shouted back. "You knew how I needed that validation, and you made me dependent on it, on you! You knew that I'd falter the second I didn't have it anymore. Say what you will about Chae-Young...but she never _used_ me. She helped me realize that the only person I need is myself." He swallowed hard, staring her in the eyes. 

  
"I can be strong all on my own."


	91. error_file_corrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A little bit of violence in this one. Not too graphic though.

Vanderwood smashed his foot against the brake to avoid slamming into the deer that had very stupidly decided to camp out in the middle of his path, thankful that he didn't have any cars behind him on this empty back road. According to his tracking software, Luciel should only be about twenty more kilometers away; hopefully he'd come along cooperatively. Despite his mild annoyance, Vanderwood did feel concerned for the young man. Luciel's behavior had been rather erratic recently, and while the handler knew that it had to have something to do with that charity organization, he felt certain that there had to be more to it than that. Luciel hadn't contacted him with any kind of update in several days; normally he would send a brief text message every couple of days, at the very least. Vanderwood was beginning to grow concerned that this current project wouldn't be done on time. More importantly, he'd begun to worry about Luciel's emotional state. He'd been on-edge recently, his behavior unpredictable. Vanderwood could tell that his agent wasn't in a good place. Luciel's decision to up and run out here concerned him the most. He needed to bring him home as soon as possible. If he could just get him to finish this one last project, Vanderwood felt certain that he'd be able to postpone more work for Luciel for a while, letting him rest up and deal with other things. Thank god he'd installed those trackers on all of Luciel's cars the last time he went to "air up the tires."

  
\---

  
"What exactly are you trying to do here?" Rika smirked lightly, arrogantly, raising her eyebrows.

\  
"Time's up, Rika. Mint Eye has caused enough trouble. You're coming with us." Seven held up a thick zip tie, indicating his intention to bind her wrists to move her more easily.

  
Rika scoffed. "Do you _really_ think my people will let you just...waltz out of here with their _savior_ as your prisoner?" She looked incredulous, perhaps putting a little too much faith in how highly her followers regarded her.

  
Mina drew a handgun from the holster on her hip. "They will if I've got a gun against your skull."

  
"Why are you doing this?" Rika narrowed her eyes.

  
"Because what you're doing isn't right!"

  
Rika's voice was condescending. "According to _whom_ , Yoosung? Who are _you_ to tell me what is and isn't _right_? Morality is subjective."

  
"Maybe," Seven answered. "But hurting others for your own selfish gain is pretty morally objectionable to most people."

  
"So, what's next for me, huh?" Rika sneered. "Don't tell me V _still_ thinks he can fix me." She shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with me."

  
"There are a hell of a lot of things wrong with you!" Mina gave her a look that seemed to say _"Are you fucking kidding me?"_

  
"V couldn't care less about you," Seven taunted.

  
Rika's lip curled. "No, because he ran crying to some bitch who thought she could fix him. I'll tell you right now- she can't. You can't 'fix' a narcissist like that. _He's_ the one with issues."

  
"He only has problems because of you, because of what you did to him." Yoosung clenched his fists.

  
"You want to know what's going to happen next, Rika?" Seven put his hands on his hips, sighing. "You're going to answer for what you've done. If I had it my way, you'd go straight to prison."

  
"Or maybe," Rika hissed, walking toward him, "they'll find me 'not guilty by reason of insanity.' I'm really good at pretending to be..." She circled her fingers around her head, eyes going wide. "...crazy."

  
"You don't have to pretend, edgelord," Mina muttered. "In any case, they'll still lock you up where you can't hurt anyone. Who knows, maybe they'll even help you get better."

  
"Don't be ridiculous!" Rika spit. "Can't you see that I'm perfect just the way I am?!"

  
"And you think _V's_ narcissistic," Yoosung snorted.

  
"You know, I hate to ruin the moment, but you won't be taking her anywhere."

  
\---

  
Mina squeaked in surprise as a lithe young man with hair bleached white grabbed her, cocking the large, silver pistol in his hand. He nodded to Rika, letting her know that she could go now and get to safety, and no one would do a damn thing about it. Neither Seven, nor Yoosung would risk Mina's life for this; they'd simply have to just watch her go. Rika lingered for a moment, just long enough to stroke the young man's face affectionately as she uttered a few words of praise. "You've done well, precious one. You will be rewarded for your service to your beloved savior." She walked briskly from the room, robes streaming behind her, and the young man waited, standing completely still until he could be certain that Rika had reached safety. The loud whir of a helicopter could be heard overhead as she made her getaway to god-knows-where.

 

  
"You do know who I am, don't you, Saeyoung?" The young man laughed as Seven stammered, looking for the right words. "Who am I kidding? Of _course_ you know!"

  
Seven's hands began to shake, his mind spinning in circles, unable to focus. He'd known that if all went according to plan, he'd see his twin brother once again, after so many long years apart. Yet, nothing could have prepared him for this moment of reckoning, of seeing just how much the years of Rika's influence had corrupted him. He looked so... Seven couldn't think of any word or phrase other than "fucked-up." He had a wild look in his eyes, as if he weren't quite all-there anymore. He'd lost a great deal of weight in the years they'd been apart. Saeran was rail-thin, eyes deep-set against his protruding cheekbones. _Has Rika not been feeding him?_ He didn't look at all like the sweet, sensitive, albeit timid young boy Seven had left behind, a little too _Black Parade_ to be instantly recognizable to anyone but him. _What did Rika do to you?! My sweet brother..._ "Saeran...please..."

  
"I suppose you expect me to go easy on you?" Saeran sighed, shoving Mina to the floor. He gestured toward Seven with his weapon. "You abandoned me, Saeyoung. You didn't want me to hold you back anymore, so you dumped me with the first person who offered."

  
"It's not like that, Saeran! I didn't know what she would do to you!" Seven was on the verge of tears.

  
"Oh! So what you're saying is...you left me with someone whom you didn't even _really_ know!"

  
"She _promised_ that she'd take good care of you! I genuinely believed that Rika was a good person!" he screamed in response, voice wavering.

  
"Oh, no no no no no," Saeran chided, wagging a finger at him. " _Rika's_ not the villain here. _She_ was there for me when _you_ weren't."

  
Seven's voice dropped to a whisper. "What did she do to you, Saeran?"

  
Saeran stepped over to him, tapping his finger playfully against his twin's nose. "She... _saved_ me."

  
"Please come home."

  
Saeran scoffed. "Saeyoung, don't be stupid. Isn't it obvious?" He stretched his arms out, gesturing around the room. "This _is_ my home."

  
Hearing a quiet, metallic _click_ , he turned, scarcely bothered to see that Mina had turned her weapon on him. He chuckled disapprovingly, shaking his head. "Oh, no no no, love! Don't be like that!" Calling her bluff, he pointed his own firearm at her, cocking an eyebrow as if to say _"I dare you."_ "You wouldn't shoot your dear future brother-in-law! Don't even pretend." Saeran knelt down next to her, grabbing her face roughly with one hand, making her gasp in surprise, and mashed the barrel of his gun against the side of her head. Mina whimpered in fear, eyes growing large as she began to hyperventilate. "You left me all alone, Saeyoung." He gave a sinister grin. "Maybe I should make it so that _you're_ all alone too."

  
Seven dropped to his knees, shaking violently. "Saeran...please!"

  
"No, I'm better than that." Saeran turned his gun away from Mina, letting go of her throat and snickering eerily. He stood up again, still pointing his weapon at her, lest she make any sudden moves.

  
Yoosung watched the scene unfold in horror, terrified to know how all of this would end. There seemed to be no way out now. Seven's twin brother couldn't be reasoned with; the years spent here under Rika's influence had clearly unhinged him. Held at gunpoint, Mina couldn't do anything. Seven _wouldn't_ do anything, out of fear that she'd be harmed. They were at an impasse now, completely subject to whatever pleased Saeran most. If they had any chance of getting out of here alive, it would be up to Yoosung to do something. It would be messy; he wasn't a fighter or a strategist, and he certainly wouldn't be able to convince Saeran to just let them go. The only option would be to create a diversion long enough for Mina and Seven to escape. Yoosung's mind began to spin as he realized that he might be killed doing something like this. At the same time, he knew that he would have to try. Focused intently, he watched Saeran's movements, waiting for an opening.

  
\---

  
Finally Saeran turned his back, completely unconcerned with what Yoosung was doing, assuming that he'd be too timid to try anything. He'd gravely miscalculated. _Now!_ Yoosung lurched forward, and Mina's eyes grew wide as she realized what he was doing.

  
"What are you looking at-" Saeran turned his head to look back over his shoulder to see the blond coming at him. He fired one shot off before being tackled to the floor, and Mina shrieked in surprise and pain, grabbing at her injured arm. The weapon skittered across the floor as it came loose from Saeran's hand, and she grabbed it, yanking out the clip. Saeran thrashed about in Yoosung's grip; he was unarmed now, but still a nasty fighter.

  
Saeran fought like a wild animal, howling in protest the entire time. He lacked formal training, but his years in Mint Eye had made him mean and ruthless. On the other hand, Yoosung had never fought anyone in his life, never having needed to do so. Still, he did what he could, survival the only thing on his mind. They scratched and clawed at one another; Yoosung could have sworn that Saeran bit him once or twice, though not hard enough to draw blood. The blond threw a punch, putting as much force behind it as he could, managing to land it square against Saeran's jaw, making him hiss loudly in pain. Saeran's hand came at his own face, and though Yoosung made a move to guard himself, his opponent was simply too strong, prying the protective digits away. A searing pain met Yoosung's left eye, tears beginning to spill from it due to the horrifying sensation. He wriggled away, crying out in agony and holding both hands over his face.

  
Finally free from his scrap, Saeran scrambled to his feet, seeing his chance to make a break for it. Mina drew her sidearm, managing to get a couple of shots off as he fled the room. Saeran hissed as one bulled embedded itself in his thigh, but he didn't let it slow him down too much. After all, his savior's drugs dulled his senses to a certain extent; he felt discomfort less intensely than most people. _Physical_ discomfort, anyway. As he had anticipated, Saeyoung made no move to stop him, too caught up in himself, as usual. Blood beginning to trickle down his leg, Saeran fled the building, eager to rejoin his savior. Outside, he had no such luck. He was grabbed from behind by someone taller and stronger than himself, and was hauled unceremoniously over to a waiting vehicle and tossed into the back set.

  
"Let's go, Luciel."

  
\---

  
Shaking a little from the ordeal, Mina picked herself up off the ground, looking at the sorry state of her companions. This had all gone to hell in a hand-basket rather quickly, and they needed to get out of here as soon as possible. She went over to Yoosung, gently helping him to his feet. Mina tugged his hands away from his face. "Let me look." Whimpering in pain, he opened his injured eye as much as he could muster, and Mina felt the color drain from her face as she examined the wound. "Oh shit, oh Jesus. This is bad."

  
"How bad?" Yoosung whispered.

  
"I-I can't tell right now. There's too much blood." Mina dug into her bag and pulled out a roll of gauze, wrapping it hastily around his head. "We'll go straight to the emergency room. You're gonna be okay, I promise." She drew a handgun once more. "We need to get out of here. _Now._ "

  
Yoosung following her shakily, she went over to Seven, who still sat there on his knees, staring at the floor in disbelief. "Let's go, Saeyoung." She dragged him to his feet, tapping her hands against his face several times to snap him out of his haze.

  
"O-Okay..." he murmured, clearly still troubled.

  
A large commotion could be heard outside, and Mina yanked on Seven's hand, urging him to follow. Their only option now was to simply make a run for it. The sound of gunshots echoed off the walls of the hallway as Rika's Mint Eye followers pursued them. Yoosung could suddenly feel a searing ache in the back of his shoulder; he could only imagine that he'd been shot. The sensation was unfathomably agonizing; he felt as though he might throw up from the pain. Nevertheless, he continued on, focusing everything on getting out of here, on getting home safe, and more importantly, alive. He could see Mina dropping small bundles behind her as she ran; Yoosung could only assume that they were explosives.

  
Making at back through the front door at last, they hit full sprint, diving through the bushes just as the building's windows blew out from the force of the detonation, flames licking through and belching smoke that climbed high above the treetops. Mina slung the driver's seat forward, shoving Seven into the back where he could have an existential crisis in peace. She slid inside to take the wheel, motioning for Yoosung to ride shotgun as she tossed more gauze to him. He eyed the blood oozing down her arm, horrified. "You're bleeding! Did... Did that happen when I tackled Saeran?"  
She sighed, gunning the engine. "Yes, but don't worry about it. What you did probably saved our lives, Yoosung. Besides, the bullet just grazed me." She held up the crumpled bit of metal. "I'm totally fine."

  
"You should probably still cover it," he murmured, tearing open the package containing the sterile pad.

  
Mina waved him off. "We can't keep Chae-Young waiting!"


	92. My Handsome Star Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Content warning for sex stuff.

\---

Chae-Young half-heartedly dragged her paintbrush across the canvas, struggling to focus on the task at hand. She'd assumed that maybe she'd be able to take her mind off of things for a little while by parking herself in front of her painting, but it didn't seem to be doing much to help. She still felt terribly worried about Yoosung, even after having gone to see Momo the day before. After all, what could a simple deck of cards _really_ know about the future, anyway? Yoosung still hadn't returned any of her calls or texts, and she hadn't received any news indicating that he'd returned, safely or otherwise. Chae-Young wanted to believe that no news was good news, and that if shit had indeed hit the fan, she'd have heard something by now. If only he would come home to her, she wouldn't ever ask for anything else as long as she lived.

  
After some time her phone finally did ring, making her jump. She grabbed for it, heart racing. "Yuki?"

  
Yuki's voice was low and grave-sounding, making her immediately assume the worst. "Chae-Young... There's been an accident... Yoosung, he..."

  
Chae-Young thought she might pass out, the room starting to spin. "Oh god..." Her voice cracked, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as she leaned against her work table to steady herself.

  
"He was injured pretty badly." Yuki's voice wavered.

  
"I'm... I'm coming right now." Chae-Young shoved her feet into the first pair of sandals she could find. She trembled all over, her worst fears seeming to come true. "D-Do you know which hospital?" She scratched the directions Yuki gave her onto a scrap of paper and hurried out the door, not even bothering to clean her expensive paint brushes. They'd be ruined, but Chae-Young didn't care. Yoosung was more important anyway.

  
Swinging into the driver's seat of her car, Chae-Young had officially reached full panic mode. She could feel herself sweating profusely, though not from the Summer heat, as her stomach turned back-flips, the sparse lunch she'd forced herself to eat five or six hours before threatening to make a second appearance. She wanted to cry, if only to ease some of the potent emotions boiling inside her, but she resisted for the time being; she needed to see to drive after all. It would all come out at the hospital, anyway. Praying that she wouldn't get pulled over, Chae-Young drove like a maniac to get downtown, swerving in and out of traffic, perhaps putting her own life on the line just to get back to the man she loved. She wanted to believe that once they were reunited, everything would be okay.

  
She nearly vomited as the idea occurred to her that perhaps Yoosung was dead, and that Yuki hadn't had the heart to tell her over the phone.

  
No, that wasn't the case. Chae-Young refused to believe it, holding herself together as she strode briskly down the hospital hallway, picking up her pace when she recognized Yuki, Hyun, Yoosung's friend Luciel, and a woman Chae-Young didn't yet know gathered in a small waiting area. Yuki looked frazzled, but she wasn't crying. That was a good sign, right? She caught Chae-Young by the shoulders, steadying her.

  
"Tell me what happened," Chae-Young demanded, swallowing hard. "Is he alive?"

  
"He's alive," Yuki reassured her. "He has a serious injury to his left eye, and he was shot in the shoulder-"

  
"Someone shot him?!" Chae-Young's voice jumped up several octaves.

  
Yuki motioned for her to keep her voice down. "Yes, but he's out of surgery now, and even though he will likely lose at least some sight in that eye, his prognosis is good. He should make a full recovery."

  
Chae-Young let out the breath that she'd been holding for the past two days, a few happy tears slipping out and sliding down her cheeks as she gave a shaky smile. "Shit... Oh thank god."

  
"It still shouldn't have happened. I should have been able to protect him," Luciel muttered darkly from where he sat slumped against a wall, head in his hands as the unfamiliar woman rubbed his back gently.

  
"I shouldn't have let him go in the first place," Chae-Young countered, turning to face him.

  
Luciel's companion looked up suddenly, her intense green eyes searching Chae-Young's face. "You know he really loves you, right?"

  
"I know."

  
"He's a good kid, so...please be gentle with him. Let him down easily if you can."

  
Chae-Young's eyebrows knit together. "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Do you think...that I'm going to reject him?" She shook her head. "I _love_ him."

  
"Why didn't you tell him?" Yuki asked her.

  
"I... I was too worried that I wasn't good enough." Chae-Young bit her lip, casting her gaze to the side. "He deserves the world..."

 

"Chae-Young..." Yuki shook her head. "You _are_ his world."

  
"Can... Can I see him?" Chae-Young couldn't believe that she almost felt nervous over the thought of seeing Yoosung again.

  
"Of course." Yuki pointed to a nearby room. "He's in that room. The anesthesia hit him pretty hard, so he's probably still sleeping it off-"

  
Chae-Young didn't need to hear anything else, immediately turning toward the designated room. She opened the door slowly, peeking inside, heart melting a little to see Yoosung sleeping peacefully, his heartbeat strong on the beeping monitor. Chae-Young crept inside, closing the door silently behind her and dragging a chair over to the side of the bed. She lingered a moment before sitting down, just taking a moment to watch over him. Yoosung looked so pitiful, so broken; it made her want to cry, thinking that he'd wound up like this simply because he loved her enough to put his life on the line. Chae-Young sank into the chair, gingerly taking his hand in her own.

  
"I'll be here when you wake, my love."

  
\---

  
Yoosung began to shift in the bed, giving a small, pained sound. He began to slowly lift the eyelid not covered in bandages; it felt as though it weighed two tons. His head still swimming a little from the pain medication, the room remained blurry for a minute or so, the figure seated next to his bed slowly coming into focus. His gaze finally met Chae-Young's, and she smiled just slightly, so many emotions in her eyes. Yoosung's heart jumped when he realized that she was holding his hand, their fingers laced together, and then he flushed bright red when that jump became audible on the heart monitor. Her hand fit so nicely in his, and she was so close...

  
"Chae?"

  
"You scared the shit out of me." She looked away, cheeks turning just a tiny bit pink.

  
Yoosung nodded. "I know. I'm sorry. I promise I won't ever do that to you again."

  
"What you did was kind of stupid, you know that?" Chae-Young looked frustrated, but in a worried sort of way.

  
"Love makes you do stupid things sometimes."

  
Her eyes softened. "Yoosung..."

  
He stopped her. "Don't...You don't have to say anything."

  
She scoffed in irritation, looking almost distraught. "Yeah, I do. I spent _way_ too much time not saying anything! Because I was afraid... Afraid that I wasn't good enough, afraid that I was being selfish... Afraid that I would lose you. And I almost did! _Because_ I didn't say anything!" Chae-Young took a deep breath. "So I'm gonna say it now, because I can't risk throwing the one thing I cherish most in this world."

  
The beeping of the heart monitor sped up as Yoosung's eyes grew wide. "What?" he asked her breathlessly as warmth swelled in his chest.

  
"You." Color flooded Chae-Young's face as she looked straight at him, finally unafraid, finally honest. "Yoosung...I love you too."

  
He gave a little shuddering gasp as a lump formed in his throat. "Do you really mean it?"

  
Chae-Young nodded, kissing his bruised knuckles gently as the first tears fell from her eyes. _Those big, beautiful brown eyes..._ "I'm better when I'm with you."

  
Yoosung's chest felt tight. "I thought...you didn't want me," he whimpered, shaking his head.

  
She leaned in a little closer, eyes pleading for love. "I do want you. Only you." Chae-Young bit her lip. "Can...I kiss you?"

  
" _Please_ kiss me," Yoosung begged, voice low as he pulled her in.

  
Her mouth finally met his, a little sigh of delight escaping him immediately as her lips danced against him. She kissed him so gently, as if she were worried she might break him, but it was needy too as she cradled his face in her hands; she'd been waiting for this moment for far too long. Yoosung reached forward to delicately brush his fingers against her cheek, and she shuddered happily. He whimpered against her, greedy and desperate for every bit of affection she could give him. Chae-Young opened her mouth just a little to trace the shape of his mouth with her tongue, drawing a choked-off whine. "I love you so much," she murmured, never once breaking away, ecstatic to finally hold this perfect creature against her. "I'm never letting you go again."

  
She pulled away for just a moment to slip off her shoes, climbing into the bed, much to Yoosung's surprise. "W-What are you-?"

  
"I want to hold you," she mumbled, positioning herself next to him so that she rested comfortably against him. Chae-Young draped an arm across Yoosung's body, nestling her face against his chest. Though it surprised him, the sensation was warm and familiar. It felt comfortable. It wan't the first time they'd lain together like this, but this time meant so much more, felt like so much more. _This is how it's supposed to be._ He wrapped his arm around her protectively, gently brushing his fingertips up and down the bare flesh of her arm, making her sigh contentedly. The monitor's incessant beeping sped up again, and Chae-Young smiled. "I'm so happy."

  
\---

  
One question still tickled Yoosung's mind, however. His brow furrowed. "Why didn't you tell me before? You've...felt like this for a while, right?"

  
"Since February," Chae-Young clarified.

  
"Four months?! You should have told me..." _Four months I could have been giving you_ all _of my love..._

  
"I know, I know. It was stupid," she chided herself. "I just...thought you deserved someone better than me, someone happier, who didn't have so much fucking baggage. Whenever I thought about telling you, all I could think of was how selfish it would be."

  
Yoosung turned over onto his side so that they were face to face, gently cupping her cheek in his hand, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "You aren't selfish, Chae; not in the way that you think. It was more selfish to not let me love you all this time," he whined, his gaze soft, and almost needy. "I love _you_. I want _you_. I know that some difficult stuff comes along with that, but it's nothing we can't handle _together_. I love _every single part_ of you."

  
Chae-Young swallowed hard, trying to force down the lump forming in her throat. She still wondered if she deserved this kind of adoration, but right now, she felt willing to accept and cherish every bit of it.

  
"From now on, please be honest with me. I want to be the person you can trust with everything."

  
"C-Can I tell you something?" her voice cracked just a little as she spoke, and Yoosung nodded. "I want to kiss you again."

  
"Of course." He leaned down to capture her mouth a second time, this kiss a little bit more firm and sure than the first. Yoosung held Chae-Young close, and she was more than happy to press herself against him, hungry for closeness. He could feel her smiling broadly, and before long he was grinning too, his hand coming to rest on her narrow waist. Chae-Young's shirt had ridden up a little, exposing a stripe of silky skin. Yoosung brushed his fingertips over it, amused to find that she was just the slightest bit ticklish as she giggled and squirmed . He relented, laying his palm flat, and she made a contented sound, tracing the shape of his body with her own hand.

  
Without warning, Chae-Young suddenly parted her lips to press her tongue into Yoosung's mouth. He gasped in surprise, but accepted her readily, turning his head to accommodate this new sort of connection. The kiss quickly grew wet and messy, with her moving more forcefully against him, and with him being more than happy to comply, matching her intensity. A long, heavy moan escaped Yoosung, only encouraging her. The monitor's beeping quickened along with the excitement of the situation, but neither seemed to notice, too caught up in one another to pay much mind. Chae-Young leaned over him, gripping the back of his neck tightly. Yoosung groaned again, feeling a familiar heat building between his thighs. Even after everything he'd been through today, she still had a way of getting him hot and bothered. Though, he _had_ been waiting for this for a long time... "W-We might should stop for now..." he gasped, pulling away.

  
Chae-Young looked at him curiously. "Why?"

  
Yoosung grew pink in the face. "I'm...getting too excited."

  
A sudden burst of heat flooded Chae-Young's lower body, and her mouth went dry. "Oh?" She pulled back the blankets to reveal the tented fabric of the loose, cotton hospital garment. She ghosted a single finger over the tip, making Yoosung tilt his head back and mouth a vulgar word. "Do you want me to make you feel good?"

  
He looked at her wide-eyed. "We can't do _that_ here!"

  
Chae-Young shook her head. "Oh, no, no, no... We'll be saving _that_ for when I get you home. But for now..." Her hand slipped under the edge of the garment, moving upward at a painfully slow pace. She traced her fingers over the delicate flesh of Yoosung's inner thighs, making him sigh in anticipation. She was so close... Chae-Young's fingers finally wrapped loosely around his cock, gently sliding up and down the velvety skin. He melted against her, immediately hooked on the pleasure and desperate for more, suddenly converted to hedonism.

  
"This is s-so _bad_..." he whined, voice lascivious.

  
She lifted her hand away, making Yoosung buck his hips forward, seeking contact. "Well, if you think we should stop..."

  
"I didn't say that!" He shook his head, blushing fiercely.

  
"I want to see..." Chae-Young slowly lifted the fabric, exposing him all the way up to his chest, and he turned even redder, embarrassed to suddenly be seen like this by her. She smiled gently, finding Yoosung's naked body so terribly erotic. He was so slender and delicate, but still masculine in his own way. His creamy skin had been marred by a couple of bruises from his ordeal, and Chae-Young leaned down to kiss the spots gingerly, careful not to hurt him by applying too much pressure. Her eyes wandered back down. She'd never say this to Yoosung, but she found his hard cock to be, well, _cute_. Perfectly shaped and flushed pink with arousal, it responded to her touch with enthusiasm, much to her delight.

  
She began to tease him, lightly running her fingertips over the exposed flesh, tracing the line of his hipbone, across the sparse patch of dark hair, then up and back down the shaft of his arousal, pausing just momentarily to gently squeeze the sensitive head. Yoosung shivered in response, sighing lightly as he allowed her to take her time; she clearly enjoyed doing this sort of thing to him, based on how she'd bite her lip when he let out a cracked moan. Every once in a while Chae-Young would cease her teasing to firmly stroke him a bit, his hips moving in time with her motions. Mostly, she just savored the experience, exploring his beautiful body with her hands, touching every bit of skin she could find in search of his most sensitive spots; she was mildly amused when Yoosung got a nervous look in his eye as she dipped her hand down dangerously low between his legs, only for a pitched sigh to escape when she prodded him just slightly with her index finger. The pressure in his lower body built gradually, along with his need. Slick, shiny precum began to leak from him slowly, forming an indecent string between the head of his cock and the spot where it gathered on his stomach. Chae-Young gripped him again, moving a little more briskly this time as she spread the fluid over him, amplifying the sensations.

  
The whole thing made Yoosung feel tingly all over, nerve endings crackling as he allowed this new experience to inundate his senses. She squeezed him just how he liked, firmly, but not to the point of pain, briefly tightening her grip as she passed the sensitive spot just below his head. She wasn't stopping her stroking now, heat building that much more quickly as it wasn't given a chance to die down. Yoosung began to lightly and involuntarily thrust his hips in time to her paces, giving a cute little squeak of pleasure. Utterly embarrassed, he grabbed the pillow from under his head, using it to conceal his face, which he _knew_ had to be terribly lewd right now as he moved closer to the point of ecstasy. Chae-Young used her free hand to lift it away, scolding him gently. "No, no, baby. I want to see your face when you cum." She started to pump him faster, and Yoosung's leg began to shake, one of many indicators that he was close, tension pooling between his thighs until he almost couldn't stand it.

  
He clutched his hands over his mouth to muffle his noises, knowing how loud he could be when he finished. A broken, desperate cry escaped Yoosung as he came unraveled in Chae-Young's hand, hips spasming wildly. He came _hard_ , heat flashing throughout his lower body as he twitched in delight. Voice muffled by his hands, he whimpered her name, uncovered eye hot and dark with lust. When he'd finally finished, she let go carefully, mindful to not overstimulate him. Hot breath clouding his face, Yoosung trembled against her, mind and body completely shaken-up by the gratification he'd received. Starting to come back to reality, he looked down at Chae-Young's hand, sticky with his considerable release. He went red again. "Y-You should go wash your hands..."

  
She cocked an eyebrow. "Are you...embarrassed by this?"

  
"A-A little..."

  
Chae-Young smirked devilishly. "Then I'll do something even more embarrassing." Studying his face, she brought her hand to her mouth to lick it clean, leaving her partner completely mortified. 

After a while, and some convincing that it really wasn't _that_ embarrassing, they lay nestled together once again, smiling contentedly. Yoosung leaned forward to gently kiss her forehead. "Thank you," he murmured coyly.

  
"You don't need to thank me," she assured him. "I _want_ to take care of my baby boy."

  
He reeled back, pouting. "I'm not a baby!"

  
"I know, I know... If you don't want me to call you that, I won't."

  
Yoosung froze, cheeks turning a bit pink for what had to be the millionth time that day. "I...I do kind of want you to... I just don't want you to _think_ of me as a baby."

  
Chae-Young looked serious for a moment. "I don't think of you like that at all. There's never been a time when I didn't see you as a fully-capable grown man."

  
"I'm going to be someone who can take care of you, I promise." He cradled the back of her head, gently holding her against his chest.

  
It was Chae-Young's turn to blush now. "I'd like that...my handsome star prince."

  
They lay silently after that, content to just experience being together, everything falling perfectly into place right where it should be. Chae-Young twitched slightly, and Yoosung realized that she'd fallen asleep. He couldn't seem to find sleep himself, too wired and excited for the happy days to come, starting with their first RFA party as a couple, set to take place the very next day. He couldn't believe that after everything, she did indeed love him as he'd so long hoped. His chest felt tight, heart so full of love for her. " _I hope I can make you happy_ ," he whispered against her hair as he reached for his phone, having to laugh at himself a little as he finally saw all of her missed calls and texts. If he'd been in a more playful mood, he might have jokingly called her back, but for now Yoosung preferred to keep things just how they were: perfect. He clicked a quick picture of the two of them together, marveling at how small and cute Chae-Young looked in his arms. Yoosung briefly signed into the RFA chatroom, just long enough to post the joyful image.

  
"Guys...my girlfriend is so cute."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are probably feeling slightly cheated right now, considering how this wasn't quite as intense as most of my sexy scenes, but rest assured, these two nasty fucks are gonna get a proper Bone Zone chapter in the near future. I just wanted this happy, gooey confession scene to be its own chapter because of how significant it is to their story line.


	93. My Electric Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Content warning for sex stuff.

\---

The simple, black-and-white plastic clock on the drab hospital wall ticked 9:00, and Mina glanced over at the sign posted near the nurses station which announced the end of visiting hours. "Saeyoung..." Mina's companion didn't speak, or even turn to look at her, instead giving an almost-silent grunt of acknowledgment. "It's time to go home now." They'd overstayed their welcome by now, having lingered here as long as possible. As the afternoon and evening wore on, Saeyoung's anxiety and loud self-loathing had given way to a depressed listlessness. He likely dreaded going home, since he'd so anticipated being able to bring his brother home with him. Reluctantly, he dragged himself to his feet, his rib cage trembling with a heavy sigh as he nodded, following Mina back down the hallway toward the elevator. Outside, she scanned the parking lot, trying desperately to remember where she'd frantically parked earlier as Saeyoung dragged Yoosung into the emergency room. Finally she spotted it. _How could anyone miss a car like that?_ Before she could climb inside, Saeyoung grabbed onto her suddenly, pulling her in close and clutching her tightly against him.

  
The two of them alone in the dark parking lot, Saeyoung could finally let go of the aching sorrow he'd been holding in all day. His entire body shook with every great, heaving sob, voice breaking with each pained wail. It wasn't a pretty sight, but Mina almost felt glad that he could let himself accept his emotions and really _feel_ them, instead of burying everything deep inside. "Yoosung got hurt... _You_ got hurt," he hiccuped. "Because of me..." Saeyoung pulled back to look at her, jaw tight and tears streaming down his freckled cheeks. Catching sight of her softened expression, he immediately dove back into the embrace, holding her more tightly now.

  
"It's okay," she whispered hoarsely. "We're okay."

  
"What did I do to deserve to have someone like you in my life?" Saeyoung croaked, voice muffled by Mina's hair, which had begun to come out of its tight bun, sticking out in every which direction.  
After taking a few minutes like this, he separated himself from her and slid into the passenger seat, allowing Mina to take the wheel. He sat there for a few minutes, seemingly deep in thought, his expression firm. "I am going to find Saeran," he said finally, the tone of his voice determined.

  
"Of course you will," Mina assured him. "And I will absolutely help you any way I can. Anything you need... I am here for you."

  
Saeyoung bit his lip. "Why are you always so willing to help me? What have I done to deserve that?"

  
"You don't have to do anything. I love you, Saeyoung," she reminded him.

  
"Even after all the times I've pushed you away?"

  
Mina thought for a minute. "Yes... Because I love you as a friend too. I don't abandon my friends, even when things are difficult."

  
This answer seemed to satisfy him enough. "The problem is... I have no idea where he'll go now that we've destroyed Mint Eye's base of operations. At least when he was there, I had a definite location for him." Saeyoung groaned, removing his glasses and rubbing his tired eyes. "Additionally, he's going to be more hostile now, since we've provoked them. He sees us as an enemy. Things are just going to be more difficult now..."

  
Mina leaned over to squeeze his arm reassuringly. "We're going to figure this out, okay? Between the two of us, we're too damn smart to not find a solution." She gently turned Saeyoung's face to make him look at her. "Listen to me. We _will_ make this right. I know you don't exactly believe in yourself right now, but... believe in the me that believes in you, or some shit like that."

  
Saeyoung managed the tiniest of smiles. "We can at least be sure that he'll try to join back up with Rika, wherever she is."

  
"That's right."

  
"It may take some time, but now that we've confronted them directly, they will likely go after RFA again. I know it sounds like we're using everyone as live bait, and I don't like that, but it may be the only chance we've got to pick up the scent again." He shrugged. "Besides, I'm probably at the top of Saeran's list now, if I wasn't before." Saeyoung sighed, sliding the striped frames back up the bridge of his nose. "Once he acts, I can pick the trail right back up again. This time..." His eyes narrowed. "I _will_ bring him home." Mina nodded, her gaze equally intense. "I hate the idea of just waiting around for something to happen, but it's the most assurance I have of succeeding."

  
He slumped back into the seat then, tapping at the screen of his phone before passing it to Mina. "Here are the directions to get home." His word choice tickled her brain. Not "directions to get to my place," but "directions to get _home_ ," as if he considered it to be home to both of them now. Mina tried not to read too much into it, considering they Saeyoung probably wasn't thinking too much about semantics right now, but it still sparked her interest nonetheless. He remained quiet as she drove, and she let it be, grateful for a little silence herself. It had been such an eventful day; the white-noise hum of the engine combined with the meditative act of driving was almost therapeutic. Every once in a while she'd glance over at Saeyoung to see if he'd fallen asleep, but he remained wide-awake, staring out the window. He looked absolutely miserable. Mina supposed that was to be expected. Today had to have been exhausting for him, both physically and emotionally. He was still listless as they arrived back at the bunker, his movements slow and arduous as he pulled his body out of the vehicle.

  
Shuffling along steadily, he followed Mina into the main bathroom, lingering in the doorway as she knelt in front of the sizable bathtub. She turned on the hot water and then the cold, dunking her hand under the flow every few minutes and adjusting the knobs until she got it to the temperature she desired, and then plugged the drain, letting the steaming water gradually begin to fill the bottom. Mina turned to Saeyoung, and nodded toward the tub. He understood, gripping the bottom of his sweaty, blood-stained shirt and pulling it up over his head. He peeled off each garment, dropping them into a pile onto the floor, until he stood naked, waiting for the bath to fill. Finally, the water reached just over the halfway point, and Mina turned the knobs to stop the gushing, calculating for displacement. She stood, and stepped over the clothing pile to stand in front of her companion, reaching up to gently remove his glasses, folding them and carefully placing them on the counter before moving out of the way to allow Saeyoung to climb into the water, where he sat silently, knees pulled up to his chin, just staring at the slight currents made by his movements.

  
Without a word, Mina reached down to pick up the discarded clothes, wadding them up into a ball to take them to the laundry, and, straightening back up, she turned to leave Saeyoung to have his bath privately.

  
"Don't go."

  
Surprised, she turned back to see him looking at her helplessly. "Are you sure? I thought you wouldn't want to be disturbed. I thought it would be easier for you to try and relax if I wasn't here."

  
Saeyoung shook his head. "I don't want to be left alone right now." His cheeks turned just slightly pink, but it very well could have been from the steaming water. Mina obliged him, placing the clothes on the counter and slowly lowering her tired body onto the tile floor to sit cross-legged. Saeyoung's golden gaze found her again, face growing hotter, and most definitely not from the hot bath. "No. I want you to get in the water with me."

  
A sharp gasp escaped her, not having expected him to ask for something like that. After everything that had transpired, she'd expected Saeyoung to push her away again; instead, he was doing exactly the opposite, not that it bothered her at all. She stood and quickly stripped down, leaving her dirty clothes strewn across the floor. She paused for a minute, almost nervous to be this close to him again, even though they'd been much, _much_ more intimate in the past. Saeyoung didn't seem at all affected by her nakedness. Though, that made sense. Sex was probably the furthest thing from his mind. He scooted forward to make room for her to sit down behind him as Mina removed her own glasses, placing them next to Saeyoung's before climbing into the tub, hissing a little as the steaming liquid hit her flesh. She positioned herself so that he rested between her legs, and he leaned back, giving a heavy sigh. Saeyoung sagged against her, the tension starting to dissipate from his muscles. He seemed marginally more content now, hungry for every bit of affection he could get after his ordeal.

  
After letting him rest like this for a few minutes, Mina nudged him to sit up, and she reached for a fresh wash cloth and a bar of soap, working a lather into the fabric. She pressed the cloth to his skin, gently and deliberately washing his sculpted back, moving around every curve of flesh and bone. She traced her finger over a small tattoo she'd never seen before, a tiny "707" between Saeyoung's shoulder blades. Suddenly struck by a strange desire, she rinsed the bubbles from that spot, and leaned forward to kiss the inked skin delicately before resting her cheek there. Before long, his shoulders began to quiver again, and she pulled back, cocking her head to the side. "Saeyoung?..." A loud, hiccuping cry broke through the quiet as Saeyoung buried his face in his hands, body shaking once more, racked by his agonized wailing. Mina didn't say anything else, instead leaning forward to wrap her arms around him, pressing her body against his.

  
\---

  
Once Saeyoung's tears had subsided, he sat up straight, finally speaking again. "I want to quit working with the agency."

  
Mina leaned back, surprised. "R-Really?" Saeyoung had been so adamant before about the importance of his work...

  
"Working for them... It made me the kind of person that I don't want to be anymore."

  
"Will..." Mina made a sort of confused sound, screwing up her face. "Will it be possible for you to leave?"

  
He sighed heavily. "Yes, it is possible. There are a lot of conditions attached... I can never go back, and I can't ask the agency for anything in the future. I'd also forfeit any future payment. I can keep the money they've already paid me, but if there are projects I haven't been paid for yet, I won't be paid for them. It's a complete severance of ties." Mina nodded in understanding, looking a bit perturbed at the idea of Saeyoung not being compensated for his efforts. "Honestly, I don't even care about the money. I just want to be able to say that I'm finally happy."

  
"You'll be _free_."

  
Saeyoung gave a genuine smile. "That's the best part of it, isn't it? Working for the agency...really fucked up my priorities. I was working all the time; it quickly became the most important thing in my life. Because of time restraints, and agency policies, I couldn't form real relationships with people. I couldn't get too close. If I did, if I _cared_ too much, it would compromise my work. I hurt a lot of people by being like that. I didn't like it, but I didn't have a choice." He took a shaky breath. "All along, I comforted myself with the belief that because of my sacrifice, Saeran could be happy and healthy, but it turned out that it didn't make a difference at all. All that changed was who was abusing him."

  
"So now that you know the truth, there's no real point in continuing the work," Mina nodded.

  
"That's right. Because of the agency, I lost sight of what was important. I want to fix that now." Saeyoung smiled gently. "I want to focus on the important people in my life- Saeran, everyone in RFA, you... I want to get better too. I want to work through all of my hurt so that I can become a happier person."

  
"You will, Saeyoung. Both you _and_ Saeran."

  
"I want to help him any way I can. I want a better life for us." Saeyoung bit his lip, thinking for a minute. "I want to give back all of the love that everyone's given me. The agency forced me to be a temporary figure in other people's lives. I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to be _permanent_ , instead of going in and out as it's convenient for me."

  
Saeyoung pulled away then, awkwardly turning himself around to face Mina, water sloshing onto the floor when he kicked his leg out too suddenly. He pretended that it didn't happen, instead taking Mina's hands and looking deep into her eyes, holding her intense gaze. "You said before...that I had to learn to trust people more... To decide for themselves if the danger of being around me was worth it."

  
Mina's breath hitched, and she nodded hesitantly. "Yes?"

  
"Well..." Saeyoung swallowed hard, color pooling in his face again. "I trust you to make that decision. If you'll still have me..." he gulped. "I want to be with you. For real this time. I want to have an _actual_ relationship with you. I want to be committed to you the way I should have been before."

  
Mina had never thought there would be a time when she'd see Saeyoung get this nervous and flustered, especially since this wasn't the first time he'd communicated his feelings to her. All the same, her heart swelled in her chest, and she smiled, feeling very warm inside. "I want that too." He smiled softly in response, eyes shining as he reached forward to cradle her face in his hands before closing the gap with a gentle kiss. It was soft and gentle, but it shared all of the feelings for which neither Mina nor Saeyoung could find the proper words.

  
"I want you to share my bed again." He took her hand, lacing their fingers together. "And... I know the timing is weird, with everything that's happened, but... I want to be with you tonight." Mina bit her lip in response, breath catching in her throat. "It's not even that I'm particularly _horny_... I just... I want to show you how much you mean to me. In the future, I want to find even more ways to show you, better ways, but...this is what I can do right now, if it's okay with you."

  
\---

  
"S-Saeyoung!" Mina dug her fingernails into his back as he thrust his hips sharply over and over, pushing her down into the mattress with each motion. He wrapped his arms around her to hold her closer, eliminating the space between them as he buried himself deep within. Saeyoung could feel her starting to tremble; he was having trouble holding back himself. Mina felt so tight and wet around him, quivering and tensing each time he plunged his cock into her. His movements were slight, more rocking back and forth than anything, but he still managed to rub up against the spots she liked most, making her sigh deeply in delight. Mina's legs tightened around him suddenly. "Saeyoung, I'm...!" He leaned down to kiss her as she came, trembling and moaning deep against his mouth.

  
He pulled back suddenly, breathless. "Is...Is it okay if I cum inside you?" He slowed his movements, holding his release until she answered him.

  
"Evidence that you existed, right?" Mina grinned up at him, making him swallow hard as he clenched his jaw, struggling to keep everything inside. "Yes, it's okay."

  
Saeyoung clutched her tightly, slamming his hips forward rapidly and erratically until he finally stilled, panting desperately as he pulsed inside her.

  
They lay there like that for some time, bodies still tangled together messily, but content for now. Saeyoung rested his head on Mina's chest, her soft breasts heaving as she continued to come down from her high. She played with the mess of curly, red hair mindlessly, her touch gentle and loving. "I hope we get an opportunity soon, to find Saeran," he mumbled finally.

  
"We'll get to work right away," Mina assured him. "I'll scour every corner of the internet for any bit of information I can find. In fact, we could even skip the party tomorrow and make better use of that time. I don't think either of us is really in a party mood, anyway."

  
Saeyoung nodded rapidly. "I want to do that." He shifted onto his side, leaning over to kiss her gently again. "If I have you, I can believe that everything will work out."

  
"I'm here," Mina whispered, reaching up to gingerly touch his face. He tilted his head, fingering the silver chain that still hung around her neck, playing with the crucifix that rested blasphemously between her breasts.

  
"I love you."

\-----

A/N: I feel like I should mention that I didn't come up with the idea for Saeyoung's tattoo. I think I saw it in one of zoecam37's drawings on tumblr. Y'all should check out her work. She draws some nice butts.


	94. The Sum of Your Broken Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: smut chapter

\---

Despite the absence of two organization members, and all of the recent drama involving active threats against the group, RFA had managed to throw yet another wildly successful party, packing in more guests than ever before. Yoosung had started to honestly believe that Yuki might be some kind of wizard, and he felt grateful that, if someone had to replace Rika, it was her. After all, without knowing Yuki, he never would have met the cute girl currently fussing over the gauze bandage covering his left eye. She'd been like this all day today, worrying over him and constantly by his side, not that Yoosung minded at all. He savored her gentle attentions, and having her close by made it that much easier to show her off. _Look! This is my girlfriend! Isn't she cute?!_ All of the other RFA members had their significant others here too- Zen and Yuki, forever joined at the hip, Jumin and his fiancee, Jaehee and her girlfriend. Yoosung hadn't known before tonight that she was seeing anyone; Jaehee tended to be more discreet about her private life than everyone else. 

  
Yoosung couldn't help smiling. A year ago, RFA had been on the verge of falling apart, and everyone had been so isolated, dealing (poorly) with their problems alone. Now, the parties had resumed, breathing new life into the organization. No one was alone anymore, either. Even Seven and V had people that they cared about. Maybe Seven and Mina's relationship was...complicated, and Yoosung didn't know much about V's new friend, but at least they didn't cut themselves off anymore.

  
He leaned back in the chair where Chae-Young had insisted he take a break and rest for a few minutes while she went to get him something to drink. She'd been concerned all evening about him getting too tired and overexerting himself. It might have been an issue if he'd been in a serious accident, or if he'd had major surgery, but he hadn't. Other than the mild soreness in his eye and his shoulder, dulled by the pain medications he'd been prescribed, he felt fine, better than fine really. He felt wired, excited, hoping that she wouldn't be quite so worried later tonight. _She did say "When I get you home..."_ Yoosung knew that at the very least, Chae-Young would let him spend the night with her, even if she insisted on waiting to be intimate until his injuries had healed more.

  
She returned then, with two glasses of water, resplendent in bluish-silver silk that cut low in both the front and the back. Yoosung swallowed hard, suddenly just slightly nervous. "Do... Do you want me to come home with you tonight?"

  
Chae-Young's breath hitched. "Of course I do. Unless...you're not ready for that yet..."

  
"N-No, I'm ready!" It felt weird to sit here, at this fancy party, knowing that you were going to be having sex later. Was this what it felt like for a married couple at their wedding? No, that probably felt even weirder, since all the guests would also know...

  
Chae-Young's voice softened to a low murmur, cheeks tinting a light pink. "I kind of wish we could go right now..." She gave Yoosung an amorous glance, and he thought about it for a minute. The party was beginning to wind down now, all of the main events- dinner, speeches, the silent auction- having finished. If anything, Yoosung could claim that he was feeling tired from his injuries, and no one would give him grief about leaving, even if they suspected that he was bullshitting.

  
He touched Chae-Young gently on the arm. "Wait right here." He stood, and crossed the room to find Yuki, appropriately dressed for the steamy summer evening in floral-print chiffon. Her cheeks were flushed, her grin wide, every word she spoke punctuated by her full, rich laugh. In other words, she was rather drunk. Before Yoosung could get a single word out, she raised a hand, chuckling as she waved him off. "Yes, yes, you can get on out of here!"

  
"H-How did you...?"

  
Yuki gave him a knowing look, eyebrows raised, before exchanging a glance with Zen. "I wasn't born yesterday. It's no different from back when Hyun rescued me from the apartment, when 'Unknown' attacked me. I didn't kid myself into thinking that no one was able to figure out what happened between us _after_ that. It's called using context clues." She took another sip from the cocktail in her hand as Yoosung turned bright red. "No judgment, but you've been eager to get out of here ever since you arrived."

  
Slightly mortified, he returned to Chae-Young. "Do you wanna get out of here?" he asked her in the most casual voice he could muster.

  
\---

  
The drive back to Chae-Young's apartment only served to build Yoosung's anticipation. Of course he knew _how_ to do this, but, being inexperienced, certain particulars still escaped him. How should he move to make it feel good for Chae? _Would_ it feel good for her? Could he make her...? He hoped that she would be willing to take the lead a little bit, make suggestions here and there so that he could learn how to do it right. Yoosung very much wanted to be the best she'd ever had.

  
Her darkened apartment was eerily quiet, every noise and movement either of them made seeming amplified by a factor of ten. Chae-Young dropped her handbag onto the couch, kicking off her heels and padding into the kitchen. She smiled lightly to herself, selecting that one special bottle of whiskey, remembering that the last time she'd had it had been on the night she realized her feelings for Yoosung. "Do you want some?" she asked him as she poured a small glass for herself.

  
He shook his head, eyes closed, voice husky. "I prefer how it tastes on your lips."

  
A flash of warmth spread throughout Chae-Young's lower body, and she very nearly choked on her sip of liquor. _Shit, when did you get so fucking smooth?!_ She placed the empty glass on the counter, taking his hand gently and leading into her bedroom, lit only by the moonlight that peeked through the window. She swallowed hard as she turned on the small lamp by her bed, its warm, ambient glow barely lighting the room, the beating of her heart pounding in her ears. She wondered if Yoosung felt the same way.

  
He did, pulse racing as she turned back to him, her expression curiously similar to one he'd seen long before, when they posed together, with Chae-Young on her back, legs spread as Yoosung hovered over her. She gazed up at him, biting her lip, inhaling and exhaling in anticipation. He reached out, delicately stroking her cheek before cupping it in his palm to pull her in.

  
The seal broken, Chae-Young's confidence returned, and she stood up on her toes, wrapping her arms around Yoosung's neck as she kissed him, carefully and softly at first, and then with growing fierceness, occasionally nipping at his lower lip, making him gasp in surprise every time. Yoosung matched her enthusiasm, whimpering lightly as he trembled, his slender frame simply not able to contain everything he felt right now.

  
Chae-Young noticed this, pulling away momentarily to look at him curiously. "Is everything okay? I don't want you to feel like we have to do this if you're not ready."

  
"N-No, I _do_ want to. I really want to do it. I'm just...a little bit nervous." Yoosung chewed on his lip.

  
"What exactly makes you feel nervous?"

  
"Well..." Yoosung cast his gaze to the side, color dusted across his face. "What if I'm not... _good_ at it? What if I...too quickly?" His blush darkened.

  
Chae-Young turned his face toward her. "Baby, look at me. No matter how good, or not good you are at this, I want to be with _you_. I'm convinced that it's going to be good _because_ it's with you. Don't worry about it too much. Just do what feels right, okay?" She smiled mischievously. "As for your other concern... If you cum too quickly, then I guess we'll just have to do it again."

  
Chae-Young reached behind her back, undoing the silk ties of her dress and lowering its zipper, the silk whispering over her flesh as it fell to the floor. Yoosung gasped, biting back a moan as he looked over her, slight figure covered only by the black mesh lingerie she wore underneath, a clingy slip and thong panty set that left very little to the imagination, edges trimmed in lace. "Do you like it?" she grinned. "I bought it just for you." A shaky, breathy moan escaped Yoosung, much to her delight. It was quite a bit of fun to tease him in this way. Being so inexperienced, he couldn't help reacting so viscerally, getting hard just by looking at her like this.

  
She leaned in again, loosening his tie and tossing it aside before slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt. Chae-Young's movements were gentle as she tried to stop teasing so much, to simply be loving and gentle with him. Yoosung's breath caught again as she moved lower and lower. She'd already seen him completely naked, completely exposed and intimately vulnerable the night before, but he still couldn't help feeling a bit uneasy, wondering exactly how she felt about his body. She stared so intently at him... "I-I feel a little self-conscious!" he blurted out suddenly.

  
Chae-Young stopped her work, looking up at him in concern. "Why?"

  
"Well... I'm not exactly, like, super muscular or anything. I know a lot of girls like a manly man, and-"

  
"Not me." She looked at him intently. " _You_ are _exactly_ my type." Chae-Young shook her head. "You don't even know how _erotic_ your naked body is to me."

  
"R-Really?!"

  
She nodded. "Why do you think I'm so anxious to get your clothes off?" She undid the last button and slipped the garment off, tossing it aside with a satisfied sound, nudging Yoosung gently so that he sat down on the foot of the bed. He looked up at her eagerly as she chewed her lip. "I wonder if we should be doing this, with you being hurt and everything..."

  
Yoosung whined in protest. "You're asking that _now_? While you stand there looking like _that_?"

  
"Well, maybe if I'm gentle with you-"

  
"You don't have to be _too_ gentle!" he cut in abruptly. "I'd...like it if you were rough with me."

  
Chae-Young cocked her head to the side, the corners of her mouth curling upward. "How rough, though? You'll have to be more specific." She leaned forward, placing her hands on Yoosung's shoulders as she whispered in his ear. " _Do you want me to nibble on your neck a little, or do you want me to blindfold you and wrap my hands around your throat?_ "

  
Yoosung swallowed hard, gasping at her words. "B-Both?"

  
"Well then..." She straddled his lap, sighing slightly as she brushed up against the stiffness between his legs. "I guess we can start with this." Chae-Young pressed her lips to his neck, leaving a series of gentle kisses there before opening her mouth just a little to latch on tight, sucking hard and making Yoosung whimper in pain and pleasure. She pulled back, admiring the deep purple welt before going right back in, leaving one swollen mark after another until he couldn't hold back any longer, starting to rock his hips upward, grinding against Chae-Young as he desperately sought attention for his needy cock. She ground her own hips against him in return, and he shuddered at the amplified sensation, worried that he might actually cum in his pants if this continued for too much longer.

  
"I want..." The heavy blush settled across Yoosung's face darkened; the words in the forefront of his mind were too embarrassing to say aloud.

  
"What, baby?"

  
"I...I want you to be naked." Yoosung expected her to laugh at him, but she moaned softly instead, finding his words strangely arousing, and climbed off of his lap to oblige him. Chae-Young pulled the slip up and over her head, leaving her bare save for her skimpy panties. He'd already seen this much of her before, but now he could fully convey how her body made him feel. Yoosung reached out to ghost his fingertips over the slight curve of her side, from her ribs down to her hips, lingering on the elastic band resting there. He looked up, biting his lip as his eyes begged for permission to remove the final garment, and Chae-Young nodded, eyes shining, her lips parted slightly.

  
Before he could chicken out, he gave the material a single, quick tug, involuntarily giving a loud moan as she was exposed to him. Unable to hold back any longer, Chae-Young pushed him over onto his back, crawling on top of him, initiating another wet, needy kiss. Yoosung's hands wandered over her legs and ass, gathering the courage to dip between her thighs. She whined suddenly, a jolt of pleasure coursing through her as two fingers brushed up against her. He gasped in surprise as he grew bolder, slipping those two fingers inside her. "Y-You're..."

  
"What?"

  
"...you're so... _wet_..." Yoosung hadn't expected her to be this excited already. Was her attraction to him really that potent? He'd have a difficult time taking things slowly now...

  
"You should be naked too."

  
Yoosung agreed with her. He rolled her gently onto her back so that he could stand, quickly stripping off his pants and underwear, too turned-on to be embarrassed of his nudity. They were connected to each other again in mere seconds, their kiss sloppy and desperate, hands anywhere and everywhere, greedy, lewd, enamored with one another.

  
" _Can I try something_?" he whispered against her. Chae-Young nodded, and Yoosung moved down slightly to pepper tiny kisses across her chest, gradually deepening his affections until he took one pink tip into his mouth, sucking gently. She gasped and sighed at the contact; she was rather sensitive there. " _I've wanted to do this ever since the first time I saw them._ "

  
"You like them _that_ much?" Chae-Young asked through a cracked moan.

  
Yoosung moved his attention to the other breast, repeating the action as he nodded. " _I think they're_ beautiful."

  
"Are you sensitive here too?" She reached down toward his chest.

  
"I-I think so... I don't have enough experience to know for cert- _Ah!~_ " Her fingertips brushed over him.

  
"You _are_!" Chae-Young seemed delighted by this development, continuing to pinch and tease, preventing Yoosung from doing much of anything other than gasp and moan.

  
"I want to try something else, too..." He moved further down, parting her legs and settling himself between them. Chae bit back a soft whimper as she realized what he intended to do. "Is...Is this okay?" She nodded enthusiastically, and Yoosung dipped his head down, hesitantly running his tongue over the soft folds of skin before pressing it in between them. He hadn't done this before, but he did have _some_ knowledge as to how she'd like to be touched, and licked. His moan was low and hollow at the taste of her, and he hoped that she found this just as enjoyable as he did. Yoosung's eyes drifted back up as he began to gently flick his tongue against her most sensitive spot, careful not to apply too much pressure. Chae-Young kept her eyes locked on him, her cheeks painted deep red as she bit down on her knuckles, breathing heavily. _"Does it feel good?"_ his gaze asked her.

  
" _Yoosung..._ " Encouraged by her, he started to move more quickly. _Can I make you come with my mouth?_ "Yoosung, stop."

  
He pulled away immediately, looking alarmed. "Does it not feel good?"

  
She shook her head vigorously. "It feels _too_ good. If you keep going, I'll... I don't want to come from that. I want to come from you inside me."

  
"O-Okay." Yoosung hadn't expected her to be so blunt. Just hearing those words was enough to make his cock twitch, precum beginning to spill down his length.

  
Chae-Young backed up to lie in the center of the bed, resting her head on a pillow and looking up at him as she parted her legs. Yoosung leaned over her, like he had before, but with so much more love in his eyes this time. He swallowed hard, whimpering as he brushed up against her, a few of his frayed nerves starting to return. She tilted her head in concern. "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

  
Yoosung nodded intently. "I hope I can make you feel good."

  
She reached up to stroke his face and hair gently. "You will. Don't worry about it too much, baby." Chae-Young smiled softly. "Please...I don't think I can wait for you any longer."

  
"O-Okay," he gulped. "I-I'll start now. Yoosung carefully positioned himself and took a deep breath before slowly starting to move forward, shuddering as the tip of his cock met Chae-Young's wet heat. "Hah-" He'd only just started, but this already felt _so good_. She sighed happily as he pushed into her, looking up at him blissfully. She'd wished for this for so long, and now she could finally indulge her deepest desire, and make love to this beautiful boy whom she adored more than anything in the world.

  
Yoosung couldn't help but moan continuously as he sheathed himself; ever since he'd realized his feelings for Chae-Young, he'd longed for his first time to be with her. He'd gotten his wish, and it was greater than he could have ever imagined- the way she gazed up at him so lovingly, her eyes shining and her cheeks pink, the way she continued to be so kind and gentle with him despite her ravenous desire, the way she accepted him inside her so readily, as if there were nothing in the world she desired more than this. Yoosung stilled for a moment once he'd entered completely, taking a moment to meet her eyes, trying to wordlessly communicate the depth of his devotion to her. This sensation was unfamiliar to him, and so intense; he blushed and trembled uncontrollably, realizing how very little authority he had over his own body in this moment. He loved it all the same; even if this was messy, and quick, and imperfect, he wouldn't mind too much, because it would still be perfect to him, and to Chae-Young.

  
Chae-Young felt the same way. Yoosung fit her more perfectly than she could have ever guessed, and he looked almost _too_ adorable, red-faced and shaky and utterly needy. She wrapped her legs around him to pull him in closer, gingerly laying her hand on the back of his head to initiate another deep kiss. He started to move then, carefully rocking back and forth at a slow pace. Chae-Young hummed pleasantly, savoring the experience of finally being intimate with someone she truly loved, and who truly loved her. He clutched her tightly, protectively as he began to pick up the pace, growing a little bolder. A low moan escaped her, and Yoosung seemed pleased, if not a little bit surprised.

  
"Does it feel good?" he asked breathlessly, grinning proudly. Chae-Young answered with another pleased whine, latching onto the spot where his neck met his shoulder, biting down a little bit this time. "Ah~ Chae...that hurts!" She let go immediately, wincing as she realized that she'd drawn blood. Yoosung whined at the lack of contact. "I didn't say I wanted you to stop..." Her mouth curled into a wry grin, adorning his throat and collarbone with all manner of obscene marks; there would be no doubt that they'd been together, that they'd given themselves to one another. Yoosung thrust into her faster and harder. He couldn't really help it; all of this just felt so good! He wanted more and more.

  
He had absolutely no rhythm, his movements desperate and erratic, but Chae-Young couldn't have loved it more. She liked it like this, liked seeing Yoosung's normally cheerful, gentle demeanor melt away to this sort of cute, needy desperation. She loved to make him like this, wild and wanton for release, so far-gone and fucked-out that she doubted he could even remember his own name right now. Chae-Young couldn't wait to see Yoosung's beautiful face as he fell over the edge, to see that kind of raw ecstasy painted across it. She wanted him to feel incredible.

  
Another whimpering moan escaped Yoosung. He could feel the hot tension beginning to build inside him; he could tell that he wouldn't last much longer. But...Chae-Young hadn't come yet... He didn't want to finish first and leave her unsatisfied! Yoosung willfully slowed the motion of his hips, clenching his jaw to try and hold on a little longer. She could identify the far-off look in his eyes, wondering why he'd suddenly decreased his pacing. "W-Why did you...hah... Why did you slow down?"

  
Yoosung furrowed his brow in concern. "If I keep going so hard, I'll..." He bit his lip, the heavy blush on his face turning a few shades darker.

  
Chae-Young lowered her eyelids. "But...I want you to." She grabbed his face, staring at him intently. "I _love_ seeing you so _needy_ for me. I want to make you feel _so good_."

  
"Y-You really like that?" he squeaked, surprised. "Okay, then...Ohh~" Yoosung resumed his quickened movements, shuddering as the heightened pleasure returned, the tension in his lower body coiling tighter and tighter. Two sets of moans echoed off the walls, Chae-Young's breathy sighs and Yoosung's cracked whimpers. He held her tight, truly fucking her now as he buried himself deep inside.   
A broken cry escaped him as he neared the point of no return, the final heat building between his thighs. His expression was beautifully lewd, eyes almost rolling back in his head, cheeks deep red as his jaw hung slack. He'd muffled his dirty sounds the night before, but now he let them all out, barely able to hear Chae-Young's voice over his own.

  
"I-I'm gonna cum!" he cried out suddenly.

  
"Me too!"

  
Yoosung came unraveled inside her, hips continuing to jerk forward, slamming repeatedly against her inner walls, making her arch her back, screaming out in delight. He could barely discern his own name being moaned over and over as he buried his face in her shoulder, muffling his own mewling cries. Chae-Young shivered underneath him, tensing around him; the stimulation was almost too much for the poor boy. _Almost._ Even after Yoosung's hips slowed to a stop, his cock continued to pulse, its heat pooling inside her.

  
He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, still trembling and whimpering as he came down from his high. "I love you."

  
Chae-Young gave a shaky smile, her eyes hazy. "I love you too."

  
Once he could bear to move, so sensitive from his release, Yoosung withdrew, settling down next to her and pulling her in close as he sighed contentedly. "I wanted to do that for so long..."

  
She propped herself up on her elbow, grinning devilishly as her love of teasing him returned. "Oh yeah? Did you think about me when you were alone at night, making yourself cum?" Yoosung's breath caught in his throat at her blunt question, heat spreading across his face once again as he nodded gingerly. "When was the first time?" she purred.

  
"A-After we posed for those photos together..."

  
Chae-Young raised her eyebrows, surprised that his attraction had begun so long ago. Still, she found it rather erotic at the same time, to think that the scenario had excited him in that way.

"What... _exactly_ did you think about?"

  
"Well..." Yoosung swallowed hard as her free hand traced the shape of his body. "What if we'd been left alone... You on my lap, and..." He covered his face, groaning. Despite the fact that they'd just been intimate, talking about this stuff still embarrassed him.

  
"Don't feel bad. I did it while thinking about you too."

  
He pulled his hands away from his face, blood beginning to rush south at the mere thought. "I want to do it again... Please?"

  
"That was my intention." Chae-Young grinned.

  
"Can...I tell you some other things I fantasized about?" Yoosung chewed his lip as she nodded enthusiastically. "Well...I really like the idea of being... _dominated_ by you. Like...one time you said- you were joking, but- something about putting a collar on me? I think...I'd actually like it if you did that." He sat up straight, hands resting on his knees. "I-I could be your pet..." Yoosung turned red, not sure how Chae-Young would react to something like this. "I'll be a good boy for you, and you can...punish me if I'm bad."

  
Chae-Young blinked rapidly, wide-eyed. She'd thought that maybe Yoosung would have certain... _inclinations_ , but he was much more aware of them than she'd expected. "I'd...love to do that." She held up a single finger as he started to perk up in excitement. "BUT. This is...intense stuff, and you're still very inexperienced. We'll have to ease into it. We'll start with me taking the lead, and work our way up to the 'choke me master' kind of stuff, okay?" He nodded, happy with this compromise. "But...If you want to wear a collar that badly..." She reached into the drawer beside the bed, producing a length of black leather. "I bought this earlier today, thinking that it might be something we'd enjoy later on down the road."

  
Yoosung tilted his head back, allowing her to fasten it around his throat, slipping two fingers underneath to make sure it wasn't too tight. "Thank you...Master..." It was his turn to tease Chae a little.

  
"Stop that!" Chae-Young shook her head, laughing nervously. "Don't mess with me like that! Gah!"

  
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling the two of them back down onto the mattress. "All the same...I'm all yours..."

  
"I am yours, and you are mine, my sun and stars." Chae-Young gently pressed her lips to his neck, just above the collar.

  
"Chae..." he whined softly.

  
She flipped Yoosung over onto his back, crawling on top of him and whispering in his ear. " _Now...do you want me to ride you until you scream?_ "

  
"Y-Yes, please."


	95. The Quartermaster

Vanderwood rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, running his hands through his hair and making an exasperated sound. Though his quest to get Luciel back under his supervision where he belonged had been quite the hassle, he did feel relieved to be back at home now, to have Luciel safe, and, more importantly, _contained_. "You can disguise yourself as much as you want," he'd told the young man thrashing around in the back seat of his car. "I'll always be able to tell that it's you." Vanderwood couldn't believe that the other man would ever pull a stunt like that. He still felt annoyed that he'd had to go so out of his way to collect the agent in his care before he went and did something stupid. _What the hell is a "Mint Eye," anyway. Some sort of counter-intelligence agency?_ No, if Luciel had gone out there on agency business, Vanderwood would have known about it, either from the higher-ups or from the agent himself. He tried not to think about it too much, lest it get in the way of his own work. Vanderwood comforted himself with the fact that, at the very least, Luciel's project would (hopefully) be completed on time.

  
Nonetheless, he felt uneasy. He'd known that Luciel had been dealing with some personal issues recently, but this seemed grander in scale than that. Something seemed off, as if Luciel's behavior didn't fit the scenario. There had to be more that Vanderwood didn't know. For example: why would he suddenly change his appearance so drastically. Of course, he could be using a disguise, but he'd done that hundreds of times, and dyeing his hair, and getting a tattoo didn't really fit his M.O. His behavior felt strange, too- much more erratic and unbridled than Vanderwood had ever seen. He'd checked in on Luciel just a few hours before, and the younger man had seemed shaky and nervous the entire time, as if he felt unsafe in Vanderwood's home, as if he felt unsafe with Vanderwood himself.

  
It couldn't be that Luciel was using drugs, could it? He'd always insisted before that he didn't like anything that altered his mind too much. Caffeine was the strongest thing his handler had ever seen him take. Luciel didn't even drink! Still, his recent behavior mirrored withdrawal symptoms just a little _too_ perfectly. Vanderwood scowled, realizing that these behaviors could also signal some kind of nervous breakdown. The stress of this line of work, coupled with the obvious strain currently plaguing Luciel's personal life... It all seemed to add up. He really hoped it was drugs. It would be much easier to end an addiction than to mend a fractured mind.

  
Perhaps he should try again to talk to Luciel. Maybe by now he'd be calm. Vanderwood hadn't had much success before getting through to him. Luciel refused to cooperate, unwilling to explain the situation, or to say much of anything, really. This was too strange; normally he always had something to run his mouth about. After that, Vanderwood had given him more than enough time alone- more than twelve hours!- to rest, and to eat, though he suspected that Luciel probably hadn't touched the food he'd placed in the secure room, since it had been real food rather than chips and soda. Vanderwood lifted the key from its hook by the room in question, slowly unlocking the door to peek inside, careful to use his body to barricade the escape route.

  
Luciel jumped when Vanderwood opened the door, visibly unnerved by the other man's presence. He cowered in the far corner of the room, as if he saw his handler as a threat. Furthermore, he seemed anxious to escape the confines of this space, looking wide-eyed over Vanderwood's shoulder, body tense as if he intended to make a break for it as soon as he saw an opening. This was odd. Luciel never seemed to mind being locked away in a room. Every time Vanderwood would go by his home, he'd be tucked away in that one small room, parked in front of his computer, huddled in a nest of empty chip bags. Then again, Luciel had been doing that of his own free will. He didn't exactly get a choice when coming here. Still, one would think that the man would trust his supervisor a little more than this. Luciel's distress didn't seem to be exclusively emotional, however. He'd broken out into a cold sweat since Vanderwood's last check-in, fluid beading up on his flesh as he vibrated uncontrollably. His facial expression gave him away too, detailing his apparent discomfort.

  
Vanderwood slowly stepped into the room, closing the door behind him, trying to keep his voice low and soft. "Will you please talk to me about what's going on with you?" Luciel turned away from him, facing into the corner, hunching his shoulders and ducking his head. He said nothing. "Luciel, please listen to me. I don't know what you've been going through, recently, but-" The young man's head whipped around to shoot Vanderwood a dirty look over his shoulder, and he gave an irritated grunt. "Look, I _know_ you know better than to act like this. I'm your handler. I need to know what is happening. You can trust-"

  
"I'm not Luciel!" the young man snapped at him suddenly, turning around to face him.

  
_Bullshit._ Vanderwood narrowed his eyes, sighing through his nose in exasperation. He very much wasn't in the mood to play games right now. Luciel was clearly lying through his teeth, thinking he could fool the other man with a disguise. Despite dyeing his hair, faking that large tattoo, and wearing contacts, he looked exactly the same as he normally did, if not a little thinner than usual. Still, Vanderwood couldn't understand why Luciel would lie to him about his identity. It didn't make any sense. It couldn't be some kind of dissassociative state, could it? That sort of thing typically happened as a result of severe trauma, right? Had something happened that Vanderwood somehow didn't realize? "Luciel, did something happen while you were doing the coding for the-"

  
"I don't know what you're talking about."

  
_So you want to play hardball, hmmm?_ It seemed as though Vanderwood would have to play along for now. _Fine._ "If you're really not Luciel, prove it."

  
Luciel rolled his eyes. "And how exactly do you expect me to do that?"

  
"Remove your shirt and turn around." Just seeing that tell-tale "707" tattoo would be proof enough for Vanderwood.

  
The young man immediately seemed alarmed. His entire body went tense, and his eyes grew wide. "W-What?!" he choked.

 

"Luciel has a tattoo on his back. If you do not, then it will prove that you're a different person."

  
"I don't have a tattoo on my back." He crossed his arms, refusing to comply with Vanderwood's request.

  
"Then show me."

  
"No."

  
Vanderwood had had quite enough of this. He lurched forward to catch the younger man in the crook of his arm. Not-Luciel thrashed about in response, making sounds like a wounded animal as he was forcefully turned around, eventually going limp as Vanderwood reached for the hem of his shirt. He whined softly, anxiously as his shirt was lifted, revealing the expanse of pale flesh.

  
Vanderwood blinked rapidly, shocked to find no tattoo on this man's back whatsoever. _It can't be..._ But it was. Somehow, he'd been holding the wrong person captive this whole time. He immediately let go, and the young man scrambled away from him, still looking upset. "I...apologize. I really was mistaken." Vanderwood moved over to the door, opening it wide. "You are, of course, free to go." The stranger gave him a weird look before crossing his arms over his chest and shuffling out of his confinement and then, out of the house. The older man watched him step outside onto the quiet, dark, residential street, pausing for a minute and looking both ways before arbitrarily choosing a direction. This still bothered him. If that man wasn't Luciel, then who was he. It occurred to him that he might be someone from whatever "Mint Eye" was. Vanderwood tried to push it from his mind; it wouldn't do him any good to worry about it.

  
Still, something didn't _quite_ add up. That man had looked _just like_ Luciel. _But how..._ Luciel didn't have any siblings. Vanderwood made it a point to know everything about him. Furthermore, if that wasn't him, then _where the hell_ had the real Luciel gone?! He hurried back into the main room, digging into his bag for the GPS tracker and hurriedly turning it on. His agent's little green dot appeared on the screen, right on top of the boxy polygon that symbolized the bunker. After all that, Luciel was at _home_?! Vanderwood felt relieved, but none of this made sense. He reached for his jacket. He'd need to speak with Luciel as soon as possible.

  
\---

  
Saeran walked briskly down the nearly-empty street, keeping his head down and hoping no one would pay too much attention to him. He had absolutely no idea where he was, not that he'd be able to navigate even in the case that he did. He'd been locked up in one place for most of his childhood, and then somewhere else for his adolescence. For the first time, he really was all on his own. Of course, there'd been plenty of times in the past when he'd _felt_ alone, but at least during those times he'd had _someone_ to instruct him. He felt frightened, actually, for the first time in a long time. He was helplessly lost, with no one to help him or tell him what he should do next, and on top of all of that, he'd started to go through withdrawal. It had been about a day and a half now, since that strange man snatched him up, a day and a half without taking the substances that his Savior gave him for his health, the ones that kept him from getting sick like he was now. Saeran almost wanted to panic, never having been in a situation remotely similar to this, and not knowing how to save himself, but he knew that wouldn't do him much good.

  
He needed to be reunited with his Savior, if for no other reason than the fact that he had nowhere else to go. She would take care of him, as She always had. She would give him his medication, and end this rapidly-increasing discomfort. More than that, he needed direction. Saeran had never in his life made decisions for himself. His mother, Saeyoung, then his Savior...they decided what he should do, what his path should be. He'd be completely helpless on his own. If only he could get back to Her, he'd be okay. One question remained: where would She be now? Saeyoung and the other two had destroyed Mint Eye's headquarters, right?

  
She wouldn't be there, but Saeran could easily find out where to find Her. Finally, he located a pay phone, looking around to make sure he wouldn't be heard placing his call. He dug a few coins from his pocket, just enough to talk for a few minutes. He wouldn't need longer than that. Holding the phone to his ear, Saeran dropped the coins into the slot, dialing the line the Savior had set up in case of emergencies like this. After a couple of rings, a monotone voice answered. "Pass code, please."

  
"The sun is the mother of all things."

  
The line stayed quiet for a moment before the voice returned. "Please hold for instructions."


	96. Target

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Content warning for oddly-timed sex things.

"You did _what_ now?!" Saeyoung blinked rapidly as he stared at his handler, unable to process what he'd just been told.

  
"I followed you to that 'Mint Eye' place, and accidentally took who I presume to be one of the members hostage, thinking that it was you," Vanderwood calmly explained. "I released him once I realized that I was mistaken."

  
Saeyoung held his head in his hands. "You _had_ one of them? And you _let them go_?"

  
"I have no stake in this business of yours, Luciel," Vanderwood frowned. "It _was_ strange, however. This young man...his resemblance to you was simply uncanny..."

  
All color drained from the redhead's face. "Did...Did he have bleached-white hair? With pink tips?"

  
"Yes, that's right. Why? An acquaintance of yours?"

  
"He...He's my twin brother."

  
Though it had seemed like the correct decision at the time, Vanderwood now regretted letting the young man leave. "Luciel...I am very sorry. I had no idea..."

  
Saeyoung shook his head. "You don't need to apologize. I shouldn't have hidden that fact." He squeezed his eyes shut. "Do you have any idea where he went after you freed him?"

  
"I'm sorry. I do not."

  
"We'll need to try and find him as quickly as possible." The young man removed his glasses, massaging the bridge of his nose. "He is a dangerous person, and I believe he will be armed. That's why I went there- to try and stop him from attacking the other RFA members. I know he's going to try again."

  
Mina cautiously stepped into the room then, a horrified expression on her face. She held a small tablet computer belonging to Saeyoung. "Y-You should see this." Its normal interface had been replaced with a solid black background, glowing green text blinking on top of it.

  
"Hello, Saeyoung."

 

Hands shaking, he took it from her, slowly typing a response. "Saeran? Is that you?"

  
"Hello, big brother." Despite his words, this second greeting held no familial warmth.

  
"Saeran, please come home," Saeyoung implored him.

  
He could almost hear a cold laugh coming from the other end. "Oh, I won't be coming home, I'm afraid." Before Saeyoung could respond again, another message arrived. "It's over for you... All of you. This is the end for RFA." The brief texts kept coming. "Where should I start, dear brother? Perhaps with that delightful boy who attacked me so brutishly? Though...it would be such a shame to tear him from the arms of his beloved when they've had so little time together... Perhaps I should begin with that pretty lady who came at me with a broom when I dropped by unexpectedly... Or maybe...I'll start with your 'fearless' leader." Saeyoung could practically see the cruel grin. "The one who ran off right when you needed him most."

  
While his twin continued monologuing, Saeyoung scrambled for his main computer, where he connected with the tablet, fingers flying across the desktop's keyboard. Long strings of code appeared, executing a command he'd run many times before. It didn't take long before a small map appeared on the main screen, "loading" symbol spinning. Finally a blinking green dot found its place on the diagram; Saeyoung's trace had been successful. Saeran was still in the city. Then again, he hadn't had much time to get anywhere else. Still, his location didn't seem to be changing. There was no reason to believe that he wouldn't make good on his threats.

  
Saeyoung dug out his phone, signing into a new chatroom on the RFA application. The others joined him rather quickly, but he wasn't surprised. After everything that had happened, they were hungry for news, desperate for some kind of status update, to know exactly where they stood now in terms of safety. He didn't hesitate to share with them. "Mint Eye has made contact again."

  
"I assume they have made a statement of some kind?" Jaehee seemed calm, but Saeyoung had to wonder if, inside, she felt just as frightened.

  
"They said that this was the end of RFA. I think they intend to kill all of us."

  
"I think the fuck not."

  
"Yuki, please." Zen attempted to calm his girlfriend. "What was the specific wording?"

  
"They kept talking about 'where to start.' I took it to mean: 'Who will be the first target?'" Saeyoung explained.

  
"Did they name names?"

  
"I think they mean to start with V. We need to get in contact with him. Does anyone know where he went? I could try to run a trace on his phone, but it won't work if it's turned off. Besides, time is precious right now."

  
Jumin spoke finally. "I know where he is."

  
\---

  
Kat's hands slid up the front of Jihyun's shirt, exploring the body which was by now familiar to her. He gave a short little pant against her mouth as her fingertips grazed his collarbone, already tired of these stupid clothes that always seemed to get in the way. Now that they'd broken the seal holding everything back, they loved one another fiercely, desperately, without hesitation. They were constantly in the other's company, inseparable even between those tempestuous moments of intimacy, which remained rather frequent. Jihyun felt certain that they'd remained in the bedroom for a full day after that first time. He hadn't realized just how touch-starved he'd been. Now, he watched Kat amorously as she pulled away briefly to dispose of her restrictive garments, whipping them across the room. She was a rather indulgent lover, he'd discovered, not that it surprised him, quick to pick up on his tastes and appeal to them.

  
She reached for the front of Jihyun's pants, swiftly undoing them. "I want to try something."

  
"Should I be nervous?" he laughed in return, nervous.

  
Shaking her head, she applied a gentle pressure to his shoulders, indicating he should lie down. He complied, and she shuffled downward, pulling off his troublesome pants and underwear. A raspy grunt fell past Jihyun's lips as the cool air of the room met his stiff cock, but Kat's hands quickly warmed him again, gripping him firmly as she pressed her lips against the sensitive underside. "You don't have to..."

  
"But...I _want_ to," she murmured against him, licking her way upward to suck gently on the swollen head.

  
"Oh..." Jihyun's breath hitched as she took him fully in her mouth. " _Ohhh..._ " He threw his head back at the sudden, intense sensation. He wanted to protest, insist that she needn't do so much for him, but this felt _so damn good_. He'd never had someone do this for him before- Rika thought herself above it- and he hadn't necessarily seen the appeal...until now.

  
He hadn't expected it to feel quite this good. Of course Kat's mouth was delightfully warm and wet, as would seem obvious, but her tongue proved to be quite skilled as well; she pressed it against the underside as she moved, making her partner shiver and cry out. She kept looking up at him with those bright, blue eyes, hooded in lust. Something about it felt terribly lewd, but in the most enjoyable way. It occurred to Jihyun that there _was_ one thing he'd like to try; if Kat was willing to use her mouth in _this_ way, perhaps she'd be open to other, similar acts. Then again, would she really go for _that_? This particular thing might be pushing her limits a little bit. It might be _too_ lewd. Without really realizing how his thoughts influenced his actions, Jihyun began to lightly, subconsciously angle his hips upward, as if asking her silently.

  
Kat pulled away for a moment, turning her head curiously. An odd smile crept across her face, and her eyes sparkled with devious realization. "Do...Do you want your ass licked?" Jihyun flushed a deep red, effectively answering her question. Now that she'd said it out loud, he had to admit that it really did sound crude. At the same time, she didn't seem to be put off by it at all. It suddenly occurred to him that maybe she was someone with whom he could be brutally honest about his desires, and they could talk about them before ultimately deciding whether they wanted to give something a try. Even if she wasn't interested in a specific act, she wouldn't judge him for it, or make him feel ashamed.

  
Jihyun chewed his lip for a moment. "It...I always thought that it might feel good. I'm...worried that you might find it disgusting..." It felt odd, to be this open with someone about something so private.  
"Turn over." She cocked a wry grin. Burying his face in a pillow, Jihyun did as he was told, spreading his legs and lifting his backside slightly. He felt more than a little exposed like this. "I haven't ever done this before, but I'm not opposed to it. I'll try most things at least once." She gave his ass a quick little pat. "Don't feel embarrassed or nothin', you won't be the only one who likes a little attention back there." Without another word, she rubbed the tip of her index finger against him, just to test how he'd react to this sort of stimulation before diving in. His body went rigid at first, the feeling unfamiliar, but as she touched him gently, he began to relax, moaning softly at the attention given to this sensitive spot. Once she'd gotten him eased into it, Kat pulled her finger away, replacing it with her mouth.

  
A wet heat met Jihyun's ass, and he couldn't help moaning deeply; it was shockingly intense. He felt a little vulnerable, positioned like this, being touched in such an intimate and, to more closed-minded people, depraved manner. Though, that seemed to make it even better somehow. Being like this with someone he could truly trust to be good to him was refreshing, and frankly arousing. He loved having her take care of him.

  
This felt _obscenely_ good. Jihyun's lower half burned with pleasure, every nerve ending in his body tingling. Though, he supposed it made sense that that part of him would be sensitive; there _were_ quite a few nerve endings in that place. He quivered in delight, moaning continuously as he was licked and prodded. As the moments passed, his noises grew increasingly pitched, cracking here and there as the heat between his thighs mounted. He found this surprisingly erotic, his body yielding to Kat fully, his cock twitching, leaking precum onto the sheets.

  
Still, he didn't want to finish yet, not having reciprocated the pleasure. Jihyun lifted his face from the pillow suddenly. "I want to do something for you too."

  
"Of course," she mumbled. "Just let me finish you, and then-"

  
"No, I want to touch you _now_." He turned over, resuming his previous position. "I want to make _you_ feel good, while you make _me_ feel good." Jihyun lowered his eyelids invitingly. "Come here and let me taste you, my love."

  
Smiling, Kat obliged him, crawling on top of him and backing up until he could put his mouth against her, and taking Jihyun back in her mouth, sucking a little faster and harder than before. Jihyun wasted no time reciprocating, licking her exactly how he knew she liked. He loved doing this for her; it had been one of the first things he'd wanted to try after their initial coupling. Until now, he hadn't let her do the same for him, but perhaps he should have sooner. It felt even better, doing it together like this. Jihyun started to feel that he neared completion; the tension built faster now. Willfully, he held back, wanting to finish at the same time as his lover. He started to wonder if it would be too perverse to cum inside her mouth. It seemed like it would be unpleasant for her, but it also seemed that Kat wanted him to do just that. It grew rather difficult to think about it too much, Jihyun's mind more focused on other things.

  
Letting out a low moan, Kat started to tremble, her legs quivering involuntarily. If Jihyun could just hold on a little longer, they could come together. He focused his attentions on her most sensitive spot, pressing his tongue against her just a little bit more intensely, making her toes curl. Suddenly her back spasmed sharply, and Jihyun clutched her tight as she shivered in ecstasy, digging his fingers into the flesh of her ass, flicking his tongue relentlessly. She continued to move, albeit more erratically, whimpering around him, voice muffled by his... Jihyun couldn't hold on any longer. He came undone, his release filling her mouth, only serving to make her moans that much louder. He gasped noisily as he continued to twitch, and she stilled, waiting for the pooling heat to cease.  
"Good?" Kat lifted herself off of him, wiping away a bit of fluid that lingered on her bottom lip. She looked rather satisfied with herself.

  
Jihyun gave her a funny look. "Did...Did you _swallow_ it?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"Oh...Oh my..." He gave an embarrassed chuckle as he went red again, covering his eyes with one hand. Kat curled up next to him, resting her head on his chest. "For the record, it _was_ good. _Really good_."

  
She looked up, grinning. "Next time, let me lick your ass until you cum."

  
Jihyun peeked at her through his fingers. "You...You didn't hate it?"

  
"Nope! I had fun doing it. I-" Her sentence was cut short by Jihyun's phone vibrating on the nightstand. He looked over to see Jumin's name on the screen. "You should answer. It's probably important."

  
Jihyun nodded, reaching for the device. "Jumin?"

  
"V! Thank god... I need you to listen to me." Jumin's voice sounded frantic. "Mint Eye has been in contact with Luciel. They made threats against RFA... They seemed to know that you've left the city. I'm sending more security now..."

  
Jihyun's head started to spin. "Jumin... What's happening?!"

  
"I think...I think they're coming for you."


	97. Weapon of Choice

Jihyun felt concerned that Kat might very well wear a groove into the hard-wood floor if she kept pacing like this. He could tell that the sudden news from Jumin had made her frantic, running her hands through her hair and making little sounds of distress. He'd been trying for several hours to get her to sit down next to him and at least attempt to relax, but he'd found little success. Kat seemed to be thinking hard, looking for a way for them to get out of this mess. She didn't appear to be getting anywhere, merely getting herself more and more worked-up. Her eyes were filled with fear and anger simultaneously, both furious with Mint Eye for doing this, and terrified for her and Jihyun's safety. Occasionally, she'd look back at Jihyun, and, for a moment, the anger would wane as her loving worry took over completely.

  
She lingered by the large living room window, chewing her fingernails and staring outside, and he went to stand beside her, wrapping his arm around her protectively. She returned the gesture, holding him tight as she leaned her head against him. "Everything is going to be okay," Jihyun murmured, gently rubbing her shoulder.

  
Kat gave a small whine. "You don't know that."

  
"Jumin is sending more security guards here, and everyone in RFA is working hard, doing what they can to keep us safe," he reminded her.

  
"But what if _they_ get here first? They want to hurt you, Ji... They want to _kill_ you!"

  
"I know." Jihyun's voice was solemn. "But right now...we just have to have faith. That's all we can do, until help arrives."

  
Kat turned to embrace him fully, laying her head against his chest. "I'm scared, Jihyun."

  
"I know. I am too. I hate that I got you involved in all of this."

  
"Don't worry about that." She shook her head. "I just... I can't stand the thought of losing you."

  
The crackling rumble of tires on gravel road could be heard from outside, and Kat craned her neck to peer out the window. To her relief, a group of similarly-dressed men in sunglasses and crisp suits climbed out of the black sedan; it seemed that Jumin's security team had arrived. A couple of SUVs pulled up behind the first vehicle, with a surprising number of men pouring out of them. Though her facial expression remained nervous, a bit of the tension appeared to leave Kat's shoulders, reassured by the team's arrival. One man opened the back of one of the vehicles, and several of his peers swarmed over to help unload a couple of large wooden crates and a few black nylon bags, seemingly weighed down by heavy contents.

  
The two guards Jumin had sent before hurried to the front door to help the others with their cargo, bringing the items into the living room and placing them on the floor. "What _is_ all of this?" Kat asked, bewildered.

  
"You're welcome to take a look inside, but please be careful," one guard cautioned her. She tentatively lifted the lid of one crate, carefully placing the lid on the floor beside it. Inside, nestled in a bed of packing material, lay several massive rifles, complete with state-of-the-art scopes and silencers. Kat gave a low whistle, tracing a finger over the grip.

  
She looked back up hopefully at one of the security guards. "W-We should be armed, too, right? Just in case?"

  
The man in question rubbed his chin hesitantly, thinking. "I'm not sure that would be safe..."

  
"Would you like to see my concealed carry permit? I've completed all the necessary procedures to safely and legally own and carry a firearm in the United States."

  
The guard seemed to relax a little. "Oh, well, if that's the case...but please do be careful! I'll be held liable if anything goes wrong."

  
Kat rather casually wandered over to a silver attache case laying on the sofa, flipping it open to reveal two heavy silver handguns. Jihyun could practically see her salivating. _It's like she's going shopping!_ Making certain that the safety had been switched on, she slipped one of the two weapons into the back of her pants, holding the other out toward him. "You remember what I taught you before, right? In Texas?" Jihyun thought back to that hazy afternoon in the desert, Kat's hands on his hips as she squared his posture, reminding him to hold his arms straight out as he stared down the metal barrel. He squeezed, and, with a deafening _POP_ , the beer can ten meters away tumbled off its resting place on a boulder.

  
"Yes, I remember." He tucked the heavy object into his pants as Kat had done, hoping that he wouldn't be forced to use it. Target practice with inanimate objects was one thing, but the prospect of having to shoot a living person in a desperate grab for survival was quite another.

  
"Don't worry," she assured him. "The gun's only a last resort. I promise I'm gonna protect you."

  
Jihyun shook his head, laughing softly at the subtle irony of the situation. "I should be the one protecting you."

  
"You're the one in danger!" Kat frowned. "No matter what happens... Even if it kills me. I swear I'm going to keep you safe."

  
\---

  
Leaving her tattooed arm exposed, Yuki wrapped the fine silk yukata around herself. She passed Zen the long, coordinating sash, and he carefully looped it around her waist, following her detailed instructions to tie it securely. Though he did not voice his thoughts, Yuki could detect his frustration. She reached back into the wardrobe, removing the long, wooden box that held a gleaming, hand-smithed sword, a gift from her grandfather on her eighteenth birthday. She slipped it partway out of its sheath, admiring the simple inscription on the blade: _Asano_. Her face changed slightly as she gazed into the nearby mirror; this was not the woman she'd wanted to be for a long time, but it was the one that RFA needed now. _Ane-san..._

  
"I don't like this," Zen said finally.

  
Yuki turned back to face him, looking into his ruby eyes, heavy with worry. "I know. I don't either. But everyone needs me right now. I have the resources to help stop Rika before she hurts anyone, so I have a responsibility to act." Her eyes softened. "Everyone is doing whatever they can. _This_ -" she gestured to her dramatic appearance, to her weapon of choice. "This is what I can do."

  
Zen reached forward to hold her face in his hands. "I'm worried about you."

  
"It'll be okay." Yuki placed her hands over his. "I won't be alone. Jumin's security guards, Kat, V, not to mention my grandfather's men... They'll all be there with me."

  
"Just promise me... _Promise_ me you'll come home safe."

  
She leaned up to brush a delicate kiss to her lover's lips. "I promise."

  
He followed her to the door as a black car pulled up out front. Zen gathered her up in his arms, kissing her deeply, desperately. In the depths of his mind he feared that this kiss might be their last. He needed to make it count. He clutched her tight, aching for just a few more moments together.

  
"No matter what happens, I'll love you forever, Yuki." Zen's voice cracked just a little as he let his love go, straight to the lion's den.

  
"You are in my heart always, Hyun," she replied, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

  
"You should go. You've got a hundred Yakuza waiting for you."

  
\---

  
Jumin stood in the middle of his massive closet, gazing at his extensive collection of clothing. He'd be meeting his security team at the cabin, but he wasn't quite sure how he should dress for something like this. _What exactly does one wear to a final showdown, anyway?_ He finally settled on a pair of chino pants and a simple, cotton button-up shirt, the most casual items he owned; he wasn't totally certain how much he'd need to move when things got intense. Sun-Mi watched him intently from the other side of the room, her eyes following his every movement. Her furrowed brow and worried expression gave away her true feelings; she didn't want to let Jumin go. He wasn't exactly fond of the idea either; he didn't want to leave Sun-Mi here alone, and risk leaving her side forever. At the same time, he wouldn't dare take her with him, and expose her to that kind of danger. Either way, Jumin had a responsibility to go, to take responsibility for RFA in the best way that he could.

  
Jaehee had taken up that responsibility as well, waiting patiently in the living room, sitting stiffly on the leather couch. She too would be going on this- she hesitated to think- _suicide_ mission, not wanting to sit idly by as other RFA members put themselves in danger for the good of the organization. She'd chosen to dress practically, in a black turtleneck shirt and a pair of stretchy pants, rather than her normal, stiff work clothes. She couldn't very well kick Mint Eye ass in heels, could she? Zen's image illuminated her phone screen as she quietly watched one of his theatre performances, trying to occupy her mind with something a little more pleasant.

  
Sun-Mi frowned. This really went above and beyond Jaehee's duties to C&R, didn't it? An administrative assistant shouldn't be expected to confront a religious cult, simply because they posed a threat to her boss's charity organization, right? Sun-Mi had to wonder if the other woman had felt pressured to go along, and the idea nagged at her incessantly. "You really shouldn't put Jaehee in danger like this," she said, unable to hold back her thoughts any longer.

  
Jumin didn't even turn to look at her. "It will be fine."

  
"But-"'

  
"Assistant Kang is coming along of her own accord, so you needn't worry about it." He faced her finally, expression firm and reassuring. "She suggested this, as she actually has a black belt in judo. I believe Assistant Kang is more than capable of taking care of herself, should the situation become dangerous. Besides..." Jumin sighed. "...we're not really in a position to refuse her assistance. We need everyone doing what they can to help. She is a member of RFA too; Assistant Kang is contributing the same as everyone else." Jumin paused, fear flashing across his face for just a brief moment. "Well, we should probably get going. We shouldn't keep V and Miss Stolz waiting."

  
He turned and headed into the living room, where Jaehee stood, and the three of them walked together to the front door. Sun-Mi felt sick to see them go, as if Jumin and Jaehee were headed straight to their doom. "Please take care of each other," she pleaded, her voice soft. Jumin embraced her, gently at first so as to not be improper in front of his employee. However, his fear of this being his last moment with Sun-Mi took over, and he held her tightly, stroking her hair and giving her a quick kiss. Jaehee looked away, feeling a little guilty that Jumin wouldn't get the same private good-bye that she'd gotten.

  
After a few brief moments, he pulled away from his fiancee, giving her cheek one last loving stroke, and motioned for Jaehee to follow him outside. Sun-Mi watched them go, willing herself not to cry.

  
_Please... Be safe, everyone._


	98. The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of today, I'm on Day 10 of V's route (I know). Because I started writing this fic so long ago, with very little information about Rika's characterization, I unfortunately ended up writing her into a corner, when canonically, she reacts to things very differently than I wrote. Instead of making her as multi-faceted as she really is, I ended up making her a salty jealous bitch. That's my bad as a writer. So basically, take this with a grain of salt and call it an AU.

\---

The black SUV shuddered a little as it shifted gears to adjust to the climbing elevation, sunlight reflecting off of its tinted windows. Rika huffed, folding her arms across her chest, clad in her special ceremonial robes which dictated her elevated status. Her expression was sour, as if she'd smelled something unpleasant. Despite her foul demeanor, Saeran felt grateful to have gotten back to her safely; after all, she _was_ the one person he could count on to care for and protect him. Upon his arrival to her safe house, she'd promptly provided him with the special elixir, and he'd quickly regained his strength, feeling much better almost immediately. Now, he couldn't wait to take revenge on RFA for what they'd done to him, to Rika, to Mint Eye. He'd get his opportunity soon enough, as they'd be arriving at Jumin Han's cabin before long, where that traitorous V was currently hiding. Saeran had made his Savior so proud by managing to locate her betrayer. He sincerely hoped that he could make her proud again today, assisting her however she needed in finally destroying RFA once and for all.

"It's ridiculous, really," Rika spoke finally, unable to keep her irritation to herself any longer. "There was no need for them to run off and hide like this! To make me come all the way out here!" She sneered. "Then again, V always _was_ the selfish one. All he had to do was stop associating with that little slut. If he'd only taken responsibility for what he's done...maybe we could offer him salvation. But that would be too difficult for him, now wouldn't it?! To admit that _maybe_ the _almighty V_ did something wrong!" Rika gritted her teeth. " _He's_ the one that made me like this!"

Saeran sighed sympathetically. "It can't be helped, I'm afraid. RFA is rotten to the core. There isn't anything we can do about it." He frowned. "They simply must be punished for all of the awful things that they've done."

"All we're trying to do is make people happy!" Rika balled her hands into fists.

"That's right," Saeran agreed. "You wanted to create a world free of pain. Your ambitions are noble! RFA must be full of sick people to want to prevent that!"

Rika's lips curled into a cruel grin. "Yes, you're right! They've all been poisoned by V's influence! They _chose_ to let him manipulate them. They all should be held accountable for what he's done!"

"Yes! They should hurt in the same way that we've been hurt!" Saeran's mind drifted back to the two RFA members that he hated most. _Saeyoung abandoned me... V too... He's a liar, and a hypocrite!_ His eyelids drooped a little. "V and Saeyoung are beyond all hope, I'm afraid. Everything would be better if they just died!" Saeran's voice dropped to a harsh growl. "Then, they couldn't hurt anyone anymore!"

"Then, of course, there's that little whore," Rika spat. "She really thinks she can _save_ V? A traitor like that? If she wanted him saved so badly, she should have turned him over to me! _I'm_ the _real_ savior!" Her lips pulled back unpleasantly. "She took what is rightfully mine! She tried to make him forget about me! About what he did to me!" Rika leaned back in her seat, hands gripping at the leather just a little too tightly. "I'll deal with her myself."

Despite his fervor, one coherent thought broke through Saeran's mind. "I'm a little worried that we won't have enough manpower, not to mention that our information is lacking..." When Saeyoung and his compatriots had attacked Mint Eye headquarters, and subsequently destroyed the place with that nasty bomb, most of the organization's resources had been lost. Almost all of their computer equipment had been rendered unusable, so no one really knew exactly what to expect once they arrived at the cabin. They couldn't be sure if it would only be V and his companion, or if all of RFA would have gathered together. Furthermore, many Mint Eye devotees had died in the blast, leaving them a bit short-handed. "If they're brought reinforcements, we might very well be outnumbered."

Rika gently placed her hand on top of Saeran's. "Remember, they might not even know that we're coming. Since our servers were destroyed, there's nothing left for them to hack." She grinned smugly. "Besides, we're only really after three people: Saeyoung, V, and that _woman_. If anyone else is there, I will give them a very generous choice. I will give them a one-time opportunity to leave RFA, and join us. They can be blessed by my salvation, and be freed from their pain."

Saeran wrinkled his nose. "Do you really think they deserve it? After being affected by V for so long?"

"It is true that it will be difficult to retrain their minds," Rika conceded. "But the fault does not lie with them. V has been lying to them all this time. We cannot reasonably expect them to accept the truth when they've never been presented with it in the first place. If the rest of RFA has any fault, it's that they trusted V too easily." She folded her hands neatly in her lap, gazing out the window. "That being said, they're not past all hope."

\---

Having had his face buried in his laptop for the past several hours, just watching that green dot slowly move closer and closer, Saeyoung stood finally, looking at everyone gathered around the living room, waiting. He had, of course, been tracking Saeran via GPS, and now he, and Rika, presumably, drew near. "They're getting close now. Is everything prepared?"

Kat poured herself a shot of whiskey, holding up the bottle to offer it to anyone else who needed a little liquid courage. "I think we're 'bout as ready as we're gonna be."

The "supplies" brought by Jumin's security guards had been strategically hidden; they'd been concealed from view, but remained easily accessible in the event that they were needed. "We should probably go ahead and get into position," Saeyoung suggested. Everyone who had come to support RFA carefully hid themselves from view, ducking behind furniture and counters, and stepping into darkened rooms. A muffled "oh shit" could be heard from the kitchen as Yuki's sword clanked loudly against the tile floor.

As impressive as this support team was, Jumin thought it best not to show their hand to Mint Eye too quickly. Even the cars out front had been moved, making it seem as though only Jihyun and Kat remained here presently. It would be better to let Rika believe that. If she assumed that she had obtained the upper hand, she'd be more likely to get cocky, more likely to make a mistake.

After some tense minutes had passed, several unfamiliar vehicles arrived out front, led by an SUV with tinted windows that concealed the identities of its passengers. Kat and Jihyun exchanged a panicked glance; though their comrades remained close by, they still felt very much alone in this moment. The time taken by the new arrivals to enter the cabin only served to heighten the sense of dread already permeating the space. Jihyun turned to his lover, enveloping her in one last loving embrace, squeezing her tight as if trying to convery every bit of affection possible in this final, fleeting moment. "No matter what happens now...I love you, Kat."

"I love you too, Ji." Reluctantly, they finally separated, Kat assuming what could only be described as a "power stance."

No sooner had they turned to face the front door that it swung open forcefully, cracking across the middle from the force exerted by a swift kick from a lithe, white-haired young man. Only he and Rika entered the dwelling, but more Mint Eye members lingered outside, presumably. Fortunately, neither of the intruders appeared to be armed. Then again, RFA didn't _appear_ to be armed, either. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the _lovebirds_ ," Rika sneered. Neither of Rika's enemies made any attempt to deny it, and she felt reassured that she'd been right to suspect this woman after all.

The way the blonde gazed at her made Kat's skin crawl. "You don't deny it," Rika purred, before her voice turned sour. "You fucked him, didn't you."

"Yeah, and I sucked his dick, too." Maybe it wasn't wise to provoke Rika, but Kat wasn't too fond of the way Rika questioned her sexual choices, and the choices of a man who was no longer a part of her life.

Rika's lip curled. "You've got a smart mouth. Are you really so foolish to think that you can pull him away from me? He _loves_ me. Did you think you could persuade him? With your cunt?"

"Don't be vulgar, Rika." Jihyun's voice carried a strict warning.

"It doesn't matter." Rika sighed, waving him off. "In fact, it's good that you got to have some fun here at the end."

"A-At the end?"

She feigned a look of sympathy. "Did no one tell you? It's all over for you now. Of course...this could all have been avoided, if you hadn't taken what wasn't yours."

"You leave Kat out of this."

"You're right, Rika." Kat clenched her fists. "He isn't mine. And he isn't yours, either. Jihyun isn't a prize to be owned! He's a human being! He only belongs to himself."

Rika lowered her eyelids. "Still, you're willing to trade your life for him, aren't you?"

Before Kat could respond, Jihyun quickly changed the subject. "Why are you here, Rika?"

"To bring the wrath that you deserve! No one else is willing to hold you accountable for what you've done, so I must deliver your punishment myself!"

"Why are you doing this?" Kat implored her. "Why do you hate us so much?! What did we ever do to you?!"

"Do you want to tell her, V? Do you want to tell your perfect, precious girlfriend what you did to me?!" Rika turned to Kat. "He made me like this!"

"That's not true..."

"Oh, shut up! Shut up! You don't know what happened in our relationship! V tried to kill the darkness inside of me..." Rika looked like she might actually cry.

"Is...that a bad thing?"

"I'll concede that our relationship wasn't healthy on _either_ end," Jihyun interjected. "I was too indulgent with you, Rika. I tried so hard just to make you happy, that I let things get out of hand. I always just gave you whatever you wanted, when I should have been standing up to you, because sometimes what you wanted wasn't healthy. My fault is that I never asked for anything in return. Your fault is that you abused me."

"Here's what I think, Rika," Kat sighed. "You want to feel like a victim, so that you can justify behaving however you want. It doesn't matter what people do for you. You just twist the situation to fit your narrative." She squared her shoulders. "You manipulate people. You abuse people. And when someone finally calls you on it, you want to point the finger at anyone else. You have what's called an 'External Locus of Control.' In other words, you don't take responsibility for the harm you cause to others." For a moment, Kat looked sympathetic. "You _are_ sick, and that isn't your fault, but it isn't an excuse! Maybe Jihyun didn't love you in the way that you needed, but in the end, it was still _you_ that became the aggressor." She shook her head, sighing. "You're not a victim, you're just an asshole."

"Whatever, you don't know me!" Rika screamed, then composed herself. "Not that it matters anyway... No one is here to save you. You can think of me however you like. Your thoughts will die along with you!"

Yuki chose this moment to emerge from the kitchen, hand on the hilt of her sword. "That's where you're wrong, Rika."

Saeyoung followed her lead. "Did you really think we would leave them all alone in a dangerous situation like this?"

"You should probably just surrender now and make things easier on yourself," Jumin suggested, striding into the room, flanked by his security staff.

"W-Why are you here?!" Rika demanded. "Why would you protect _them_? V _lied_ to you!"

"Because," Jumin reminded her, "they are our _friends_. V only withheld the truth to try and protect RFA. Perhaps he made the wrong choice, but he only had the purest intentions."

"You created RFA to try and recruit sponsors for Mint Eye, right? That's what the 'good cause' was all along," Yuki added. "You tried to create a revenue stream for your cult, but all you did was create the organization which will ultimately destroy it. You're a fool to think that RFA would _ever_ betray V."

Rika sneered. " _You're_ the ones who are being foolish! V doesn't care about you, just like he didn't care about me! Can't you see how selfish he is? What a huge god-complex he has?! I'm only like this _because_ of him! If you're not careful, you'll wind up just the same!" Her sneer became a cruel grin. "But _I_ can save you. Join me, and I can wash away his poisonous influence through my salvation."

"What was that about a 'god-complex,' again?" Yuki smirked. "Anyway, I'm not buying it. Thanks, but no thanks."

Jihyun frowned. "Stop trying to lie your way out of things, Rika."

"Then...you've _all_ betrayed me," Rika whispered. "If that's how you feel, then you can all die together! You didn't really think the two of us would come here all alone, did you? Many of my Believers accompanied us here, and they're waiting outside now. As soon as I give the word, they'll _slaughter_ you."

Yuki made a " _tch_ " noise. "You do know who I am, right?"

"Yuki Asano..." Rika growled. "Or should I call you _Asano-nee_?"

The yukata-clad woman simply lifted a small two-way radio, speaking into it calmly. " _Korosu_." A muffled chorus of gunshots and agonized screams could be heard from outside, lasting for several minutes before dying away to nothing. A bone-chilling atmosphere settled over the room; no one had expected Yuki to go so far to protect RFA.

Rika trembled, pure horror reflected in her eyes. "You..."

Yuki met her gaze, the golden color of her eyes somehow ice-cold. "Don't _ever_ underestimate me. Don't underestimate the person I am willing to become to protect those that I love." Her eyes narrowed. "What do you say, Rika? Will you surrender now?"


	99. He Reached for His Gun but I Pulled Mine First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for violence. Not super-duper graphic but a heads-up just to be on the safe side.

\---

"Y-You _murdered_ them!" Rika shrieked, tears spilling down her cheeks. Despite her willingness to manipulate and abuse her followers, she really did love them, it seemed.

"Only in self-defense," Yuki reminded her, rather unbothered by the situation at hand. "You _did_ come here to kill _us_ , did you not?"

Rika sputtered. "But-But... _My_ cause is just! I simply do what I must to save as many people as possible! If those traitors were permitted to continue poisoning RFA with their influence, you'd never rest until Mint Eye is destroyed!" She grimaced. "I knew you were all rotten! This only confirms it! Why must you continue to _torment_ me in this way?!" Rika covered her face with her hands, weeping dramatically.

Saeran was livid. "How could you do this to her?!" he demanded, lips curling into a snarl. "And to think that she wanted to _save_ you! You should show a little more respect to the _Savior_!" He shook his head. "You're not worthy of her salvation! I already knew it! I tried to warn her! But she is kinder than I am! She wanted to believe that you weren't beyond all hope! You all have proven that you, in fact, are! I hope you're all satisfied with yourselves!"

"We should detain them now," Jumin advised the head of his security staff, who nodded in agreement, motioning to his team. Several men in suits moved quickly forward, prepared to take the two intruders into custody.  
  
"Stay back!" Saeran yelped suddenly, holding out one hand as if that alone would deter Jumin's highly-trained guards. They continued toward him, though he continued to resist. Finally realizing the futility of his situation, Saeran reached toward the back of his pants, brandishing the large, silver handgun from before and waving it around. The security guards drew their own weapons in response, but backed away slowly, not wanting to risk harm to any members of RFA. "Stay back, or I'll start shooting!" He looked frightened, almost, like a cornered animal, his behavior erratic. He pointed his weapon at one person, then another, not quite sure where to go from here. That didn't stop the fear that washed over Jihyun when the gun was pointed at him.

"No one make any sudden movements, he calmly told his companions, holding up his hands.

"Saeran, please put the gun down before you hurt someone!" Saeyoung urged his twin.  
  
"Why would I do that?! The second I do, your guys there..." he gestured toward the security team. "...will arrest me!"

"We can try to resolve this peacefully!"

Saeran scoffed. "You really don't get it, do you? The time for _peace_ has passed!"

"Please..."

"Shut up!" he screamed. "You know, we originally came here for three people. Just three! V, his woman, and you, Saeyoung. Everyone else? They were simply your _victims_ , in our eyes. We wanted to save them! But no... You just couldn't help yourselves... Now, you _all_ can pay."

"I don't want you to get hurt, Saeran!" Saeyoung cried.

"You don't want me to get hurt...that's cute. Truth is, if I go down with the rest of you, then that's just fine with me." Saeran aimed his weapon. "But the traitor dies first!" Jihyun's eyes widened in the split-second he found himself staring down the barrel of the gun.

\---

Two shots, one right after the other, rang out through the cabin. No one could do much of anything for a few moments after, clutching their ears in pain, all sound muffled, as if they had all suddenly been submerged in water. Time seemed to freeze for Jihyun; he hadn't seen the flash in the barrel, but the two shots had been fired. Yet...he felt no pain. _Am I in shock? Am I dying?_ Slowly, mind clouded in horror, he looked down. It puzzled him that a red stain had yet to bloom across his front. His hands met his chest, his abdomen, but no wound was to be found. Saeran must have missed.

An awful thought crept into his mind. _It couldn't be...that he shot Kat instead...to punish me..._ Jihyun's heart jumped in terror. He knew that he should turn to her now, to answer the question that burned him up inside, but his fear almost drowned out his will to know. Still he turned, slowly, heart hammering against his rib cage. Kat did not lay crumpled on the floor, as he had feared, but rather stood proudly, her shoulders squared, arms outstretched, smoke still curling out the end of her own weapon. Shrieks of agony fell from the lips of the man who'd threatened him just a moment before, blood gushing from his dominant hand.

Clutching his wounded appendage, Saeran protested as Kat kicked the handgun away from him, away from Rika. Saeyoung took this moment to come forward, finally given the opportunity to collect his brother, and maybe, in time, begin to mend their relationship. His grip was firm, but gentle on Saeran's shoulders as he tried to take him outside. In spite of his pain, Saeran resisted him, thrashing around and twisting his body in an effort to escape. Though he put up a pretty good fight for someone who'd just been shot, Saeyoung refused to back off. _Not this time. I'm taking you home, my precious brother._ Finally the younger twin went limp in his arms, physically unable to keep fighting.

Jihyun's eyes drifted next to Rika, as she'd been a little too quiet throughout this entire ordeal. From the look on her face, she'd gone into shock, her eyes wide as she stared straight ahead, her entire body shaking. Finally, she gathered the courage to look down, head tilting ever so slowly as her gaze traveled to her abdomen. A spot of deep red colored her white garments, gradually swelling larger and larger. Curiously, as if the severity of her situation had not yet occurred to her, she pressed her fingers to it, the sticky red fluid clinging to her fingertips. Realization hit her at last, and she whimpered, falling to her knees in sudden weakness.

Her demeanor grim, Yuki moved forward forward slowly, the clacking of her shoes ominous on the hardwood floor. She stood in front of Rika, shoulders squared and stance wide as she stared down the other woman. Yuki pulled her sword from its sheath, the metal gleaming under the overhead lights.

"So, you'll betray me one last time, won't you," Rika dared her.

Yuki sighed through her nose, pressing the cold edge of the blade against the blonde's throat. "If we're being honest, the real traitor is you. You know, in many countries, treason is punishable by death." She looked back over her shoulder, raising an eyebrow. "What do you think? Shall I take her head?"

A low growl erupted from Kat's throat. "No." She strode forward confidently, mouth curled into a vicious snarl, prepared to finish what she'd started. The clicking sound of her handgun echoed off the walls of the hushed room as she cocked it, pointing it straight at Rika's face.

Rika grabbed the barrel with both hands, pressing her forehead against it, grinning maniacally. "Do it! Send me to Paradise!"

" _Kein paradies erwartet dich, teufel._ " Kat inhaled and exhaled deeply, preparing herself. "Do you have any final words?"

"Kat, don't!"

\---

Kat turned to look at Jihyun in horror; she couldn't piece together his reason for stopping her. It couldn't be...that he'd had a change of heart regarding Rika, could it? "W-Why? She came here to _kill you_!"

"Yes," he agreed. "But _we_ are better than that. Rika gave in to the darkness inside her. You must not do the same. You're a better person than that, a _stronger_ person than that."

Kat was silent for a moment, almost looking ashamed of herself. "You're right, Jihyun." She handed the gun off to one of Jumin's security guards, her shoulders relaxing. She looked back at Rika. "If you want to go to Paradise, you'll have to do it yourself."

Rika sneered at her. "You're a poor shot anyway. You missed when you tried to shoot my disciple a second time.

" _Ich habe nicht verpasst_ ," Kat smirked back.

No sooner had she returned to her previous position beside Jihyun that Rika slumped over dramatically, sprawling out on the floor, touching her gunshot wound gingerly. She groaned and whimpered, contorting her face in seeming agony. "I...I think I might be dying... V, please..." Jihyun stiffened visibly upon hearing the old name. "Please come here... I have something...I need to tell you." Rika weakly reached a hand out, beckoning him to come closer. Jihyun made a move to go to her, but Kat caught him by the arm.

" _It's a trap!_ " she whispered. " _You don't die from abdominal wound that quickly!_ "

He gave her a gentle smile, squeezing her hand. "I'll be okay."

Almost hesitantly, Jihyun walked over to where Rika lay on the floor, moving slowly as he approached. He knelt beside her, keeping his distance almost instinctively, as if Rika's mere presence threatened him. " _Closer_ ," she whispered, the sound of her voice sending a chill up his spine. Still, he leaned further forward, swallowing hard as he turned his head to listen closely.

Before anyone could act, Rika's hand dove under her robes, retrieving a small, sharp blade. In a single, swift movement, she drove it into Jihyun's flesh, mirroring the placement of her own wound, twisting the knife cruelly as her mouth curled into an unnatural, horrible grin. It all happened so quickly that it took Jihyun a few moments to realize what had taken place, what gruesome act caused everyone to gasp so suddenly. The searing agony finally hit, and terror washed over him as he could only picture the metal implement digging into his guts. In shock, he fell over backward onto the floor, gasping for breath.

Kat's terrorized scream pierced the hushed room as she bent over, supporting her hands on her knees to keep herself from falling down. She stumbled forward, sinking to her knees at her lover's side. Her hands trembled as she ripped off the simple, denim button-up shirt she wore layered over a sleeveless top, folding the garment into a makeshift compress and pressing it against the red stain. Her vision blurred as she looked down at Jihyun, tears already beginning to fall. _I should have shot her when I had the chance!_

\---

Less than ten minutes later they'd somehow managed to get into the back of the one four-door vehicle Saeyoung owned. It hadn't been easy; one never can be too careful when moving a person with a stab wound, but they'd gotten it done. Kat worried about the length of the drive to the nearest emergency room, but Saeyoung drove like a bat out of Hell, and Jumin had somehow arranged a police escort, despite the exceedingly short notice. Perhaps they'd been on-call this entire time. Kat held pressure on Jihyun's injury with one hand, gently petting his hair with the other. She desperately wanted to cry; it hurt so much to see him like this. At the same time, she knew that she needed to be strong for both of them right now. If she could keep calm, perhaps Jihyun could too.

"What if I bleed out before we get there?" he whimpered, terrified.

Kat shook her head. "That's not going to happen."

"How do you know?"

The next question popped out of Kat's mouth before she could consider the ridiculousness of her timing. "Have you ever seen _Reservoir Dogs_? The movie?"

Jihyun gave her an odd look. "No... Why?"

"Let me explain... In the movie, one of the characters gets shot right in the guts, like, where you were stabbed. There's this whole scene where he's in the back of the car, and the others are explaining to him that it takes a really long time to bleed out from that kind of injury."

"Does he though? Bleed out?"

"Huh? Oh, no. When he dies, it's not even from the original wound. So, yeah. You're not gonna die, okay?"

Jihyun almost had to laugh, grinning involuntarily and shaking his head. "You're really bad at this."

Kat gave a weak smile in return. "I know. Just try to relax. We'll get there. You'll be okay."

"But...what if I'm not?"

She looked at him firmly. "Then I'll follow you into the afterlife and smack you upside the head for leaving me here by myself."


	100. Eclipse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Punching myself in the throat] "I. WILL. FINISH. WHAT. I. START."   
> I'm back.

\---

Kat sighed deeply, running a hand through her hair as she began her fourth hour of waiting for Jihyun's surgery to conclude. She didn't want to think that maybe something had gone wrong, but the procedure seemed to be taking much longer than it should. Then again, Kat wasn't a doctor; how would she know how long this should take? Jihyun hadn't been bleeding _too_ much when they arrived. Truthfully, his injury could have been _way_ worse. Still, the true extent of the damage wouldn't be revealed until the surgery began, and there was always the risk of complications. Kat had tried not to read the ER doctors' faces too much when they'd arrived, lest she worry herself sick over something that potentially meant nothing. In the end, all she could really do was wait for the doctor to return with news.

  
"You look tired," Yuki commented, watching Kat's eyelids beginning to droop.

  
Kat gave a wry chuckle. "I _am_ tired."

  
"How long has it been since you slept?"

  
She leaned back in her chair, thinking for a moment. She hadn't gotten any rest since Jumin had called with the unfortunate news, right around the time she and Jihyun would have probably gone to sleep. "I think it's been at least thirty-six hours..."

  
Yuki's eyes grew wide. "You need sleep. Maybe try and nap a little while we're waiting."

  
Kat shook her head. "No, I want to make sure I'm awake when the doctor comes back."

  
As if completely on-cue, a doctor clad in navy blue scrubs entered the waiting area then, untying the printed cap he still wore. Every person in the vicinity looked up expectantly, hoping to receive news of their loved ones. "I'm looking for the friends and family of Kim Jihyun." Kat nearly rocketed out of her chair, along with the RFA members that accompanied her, and the doctor made his way over to the group. "We've finished the surgery, and I'm happy to report that the procedure went smoothly."

  
"Oh thank god." Kat rested a hand on her chest, exhaling deeply.

  
"The attack weapon didn't hit any major blood vessels, so Mr. Kim wasn't in very much danger in terms of blood loss. We've repaired all internal damage as well, but, as with any surgical procedure, there is still some risk of infection. Recovery from a major surgery like this will take some time, but if all goes well, I think we can expect him to make a full recovery."

  
"How soon will we be able to see him, do you think?" Kat asked, wringing her hands.

  
"He's being taken to his room now, so you can go whenever you like. However, he _is_ still unconscious, and it will likely take a while for him to wake up."

  
"You should go first," Jumin suggested. "We can see him later when he wakes up. Kat nodded, giving a shaky smile before turning to head for the elevator.

  
Upstairs, Kat easily located the correct room, hesitating just a little before stepping inside; she didn't know exactly how seeing Jihyun like this would affect her emotionally, especially on so little sleep. Inside, she couldn't help clasping a hand over her mouth, seeing him lying there, looking so broken. Heavy bags had settled in under his eyes- a side-effect of the anesthesia- and the plastic mask covering his mouth provided him with a steady flow of pure oxygen; he just looked so _tired_. Kat had to wonder how quickly he'd be able to recover from this state, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. This was simply awful. She didn't ever want to feel like this again. She didn't ever want to be apart from Jihyun like this again.

  
Slowly and quietly, she slipped over to stand at his side. Lips pursed, Kat leaned over to brush a few wisps of turquoise hair away from Jihyun's eyes. Her fingers trailed down the side of his face, its coloring dull and pallid. Having little energy to remain on her feet for more than a few minutes at a time, Kat dragged a nearby chair to the bedside, sinking into it with a heavy sound more appropriate for a woman twice her age. Careful not to disturb Jihyun's IV, she took one of his broad, sinewy hands in her own, clutching it desperately, as if to hold him here in the world with her.

  
"I'll be right here waiting when you wake, Darlin'."

  
\---

  
Saeyoung made his way over to Jumin as inconspicuously as he could, nudging him gently to get the older man's attention. "Can we talk for a moment?"

  
Gray eyes flicked upward to look at the redhead. Saeyoung seemed to be rather tense, his mouth set firmly into a single, thin line, a small wrinkle forming between his eyebrows. "Of course." Jumin rose from his chair, smoothing his clothing. Without a word, he started down the nearest hallway, motioning for Saeyoung to follow him to a more private setting. 

  
He had some idea what was on the younger man's mind right now. Jihyun wasn't the only one receiving surgery today. Saeyoung's twin would be operated on as well, to try and repair the damage he'd sustained to his hand. However, the delicate and complicated operation paled in comparison to the extensive treatment the younger twin would need afterward. It was pretty obvious that Rika had been drugging him, and he'd have to be detoxed immediately, a process that promised to be agonizingly painful. After that, he'd require psychiatric care. As of now, no one could predict the extent of Rika's damage on the young man's psyche.

  
As Jumin had guessed, Saeyoung _had_ been worrying about his brother; specifically, he felt concerned about what kind of legal retribution would stand in the way of Saeran's recovery. "Please don't have him arrested!" he implored as soon as he and Jumin were out of earshot.

  
Jumin sighed, running his hands through his hair. He _did_ sympathize with the twins' predicament, he really did, but... "I'm afraid it's not that simple. Your brother was involved in so many illegal activities... He threatened people with a gun... There are so many witnesses... I don't really know just how much I can help."

  
Saeyoung shook his head, his voice firm. "He wasn't in his right mind."

  
"I know...but it's still a complicated situation."

  
"Rika was _controlling_ him!" Saeyoung insisted. "She lied to him and forced him to take drugs so that she could make him do whatever she wanted! He shouldn't be held responsible when he didn't have control over _any_ of this." The younger man looked frustrated. "He needs _help_ , not punishment..."

  
"I agree with you," Jumin conceded.

  
"Can you at least...put things off for a while? It's already going to be so difficult for him."

  
Jumin sighed again, thinking. "I'll see what I can do. Everyone in that cabin was either a member of RFA, or in my employment. Maybe I can pull some strings and influence what kind of charges are handed down."

  
Saeyoung's shoulders slumped in relief. "Thank you, Jumin. Thank you so much. If there's anything I can do-"

  
"Just stop breaking into my home and harassing Elizabeth the Third." A hint of a smirk appeared on Jumin's face.

  
"I promise."

  
Saeyoung didn't bother to mention that he could simply bother Mina's cats instead.

  
\---  
The few hours that followed Jihyun's surgery crawled by at a snail's pace. Kat struggled to remain lucid, her head occasionally beginning to droop before snapping back up, startled. She was just beginning to drift away once more when the sound of rustling sheets brought her back to consciousness, Jihyun's subtle movement disturbing the stiff cotton. His eyelashes danced as he struggled to open his eyes, the lids almost too heavy at the moment.

  
"Jihyun?"

  
Kat received a pained groan in response, the pain of the injury returning along with his cognizance. Every movement seemingly a herculean feat, Jihyun tugged off the mask covering his face, his voice a hoarse whisper.

  
"Hurts..." he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

  
"Here." Kat pressed into his hand a small switch which connected to the IV drip. "The nurse said to push this button for morphine."

  
He clicked it a few times, relief crossing his face after a few moments. Jihyun closed his eyes, quiet for a little while, almost as if he'd gone back to sleep. However, he finally spoke, having given the medicine some time to work its magic. "I'm glad you're here."

  
"I'm glad you're alive."

  
"Yeah, me too." A wry grin cut across his face. "Have you been here this whole time?"

  
Kat frowned. "I was worried about you."

  
"I'm sorry I made you worry." Jihyun cast his gaze to the side, looking sheepish. "In retrospect, I guess you were right." His lover cocked her head, raising an eyebrow in question. "About not trusting Rika. I underestimated her. I didn't think...that she'd do something so... _extreme_." He furrowed his brow. "What happened to her, anyway?"

  
"She'll live," Kat shrugged, almost sounding regretful. "Last I heard, she's going to be charged with attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, kidnapping, reckless endangerment... The list goes on and on." She sighed. "The death penalty will probably be off the table, since she didn't _actually_ succeed in killing anyone. The best we can hope is that she'll rot in prison but we all _know_ that she's going to plead insanity..."

  
"You seem to know a lot about this."

  
"I watched a _lot_ of procedurals while we were staying with Jumin." Kat's expression changed then, growing serious. "Listen, Jihyun... I...had a lot of time to think while you were in surgery..."

  
Jihyun's stomach dropped. This couldn't be good. _You're going to try to run again, aren't you?_ "What is it? Is everything okay?" he asked her, face going pale.

  
She sat down on the bed facing him, tucking one leg underneath herself. She looked him in the face, her blue eyes intense. "I want you to move in with me."

  
"Wh-wha-?"

  
"I don't ever want to be separated from you any more than I have to." Kat's gaze softened, color blooming along her freckled cheeks. "I want you to be by my side always." She took Jihyun's hand, lacing their fingers together gently. "I love you, Jihyun."

  
Jihyun chewed his lip. "I want to do that, but...are you sure you're _ready_? I mean..." He searched for the appropriate words, knowing that he needed to tread lightly. "You do have a tendency to..."- his voice dropped to a careful whisper- "...run away when things get serious."

  
To his surprise, Kat let out a loud guffaw. "You scared I'll run from you?" She smirked.

  
"If you do, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth." He gave her a _very specific_ look, eyes flickering with passion.

  
She bit her lip, choking back an amorous sigh and shaking her head. "Lucky for you, I'm tired of running. Lord knows we've done enough of it." Kat squeezed Jihyun's hand. "I want to stay right here."

  
Leaning forward, she brushed a gentle kiss against his mouth, her voice barely a whisper. "After all, Rika wasn't the sun. _You are._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I JUST got back and all, but I may only update once during the next three weeks, since I'll be traveling and visiting family for the holidays and also my first wedding anniversary is coming up (YEET). After that I'll be updooting on a weekly basis.
> 
> ALSO ALSO I'm starting a new fic and I hope to release the first chapter this weekend. It's BNHA bc ya binch went and got herself a new fandom and a shiny new husbando (actually he's not shiny at all he's a lil ugly but he's a ugly lil SNACC) :3c


	101. Ugly Truths

\---

The first thing of which Saeran became aware was darkness; vast, inky darkness. It baffled him, as there seemed to be no explanation as to how he ended up in a place like this. The last thing he could remember-the last thing he could remember _clearly_ \- was the searing, burning, aching pain pulsing through his right hand, thick, hot blood streaming down his wrist and forearm, the chilling sound of his own voice howling in agony. _I must have passed out after that_ , he realized, along with the astonishing conclusion that he remained in darkness due to the fact that his eyes were shut. No wonder, too. They just felt so _heavy_. Still, Saeran managed to pry them open, vision initially too blurry for him to determine his present location. He'd need to get up and move around, make sure he'd been taken somewhere safe. If RFA had gotten their grubby paws on him... He leaned forward, but was immediately met with resistance at his forearms. As Saeran's vision cleared, he could see that some _fucker_ had tied him down, restraining him to this... _bed_. A hospital bed?

  
As he struggled, the pain in his hand began to return, subtle at first but intensifying to the point where Saeran could feel his skin tugging around the site of the injury, making him wince and grit his teeth. In the end, he couldn't even wiggle the tips of his fingers without a flash of excruciating pain coursing through his palm. Though, it wasn't as though he could move very much as it was; several thick layers of gauze, tape, and fabric bandages blanketed the appendage, barely letting his fingers and thumb peek out from underneath. Someone had clearly done their damndest to fix him up. _But who?_ Saeran had clearly been unconscious for a significant period of time. Who knew what else could have been done to him during that time? A wave of nausea passed over him, and he flopped down on his back, stretching out to try and relieve the discomfort, to no avail. Out of desperation, Saeran managed to lean over the side of the bed, coughing violently as he vomited onto the floor. Giving up what little he had in his stomach, not having had anything to eat for a couple of days, he dry-heaved for some time before collapsing back into his original position, completely exhausted.

  
"Savior?" he called out weakly, looking back toward the door over and over, hoping that She would come through it, and explain everything, reassuring him that everything was okay. "Are you here?" The blonde never did answer, much to his disappointment, and his heart sank. It couldn't be...that RFA had gotten to Her, right? _No..._ It was then that a faint memory returned, of the Savior writhing on the floor, a deep red stain blooming on the front of Her crisp, white robes. That was right...She'd been shot too... Saeran's stomach turned over again. He feared that he might throw up once more, but he resisted as much as he could, breathing deeply, and perhaps a little too rapidly. He quickly worked himself into a tizzy, heart monitor beeping erratically as he called out for his Savior again and again.

  
When the door finally flew open, it wasn't a golden-haired messiah that strode in, but rather a frazzled-looking nurse, who seemed annoyed to find that the patient's commotion was not, in fact, due to a life-threatening complication, but merely to his own unhappiness. "What's with all this ruckus?" she groused, going to check Saeran's vital signs. She eyed the puddle of vomit on the floor, then the still-racing monitor, then the arm restraints and the word "PSYCH" written on his chart in large characters, her demeanor softening slightly. "You must feel confused right now. Don't worry, you're going to be okay. Try to calm down now. The nurse pressed a switch connected to Saeran's IV. "There. That should help with the pain. For now, try to get some rest and-"

  
"Do you know where the Savior is?" Saeran knew that she most likely couldn't (or wouldn't) give him any information, but he was desperate.

  
"I'm sorry," the nurse shook her head, confusion apparent on her face. "I don't understand. Just...try to calm down. Doctor Jeong will come by later. Maybe he can clear some things up for you."

  
Saeran gestured to his restraints, growing tense. "Will you at least take these off? I need to find Her!"

  
"I'm sorry. Those are for your own safety-"

  
"Like hell! Let me go!" he lurched forward, baring his teeth.

  
"Sir, if you don't calm down, we'll have to sedate you for your own-"

  
"For my own fucking _safety_ , right? Fuck you!"

  
Miffed, the nurse said nothing, reaching for her pager. Within a few minutes, a couple of rather large orderlies barged into the room. Not making much effort to be gentle with the patient in their care, they reached for Saeran's shoulders. The two muscular, intimidating-looking men pressed him against the mattress, effectively immobilizing him. The more he struggled, the more roughly they gripped his arms. Saeran winced, wondering if he might find bruises later. "F-fuck!" Eventually he gave in, going limp as he realized that it was useless to fight them. The sooner he stopped struggling, the sooner it would be over. His mind shifted into the distance. _Anywhere but here..._ The things being done to you were always more tolerable when witnessed from a third-person perspective. Still, traveling outside his own mind couldn't help him escape the encroaching darkness as the nurse emptied a syringe into his IV.

  
\---

  
Saeyoung did feel a little bit guilty for briefly leaving his brother's side in order to go and get something to eat, but he'd gotten so shaky and lightheaded that Mina just wouldn't let it go until he fed himself. He could see Saeran's nurse coming out of the private room, presumably having just completed another vitals check, though it seemed like it hadn't been all that long since the last one. "Is everything okay?" he asked her, concern apparent in his gaze.

  
She sighed. "He did wake up-"

  
"How is he?!"

  
This habit of interrupting people was clearly a family trait. "His behavior was...manic. He seemed very anxious and kept asking for a...savior? We had to sedate him for the time being..."

  
The older twin didn't wait for her to finish before hurrying back into the room. Unconscious, Saeran looked more peaceful now than he had the last couple of times Saeyoung had seen him. Though, that wasn't exactly saying much. He'd been in such poor condition while in Rika's "care," and he still looked like hell, eyes deep-set and cheeks hollow, his skin tone dull. Saeyoung looked down at his brother's wrists, the flesh red and irritated from rubbing against the rough canvas straps. _It's probably fine..._ Without another thought he reached down to undo the buckles, freeing Saeran for a little while. Hesitant, as though his twin could wake at any time and punch him in the face, he reached for his brother's left hand, gently massaging the raw skin with his fingertips. Saeyoung couldn't help worrying; Saeran's health had been so neglected, both physical and mental. Of course the road to recovery would be long and exceedingly difficult, but now that it stared Saeyoung in the face, it suddenly seemed much more intimidating.

  
\---

  
Saeran's second time pulling himself out of sedation was notably easier than the first. Though, this time, he did find himself much more lethargic, less capable of fighting his restraints. Though, they did seem looser now than before. Had the nurse from before decided to take pity on him and remove them? Saeran's vision had not yet cleared enough to be sure, so he moved his arm with as much force as he could muster, disappointed to find that they remained, albeit at a more comfortable tightness. Still, that wasn't the greatest annoyance he would encounter as he regained full consciousness. He quickly became aware of the presence of another person in his room, a blur of red appearing in his field of vision. _It better not be!_

  
"Saeran?"

  
Saeran's posture stiffened. Yes, that was his name, but he hated the sound of it, especially on the tongue of that damned redhead. His lip curled into a sneer. " _You..._ " he growled in disgust. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

  
"I wanted to be here for you," Saeyoung explained. "You just had surgery and-"

  
"Since when do you care about what happens to me?" the younger twin sneered. "You were always so desperate to get rid of me before!" Of course, if Saeyoung had never left him, he never would have met his Savior, but it didn't make up for the fact that his older brother had just pawned him off on the first person willing to take him!

  
To Saeran's surprise, Saeyoung didn't try to make up any kind of lame excuse for what he'd done. "You're right. I should have taken care of you myself. I made the wrong decision and you paid the price for it. I'm sorry." To his credit, Saeyoung did seem genuinely remorseful... _But he should be sorry, damn it!_ "From now on, I want to be there for you."

  
"Oh, how _generous_ of you. What a convenient way for you to ease your conscience."

  
"It's not like that, Saeran!"

  
The younger twin flinched again at the sound of that name. "Fuck off! Just...fuck the fuck off."

  
Saeyoung's shoulders drooped in defeat. He looked so damn sad and pitiful, and it pissed Saeran off. How dare he have the nerve to feel sorry for _himself_ after dumping his own brother wherever he could and then just _disappearing_ like that?! Still, he seemed undeterred. "Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?"

  
"I want to see the Savior."

  
"Rika?"

  
"What have you done with Her? I'd rather see Her than you," Saeran spat.

  
As much as these words hurt, Saeyoung couldn't really blame his brother for choosing Rika. In his eyes, Rika had been there for him when his older brother hadn't, even if Rika's definition of "being there" wasn't exactly...ethical. Still, Saeyoung wasn't certain that it would be a good idea for them to see one another. Rika was a bad influence, and Saeran wasn't exactly the picture of mental stability. At the same time, Rika might be the only one Saeran would be willing to listen to. If there was any chance that she could get the younger twin to follow the doctor's instructions, Saeyoung would almost be willing to give it a shot. Unfortunately, he didn't think it would be wise to trust Rika to do anything that didn't directly further her own agenda. "I...don't think Rika cares for you as much as you believe she does."

  
"She cares about me a lot more than you do!"

  
"What do you think she would advise you to do right now? Do you think she'd consider what's best for you? Would she tell you to eat your dinner and take your medicine?" Saeyoung asked in desperation.

  
"I wouldn't dare presume what She'd say! I'll eat when She _says_ I need to eat! I'll take my medicine when _She_ says so!"

  
The older twin shook his head. "Saeran...You've got to stop letting her make all your decisions for you. You need to learn to care for yourself, to do what _you_ know is best!"

  
Something about the way Saeyoung worded this struck a nerve. He was right. Saeran really didn't have a clue how to make it on his own, and for a split-second, this realization disturbed him deeply. At least he'd never have to worry about that. His Savior would never leave him on his own! She'd come for him soon enough, and everything would be okay. He didn't need to say another word to that stupid redhead. He turned away, closing his eyes, content to wait in silence for Her return.

  
\---

  
Mina, of course, didn't think it wise to ask for Rika's help. "She simply can't be trusted!" she insisted. "Besides, why would she be willing to help us, anyway? She was arrested because of RFA. She _got shot_ because of RFA! If anything, I think she'd advise Saeran to avoid cooperating with us at all costs!"

  
"You're probably right," Saeyoung conceded, "but if there's _any_ chance that even just _seeing_ her, knowing that she's safe would calm him down, I'm almost willing to try."

  
Mina sighed, biting her lip. "If anything," she said finally, "go and talk to her first. Try and get an idea of her mental state. If we're lucky, they're force-feeding her anti-psychotics and she'll be a little more stable than before."

  
"I'll go and try to see her, and probably think about it some more before I decide anything."

  
Two armed security officers had been posted outside of Rika's hospital room, making Saeyoung doubtful of whether he'd actually be permitted inside. "Is she allowed to have visitors?" he asked tentatively.

  
One of the officers dug a piece of paper out of his pocket. "Only people who are on the list. Name please."

  
"Choi Saeyoung. It might also be listed as Choi Luciel."

  
The man nodded and waved Saeyoung through. "He's good."

  
Inside, Rika lay cocooned in blankets, her normally-bright blonde curls laying limp across her pillow. Her expression was blank as she stared up at the ceiling from her position in her hospital bed, held still with more restraints than had been used on Saeran. It seemed to take her a few minutes to realize that she had company, the potent cocktail of sedatives and aforementioned anti-psychotics slowing her rapid-fire neural processes.

  
"Rika?"

  
"What do you want?" Her voice was groggy and lifeless, its owner too drained to even pull an irritated face.

  
"Saeran isn't doing well," Saeyoung explained. "He's very anxious, and he doesn't want to cooperate with the doctors and nurses."

  
"Well, what did you expect?" Rika asked, never taking her eyes off the ceiling. "You're putting him in a situation where he's not happy."

  
"And he was more happy when he was with you?"

  
"Yes."

  
Saeyoung paused, nervous to ask that nagging question. "If I could get you in to see him, would you be willing to work with him? Get him to eat, and take his medication? You know I only want what's best for him."

  
"No."

  
"W-Why not? He trusts you!"

  
Rika shrugged, the gesture barely visible. "It doesn't matter," she sighed. "Nothing matters."

  
"I thought you cared about him!"

  
She lifted her shoulders again. "Not particularly. Not any more than any of my other followers, and you saw how much good they did me."

  
"You're heartless," Saeyoung breathed, his voice hoarse. "You promised that you would take care of Saeran, but you only ever cared about yourself!"

  
Rika struggled to sit up in bed as much as her restraints would allow, her gaze cold and dead as it washed over Saeyoung. "Honey I've got news for you. Caring about other people will only weigh you down. People can only hurt you. Everyone around me...always wanted to extinguish the darkness inside me, but...I needed that darkness! I started Mint Eye to let that darkness thrive. In the end, even my followers let me down."

  
"I don't believe that it's like that, Rika. People are good. People are kind. I'm sorry that you're just too much of a callous bitch to see it."

  
\---

  
"You again?" Saeran sneered as Saeyoung returned to his room.

  
"I went to see Rika." The older twin's expression looked almost nauseous, and Saeran felt victorious in some small way. His Savior must have talked some sense into that redhead. He should have known better than to go sticking his nose into things that weren't any of his business.

  
"Did you?"

  
"Yes..." Saeyoung's voice was nearly a whisper. "Saeran, I..."

  
"What?" The younger twin grew impatient. "Let me guess. You're not going to let me see Her, are you?" He rolled his eyes. _Fucking typical._

  
"She doesn't want to see you."

  
"I don't believe that."

 

Saeyoung shook his head. "I wish it wasn't the truth, believe me! I asked her if she would talk to you, but she refused! She said that it didn't matter..." his voice cracked. "...that she didn't _care_!"

  
"You're lying!" Saeran yelled back. "My Savior would never abandon me!"

  
"Saeran-"

  
"Shut up! You're keeping Her away from me! I _know_ She wants to see me!" A lump formed in the younger twin's throat, and he couldn't help the way his vision began to blur as tears beaded up on his eyelashes. _How pathetic._ "Don't lie to me, Saeyoung!" he whimpered.

  
"I'm not lying," his twin whispered. "Deep inside, you know I'm telling the truth, right? Why would I lie to you?"

  
Saeran made an annoyed sound.

  
"You know how strong-willed Rika is. You know she would have found a way to get a message to you, if she wanted."

  
"Just...go away." Saeran's voice was a rough murmur.

  
"I understand." Saeyoung didn't want to push the issue too far right now. If his brother wanted to be alone for a while, he could give him that much.

  
Once he'd been left alone, Saeran let the tears fall. He just felt so...helpless. It frustrated him, not being able to go anywhere or get any information for himself. He didn't _really_ believe in Saeyoung's lie, but he couldn't exactly go see his Savior and get the truth for himself. Of _course_ She'd never abandon him...right? Even after the small bout of emotion passed, he continued to shiver, despite the fact that it seemed to have gotten rather warm in the room. He seemingly couldn't stop sweating, and his stomach had begun to hurt. _Of course..._ It had been a long time since he'd been able to get his medication from the Savior. Saeran shivered again at the realization that he might not be able to get it again. The Savior had warned him about the withdrawal he'd experience if he didn't take it, about the all-over body aches, the nausea and migraines.

  
He suddenly felt very alone, without his Savior or anyone else to depend on. Of course Saeyoung _claimed_ to care for him, but that wasn't really the truth. If he really did care, he wouldn't have abandoned his brother in the first place. This was merely a passing whim. He'd grow bored after some time, and cast Saeran aside as before. That nagging voice echoed in his mind. _"...she would have found a way..."_ It couldn't be true... It just couldn't! The Savior _loved_ him, didn't She?! _But...what if She didn't?_ Saeran tried to put the thought out of his mind, but at the same time, he seemingly couldn't let go of the terrible possibility. As he lay in that bed, unable to do much more than think, he began to feel very much alone. At least it was better than being hurt by the ones he trusted.

  
_Right?_


	102. Shatter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter comes with a huge trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal behavior so I've included an indicator of where that stuff starts. There are three asterisks "***" right before the section with the triggering content so that you can avoid it if you need to or want to. It goes from the "***" to the end of the chapter. You won't need to read that section to know what's going on, as I will likely make a non-graphic reference to it in the next chapter. I will tell you right out that no one is going to die. I am not going to kill off a single character in this story.
> 
> If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideation, please do not hesitate to contact a suicide hotline. You are incredibly loved, and you are not alone.  
> National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-8255

\---

Saeran turned over onto his side, groaning in discomfort as he pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself as best he could without making his injured hand throb even more. Saeyoung had insisted that the hospital staff remove his brother's restraints while he went through detox, in hopes of not making the agonizing experience even worse than it already was. Still, the staff had concerns that Saeran might still be a danger to himself or to others, and had removed any and all potentially dangerous objects from the room, posting a security guard just outside lest he try to escape. _Not that I'd get very far..._ Saeran felt weak, feverish, sweating through his clothes even as he trembled incessantly, no number of blankets sufficient to keep him warm. Between that, a malnourished body that ached all over, and wave after wave of dizzying nausea, he couldn't even think of a plan to escape, much less summon the energy to go through with it.

  
In the rare moment that Saeran's symptoms let up, he could only feel confusion. Why was he being forced to go through this? The Savior had a small stash of Her signature elixir hidden away, and certainly She must still have ways of contacting the few surviving members of Mint Eye. It didn't make any sense that She wouldn't be able to find a way to get some of the potion to him. _Unless Saeyoung was right..._ , a silver-tongued voice in the back of Saeran's mind nagged. He didn't want to believe it, but if She really did care as she'd always seemed to, _surely_ She wouldn't force him to suffer in this way. The Savior acted as though She hated seeing Her believers in pain, but maybe that's all it was.

  
Maybe...She _had_ abandoned him after all... _No!_ That couldn't be it! On top of this, and everything else... _That would just be...too cruel._ If that was true, why hadn't she contacted him? Saeyoung had been right about one thing after all: when the Savior put Her mind to something, She always made it happen. If She hadn't gotten a message to Saeran by now, then only one hideous, depressing conclusion was to be made: She didn't _care_ to get a message to him. The more Saeran thought about it, the more a deep ache formed in the center of his chest, feeling hollow, as if any remaining positivity lingering inside him had been stolen away. The feeling spread upward into his throat, forming a painful lump. He tried to hold it all back, still not wanting to accept the reality that Rika had forsaken him, but deep down, he knew it was the truth; a terrible one, but a truth all the same. Saeran grit his teeth, not wanting to let the inclement tears fall, lest he seem like some pathetic child who had lost its mother. He was better than this!

  
It felt weird to suddenly have his worldview completely shattered. Rika didn't care about him, Mint Eye was built on a falsehood, down was up. At the same time, Saeran just couldn't flip-flop to trusting RFA, not after they'd spent so much time working directly against him. _But were they working against_ me _, or against Mint Eye, the organization that didn't really care about me in the first place?_ It was all too confusing. Saeran would need more time to hash this out. If Rika really had been the bad guy all along, it would indicate that RFA _actually_ wanted to help him, that they saw him as her victim, but something still seemed off. Even if they were on his side, he just couldn't trust them yet. He just couldn't. The fact still remained that Saeyoung had passed him off to someone who really didn't care about him the second his existence became inconvenient.

  
The older twin _did_ try, Saeran had to admit, visiting him several times each day even as Saeran became frustrated and pushed him away. Saeyoung was always attentive, constantly asking if there was anything he could do to make his brother comfortable, and then nagging the nursing staff until they conceded to whatever it was Saeran wanted. It was clear that he deeply regretted what he'd done before, and that he was desperate now to make things right. At the same time, the younger twin just couldn't let it go, couldn't forgive him, couldn't trust him. After all, if even Rika had abandoned him, what was stopping Saeyoung once he got bored, and frustrated. It was so much easier, so much _safer_ to keep him at arm's length.

  
_It's just me now, I guess._ The heavy feeling inside Saeran's chest returned. He didn't _want_ to be alone, but, then again, he didn't want to be hurt like this again, and if he were to trust another, that's exactly where he'd end up. He'd come to an impasse, it seemed, though loneliness was by far the lesser of the two evils. Still, it frightened him in addition to the sadness. How would he _possibly_ get by in the world all on his own? He'd never considered that it might one day be a necessity. A lump rose in his throat again. Saeran attempted to fight it, trying to generate anger out of his anguish, but in the end it overcame him once more.

  
\---

  
A couple of hours passed before Saeyoung returned from the hotel room he'd rented across the street from the hospital. He'd wanted to remain nearby, but he feared that just staying in Saeran's room all day every day would smother his younger brother. Saeran still didn't trust him, and Saeyoung thought it best to give him some space while they figured out how to relate to each other. Furthermore, the younger twin was just beginning the long road to recovery, and he needed time to himself to think, to remember who he was at his core. He'd already become less manic, but the painful symptoms of detoxing probably played at least some small role in that. He at least _tolerated_ Saeyoung for now, but still made it clear that he wasn't fond of his older brother. He did seem relieved to be free of the restraints he'd been put in when he arrived at the hospital. Saeyoung hoped that making him comfortable would be a starting point, and they'd be able to go from there.

  
His surgery complete, the staff had moved Saeran to the psych ward, as they still considered him risky, and enacted a strict care protocol. Any sharp objects taken into the room had to be removed as soon as they were no longer needed, and there was a burly security guard stationed outside at all times. They'd even limited the number of linens that could be allowed in Saeran's room at any given time. Arriving at the correct room, Saeyoung knocked lightly on the door, pushing it open a few inches. "Saeran?" Saeran didn't respond, laying down on his side, trembling, hoping that the older twin would think he was sleeping, and leave him alone for a while. Though he would most likely leave him alone if asked, Saeran couldn't do that, lest Saeyoung hear his voice crack embarrassingly.

  
Saeyoung made no such lucky assumption, stepping quietly over to the bedside to check on his brother. Saeran's eyes were squeezed shut, but his face was wet, shiny with tears, his eyes puffy and red. He continued to shiver, an occasional gasp making his thin frame jolt. "Saeran..." His voice was softer this time. A soft cry escaped the younger brother, who foolishly continued to feign sleep. Saeyoung grabbed a tissue from a nearby box and reached out to wipe his twin's face. As soon as he made contact with flesh, Saeran's eyes snapped open and he slapped the hand away. Saeyoung stumbled backward a few steps in surprise.

  
"Go away!" Saeran spat at him.

  
The older twin blinked. "I just..."

  
"You just _what_?"

  
"I just wanted to help..." Saeyoung mumbled.

  
"I don't need your help!" Saeran sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. "I don't need your pity!"

  
"Saeran, it's okay to be upset!" the elder brother insisted. "It's okay to cry..."

  
"Just go away!"

  
"Saeran..."

  
"Go!" Saeran howled, his voice hoarse.

  
Defeated, Saeyoung slowly walked out of the room, shoulders drooping in disappointment, closing the door behind him. _Fuck you_ , Saeran thought, rubbing at his eyes again, his sorrow melting away as he was finally able to replace it with fury. He couldn't believe that he'd allowed himself to be seen in such a state, and by _Saeyoung_ of all people. He felt mortified. Worse, Saeran's anger dissipated quickly, replaced by something else. Shame? No... More like, he actually felt kind of bad for how he'd treated the older twin. _He looked so hurt...but this is what I have to do if I don't want him to hurt me!_ Being aggressive comforted Saeran. He supposed that he didn't fit in well with people; everyone who came near him seemed to hurt him. His thorny exterior was his only defense against those who would come close.

  
\---

  
Saeran hissed at the sudden cramping of his stomach. It had been doing this off and on for a few hours, but now, the discomfort did not pass. "Fuck..." He sat up in bed, leaning over and pulling his knees up to his chest. As he did, a flash of blonde hair caught his eye as it moved past his room, just barely visible through the thin window on the door. His eyes widened. Had his Savior come for him after all? His knees weak, Saeran stood and stumbled toward the door, peeking out. Sure enough, the Savior was being pushed down the hallway in a wheelchair, presumably being moved to another room. Saeran flung the door open, poking his head out, the security guard looking his way in warning.

  
"Savior!" he called out to her hoarsely. She did not answer. Perhaps his voice had been too quiet. He tried again, pushing the volume of his voice to its limits, making it crack. "SAVIOR!"

  
Rika lifted her head, turning to look at him, and, for the first time since he'd been admitted to the hospital, Saeran felt a glimmer of hope. That hope was crushed into a million pieces when Rika merely sneered at him, and turned away again. He tried to go after her, but the security guard grabbed him by the arm, holding him back as he struggled, whimpering Rika's name as she disappeared around a corner.

  
The guard shepherded him back into his room, looking sympathetic, and Saeran complied, dumbfounded by what had just happened. He couldn't believe that Saeyoung had been right all along, that Rika truly _didn't_ care about him. He collapsed onto the bed, laying there limply. He really _was_ unwanted, a burden to everyone who perhaps did care about him. Maybe he should just disappear, he thought. _If I disappear, I won't bother anyone anymore. If I just disappear, I won't have to feel all this pain._

  
*******

  
As the hours passed, Saeran couldn't put the thought out of his mind. The more he meditated on it, the sweeter the idea of fading out of existence seemed. All his life, he'd only known suffering and sadness, and it never got any better. Twenty-two years of being alive, and the more things changed, the more they stayed exactly the same. In the end, Saeran came to a harrowing conclusion: he really did want to die, and practically no one would care if he did. Sure, Saeyoung would probably feel a little bit bad, but in the end, he'd be relieved that he didn't have to bear the burden anymore. _But how do I go about...dying?_ Saeran couldn't merely stop eating or drinking, slowly fading away from starvation or dehydration. The hospital would put him on a feeding tube if it became necessary. No, this would have to be an active choice, to damage his own body so severely that it could no longer function.

  
Saeran sat up, glancing around the room. Unfortunately, the psych ward had been diligent in designing the room in such a way to prevent this kind of thing. No running water, safety covers on all of the electrical outlets, steel bars on the single window... Finally something caught his attention. The last nurse to come in had forgotten to take her water bottle with her when she left- her _glass_ water bottle. Saeran grabbed it off the counter, examining it. The walls were thick, but if he could hit it against the edge of the windowsill just right... He switched on the television, turning the volume all the way up. Surely the sound of breaking glass would alert the security guard outside.

  
Gathering his strength, Saeran slammed the bottle against the sill with an awful bang that echoed off the walls. A chill ran down his spine as the vessel did not break, and he worried that he'd soon be caught. Desperate, he brought the glass down again and again, tears of frustration gathering from each unsuccessful attempt. Finally, he let out a primal cry as he gave it one last hit, the bottle exploding, shards of glass raining onto the floor. Saeran knelt down to examine the pieces, searching for the largest and sharpest. He found a suitable choice, just smaller than the palm of his hand and almost perfectly triangular. He sat down next to the bed, turning the shard over in his hand, considering the act, wincing as he accidentally nicked the tip of his finger on the razor edge.

  
He bit his lip, pressing one of the sharp tips to the underside of his wrist. Saeran dragged the glass from one side to the other, blood beading up along the line. It burned, though he'd just barely cut through the top layer of flesh. He repeated the act, more painful this time, and red began to drip down his arm. _Still not enough!_ Saeran sliced through one more time, gritting his teeth and hissing as he put as much force behind it as he could muster. Hot blood painted his arm, the flow somewhat slower than he'd expected. He couldn't do the same to his other wrist, as he couldn't use his right hand, but hopefully this would be enough; he _was_ bleeding rather steadily. It would take some time, but hopefully the non-stop flow would ensure success. He laid his head back, closing his eyes, waiting, wondering who would have the privilege of finding him. Eventually, Saeran began to feel lightheaded. _Not surprising._ He _had_ lost a decent amount of blood. He felt like laying down, but figured that staying upright as long as possible would expedite the process, limiting circulation to his brain. His heart pounded in his ears as his consciousness floated away.

  
\---

  
_It's been a while... Maybe I can try again._ Saeyoung worried that he'd folded too quickly before, that maybe he'd been indulging Saeran too much. How did he expect to get anywhere if he didn't ever try to push back at all? He pushed open the door to Saeran's room. "Saeran, I-" Saeyoung froze, his heart sinking and eyes widening. His twin brother sat slumped over on the floor in a pool of his own blood, a nasty gash torn open on his wrist. Saeyoung stumbled over, smashing his finger against the "nurse call" button before grabbing the wrist and examining it as he pressed two fingers to the side of Saeran's throat. Luckily, he managed to find a pulse, but the pieces of glass scattered across the floor made his head spin. Saeyoung laid him back against himself, elevating the injury and gently patting his brother's face. "Saeran, please wake up!"

  
"Mmm..." The younger brother stirred slightly, to his relief.

  
"Saeran, you're going to be okay, you hear me? Help is coming." He stroked Saeran's hair, voice wavering as he spoke. "Why would you do this to yourself?" He awkwardly rocked the younger twin back and forth, willing the medical staff to pick up the pace a little."

  
Finally a nurse arrived. "Yes, what can I-" she froze momentarily, horrified by the scene before her, before jumping into action, paging for help and helping Saeyoung lift the patient back into bed.

  
"He has a pulse," he informed her.

  
"Good. That's good. It's also fortunate that he cut across the wrist instead of down. If he'd done that..." She stopped herself, seeing the color drain from Saeyoung's face. "Well, try not to think about that."

  
"Do you think he'll be okay?"

  
"I think so. We'll certainly do everything we can."

  
Saeyoung was pushed aside as a doctor arrived, flanked by two other nurses, and eventually led out into the hallway to let them work. He slumped against the wall, clothes still stained with his brother's blood, holding his head in his hands. _Please God... He's the only brother I have... Please let him be okay._


	103. Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: There is a call-back to events that occurred in the last chapter. Please be advised that this chapter discusses self-harm and suicidal behavior.

\---

Saeran had survived his previous attempt to end his life, the single silver lining to the myriad dark clouds surrounding the troubled young man. Saeyoung kept a close eye on his younger brother even as he treated him with kid gloves, not quite sure how to address this sensitive subject with someone who didn't want him around in the first place. Saeran stayed quiet for the most part, spending the majority of each day sleeping, too unhappy to raise much of a fuss. He followed the doctor's instructions now, at the very least, taking the medications he was given and eating three meals each day, though his appetite remained lacking. Despite losing a lot of blood, he seemed to be recovering well enough, the nasty wound on his forearm beginning to scab over. Saeran's body was determined to heal, even if his mind remained hesitant to follow suit.

  
He didn't say much to Saeyoung these days, and it seemed as if maybe he didn't quite know what to say. He'd shed his prickly exterior, at least, no longer verbalizing his seething anger and hatred toward Saeyoung, but he hadn't exactly warmed up, either. Saeyoung worried that it was only a matter of time before the aggression returned, and they'd be right back where they were before. He wondered if Saeran knew that he'd been there, that _he'd_ been the one to discover the younger twin slumped over on the floor, blood pooling around him as it poured from the deep gasp in his arm. The memory kept Saeyoung awake at night. Even after Mina had suggested he try melatonin tablets, he still sometimes woke up in a cold sweat, terrified that something had happened to his brother.

  
Additionally, Saeran seemed to be at least _civil_ with the psychiatrist that had been coming in to see him. Saeyoung didn't know much about these meetings, what with doctor-patient confidentiality and all, but he'd been told that his brother hadn't been saying too much, though that didn't come as much of a surprise. After everything he'd been through, he didn't exactly have a surplus of trust to give. Saeyoung assumed that the doctor would try to get Saeran to talk about why he'd try to kill himself, but it really wasn't that big of a mystery. He'd been abandoned by the one person he trusted, his entire world turned upside down, and not for the first time in his life. It would take a lot of time before Saeran would be willing to open up to _anyone_.

  
Though he knew he shouldn't be wasting time feeling sorry for himself, Saeyoung couldn't help feeling distraught over the whole deal, not knowing what he could do to help his younger twin or even _if_ Saeran would accept his help. It made Saeyoung sick to think that he felt _so_ miserable and alone that death seemed the preferable option, that maybe his _own_ actions had led him to feel that way. He was desperate to turn things around now, if only so that Saeran would have at least _one_ person in his life that he could rely on; the person that was _supposed_ to be there all along. He hoped that it wasn't too late now, that maybe there was some way he could begin to mend his relationship with his brother.

  
\---

  
Saeran shifted in bed, giving a little huff of restlessness, lifting his right arm to gaze at the bandage that now reached halfway up his forearm. He felt disappointed, both in himself and in how things had ended up. On one hand, he cursed himself for not even being able to get _this_ right. On the other, he felt frustrated that he'd been found before the process could run its course. If only stupid Saeyoung hadn't burst into his room like that, maybe enough time could have passed. Instead, he was stuck here, on suicide watch, just watching and waiting as time crawled by. That one shrink came in every once in a while, trying to get him to talk about his _feelings_ , but he never forced Saeran to talk. Normally, Saeran would just ignore him, or mumble a few words of sarcasm, until the doctor had to move on to the next patient, but then he'd be back the next day, just as determined to make progress as he had been the day before. Unfortunately, this guy was a bit more immune to the young man's prickly exterior than most.

  
Though he would never want to talk about it with the shrink, Saeran still felt distressed about what had happened with Rika. Though he'd finally seen her for what she really was, his feelings remained complicated. Even though it had all been an act, Rika had been the closest thing to a real mother that he'd ever had. She'd been there when no one else was, even if her motivations were rooted in her own selfishness. As time passed, the anguish lessened slightly, as Saeran began to accept this new reality. Maybe the psych meds had something to do with it, but his own mental adaptation was the real culprit. Why should he be so hung up on someone who never really cared about him in the first place?

  
At the same time, a new sort of emptiness replaced the anguish, uncomfortable in its own unique way. If even _Rika_ didn't care about him, then he really, truly _was_ alone in this world. Solitude had its benefits- no one could hurt Saeran if they couldn't get close to him. At the same time, it had started to grow old. He didn't like the feeling. His own human nature had betrayed him; he needed to be cared for by another human being. He _craved_ it. He simply didn't know how he could amend this situation. He couldn't trust anyone, and as a result, he isolated himself, and the more isolated he became, the harder he found it to even _imagine_ trusting another person. It was a vicious cycle, and Saeran didn't see a way out.

  
At times he even felt tempted to give Saeyoung one more chance, though that prospect never lasted long. In the end, he always wound up more irritable than before, reminding himself how the older twin had betrayed him, handing him over to a woman who would abuse and manipulate him for her own purposes, as if he were a tool, rather than a human being. In some ways, he felt more anger toward Saeyoung than before, knowing that he'd been given to a sociopath, rather than a savior. No matter how kindly his brother treated him now, it couldn't make up for what he'd done back then. Trusting him to do the right thing now was simply impossible. Even if he could, Saeran knew that he'd only be a burden to Saeyoung anyway. Perhaps his mother had been right about one thing after all.

  
\---

  
Even if Saeran resisted, Saeyoung was determined to find a way to help his brother. Sure, he could help him financially; he'd already signed off on footing the growing hospital bill, but money was trivial. His blood money meant nothing to him. He could throw every cent he had at Saeran, and it wouldn't matter. Spending money was easy, and Saeyoung knew that he could do more than that. Maybe it was foolish to imagine, but what he really wanted was for things to go back to the way they had been before. Well, maybe not _exactly_ as they'd been. He wanted for Saeran to become independent; strong enough to stand on his own two feet. At the same time, he craved the closeness, the trust that they'd had before. He wanted be able to confide in Saeran, and Saeran in him, the way that only siblings could. _Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself..._

  
Saeyoung wondered if maybe, in some way, this clinical environment made Saeran uncomfortable, anxious, keeping him too on edge to begin the healing process. The younger man had never had a "home," not a _real_ home anyway. After making plans with Vanderwood to leave the agency, Saeyoung had started the process of moving out of the bunker, trying to find a more "normal" type of living situation. Maybe he'd jumped the gun a little, but he'd asked Mina to move in with him. After all, they'd already been living together. Since Vanderwood had found them a spacious three-bedroom, maybe _they_ could make a home for Saeran with them. The three of them could be a _family_ , and Saeran could stay in one of the other bedrooms- his _very own_ bedroom- for as long as he wanted. Saeyoung would at least make the offer, though he had a sneaking suspicion that this brother wouldn't spring for it, at least not right away.

  
As much as Saeyoung wanted to take his brother home right then, he knew the hospital wouldn't be willing to release him until he was no longer on suicide watch, and he'd stay on it until he finally cooperated with the psychiatrist and gave him reason to believe that he no longer wanted to hurt himself. Saeyoung sincerely doubted that that the doctor had gotten anywhere, not that he had much to go on in the first place. If Saeran was going to talk, it would take someone who knew how to push his buttons.

  
Saeyoung tapped lightly on the door to Saeran's room, slowly pushing it open a crack and poking his head in. "Saeran?"

  
The younger twin scoffed, rolling his eyes. "What is it now?"

  
"Is it okay if I come in and talk to you for a while?"

  
Saeran sighed heavily. "Sure. Why not? I'm feeling generous today."

  
Saeyoung grabbed this opportunity, pulling a chair over to his brother's bedside and sinking into it. "Why...did you do it?"

  
" _Tch._ You really don't beat around the bush, do you?"

  
"Saeran, I want to help you."

 

"Oh, _now_ you want to help me." Saeran threw his hands up in the air. "Awesome. Aren't you a saint?"

  
Saeyoung chewed his lip. "I know I was wrong to leave you with Rika. I know that now. If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't hesitate! Not for a minute!"

  
"Well, those are really pretty words, Saeyoung, but it doesn't change the fact that you _abandoned_ me!" The younger twin leaned forward, clenching his one good fist.

  
"I _never_ intended to... _abandon_ you! I sent you letters! You...got them...right?"

  
"I never got any damn letters..." Saeran furrowed his brow.

  
Saeyoung clenched his jaw, shaking his head."Rika must have hidden them."

  
"You're lying."

  
"Saeran, you _know_ Rika lied to you, manipulated you... It's not too much of a stretch to think that she'd try to keep us separated in order to get you to do what she wanted."

  
"No, no... I know that I can't trust anything that Rika ever did or said, but I still don't believe that you wrote letters in the first place. You didn't give a shit about me! I have to wonder if you _ever_ did!"

  
"Saeran...I _never_ stopped caring about you!"

  
" _STOP. LYING._ " Saeran scrambled out of bed and onto his feet, grabbing Saeyoung around the collar.

  
"I'm not-"

  
"Shut up!" His voice cracked. Saeran's face held an expression of anger, as was to be expected, but something else flickered in his eyes. He looked sad, and just so worn-down, twenty-two long years weighing on him heavily.

  
Saeyoung's voice softened, barely above a whisper. "Saeran..."

  
"SHUT UP!" Saeran tightened his grip on his twin's jacket, jostling him roughly. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! _SHUT UP!_ " He shoved Saeyoung backward, and the elder brother lost his balance, falling to the floor. Saeran dropped to his knees, leaning over him, malice dancing in his eyes. He wrapped his hands around his twin's throat and squeezed, though not tight enough to do any real damage; his right hand hadn't fully healed, after all. Still, Saeyoung gasped for air, clawing at his younger brother's hands, trying desperately to pry them away. It was no use. Despite the years of neglect he'd endured, Saeran was stronger than he looked. Saeyoung could feel the pressure building in his face, making his skin turn purplish. He'd known that his twin was angry with him, but he'd never thought that things would go _this far_.

  
"S-Sae-" Saeyoung gasped. Saeran maintained his tight grip, though his hands had begun to tremble. Saeyoung looked up, gazing into his twin's eyes, examining the strong emotions that lay behind them. Little by little, his younger brother's face twisted up, his jaw clenching, the sinews in his neck going taut. _You don't want this..._ Saeran wanted to stop, but he couldn't afford to look weak. He didn't _truly_ hate Saeyoung. Saeyoung gathered what little breath he could, placing one hand on top of his brother's, not to try and pull it off, but rather to reassure him. " _You don't want to do this_ ," he rasped. Saeran sniffed, shuddering. " _You don't have to._ "

  
With a gasping cry, Saeran finally moved his hands away, and Saeyoung inhaled deeply, coughing and rubbing at his sore neck. Saeran sat back on his heels, arms falling limply to his side. He whimpered loudly once more, trembling as tears began streaming down his cheeks. "I'm sorry..." he whispered, rubbing at his eyes.

  
Finally getting his breath, Saeyoung sat up straight. "It's okay..." He leaned toward Saeran, who reached for him with both arms, clutching onto his older brother tightly as he began to truly weep, finally releasing all of the agony he'd repressed for so long. "It's okay."

  
"I'm s-so sorry..."

  
"I'm sorry too." Saeyoung laid a hand on the back of Saeran's head, tightening his embrace briefly, only making him cry louder. "I promise that I _never_ forgot about you. I _never_ stopped missing you."

  
"I missed you too," Saeran whispered, his voice hoarse.

  
"I promise I will _never_ abandon you again. I know you probably don't believe me. I know you don't trust me." Saeyoung swallowed hard. "But I want to do what I can for you now. Even if you hate me, I still love you. I will _always_ love you." His voice cracked. "You're my brother."

  
"I-I wish things c-could be like they were before. I don't want to be s-sad anymore. I don't want to be lonely anymore!"

  
"I don't want you to be unhappy either. I want you to come home. I want us to be a family again. But I can't blame you of being distrustful of me. I betrayed that trust before."

  
Saeran took a moment to compose himself, calming his voice and wiping his face. "Maybe we can work on fixing things. Maybe for now, I can trust you halfway."

  
Saeyoung clutched his twin brother tight, allowing a few tears of his own to fall. "I'm so happy to have you back."

  
For the first time in nearly a decade, Saeran felt like maybe everything would be okay, like he was finally safe. "I'm happy too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep up with me on tumblr: dumpster-owl.tumblr.com


	104. Ink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of garbage-quality; my b.

_Two Months Later_

 

It continued to surprise Saeran how quickly he'd been able to adjust to this new life, but after the other kinds of situations he'd had to get used to, he supposed it wasn't too strange. It was weird; this was the kind of life he'd always dreamed of as a child, but now, after years of building resentment toward Saeyoung, it just felt so surreal. He was doing all right now, considering, making progress at a surprising rate. His therapist believed that it was partially due to the support he received at home, and to his own desire to change. He hadn't arrived at a diagnosis yet, but he had theories- post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression... Saeran still reacted to certain triggers in ways he couldn't control. He didn't like to be touched...sometimes he woke up in a cold sweat from nightmares, memories of his time at Mint Eye. Despite his frustration, his nervousness, he'd begun to feel more even-keeled now, even going out in public from time to time, to get an ice cream cone with Saeyoung, or to accompany Mina on a quick run to the pharmacy to pick up toothpaste.

  
His relationship with his brother remained somewhat shaky for now, but it seemed to be solidifying slowly. Saeyoung hadn't broken his promise; not yet anyway. The more time passed, the more Saeran wanted to believe that he _wouldn't_ break it. Still, he remained wary for now. It had only been two months since he'd come to live here, after all. So far, Saeyoung had been better than his promise, pushing Saeran to get better, but never past his limits, never forcing him into situations where he'd be _too_ uncomfortable. He made sure Saeran got to all of his doctor's appointments, that he remembered to take his medications, that he had more food options than Ph.D. Pepper and Honey Buddha Chips (though Mr. Vanderwood really deserved the credit for the last one).

  
Of course, having Saeyoung back in his life meant forming a relationship with his girlfriend, Mina, too. Mina was utterly unlike anyone Saeran had ever met in his life- warm, bright, optimistic. She could be a little...overwhelming at times, always trying to feed him, going on about how Saeran needed to get more meat on his bones, but she meant well. The twin brothers had both seen so much sadness in their lives, but Mina was different. She was a rock for both of them during this time of uncertainty, her calm, serene demeanor neutralizing a situation that had the potential to go south with one unfortunate comment. The funny thing was, it had seemed as though Saeyoung had been nervous in the beginning that Mina would be too... _much_ for Saeran's mental state. Really, it was just the opposite. Though eccentric, she was caring, and genuine. Saeran found that endearing.

  
His therapist warned him not to try and force his recovery to go faster, lest he put himself into situations for which he wasn't quite ready, as this could put him, or even others, at risk. All the same, Saeran felt (tentatively) hopeful about the future. He didn't feel ready to move out on his own, or even get a job yet, and that was okay. Every bit of progress he made felt good, even if it had been difficult to achieve. Right now, the shrink had him working on understanding his own thought patterns, helping him "re-train" his brain to function in a healthier manner, and recognizing and noting his triggers, things that might cause a sudden mood swing, or even a flashback. It had happened only once so far, when Saeran had been out, helping Mina with some shopping. He'd seen a crystal perfume bottle filled with blue liquid; it had looked _exactly_ like Rika's "elixir." As soon as she saw him clutching at his chest, hyperventilating, his eyes wide, Mina had pulled him around a corner to where it was more private, helping him to sit and holding his hand while the episode passed.

  
Saeran worried that he might experience a reaction even worse than that. He had vague memories of other "personas" he had adopted while at Mint Eye. There was "Ray;" he was a good boy on whom Rika doted. He acted soft and sweet, but he was embarrassingly clingy and prone to fits of anger when provoked. Then, there was "Bad Saeran," comprised of all his hurtful, cruel impulses. He did as he pleased without regard for others. Saeran worried that if something triggered him sufficiently, one of these two might rear his ugly head. Saeyoung or Mina would probably know what was happening, how to handle it, and they wouldn't hold it against him, but if it happened with someone else... Saeran shuddered to think what might happen.

  
\---

  
Mina passed a plate to Saeran, laden with spaghetti and homemade meatballs. She was the very first hacker he'd ever known who knew how to eat like a normal person; even though she got all of her recipes from "Yummy" videos on Facepage, he had to concede that she was actually a pretty good cook. She insisted that they eat dinner together as many nights as possible, and neither twin complained. It was a family experience that neither of them had ever had before, and it was nice. Saeyoung had even gone out and bought a set of dishes (they were melamine, and decorated to look like the planets of the solar system, but still).

  
Saeyoung poked at the pile of food on his plate, rolling meatballs around with his fork. "So, uh...me and Yoosung were talking, right?" He seemed tentative, as if he were about to ask for something, but felt guilty about it.

  
"Yeah, what's up?" Saeran actually hoped that Saeyoung _would_ ask for something. He'd honestly gotten a little bit tired of being handled so gingerly.

  
"Well, we were talking about having like, a game night-sort-of-thing."

  
"What's that?"

  
Saeyoung looked dumbfounded, but quickly realized that this was yet another thing Saeran had missed out on during his years locked away from the rest of the world. "Oh! Well, a group of friends gets together, and they play different types of games- board games, card games, even video games sometimes."

  
Saeran felt a bit uneasy at the word "game." He'd been subjected to lots of "games" at Mint Eye, and none of them were anything one might do for _fun_. He tried to re-route his thoughts, however. Saeyoung wasn't talking about _those_ kinds of games. He'd been talking to that Yoosung kid, right? Saeran knew that the kinds of games he liked to play were harmless enough. "So, this is something people do for fun, right?"

  
"That's right. Do...you think you'd be okay with guests coming here? It would be like, five people at maximum."

  
"I think so." Saeran still felt a _little_ hesitant. Since coming here he still had yet to spend an extensive amount of time around people other than Saeyoung and Mina. He'd at least _met_ their RFA friends, and they were all aware of his situation, understood how he needed to be treated. Still, he needed to try and get used to being around people. Besides, if he ended up getting too anxious, or overstimulated at this get-together, he could always retire to his bedroom, put on a relaxation tape. "Yeah, okay."

  
\---

  
Saturday night arrived, and Saeran lingered in the kitchen, trying to act casual while still remaining on the edge of all the excitement. Saeyoung's friends weren't quite as bizarre as he'd expected. There was Tom, strikingly normal despite having known the redhead for all these years. Of course, Yoosung was here too, excitable as ever. He'd been trying to make sure Saeran felt as included as possible, in spite of how he'd injured the blond. Perhaps he was a little _too_ understanding; when Saeran had apologized before for hurting him, Yoosung had waved it off so casually, as if the whole thing had been an accident. Of course, he had a girlfriend now, so... Saeran shrugged. She was here too, much more laid back, but doting as all hell. They were _that_ kind of couple, always holding hands and sneaking kisses when they thought no one was looking. _Good for them, I guess._ A couple of their friends had come along, too- a quiet, polite woman they called "Momo" and a messy, artistic-looking man named Won-Jae. Saeran knew very little about them, as he hadn't been instructed by Rika to investigate them the same way he had Chae-Young, but they seemed nice enough.

  
They were all laughing incessantly at the game they were playing now, some sort of card game. They'd all draw cards, stifling their giggles as they did, and then every little while they'd fall into peals of laughter; it seemed somewhat ridiculous, really. Saeran couldn't understand what could be _so funny_ about some card game. He hadn't really been participating in the festivities so far, suddenly shy when people had started to arrive. He looked around the corner at them, all smiles and Chae-Young beaming with pride at her substantial stack of "won" cards. They _did_ look like they were having fun...

  
"Can I play too?"

  
Saeyoung grinned wide, as if he'd been waiting all evening for this moment. "Of course!" He jumped up to grab a chair and pull it to the table. "We'll start over so you can catch up."

  
"Ah- Don't worry about that... I just want to play." Saeran sank into the chair. "Erm...how does this game work?"

  
"Okay, so take ten of those white cards and hold them in your hand. Don't show them to anybody. We each take turns going around the table and choosing a black card. That person will read it out loud, and each of the others will put a white card in that they think answers the prompt the best. Then, the person with the black card will choose whichever answer they like best. If your answer gets chosen, you get the point."

  
Saeran looked down at his hand. _"Jerking off into a pool of children's tears." Jesus Christ._ Was stuff like this supposed to be funny? _Is this what people call "dark humor?"_

  
Yoosung drew a black card and read it. "MILLY BAYS HERE FOR BLANK."

  
"'For blank?' What does that mean?"

  
"Fill in the blank," Mina explained.

  
Furrowing his brow and cocking his head to the side, Saeran looked down at his cards again, studying them. This was still very confusing to him. He picked a card at random and placed it face down in a small pile with the others.

  
Yoosung shuffled the cards before looking at them. "MILLY BAYS HERE FOR BRO-GURT." This card earned a few chuckles, but nothing to write home about. "MILLY BAYS HERE FOR A COP WHO IS ALSO A DOG. Ha, I like that one. MILLY BAYS HERE FOR THE FEMALE ORGASM. Meh. MILLY BAYS HERE FOR POWERFUL THIGHS."

  
"Throwaway," Won-Jae remarked.

  
"MILLY BAYS HERE FOR NIPPLE BLADES." That earned a brief stint of laughter, though it was more at how Yoosung had said the words "Nipple Blades" than anything. "And finally...MILLY BAYS HERE FOR AGRICULTURE! What?!" There was a moment of silence as everyone took a second to process the bizarre card combination before dying laughing. Saeran looked around, confused as why exactly everyone found his spontaneous answer so damn hilarious. Saeyoung smacked his hand on the table while Mina let out an ungodly screech.

  
Mr. Vanderwood looked equally confused as he let himself inside with a couple of paper bags. Saeyoung had invited him to game night as well, though Vanderwood didn't _exactly_ seem like a game night-kind-of-guy. Still he'd joined them, if only to find amusement in their shenanigans. He'd brought dessert, too, if the carton of ice cream peeking out of the top of one bag was any indication.  
Saeran smiled, nodding a greeting, and Saeyoung looked up to see his ex-handler-now-just-friend arriving. He grinned wide. "MY OLD FRIEND, MARY VANDERWOOD!"

  
Vanderwood scoffed, rolling his eyes a little, but grinned nonetheless, amused by Saeyoung's antics now that they didn't pose a threat to their safety and job security. "I brought dessert- ice cream and sundae toppings." It often seemed as though he was keen to make up for his and Saeran's run-in before, at Mint Eye, bringing the younger twin's favorite treat to an event where he was sure to be a little anxious. "I'll put everything in the kitchen."

  
Won-Jae raised an eyebrow as he took a look at the new arrival. "I'll give you a hand."

  
Momo shook her head, muttering under her breath and smiling as he jumped up eagerly. "So thirsty..."

  
She turned in her chair to supervise her friend, pulling a hair tie off of her wrist and gathering her long black hair into her hands, forming a ponytail. As she did so, she revealed a black-and-grey tattoo on the back of her neck. Saeran's eyes widened as he saw it. She bore the image of an eye on the top bump of her spine, not so different from his own ocular marking. He'd been covering his arms these past two months, not only because he didn't want others to see his tattoo, but also because he didn't like looking at it himself. He'd gotten it while under Rika's control; it only served to remind him of that traumatic time in his life.

  
He had to wonder about Momo's tattoo. It couldn't possibly be that she had some connection to Mint Eye. No...of course not. Her marking was too realistic, and didn't feature any of the cult's other imagery. It had to be something else. Saeran wanted to ask her about it, but he'd only just met Momo. It seemed like it would be a bit weird to ask about it now. Still, it stayed on his mind all evening, throughout all of the other games the group ended up playing. Saeran tried not to stare, but the tattoo fascinated him, and it was a pretty piece.

  
Maybe someday he'd be able to ask her...


	105. New Friends

The stoneware clay made a crude slapping sound as Momoka dropped it onto the work table, repeating the process of slamming the cylindrical "pug" onto the hard surface over and over as the material slowly assumed a shorter, wider shape. She flattened the clay with her hands a bit, then began to expertly throw the disk onto the table such that it stretched a little each time she dropped it, forming a pancake-like slab. Satisfied with its thickness, Momoka dipped her metal rib tool into a bucket of water to wet it before running it over the slab, smoothing the clay's texture. She dropped onto a nearby stool to wait, giving the material some time to dry a bit before she would cut it into neat rectangular pieces.

Momoka leaned forward to rest her head on the table, hoping that she wasn't breathing in clay dust. The stuff was full of silica, after all. At the same time, she felt very tired, and welcomed a few short minutes of rest. She'd stayed out _way_ too late the night before, having fun playing games with her friends, both old and new. A second game night had been hosted in as many weeks, at Won-Jae's house this time. Everyone from their B &B group had joined in this time, along with Yoosung's friends Saeyoung and Mina, and Saeyoung's brother Saeran. Momoka still didn't know them all that well, but they were nice enough. Everyone _did_ have a lot of fun every time this group got together; even Saeran, who seemed a little more quiet and reserved than his boisterous twin brother.

Saeran had been a little more social last night than he had the first time. He'd seemed so nervous the first time. Momoka didn't know the details, she did get the impression that he'd been through some stuff recently, that maybe social situations were difficult for him. She herself was in no place to judge, of course, not that she would anyway. Everybody had their stuff, and she was no exception. She was glad to see Saeran beginning to come out of his shell a little. They'd had a brief, but nice conversation the night before. He'd asked her about the handmade ceramic bangle bracelet that she was wearing, and she'd explained that she'd made it herself, that she was a ceramic artist. Saeran had been curious to know more, and Momoka had to force herself not to ramble all evening about the finer points of porcelain firing.

She knew it was none of her business, but she still felt curious about Saeran's background. He had the nervous, slightly-socially-awkward demeanor of someone who hadn't been integrated into society like most people. At the same time, this brother Saeyoung didn't seem to have any issues with socialization, which led her to believe that something had happened during Saeran's formative years that had affected him deeply. Momoka figured she would probably find out eventually, especially if they all kept spending time together like this.

Trying to put it out of her mind for now, she reached over and ran her fingers over the clay, finding that it had stiffened to her liking. Momoka dug through her bag for the cardboard patterns she'd made before, laying them on top of the slab and carefully cutting through it with a clay knife. She paused for a moment, popping her earbuds in to keep herself entertained as she worked. She had a long day in the studio ahead of her.

\---

Saeran had grown bored of remaining cooped up in the apartment he shared with Saeyoung and Mina. Of course he still wasn't quite prepared for the challenges of appearing in public on a regular basis, but he was losing his mind having to stay here all day, every day, only ever leaving for brief periods of time, and always with an escort. Maybe it was time he ventured out on his own for a while. He'd need to make a clear plan of what it was he wanted to do, directions for getting to and from his chosen destination, and an idea of what he would do if he became too anxious, and needed to go home as quickly as possible. _I should probably leave a note too_ , he thought. _Saeyoung will freak if I just disappear on him all of a sudden._

Where would he want to go, though? That question remained. There was a good ice cream shop close by, where Saeyoung had taken him before. _But we have ice cream here already! That would be a waste of money..._ A bookstore would be a nice, quiet option. Saeran could even look for therapy workbooks to complete on his own time outside his professional sessions. Then again... What he really wanted to do was talk to Momoka again, to continue their conversation from the night before. When he'd asked her about her bracelet, she'd come alive, gushing about her ceramic work. It was nice to talk to someone who didn't really know anything about his past, who treated him like a "normal" person, and talked to him about anything other than what he'd been through, or his struggle to recover.

He still felt curious about her tattoo, as well.

Momoka had mentioned before that she was a student at Daesun University, right? Saeran sat down at the desk in his bedroom, opening the internet browser on his computer. He navigated to the university's website and searched for information about their art programs. He easily found the location of the sculpture and ceramics building, jotting down the address on a notepad. It wasn't _too_ far away, really. Saeran could theoretically walk there, but worried that he might get lost, or that it would be dangerous to try and come home later in the evening, should they end up talking for a long time. Taking a train was absolutely out of the question; too many people, too much noise. Saeran looked up a car service, checking their rates.

He hoped it wouldn't be too strange to show up at her school, but he already had a plan to make it seem more casual. He'd have the driver drop him off a couple of blocks away, and then say that he'd been in the neighborhood, that he thought it might be nice to drop by and say hello. _Coming up with a plan to make it not seem weird makes it even weirder, though, doesn't it?_ Was it really so bad to want to make a friend, though? Maybe his way of going about it was a bit socially awkward, but Saeran's intentions were pure. He was interested in Momoka's work, interested in being friends with her. Saeran thought it was cool that she could make such beautiful things from the earth's raw materials.

\---

As he pulled open the heavy door to Daesun's ceramics building, Saeran started to rethink his decision to come here. Would Momoka be too weirded-out by him suddenly showing up like this? He didn't want to risk pushing her away so soon. Maybe he should just go home and wait until the next game night. Despite this thought, he found himself continually moving forward, following the signs on the walls that directed him toward the large main studio. He didn't necessarily _want_ to go home. If Momoka was here, Saeran wanted to see her.

He came around the corner into a large, open, brightly-lit space filled with tables and some kind of wheel machines. In the far corner, he could see Momoka seated at a table, silver-dyed fringe falling into her face while she worked, headphones in her ears. She looked up as she sensed another presence in the room, smiling when she saw that it was Saeran and putting away her earbuds before she waved him over. "Hi! What are you doing here?" The question might have seemed accusatory, but her tone was more of surprise than anything.

Saeran gave a nervous smile back, but immediately felt more relaxed when Momoka seemed pleased by his arrival. "I was in the area, and I remembered that you were a student here, so I wanted to come by and say hello. I hope it's not too inconvenient."

"Not at all. I'm working on a project right now, but you're welcome to stay and talk. In fact, I welcome the company." Momoka grinned wide. "It makes the time pass faster." She selected a flat wooden tool and dampened it in her bucket of water, using it to smooth the joint she had fashioned between two pieces of clay.

"What are you working on?" Saeran pulled up a stool to watch her process closely.

"I'm making a slab box."

"A slab box? Sorry, I don't really know much of anything about this."

"Oh, well, basically it's a box made from pieces of flattened out clay. When you make it flat like that..." She pointed to the clay leftover from cutting out her pieces. "...it's called making a slab."

"I see. That's really neat!" Saeran leaned forward, mesmerized by the skilled movements of Momoka's hands.

"You really think so?" She seemed thrilled to find someone interested in her work.

"I really do. It's cool that you can make stuff with your hands like that. It's probably really difficult, but you make it look easy."

Momoka shrugged. "It's not really that it's all that difficult. It just takes a long time to get good at at." She turned away for a moment to reach into her bag to search for a tool, exposing her eye tattoo again.

"Can I ask you something?"

She turned back, tilting her head. "What is it?"

Saeran bit his lip, worried that his question might be too personal. "The tattoo on the back of your neck; what does it mean to you?"

Momoka touched her fingertips to the ink. "My tattoo?" Color rose in her face, suddenly shy. "Well, I represents, like, enlightenment...the search for truth and understanding."

"So it's a spiritual thing?" Saeran felt a little concerned.

"Yeah."

"You're not...affiliated with a group called 'Mint Eye,' are you?" He shifted his gaze back to the project on the table.

Momoka's eyes went wide. "You mean that cult that was on the news a while back? Oh no! It's nothing like that."

Saeran laughed nervously. "That's good. I was worried for a minute."

"No, no... I'm interested in the older, earth-oriented religions. It's the kind of thing where each person has to find their own path, determine for themselves the right way to live." She resumed her work.

"Do you mind if I ask you about your 'right way to live?'"

Momoka sat for a minute, thinking. "I think...the best way to live is to find the thing that brings you joy, and to be good to others, to live and let live without hurting other people. It all comes down to kindness, I think; being kind to others, and being kind to yourself."

She dropped her tool back into the water bucket, stretching her arms way above her head and yawning. "This needs to sit and dry for a while before I can start carving the details into it. You wanna go get something to eat? I know this great diner just a couple of blocks away. They make these _awesome_ milkshakes."

"I don't think I've ever had a milkshake before. It has ice cream in it, right?"

"Yeah! The ice cream is made in-house, and it's sooo good! I can't believe you've never had a milkshake! You've gotta try it." Momoka looked so excited. This was a nice feeling.

Saeran smiled. "I can't wait!"


	106. Atypical

The sun had already begun to set behind the horizon when Saeran’s hired car pulled up outside his apartment building. He’d stayed a little longer talking with Momoka- or Momo, as she preferred to be called- than he originally intended, but he didn’t regret his choices today. Saeran had had fun on his outing, successfully making it there and back in one piece, and without any kind of mental distress. Normally, when he went out, he’d at least feel a  _ little  _ bit anxious- large, busy crowds of people overstimulated him to the point of nervousness- but today, it hadn’t bothered him so much. Even when an excitable child had come running around the corner and crashed right into him, Saeran kept his cool, making sure the kid was okay before sending him back to his concerned (and very apologetic) mother. 

 

He and Momo had continued their conversation from before, drifting between their various interests. Saeran had tried to relay some of his programming knowledge to her, and despite the fact that it all very clearly went over her head, she’d listened intently, happy to have her new friend share his efforts with her. 

 

Saeyoung met him at the door as he arrived home, bearing the enthusiasm of a proud parent. He wanted to know how Saeran’s outing had gone, of course; where did he go? What did he do? Saeran had been rather vague in his note, only stating that he was going out on his own for a little while, that he intended to be home before  _ too  _ late, and that he would call if he needed anything. “Did everything go okay? Were you nervous? Did anything happen? You didn’t ever call, so I assumed you were all right…” The elder brother smiled expectantly.

 

Saeran hung his jacket on the coat rack, sticking his hands into his pockets. “Yeah. Actually, it went better than I expected. I was kind of nervous at first, but I ended up being fine.”

 

“That’s great! I’m so proud of you!” Saeyoung grinned wide. 

 

The younger twin laid his hand on the back of his head, averting his gaze in an embarrassed sort of way. “It’s not really that big of a deal.”

 

“Yes, it is. You’re making progress, and it should be acknowledged and celebrated.” Saeyoung squeezed his brother’s shoulder proudly. “So what did you end up doing while you were out?”

 

“I uh…” Saeran wondered what his brother would think of what he had done. “I went to visit Momo, actually.”

 

“You went to Daesun?”

 

“Yeah. I took a car service,” Saeran explained. “I wanted to talk to her some more. It was fun. We went to a diner and ate; I had a milkshake. Have you ever had a milkshake before?” He suddenly realized that he was talking rather fast. “Anyway everything went fine; no need to worry.”

 

“I know.” Saeyoung did worry though. Had Momoka invited Saeran to hang out? That didn’t seem likely. She didn’t have his phone number- at least not to Saeyoung’s knowledge. Had he just decided to go over there to try and find her? The whole thing struck him as a bit odd. “So did she invite you over, or…?” He did his best to keep the discussion casual.

 

“Well...no…” Saeran shifted uncomfortably, concerned by where Saeyoung was going with this. “I just dropped by the ceramics building to see if she was there, and she was. It’s not like I went to her house or anything.”

 

“Do you like her?”

 

“Of course I like her. You don’t spend time with people you don’t like.”  _ What kind of dumb question was that?  _

 

Saeyoung shook his head. “No, I meant like...are you  _ attracted  _ to her?”

 

Saeran turned red, embarrassed by the query. “What? No! I just want to be her friend. She’s nice! And she doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile, or sick! Do you understand how refreshing that is after months of  _ only  _ talking about trauma and recovery?”

 

The older twin got quiet. He knew Saeran was right. He did need to make new friends, that treated him “normally.” “I’m sorry; you’re right. I see what you’re saying.”

 

“Sorry I got so defensive.”

 

“I’m glad you had fun together, and I’m proud of you for trying to make friends.” Saeyoung offered a smile, despite the fact that for some reason, he still felt uneasy about this situation.

 

\---

 

He was still brooding over it the next day when Vanderwood showed up to check in on things. He wasn’t so much a housekeeper to Saeyoung anymore as he was a trusted friend, now that Mina was here to grocery shop and cook and get both the twins more involved in the regular housework. Still, Vanderwood worried about those twins; they’d been through so much, and had undergone quite a few changes in a very brief amount of time. He almost felt that he needed to play the role of a third, older brother, to offer his help and advice as needed, and to make sure they didn’t get themselves into  _ too  _ much trouble. They  _ were  _ rather talented at that, after all. 

 

Saeyoung sat at the table just outside the kitchen, staring into his can of Ph.D Pepper as if it were a stiff drink, brow furrowed and brooding. Something had him in some kind of mood, but little else was apparent to the agent. Saeyoung always  _ did  _ have a way of cloaking his emotions. It had been useful as an agent, but it would do him little good now.

 

“Is something bothering you?” Vanderwood asked, no nonsense as usual.

 

“I’m just thinking.” The younger man removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes; he hadn’t slept all that well the night before, thinking through all of this, replaying his conversation with Saeran over and over in his head.

 

“Do you want to bounce it off me? Get another perspective?”

 

“Well, do you remember last week when you came over for game night? You remember a girl who was here named Momoka?”

 

Vanderwood raised an eyebrow. “Kind of.”

 

“Saeran went and hung out with her yesterday.”

 

“So he made a new friend… I don’t think I understand.” Vanderwood looked confused.

 

Saeyoung shook his head. “No, that’s not the issue. The thing is, he just up and went to see her. She didn’t invite him or anything.”

 

“Oh…” Vanderwood could understand why Saeyoung had been so upset. Saeran’s behavior was more than a little bit disconcerting, especially considering his situation. He had the predilection to get a little too attached to people a little too quickly, and if this Momoka girl didn’t understand that, it would likely make her extremely uncomfortable. Furthermore, what if Saeran started to take things too far? What if he started stalking her out of obsession? Of course, it wasn’t like that now, but it had the potential to end up that way if left alone. Saeyoung seemed to understand this, and was right to be worried about his brother’s mental health and his behavior. Vanderwood believed that both Saeyoung, and Saeran’s therapist should be making a proactive effort to monitor and advise Saeran’s behavior.

 

“That is...disconcerting.”

 

“I know.” Saeyoung rubbed at the sides of his head. “I’m worried that he’s going to become obsessed with her. It’s one thing to be friends, but I’m not sure Saeran understands how to have a healthy kind of friendship yet. I don’t know that he understands how boundaries need to work. I  _ want  _ him to make friends, but…”

 

“You need to pay close attention to how he acts with her, monitor this as closely as you can,” Vanderwood suggested. “Maybe bring it up to his therapist.”

 

“That’s a good idea.”

 

“You know, it might not hurt to give this girl a heads-up too, so that she understands.”

 

“No. I’m not going to do that.” Saeyoung seemed adamant. “He told me that one of the reasons he likes being with her is that she doesn’t treat him like he’s different. I don’t want to go behind his back, and betray his trust like that.”

 

Vanderwood disagreed, but he had to let Saeyoung do what he thought was best for his brother. “Just...keep an eye on him, okay?”

 

\---

 

Even as Mina had him hard at work cleaning the kitchen counters, Saeran still had Momo on the brain. There was something about her that completely fascinated him, and so much to learn about her. Despite their lengthy conversation the day before, he still knew relatively little about her. In the past, he would have simply hunted the information down on his own, but he knew now that doing such a thing was wrong, an invasion of privacy. (The prospect still tempted him, of course.) Saeran had sworn to himself (and his therapist) that he would never do such a thing again, that he would learn about Momoka the old-fashioned way, by letting her open up to him over time. Still, the curiosity itched! Who was she at her core? What made her tick? What had compelled her to leave her native country of Japan and come here? Was her family situation as difficult as his own?

 

Saeran wondered when he could see her again. It wouldn’t be as difficult to get a hold of her now; they’d exchanged phone numbers, so they could talk anytime they wanted, invite each other out whenever they liked. It made Saeran a little nervous, though, the idea of talking to Momo on the phone. It made him feel a bit shy for some reason. Maybe he was worried that he’d be tempted to call and text her too often, that she’d be annoyed by him. Saeran wasn’t quite sure that the happy medium was for this; he didn’t want to contact her too much, or too little. 

 

Much as he hated to admit it, he realized that maybe he should ask Saeyoung for advice about this. His brother had been socialized much more normally than he had, and this stuff probably came much more naturally to him. Saeran put away the cleaning supplies, and went to find his twin. “Saeyoung?” He knocked on the door to the second bedroom, making the elder brother look up from the computer situated on his lap. “Can I ask you about something?”

 

“Of course.” Saeyoung did his best not to look absolutely thrilled that his standoffish brother was coming to him for advice. “What’s on your mind?”

 

“Well, I really like being friends with Momo, and I like talking to her, but I don’t want to be...weird, or anything.”

 

“I think I understand what you’re saying. You haven’t had a typical friendship before, so you don’t-”

“I don’t know how to act right.”

 

Saeyoung screwed up his face. “I wasn’t going to put it like that. I was gonna say that you don’t know the acceptable pattern of behavior.”

 

“Well, what  _ is  _ the acceptable pattern of behavior?” Saeran asked him.

 

“I think...at first you should try to mimic her behavior. If she wants to talk everyday, then it’s okay, as long as you’re okay with talking that often.”

 

Saeran nodded in understanding. “How often do you think I should try to see her in person?”

 

“Right now? I think once a week is probably best. In the future? You might end up being such good friends that you hang out several times each week.” Saeyoung shrugged. “You kind of just have to let things progress naturally.”

 

“I just...I don’t want to be weird.”

 

Saeyoung thought for a minute. “Just...try to pay attention to how she responds to you. Listen to how she talks, and what she says. Notice her body language, how quickly she responds to messages, things that upset her.”

 

“And how often she invites me to do things?” Saeran offered.

 

“Yeah, that too. You’re getting it.”

 

Saeran nodded. “I see what you’re saying.” He smiled softly. “Thanks. I’ll give it a try.”

 

\---

 

Saeran turned in his swivel chair to look across the room at his phone laying on his bed, willing it to chime with a phone call or new text message. He wanted to talk to Momo again, but after his conversation with Saeyoung, he thought that maybe he should wait for her to contact him first. Still, he itched to do it; it would be so easy just to send a simple “what’s up” and start a conversation. It had been almost 24 hours now.  _ Only 24 hours, dude.  _ Maybe Saeyoung was right. Maybe he  _ was  _ getting attached too quickly. Saeran ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. “Ughhhh…” Why was this so much harder for him than it needed to be? He internally cursed Rika for making him so socially inept.

 

As he opened his internet browser and navigated to Webflix, hoping a movie would clear his mind, Saeran’s phone dinged, and he pounced on it like a rabid animal, eyes searching the glowing screen. To his delight, Momoka had decided to text him. “I had fun yesterday. Let’s do it again soon :).”


	107. Kindred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for discussion of self-harm and suicidal behavior. Sex abuse is mentioned but not in explicit detail.

Saeran was all smiles as he climbed into the back seat of the hired car. He should really start working on getting a driver’s license of his own, if he was going to keep going out on his own like this. At Mint Eye, he’d only ever been allowed out with an armed escort deep under Rika’s influence, and that person would drive him wherever she had wanted him to go. Saeran’s outings were much more lighthearted now- fun day trips with friends, or his brother, instead of Rika’s ethically dubious commands. Momoka had invited him out for the afternoon again, since it was Sunday, and she didn’t have to work. She had a job, he’d learned through their text conversations, working for Daesun University as studio monitor in the ceramics department. She liked the job, she said, since she could work on her own projects while keeping an eye on things. Still, she was glad to have the day off, and wanted to do something fun with a friend.

 

Today, she wanted him to meet her at her apartment, and Saeran was curious, but nervous, to see where she lived. It was always a strange thing, going to a person’s home for the first time. Saeran wondered what it would be like. It would probably be small, since Momoka lived alone, and bohemian, if Saeran knew anything about artist-types. She’d already apologized in advance for what she called “the inevitable dusting of cat hair,” since he would be meeting her pet today- a kitten named Luna. Mina’s cats had grown fond of Saeran since they’d been living together. He hoped little Luna would like him too.

 

After seeing his fascination with her ceramic work, Momoka wanted to take him to a studio downtown where amateurs could take a short class, and make their own clay pieces. Saeran doubted that he’d be any good at it, but she reassured him that it didn’t matter how his work turned out, that the point was to have fun. The idea of trying something new- especially in front of someone who’d mastered the skill- made him feel a little anxious, but he was determined to give it his best shot, and try immersing himself in the practice that he’d found so interesting before. Besides, he knew that even if he really struggled, Momoka wasn’t the kind of person who would make fun of him for it.

 

Saeran tugged his sleeve down over his wrist, covering the pink scar. He’d finally had his stitches removed from the healing gash where he’d cut himself in the hospital, and he didn’t have to keep it covered anymore. He could cover the tell-tale mark with a long shirt sleeve, but today he’d need to roll his sleeve up to avoid making a mess with the clay. What if Momoka noticed the scar? What would she think of it? Even if she didn’t say anything about it, she’d still draw conclusions in her mind. She didn’t seem like the kind of person to judge others, but he wondered what she would think of him because of it. Saeran wasn’t sure he was ready to share his whole history with her yet, since he still didn’t know her all  _ that  _ well. Maybe she’d think that it was from an accidental injury… Even better, maybe she wouldn’t notice it at all…

 

The car pulled up in front of Momo’s small apartment building, and Saeran handed the driver the fee he owed before climbing out of the backseat. The building was simple, but clean and well-maintained, with a landscape worker out front, mowing the grass. Saeran looked at the address again, having forgotten the unit number, and slowly began to climb the outdoor staircase, heading for the second floor. He could identify Momoka’s door right away, with the autumn-themed wreath hanging on it, and the all-seeing-eye mobile hanging in the nearby window, along with a novelty sign that read “The Witch is In.” Saeran tapped lightly on the door, earning a loud, but squeaky  _ meow  _ from inside.

 

“Sorry, I’m a little bit early,” Saeran said sheepishly as Momo opened the door, using one leg to hold the cat back.

 

“It’s okay. Come inside, I’ll be ready to go soon.”

 

Saeran made himself comfortable on the small couch just inside as Momo flitted about, tidying up a bit before leaving. The apartment was small, just as he’d imagined, but the efficiency unit still felt home-y, with warm sunlight filtering in through delicate lace curtains, shining on a couple of small flowering plants on the window sill. He could see that Momoka preferred subtle colors- shades of grey and lavender and peachy-pink; they rendered the space colorful and light, but still soft. Luna climbed onto the couch next to Saeran, carefully investigating this newcomer. He waggled his fingers at her, and she put her paws up playfully, rolling over onto his lap and batting at his hands. He grinned at the kitten, not noticing how his sleeve had begun to slide down his arm.

 

Momoka did notice, however. When Saeran looked up, she was studying the mark on his wrist carefully, her brow furrowed. His heart leapt in his chest, and he quickly pulled the sleeve back into place, trying to hide it. He could feel his face turning red and hot, suddenly very self-conscious. From the look on her face, Saeran could tell that she knew  _ exactly  _ where the scar had come from. He cringed, worrying what she thought.

 

“Why are you covering it up?” she asked finally. Her tone wasn’t accusatory, but rather gentle; curious and confused rather than annoyed.

 

“It’s embarrassing,” Saeran mumbled in return, not quite able to meet her gaze. 

 

“I don’t think so.” Momoka slipped off the lightweight jacket she’d been wearing, holding up her arms so that Saeran could see the underside. She bore a scar very similar to his own, but longer and much more faded; her wound had been healed for a long time. Both arms also held marks nearer to the elbows; tiny white lines that moved across her arms horizontally. Saeran’s eyes widened. When he had tried to imagine how Momo would react to his own injury, he never dreamed the she might have scars of her own. The difference was, she wasn’t ashamed of what she’d been through, whatever it was.

 

“Momo… I had no idea…”

 

Momoka shrugged. “It isn’t really an obvious thing. I wasn’t trying to hide it or anything, but it’s more a thing of my past than my present. I’m getting the treatment I need now.”

 

“Treatment?”

 

“I have Major Depressive Disorder,” Momoka explained. “It’s caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain, so I spent most of my life either feeling sad, or hopeless, or not feeling much of anything at all. I’ve been getting help for it for about three years now, and it’s helped  _ so much _ . Of course I still feel sad sometimes, but everyone does. It’s just not a constant state of being anymore.”

 

“Do you see a therapist too?” Saeran immediately cringed, realizing that his innocent question might have been too personal.

 

Momoka didn’t seem to mind. She nodded. “I only go once a week now. I was in intensive cognitive behavioral therapy for a couple of years to learn coping mechanisms to deal with my depression.” She plopped down on the couch next to Saeran. “I’m on medication, too- antidepressants. Those  _ really  _ help, because they fix that chemical issue.”

 

“Did you always have depression?”

 

Momo knit her eyebrows together, mulling it over. “I don’t remember it really being  _ too  _ much of a problem when I was young… It only really became noticeable when I was a teenager, maybe 14 or 15.”

 

“You’ve been living with this for that long?!” Saeran’s eyes widened.

 

“Yeah. If I’d been able to get help right away, it might not have gotten as bad as it did, but…” Momoka paused, staring off into space.

 

“Why didn’t you get help?”

 

“At first, I didn’t realize that it was something that could be treated, and my parents thought it was just me being a moody teenager,” she explained. “After a while, I started looking into it, and realized that I might have an actual disorder that could be treated.”

 

Saeran did the math in his head. “You waited for almost five years before looking into treatment?”

 

“Oh, no.” Momoka shook her head. “I wanted to find someone to treat me, but my parents wouldn’t take me to a psychologist. They thought it was shameful, and that it would be better for me to keep quiet about it than to risk dirtying our  _ Good Family Name _ .” Her voice carried a little bit of bitterness.

 

“So you had to wait until you were an adult?” Saeran felt sorry for her, sorry that her family wasn’t as supportive of her getting the help she needed as Saeyoung had been of him.

 

She nodded. “As soon as I graduated from high school, I left home, and came here to go to school. I haven’t talked to my family since then, and they haven’t tried to contact me either.”

 

Saeran growled under his breath. He knew how it was to have shitty parents, who only cared for their child as long as they were perfect, or worse, didn’t care at all.

 

“During my first year here, I had a hard time finding resources that I could afford. Therapy can get really expensive, and I only had my scholarship money to live on, since my depression was so bad that I couldn’t work. It was a kind of vicious cycle.”

 

“I think I understand what you mean.”

 

Momoka cleared her throat. “I’d been cutting myself for years, because sometimes the physical pain was easier to deal with. My second semester here, I was at my lowest point. I wanted to die.” Her tone was grim as she continued, and her eyes carried a sadness as she mourned the pain she’d experienced. “I tried to kill myself in the bathroom of the ceramics building after class one day. I did it there because I knew that someone would find my body.” She took a deep breath. “I cut one vein in my wrist open, hoping that I would bleed out quickly. I passed out, but woke up in the hospital.”

 

“Someone found you more quickly than you intended.”  _ So we both had the same fortunate misfortune. _

 

“I forgot to lock the bathroom door,” Momoka explained sheepishly, amused despite the grim topic at hand. “Won-Jae found me. I guess he kind of felt responsible for me after that… He kind of became a surrogate older brother, you can probably tell.”

 

“My brother found me too. I was in the hospital at the time, so I couldn’t have locked the door even if I wanted to.”

 

“He must have come in really quickly after you did it,” Momoka suggested. “I’m surprised that you were able to do that in a hospital. You can’t usually find any kind of sharp object there.”

 

“One of the nurses accidentally left a glass water bottle in my room, even though they had specific instructions not to leave  _ anything  _ in my room.” Saeran paused. “I was in the psych ward.”

 

“I won’t pry too much-”

 

“No, it’s okay.” Saeran felt more comfortable now. He wasn’t alone in having a difficult past, so he didn’t feel as awkward about it now. “Basically, Saeyoung and I were born to a single mother, and she abused us for our whole childhood. I got it worse than he did, since I was smaller, and weaker.”

 

“Wow, my parents really pale in comparison…”

 

“Saeyoung kept looking for opportunities for us to get away from the situation. He met a young woman named Rika, who said that she would take care of me while Saeyoung started working. We were still young at the time, but he’d taught himself a lot about computers, and he found an intelligence group willing to employ him.”

 

Momoka nodded in understanding. “So you went to live with Rika.”

 

“That’s right. The problem was, Rika hadn’t been truthful about who she really was. Saeyoung met her at a church, and she seemed kind and charitable. In reality, she was a manipulative, narcissistic cult leader. Do you remember when I asked you before if you were affiliated with a group called ‘Mint Eye?’” Saeran asked.

 

“That’s why!” Momo gasped. “You were worried that I was one of them!”

 

Saeran tugged down his sweater over his shoulder to expose the large tattoo he’d gotten while part of the cult. “Yeah. I was worried that Rika was still trying to control me, like she did for all those years,” Saeran explained. “When I first got to Mint Eye, she drugged me, starved me, and brainwashed me so that she could  _ use  _ me later on.”

 

Momoka looked sick. “Oh my god…”

 

“She had me do all kinds of terrible things- she had me spy on people, kidnap people… She even had me torture other members if she thought they were withholding information.” Saeran swallowed hard. “When she wanted to punish me, she would let the others use me as they liked. Sometimes she’d do it herself. She thought it was some kind of  _ reward _ …”

 

“I’m...so sorry that happened to you…” All the color had drained from Momo’s face. She looked horrified, not at Saeran himself, but at what had been done to him.

 

“I-I’m trying to get better now!” he stammered, worried that she might be frightened by what he’d once been. “I’m not like that anymore…”

 

“I know that,” Momo reassured him gently.

 

Saeran’s voice softened. “I feel bad for what I did before. I want to be a good person now.”

 

“You can’t hold yourself  _ completely  _ responsible for it,” she reminded him. “You were drugged. You were brainwashed.”

 

“There were moments where I questioned it, in the beginning, but I ignored it. I thought that if my Savior- that’s what Rika called herself- ordered it, then it was okay.” Saeran got quiet for a minute, looking down at his shoes. “Sometimes I wonder if I really am a bad person deep down inside…”

 

“Do you want to get better? Do you  _ want  _ to change for the better?”

 

“Yes! Of course!”

 

Momoka crossed her arms, staring at him bluntly. “Then that’s all that matters. The first step is wanting to do better. It  _ is  _ hard, and it  _ does  _ take a long time, but you can do it. Recovery is a choice.”

 

“Sometimes I wonder if I really deserve it…” Saeran wondered if maybe he was fishing for sympathy at this point.

 

“You do deserve it. What you did wasn’t right, but you were manipulated into thinking that it was.” She tilted her head. “Don’t forget that you were victimized too.”

 

“But can I really just...start over?”

 

“In a way… What you’ve been through will always be a part of your history, and it will always shape your worldview to a certain extent, but you get to choose where you go from here. You can do  _ anything you want  _ now.”

 

“Anything I want, huh?” Saeran thought it over for a moment. “I guess what I want right now, is just...to be happy.”

 

Momo grinned. “That sounds like a plan.”

 


	108. Sweet Like Peach Blossoms

Neither Saeran, nor Momoka realized how late it had gotten until they stepped out the front door of the diner after grabbing dinner. After their pottery class had ended, they’d found themselves growing hungry, and decided to go ahead and have dinner together. Saeran had elected to make a couple of planters during the class, since he’d been kicking around the idea of growing some flowers in his windowsill. The garden at Mint Eye had always been his one comfort during his time there, and he wondered if it might be something he still enjoyed. Momo thought it was a great idea, and spent the class encouraging him, telling him that he was doing well as she crafted a beautiful teapot while barely paying attention.

 

“What do you wanna do now?” she asked as she tugged on her jacket to protect herself from the early autumn chill.

 

“I don’t know… I should probably be getting home now, right?” Saeran worried that he might be imposing on his friend if he took up more of her time than he already had today.

 

“Oh, do you have something you need to do tomorrow?”

 

“Not really… It’s just that it’s getting late, and I figured you might like to have some time to yourself,” Saeran explained.

 

“Oh! Don’t worry about that. I...want to keep hanging out.” There was a shyness in Momoka’s voice, and it struck Saeran as being kind of...cute.  _ How can I say no when you ask like that? _

 

He contemplated staying out a while longer. It was only about eight in the evening now, and it really wasn’t uncommon for people to stay out much later than that. He was an adult! He didn’t have a curfew! At most, Saeyoung might get worried and come looking for him. Saeran could always send his brother a text, telling him that he didn’t know how late he’d be out, and that he’d let him know when he was leaving to come home. He  _ did  _ want to stay out late tonight, and hang out with his friend.  _ I’ve made so much progress lately… Damn it, I’ve earned this! _ “I want to keep hanging out too. Do you have any ideas for what we can do next?”

 

“We could go back to my apartment and watch a movie if you want. I’ll make some popcorn,” Momo suggested.

 

A quiet night in after an afternoon out did sound nice. “That sounds good.”

 

They caught a train back to the other side of town, getting off at the Daesun station to hoof it back to Momoka’s apartment, chatting the whole way. Saeran brought up his interest in gardening again, and they spent a good twenty minutes just talking about what kinds of plants they’d grown before, and what species might be interesting to try in the future. Momo thought that orchids might be a nice challenge, but worried that she’d end up killing them, as they required much more specialized care than her hardy little herb plants. Saeran lamented that he couldn’t grow roses out of a pot in his bedroom; he hoped that one day he might live in a house with a big backyard where he could grow anything he wanted. The idea of planning a future seemed weird to him, but he’d begun to conceptualize things that he wanted for himself. He wanted Momoka to be a part of his future too, as his world grew larger and larger.

 

\---

 

Momoka had worried that Saeran might not enjoy this kind of movie, since he’d never seen anything like it before, had no concept of what made it appealing. He had been a little confused by it at first, the idea of humans piloting giant robots to fight monsters from another dimension being  _ so  _ out of his frame of reference, but he seemed to be enjoying it now, laughing at the antics of the goofy scientist character between handfuls of popcorn and making the occasional sound of approval when one of the robots did something cool. He had the wide-eyed wonder of a child as he watched the film, and it occurred to Momoka that Saeran had never really gotten to  _ have  _ a childhood, so it might be good for him to be able to indulge in things that were purely fun now, as an adult.

 

He made a sound of surprise now, as one of the monsters popped up suddenly, and she smiled as she watched him as much as she did the movie. Momoka really, really enjoyed spending time with Saeran- he was a quiet, gentle sort of person, but he would get really enthusiastic and excited when he got to talking about something that interested him. It was endearing. They’d dealt with some of the same problems in the past, and understood each other without judgment. They just...clicked. Momoka hoped that he would stick with his therapy, and progress with his recovery so that things might get better for him in the future. For now, she was just happy to be a friend. Saeran was a special person, and his companionship was something worth treasuring.

 

Saeran looked over at her suddenly. “Did the air conditioner come on? It’s a little bit chilly in here.”

 

Momoka looked up at the ceiling vent positioned directly over the couch. “Oh. Yeah. I guess it did. The landlord controls the A/C, so I can’t turn it off. Sorry…” She gestured to the foot of the bed, near where she was sitting, having moved so that Saeran could really stretch out on the couch. “You can come sit over here and wrap up in a blanket.”

 

She immediately realized that her suggestion could very easily be taken the wrong way, but Saeran, with his limited experience with socialization, didn’t take it as such. Without hesitation, he jumped up and padded over, reaching for the blanket that she offered.

 

Saeran settled down on the other end of the bed, leaning against the wall and pulling his legs up to his chest as he wrapped the cover around himself. Luna settled down next to him, forming a little loaf of fur. Saeran looked comfortable as he continued to watch the movie, which neared its ending now, from across the room. Momoka hoped that he would actually get to see the end of the film; he looked sleepy, and she wondered if he might should be getting home to get some sleep.

 

Her suspicions turned out to be right. With five minutes left in the movie, Saeran could barely keep his eyes open. He eventually conceded, and they stayed closed just as the credits began to roll. Saeran’s head nodded forward, his chin meeting his chest as he fell fully asleep. Momoka couldn’t help being amused at the sight. He would sooner fall asleep sitting up than just admit that he was tired, and should probably go home. She didn’t mind. He would probably wake up in a few minutes anyway. Momoka picked up the book sitting next to her, opening to where she’d left off, thinking that reading might be a good, quiet way to pass the time until Saeran woke up.

 

What Momoka didn’t anticipate was how much she tended to get sucked in to her reading. It was always “one more chapter,” and then suddenly the sun would be rising. By the time she looked up from the book in front of her, Saeran had shifted to lay on his side, eyelashes fluttering in his deep sleep. It just seemed wrong to wake him up now, to make him go home at this hour.  _ Almost three in the morning?! When did it get so late?!  _ Instead, Momoka carefully got up and grabbed a pillow from the couch. Ever so gently, she lifted Saeran’s head just enough to slip the cushion underneath before rearranging his blankets to cover him completely. She would let him stay here overnight, since he seemed to be sleeping so peacefully, and he could go home in the morning once he’d gotten a good night’s rest. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience for him.

 

Needing a good night’s sleep herself, there wasn’t much Momoka could do besides turn out the light and lie down next to him. It felt strange, sharing a bed with another person; she’d never slept next to another person before, much less a  _ boy _ . Her heart quickened its pace, and she wondered if she’d be able to sleep tonight, inches away from Saeran. She hadn’t really considered before what a pretty face he had- smooth skin and high cheekbones.  _ Wow...I  _ really  _ need to get some sleep.  _ Momoka was clearly so tired that she wasn’t thinking straight. She flipped the light switch and carefully crawled under the covers, mindful not to disturb her friend. She fell asleep more easily than she’d anticipated, the warmth of Saeran’s body not totally unwelcome on this chilly Autumn night.

 

\---

 

Saeran’s eyes began to flutter open as early morning sunlight began to peek through the window. He groaned and pulled the covers over his head, not quite ready to face the new day just yet. Though he wanted to stay here, cozy and comfortable, for just a little while longer, he did feel more well-rested than he had...well, maybe ever. Though he could typically get a decent night’s sleep, he still found himself waking up during the night, as the Mint Eye nightmares still plagued him. Last night, however, he couldn’t recall waking up even once. His sleep hadn’t been totally dreamless, but they weren’t frightening- just the odd mish-mash of daytime stimuli that faded in and out as seamlessly as waves crashing on the shore. An unfamiliar scent tickled his nose, fresh and floral. Perhaps Saeyoung had washed the sheets with a different detergent this time…

 

No, that wasn’t it.

 

His eyes snapped open as it finally clicked that he wasn’t at home. Wide awake now, Saeran could remember clearly. His last memory from the night before was barely being able to keep his eyes open as he struggled to catch the end of the movie. He’d eventually fallen asleep in Momoka’s bed, and she had apparently let him stay there all night.  _ But if I slept here, then where is…  _ Saeran peeked out from under the covers, aware now that he was not alone in the small bed. He looked over to the other lump of a person tucked under the duvet- Momo, with the covers pulled up to her nose, eyes still shut tight. It seemed that all of his shifting as he woke had not disturbed her, as her breathing remained slow and steady, her black and silver hair splayed out over the pillow.

 

Saeran was absolutely mortified at his present situation, a guest who had overstayed his welcome. He wished that Momo had woken him and sent him home, rather than permit him to impose on her so grossly. Furthermore, he’d fallen asleep in! her! bed!, leaving her to either sleep on the couch or next to him. Saeran hoped that he hadn’t made her uncomfortable in forcing this decision, though he liked to think that if it had really bothered her, she would have sent him home, rather than allowing him to stay. Still, it felt so  _ rude _ , so inappropriate!

 

At the same time, he  _ had  _ slept well. Saeran wondered why that was. Maybe it was the warmth of another person that comforted him, someone that he could trust. Maybe it was just Momoka herself that made him feel safe. She was an easy person to be around, the kind of person with whom you could be completely vulnerable. This softly-colored one-room apartment, with the pale sunbeams peeking through sheer curtains, casting little dots of sunlight that danced on the plush, softly-fragranced bedding, the tiny, gentle girl who still rested blissfully beside him, her cheeks pink, and her fingers twitching delicately against her pillow...it felt like home. This place was warm, and safe, and utterly calming. Saeran felt as if he could be perfectly at ease staying here forever.

 

As Momoka made a little noise in her sleep, he looked over at her again. Maybe it was the unique feeling of an early morning, but she looked different to him now. Her skin seemed so dewy and smooth, her features delicate, like a doll’s. Her lips pursed subconsciously, full and pink, and Saeran was struck with the impulse to lean over and kiss her, this kind young woman who’d allowed him to share her bed, rather than force him to go home. She reminded Saeran of a certain type of rose- peach-colored with flushes of brilliant pink. “Momo” meant “peach,” didn’t it? He thought the name suited her perfectly; she was so sweet, and soft! Saeran’s face flushed as he considered whether she might taste  sweet too, and he quickly banished the lewd thought. He shouldn’t think of Momoka in such a vulgar manner. She deserved to be treated much better than that, even if she couldn’t know what he was thinking.

 

Saeran probably shouldn’t be having those kinds of thoughts right now, anyway. He’d barely begun his recovery from the extensive abuse he’d suffered over the years, and it wouldn’t be healthy for him to try and pursue a romantic relationship right now. He needed to be able to take care of himself first, deal with his own problems. There was no way he could tend to the emotional needs of a partner in this state. Besides, he was in such a vulnerable place right now...it wouldn’t be fair to his significant other to have to deal with all of that while receiving so little care in return. Maybe in the future Saeran could pursue this, if Momoka felt the same way, but now wouldn’t be a good time. For now, he would have to be content just enjoying the lovely feeling of liking someone, of cherishing her company, and delighting in her friendship.

 


	109. Slow and Steady

\---

An entire week had passed since Saeran’s accidental sleepover at Momoka’s apartment, increasingly-short Autumn days melding into one another as they turned the city vibrant shades of red and gold. Curiously, he hadn’t gotten to see her again since that morning when he ducked out, embarrassed even as Momo told him not to worry about it, that she wasn’t upset at all. After seeing her twice the previous week, her absence bothered Saeran; she’d so quickly become a normal part of his life. Momoka was busy this week, she said, as all of her professors had decided to schedule due dates and tests close together, as they apparently often did. Saeran understood, of course. She had to prioritize her studies over socialization, but he still missed her, especially now that his feelings for her had begun to blossom into something more. He’d scarcely known her for a month, but now it felt as if something was missing when he couldn’t see Momo’s cute face, or hear the sweet sound of her voice.

 

Though they continued to converse through text messages, Saeran still didn’t feel quite right about his present situation. Momo had  _ said  _ that everything was fine, but was it? He generally believed that she would be honest with him, but he worried that maybe she’d only said those things so that he wouldn’t feel bad. What if she was making up excuses to stop spending time with him? Momo wouldn’t do that, right? The idea didn’t line up at all with her personality, but Saeran still felt paranoid. He didn’t want to lose the person who at this point had become his closest friend, the person who could relate most to his struggles! He tried to pass the time constructively, to do things he enjoyed to take his mind off of it, but that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach always seemed to return every time something reminded him of Momoka. He could go to a local nursery and buy flowers to keep in his window, but then he’d remember that he needed to go pick up the planters he’d made in the class he took with her. He could run a hot bath for himself, but then he’d take off his shirt and see his tattoo, strikingly similar to Momo’s.

 

Saeyoung, of course, had noticed that something was wrong. Saeran explained the situation, but his brother seemed more concerned about Saeran’s reaction than to the issue itself. Saeyoung believed that he was exaggerating things in his mind, and warned Saeran not to get too obsessive, whether over Momoka’s absence, or Momoka herself. He reminded his brother that just because she couldn’t make time for Saeran this week, didn’t mean that she didn’t care about him. Besides, she deserved to have time for herself, she deserved boundaries, that Saeran was in no way entitled to see her whenever he wanted. Saeran agreed, of course- it wasn’ that he felt  _ entitled  _ to Momoka. He was just worried that something was wrong, that he’d upset her before. He just wanted confirmation that everything was okay.

 

Even as Saeyoung reassured him, the anxiety still continued to creep in. What could  _ he  _ know about this anyway? Mina had been equally lackadaisical, telling Saeran not to worry, that as long as Momoka still seemed happy to talk with him, he didn’t need to be concerned. Her advice carried a certain logic- if Momo really was upset with him, she might attempt to slowly sever contact- but Saeran still felt off about it, even if Mina’s reasoning did help him calm down a little bit. Momoka  _ did  _ continue to talk to him, often reaching out to him first. Every time Saeran’s phone chimed, a wave of relief washed over him, especially when she’d send longer texts, reminding him that she  _ was  _ eager to participate in their conversation.

 

As he attempted to engross himself in a book that he’d picked up earlier that day, his phone buzzed again.  _!!!  _ Saeran nearly chucked the paperback across the room, reaching for his cell. Momoka had sent him a photo this time, but that wasn’t anything new; she was the kind of person to send pictures of things she thought the other person might like. She’d sent Saeran plenty of nice flower pictures, and pictures of Luna. This was the first time she’d sent an image of herself.  _ “I’m shopping for something to wear to a reception for an exhibition I’m showing work in. What do you think of this dress?”  _ She wanted Saeran’s opinion on clothing? Saeran enlarged the picture. Momoka wore a deep blue, wrap-style dress whose hem fell between her knees and ankles. The light, floaty fabric was printed with tiny, silver and gold stars that glinted under the fluorescent store lights. It was perfect for Momo.

 

“Pretty,” Saeran typed back. He hoped he wasn’t being too blatant with his response.

 

Her response came quickly. “The dress? Or me? ;)” Saeran could tell that she was being playful, but he answered her honestly anyway.

 

“Both?”  _ Is this too inappropriate? I only told her that she’s pretty, but… _

 

Saeran didn’t need to worry too much, because Momo’s next message was another photo, taken from an unflattering up angle, with her making a goofy face. “You sure about that? lol”

 

Even in an “ugly” picture, Saeran still thought that she looked beautiful. Maybe if he was lucky, Momoka would let him come to her exhibition reception. What he really wanted was to see her right now; temptation reared its ugly head to go to her apartment right now, to be there waiting when she returned. Saeran knew better than that, however. It would be an invasion of her privacy, an intrusion when she had other things that she had to do. He didn’t want to do something so presumptuous. Besides, he needed to learn how to like someone without obsessing over them, without having to see them all the time. If he indulged his desire to see her  _ now _ , he’d only be rewarding himself, and making it that much easier to ignore her boundaries the next time he had a whim to do so. Saeran took a deep breath to calm himself, and simply texted back, “When is the exhibition? I’d like to come, if that’s okay.”

 

\---

 

_ Maybe I shouldn’t have come the night of the reception.  _ Of course Saeran  _ wanted  _ to see Momoka’s show, but he could have planned to stop by on a different day, when the Daesun student gallery wasn’t bustling with every looky-loo in town. At the same time, he was happy that Momo’s show should be so popular- well, it wasn’t just  _ her  _ show, but still. Saeran had seen several people marveling over her work, saying that it was “impressive,” or “beautiful,” or wonderfully delicate.” According to Momo herself, she’d already gotten inquiries regarding the purchase of her work. One person even wanted to commission her to create a full set of dinnerware. She’d calmly given them business cards and told them to contact her again, but secretly she was delighted, excitedly recounting the experience to Saeran.

 

To Saeran’s disappointment, she hadn’t been able to talk to him much more than that in the past two hours that he’d been here. He did feel a little bit bad for Momoka- she kept getting pulled in every direction; seemingly everyone wanted a chance to talk to her, professors, friends, classmates, even random people who had come in to look at the art. There were only so many times Saeran could make his way around the gallery, looking over each piece for the fourth, fifth, sixth time. He’d tried hovering near Momoka, hoping that she would gravitate back toward him eventually, but then she’d just get pulled aside again, leaving him right back where he’d started. If Saeran were more assertive, he  _ could  _ very well pull her away from everyone else, but this was a special night for her, and he didn’t want to hog up all of her time. He wanted the attention, but he didn’t want to  _ demand  _ it.

 

Standing around by himself felt increasingly awkward, but following Momo around like a puppy would be even more awkward. Saeran did know a few other people here, but he didn’t exactly feel inclined to go and talk to them. V, or  _ Jihyun _ , rather, was here with his girlfriend, but Saeran still had a hard time forgiving him for letting Rika do as she pleased, even though he had known for  _ years  _ what was going on. Besides that, Saeran doubted that Katrina, or “Kat,” as she preferred to be called, would be thrilled to see him; she’d  _ shot  _ him the last time they were face-to-face. To be fair, Saeran had tried to shoot V first, but still… Momoka’s friends were here too- Yoosung and Chae-Young. They were nice enough, even if Chae-Young still felt a little icy about the fact that Saeran had almost blinded her boyfriend. Saeran didn’t want to be  _ that  _ guy, though- the one who finds a couple of people he knows at a party and follows them around all evening. Besides, they were always so  _ handsy  _ with each other, and Saeran wasn’t thrilled by the prospect of being a third wheel to  _ that _ .

 

As he made his way back to the refreshment table for  _ another _ piece of cheese on  _ another _ cracker, Saeran noticed  _ that guy  _ talking to Momoka again. He wasn’t certain of this guy’s name, but he knew that he was one of the other artists featured in the show. Just as soon at Saeran had  _ finally  _ gotten a chance to talk to Momo, this guy had swooped in and dragged her off to look at something. She didn’t seem to mind talking to him, which dug at Saeran a little, but she didn’t act quite as enthusiastic as she did with Saeran. This  _ asshole  _ probably got to see her all the time at school, but he felt as though he had the right to monopolize her time here, too! Angry Saeran would have punched this guy in the face by now...but he probably would have also done a lot of other unspeakable things, and Saeran had decided that he wasn’t going to act like that anymore. For now he would just have to wait, either for that dude to get a clue, or for Momo to tell him to piss off, that she had other, more  _ important  _ people to attend to.

 

Though he knew that Momoka was most likely annoyed by this guy, that she was only putting up with him to be nice, but Saeran still couldn’t help feeling jealous. It wasn’t  _ fair  _ for him to take up all of her time! Why couldn’t she just tell him to back off for a while, that she had friends here that had come to see her at her show? The guy said something to her, and to Saeran’s disgust, she laughed. She didn’t  _ like  _ this fucker, did she?! Couldn’t she see that he was just some dumb fuckboy? Saeran clenched his jaw, biting back all manner of obscenities.  _ He _ didn’t  _ deserve  _ her time, and yet she continued to indulge him!  _ Momo, you’re a much nicer person than I am…  _ Saeran needed to calm down. In here, he felt like he was suffocating.

 

He needed to get out of here for a while, at least until Momoka finished with the reception, since they’d planned to go have coffee afterward. If he couldn’t see what was going on, he couldn’t be upset by it. Saeran made a hot dash for the doors, stepping out into the cool evening, his breath coming out in translucent white clouds. A couple of other guests lingered by the door, having ducked out for a cigarette. One of them noticed Saeran’s flushed face of frustration. “Hey, you alright man?”

 

“Yeah...yeah. I uh, I just needed to come outside and calm down for a minute.” Saeran leaned against the brick wall, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

 

“You want a smoke?”

 

Saeran had never been a regular smoker, but he would have one on occasion back at Mint Eye, in order to suppress his hunger. “I guess so. Yeah, thanks.” He accepted the offered cigarette and borrowed flame, taking a long drag as he stared off into space.

 

\---

 

By nine o’clock, the reception had begun to wind down at last. Things like this were fun, and exciting, but emotionally draining for Momoka. After being pulled this way and that all evening, she was ready to relax and enjoy a cup of coffee with Saeran, who’d been nice enough to come here and endure all of this for her sake. She’d been looking forward to this ever since he’d responded to her text from the dressing room, telling her that she looked pretty in her dress. He was quiet, and his compliments delicate, but he still had a way of making her heart pound, breath hitching in her throat. Momoka wished that she’d been able to spend more time with him today, rather than dealing with a particularly conversational graduate student. At least she could go now, and spend time with the person she  _ actually  _ wanted to talk to.

 

...If she could find him. Momoka ducked and weaved through the gallery space, looking for that familiar head of white-and-red hair, naturally-colored roots taking over what had been formerly bleached. (Momoka thought he looked like a baby bird shedding its down in favor of bright adult feathers, but she would never tell him that.) Saeran was nowhere to be found, and that worried her. She hoped that he hadn’t had a panic attack or something. Momoka burst through the doors to the outside, relieved to find Saeran there, leaning casually against the wall.

 

“Oh, there you are. Is everything okay?”

 

“Yeah...I’m fine. It was just getting a little stuffy in there, so I wanted to come out for a little bit,” he explained.

 

“I see.” Momoka nodded. “I’m finished here; you wanna go get coffee now?”

 

Saeran smiled, and her nerves subsided. He’d looked so uncomfortable every time she eyed him from across the gallery, but he seemed to be more like himself now. “Let’s go.”

 

As they made their way down the street toward the coffee shop a few blocks away, it became obvious to Momoka that Saeran wasn’t quite as “fine” as he claimed. He seemed distant, responding to her conversation only with brief answers, never making eye contact with her. His voice carried a tone of annoyance, though Momoka could not imagine what he had to be annoyed about. Maybe he still felt on-edge from the overstimulating gallery atmosphere; she brushed her worries away as best she could, hoping that he’d slowly start to feel better. Momoka mentioned something that had been said to her during the reception, and Saeran visibly bristled. It wasn’t just nerves, like she thought. Something had happened during the evening that bothered him, and Momoka was determined to find out what was going on.

 

“Saeran, what’s going on with you?” she asked finally. “I can tell you’re upset.”

 

“Nothing,” he responded, the tone of his voice betraying him. “I’m fine.”

 

“You’re not fine. I can hear it in your voice.” Momoka tried to soften her tone so as to not sound accusatory. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

 

“I just…” Saeran snapped his mouth shut, not wanting to sound like a selfish brat.

 

“You just what?”

 

He covered his eyes with one hand, mumbling. “I just wanted to talk to you more at the reception.”

 

This was what had him so worked up? That he didn’t get to spend as much time with her as he wanted? “Then why didn’t you talk to me more?”

 

Saeran made an aggravated noise. “You kept getting dragged away, and that one guy…” A hot flush had spread across his face by this point.

 

_ He was...jealous?  _ Momoka’s heart skipped a beat. “Saeran…”

 

Saeran sank onto a nearby bench, burying his face in his hands, making a pitiful sound of embarrassment as the hot blush spread to the tips of his ears. “ _ I...you. _ ” he mumbled, his words not totally audible to Momoka.

 

She tilted her head as she took a seat next to him. “What?” She leaned in close, in case he repeated his words just as quietly.

 

Moving his hands away from his face, Saeran turned to face her, struck by how close to one another they were now. He couldn’t quite meet her gaze, hot-faced and heart racing. “I like you, okay?”

 

“Like…”

 

“Like this.” He reached out to cup Momo’s face delicately in his hand, leaning in to gently brush his lips against hers. Saeran moved to pull away after that, not wanting to push things  _ too  _ far, but Momo followed him, lips parted slightly. He relented, leaning back toward her and capturing her mouth again. She inhaled sharply in excitement, reaching for Saeran’s free hand and lacing their fingers together.

 

Saeran pulled away finally, not wanting to be too lewd in public. “Shit...was that okay?”

 

Momoka nodded, pressing her fingertips to her mouth as if to hold the kiss there just a little while longer. “I haven’t ever... _ kissed  _ someone before,” she told him shyly. “It was nice.”

 

“We can do it again if you want.”

 

She laughed, voice light and delicate. “I’d like that. I do think we should take this slow though. I really like you too, but you’re still working through some things, and I feel like I would be taking advantage of you if we got too serious too fast.”

 

Saeran’s face fell. “You don’t...wanna go out with someone else, do you?”

 

“It’s not that,” Momo reassured him, trying hard not to find his jealousy cute, as she knew that it was a symptom of his illness. “I just think that we need to be careful. I don’t want to get in the way of your recovery. I like  _ you _ , but that’s why I want to do what’s best for you.”

 

“Can I still kiss you some more?”

 

“I think that would be fine.” Momoka leaned in for a quick kiss, a tingle running down her spine as she made contact.

 

Saeran smiled as he clasped her hand and squeezed. “I think I can live with that.”

 


	110. Altered State

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for explicit sexual content and ATTEMPTED sexual assault.
> 
> Please understand that I took no pleasure in writing this chapter. It's not a fun one. I promise things will get better from here.

“Saeran...ah~!” Momoka shivered as Saeran took a break from their prolonged kiss to run his tongue over the side of her neck. He seemed to know her body better than she knew it herself- which spots to kiss, and pinch, and lick to elicit little gasps of delight. They’d still managed to make it to the coffee shop, but ultimately, they ended up paying more attention to each other than to the hot beverages in front of them. Saeran would put his hand on Momo’s thigh, and squeeze, and then pull it away. He’d work his hand higher and higher each time, just to see how far he could push things, until she was practically grinding against her wooden chair, desperate for satisfaction. Momoka still worried that maybe they shouldn’t be doing this, at least not yet, but Saeran’s wicked grin told her that he knew  _ exactly  _ what he was doing, that he really, truly wanted this. Perhaps this was the first sexual experience that he  _ did  _ want. 

 

“What do you want to do with me?” Saeran’s voice was deep and husky as he whispered against Momoka’s throat.

 

‘Taking things slow’ had somehow bled over into ‘I guess it would be okay if we just fooled around a little bit.’ “I-I don’t think I want to go all the way yet… Maybe just...touching...for now.”

 

Saeran chuckled softly at Momo’s innocent way of phrasing things. “That’s okay. We can take it slow.”

 

Momoka groaned; they’d said the exact same thing before, and now he was practically humping her leg. She trusted Saeran, though. If she said ‘no’ to something, she knew that he wouldn’t try to force her. He seemed perfectly content for now to let his hands explore, excited by every little sound, every little shaky movement that she made.

 

An unspoken question, one hand hovered over the ties holding Momoka’s dress closed. She nodded, and Saeran carefully untied the simple knot, unwrapping her clothing and marveling at what he found underneath. Her chest was bare to him now, as she hadn’t been wearing any sort of bra, and he didn’t hesitate to turn his attention there, squeezing gently as he licked the tips faintly, smiling as they bloomed pink under his touch.

 

“You do taste sweet…” Saeran remarked, earning a soft sigh as he flipped Momo over onto her back, sitting up for a moment to unbutton his shirt and remove it. Within seconds he was leaning over her again, kissing her swollen lips and sliding his fingers into her panties to tease her delicately. She felt soft and velvety down there, a few thin wisps of hair announcing her womanhood. Saeran started with one finger, not wanting to hurt her, then added a second, fingers growing slick as they entered her. Within minutes she was clenching around them, clinging to Saeran and whimpering in a way that told him that she very much liked how he was making her feel.

 

Though he did enjoy doing  _ this  _ kind of thing, Saeran, like Momoka, wasn’t sure he was ready to do  _ everything  _ yet. Doing this much wasn’t bringing up any kind of negative emotions, or reminding him of his trauma, but, then again, no one at Mint Eye really ever had much interest in foreplay. He felt much more likely to have an episode during  _ actual  _ sex, an act that still intimidated him. Saeran felt glad that Momo wasn’t ready to do that either, even if she would  _ never  _ pressure him into it. If she  _ had  _ wanted to, he would feel bad for denying her, even though that was something about which no one should ever be made to feel bad. It was easier this way, both of them content to make the other feel good in a way that was comfortable for both of them, that didn’t make either of them feel any sort of stress.

 

“I want to make you feel good too.” Momoka sat up, scooting backward to lean against the wall, her legs spread. “Come lay back against me.” Saeran wasn’t quite sure what she intended to do, but he trusted her, following her instructions, the bare skin of his back meeting her chest. Momo reached down around his middle, giving the bulge in his pants a light squeeze that drew a hoarse moan from Saeran. She swiftly unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants, Saeran shifting so that he could pull them halfway down to his knees. He went to remove his underwear as well, but Momoka stopped him. “Not yet,” she whispered against the back of his neck, making him shiver in anticipation. 

 

“Mmm...hah~” Saeran gasped as she began to roam her hands over the parts of him that still remained covered, squeezing his thighs and tracing her fingers over his prominent arousal. His cock throbbed, having been neglected for much of the evening, and now needing attention  _ very desperately.  _

 

Realizing that he couldn’t stand to go untouched for much longer, Momo tugged at the elastic band of Saeran’s underwear, and he quickly removed them, breath catching in his throat as cool air tickled hot flesh. Momoka reached out to touch him, but froze, face growing red as she remembered that she knew absolutely nothing about how to do this, how to touch Saeran in a way that would bring him gratification. He turned to see the puzzled look on her face, but said nothing, instead smiling as he guided her hand to where it needed to go; her hand was tiny, and couldn’t quite wrap all the way around him, but it was dextrous, gripping him to the perfect tightness. Momo began to grope him slowly, her hold tightening as she moved her hand upward, and releasing as she brought it back down. Saeran melted against her, delighted at how much care she put into trying to please him. He let out a low groan, heat building between his thighs.

 

Momoka continued to jerk him, gradually building speed as Saeran whimpered and moaned, eyes fluttering shut. With her other hand she continued exploring his almost-naked body, gently tickling his inner thighs, raking her fingernails down his side as she nibbled at the connection between his neck and shoulder. Saeran relished all of it, never having known  _ how good  _ it felt to be taken care of, for a person to gratify him for no other reason than wanting him to feel pleasure. Soon he was bucking his hips upward to mimic her strokes, choked and breathy sounds tumbling from his lips. “Momo...I’m-!” A sharp cry cut off his words as she gave him one final squeeze, drawing from him a thick ribbon of cum that spattered his chest, the rest running down his length and coating the side of Momoka’s hand.

 

“I’m sorry...I made a mess, didn’t I?” Saeran’s voice was softer suddenly, his eyes looking almost glazed-over beneath his fluttering eyelashes.

 

“It’s okay.” Momoka plucked a few tissues from a nearby box and wiped away the fluid before kissing him gently on the forehead. She had to wonder why Saeran’s personality seemed so different now, but she had to believe that this was simply how he reacted to his powerful release, that he felt tired, and maybe a little bit embarrassed.

 

“Thank you…” Saeran’s voice seemed far-off. Fooling around must have taken a lot out of him, Momoka thought as she shifted, leaving them lying next to each other. “I want to make you feel good now.”

 

She ran her fingers through his hair, feeling a little bit tired herself. “You already did before, with your fingers. Don’t worry about that now, just lie here with me.”

 

“No...please let me!” Saeran moved, rolling Momoka onto her back and laying down on his stomach so that his face rested between her thighs. “I want to  _ worship _ you.”

 

Momo frowned. She knew that this kind of behavior wasn’t healthy for him, and that she wouldn’t enjoy this kind of attention anyway. She didn’t like the idea of Saeran behaving submissively, or of her being in a position of power over him. This was likely residual behavior from his time being abused, and it wasn’t something that she wanted to encourage. Enabling it would only allow him to fall back into his old patterns instead of moving forward and healing. “Don’t-”

 

“You’re my  _ true  _ Savior.” Saeran pressed a kiss to her thigh.

 

“Saeran,  _ don’t _ .” Momoka’s voice was firm.

 

He looked up at her, frowning. “Have you forgotten? My name is  _ Ray _ .”

 

\---

 

_ What?  _ Momoka sat upright, wrapping her dress back around herself and pulling her knees up to her chest. Now she knew for sure that something was wrong, and she internally smacked herself for not paying closer attention to Saeran’s behavior. Of course, she’d had no way of knowing that he might disassociate like this, but she should have  _ known  _ better! He was still in the beginning stages of recovery, his wounds still very raw. Momoka should have been the voice of reason in this situation, rather than letting her emotions, and her libido, get the best of both of them.  _ I’m such an idiot…  _ She needed to try and calm him down. It might not be possible right now to turn ‘Ray’ back into Saeran, but she might could at least stabilize his behavior. If Momo could do that, she might be able to get him home, to his brother. If his present behavior was any indication, it wouldn’t be easy, as ‘Ray’ would want to stay with his new ‘Savior,’ but she had to try.

 

“Ray…” She winced, the unfamiliar name tasting bitter in her mouth. “...please try to calm down.”

 

He smiled gently, sitting back up and folding his hands on his lap. “I am calm. I just want to take care of my Savior, like I’m supposed to.”

 

“I don’t want you to do that right now. Please try to understand-”

 

Saeran’s eyes widened, smile dropping into a pained frown. “You...don’t want me?” He looked as though he might start crying.

 

“It’s not that, I promise.” Momoka shook her head. “I just don’t think that  _ now  _ is the best time for-”

 

“Please let me…” Saeran’s voice wavered as he tried to pull her knees apart. “I want to be  _ good  _ for you!”

 

“If you want to be good, then stop!” Momoka jerked away again, rolling off the bed and standing up.”

 

Saeran followed her, dropping to his knees and grabbing at the skirt of her dress. “Please, Savior…  _ Please! _ ”

 

Momoka pushed him away with her leg, desperate to remove herself from the situation. “I said  _ no _ !”

 

He fell over backward, going silent for a few minutes. She watched him intently, waiting to see what would happen next. If he’d gone catatonic, then she’d have a chance to call Yoosung, and get Saeyoung’s phone number so that she could ask the older twin for help. He would know what to do. Momoka felt a little bit bad for being so forceful, but she knew that she’d made the right decision. It wasn’t like she could just  _ enable  _ this behavior!

 

Before she could grab her phone, Saeran slowly sat up again, his expression looking very different. “ _ No? _ ” His voice sounded grim now, hollow, and the light seemed to have left his eyes, which still looked dull in color. “You think you can say ‘no’ to me?”

 

Momoka winced in pain as he scrambled to his feet and grabbed her firmly by the wrist. “Ray…”

 

“Looking for that  _ marshmallow _ boy? Well he’s not here, Princess. You’ll have to deal with me now.”

 

“And who are you?” Momo tried not to let her fear be heard in her voice.

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Saeran released his grip and shoved her back onto the bed, pinning her shoulders down. “I think I should have you now. What do you think?”

 

Momoka struggled, trying to get away, head spinning and heart racing. It had never occurred to her that this kind of thing would ever happen to her; it didn’t feel real. “No!”

 

Saeran leaned down to try and bite at her neck, though he had a difficult time due to her thrashing. “I’m afraid you don’t have any say in the matter,” he sneered. “You’re  _ mine _ .” He seemed amused as she struggled against him, ultimately unable to get away; he was simply physically stronger. Saeran grabbed her throat with one hand as he went to try and pry her legs apart. Annoyed when her leg strength proved to be greater than he anticipated, he tightened his grip on her neck until she gasped for breath, ultimately yielding to his strength in order to survive.

 

Needing to remove his underwear, Saeran let go of Momoka’s leg for a moment, leaning backward to give himself some space. Seizing the unexpected opportunity, Momo lifted one leg to pull back and kick him square in the chest,  _ hard _ . He stumbled back, gasping as she’d knocked the wind out of him. Recalling something she’d seen in a movie once, she smacked Saeran hard on both sides of his head simultaneously, and he lost his balance, falling to the floor, disoriented. Momoka scrambled over to the kitchen area of her apartment, grabbing the largest knife she could find from the drying rack. She didn’t anticipate actually having to use it, but it carried the message “don’t fuck with me.” Saeran sat slumped on the floor for a few minutes, not saying or doing anything. It seemed her attack had taken the wind right out of his sails. Momoka observed him carefully, wary that he might try to jump her again, but he didn’t. He just sat there, silent and blank-faced, staring at the shattered pieces of terra cotta from a plant that had fallen from the window during his assault.

 

“What...happened?” Saeran reached up to rub his forehead.

 

“Don’t try to be cute with me.”

 

He looked up at Momoka, bewilderment apparent in his eyes. “Oh god...what did I do?”

 

“You really don’t remember?” she whispered hoarsely, tentatively setting the knife back down on the counter and leaning against the cool tile.

 

“Did...did  _ Ray _ do something?” Saeran looked sick. “Or... _ Bad  _ Saeran?”

 

“You  _ knew  _ about them?!” Momo was furious. He’d known about these  _ alters  _ this whole time, and hadn’t bothered to warn her about them?

 

“This would be the first time they returned since I came home!” he sputtered, trying in vain to offer some sort of explanation.

 

“You...They...Whoever it was...tried to  _ rape  _ me.” 

 

Saeran looked like he might throw up. “Oh god...Oh god oh god oh god…” He clutched his head in his hands. “I  _ am  _ a monster…” Momoka knew that he himself would never  _ intend  _ to hurt her, but it was a little bit difficult for her to feel sympathetic right now. He jumped up, delicately holding her face in his hands, looking hurt when she flinched at his touch. “Momo...it’s me. You know I never want to hurt you, right. He looked so desperate, so pitiful, and that worried her even more.

 

“Please don’t touch me,” she whispered.

 

Saeran jerked back like she’d poked him with a hot iron. “Momo…”

 

Momoka looked away, crossing her arms. “Put your clothes back on.”

 

“But…” He hesitantly gathered his things, constantly looking back at her as if he expected her demeanor to soften at any moment.

 

“You should go home now.” She tried to keep her voice calm, not wanting this encounter to become even more emotionally taxing than it already was. She hoped that Saeran would realize how his actions had affected her, and leave without making a fuss. Momo just wanted to be alone now. She might would call Chae-Young later if she found that she wanted to talk through the incident, but right now, she just wanted some goddamn peace and quiet. 

 

“Momoka-”

 

“I said, go home Saeran,” Momoka warned, the edge in her voice becoming more obvious.

 

“But I-”

 

“Get out!” she snapped finally, and he silenced himself, wide-eyed as he fumbled with his clothing and hurried out the front door, looking defeated. 

 

Once he was gone, Momo hurried over to the door, quickly securing every lock. She slid down onto the floor, holding her face in her hands. It took her a few minutes to realize that she was shaking, tears streaming down her face. So many emotions had built up during that encounter- fear, anger, sadness- and now she could finally let them out. She couldn’t believe it. She just couldn’t believe it. Sweet Saeran...replaced by something so cruel and vicious. Momoka trusted him, who he was at his core, but could she really trust him not to hurt her again? Of course mentally ill people weren’t inherently violent, but it would take time for him to learn to control this new symptom.

 

It would take time before Momoka could feel safe with him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that this depiction of Disassociative Identity Disorder may not be entirely accurate, but I had a difficult time finding information to confirm whether this scenario is plausible. I am not a psychologist, so I cannot say with any certainty that Saeran's symptoms are caused by DID, but that is my theory for this AU.
> 
> More information on Disassociative Identity Disorder: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/dissociative-identity-disorder-multiple-personality-disorder


	111. Fear and Self-Loathing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for mention of the events (attempted sexual assault) depicted in the previous chapter.

Saeran watched the long, late afternoon shadows cross his bedroom, telling him how he’d wasted yet another day in bed, feeling sorry for himself. Saeyoung and Mina kept telling him that he needed to get up and do something with himself, that it wasn’t healthy to hide himself away like this, but Saeran always retorted that he couldn’t hurt anyone else in his self-imposed imprisonment. They usually left him alone after that, still disagreeing but not yet able to come up with a good counter-argument. Saeran hated himself for what he, or at least some terrible version of him, had done to Momoka. Though his knowledge of his other selves was limited, as he suffered from lapses of memory when his personality shifted, he knew that “Bad Saeran” could be fiercely angry, and even violent when he didn’t get his way. However, Saeran never could have anticipated that he could actually be capable of  _ raping  _ a person! It seemed that he had read somewhere that one’s “alters” weren’t actually fully-fledged other personalities, but rather different, hidden aspects of oneself. Did that mean that Saeran  _ himself  _ was capable of such a horrific act? He didn’t think he could live with that.

 

Of course Saeyoung knew about what had happened. Saeran couldn’t very well call him at 11:00 at night, panicking and needing a ride home, without explaining why. His older brother had come right away, tearing down the streets in the modest sedan he’d leased after having to give up his collection of ostentatious sports cars, eyes wide with worry. At first he was concerned that  _ Saeran  _ had been hurt, but he’d gotten the whole, ugly truth, since there wasn’t much use in lying about it. Saeran didn’t deserve the comfort of lying about what he’d done. Saeyoung had tried to remain calm, tried to be logical about the whole thing, but the look in his eyes betrayed him; he was horrified by all of it. Still, he swore that he would protect his brother, make extra appointments with Saeran’s therapist to try and figure out what was going on and how to amend it. He made it clear that he wasn’t giving up on Saeran, because he knew that, at his core, Saeran was a good person. The younger twin didn’t quite agree with him.

 

He still worried that Saeyoung would hate him for it. After all, he’d tried to do something despicable, something so cruel and inhumane that few people even spoke the name of the act, finding all manner of euphemisms to distance themselves from it. Saeran always worried that eventually everyone would find out what kind of person he’d been back then, what kinds of things he’d done for Rika. Back then, he at least had a semblance of an excuse- that he’d been abused and manipulated by her. Now, anything he did could be considered his own choice. Saeran worried that Saeyoung would reconsider his decision to help him, that he would abandon him again. He’d been so good to Saeran since his return, feeding him and housing him and making sure he got the help that he needed, but what if he decided that Saeran didn’t deserve his help anymore, that he was beyond all hope? Saeyoung had  _ claimed  _ that he would continue to help Saeran, but what if he changed his mind? Who would help Saeran then? Did he even  _ deserve _ to be helped?

 

Saeran wished that he could talk to Momoka again, to try and explain what had happened, to try and express how deeply, terribly sorry he was. He didn’t dare, however; he knew that she wouldn’t want to speak to him after what he’d done. Saeyoung told him that even if she were willing to talk to him again in the future, she still needed some time now. Saeran needed to leave her alone, give her some space to process the experience and decide for herself whether she wanted to give him another chance to do right by her. Saeran hated that he’d thrown away his relationship with the one person that both understood what he’d been through, and still treated him like he was a “normal” person, rather than looking at him like he was some kind of dangerous animal, capable of losing his composure at any moment. Momo had never seemed wary of him like the others, but Saeran had lost that privilege.

 

The emergency meetings with his therapist seemed to do little to help. The psychologist had several theories for what type of psychosis might be underlying the problem, but he wasn’t ready to make a diagnosis quite yet. He wanted Saeran to undergo some sort of brain-mapping test so that a neurologist could study the variations in his brain structure that might suggest a specific cause. From there a psychiatrist could make a specific diagnosis, and prescribe a treatment plan. Saeran didn’t like the idea of seeing all of these different doctors, or undergoing all of these tests, but if it meant that he might avoid hurting other people in the future, he was willing to try. For now, he’d been given a mild sedative to keep him calm, to help him sleep, to try and prevent any outbursts of emotion that might trigger another dissociative episode. To Saeran, it felt like a tranquilizer dart being used on a zoo animal when it started to get too rowdy.

 

Then again, that was probably exactly what he deserved. When Saeyoung had first gotten him home that night, Saeran had been inconsolable, crying over and over again, “I’m a monster! I’m a monster!” Saeyoung kept repeating to him that that wasn’t true, that he was just sick, that he just needed help, but Saeran couldn’t believe him. In the end, his older brother had ended up having to force-feed him sleeping pills, just to stop the outburst. When he finally woke up, he felt numb, not leaving his bed for the whole day, refusing to eat, just as he had back in the hospital. Saeyoung worried that they might need to call a lawyer, in case Momoka decided to go to the police, but Saeran thought it would be fitting for him to end up in jail. It was where he belonged. Everyone told him that he wasn’t a monster, but Saeran knew that wasn’t the truth.

 

\---

 

When Monday arrived, three days after the attack, Momoka still felt shaken up about what had happened. She still triple-locked her door when she was home, still checked every closet in her apartment upon arrival. All she wanted was to feel safe in her own dwelling again. Despite all of this, she wasn’t quite as affected as one might think. Her years of battling her own psyche had made her quite resilient, and she’d already quit feeling sorry for herself and gone back to living as normal a life as she could. Of course, she still felt sad about how things had ended up. Saeran had been a good friend for a while, and she hated that things had gone the way they did. Part of her missed him, but the rest of her knew that she wasn’t safe around him anymore, that it wouldn’t be healthy to keep hanging out with someone who had tried to attack her so viscerally. 

 

Momoka hadn’t really talked to anyone over the weekend, other than the cashier at the grocery store, or her landlord when she’d gone to drop off her rent check. She had needed time to process the event, and she was still piecing together all of the details, as the whole thing had seemed a blur in the hours immediately following it. Besides, she wasn’t really  _ ready _ to talk about it yet. Of course, she could always  _ avoid  _ as a topic of conversation, but she knew that as soon as her weekend, or Saeran came up, it would all come pouring out. Momo never had been good at keeping secrets. She knew that she would have to tell her therapist about it, and she preferred for that to be the first person she told. In the end, she wasn’t really sure who she wanted to tell. It was kind of a private thing, but she did want her closest friends to know what she was going through.

 

Monday meant that Momoka would have to go to class, and she looked forward to the opportunity to get her hands back into the clay. It had always been sort of therapeutic for her; it required a certain level of concentration, and she could throw and stretch and shove all of her frustrations into it. After she finished, she could go home, and take a nice, long shower to wash her cares away along with the grey dust that settled in a fine layer over her skin. That same skin held tell-tale bruises where Saeran had grabbed her wrist, and then her throat. Momoka had chosen a turtleneck sweater today, which would cover the mark on her neck, and she could wear long latex gloves in class, claiming that she had a nasty cut on her hand, and she didn’t want the clay to get into it. Even if there was no shame in what had happened to her, she still didn’t want anyone and everyone to know about it. It wasn’t any business of theirs.

 

Momoka had spent a lot of time anticipating how today might go, but she hadn’t anticipated Won-Jae, sleepily heading back home from the kiln yard after a long night tending his fire. Even in his half-awake state, he recognized his adopted “little sister” and smiled. “Mornin’. Going to class?”

 

“Yep. I’ve got a lot of work to do.” Momo hoped that the interaction would pass quickly. She knew that she would have to tell Won-Jae about the incident, but she wasn’t ready to do that just yet. She knew that he would be angry, and she wanted to make sure to tell him at a time where she could calm him down, and he wouldn’t go stomping off with murder in his eyes.

 

Won-Jae frowned. “I thought you hated that sweater. You said that it was itchy.” He could tell that something was up, and Momo needed to come up with an excuse  _ fast _ .

 

“My neck was cold.”  _ Shit, that’s a terrible excuse.  _

 

He reached out to pull the wool away from her neck, eyes widening as he eyed the purple-y bruise. “Momoka, what  _ happened _ to you?”

 

“Nothing,” she said quickly, “It’s nothing.”

 

“It’s  _ not  _ nothing.” Won-Jae got quiet for a minute. “Did Saeran do this to you?” Momoka said nothing, staring down at her feet, mortified. “Did he…” Won-Jae lowered his voice to a whisper. “Did he  _ rape  _ you?”

 

Momoka didn’t say anything for a long time, not really sure how to explain things. “He...He tried to. I got away though.”

 

Won-Jae stood silently for a few minutes, just staring off into space. Momo knew what was coming next. He was usually an animated sort of person, but when he got angry, it was a quiet anger, the sort of silent rage that made a person’s hair stand on end. “I’m going to kill him,” he said finally, voice eerily steady.

 

“ _ Oppa _ , no. Don’t. Just leave it alone, okay?” Momo clutched at his shirt sleeve, desperate to keep things civil.

 

“He attacked you, Momoka. I can’t forgive that.”

 

“He’s  _ sick _ , Jae! You weren’t there!” Momo pleaded.

 

“Probably good that I wasn’t, or he’d already be dead.” He pulled his arm away, heading down the hallway, no longer sleepy. Momoka kept calling after him, not having wanted all of this to become a big to-do, but he never listened.

 

\---

 

To say that Won-Jae was furious would be an understatement. “Murderous rage” seemed a more appropriate descriptor, he thought. He’d been a little uneasy with the idea of Momoka dating someone, especially someone who’d just come back from a “traumatic experience,” but he’d believed that he was simply overreacting, that he was just being an overprotective “older brother” and he needed to let Momo make these decisions for herself. In the end, he’d been right, and she had paid the price for it.  _ “He’s  _ sick _ , Jae!” Yeah, he’s sick alright…  _ Deep down, Won-Jae didn’t  _ actually  _ intend to  _ kill  _ Saeran, but he had a mind to beat his ass halfway to next week. He wanted to make him feel as afraid and as powerless as Momoka had probably felt then, to make him understand  _ exactly  _ what he had done.  _ Touch her again, and next time, I  _ will  _ kill you.  _

 

Won-Jae stomped all the way down the hall from the elevator to the apartment where he knew those twins lived. He pounded his fist against the door, yelling to be let in. He could see a flash of color and movement, distorted through the peephole, but the occupants hesitated to let him inside. “Open the damn door! I know you’re home! And I know what you did!” When pummelling it with his fists didn’t accomplish anything, Won-Jae resorted to kicking the door instead, hoping that none of the neighbors would feel inclined to call the police. “At least have the balls to be a man and answer for what you’ve done!”

 

“I can’t let you in if you’re going to be violent,” a woman’s voice answered him. It had to be Mina, Saeyoung’s girlfriend. How could she continue to live here, complicit in her boyfriend’s brother’s actions?

 

“Don’t tell me  _ you’re  _ going to defend him too!”

 

“I’m not defending anyone,” Mina explained. “I just don’t want my home destroyed. If you can calm down, and handle this with words, I will let you in.”

 

Won-Jae thought it over for a minute. “Fine.” He couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t lose his cool if he got his hands on Saeran, but he needed for Mina to  _ open the damn door _ .

 

As soon as he got inside, Won-Jae jabbed a finger at the first redhead to enter his field of vision. “You. You  _ do  _ know what your brother did, right?”

 

“Yes,” Saeyoung replied sadly. “I know what he did. I’m very sorry for it.”

 

“You’re  _ sorry _ ?! You’re harboring a  _ rapist _ in your home!” Won-Jae clenched his fists, shaking as he resisted the urge to barrel through the house, searching for the little bastard.

 

“You don’t understand,” Saeyoung tried to explain. “He’s not well.”

 

“That’s not an excuse!”

 

“I know, but-”

 

“ _ There  _ he is!” Saeran had come out of his bedroom, hearing the commotion and not wanting Saeyoung to suffer the consequences of his actions. “Do you know why I’m here?” Won-Jae demanded.

 

Saeran couldn’t make eye contact with him, staring instead at his feet. “It’s because of what I did to Momoka.”

 

“What is  _ wrong  _ with you?!”

 

“I-I didn’t mean to!” Saeran stammered. “I wasn’t myself when it happened!”

 

“What do you mean you didn’t  _ mean  _ to?!”

 

“I-I’m s-sorry!” His voice cracked, tears pouring down his cheeks. “I’m so, so s-sorry!”

 

“You’re gonna be sorry-”

 

Won-Jae felt a hand grab the back of his shirt collar. “That’s enough, I think,” a voice said, too deep to be either of the Choi twins. “Come with me, please.” It wasn’t a request. Vanderwood pulled him back out the front door, closing it behind him and leaving Mina and Saeyoung to clean up the mess. “What do you think you’re doing?”

 

“W-What do I think I’m- Do you  _ know  _ what he did?” Won-Jae was certain he looked a mess in comparison the the cool, collected man in front of him, hair messy and glasses knocked askew.

 

“I am aware of the incident, and I do agree that Saeran’s behavior was inappropriate.”

 

“So you’re just gonna...let it go? He tried to-”

 

“I am fully aware of what he tried to do,” Vanderwood replied shortly. “And I’m  _ not  _ letting it go. There have been consequences.” He pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket, placing one in his mouth and lighting it. “However, beating the living daylights out of him isn’t going to resolve anything. You don’t have any idea what these boys have been through. Saeyoung and I are handling this. It is not your place to intervene.”

 

Won-Jae crossed his arms. “But what about Momoka?”

 

Vanderwood took another puff of his cigarette. “What about her? She’s a grown woman. If she wants to press charges, or come here and confront Saeran for what he did, she is more than capable of doing so.”

 

“But-”

 

“But what? This isn’t your battle to fight. Like I said before, we will handle this.”

 

Won-Jae ran his hands through his hair, sighing. He knew that he wasn’t going to win this fight. “Just promise me one thing, okay?”

 

“That depends. What do you want me to promise?” Vanderwood raised a well-groomed eyebrow.

 

“Keep him away from her.”

 

Vanderwood exhaled, fragrant smoke curling around him. “I think that would be best for both of them.”


	112. Older Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning for explicit sex.

“You are  _ such  _ a pillow prince!” Vanderwood snickered as he gave a little flick of his tongue against the underside of Won-Jae’s cock, making him tremble and whimper. 

 

“I am  _ not _ !” he whined pitifully, flicking his fingers against the top of Vanderwood’s head in frustration. “I’ll suck you off right now if you really want it so badly!”

 

“Ouch! Hey! You little shit!” Vanderwood smacked the side of Won-Jae’s thigh in retaliation before dipping his head down once more to fully cover the other man with his mouth, making him groan and prove Vanderwood’s point. “See? You love this!”

 

Won-Jae leaned up on his elbows, frowning. “Well,  _ yeah _ . Who doesn’t like to get their dick sucked? Just because I like receiving doesn’t mean I’m not willing to give too!”

 

“Funny how you phrase it as ‘being willing to’ as opposed to ‘liking doing it.’”

 

Won-Jae finally went quiet, not really having a good comeback for that. Instead, he lay there and let Vanderwood work his magic, giving the base of his cock slow, deep strokes as he sucked him gently, tongue working delicious little circles on the underside of the head, cheeks hollowing indecently.

 

He wasn’t  _ entirely  _ sure how they’d wound up like this, having been deep in a heated argument just a few hours ago. Somewhere along the way, that argument had led to civil discussion, and that civil discussion had led to Vanderwood saying something that made Won-Jae laugh. Vanderwood must have thought he looked cute, or something, because the next thing Won-Jae knew, Vanderwood was asking him if he wanted to go and get a cup of coffee. Casual chit-chat had led to deeper, more thoughtful conversation, which led into what had been, at the time, innocent flirtation. It had only devolved from there, suggestive questions turned into discovery of mutual  _ preferences _ , and that had been the gateway to serious discussion of  _ other  _ preferences...and now here they were, back in Won-Jae’s house, in his bed, with his hard cock in Vanderwood’s mouth.

 

“I’m gonna start prepping you, okay?” Vanderwood asked, coating his fingers with lubricant. Won-Jae nodded, and he resumed his oral gratification as he worked a first finger into the other man. Won-Jae accepted it easily, simply shifting his hips slightly to better accommodate to intrusion. After all, it wasn’t like he hadn’t done this before, and it wasn’t like he never put any sort of foreign object in his ass while jerking off. The second finger was very slightly uncomfortable, but he adjusted easily, relaxed by the slow rhythm with which Vanderwood moved his head up and down. Won-Jae knew that he was doing this purposefully, keeping him wildly aroused without pushing him over the edge. Vanderwood probably wanted to edge him for as long as possible until Won-Jae  _ begged  _ him to let him finish. He was just a  _ little bit sadistic  _ like that. He moved his hand away from the hardened flesh now, moving his head lower to really swallow the man whose hips had begun to slowly undulate along with the thrust of Vanderwood’s fingers.

 

He added one more, moving them a little more quickly now along with the bobbing of his head. He intentionally kept his fingering relatively shallow, deep enough to sufficiently stretch his partner, but not enough to reach the sensitive spot inside him. Nope. Vanderwood wasn’t ready to give him that just yet. Still, Won-Jae’s moans grew louder, the buck of his hips more sharp. Vanderwood could very well make him cum if he wanted to, but it was  _ so much more fun  _ to watch him squirm and whimper. He abruptly slowed his movements, making Won-Jae whine in protest. “What did you do that for?” he asked, his voice cracked and and hoarse.

 

“Not yet,” Vanderwood smirked, amused by the other’s pouting.

 

“I  _ knew  _ you were going to pull some shit like that…”

 

“Then why do you seem so surprised?” He raised his eyebrows gleefully. He was having too much fun with this, truly.

 

Won-Jae groaned, irritated. If he wanted more, it seemed that he would have to ask nicely. “Will you  _ please  _ fuck me now?”

 

“I’m surprised to hear you ask so politely.” Vanderwood’s mouth curled into a wicked grin, and he stood up from his present position on his knees, removing the pants and underwear that he still wore, folding them neatly on a nearby chair along with the other clothing that he’d already removed, not wanting them to get dirty. By the time he was finished, his partner was sure to be an absolute mess. Vanderwood climbed onto the bed, laying on his back and motioning for Won-Jae to come and mount him as he reached for the previously-discarded lubricant.

 

“Oh, you want me to…”

 

“What, did you think I was just going to let you lay back as I did all the work?” Vanderwood clucked disapprovingly, earning a growl of exasperation from Won-Jae, who was suddenly eager to straddle him, waving a condom in Vanderwood’s face.

 

“You gotta wrap it before you tap it.”

 

“Yes, of course.” He studied the other man’s confused expression. “Well, get on with it!”

 

Won-Jae groaned again. “I have to everything myself, huh?” He was a little high-maintenance, and more than a little high-strung, but Vanderwood found it amusing, and rather endearing. He did as he was told, applying the protective rubber film along with a generous coat of lubricant before lining Vanderwood up with his opening. He sank down onto him, a deep sigh escaping from the depths of his belly as he felt himself stretched open. It didn’t hurt him, as Vanderwood had done a good job preparing him, but the first intrusion always felt just slightly strange before the pleasure began.

 

He began to roll his hips like Vanderwood wanted, drawing a low, pleasant hum from the other man, suddenly much less sarcastic and sadistic now that he was on the receiving end of the stimulation. He reached up to caress Won-Jae’s cheek, brushing a few stray hairs away from his face. “You’re very cute,” he mused, more affectionate now.

 

Won-Jae blushed, feeling much more shy when Vanderwood acted like this. He wasn’t used to people doting on him, but he did like it, even as it made his heart flutter nervously. “Does it feel good?” he asked, his voice coming out much softer than it normally did.

 

“Mmhmm.” Vanderwood let one hand explore Won-Jae’s body lazily, trailing over his chest and down his thigh. “Come here.” He patted his own chest, and Won-Jae lay down against him while Vanderwood took over the movement, thrusting his hips gently and slowly. He didn’t want this to just be a random, quick, one-off fuck. He was quickly growing fond of the other man, and he wanted to savor this for a while.

 

Still, he didn’t want Won-Jae to get bored, so he began to increase his pace, gripping Won-Jae’s ass with both hands as he searched for that sensitive spot inside him. This already felt quite nice for Vanderwood; he wanted the other man to enjoy it as well. He found the spot quite easily, and Won-Jae melted into a needy puddle, trembling and whimpering as he lay there like a slug, his only defense. Vanderwood grabbed him by the back of the neck, pressing his mouth to his partner’s, feeling the vibrations of the other’s pleasured sounds echoing into his mouth as he forced Won-Jae’s mouth open, deepening the kiss. Kissing such a cute, feisty man excited him further, and he absently increased the pacing of his thrusts, grunting in exertion and enjoyment. Won-Jae’s thighs had started to shake by now, and he rutted backward as best he could to match Vanderwood’s rhythm, though it was a rather sloppy movement due to his positioning. Still, Vanderwood found it rather erotic to be wanted so badly, to bring another person so much enjoyment.

 

Neither of them would last much longer, clearly. He was surprised to find that Won-Jae was  _ such  _ a moaner. Then again, he was so vocal the rest of the time, why would this be any different? “V-Vanderwood…” he whined, cock aching. “I’m close.”

 

Vanderwood raked a hand through the other man’s deep brown hair and down his back, thrusting more sharply to help push him over the edge. “Me too. You can go ahead and cum if you want to.”

 

Won-Jae frowned, pouting even as his heavy blush betrayed him. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.” Vanderwood immediately slowed to a stop, making him cry out in protest. “Why did you do that?!”

 

“It seems you do need my permission after all.” Vanderwood smiled wolfishly. “Do you want to cum?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes  _ what _ ?”

 

Won-Jae groaned, rolling his eyes. “Yes  _ please _ .”

 

“Very well.” Vanderwood resumed his rough thrusting, pushing the other man past the point of no return, making him spill his mess onto both of them as he rutted against Vanderwood desperately, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes from sheer delight. Vanderwood followed close behind, hips stilling suddenly as a sharp pant escaped him.

 

Neither of them moved for a few minutes, too content and enamored with one another to worry about the mess or their now-awkward position. Eventually Won-Jae rolled off, still flushed and breathing heavily as he gazed at Vanderwood with a wry grin.

 

“You like that?” Vanderwood smirked, amused at how the other man had finally gone quiet.

 

“Yeah. A lot, actually.”

 

“You know…” he turned over to look at Won-Jae more seriously. “I actually want to keep seeing you, and not just for sex.”

 

Won-Jae smirked, his playfully sarcastic nature starting to return. “Are you asking me out?”

 

“What would you say if I was?”

 

He leaned over to kiss Vanderwood again, cupping his face affectionately. “I’d say I’m free on Thursday.”

 

“Thursday it is,” Vanderwood grinned, pulling him over to lay against him.

 

Though he appeared rather content, Won-Jae still seemed to have something on his mind, staring off into space and frowning. Vanderwood could see the small lines forming between his knit eyebrows, his bottom lip sticking out ever so slightly. “What’s on your mind?” he asked finally, breaking the other man’s reverie.

 

Won-Jae acted startled, and a little embarrassed to have been caught zoning out. “Ah- it’s uh, nothing. It’s nothing. He gave a sheepish smile, hoping to convince the man lying next to him.

 

Vanderwood wasn’t buying it. “It’s not nothing. Are you still worried about Momoka?”

 

“Is it that obvious?”

 

“Not so much obvious as it is understandable,” he explained, reaching for his pack of cigarettes. “You’re the closest thing that girl has to a family. Of course you’d be upset by what happened.”

 

“Are you sure…” Won-Jae bit his lip. “Are you sure that it’s going to be taken care of?”

 

Vanderwood sighed. He knew that this was a difficult thing, and that Won-Jae had every right to be upset. He did feel bad about what had happened to that poor girl, and was making every effort to help Saeyoung fix things. “Saeyoung and I are doing everything that we can. I promise you that Saeran  _ does  _ feel bad for what he did, and he’s been compliant with his psychologist about trying to find what caused this, and treat it. That one incident isn’t who he is, I promise. I’m not trying to downplay what he did, but…”

 

“But he’s sick, right? It was a psychological thing.”

 

“We think so. You’ve met him; you know how quiet and timid he is.” Vanderwood sighed deeply. “I don’t want to say too much, because it’s not my place to do so, but he’s had a very difficult life so far, fraught with trauma. I feel bad for him, because he really is trying his best.”

 

“You really are like an older brother to those two, huh?” Won-Jae smirked.

 

“Against my better judgment, yes. They need someone to make sure they don’t get into  _ too  _ much trouble.”

 

“Oh? And who’s going to make sure  _ you  _ don’t get into trouble?” Won-Jae’s hands began to wander, roaming over Vanderwood’s muscular form.

 

“I think I can handle things myself,  _ pillow prince _ .”

 

“I’ll show you a fuckin’ pillow prince,” Won-Jae retorted, flipping Vanderwood over onto his stomach and grabbing a handful of ass. “Just you fuckin’ wait.”

 

\---

 

Almost a week had passed since Saeran had attacked her, and Momoka still felt understandably shaken. It wasn’t so much that she still felt unsafe as much as the whole thing still seemed so  _ unreal _ . How could sweet Saeran have done something like that? Won-Jae was all worked up about the whole thing too. Apparently, he’d gone storming over to the twins’ apartment, huffing and puffing, a mental image that made her cringe. Saeran hadn’t tried to contact her since that night, and it was probably for the best. She still needed the space, and she wanted to believe that it was because she’d get too angry hearing his voice, and not because she felt the slightest bit inclined to forgive him. He  _ was  _ sick, after all. At the same time, it didn’t excuse his actions, and until he got these violent alternates under control, he was still potentially dangerous. The whole situation was just so complicated; it made Momo’s head hurt.

 

She had told her friends about it during their weekly B&B session, if only to get their perspectives. Chae-Young was more than sympathetic, having been a victim of abuse herself for several years. She was pretty adamant that Momoka needed to take care of herself, even if that meant forcing Saeran out of her life. Yoosung was more shocked than anything, surprised that Saeyoung’s brother was capable of doing something so horrible. In the end, they couldn’t really give Momo any advice on what she should do, seeing as she would know better than anyone what was best for her. They hadn’t been there, they said, so they couldn’t understand the fine nuance of the event, what motivated Saeran to act out, how he’d responded afterward. All her friends could really do was offer her support in whatever decision she ended up making.

 

Momoka’s therapist didn’t give her a solid answer, either. Ultimately, she said, it was up to Momoka whether she allowed Saeran back into her life, though she did recommend doing so slowly, if at all. She also confirmed what Momo already knew, that going so far, so fast with Saeran had been a poor decision, that the sudden shift in their relationship had likely triggered something within his psyche, drawing out the negative aspects of his past. If Momoka hoped to have any kind of future relationship with Saeran that didn’t end painfully, she would need to take things much more slowly, searching for signals that he was  _ actually  _ ready for this or that. Momo had been in recovery a lot longer than he had, so she needed to be the voice of reason here, looking out for someone much more vulnerable than herself. The takeaway was that she should only pursue the relationship when she felt safe doing so, and only take things as far as was healthy for both of them.

 

Though she still felt angry and upset about what he’d done, Momoka did miss the good parts of Saeran. She missed the sweet, gentle kind of person that he was normally; she’d felt completely safe and secure being with him before that night. Their personalities meshed well, and she felt hesitant to completely cut ties with someone who complimented her so well. However, she was still wary of him despite this. She didn’t know what sort of thing might trigger him again, and, as had been demonstrated before, she didn’t know how to handle him when his personality shifted. If Saeran was still seeing a therapist, they might be able to give advice that Momo could use, assuming she did start hanging out with him again. Saeran was a man of extremes; the good in him was very good, but the bad was, well,  _ bad _ . 

 

Should she forgive Saeran, or not? Momoka had long been frustrated with the question; thinking about it took up way too much of her time. One one hand, it wasn’t his fault that he was like this. The trauma he had endured had fractured his personality, different emotions manifesting as separate personas. Saeran hadn’t  _ chosen  _ this effect, and he hadn’t wanted to hurt her. It was accidental, a casualty of Rika’s abuse. On the other hand, Momoka couldn’t ignore what had been done. Saeran had tried to hurt her, whether he meant to do so or not. He knew about these “others,” but he hadn’t ever disclosed them, ultimately putting his friend in danger. Though, he wasn’t exactly  _ obligated  _ to talk about it any more than Momo was to tell him about her history of self-harm. It was a personal thing, and he’d probably thought that the switching wouldn’t happen anymore, now that he was safe at home with his brother. He’d been wrong, but he probably just didn’t know any better.

 

It was all just so overwhelming- so many decisions to be made and all of them up to Momoka. She didn’t know how in the world she’d be able to figure it all out. She’d already grown tired of thinking about it, and wished she could leave the choice up to someone else. How could she be expected to decide when her wounds were still so raw? Maybe her tarot cards would be a little more insightful than everyone else. Maybe Saeran would eventually reach out to her and they could actually discuss things. Maybe she just needed some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It really took every ounce of willpower I possess not to call this chapter "When God Closes a Door, He Opens an Asshole"
> 
> If you really enjoy this dumpster fire, you can keep up with my daily adventures over on tumblr @ dumpster-owl


	113. Diagnosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Saeran talks about his trauma A LOT in this chapter, so be warned that there's going to be extensive discussion about sexual trauma and anxiety. It's a difficult one but at least our boy is on the road to recovery.

“Your symptoms are consistent with a condition called Dissociative Identity Disorder,” Dr. Park explained, reviewing the notes scribbled on the yellow legal pad on his lap.

 

_ So that’s what it’s called.  _ After weeks of extensive testing, and of beating himself up over the episode he’d had the last time he saw Momoka, Saeran finally had a name for it. He could understand what was happening to him, and he could treat it. All of that testing had been worth it, he supposed, though it had been unpleasant. They’d hooked him up with electrodes to scan his brain while they forced him into a dissociative state to confirm that these alternative personalities actually existed, that he wasn’t just making it all up.  _ “Why would I make it up?!”  _ Did they honestly think that he was just trying to make an excuse for what he did? In any case, “Ray” had manifested for them, apparently, frightened by what was being done to him, but compliant as ever. Of course, Saeran couldn’t remember. He always had memory loss when one of those other two took over.

 

“So...what does that  _ mean _ , exactly?” he asked, slightly nervous about his prognosis.

 

“What Dissociative Identity Disorder, or D.I.D.  _ is _ , is a condition where you have your ‘main personality,’ like the one you’re presenting right now, but you also have other, alternate personalities that are different, which can take control of you, and you won’t know that it’s happening,” Dr. Park explained.

 

“So I have multiple personalities?” Saeran didn’t like the idea of his alters being an essential part of his identity.

 

“Not exactly. The scientific community doesn’t use the term ‘multiple personality disorder’ anymore because it’s not quite accurate. D.I.D. is more the  _ fragmentation  _ of identity- different aspects of a person splinter off due to trauma.”

 

“And  _ I  _ have it because of trauma?” Saeran never expected that he would react to his experiences in such an extreme way.

 

“Yes. Most patients report a history of physical or sexual abuse during childhood. Your mother was violent with you when you were very young, and then Rika continued that pattern, albeit in a different way. You were tortured, and drugged by her, and you said that she raped you, along with many of the other members of her cult.”

 

Saeran swallowed hard; this wasn’t exactly a fond memory for him. “Yeah.”

 

Dr. Park continued on. “We’ve talked a lot about how you’re still remembering things from Mint Eye, since you spent so much of your time there in a dissociative state. This was how your brain tried to protect itself from the emotional trauma, by compartmentalizing it as something that only  _ Ray  _ had to deal with, or  _ Bad Saeran _ , because the idea of those things being done to you, or committing crimes at Rika’s request, was too hard on the  _ real  _ you.”

 

“How is this going to affect, you know, my  _ life _ ?”

 

“Well, it is going to take some time for us to figure out the best way to treat your case, but I actually think your prognosis is better than it is for a lot of others. From what we’ve seen, your personality only switches when triggered by something that takes you back to your traumatic background, and it only happens when you’re  _ severely  _ upset.” Dr. Park cleared his throat, looking back at his thick stack of notes on Saeran. “You’ve told me that you have panic attacks sometimes, but that you’ve only had  _ one  _ dissociative episode since leaving Mint Eye. I think that bodes extremely well.”

 

“But what I  _ did _ then…” Saeran shook his head. “I can’t risk letting that happen again!”

 

“The best way to minimize your episodes is to figure out what your triggers are, and avoid them. If the episodes happen this rarely, I think it’s very possible for you to avoid those triggers most of the time.” The therapist looked up, seeing that his patient still seemed distraught.

 

His therapist seemed assured that he would be able to live a relatively normal life, but Saeran was a bit more skeptical. Sure, his dissociative episodes were rare, but when they happened, he could be violent, and do  _ unthinkable _ things. He didn’t like the idea that the people he cared about would always be at risk because of him. Yes, Saeyoung knew how to handle him when he was like that, but what about Momoka? What about Mina, or the rest of Saeyoung’s friends? “Ray” and “Bad Saeran” would only drive everyone away from him. Of course, Saeran himself could be in danger if his personality flipped in the wrong place at the wrong time, but he didn’t really care about that as much. Hurting other people, or pushing them away so that he was all alone again, seemed so much worse in comparison. 

 

“What is it, Saeran?”

 

“No one will want to be around me if they find out about  _ them _ . They’ll be afraid of me, and maybe they should be. I just…” Saeran wrung his hands nervously. “I don’t want to be alone again.”

 

“I don’t think you need to worry about that,” Dr. Park reassured him. “There are several methods we can use to treat your condition, and with therapy, there may come a time when you can face your triggers without having such a severe reaction.”

 

“Seriously? We can do that?”

 

“It will take some time, but yes, that is a possibility down the road. Just as your brain learned its current set of thoughts and behaviors for coping, it can unlearn them. It will be difficult, because these patterns are deeply internalized, but if you are willing to put in the effort, it is doable.”

 

“It’ll probably be hard, right?” Retraining one’s brain didn’t exactly sound like an easy task, but if it would ultimately make his life better, he was willing to give it his best shot.

 

“Very,” the psychologist warned. “You  _ will  _ have to confront the things that were done to you, because you’re going to have to process them. Otherwise, you’ll just keep them buried inside where they’ll continue to haunt you for the rest of your life. You might have to expose yourself to things that make you very uncomfortable, so that you might change the way you think about them. We have a lot of difficult conversations ahead of us.”

 

Saeran swallowed hard, nodding. “Okay.”

 

“This process…” Dr. Park went on, “...is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The first thing we will do is identify your negative thoughts and behaviors, and determine  _ why  _ you think and behave the way you do. Once we find the cause, we can work on replacing those negative responses with neutral, or even positive ones. You will have to do this consciously, as your natural response will be to continue your current patterns. Eventually, you will be able to react to specific situations and emotional stressors in a more  _ healthy  _ way. In addition, I am going to recommend that your psychiatrist prescribe an antidepressant in addition to the clonazepam to help balance your mood.”

 

“When should we start this...what did you call it?”

 

“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or C.B.T. for short. We still have quite a bit of time left in your session today, so we can go ahead and start, if you’re feeling up to it.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Great! Now, like I said before, we’re going to have to talk about some difficult memories in order to identify your provocative stimuli,” the therapist warned.

 

“Like what?”

 

“I think it would be good for us to try and identify what caused your most recent dissociative episode. We need to talk about what happened with your friend, Momoka.”

 

Saeran shifted uncomfortably. Up until now, he’d managed to be vague about the incident, discreetly leaving out the more sensitive details of what they’d been doing beforehand, and what he had tried to do once “Ray” or “Bad Saeran” took over. He worried that Dr. Park would be rather revolted by the details of it, though he assured his patient that he’d heard much, much worse.

 

“Can you walk me through the evening, as much as you can remember?”   
  


“Well...it started when I went to a show that she was having at her university, and I was kind of grouchy because I didn’t really get to spend much time with her, because this one guy kept bothering her all night. After the show was over, we were gonna go and get coffee, and she could tell that I was upset. I told her what I was feeling, and…” Saeran paused, a little embarrassed to be sharing something that felt so private to him. “I told her that I liked her, and I kissed her.”

 

“How did she respond to that?”

 

“She kissed me back, because she felt the same way.”

 

“Did things escalate from there?”

 

Saeran blushed at the memory. “Y-Yeah. We still went to get coffee, but I think both of us just wanted to hurry up and get back to her place. We were fooling around, and then the next thing I know, I’m on the floor and I can’t remember anything and Momo’s standing there with a knife in her hand trying to keep me away from her and yelling at me to leave.”

 

“What exactly do you mean by ‘fooling around?’” Dr. Park asked. “I know this is probably embarrassing to talk about, but we need to get into the details of what happened directly prior to your episode so that we can identify the trigger.”

 

“Well...we were kissing a lot…” Saeran groaned, mortified to be discussing  _ this  _ with his therapist. “She was wearing this dress that wrapped around the front and tied closed- she undid it so that I could touch her chest…”

 

“How did you feel while this was happening?”

 

“Excited? Happy? I guess...affectionate toward her?”

 

“That’s good. Those are  _ positive _ emotions to have in that scenario. What happened next?”

 

Saeran felt his face growing hotter. “I uh, I put my fingers inside her. She liked that; I could tell that it felt good for her.”

 

“Did you bring her to orgasm?”

 

_ Why would you ask that?!  _ “I-I think so.”

 

“How did you feel at that point?”

 

“About the same? Happy that she was enjoying it.”

 

“What was the next thing that happened?”

 

Saeran wanted to sink right into the floor. “She uh- she did the same thing f-for me. I mean, she didn’t put her fingers in me or anything, but she uh, you know...with her hand…”

 

“She stimulated you manually.”

 

“Y-Yes.”

 

“Did you enjoy it?”

 

Saeran sighed, frustrated by how  _ embarrassingly specific  _ this was getting. “Yeah.”

 

“Did you have an orgasm?”

 

“...Yeah.”

 

“And what happened after that?”

 

Saeran sat up straight in his chair, realizing that he didn’t  _ remember  _ what happened next. His first memory after that was coming out of his dissociative episode, confused and disoriented. “I-I don’t know. I think that’s when it started.”

 

Dr. Park seemed to have come to a conclusion that Saeran was still missing. “Have you been sexual with anyone besides Momoka since returning home?”

 

“No. She’s the only one. Why?”

 

“I have another question for you, but please don’t take it the wrong way. I promise that it’s relevant.”

 

Saeran was skeptical. “What is it?”

 

“How frequently do you masturbate?”

 

Saeran reeled backward awkwardly, mortified by the question. “Do I really need to answer that?”

 

“It’ll make sense in a minute, I promise. Of course, you don’t have to answer if you  _ really  _ don’t want to, but it might help answer some questions,” Dr. Park assured him, looking as nonchalant as ever, like he  _ hadn’t  _ just asked a terribly bizarre question.

 

“I...don’t.”

 

“A vast majority of men your age do,  _ especially  _ if they don’t regularly engage in sexual activity with another person. Can you tell me  _ why  _ you choose not to?”

 

Saeran thought about it for a minute, never having really considered why he didn’t like to do  _ that _ . “I guess...it’s because I don’t like how I feel afterward?”

 

“How  _ do  _ you feel afterward?”

 

“Disgusted, maybe?” Saeran said after a few moments of silence. “Ashamed. Guilty?”

 

“It’s very common for survivors of sexual abuse to feel disgust or aversion toward sexual behavior, but shame and guilt are a little less common. What about it makes you feel that way?”

 

“I guess...I just feel like I’m not  _ supposed  _ to enjoy it.”

 

“Hmm…” Dr. Park tilted his head, thinking. “Saeran...this might be painful to think about, and talk about, but I need you to try and remember back when you were at Mint Eye, when you were raped, did you ever have an orgasm  _ during  _ the abuse, even though you didn’t like what was being done to you?”

 

Saeran got very still, and very quiet, a collage of unpleasant memories flooding him all at once. His voice cracked when he finally spoke. “Y-Yes.” He covered his mouth with his hand, tears starting to run down his cheeks. “Oh god...I didn’t want to, but…”

 

The psychologist passed him a box of tissues. “That happens during rape much more often than you think. It doesn’t mean that you liked it, or that you consented; it’s just a physiological reaction to stimuli. I think the sensation of orgasm might be a trigger for you, especially when you’re brought to that point by another person.”

 

Saeran felt dizzy; how was he supposed to deal with something like this? Would he end up having an episode  _ every time  _ he was with someone? How could he ever expect to have a real relationship if every sexual interaction resulted in a post-coital breakdown? He couldn’t imagine making someone deal with that. Saeran had still been holding on to hope that maybe he and Momoka could patch things up, but he could never put this on her, not after she’d already been hurt by it once. He  _ wanted  _ to be able to have a healthy relationship,  _ wanted  _ to be able to have sex without hurting someone or feeling terrible about himself afterward. “Am I… Am I going to be like this  _ forever _ ? Am I never going to be able to have sex like a  _ normal  _ person?” Saeran was panicking now, but Dr. Park held up a hand to get his attention.

 

“Before you get too worked-up, it is  _ absolutely  _ possible for you to get to a point where you can be sexually active without being re-traumatized. At the same time, please keep in mind that sex is not a requirement to having a happy and loving relationship. Not wanting, or not being able to have sex will not prevent you from ever having long-term romantic relationships. But if you  _ want  _ to make this part of your recovery, I think there’s a good chance that you can do so successfully. Is it going to take time? Yes. Is it going to require a conscious effort on your part? Yes.”

 

“How will that happen?” Saeran asked, feeling more calm now.

 

“Like I said before, we will need to change the way your brain reacts to sex emotionally. It will be a gradual process, since you’ve internalized the feelings that you currently have about it, but over time, you’ll catch yourself reacting to it in a certain way, and you’ll self-correct. Eventually, you can get to a point where the new,  _ positive  _ response is automatic.”

 

“How can I start...doing that?”

 

“Here’s what I want you to do.” Dr. Park set aside his notepad and adjusted his glasses. “Whenever you have a sexual thought, and you have a negative response to that thought, I want you to remind yourself that it’s perfectly normal, and healthy, and that you shouldn’t feel guilty for having it.”

 

“I-I think I can do that.”

 

“Furthermore, if the situation arises where you have the urge to masturbate, or otherwise engage in sexual fantasy, do it. Allow yourself to experience that pleasure, and afterward, if you start to have unpleasant feelings, give yourself the same reminder that I mentioned before. Remember that you deserve that kind of gratification if you desire it, and that if it’s something you  _ want  _ to enjoy it, then its healthy, and normal to do so. Write down these positive affirmations if it helps to have the reminder, or remind yourself verbally.”

 

Saeran cringed inwardly, still not totally on board with all of this talk about  _ masturbation _ , but he was relieved all the same by the idea that he  _ could  _ get better, that he wasn’t doomed to a life where certain activities that he wanted to like sent him into a dissociative spiral. Furthermore, Dr. Park’s suggestions actually sounded relatively easy. Just because Saeran chose to abstain, didn’t mean that he didn’t  _ have  _ a sex drive. If he could change the way he thought about all of that, it would make everything so much easier. He could have that kind of relationship with someone without risking harming them, and he could be sexual without all of the anxiety that normally surrounded it for him. For the first time since his episode, Saeran actually felt hopeful for the future he might have. It was a cautious optimism, but optimism all the same.

 

\---

 

After seeing how emotionally-drained the session had left his twin brother, Saeyoung had taken Saeran to a garden shop on the way home, to let him pick out a new plant. The purple orchid now rested happily in in window, sunbeams reaching through the window to land on its leaves as Saeran lay in bed trying to rest. A thought had struck him on the way home, and the more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became. He was the way he was now due to his trauma; that much was obvious. However, he’d only been put through most of that trauma due to Rika’s selfishness and unbridled cruelty. Yes, his and Saeyoung’s mother had been a violent alcoholic who probably never should have had children in the first place, but had the two of them been able to run away together, Saeran could probably have had a much easier recovery process. After all, lots of people had shitty parents. He’d long accepted that Saeyoung hadn’t  _ intentionally  _ sent him to a place where he’d be tortured and brainwashed, that he really had made the choice that he thought was best; this wasn’t  _ really  _ his brother’s fault. It was Rika’s. Everything she did to hurt others was a choice she made consciously. Was she sick? Yes, but she had also declined every opportunity to seek treatment, and Saeran and V had suffered the consequences of that most heavily. Rika had  _ chosen  _ to hurt other people, without any regard for how it would affect them in the long run. She was a selfish, narcissistic,  _ evil  _ person, using and abusing Saeran for as long as he was useful to her, and then tossing him aside without a second thought.

  
Rika had done all of these things, and now she thought she was just gonna fuck off and never actually answer for what she’d done, never have to  _ live  _ with what she’d done to other people. Yes, she was currently awaiting trial, and the evidence against her was so overwhelming that she most likely would end up in prison, but she wouldn’t have to explicitly face the people that she’d hurt, except maybe in court. That didn’t seem quite fair to Saeran. She  _ deserved  _ to know what she’d done, the  _ evil  _ she’d birthed into the world. Maybe she wouldn’t care, and maybe Saeran just wanted the opportunity to purge his anger toward her, but he deserved a chance to have the last word, goddammit! There’d been a time when he wouldn’t have been able to bear seeing her, but now he wanted to. He wanted to face her, and look her in the eyes, and communicate to her in no uncertain terms the pain she’d caused him. Facing the woman who had tortured him, brainwashed him, raped him, might simply be another step toward healing.


	114. Facing Demons

\---

Because Rika had committed such serious felonies, and was currently being held in a maximum-security psychiatric facility as she awaited trail, it had taken extensive string-pulling on Saeyoung and Jumin’s part to arrange a visitation. Saeran would be able to see her as he had hoped, but it would be for a very short period of time, with a member of the facility’s security team present. Still, he would be able to say everything that he wanted, make it explicit to Rika just how harmful her choices had been. He had been thinking almost constantly about what he wanted to tell her, writing his thoughts down and rehearsing them in front of a mirror, since he knew that being around her again would inevitably make him anxious. Saeran needed to be able to say his piece without having a panic attack or a nervous breakdown, which would only embarrass him and Saeyoung, and make him look weak. He wanted Rika to know how strong he had become since being rescued, and being removed from her toxic influence.

 

Saeyoung popped the trunk of his car so that Saeran could put his overnight bag inside. The facility where Rika was being kept was located a few hours away, and their meeting with her would be early in the morning, so they would be staying overnight in a nearby hotel. Saeran had never stayed in a hotel before, so he felt rather curious about it. “Do you have everything?” Saeyoung asked as Mina came over to give him a hug and kiss goodbye.

 

Saeran nodded. “I think so.”

 

“Well, they’ll have soap at the hotel if you forgot to pack it. It just might smell weird.” Saeyoung knew that his brother was oddly particular about these kinds of things, since it was something in his life that he could actually control. When he’d first come home to live with his brother, Saeran had been delighted to find that he could shower every day if he wanted, five times a day if he liked. It made Saeyoung cringe every time he discovered some bleak new detail about life at Mint Eye.

 

“Be safe, guys. Love you.” Mina waved them off, anxious to see what kind of trouble she could get into while they were gone.

 

Saeyoung had initially been hesitant to allow Saeran to see Rika. It had only been about four months now since his return, and since Saeran had begun treatment. Saeyoung worried that this would be too much of an emotional strain on his brother, that it would re-traumatize him and potentially cause him to have another episode. He knew that he could handle things if that happened, but he worried that it would be too hard on Saeran; he’d already been through so much, especially with his recent difficulties. Still, the two of them had discussed the idea with Saeran’s therapist, Dr. Park, who hadn’t been opposed to it, assuming that the idea had come from Saeran himself. He believed that they needed to trust Saeran to a certain extent regarding what he could and couldn’t handle, that, despite his troubled past, he  _ was  _ an adult and needed to start learning how to make decisions for himself. Saeyoung still worried, but he agreed, ready to stop things in the event that his younger brother changed his mind about this.

 

Saeran would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel nervous about seeing Rika again. After all, she  _ had  _ tortured, brainwashed, and abused him to the point where he had to completely relearn how to function in society, and how to relate to others. He didn’t  _ like  _ the idea of seeing her, of talking to her, but he knew that sometimes unpleasant things had to be done in pursuit of personal growth. Saeran wondered which mask Rika would choose to wear tomorrow. Would she be the bright, bubbly young woman she so often displayed to the outside world, Mint Eye’s cruel dictator, or the same listless, ambivalent shell that she’d been when she left the hospital. If she was still on the medications prescribed to try and tame the darkness inside her, then she would likely be grim, to say the least. Saeran didn’t know if he would be able to sleep well tonight from the sheer anticipation, even with the clonazepam given to him as a sleep aid. The worst part of this was not knowing what to expect.

 

“Are you feeling nervous about tomorrow?” Saeyoung asked, glancing over at Saeran as he kept his eyes mostly trained on the road.

 

“A little bit.”

 

“Listen, if you end up changing your mind-”

 

“I still want to go.” Saeran interrupted.

 

“I know, I know. I’m just saying that if at any point, you decide that it’s too much to handle, just tell me, and we’ll come right home, okay?” Saeyoung wondered if he might be acting a tad neurotic, but if there ever was a time to be that way, this was it. His brother would soon be face to face with the woman who had tormented him for  _ years _ , and it was bound to be a painful experience. He didn’t want to seem like he was babying Saeran, but it was hard not be be just a little protective.

 

Saeran offered a smile to his worried brother. “Okay, I’ll tell you. But I need to do this. I need to stand up to her.”

 

“Hey, I get it, and I’m proud of you for wanting to do this. You’re really brave, Saeran.”

 

“You really think so?” Saeran hadn’t thought about it like that at all. He just wanted to finally confront Rika about what she’d done, so that he could keep moving forward with his life.”

 

“Yeah, I really do.” The two of them sat quietly for a few minutes, the silence permeated only by the quiet hum of Saeyoung’s car. “Is there anything else I can do to make this easier?”

 

Saeran shook his head. “Just having you there with me helps. You don’t have to worry about me so much,  _ Hyung _ .”

 

Saeyoung could have melted right into his seat. He and Saeran’s relationship had slowly begun to mend, and things were much more amicable between them now, but this was the first time Saeran had used the term of endearment since before being left with Rika. “But I do worry. Can’t help it.”

 

“Because it’s what older brothers do, right?” Saeran rolled his eyes playfully.

 

“That’s exactly right.”

 

“Well...do what you have to, I guess.” The younger twin still wasn’t quite used to people worrying over him, caring about him with no ulterior motives, but he supposed it wasn’t so bad. “ _ Hyung _ ?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Do you think Momo will ever forgive me for what I did?” Saeran didn’t really like opening up about his feelings, especially to someone he’d spent so many years hating, but he figured it was probably healthy to learn how, even if it was uncomfortable at times.

 

Saeyoung sighed as he thought it over. “It’s hard to say. Everyone knows that you didn’t mean to hurt her, but the thing is- you did. I didn’t mean to hurt you by leaving you all alone with Rika, but I did. And it’s taken time for you to forgive me, right?”

 

“But you didn’t know.”

 

“I know, I know. It’s not a perfect analogy. I’m just saying that even when people  _ do  _ choose to forgive, it can take a while. I’m not saying that it’ll never happen, but what you did still affected her, even if it was an accident.”

 

“You’re right. Until then, I guess I’ll just keep waiting and getting better, so that I don’t do the same thing all over again. If I’m lucky enough to get another chance to be her friend, I don’t want to waste it.” 

 

\---

 

Saeran stared at himself in the mirror as the time drew closer for his and Saeyoung’s meeting with Rika. The natural red color of his hair had largely taken over what was once a stark, silvery white, a reminder of his return to his true self.

 

“It’s almost time,” Saeyoung warned from the other side of the bathroom door. Without another thought, Saeran grabbed his shirt from its place on the counter, stuffing his arms through the sleeves, covering the large, black tattoo which marked a large area from his shoulder down nearly to his elbow. He’d been thinking lately about getting it removed, but such a procedure was expensive. He knew that if he mentioned it, Saeyoung would immediately offer to cover the cost, but Saeran wanted to be able to pay for it himself. He wanted to be able to pay for a lot of things himself; he couldn’t wait until he was stable enough to find work, or maybe try to get an education. Though Saeyoung never tried to hold it over him, or make him feel guilty about it, Saeran still felt bad about relying on him for so much- a place to live, food to eat, clothes, health care expenses...the list went on and on. Saeran shook his head, trying to get rid of the negative thoughts. He was going through a rough time right now, and he deserved to be able to rely on others who wanted to help him. He shouldn’t ever feel guilty for accepting help when he needed it.

 

Other than the high, barbed-wire fences, and the two watchtowers at the far edges of the property, the psychiatric facility looked a lot like any other hospital, though the patients it held were far different than what one would expect.  _ A high-security detention center for the criminally-insane.  _ Saeyoung couldn’t help reconsidering his decision to bring Saeran here, even if he didn’t voice his hesitation to his brother. Yoosung would be upset if he knew that they had come here, that they had seen Rika, without him. However, Saeyoung thought it would be better that he didn’t see her like this again, especially now that the heavy doses of sedatives had stripped her of her usual vitality. He seemed to be doing well, making good grades and maintaining an active social life.  _ Getting laid on the reg probably isn’t hurting, either.  _ After the things Rika had said to him at Mint Eye, Saeyoung doubted that Yoosung would want to see her anyway. His attention returned to the present as a security guard took their personal belongings from them, leading them into the depths of the facility.

 

Saeran could see Rika through the small window on the door leading into the visitation room. She didn’t seem thrilled to be there, probably because he didn’t like being seen in this state, stripped of all the power she’d once had over others. She never did like to appear weak, unless she was trying to be emotionally manipulative. Rika looked almost lifeless, the seething anger and hatred burning inside her being the only things still keeping her going. Even her hair, so shiny and bouncy before, looked dull and flat. Saeran had to wonder if she refused to eat properly and suffered malnourishment as a result; he hadn’t looked much different from her at the time of his rescue. It had taken nearly a month of Mina going “That boy is too skinny! He needs some spaghetti!” for him to get back up to a healthy weight. Rika looked similarly thin, her frame hidden underneath the baggy orange jumpsuit, dark circles of sagging skin developing under her eyes. She turned to face them, piercing green eyes as intense as ever, burning with fury at her present situation.

 

Her terrible gaze, her expression of sheer displeasure, sent a chill down Saeran’s spine. He wondered if maybe it  _ was  _ a mistake to come here after all. What would this accomplish? He could scream at Rika all day long, but what would that do? It was almost guaranteed that she would feel no remorse for her actions, and even if she did, and she broke down, begging for forgiveness, would that really make Saeran feel any better? He would be expected to  _ forgive  _ her, to  _ be the bigger person _ , even if he had  _ zero  _ obligation to do so.  _ No. I have to do this.  _ He didn’t have to forgive Rika, but he couldn’t keep being afraid of her. She couldn’t hurt him anymore, merely a shadow of her former self. It was about time one of her victims actually stood up to her, and made it known that she didn’t have control of him anymore. Maybe Rika wouldn’t get anything out of this visit, but Saeran knew that it would help him to let this anger out instead of keeping it stuffed deep down inside.

 

“What are you doing here,  _ Ray _ ?” she grumbled as Saeran and Saeyoung approached, sitting down opposite her.

 

“That  _ isn’t  _ my name.” Saeran bristled at her usage of  _ that  _ name, the name she’d given him upon his initiation into Mint Eye. 

 

Rika sniffed. “I would  _ think  _ that you’d be delighted to have been held in such  _ high favor  _ by your  _ Savior _ .” She raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps I was wrong.”

 

“You  _ were _ wrong. You aren’t my savior.”

 

“You’ve been brainwashing him.” She turned her accusations toward Saeyoung now, baring her teeth.

 

“ _ You  _ brainwashed him Rika. I’m not telling him what to think, the way you did. I’m helping him get better.” The fluorescent overhead lights glinted off the lenses of Saeyoung’s glasses, but Saeran could see the rage burning behind them.

 

The blonde sneered. “He doesn’t  _ need  _ to get better-”

 

“Yes, I do!” Saeran cut in. “After everything you did to me, I needed help! I still need it! It’s going to take me  _ years  _ to recover from what you did!”

 

“After ‘everything I did?’  _ I _ took you in when no one else wanted you!  _ I  _ fed you, clothed you, put a roof over your head.  _ I saved  _ you!”

 

“You lied to make Saeyoung trust you! You abused your fiance to the point where he didn’t even know whether or not your actions were wrong! You tortured me! Starved me! Drugged me!  _ Raped  _ me! You used me to do whatever you wanted, without any regard for whether anyone got hurt!” Saeran was having a difficult time keeping his voice down. Now that he’d gotten started, it would all have to come out. “You didn’t  _ save  _ me! You almost killed me!”

 

Rika rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. Everything I did was for your own good, and  _ this  _ is the thanks I get?”

 

“Everything you did was for your own sadistic enjoyment.” Saeran’s hands were shaking along with his voice; not out of sadness or fear, but out of untethered rage. “You...got off...on hurting other people.”

 

“Oh, what, are you gonna cry? You always  _ were  _ a crybaby,  _ Ray _ .” Rika’s lip curled in annoyance.

 

“And you were always a monster.”

 

“Because I gave you what  _ I knew you wanted _ ?” Her curled lip changed into a predatory grin.

 

“I didn’t want that!” Saeran didn’t know how much longer he could stay civil. He was about ready to grab a chair and throw it at Rika’s head. Even now, she kept mocking him, belittling him. She clearly enjoyed getting him riled up- if she couldn’t have him under her control, then she might as well torment him the only way she still could. 

 

“Really?” Rika purred. “Because even though you were _saying_ no, you sure didn’t _seem_ to mind.”

 

Saeran leapt out of his seat, slamming his hands down on the table separating him from her. “It doesn’t  _ matter _ ! What you did was wrong!  _ You raped  _ me! You tortured me! You abused me to the point where I wasn’t even myself anymore!” Rika stared up at him wide-eyed, finally silent. “I’m  _ still  _ remembering things that happened to me there! Because I was so sick, and drugged, that I couldn’t even process what was going on most of the time!”

 

“And that’s  _ my _ fault? That you couldn’t  _ handle  _ the paradise I gave you?”

 

“It wasn’t paradise! It was  _ Hell _ !”

 

“ _ Ray _ …”

 

“Shut up! Just shut up! I’m still hurting because of what you did! And I’m not the only one you hurt! Everyone you know if worse off for having had you in their lives!” Adrenaline coursed through Saeran’s body; though his hands kept shaking, he no longer felt afraid. There was no stopping him now that he’d proven himself capable of standing up to Rika. All the anger and frustration came bubbling up from deep inside, pouring out like lava. Saeran could say whatever he liked; no one would judge him too harshly for berating his abuser. Caught up in a heady rush of excitement, he felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted from him. It was a cleansing experience, finally getting all of this out from inside his mind.

 

“You didn’t want to get better, but instead of just keeping that shit to yourself, you had to go and make everyone around you miserable too!” Saeran spat at her, continuing his emboldened rant. “Maybe you should have just killed yourself and saved us all the trouble! But  _ no _ , you wanted to convince yourself that people wanted you around, so you beat them down physically and mentally until they couldn’t take it anymore, and then you pretended to give half a shit for half a second so that they’d end up being dependent on you, and then you could do whatever you wanted to them!” His mouth curled into an eerie grin. “You always acted like you were so strong, so  _ powerful _ , but behind all that you’re just a sad piece of shit who can’t stand to see anyone else being happy without you. You  _ needed  _ to treat people like garbage to feel good about yourself so that the voices in your head would stop screaming that you’re just a low-life piece of trash that would be better off dead.”

 

Rika’s lip began to tremble, big crocodile tears welling up and threatening to spill over her pallid cheeks. “I don’t want to be here anymore,” she whispered to the nearby security guard, who promptly put down his newspaper to grasp her by the arm and lead her away. She continued her whimpering, looking back over her shoulder in attempt to make the twins feel guilty.

 

“Who’s a crybaby now, bitch?”

 

Once Rika was out of sight, Saeran sat back down in his chair, still jittery from the excitement. “Holy shit, Saeran,” Saeyoung whispered. “That was...kind of awesome.”

 

“You think so?” Saeran give him a shaky smile in return.

 

“Yeah! You not only faced Rika, but you stood up to her. You were so strong just now... How do you feel?”

 

“I feel...I feel good. Really good. I’m glad I got to say all of that.” The younger twin beamed, proud of himself. “I feel like she doesn’t have power over me anymore.” 

 

“Let’s get out of here. I’ve heard that there’s a great ice cream shop not too far away.” Saeyoung stood up, offering his brother a hand.

  
“That sounds great,  _ Hyung _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typically, I wouldn't advise talking to someone the way Saeran talked to Rika, but after everything she did, I can't really feel bad about it. She can choke.


	115. Reconciliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for a very brief lil smutty bit at the end of the chapter.

\---

Saeran had apparently been making good progress with recovery, or so Momoka had been told. She found it strange that, despite her wanting to take some time away from him, she still got regular updates about his condition from Won-Jae. Of course, he was banging the twins’ family friend now, so he was getting all of that information straight from the horse’s mouth, pretty much. Though she’d decided that she and Saeran needed to be apart for a while, she did feel glad that he was sticking with his therapy, and that he’d actually made some good progress. Maybe he had learned some things through the incident; at least _something_ good had come out of it. As for herself, well, things were about the same. She was still on the fence about continuing her friendship with Saeran, though she found herself leaning more and more to the side of giving him another chance. After all, if he had indeed been progressing with his recovery the way Won-Jae said, then he might have more tools to help him avoid the kind of episode that had upset things in the first place. If that was the case, maybe Momoka could start to feel safe around him again.

 

The more she thought about it, the more she missed Saeran. If it hadn’t been for that one unfortunate incident, their relationship would have remained amicable. Even then, that episode wasn’t totally Saeran’s fault. While it was true that he _had_ put her in danger, the _real_ Saeran wouldn’t do that, Momoka believed. From what she’d heard, he felt terrible about what happened, and the event had made him _that_ much more determined to get better, to learn how to control his disorder. He was a sweet boy who wanted to avoid harming others as much as he possibly could. At his core, he was gentle, and sweet, and always interested in the things that other people loved and in what they had to say. Saeran was the kind of boy who found joy in caring for his plants, in talking to his friends and learning new things, new skills. Momoka missed him, she realized. Saeran was unique, and special, and no one would ever be able to replace him. She wanted to see him again.

 

The sound of his phone buzzing from the adjoining room was just barely audible as Saeran filled a cup from the bathroom sink so that he might water his plants. He sat the cup carefully on his desk before making his way over to the bedside table where his phone rested. It skittered across the wooden surface, lighting up with the identity of the caller. _Momo?!_ He snatched it off the nightstand, answering just before it had a chance to go to voicemail. “H-Hello?”

 

“Saeran?”

 

The sweet sound of her voice made Saeran’s chest feel tight. He didn’t realize just how much he’d missed it. “Momo…”

 

“How are you?”

 

“I’m...better.” He was grinning from ear to ear now. He’d been worried that she might never want to speak to him again.

 

“That’s good. I’m glad.” Saeran could hear a faint smile in her voice.

 

He laughed nervously. “I’m...actually kind of surprised to hear from you. I thought that you might not ever want to be friends again.”

 

“Really?”

 

“After what I did…”

 

“Saeran, I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” Momo suddenly cut in. “And I miss you.”

 

Saeran could have sworn that his heart skipped a beat. “R-Really?” He gave a wobbly smile. “I miss you too.”

 

“I do want to try to be friends again, because I really liked spending time with you before.”

 

Saeran wondered if she would ever want to be _more_ than friends again, but he didn’t ask, knowing better than to push his luck. “It makes me so happy to hear you say that. We can take it as slow as you want, even if you only want to talk on the phone for a while.”

 

Momo laughed softly at his enthusiastic kindness. God, how he had missed that laugh. “I actually want to see you in person. We could go to a botanical garden or something. Would you like that?”

 

“That sounds like a lot of fun. I could bring a camera, and take pictures. But...don’t you think we should find time to talk about what I did? How I hurt you?” Saeran winced. He knew that it was probably a painful memory for Momoka too, but he couldn’t just...pretend that everything was perfectly fine, that everything was the same as it had been before.

 

“I do want to talk about that. I just...would rather hang out with you in _public_ places for now…”

 

Saeran’s stomach hurt, knowing what she meant by that. _I don’t feel totally safe with you just yet._ “I understand. When did you want to try and get together?”

 

\---

 

Momoka and Saeran had made arrangements to see each other two days later, on an afternoon where she had neither class nor work. Saeran felt nervous as he changed out of his lounging-around-at-home clothes and into the nice pants and sweater he planned to wear to see Momo. He hadn’t even felt this apprehensive before going to see Rika, since he no longer cared what Rika thought of him. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror. Mina had helped him dye his hair the night before, covering the white with a tomato-red that matched his natural color almost perfectly. Since he’d been spending more time in the sun, his skin held a warm, peachy glow, faint freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks. He looked...healthy, perhaps for the first time in his life. The rented car took him across town to the botanical garden as previously agreed, dropping him off at the gate where he would be meeting his friend.

 

He looked on as Momo finally appeared from the masses of people traveling back and forth down the street, glancing back and forth as she searched for her friend. She seemed to not recognize Saeran at first, now that his hair was completely red. He waved her over, and she smiled, a good sign. “You changed your hair,” she commented, tucking one of her own black tresses behind her ear nervously. Her voice was fainter than normal; she seemed a little anxious about this meeting.

 

Saeran felt nervous too; he would be walking on eggshells all day, determined not to mess up the last chance he had to be a good friend to Momoka. “Yeah. It was looking kind of rough with the roots all grown out. Besides, I thought having it be red all over would make me look more like myself.” Saeran wrinkled his nose. “Even if I’m still trying to figure out who ‘myself’ is sometimes.” Momo chuckled at the comment, and he relaxed a little. Maybe things hadn’t changed as much as they thought.

 

“Let’s go inside!” Momoka smiled big, seemingly glad to have her friend back. They paid the entrance fee and walked through the gates, immediately greeted with a jungle created in the middle of the city, though most of the trees had already lost their leaves in preparation for winter. “We’ll have to come back in the spring once the flowers start to bloom.”

 

“Y-Yeah,” Saeran agreed, surprised by her optimism for the future.

 

“So, uh… How have you been?”

 

“Well…” Saeran thought for a minute. “It’s kind of complicated. I still feel really bad for how I treated you, but I’m also making a lot of progress toward never doing something like that again. I don’t like what I did, but…”

 

“But it did give you the opportunity to identify a problem so that you could try and fix it?”

 

“Something like that.”

 

Momo shrugged. “Well, that’s good. It’s better than just never dealing with it, I guess.”

 

Saeran frowned. “I do wish that I could have figured it out without hurting you.”

 

“It’s not always a perfect process. I’ll be okay, so don’t beat yourself up about it too much. As long as you recognize that it was a harmful behavior and you don’t let it go untreated, I think you can stop feeling so down about it. I mean, you are talking about it with your therapist, right?”

 

“Of course! We started focusing on that right away. I figured a lot of things out.” Saeran stopped walking for a minute, looking down at his feet. “I uh, I got diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.”

 

Momoka nodded, seemingly unfazed by the revelation. “I figured that was one explanation. Is your therapist helping you find your triggers?” She paused to admire the fiery foliage of a changing maple tree.

 

“Uh-huh. I think I know what made me have an episode that night…” Saeran winced. “...when I attacked you.”

 

Momo looked up, curious. “What are you thinking? Do you think it was because of what we were doing?”

 

“I’m pretty sure…”

 

She looked down, brows furrowing. “I should have known better than to push you so far, so fast. I _did_ know better, but I went along with all of it anyway. Shit.”

 

Saeran held up his hands. “D-Don’t blame yourself! We _both_ should have known better, probably. The fact that I knew I wasn’t ready to go _all_ the way should have clued me in to the fact that I shouldn’t be doing stuff like that yet!” He took a moment to calm down a little. “Because of...what was done to me at Mint Eye...because of what Rika did… I’m traumatized, you know, _sexually_ . All the things we did that night, I _wanted_ to do them, but I guess I’m just not used to doing that stuff by choice.”

 

Momoka’s stomach turned. “Saeran… I’m so sorry things turned out the way they did.”

 

“Yeah...me too. I really am very sorry that I hurt you the way I did. I promise that I’m doing everything that I can to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.”

 

“It’s not totally your fault. Yes, we should have been more careful, but you didn’t know that that was going to happen. You didn’t know that you would react that way.” She gave him a shaky smile. “I am glad that you’re getting help, for your own sake.”

 

“Momo… I hope that in the future I can be a good friend to you again.”

 

Momoka took Saeran’s hand and squeezed, making his heart jump. “I think you will be. I’ll admit...my feelings were kind of complicated. I knew that you couldn’t be held totally responsible for everything, but even if you didn’t _try_ to hurt me, you still did. It was a very scary experience for me, and it took some time for me to process it and figure out exactly how I felt about you afterward.”

 

Saeran looked at her nervously, raising his eyebrows as if to inquire about the conclusion at which she had arrived.

 

“It took a while, but I finally managed to separate the _real_ you from the part of you that you developed in order to survive at Mint Eye, and I realized that I missed you.”

 

“Y-You did?”

 

Momo nodded, color dusting her cheeks. “I missed hanging out with you, and talking to you, and just _you_. You’re very special to me, and I want to have you in my life again.”

 

“I’m so happy to hear you say that!” Saeran could feel a lump rising in his throat.

 

“There’s just one thing.”

 

He stopped short. “W-What is it?”

 

“I…” Momoka bit her lip, trying to find the nicest way to phrase things. “I feel a little bit bad about it, but I think it’s going to take some time before I can feel totally safe around you again. I mean… I know what happened wasn’t your fault, and you aren’t a danger to me, and you probably won’t have another episode if we’re careful, but…”

 

“But I still tried to hurt you. I still really scared you.” Saeran sighed. “I-I understand.”

 

“D-Don’t get me wrong! I still want to be friends, and I want to spend time with you! I just think that we should have some boundaries, for now.”

 

“What do you have in mind?”

 

“Well...like I said before, I think it would be best if we only hung out around other people. For a little while, we shouldn’t be going off by ourselves, like when we used to hang out at my apartment.”

 

“Could we go to my place, if Saeyoung or Mina is there?” Saeran suggested. “Sorry, but sometimes being in public is overwhelming for me.”

 

“I think that would be okay.”

 

“Umm… I’m probably pushing my luck by asking this, but… do you think…” He could feel color rising in his face.

 

“That we’ll ever be more than friends again?”

 

“Y-Yeah…”

 

Momo sighed, running her hands through her hair. “It’s hard for me to say, right now. I think there’s a pretty good chance, but I think we need to wait. I think before, we rushed into things way too fast, and it wasn’t good for you. I don’t think it would be _right_ for us to try and have a relationship like that right now. You still have a long way to go recovery-wise, and we’re just at different places in that process. If I were to date you right now, I would be taking advantage of you.”

 

“You wouldn’t! I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions!”

 

“I know it _feels_ like it would be fine, but I promise you, it wouldn’t,” she insisted. “You need to spend some more time figuring out _who_ _you are_ as an individual before you can be a part of a pair and it be healthy. I know the attention feels good, but you would end up being really dependent on me emotionally and it wouldn’t be good for you. You need to become independent first before we can have a healthy relationship dynamic.”

 

“I guess I see what you’re saying. I want to be independent.”

 

“And not just so that you can have a relationship with me, okay? You have to do it for yourself.”

 

“I know, I know…” Saeran mumbled. “I just...I want to prove that I _can_ be good to you.”

 

Momo made a disgruntled noise. “You’ve got to stop worrying so much about me and worry more about yourself. _You’re_ the one that’s still hurting. You’re the one that still needs to heal.” She sighed. “Look, if you’re really that concerned about me, think about it this way- the fact that you’re trying so hard to get better proves that you want to be good to everyone around you. It proves that you _do_ care about others.”

 

“You really think so?”

 

“Yes but… Saeran, _please_ try to stop thinking about your recovery as something you’re doing for other people. It’s not about anyone but you. It’s for your own good, and your own good is a noble pursuit all on its own.” She squeezed Saeran’s hands again. “Look, _I forgive you_ for what you did before, so stop beating yourself up about it and just focus on helping yourself, dummy!” She flicked him in the forehead playfully and smiled.

 

Saeran had already been thrilled that Momoka had wanted to see him again, but her forgiveness elated him. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t waste this second chance, that he would work on improving for his own benefit, and would become the kind of person they both could be proud of. Though familiar feelings of affection began to develop once more inside him, he tried to suppress them for the time being. He knew that Momo was right, that he probably would become too dependent on her, clingy even, and that wouldn’t be a good relationship to have. Saeran needed to be able to stand on his own feet before they could stand side-by-side.

 

They spent the rest of the afternoon poking through the garden, looking for unique-looking plants, taking pictures of them and of each other. Momoka informed him that if it really interested him that much, he could even go to school just to study plants, much to Saeran’s delight. Even if his botanical interest had been born during a painful period of his life, it still brought him much joy as something that had gotten him through that time, and extended forward into a happy future.

 

As the sun began to set, and the botanical gardens began to close down for the day, Momoka led Saeran toward the exit, both of them actually feeling disappointed that their time together had to end. “I’m really glad I got to see you again,” he told her, smiling.

 

“Me too. I knew that I missed you, but I didn’t realize how much until today.” She reached out to embrace him, and he stiffened at first, surprised, but then relaxed, enjoying the touch. This kind of contact felt so different from what he had grown used to over the years. This was warm, and meant as a token of affection, rather than a show of dominance. Saeran wasn’t used to it, and it almost felt strange in a way, but he didn’t _dislike_ it. He returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around Momoka and laying his cheek against the top of her head, feeling her silky hair against his skin. He closed his eyes and did his best to savor this brief moment, peaceful and perfect.

 

\---

 

Momoka writhed underneath him, panting as her damp hair stuck to the sweat beaded up on her forehead. “S-Sae-ah!~”

 

“Does it feel good?”

 

She swallowed hard and nodded, giving a little squeak of surprise as Saeran picked up the pace of his thrusts, the lewd sound of their skin slapping together becoming audible. Momo dug her fingernails into his back, throwing her head back and moaning as she clenched around him, her wet heat swallowing him deeper, pulling him closer to the point of no return.

 

Saeran leaned down to capture her mouth with his own, growling his delight against her as he grasped her hip with one hand, jerking her back to meet each buck of his hips, making her whimper as her body spasmed, leaving a wet spot on the sheets. “I’m close,” he murmured, slowing his movements in order to hold back just a little bit longer.

 

“Cum inside me,” Momoka whispered, gazing up at Saeran through hooded eyes.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Momo nodded, and everything went white.

 

Saeran’s eyes snapped open, his head spinning. He panted heavily, his body feeling hot all over as he stared up at the ceiling, disoriented. As he slowly became more alert, he started to place himself. He’d been dreaming just now, yes? About… About having sex with Momoka. A pleasant warmth still flowed throughout his lower body. _Oh._ Saeran threw off the covers, finding the wet, sticky patch resulting from his overly-indulgent subconscious. _Shit._ He rolled out of bed, pushing away the hair that had been plastered to his forehead with sweat as he discarded the dirty underwear into his laundry basket. Saeran turned on the sink in the bathroom to clean up, staring at himself in the mirror. He looked a fucking mess, eyes wild and hair sticking out every which way, face hot and pink. He looked...satisfied, pupils dilated, expression serene. Of course, he’d had a physical need, and it had been taken care of.

  
He lay awake for a while after returning to bed, thinking about what he’d just experienced. As usual, his inclination was to feel disgusted by his bodily response, but Saeran remembered what he’d been told before. _It’s not wrong. It’s not disgusting. It’s normal, and natural, and I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to feel like this._ He repeated the mantra to himself over and over, until he kind of sort of started to believe it. Saeran tried to savor the warmth, the fleeting memories of his dream that still lingered, how his dream self had felt about the union with his chosen partner. The emotions swirling about inside him slowly stilled, settling into something content, something...happy.


	116. Wabi-Sabi

\---

Momoka lazed about in the studio, watching a group of Ceramics I students struggling to finish the set of bowls they had been tasked with throwing. She found the whole thing a bit amusing, still able to remember how difficult it had been for her back then. Then again, a lot of things had been difficult for her before. Now, she could probably throw a bowl in her sleep; everything got a little bit easier over time. Besides her regular supervisory duties, she also had a kiln full of work that needed to be unloaded today. She’d cracked the door open hours ago to let the heat out slowly. If the temperature of the wares dropped too rapidly, they would suffer temperature shock and break apart, like a piece of glass that’s been heated and then suddenly dipped into cold water. Momoka had once broken a pitcher doing something like that. People were much the same way, she supposed. They needed gradual change, lest they be traumatized by sudden shock.

 

For that reason, she felt glad that she’d set some boundaries with Saeran before. He hadn’t ever really been a part of “normal” society before, having been locked indoors for a majority of his childhood, and then held hostage by Rika. He needed to adjust to his new life slowly, focusing first on his mental health, and moving forward from there. It wouldn’t be good for him to just jump right into a relationship with Momoka so suddenly. He needed a more solid concept of personal identity first, and a more stable mental state before his participation in a romantic relationship could be healthy. Furthermore, he had so much more to look forward to than just getting a girlfriend. Having a romantic partner would merely be the sprinkles on top of the ice cream cone, rather than the cone itself. Momo wanted to be someone that Saeran could share his life  _ with _ , not his whole life. For now, what he needed was a friend, and she was more than happy to be that friend. She wasn’t at all opposed to dating him in the future, if that was what Saeran decided that he wanted, but it wouldn’t go over well right now. They’d learned that the hard way.

 

_ It should probably be cool enough by now _ , she thought, glancing at her watch. Momoka hopped down off the counter where she was sitting, wandering into the kiln yard. She found the gas-powered unit she had been using, peeking inside to check the thermometer she’d placed earlier. Finally the inside of the kiln had cooled to the temperature of a pleasant summer evening, and she could pull the door all the way open without damaging her work. Unloading a kiln could be an arduous task- it had to be done one shelf at a time, slowly so as to not knock anything over, the still-hot-to-the-touch clay pieces loaded onto a cart to move them inside. The weather had turned much colder now, but the kiln yard held a certain consistent warmth, making Momo feel right at home. She had to reach up high for the top pieces, heart racing as she balanced precariously on her toes to access them.

 

Momoka made a sound of disappointment as she reached into the back of the kiln, finding a small box that had shattered into several jagged shards. She could remember spending several hours just carving the design into the clay, only for it to be all for nothing. Of course, she could super glue the pieces back together, but it wouldn’t ever be the same. It would still be obvious that the box had been broken before. She set it aside as she continued the process of unloading, feeling a little bit sad that such a beautiful and intricate piece that brought her such pride had been destroyed in the fire. That’s just how it was. Sometimes ceramic work would break even if the artist did everything in their power to keep it safe, and one could never pick and choose which ones survived and which were lost. Such was the way of the ceramic artist; hopeful for a good outcome but accepting of inevitable loss.

 

Though Momoka usually tried to forget her neglectful upbringing as much as possible, she did have some pleasant memories. She could recall her early years, spending time at her late grandmother’s house, admiring the traditional ceramic work that she collected. She recalled a large vase in a glossy black, with little rivulets of gold running through it.

 

_ “Momoka, do you see this vase?” _

 

_ “It’s pretty,  _ Oba-chan _!” _

 

_ “Looking at it now, can you tell that it was broken before?” _

 

_ “Really?” _

 

_ Her grandmother looked over at the fat cat lazily sunning himself in the window. “Tsuki knocked it over years ago before he got old and fat, and it broke apart into a lot of pieces.” _

 

_ “Tsuki! That’s mean!” _

 

_ “Mreeehhh…” _

 

_ “I didn’t want to just throw it all away, so I went to a local artist to see if he could repair it. He told me about a technique called ‘kintsukuroi.’ Kintsukuroi uses gold lacquer to glue the piece back together.” _

 

_ “I like the gold! It’s pretty!” _

 

_ “This method of repair follows the philosophy of wabi-sabi. Do you know what that means, Momoka?” _

 

_ “No.” _

 

_ “Wabi-sabi is about accepting and celebrating imperfections as part of life. Because of the golden lacquer, we can see where this vase was broken. By highlighting the cracks, we acknowledge the breakage as part of the item’s history, rather than trying to hide it. Nothing in this world is perfect, so we should celebrate the things that make each person unique.” _

 

Momoka smiled softly to herself.  _ Oba-chan…  _ She had never performed this kind of technique herself, but perhaps the internet could help her out. Lacquer was a somewhat familiar material, but she’d never used it in this specific way. She went poking around in the materials room, searching for gold powder. Such an item was available for the students to use, but it was kept locked-up. Only a faculty member or graduate student could distribute it, and only in a small quantity. Luckily, the box Momoka had made was small, and wouldn’t need much lacquer to be reassembled. After nagging Won-Jae to come and unlock the cabinet, she got down to work, mixing the shimmering dust into the liquid and painstakingly layering it into the cracks. It was a labor of love, and she worked well into the night, determined to save this lovely piece of stoneware. Like her grandmother’s vase, she’d glazed it a glossy black, and the metallic rivulets stood out boldly against the dark background.

 

This piece was a bit like Saeran, she thought. He too had been hurt, his health damaged by what he had experienced in his lifetime, and was in the process of healing now. It would always be a part of his history, inseparable from his identity, but it wasn’t something he needed to hide, or something of which he should feel ashamed. Like with this box, his scars were apparent, but they weren’t ugly. They made him unique. They documented his story. Their affection for each other was a little bit wabi-sabi she supposed, each appreciative of the other’s imperfections, since they felt kinship with it. This box would make a good gift, she realized. If she associated the item so strongly with Saeran, then he should have it, a reminder that he was growing stronger, that his trauma was not the end, and that he was loved for everything that he was, flaws and all.

 

\---

 

“I have something for you,” Momoka told Saeran as his brother helped Mina clear the dishes from their dinner, leaving the two of them alone. She reached into the cardboard box she’d used to transport the gift, placing it on the table in front of Saeran.

 

“This is beautiful,” he breathed, examining the item carefully. “Did you make this?”

 

“I did.”

 

“I can’t just take your work like this! It’s too much… I don’t deserve something this nice!”

 

“I want you to have it, though,” Momoka insisted. “I kept thinking of you while I worked on it. It should be yours.”

 

Saeran turned the box over in his hands, admiring the craftsmanship, the subtle designs carved into the body. “You...thought of me? While making something like this?”

 

Momoka reached over to trace her finger over the golden rivulets. “See the gold? This is where the original piece shattered while it was being fired.”

 

“This was broken? I thought it was just part of the design.” He thought for a minute. “It that why it made you think of me?”

 

“To a certain extent. It’s not like I think of  _ you  _ as being ‘broken,’ or anything. It was actually the technique I used to put it back together that reminded me of you. It’s called ‘Kintsukuroi,’ which means ‘golden repair.’ I used gold powder mixed with lacquer to stick the pieces back together. By emphasizing the places where the piece broke apart, I acknowledge what happened to it, instead of hiding it. It celebrates the unique qualities of the piece, and the process of repair makes it even more beautiful.”

 

“I think I see what you’re saying.” Saeran smiled, continuing to admire the gift he’d been given.

 

Momoka reached over to take his hand. “You’ve been hurt in the past too, and you’re gradually putting things together for yourself. Even if your history is painful, it should be acknowledged. I appreciate you for everything that you are, and you should feel the same way about yourself.”

 

Saeran’s chest felt tight. He still wondered whether he deserved such a lovely gift, but if Momoka insisted that he should have it, then he would treasure this piece. He didn’t know yet what he would put inside it- it would have to be something special. He was touched to think that she would look at something like this and think of him. Saeran never could have dreamed before that he might meet someone like her, that saw past his rough exterior and treasured him for what he was. Momoka didn’t want him to feel ashamed of his past, and she wasn’t daunted by it, by someone like him. She accepted everything about him as she accepted herself. “This is really special, Momo. Thank you.”

 

“I’m glad you like it. It’s unique and special, just like you.”

 

“I really wish there was something that I could give you in return,” Saeran murmured sheepishly.

 

Momoka squeezed his hand again. “Just keep working hard on getting better. That’s what would make me the happiest.”

 

He groaned in return, feeling like that would be such a cop-out sort of gift. Here his friend had given him a beautiful, handmade piece of art, and all he could offer was his own recovery? It hardly seemed equivalent. Though he said nothing more, Saeran made a promise deep inside his heart that one day he would give Momoka all of the things she deserved and more, that he would be the kind of man that she deserved, and that he would build a beautiful life that they could share. Though in many ways he still didn’t know how to show it, he loved Momoka more than anything, and he swore that he would find a way to love himself just the same.


	117. After-Ending, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these brief endings take place 1-3 years after the end of the main story. Half of them are included here, and the rest will be in the next chapter.
> 
> Also, this chapter does contain a small amount of smut.

_ Saeran and Momoka _

 

“Damn it!” Momoka smacked a mosquito as it landed on her leg, and she mentally kicked herself for not bringing any bug spray. When Saeran had suggested an evening picnic date, it should have been her first thought. He snorted now, amused at how worked-up his girlfriend could get over one little bug. At least now he wouldn’t be the only one who was itchy. The cover-up job he’d gotten to hide his old Mint Eye tattoo was currently in the process of healing, and it itched like mad as the top bit of skin began to peel. “Don’t laugh at me!” she pouted, taking another drink of tea as she shot him a faux-pitiful look.

 

Saeran put his hands up, feigning a look of seriousness. “You’re right, I’m sorry. How cruel of me.” He smirked as she rolled her eyes, cleaning up what was left of their meal. “Shall we get going now?” He stood, reaching his hand out to help Momo to her feet. “There’s something I want to show you on the way back.”

 

They made their way back to Saeran’s car, which he’d finally been able to lease after two years of saving up money earned at his job as a florist. He still lived with his brother for now, because housing could be expensive, but once Saeran graduated from university with his botany degree, he would find new opportunities. He and Momoka had been officially dating for over a year now, and though he took medication for his disorders, and still visited his therapist once a week just to check in, he’d made a significant amount of progress since the beginning of his recovery, coping well with his new, “normal” sort of life. Saeran had become a much more independent person, pursuing goals and interests without worrying about the approval of others, and with confidence in himself.

 

Saeran pulled into a residential area, much to Momoka’s confusion. Maybe he was just taking a shortcut? However, he stopped in front of a small house, with a “For Rent” sign in the yard.  _ Surely not…  _

 

“This is it,” Saeran said, climbing out of the car and coming around to open the door for Momoka.

 

“Seriously?! I thought you couldn’t afford your own place yet.”

 

Saeran beamed with pride in himself. “I just found out that I got that research assistant job that I applied for last month, and the scholarship that comes with it. I can afford this now. It’s not very big, only a one-bedroom, so the rent is low.”

 

Momoka threw her arms around her boyfriend. “Saeran! That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you!”

 

He took her by the hand, pointing at the front door. “Let me show you the inside.”

 

Like Saeran had told her before, the house was small, boasting a kitchen, living area, one bedroom, and one bathroom. Despite its size, it seemed cozy, and would be even better once he moved his things in. Momoka was thrilled for him. Saeran had for so long wanted to be completely independent, not having to rely on his brother for anything, and now he could finally make that happen. It had been almost three years since his return from Mint Eye, and he had come so far since then. He still had the occasional dissociative episode or panic attack, but they were rare, and decreasingly severe. They could even make love without Saeran feeling anxious or uncomfortable, and they took full advantage of that ability. Now that he had his own place, Momo could spent the night at Saeran’s when before it had always been the other way around.

 

“Momoka.” Saeran sounded serious as he spoke her name to get her attention. 

 

She turned around to find him holding up a key, attached to a purple quartz keyfob. “You’re giving me a key to your place?”

 

He swallowed hard, suddenly looking nervous. “No, I’m giving you a key to  _ our  _ place.”

 

Momo’s eyes widened. “You mean…”

 

“I want you to move in with me… If that’s what you want, of course!”

 

Saeran almost lost his balance as she embraced him again, grabbing the key from his hand. “Of course I want to!” She leaned up to kiss him, their first kiss in their new home, and he cradled her face in his hand. They had no bed to fall back on, but that didn’t stop them as the kiss began to escalate toward something more. Momoka lamented the carpet burn that bloomed up and down her back afterward, and Saeran rubbed her skin gently to soothe it. “Don’t worry. We can go and pick out a bed tomorrow.” Our  _ bed… for  _ our  _ house… Welcome home, my sweet little peach.  _

  
  


_ Vanderwood and Won-Jae _

 

Fingers dancing languidly over the buttons of the video game controller, Won-Jae stared at the screen, only half-interested in his current activity. After all, he was really only killing time for now. Vanderwood was supposed to be coming back today, having been busy for the past week with field work for his agency. Though he didn’t say much about it, Won-Jae wasn’t really a fan of his boyfriend’s job. It was dangerous, and he constantly worried that  _ this  _ would be the time that he got that awful phone call, telling him that someone went wrong. It was a lot like dating a soldier, he figured. He’d taken up cigarettes again, though that was partially due to Vanderwood’s own habit, but mostly due to stress. Won-Jae nearly launched the controller across the room when his phone rang next to him, showing an unknown caller. That was nothing unusual; Vanderwood often called him from pay phones or burner cells.

 

“Is this Paik Won-Jae?” a woman’s voice asked.

 

“Yes? Who is this?”

 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Paik. I’m calling from Seoul Regional Medical Center.” Won-Jae’s mouth went dry. “You were listed as the emergency contact for a Mr. James Ford who was brought to the emergency room earlier.” “James Ford” was one of Vanderwood’s aliases; Won-Jae’s head started to spin. “I can’t give any information regarding his condition over the phone, but Mr. Ford asked for us to call you.”

 

“I’ll be there,” he answered breathlessly.

 

“Of course, Mr. Paik.”

 

A thousand thoughts raced through his head as he tore his way downtown, barely staying within the speed limit. The person who had called couldn’t tell Won-Jae anything about Vanderwood’s condition, so what did that mean?! Was he in critical condition? Would he have to have surgery? Was he  _ dying _ ? The sooner he got to the hospital, the sooner he would know. Until then, it was a Schrodinger’s cat kind of situation, with Vanderwood simultaneously okay and not okay until Won-Jae arrived, collapsing both waves into a single reality. He swerved his car into the first parking spot he could find, not really caring whether it got towed or not. Arriving at the reception desk, he knew that he looked harried, but it didn’t matter. “I’m looking for a Mr. James Ford, please.”

 

“Ford…” This receptionist had to be the slowest typist in the world as she looked up Vanderwood’s information. “He’ll be in the trauma unit, second floor.”

 

“Thanks.” Won-Jae raced for the stairs, not patient enough to wait for the elevator.

 

With some help from one of the on-duty nurses, he managed to find Vanderwood’s room. His instinct was to burst in without a second thought, but he didn’t want to wake Vanderwood if he was resting. Heart pounding, he opened the door, relieved to see his boyfriend sitting up in bed, bandaged, with one arm in a cast. Finding him alive, well, and alert, Won-Jae could have crumpled to the floor. Instead he hurried over, careful as he embraced the other man. “You scared the shit out of me…”

 

“Were you worried? I told them to tell you that I was fine, but they wouldn’t break hospital policy.” He rubbed Won-Jae’s back gently, soothing him. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

 

His moment of vulnerability abruptly ending, he whacked Vanderwood on his one good arm. “You could have called me yourself.”

 

“My phone was broken!” the older man protested. “And the doctors were treating me up until a few minutes ago, so I couldn’t use the landline. You knew where I was; that was sufficient information.”

 

“Do you know how terrified I was between receiving that phone call, and walking through that door? Do you know how worried I get every time you go out in the field?”

 

Vanderwood looked surprised. “You worry about me?”

 

“How could I not?” Won-Jae’s voice cracked, all of his anxiety and fear bubbling up at once. “Every single time you do that kind of job, I sit waiting for the phone call that I got today!” He wasn’t normally the kind of person who liked to show his more sensitive feelings, but he couldn’t help it this time.

 

“Do you really feel that way?” Won-Jae could only nod in response, his lip quivering. Vanderwood grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together. “You should have told me that you felt this way sooner.”

 

“I didn’t want you to feel like I was guilt-tripping you.” The younger man’s voice came out hoarse and mumbled.

 

“You know…” Vanderwood gazed off into the distance. “I’ve been thinking that it might be about time for me to retire from this kind of work.” He gestured to his broken arm. “Especially after an incident like this.”

 

Caught up in his feelings, Won-Jae climbed into the bed to lay next to him. “You’re not just saying that for me, are you? You shouldn’t quit just because I worry.”

 

Vanderwood raised an eyebrow. “Have you ever known me to be the kind of person who does things because it’s what someone else wants?”

 

“No, but…”

 

“I’m getting to the point in my life where this job is hard on me, both physically and mentally. It’s time for me to settle down and be more serious about our relationship.”

 

Won-Jae swallowed hard. “You mean…”

 

“I mean, I need to prioritize you over my job. That means not constantly putting myself in harm’s way.” Vanderwood stroked his boyfriend’s hair. “You are very important to me.”

 

“I love you,” Won-Jae murmured, without even thinking about it. He looked mortified as soon as he realized what words had come out of his mouth; he’d never said them before.

 

“Do you now?”

 

“I-I mean…” It was too late now. His face was bright red, humiliated to have said it first.

 

“Don’t be so shy,” Vanderwood whispered, his tone low and sultry as he lifted Won-Jae’s chin so that their lips almost touched. “I love you too.”

  
  


_ Yoosung and Chae-Young _

 

Chae-Young wrapped her jacket around herself, the February chill starting to get to her. She glanced down at her watch; Yoosung was supposed to meet her here five minutes ago, but he wasn’t running  _ all  _ that late, honestly. Still, she wished that she’d dressed a little more warmly. He was taking Chae-Young out for Valentine’s Day, so she’d dressed “cute” rather than “comfy.” In the past she would have joked that “a hoe never gets cold,” but she wasn’t really a “hoe” anymore, was she? Even before she and Yoosung were together, she’d given up all of her prior bad habits- smoking, binge-drinking, sleeping around with strangers. Those were remnants of her former life, reminders of her painful past, and that wasn’t who Chae-Young was anymore. She was happier now, taking care of herself, and dating a person who treated her with love and respect. Every girl deserved a boyfriend like Yoosung, she thought. He’d always been so kind and gentle, and so, so cute.  _ Especially in a collar and a pair of lace panties.  _

 

At the same time, he wasn’t  _ just  _ cute and sweet anymore. In the time that they’d been together, Chae-Young had watched Yoosung grow into a capable and responsible man. He had finished up his undergraduate degree after a slow start to his coursework, and was now working on his veterinary degree while also working at a vet clinic. Chae-Young sometimes felt as though he’d passed her up, even if she  _ did  _ still have more degrees than he did. While Yoosung had matured, she felt as though she had stagnated. Occasionally she worried that he would eventually move on, and find someone else who had their shit more together, but then he would smile at Chae-Young in the way that he did, and her worries would disappear.

 

“Chae!” The young woman turned around, face breaking into a wide smile when she saw her boyfriend walking toward her, holding a bouquet of red roses. 

 

\---

 

“Ch-Chae!~” Yoosung whined, trembling beneath her as she rolled her hips more relentlessly, taking him in as deeply as she could. She hissed in delight as he dug his fingernails into her thigh, spurred on by his intense pleasure.

 

“Easy, pet,” she purred, giving the leash she held a little tug. “Keep that up and I might have to cuff you.”

 

“I-I wouldn’t mind-ah!” Yoosung began to rut his hips upward, seeking greater intensity; he wouldn’t last much longer now.

 

Chae-Young snickered softly, leaning down to nibble along his collarbone. “It’s supposed to be a  _ punishment _ , not a  _ reward _ .”

 

“If I can be good, will you give me a reward?”

 

“What kind of reward would you like?”

 

“L-Let me cum? P-Please?” His big puppy-dog eyes pleaded her, and she pretended to think it over, teasing him by taking her time. “ _ Please? _ ”

 

She sighed softly, always loving it when he begged. “I  _ suppose  _ you’ve earned it.”

 

“I can…?”

 

“Cum for me, Yoosung.” Chae-Young hummed pleasantly as she felt him twitching inside her, grateful that the walls of their apartment were thick, and no one could hear his cracked screams of ecstasy. Once he’d finished, she lifted herself off, carefully removing the collar around his neck and gently kissing the skin underneath to remind him that though she was rough with him, he was very much adored. She lay down next to him, caressing his face.

 

“I love you so much.” Yoosung pulled Chae-Young close, reminding her that he hadn’t just grown in terms of maturity, but that he’d also gotten larger in stature.

 

“I love you too…” She cringed, hearing the uncertainty in her voice.

 

Yoosung pulled back to look at her, a worried expression on his face. “Is something wrong?”

 

“It’s nothing, I just…” Chae-Young groaned, knowing that she shouldn’t hide her feelings from him. “It’s just that you’ve grown up  _ so much  _ since I’ve known you. You’re so mature now, and…”

 

“And what?” He reached out to stroke her cheek, his violet eyes searching her face.

 

Chae-Young sighed. “Sometimes I wonder how much longer it’ll be before you outgrow me. How much more time do I have before you pass me up, and you don’t want to be with me anymore?”

 

Yoosung swallowed hard. “Do...Do you really feel that way?” Chae-Young nodded, and he pulled her into a crushing embrace. “Please, Chae… Please don’t feel like you  _ ever  _ need to worry about that! You’re literally my dream girl, okay?”

 

“You say that now…”

 

He made a noise of frustration, upset as he tried to find a way to make his girlfriend feel better. “Look at it this way: When I met you, I was super immature, remember? I didn’t go to class, I didn’t eat right, and I was just generally an irresponsible person, right?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“By comparison, you had things  _ much  _ more together than I did.”

 

Chae-Young chuckled. “That’s debatable, but okay.”

 

“ANYway, think of it like this: I’m not outgrowing you, just catching up.” Yoosung looked at her seriously. “I want to be the kind of man that you can depend on, the kind of man that can take care of you. One of the reasons I’ve come this far is because of how you always encouraged me, not because you had ulterior motives, like Rika, but because you wanted what was best for me. I wanna marry you one of these days, you know that, right?”

 

“Y-You do?”

 

Yoosung gave a shy smile. “I thought you knew that already.” He whimpered in surprise as Chae-Young flipped him over onto his back, straddling his hips.  _ Some  _ things tended to stay the same, it seemed. 

 

“You wanna be mine forever?” she whispered, ghosting her lips over his throat.

 

“Nnngh… Yes, please,  _ Master _ .”

  
  


_ Jihyun and Kat _

 

“Does that painting look crooked to you? Did we hang it up cooked?” Jihyun tapped his finger against his chin, staring at the canvas anxiously.

 

“It’s fine, Ji,” Kat reassured him, supervising the set-up of the cash bar.

 

“I think it’s crooked.”

 

Kat sighed, opening the level application on her phone and placing it on top of the painting. “See, it’s perfect.” That seemed to calm her partner a bit, though he remained nervous as he fidgeted with the beaded bracelets that he wore, souvenirs from a recent trip they’d taken. With both of them pursuing art full-time, they could do things like that. She padded over to him, bare feet almost silent on the gallery floor, and brushed his hair to the side affectionately. “Don’t worry too much, everything’s going to go fine.”

 

“But I’ve never had a painting show before…”

 

“So?” Kat shrugged. “As long as the art is good, no one’s going to care.”

 

“ _ Is  _ it good, though?”

 

“Jihyun, we’ve been over this a million times. The key to making good art is to stop worrying about making it ‘good,’ and just make it honest.” A couple of months after the Mint Eye incident, Jihyun had confessed that he’d always wanted to paint, but that his self-consciousness, and his desire to be a serious sort of person, had always held him back, pushing him to pursue photography instead. His biggest personal conflict had always been his resistance toward being his most authentic self, and for the past two years, Kat had been slowly pushing him toward the person he truly was inside. Though it was rather cliche, “Live your Truth” had become an often-cited philosophy in their household. At first, Jihyun had painted tentatively, so afraid of making mistakes, but eventually he’d broken down, smoked a bowl, and found out what he could do when he did away with his inhibitions. Now, he was holding his first gallery show in four or five years, and in an entirely different medium from before. No wonder he was so anxious.

 

Of course, Kat was feeling the nerves herself, though for a different reason. Recently, Jihyun had felt that he should try to reconnect with his family, who were living abroad. He’d already mended his relationship with his sister, who had visited a couple of months before, and with his mother, who would be coming here tonight. She’d apparently been overjoyed when her son reached out to her, and couldn’t wait to meet the young woman whom he’d come to love. From what Jihyun told her, she’d always been supportive of his artistic endeavors, even as he resisted them himself. He didn’t appreciate her enough, he said, especially considering how she’d risked her life to rescue him when their house caught fire when he was a child, losing her hearing as a result. She had been a talented pianist before that, Jihyun said, and that, if for no other reason, he should pursue his painting to honor her sacrifice.

 

“Kat,” Jihyun called out behind her, and she turned to see him leading an older woman over toward her, her hair greying, but still a distinct shade of blue. “This is my mother.”

 

Mrs. Kim’s eyes widened as she looked over her son’s partner, her wildly curly hair, the spray of freckles over her cheeks and shoulders, her warm, tanned skin. “She’s beautiful,” she signed to Jihyun.

 

“Thank you. I’m very happy to meet you,” Kat gestured in return. Both Kims looked at her in shock. “Surprise.”

 

“When did you learn sign language?” Jihyun asked, flabbergasted.

 

“I started teaching myself when you told me that your mother was deaf. I don’t know a lot yet, but I wanted to be able to communicate with her,” Kat explained, her hands moving in time with her spoken language.

 

Touched, Jihyun clasped a hand over his mouth, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He always had been a sensitive sort of person, and this act left him at a loss for words. Kat had always been so kind to him, but she continued to surprise him with her gentleness, her selflessness. He never quite got used to being treated this way; now that same regard was being shown to his family too. Jihyun embraced her suddenly, holding her tight and close. He’d known for a long time that he wanted to spend the rest of his days with her, but this act made him all the more determined. “I was going to wait until later in the evening for this…” he murmured, “but…” He sank down onto one knee, producing a small, handmade, wooden box from his pocket, making Kat’s eyes go wide and his mother gasp in surprise. He opened the box, revealing the thin band inside, accented with a glittering, uncut diamond. 

 

“Katrina...you have always been so... _ kind _ , so  _ gentle  _ with me, and I cannot imagine another person who fits me as perfectly as you. I know you’ve always been a free spirit, and I promise I will never try to tame you. I just want to be able to run alongside you. You are such a delight to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life at your side. Please marry me.” 

 

Kat didn’t even need time to think, nodding vigorously, and he slipped the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit. He stood, and she reached up to kiss him, a few happy tears spilling down her cheeks. Jihyun wiped them away, smiling. “Let’s go now. The show’s about to start!”

  
  


_ To Be Continued in Part II _

 


	118. After-Ending, Part II

_ Saeyoung and Mina _

 

Mina glanced back and forth between the countdown timer on her phone, and the plastic stick in her other hand. She couldn’t imagine how she’d wound up in this situation; they were  _ always  _ so careful about using protection. Now, Mina was  _ late _ , really late, and that could only mean a couple of things. Stressful situations could cause  _ that  _ not to come, but she hadn’t been under any kind of stress or pressure lately, so it had to be  _ this _ . She glanced back at the plastic test again, where the digitized screen continued to read “Please Wait.” This was supposed to be the most advanced test on the market, so why was this taking so long?! Though she needed the test for confirmation, Mina felt as though she kind of already  _ knew _ . She just felt...different lately.  _ Well, a watched pot never boils _ , she thought, flipping the test face-down and waiting for the countdown to finish. When her phone finally chimed, she jumped, heart racing as she flipped the stick over to read the result.

 

“Pregnant.”

 

Staring at that one word for a good five minutes straight, eyes bugging out of her head, Mina didn’t quite know how to feel. She hadn’t exactly spent a lot of time over the years actually thinking about motherhood. Of course, she always had the option to terminate the pregnancy, but as she sat, letting reality sink in, she had to admit that the idea of having a baby with Saeyoung didn’t seem all that bad. Since leaving his former intelligence job, he had started his own business, and eventually Mina had joined him as a partner. She wouldn’t have to worry about taking maternity leave, or finding childcare, since they both would be home to care for the baby.  _ But what will Saeyoung think about this? _ Saeyoung often joked about “making some little tomatoes,” but how would he react to that actually happening. If he wasn’t ready to be a father, Mina wouldn’t hesitate to end the pregnancy, but she did  _ kind  _ of hope that he would be on board with this.

 

Nervous, she padded into the home office, where Saeyoung typed away at some coding for a new robotic cat toy that he was developing. “Saeyoung?”

 

“Hmm?” He acknowledged Mina’s presence, but didn’t turn around yet, engrossed in his work.

 

She gripped the test tight in her hands. “I need to tell you something.” Saeyoung finally turned to give his attention, looking a little bit concerned. Mina handed him the test, and he quickly understood, his eyes getting wide. “I’m pregnant.”

 

He sat there silently processing the news for a minute before he looked up, giving her a wobbly smile. “You’re sure?” 

 

“I need to have an ultrasound just to be 1000% certain, but yeah, I’m pretty sure,” Mina answered, breathless.” Without another word, Saeyoung stood up to hug her gently, careful as though he were afraid of hurting his baby. “Are you sure you’re okay with going through with this?”

 

“Of course I’m happy, but…” Saeyoung paused as the full gravity of the situation began to hit him. “But what if I’m not good at it?”

 

“Not good at what?”

 

He sat Mina down, clasping her hands. “At being a parent. I never exactly...had a good example set for me. I never knew my father, and my mother was...well, you know.”  _ An abusive alcoholic.  _

“I don’t want to hurt my kid the way my mother hurt Saeran and me.” While Saeyoung was elated by Mina’s news, and very much wanted to have this child with her, he still worried about the fact that he had no experience with proper parenting. Mina had her own parents to look to for guidance, as they were “normal” sort of people, but he had no reference of his own. He didn’t even have  _ friends  _ who were parents. He would be the first person in RFA to become one.

 

Mina squeezed his hands, gazing into his eyes. “Saeyoung...It’s going to be okay. Just the fact that you  _ want  _ to do better will make a difference. We’re going to figure this out together, you know? You’re not all alone in doing this. You’re going to love our child, right?”

 

“Of course I will.”

 

“And you’re going to do your best to always be kind and gentle with them, right?”

 

“Is that even a  _ question _ ?”

 

“Then you’re going to do just fine.” Mina smiled, reassuring him. She understood Saeyoung’s fear, and didn’t think it was totally unreasonable, but she knew him well enough to know that he would be better than his parents. It might be difficult at first, but he would easily figure things out. He was a quick learner, after all. 

 

That seemed to easy his anxiousness. “I should tell Saeran that he’s going to be an uncle,” he mused with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, imagining that his brother seemed to be the type who would be nervous around babies. “And we should start figuring out what we’re going to name the twins.”

 

“T-Twins?! Hold on a second, Saeyoung!”

  
  


_ Jaehee and Anna _

 

“Can you bring me that bag of coffee beans?” Anna asked Jaehee. “I want to go ahead and start stocking the bins.” Jaehee lifted the heavy bag with a grunt, waddling over to her girlfriend and passing her the sack. “Thanks.”

 

“I’ll go ahead and start filling the sugar containers,” she went into the expansive kitchen, freshly cleaned after a week of staff training, grabbing a couple of bags of cane sugar and taking them out into the dining room. Jaehee removed the elastic band from around her wrist, tying back her hair, which had grown long over the past year. She filled the dispenser at each table, careful not to spill any on the floor. “Do you really think we’ll be able to open tomorrow?” she called out to Anna, nervous.

 

“Of course! Everyone is trained, almost everything is set up, and we’ve already put up a lot of our stock.” Anna seemed self-assured, but then again, she’d been in this industry for a long time.

 

In the past year, Jaehee had left her position with C&R, and eventually Anna had resigned from her Executive Chef position after taking some time to save money for their new endeavor. At some point, Jumin had assigned Jaehee to a project that involved researching the production of coffee beverages, and she’d found that she had a real interest in it. She and Anna had gotten to talking about it one late night over a bottle of wine, and floated the idea of opening a cafe, which at the time had seemed like a ridiculous pipe dream. However, the concept stuck with them, and over time evolved into plans for an establishment serving both artisanal coffee drinks and traditional cajun meals from Anna’s recipe book. The more they thought about it, talked about it, the more realistic their silly little dream became. One day Anna had heard of a restaurant space for rent at a low price, and they’d taken the leap of faith together, signing a lease and beginning work on set-up, menu development, and the hiring and training of their employees.

 

In this last day of preparation before opening, almost all of RFA’s members had enlisted themselves to assist. Behind the counter, Yuki stood atop a stepladder, painting the lettering for the menu, with Zen behind her, making sure she didn’t take a wrong step and fall. A friend of Saeran’s brought in box after box of ceramic dishware, which she’d created for the restaurant at a discounted price. Jumin’s version of “helping” involved tasting every type of wine on offer, making sure they were “suitable” for pairing with the food. He and Jaehee remained on friendly terms despite her resignation, perhaps friendlier than before, since she no longer had to do his bidding as his assistant. He said that he admired Jaehee’s courage in taking a risk to pursue her goals; he couldn’t imagine doing something like that, preferring the safety of his father’s established company. Even with ten to twelve extra sets of hands getting things ready, Jaehee still felt nervous that they wouldn’t be ready in time to open the next day, but, then again, she always had been the type to worry too much.

 

By nine o’clock that night, Anna and Jaehee’s small army of helpers had managed to get the cafe up to snuff, and ready for opening bright and early the next day. It would be an early morning for the two women, rolling into work at 7 a.m. sharp. Even after they’d locked up for the night and turned out all of the light, Jaehee just stood in front of the building, staring at it. “I can’t believe we did it,” she marveled, eyes sparkling.

 

Anna kissed her girlfriend on the cheek, grabbing her hand. “It was a labor of love, yeah?”

 

“Lots of love.” Jaehee turned toward her, wrapping her arms around Anna’s shoulders and leaning in for a real kiss, celebrating the massive task they’d accomplished. Though, the real challenge would begin tomorrow, assuming business went as well as they hoped.

 

Not ten minutes had passed since Yoosung unlocked the front doors and put the “grand opening” balloons outside when the first customer strolled through the doors, looking for a cup of coffee and a pastry for breakfast. Jaehee and Anna were more than happy to dish up a Cafe au Lait and a plate of Beignets to-go, and, smelling the carefully-prepared fare, the customer assured them that he’d be back to try their other items another time. By lunchtime, the cafe was busy enough. They weren’t exactly  _ swamped _ , considering that it  _ was  _ still the first day, but business was good. Though this was all new to her, Jaehee got the hang of it easily enough, earning plenty of compliments (and good tips) on her coffees. As closing time approached, both women felt tired, but satisfied with their work, and the fruits of their labor. Once their crew had cleaned up, and locked the day’s earnings in the safe, Anna and Jaehee slumped down at one of the tables for one last cup of (decaf) coffee. As always, it was made with love.

  
  


_ Jumin and Sun-Mi _

 

Crisp, white lace swathing her body, Sun-Mi stared into the full-length mirror, frowning. Everyone around her gushed about what a beautiful bride she made, about how the a-line gown accented her narrow waist, how  _ lovely  _ was the gift sent over this morning by her husband-to-be. To Jumin’s credit, he  _ had  _ shown restraint in choosing a simple strand of pearls with matching drop earrings, rather than a cluster of flashy diamonds. He knew well enough that Sun-Mi wasn’t about all of that stuff, even as he continued to spoil her. After years and years of being pursued by women who only wanted his money, he found this trait of hers refreshing. Sun-Mi cringed inwardly, realizing how “not like the other girls” that sounded. On this one day, she wished she at least  _ looked  _ like the “other” girls- more slim-faced, skin more even in tone, narrower in the hips. Shopping for this dress had been a nightmare. All of the gowns that fit her in the upper-body were dangerously tight on the lower half, and anything that fit her wide hip structure hung pitifully loose on her chest. Eventually, she gave up on buying something off-the-rack and let her father hire the bespoke designer that he’d originally wanted. Between him and Jumin, this whole affair had become all-too-extravagant all-too-quickly. 

 

_ “This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing!”  _ Mina had told her before.  _ “Just sit back and enjoy it! Do you know how many women would kill for a wedding like this?!” _

 

Sun-Mi was not one of those women. She didn’t really like to be the center of attention, and she worried that this day would be more nerve-wracking than enjoyable. Considering her fiance’s social status, there were bound to be plenty of reporters here to record every detail, and Sun-Mi worried what they would have to say about her. Though it didn’t matter to most people any more, more conservative individuals would label her an improper match for Jumin, considering her status as the illegitimate child of a foreigner. These same people had lauded his supposed engagement to “Sarah, the protege of Glam Choi,” who had been an obvious gold-digger the whole time. Jumin assured her that it didn’t matter to him, because he loved Sun-Mi for who she was, but it still wasn’t exactly pleasant to be talked about like that. She must have been making some kind of face, because before she knew it, Mina was at her side with a glass of water. “Is everything alright?”

 

Color draining from her face, Sun-Mi turned to face her friend. “What if I’m not good enough for him?”

 

“Are you kidding?” Mina looked dumbfounded. “You’re  _ good  _ enough for any man in the world.”

 

“But what if he wakes up one day and realizes that he should have married someone with more…” Sun-Mi made a flourishing hand motion. “... _ prestige _ .”

 

Mina sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “If everything you’ve ever told me about Jumin is true, he doesn’t  _ want  _ ‘prestige.’ He wants a woman who loves him for the the person he is aside from his wealth, and that’s  _ you _ , ya big dummy! He loves the  _ shit  _ out of you! Just look him in the eyes when you go out there! You make him happy, and  _ that’s  _ what matters to him. Come on! You know better than this, so get your ass out there and wife that man up!”

 

“O-Okay…” Sun-Mi knew her friend was right; she was being ridiculous. She turned back to the mirror, putting on a brave face. “Okay!”

 

Jaehee knocked on the door, alerting the women inside that it was time. Somehow she’d been roped into all this as a kind of secondary wedding planner. Sun-Mi’s father waited just outside, already looking like he was ready to start crying. He had waited so many years for this moment, and now it had finally arrived. Arranging themselves in the correct order, the whole party made its way toward the chapel. Sun-Mi wasn’t particularly religious herself, but Jumin had been raised as such, so they had booked the most ornate (and expensive) church in the city. One by one her bridesmaids started down the aisle- old friends and new. Neither she or her fiance knew anyone with small children, so Elizabeth the Third and Choo-Choo would stand in as the flower girl and ring bearer in this case, a small detail to showcase the couple’s personalities. Driver Kim carefully escorted them down the aisle to the guests’ delight, Elizabeth’s collar accented with rosebuds and a silk ribbon tied around Choo-Choo’s neck which held the shining wedding bands.

 

Now, at long last, it was Sun-Mi’s turn. She grasped her father’s arm as the heavy wooden doors swung open wide. The guests stood, turning back to look at her. Jumin craned his neck to try and see, but the aisle was long, and he could just make her out across the expansive chapel. She began the long march forward, careful not to step on the hem of her gown and trip. Sun-Mi’s heart pounded in her chest; she wasn’t used to having all eyes on her. Finally her husband-to-be got a good look at her, covering his mouth in awe, though his smile remained apparent in his eyes as they followed his bride all the way to the front. Joining him, he lifted the sheer veil to expose her face, taking a shuddering breath of delight as he gazed at her. In that moment, everyone else seemed to disappear. Even if the whole world looked on, this was their moment, their day, their happily-ever-after.

 

“I do.”

  
  


_ Hyun and Yuki _

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hyun asked as he and Yuki walked back from the gravesite, heading for the waiting car.

 

“Yes, I’m fine,” she told him. This had been a long time coming, anyway. Her grandfather had been sick for the past year, and his time had eventually come. While Yuki herself remained relatively calm, much of her family argued with one another, concerned with the future of the Asano syndicate. The deceased’s eldest son, Yuki’s father, had long separated himself from the family business, and knew nothing of its inner workings, not that he’d accept an offer anyway. The second son was a bit too...mercurial to be a proper family head. He was too emotional, too quick-to-anger to provide proper guidance. In order to survive, the  _ Asano-gumi  _ would need a level-headed, logical sort of person to take charge. Yuki tried not to think too much of it as she and Hyun returned to the family home for a hot meal, instead enjoying the company of her family, and finding amusement in how her parents fawned over her boyfriend.

 

“Miss Asano, may we speak with you?” Both Yuki and Hyun looked up to see two rough-looking men, covered in tattoos and scars, gesturing for her to follow them.

 

Hyun grabbed her arm as if to say  _ “You don’t have to go with them if you don’t want to,”  _ but she stood, looking unafraid. “It’s alright. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Yuki followed them off into another room, her kanji tattoo peeking out from underneath the back of her kimono. Though he couldn’t hear any sounds of struggle, or even of disagreement, he still worried about her. Maybe he was being irrational. Those men hadn’t seemed angry, and she’d likely known them since childhood as her grandfather’s employees, but this whole situation still weirded Hyun out. Of course, he wasn’t used to anything like this. Yuki’s father noticed his concern and poured him another cup of tea, assuring him that she would be okay.  _ Jagiya...please be careful.  _

 

Walking swiftly, Yuki returned to the main room, motioning for Hyun to follow her. She led him outside to the garden, the flowering trees and plants punctuated by a thicket of bamboo and an old-fashioned bridge positioned over a koi pond. Whatever happened in that room, she wanted to discuss it privately, looking around to see if anyone was listening in. “Yuki…” Hyun lowered his voice to a whisper. “What happened?”

 

She bit her lip, still glancing around. “They made me an offer.”

 

“An offer? What kind of offer?” Any overture made by a Yakuza syndicate sounded dangerous to Hyun.

 

“To become the family head.”

 

His eyes widened. “Are you serious?” He knew that in her youth, Yuki had dreamed of even  _ being involved  _ with the family business. She said that she wasn’t into all that anymore, but could that sort of dream resurface after all these years? “What did you tell them.”

 

Yuki snorted, as if the answer should be obvious. “I told them no!” 

 

“But this was what you wanted for so long!” Hyun reminded her, dumbfounded.

 

“But it’s not what I want anymore. They begged me to just think about it and give them a final answer later, but I already know what it’s going to be.”

 

“Maybe...you  _ should _ think about it. You don’t want to end up regretting it later.” As much as Hyun didn’t necessarily  _ want  _ his girlfriend to become a crime boss, he still trusted her to make the decision for herself. Yuki sighed in response, honestly surprised that Hyun would  _ ever  _ be okay with her doing that. As a teenager, this would have been a dream come true. She wouldn’t just be an  _ Ane-san _ , but the head of the whole syndicate! From an adult perspective, it seemed ridiculous and irresponsible. It wasn’t the kind of life she wanted now, for herself or for Hyun.

 

She shook her head. “I won’t regret it. I haven’t wanted that kind of life for a long time now.” Yuki raised an eyebrow. “Would  _ you  _ want to go back to your days in a motorcycle gang?”

 

Hyun grimaced. “Okay, good point. I just want you to make your choice for yourself.”

 

“I am. I like the life that I have now, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m going to tell them no.” She smiled, confident in her decision.

 

“As long as you’re sure.”

 

“Absolutely.” Yuki flashed a dazzling grin, a twinkle in her eye. “Besides, I’ve got a party to plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A heartfelt thank you to everyone who read, loved, and supported this work for the last year-and-a-half. I am so glad to have accomplished this, but am a little bit sad to see it end. Now, on to the next adventure!


End file.
